it will rip your heart and soul out

I could do it. I could rip your life out like a fury, like a beast.
I could stand over you with my red hands
and lap the heart out of your hollow chest.
I’m a wolf, I’m a woman, I’m a building hurricane.
I’m whole-way sharp teeth, soul-sick wet claws.
I say “love me,” and you say, “you’re killing me.”
I say, “i’d die for you,” and you say,“ You’d kill for me—that’s not the same thing.
—  Elisabeth Hewer, Wishing for Birds
Watching Kimi no na wa
  • What you expected: Cute highschoolers swapping bodies which results in hilarious shenanigans and the unexpected budding romance.
  • What you got: fuCKING PLOT TWIST BECAUSE SWAPPING BODIES IS APPARENTLY NOT ENOUGH. MOTHERFUCKER KICK IN THE GUTS RIGHT WHERE YOUR FEELS HURT THE MOST. PLOT TWIST AGAIN. THE AGONY™. SOUL EATING SUSPENSE. YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT OF YOUR CHEST. TORTURED FEELS. ARE THEY GONNA MAKE IT? ARE THEY GONNA MISS EACH OTHER AGAIN??? ARE THEY GONNA REMEMBER!!?? I DIDN'T FUCKING SING UP FOR THIS I WAS NOT READY. LOVE STORY OF THE CENTURY. CHEWING YOUR NAILS AND SOBBING INTO A PILLOW UNTIL THE VERY LAST SECOND OF THIS FORSAKEN MOVIE.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
—  Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

me in my head: oooooh my goD he is so CUTE AND HANDSOME and idk how to cope like i cannot deal with this LOOK AT HIM I WANT TO KISS HIS SHINY NOSE AND HIS LIL CHEEKS AND HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE HE’S SO FUCKING CUTE how can anyone be so SOFT AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME must be an angel must be handcrafted by the gods the boy is just too good to be true pls just rip my heart out it is yours to keep and you know what take my soul too while you’re at it

me in my tags: yoongi. bts. he looks so cute.

The Ten Types of Supernatural Episode:  an Illustrated Guide.

1.  The Generic:

This is the kind of episode fandom veterans fondly refer to as “Old School Supernatural.”  Features a 70s rock soundtrack, a classic (yet in hindsight, relatively nonthreatening) ghost or monster, comically bad special effects, and body horror.  Probably from season one. 

Examples:  “Wendigo,” “Bloody Mary,” “Bugs.”    

2.  The Classic:

Not to be confused with the Generic, the Classic is the kind of episode that everybody remembers and everybody loves.  It’s infinitely quotable, carefully toes the line between hilarious and absurd, and is still frequently blogged about even if it came out 7+ years ago.  Almost definitely features Gabriel. 

Examples:  “Tall Tales,” “Mystery Spot,” “Changing Channels.”

3.  The Life Changer:

Once you see this episode, you will never be the same.  Whether it introduces a beloved character, kills them, or raises them from the dead, the Life Changer is the episode that either sends you into a downward spiral of unhealthy obsession, or merely accelerates it.

Examples:  “Lazarus Rising,” “Abandon All Hope,” “Lucifer Rising.”

4.  The Black Comedy:

Though much of Supernatural revolves around a unique cocktail of horror and humor, the Black Comedy is almost impossible to miss.  From famine-induced cannibalism, to a would-be antichrist, to a killer pagan Santa Clause, the humor of these episodes is darker than Batman’s worst nightmares and probably at least twice as depressing, yet manages to be oddly magical all the same.

Examples:  “Yellow Fever,” “My Bloody Valentine,” “A Very Supernatural Christmas.”

5.  The Crack Fic: 

These are the episodes whose only real purpose is to make you wonder if Supernatural is some kind of elaborate fever dream.  Neither advance the plot nor provide much further insight into its characters, but still entertaining in terms of pure absurdity. 

Examples:  “Man’s Best Friend with Benefits,” “It’s a Dog Dean Afternoon,” most of season seven.  

6.  The WELL-WRITTEN Crack Fic:

Despite having the same brand surreal absurdity of the Crack Fic, the WELL-WRITTEN Crack Fic not only serves to further character development, but will also tug at your heartstrings, make you laugh, and very likely make you cry. 

Examples:  “Monster Movie,” “Sam, Interrupted,” “Hunteri Heroici.”

7.  The Meta Fiction: 

Some shows break the fourth wall, but this one comes at it with a sledgehammer.  From directly addressing the fandom and its terminology to the show itself, the Meta Fiction episode is usually surprisingly enjoyable and well-done, if you can get past the sheer mindfuck of it.

Examples:  “Fanfiction,” “The French Mistake,” “Don’t Call me Shurley.” 

8.  The Tearjerker: 

This one specializes in one thing and one thing only, and that is emotionally destroying you.  May disguise itself as other kinds of episodes, like the Crack Fic and the Meta Fiction, before swiftly and efficiently moving in for the kill.

Examples:  “the Rapture,” “After School Special,” “the Man Who Would be King.”   

9.  The Tragedy Porn:

Do you enjoy watching your favorite characters suffer and die horribly for no particular reason?  No?  Well in that case, you picked the wrong show, my friend.  From the heart wrenching pain of Dean being forced to kick a newly-human Cas out of the bunker, to the soul-destroying injustices that were Kevin and Charlie, the Tragedy Porn is an episode that exists for no other reason than to make you want to crawl into a hole and die.

Examples:  “I’m No Angel,” “Dark Dynasty,” “Rock and a Hard Place.”

10.  The Grand Finale: 

The Tearjerker, made ten times worse with the addition of “Carry on my Wayward Son” and a cliffhanger ending.  Specializes in metaphorically ripping your heart out, making you sob like a pre-adolescent girl, and psyching you up for the next season, no matter how emotionally exhausted you may already be.

 Examples:  “No Rest For the Wicked,” “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” “Swan Song.”  

I. Choke up the depression
Feel it shape-shift to mania in your larynx
You’re drinking bottled happiness now

II. Find someone that scares you more than you scare yourself
Rip your own heart out of your chest and put it in her hands
You’ll only feel real when it hurts

III. You’ll be a mirror
The girl that dropped out of physics–
Bend her light through your focal point
Show her what she wants but does not need
Your friends will say nothing about the bruises
They all know reflected images are not real

IV. Sink deep into your own body
Search
For the soul you convinced yourself was never really there to begin with
Sickness eats at your brain and shreds the lining of your stomach
Self diagnose, self medicate, self destruct

V. Tell the boy in gym class about the pills you pop on the weekend
Two years later he’ll crash his car rolling on the same prescription
Shatters his ulna on the driver’s side window
Quit those and started abusing his adderall
Another casualty left in your wake

VI. Continue to avoid yourself
Internal monologue is canceled today
Drown out any remnants of thought with music louder than your lungs when they scream for nicotine

VII. Today you’re the cool girl in all black
Tomorrow you’ll wear tie dye and soften your voice
Spending the day wondering if your bisexuality is an excuse to ignore the burning need to find your identity

VII. Music can’t drown out the intrusive thoughts
Stay up all night waiting for the floor to fall out from underneath you
Justify three days without sleep as a forced shift to mania
Realize you’re still wallowing in crippling depression

VIII. Switch to uppers

IX. Get clean under a microscope when she gets sick of carrying around your arhythmic heart
Detox in front of an audience
Spend March sweating and shivering
Dry heaving in the back corner of the girl’s bathroom between AP literature and AP psychology
There’s no time to talk about it

X. Spend a year learning to trust again
Make progress through regression
Hurt your friends
See a doctor
Keep an untouched bottle of pills on your nightstand
Let them pile up month after month
Is addiction okay if your name is on the prescription?

XI. Become enchanted by the boy in your ceramics class
Let him shatter the mirror you hide behind
Force yourself to face the tough questions
He’ll hold your hand as you navigate the shattered glass
Lead him to safety–he doesn’t wear shoes

XII. 2 a.m. on a school night and you’re sitting in his car looking up at the stars
Wrapped in the blanket he keeps just for you
Laughing at nothing and feeling everything
This is it
This is you
And you are enough

—  Thank you for holding my hand while I find myself
Meant to Be (1)

Meant to Be Masterlist

Pairing: Prince!Bucky X Servant!Reader

Words: 609

Warnings: None yet!

Summary: As the news of the King’s death spreads throughout the land, lords and ladies from the nearby countries swarm the castle to offer condolences to the queen and her son. As the prince mourns his father, he is met with the reality that he must now choose a wife and begin his reign.

A/N: I’m still shit at summaries. It’s more interesting I swear. Congrats @sherrybaby14 on your 2K :) :) This is for her 2K Villain Challenge. This’ll probably be a short series. Let me know if you want to be tagged HERE.

P.S. I’ll do the tags tomorrow. I’m really tired right now.

Keep reading

              DAMON SALVATORE SENTENCE STARTERS.


                 taken from ian somerhalder’s portrayal of him on the show, not the book.


  • “Hello, brother.”
  • “Stop being cute.”
  • “Nostalgia is a bitch.”
  • “I’m stronger than you think.”
  • “I’m gonna go rip his head off now.”
  • “Our life is one, big proverbial coin toss.”
  • “I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.”
  • “Sorry to spoil your seven minutes in heaven. We have a problem.”
  • “For someone who doesn’t wanna be like me, you sure are good at it.”
  • “Take it from the guy who supposedly got it all and is sitting with bubkis. Stop moping about who are not and start being the guy you are.”
  • “Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many… adjectives.”
  • “Is that where you’ve been all morning, out buying bossypants?”
  • “I’m not some drunk sorority chick. You can’t roofy me.”
  • “Does it get tiring, being so righteous?”
  • “You just don’t wanna die, do you?”
  • “Why are you so mean to me?”
  • “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.”
  • “Hashtag, you’re welcome.”
  • “The only one I can count on is… me.”
  • “Today has been a no-good, very-bad day.”
  • “This would be so much more fun if we were naked.”
  • “I guess I’ll have to cuddle up next to the fire with all my rage.”
  • “You brood too much… My actions, they belong to me. I own them.”
  • “I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message.”
  • “Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.”
  • “I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.”
  • “Your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.”
  • “I’m trusting you. Don’t make me regret it.”
  • “Alright, brother. Time to go.”
  • “I’d be extra nice to me right now.”
  • “You are officially the most terrifying person I know.”
  • “Didn’t you find it weird that you made a friend so fast? Have you met you?”
  • “I gotta admit, even for me, it’s a little kinky.”
  • “You have no sense of humor.”
  • “So all’s forgiven?”
  • “I don’t do good. It’s not in me.”
  • “Stop being ashamed of who you are.”
  • “I’m better at being the bad guy anyway.”
  • “Take it from me: strange is bad, dead is worse.”
  • “I promise you. I will never leave you again.”
  • “You want a partner in crime? Forget _____. I’m so much more fun.”
  • “You know what they say: the way to a psycho killer’s heart is through his stomach.”
  • “Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.”
  • “There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.”
  • “Hindsight is almost a bigger bitch than you.”
  • “I’ve been dead before. I got over it.”
  • “Life sucks. Get a helmet.”
  • “You need to stop doing that.”
  • “Humanity’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
  • “I’m staying clear of all women at the moment.”
  • “I want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave.”
  • “You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.”
  • “First of all, don’t nickname. That’s my thing.”
  • “And here I thought my future was bleak.”
  • “I have moves you’ve never even seen before.”
  • “You do realize you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?”
  • “You know this whole pretending to hate me is getting a little silly.”
  • “Guilt. Don’t know it, but I’ve heard it can be a royal bitch.”
  • “One thing you’re not going to do, you’re not going to mess with me.”
  • “You’re lucky you’re adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.”
  • “If you’re gonna be maudlin, I’m gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.”
  • “Sometimes really terrible things happen to amazing people.”
  • “You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.”
  • “That’s it? We’re gonna kill bad guys together and you’re not even going to talk to me?”
  • “Is that what you people think of me? That I just instantly resort to violence?”
  • “You are literally the best person I’ve ever known.“
  • “You came here to kill me?”
  • “Eh. I’ve seen worse.”
  • “I think I like you.”
  • “I’m a good guy now, remember?”
  • “I’m lost… metaphorically, existentially.”
  • “I like a woman who knows what she wants.”
  • “Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.”
  • “You once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan.”
  • “So I’m thinking of a person. He’s reasonably good looking, charming accent, and he would be the most amazing wingman if he just got rid of his martyr complex.“
  • “Whatever desire you have to save me, I kinda need that right now.”
  • “Listen, how I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science.”
  • “Clarity over cleverness. That’s what I always say.”
  • “You’re choosing that woman over me?”
10

“They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’, turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

~ Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol 9: The Kindly Ones

Song Lyric Prompts

Some prompts may be altered slightly to sound better/fit the request (e.g. prompt may be turned into several different phrases, changed wording, etc.) Ye have been warned.


1. “If your gonna be the death of me that’s how I wanna go.” –Collar Full, Panic! At The Disco

2. “Drugs every corner this is Gotham City / Killer Croc came to kidnap you then cut out your kidney.” –Purple Lamborghini, Skrillex ft. Rick Ross

3. “All the boys and I / All the boys and I / Love her madly.” –All The Boys, Panic! At The Disco

4. “Can’t do this to me baby.” –Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

5. “I’ll chew you up and I’ll spit you out / Cause that’s what young love is all about.” –Bubblegum Bitch, Marina and the Diamonds

6. “Sometimes quiet is violent.” –Car Radio, Twenty Øne Piløts

7. “What a wonderful caricature of intimacy.” –Build God, Then We’ll Talk, Panic! At The Disco

8. “Choke this love till the veins start to shiver.” –River, BISHOP

9. “I’m scared to get close / And I hate being alone.” –Can You Feel My Heart, Bring Me The Horizon

10. “Holy hands / Well they make me a sinner.” –River, BISHOP

11. “And all the kids cry out / Please stop you’re scaring me / I can’t help this awful energy / God damn right you should be scared of me / Who is in control?” –Control, Halsey

12. “Are you insane like me / Been in pain like me?” –Gasoline, Halsey

13. “If crazy equals genius / I’m a fucking arsonist / I’m a rocket scientist.” –Crazy = Genius, Panic! At The Disco

14. “Why don’t you show me a little bit of spine / You’ve been saving for his mattress, love.” –Dance, Dance, Fall Out Boy

15. “I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt / But I make these high heels work.” –Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time, Panic! At The Disco

16. “The higher I get the lower I’ll sink / I can’t drown my demons they know how to swim.” –Can You Feel My Heart, Bring Me The Horizon

17. “This just ain’t livin’.” –Cancer, My Chemical Romance

18. “The normals / They make me afraid / The crazies / They make me feel sane.” –Mad Hatter, Melanie Martinez

19. “I’m fairly local / I’ve been around / I’ve seen the streets / You’re walking down.” –Fairly Local, Twenty Øne Piløts

20. “Our brains are sick but that’s okay.” –Fake You Out, Twenty Øne Piløts

21. “I need a gangsta / To love me better / Than all the others do.” –Gangsta, Kehlani

22. “I’m mean it, I’m okay (trust me) / I’m not okay.” –I’m Not Okay, My Chemical Romance

23. “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” –Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time, Panic! At The Disco

24. “Help our souls tonight / We’re losing / Losing this fight.” –Help Our Souls, Nihils

23. “To hang me up now / By my neck / Cause I’m a fate worse than death.” –Sarcasm, Get Scared

24. “I feel like I’m the worst so I always act like I’m the best.” -Oh No!, Marina and the Diamonds

25. “Could you imagine that / If we were gay?” –If We Were Gay, Ninja Sex Party

26. “Glory and gore goes hand in hand / That’s why we’re making headlines.” –Glory and Gore, Lorde

27. “You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece.” –Colors, Halsey

28. “You never know the psychopath sitting next to you / You never know the murderer sitting next to you.” –Heathens, Twenty Øne Piløts

29. “Can you save my heavy, dirty, soul?” –HeavyDirtySoul, Twenty Øne Piløts

30. “Those thoughts of past lovers / They’ll always haunt me.” –House of Memories, Panic! At The Disco

31. “When the city goes silent / The ringing in my ears gets violent.” –Jet Pack Blues, Fall Out Boy

32. “You got two black eyes from loving too hard / And a black heart that matches your blackest soul.” –LA Devotee, Panic! At The Disco

33. “I wanna make you shiver / Make your backbone quiver.” –Mercenary, Panic! At The Disco

34. “I do not have writers block / My writer just hates the clock.” –Migraine, Twenty Øne Piløts

35. “Don’t do love / Don’t do friends / I’m only after success.” –Oh No!, Marina and the Diamonds

36. “Make me / Make me impressed / Make me / Make me obsessed.” Pretty Little Psycho, Porcelain Black

37. “I’ve been thinking too much / Help me.” –Ride, Twenty Øne Piløts

38. “My shadow’s the only one who walks beside me.” –Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day

39. “You don’t love me / Big fucking deal.” –Starring Role, Marina and the Diamonds

40. “Don’t you think that it’s boring how people talk?” –Tennis Court, Lorde

41. “Whether near or far / I am always yours.” –The End of All Things, Panic! At The Disco

42. “Am I more than you bargained for yet?” –Sugar We’re Going Down, Fall Out Boy

43. “And I could just die laughing on your spiral of shame.” –Twin Skeletons, Fall Out Boy

44. “If wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch.” –The Good, The Bad, And The Dirty, Panic! At The Disco

45. “You’ll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away / But tonight I need you to stay.” -The Run and Go, Twenty Øne Piløts

46. “Drinking white wine in the blushing light.” –LA Devotee, Panic! At The Disco

47. “That shit is my jam.” –Samurai Abstinence Patrol, Ninja Sex Party

48. “Build a palace out in Paris just to fill with bitches.” –Purple Lamborghini, Skrillex ft. Rick Ross

49. “Your lips / They got me goin’.” –Lips, Marian Hill

50. “You don’t know the half of the abuse.” –Heathens, Twenty Øne Piløts

51. “God, I wish I never spoke.” –Soap, Melanie Martinez

52. “So what are you waiting for / Cause someone could love you more.” –LOST BOY, Troye Sivan

53. “In the Vegas lights / Where feelings spend the weekend.” –Vegas Lights, Panic! At The Disco

54. “Wow, I probably should’ve stayed inside my house.” –The Judge, Twenty Øne Piløts

55. “The windowsill looks really nice, right? / You think twice about your life / It probably happens at night, right?” –Holding Onto You, Twenty Øne Piløts


Feel free to add more or request your own lyrics!

Nothing Left To Say // Spencer Reid

Originally posted by trisgrimes

“Wasn’t it nice while it lasted?“ 

Images flooded into his mind. Memories of everything they’d been through playing like a film reel. 

Waking up to her. Her mouth slightly open, her hair an absolute mess. Stealing glances of her while she read in comfort. His blue sweater that looked better on her. The small stain from her careless eating. The smell of freshly made coffee awaiting him every morning. 

Soft hands. Loving looks. Lips painted a bright red. Eyes filled with amusement. The way she’d pop gum. The way he’d always make fun of her for it. Weekend nights spent at home. Movie marathons. The way she’d beg for her favorite foods and the way he’d so easily cave.

Coming home to find her dead asleep in the middle of the day. Curling up next to her. Reading his books to her while she listened. Having to explain things more than once. Her genuine interest in knowing what he loved. 

“Wasn’t it fun?” 

Salt in the air. The warm sand beneath his feet. The fact he’d finally caved and gone to the beach despite his distaste for it. The fact he was actually having fun. Her laughter as he struggled to chase after her, the shore proving to be a difficult place to run despite his long legs. The sand in their faces when he finally tackled her down. Their laughs. Her smile. 

Her hand leading him. A roller-coaster as high as the sky. His stomach filling with nervous butterflies. Her cheesy reassurances. The dread when they hurled forward at top speed. His relieved laughter when they finally got off. Her arm that kept him upright until he regained his balance. 

Teaching her how to play chess. Her confusion at the game. The way she’d sneak pieces away. Her cheating tactics. His amusement at her determination to win. The way she’d try to seduce him whenever she was losing. The way it almost always worked. 

“It hurt sometimes, didn’t it?" 

Her screams. His anger. Their own disappointment. The way her voice rose that caused his stomach to drop. The way her face fell when he yelled back. The pain she felt when he grabbed her shoulders a little too hard. The punch to his stomach when she would shove him away. The venomous words that were thrown carelessly. The tears. The bloodshot eyes. The feeling of having your heart ripped out and stomped on.

"But I still loved you." 

Her touch. The way her lips pressed gently against his skin. The way her eyes would glaze over underneath him. The heat. The passion. The lust and love swirled together so perfectly that they couldn’t exist without the other. The way his heart beat faster at the sight of her. The way she kissed him, full of fervor after having been apart. The way they felt like they were one. One soul divided into two bodies, destined to find their way to each other. Even if it wasn’t meant to last forever.

"I think it was worth it.” 

It was.

it has been years
since your body
was your own.

you tap fingers that are not yours
against skin you hardly feel,
watch a chest rise and fall,
and wonder
if your empty shell would echo
if somebody hit it hard enough.

something in you tells you
there was once life here-
something made of something more,
something made of soul,
of light,
of humanity.

but they ripped it out.
now you spend your time
wishing there was a way
to connect your thoughts to your brain,
your brain to your spinal cord,
and all of it
to the slow beat of your heart.

you dont speak at all
(or you speak in screams)
but their evil names are the only things you remember you can say
because they took scalpels
and carved the letters into your body
and you think maybe,
just maybe,
this body was theirs first.

did they beat you hard enough
for you to spit the spirit out?
did they hate you strong enough
for you to cast yourself out on your own?
did they torture you bad enough
to pull the soul out from your lips?
did they chase you long enough
to bring your spirit to its knees?

(despite the fact there was nothing left to hunt, you had to keep running,
your body will never stop running,
the scars are a testimony
to the fact that your body
will never forget-)

did they love you?
or did they love your body in a way
awful enough
for your soul to escape while it still could?

my body is a ruined temple
for a vacant god.
i left before they smeared my ichor
across the earth
and tinted the whole world gold.

—  my spirit is not here anymore
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
—  Neil Gaiman

in psychology class
we’re taught that borderline means destruction, means violence, means uncontrollable rage, means abuse
borderline means monster
but from what i have experienced
borderline means you’re more likely to be abused than abuser
more likely to be taken advantage of
because you don’t want to be abandoned
you need love, validation, approval
you’re frantic to please people so that you can feel okay with yourself
and every emotion cuts like a knife to the heart
when someone tells you you’re bad, or that you’ve messed up
your heart screams in pain
it burns, it squirms, it writhes in absolute agony
your mind begs “stop! please, god, make it stop, make this horror stop, if i have to endure another minute of this excruciating torture i would surely rather die!”
so you blurt out “i know. i’m sorry. i’m terrible. it’s my fault. i swear, i’ll be better.”
not only to stop your soul from being ripped apart by guilt, but because you truly believe that you have caused harm upon a person you love, and that you are a horrible, disgusting person
so that makes you vulnerable
because the pain of enduring the emotional anguish of feeling inadequate is more painful than the abuse that they inflict

  • James: Is that your mother?
  • Sirius: Where?
  • James: The other end of the platform.
  • Sirius: Does her gaze draw the last vestiges of happiness from your soul like a dementor?
  • Sirius: Does her mouth pull ever so slightly into a grimace, as though she has smelled the foulest stench to plague mankind but will not dare to admit defeat?
  • Sirius: Does her claw-like hands look as though they're ready to rip the beating heart out of a young child in order to continue her putrid existence?
  • James:
  • James: Er - she looks like she's glaring at you.
  • Sirius: Yeah, that's probably her.
There will be a time in which the word love does not make your blood turn cold and your skin crawl. There will be a time where your heart won’t ache after the sole time it has ever been broken. And although it was only broken a single time, that crack is like a deep cut that will not heal, continuing to seep in the poisons of it’s past. There will be a time where you look at them and you don’t see pain, all you see are some good memories and a lovely face. Where you have created distance between each other and you are no longer a bystander in your own life, waiting for an ounce of love from a person who you’ve emptied your soul for. Having your heart broken so badly when you’re only fourteen can change your entire mindset. When you’re so young and the world is fresh and new and you’re so naive and figuring yourself out. When the thought of booze has never crossed your mind and you didn’t want to die. But now, you are a ripped quilt being sewn up slowly in anticipation for that time.
—  there will be a time

anonymous asked:

You said you've started reading some fics, any favorite ones/favorite authors so far?

Which other fic authors do you admire/recommend?


I still haven’t had much chance to read YOI fic yet so I’ve only read a handful of fics/authors so far but what I have read it all incredible! 

‘Beside the Dancing Sea’ by @omgkatsudonplease is a beautiful selkie AU that is very true to the celtic mythology which I loved and is also heartbreaking and made me late for a party because I was too busy reading it! You will get hooked so fast and it wont let you go until you’re done

‘The Boyfriend Experience’ by @victorsporosya is a fic that is currently destroying my life for being too good! It’s an escort AU so be careful of that if that’s something you’re not into but it’s something that I would highly recommend if that’s not a problem.The last chapter utterly ruined me and it’s not done hurting me yet! I love it so much

The ‘Love Hotels & Instagram’ series by @lucycamui is the perfect combination of humour, fluff and smut and every fic in it is gold! Also her new WIP ‘Sex Coach’ has had me doubled over laughing and I would quite literally sell my soul for every update

‘Not Gold Like In Your Dreams’ by @ebenroot is another fic that ruined me. It’s a Penelope AU and it starts off cute and adorable and then will rip you heart out near the end. I still haven’t read the final chapter because I’m still in recovery from chapter 7! 

‘Kings in Couture’ by @forovnix  is another one that I love. It’s a Devil Wears Prada AU and a WIP but there is a lot of extra content on her tumblr and well worth reading as the beginning is so, so good! And I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that we can’t wait for more

And what I’m currently reading is all of @braveten‘s work because she is a writing monster who has written a crazy amount of excellent fic for this fandom and it’s all too good! I had to take a break from reading due to personal commitments/ writing  but I have already been completely hooked on ‘All The World’s A Stage’ and I can’t wait to start reading it again along with everything else she has written! 

Run (Suga x Reader)

You just have a natural tendency to run away from your problems. Including your eon-long crush on Yoongi.

fluff + comedy, 2.6k words, yoongi/reader, college au


You vaguely register that Taehyung is asking you a question about some date he’s planning for his girlfriend, but you can’t be bothered to listen. There are more important and immediate issues at hand for you right now. “Yeah, sure,” you say distractedly, not even knowing what you’ve just agreed to. Yoongi’s just sent you a Tumblr post of cute animals and you’re too busy squealing over the adorableness and also the fact that oh my god Yoongi is texting me.

You’ve only been crushing on him for like two years. Maybe more. He’s also probably the only reason why you still try to remain relevant in the world instead of fully accepting the void with open arms.

“You’re not really paying attention to me, are you?”

You finally look up from your phone. Taehyung’s pouting at you over his own burger; the kid barged into your dorm twenty minutes ago with food and about a million questions. “Uh, sorta? Ish?” You give him a nervous smile. He sighs.

“Whatever, it’s okay. I’ll just ask someone else.”

“I don’t understand why you’re freaking out so much about this though,” you say, picking up your burger. “It’s not like it’s your first date with her anything; you guys have been dating for a few months. It doesn’t have to be all that perfect right?”

Taehyung regards you for a minute. “It’s my one year anniversary with her.”

Okay, so maybe you don’t do a very good job at staying relevant and connected to the social world. You stare at him in utter shock. “Wh-Uh, yeah. I know. O-Of course.”

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