it will be good again

okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.

but i hate kids.

or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.

when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties. 

my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.

and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?

and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.

i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them. 

but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.” 

i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom. 

it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.” 

i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.

oncest only existed because y’all weren’t brave enough to ship the onceler with the lorax

10

Don’t laugh Bakugou, it’s a serious struggle

7

i get a lot of ideas shared in my inbox, and this was one i had to make real as soon as physically possible! 

i’m feeling like this is a universe where bridgette and felix never meet out of costume, and then keep hoping to find each other once their miraculous duties are over and their powers are gone. they finally meet on the stairs of montmartre, all because bri kept those ribbons in her hair just like ladybug… 

Triumph | RWBY Volume 5 Opening
Jeff Williams feat. Casey Lee Williams
Triumph | RWBY Volume 5 Opening

Triumph - RWBY Volume 5 Opening

Back to the fairytale
Back to the show
Back to the wall and there’s nowhere to go

Hopeless and desperate
All paths adverse
Things lookin’ bleak yeah
And they’re bound to get worse

Helpless and doomed and there’s no way to win
Goals unachievable, faith running thin
Lost and forlorn, impossible odds
That’s when you learn you’ve been messin’ with Gods

Send in your Grimm
Tear off a limb
Strike me with bolts of lightnin’
I won’t die

The battle seems unwinnable
But all we need’s a miracle
We’re goin’ up
We’ll never be denied

Can’t wish away the dismal days
Can’t bring back what is gone
We’ll waste no tears
On yesteryears
Instead we’ll carry on (carry on)

We’ll live for sure
We will endure
And though our goal is far

We’ll be the ones
To touch the sun
And triumph will be ours!