it will be good again

Serious Question

This is going to sound super silly, but I feel like I need to ask it in order to help myself. I’ve been in a massive rut with my art lately, and aside from Bi-Assed, I can’t get motivated to finish anything. Part of this is because of my day jobs, but the other part of me has just been feeling “Why bother?” I know that artists have to force themselves to get motivated and make art, and I’ve been trying, but with fatigue and depression it’s been……difficult. I honestly WANT to finish art (I have like 10 WIPS that I want to get done!!!), but I just can’t. Part of me thinks this is just because I tired, but I’m starting to feel like I’m just becoming lazy and empathetic, and I’m just using my day jobs as an excuse not to work on stuff. 

Make a long story short; depression and crappy day jobs as been making arting hard, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. So this is going to sound arrogant and stupid, but I want to know; What is it about my art that you guys like? What are things that you think I can improve? What about my art makes you happy?

I feel like a jerk for asking this. “Ohhhh tell me how awesome I am so I’ll get motivated.” But….I don’t know. I feel like asking this will help me figure things out and get my shit together.  

So SoonerCon was absolutely amazing and I had the best time, but there was one panel I went to on Saturday that made me really mad. It was called “Strong Women Are Star Wars.” Sounds amazing, right? Timothy Zahn was going to be on the panel, and I was really excited to go celebrate the women of Star Wars and hear Zahn’s thoughts about it (considering he’s created a few of those strong women). 

But as soon as it started, it became clear that it was going to be very different than I had envisioned. Almost all the rest of the six panelists (other than Zahn and one woman who ran a geek podcast) knew very little about Star Wars. One man freely admitted that he didn’t even like Star Wars, and he and another man proceeded to loudly vomit words for about 70% of the entire panel even though they had nothing of import to say (figures). The other two women who didn’t know Star Wars very well talked for about 25% of the rest of the time, and while they had some good things to say, most of it was negative — the opposite of a celebration of the women in Star Wars. Zahn’s comments were incredible, thoughtful, and illuminating, and I would have loved to hear more from him, but he was barely given a chance to speak (nor was the lovely podcast lady).

The entire thing turned into a “let’s bash Star Wars” session, and trust me, while I know there are problems with my favorite franchise, and I expected and looked forward to some discussion about the need for feminism in Star Wars, this was terrible. They basically came to the conclusion that Strong Women Aren’t Star Wars — except for Leia; she’s cool, I guess. I came out of there fuming, as did many others I talked to. It was a low point in an otherwise amazing weekend and I’m still mad about it

this is my art blog where i will draw what i want regardless of whether or not someone thinks i’m “"fetishizing”“ a person’s race for finding said person attractive. i do not fetishize daveed or african americans in any way. yes, he’s hot!! that’s a given. i would never walk up to him and call him daddy and as a matter of fact i never have called him that lmfao?? if you don’t like what i draw and/or want to antagonize me over fucking nothing PLEASE block me and stop wasting your time because i am not going to alter what i make and do based on a fucking stupid assumption. i refuse to make this blog a cesspool of hate and racism. I have not brought up race at all BECAUSE I AM NOT TRYING TO POINT IT OUT OR FETISHIZE THE RACE. you can sit and call me “fan” and “little white girl” and, this ones golden, “a little 12 year old”, but can’t provide a shred of proof or reasoning behind accusing me of something that would PROBABLY BE PRETTY OBVIOUS

HAD I ACTUALLY DONE IT

🔔🚨🚨⚠️Holy SHIT!! news flash!! ⚠️🚨🚨🔔there is a difference between fetishizing a race and finding a human of another race attractive!!! wow!

-i find a person attractive who just so happens to be black

-the only person(s) who made it about race whatsoever are the anons who felt the need to bring it up.

i shouldn’t even be trying to form an answer to the pure shit and babble that has been spewed at me. i won’t be responding to anything else i receive related to this because it’s complete bullshit that someone felt necessary to pull out of their ass and lay in front of me. fuck off.

there is a girl, fair as dawn,

who makes me weep when she is gone,

her eyes shine like gemstones, her smile, a rose

and when she is happy, the whole world knows.

for she is an angel, fair as the sun,

and to make her happy is such great fun.

you are the sweetest, most beautiful girl,

and seeing pictures of you sends my heart in a whirl.

i hope you know, dear junli, dear vi,

how very happy talking to you makes me

and i do hope you will enjoy this love letter

(i am sorry i could not do you better)

as for now i must bid you adieu,

but know, at the end, my heart is for you

——

me reading this like this is so nice … !!!!! who is it about…. alkJALDJFLAKSJDFADSF I’M DYING THOUGH WHAT please friend this is too good for me ;;;;; thank you so so much sunshine, this is just the SWEETEST far sweeter than me each line makes me clench my heart. thanks for being such an angel and making my week!! and me weak laksjd i’M SO SHY READING THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💝✨🌼☀🌈🍓

 ( also anyone with an email address with “hanayou” is a++++)

I just unfollowed over 100 people and I feel very liberated rn

If you are one of those blogs and are wondering why I unfollowed you, it is one of the below reasons:

- Your blog just doesn’t have enough Gotham content. Nothing personal, I just have a lot of faff on my dashboard and want to keep it more in-fandom y’know?

- You haven’t posted in over a month. 

- I hate you (in which case you’re also probs blocked, so look out for that)

i told my dad i was bi yesterday at the car dealership because he literally asked me straight up if i was

he took it “better” than i thought he would (ie: not straight up disowning me or telling me to stay out of his life)

but he also told me its just a “phase” and that im “feeling obligated” to identify as such because of how much im being “exposed” to the community and that because im catholic its demanded that i dont act on these impulses and that i “just havent met the right boy”

and then he said he only wants to see me in heaven and that he’s gonna schedule an appointment with a priest to talk to the two of us

so

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

I had 20+ posts done for Gen. 3 and decided to scrap them all because I wasn’t liking the way Reese’s story line was going, rip having a long queue :/