it was way too long ago

You know, I hadn’t been for awhile, but my resolve has been renews: Marvel Comics will receive zero (0) dollars from me until Nick Spencer is no longer working for them.  I grew up on Marvel, back in the days of 6 X-men comics and 4 Spider-man comics a month, and I bought all of them.  Until not too long ago, I had Marvel Unlimited and I bought comics from Marvel regularly.  However, Nick Spencer has been horrible enough and has shat all over one of Marvel’s most important legacy characters, that I can not support the comics division in any way.

A partial list of Nick Spencer’s problems (others, feel free to add any I missed)

  1. Making Captain America a member of Hydra, and in fact have “always” been a member of Hydra
  2. Treating fans who were upset like that with contempt and derision
  3. Lying to the fans by saying this is real and will not be retconned and then almost immediately making it not be real (and, frankly, if it hadn’t been for his reactions, people wouldn’t have been nearly as upset)
  4. Later, creating a team of super-villainous college students to mock and further belittle the people who were offended by the Hydra Cap behavior.
  5. Writing Captain America and, simultaneously acting like punching Nazis is bad.
Baby It's Cold Outside (BrOhm)

*Based off the song Baby It’s Cold Outside*

Bright white snow fell heavily outside, quickly piling up on the ground. It had started snowing a little while ago, so Bryce had decided to stop by a friend’s house before returning home. He glanced at the clock and realizing the time, moved to get up.

“Alright, it’s about time I should be getting home,” Bryce said to Ohm. Ohm frowned slightly, not wanting him to leave just yet.

“But Brycey, it’s cold outside. You’ll get stuck out there,” Ohm replied. Bryce just looked at Ohm with a small smile, continuing to get ready.

“I’ll be fine Ohm, it’s just a little snow. Thank you for tonight though, I had a good time.” Bryce stood up from the small black couch, but stopped when he felt Ohm’s hand on his own.

“Your hands are freezing Bryce. Can’t you stay a little longer?” Ohm pleaded with puppy dog eyes. Bryce resisted the urge to say yes, instead pulling his hand away.

“Ohm, I told you that I promised I’d be home by 10. Mom’ll start worrying if I’m not home soon,”

“You don’t need to rush Bryce, you have plenty of time. C'mon, just a little longer?” Bryce sighed, knowing he couldn’t say no.

“Fine, but only for a little while longer, ok?” Ohm nodded his head with a large smile on his face, saying he’d be right back.

“Oh, and you can play some music while you’re in there!” Ohm called. Bryce made his way over to the speaker and played a random station. Ohm walked back in with two drinks in his hands. He handed one to Bryce and the two took a seat back on the couch. Bryce knew he needed to leave soon, but for some reason he didn’t want to.

“There’s no way you could drive out there Brycey, even the cabs are all canceled,” Ohm said looking over at Bryce. He found himself getting lost in Bryce’s eyes that never seemed to stop sparkling. Bryce noticed Ohm staring and felt a blush rise to his cheeks. There seemed to be something binding him to that spot, not wanting to ever go. Bryce felt his beanie being pulled off by Ohm, who had finally stopped staring.

Bryce knew that he should say no, that he shod just leave right then and there before he got pulled in too deep, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He felt the couch shift slightly and he looked over to see that Ohm had moved closer to him.

For a while the two sat in silence, watching the flames of the fireplace dance, the orange and red light illuminating the space in front of them.

When Bryce glanced back at the clock, he panicked. Bryce rushed to get up and make his way towards the door.

“Ohm, it’s been great, but I need to go now. I can’t stay,” Bryce said. Ohm took Bryce and led him to the front window.

“Look at the storm Bryce, you can’t.” Bryce looked out at the storm knowing that he was right. He began to think about his brother, Jonathan. He knew he would never hear the end of it if he showed up tomorrow, and Luke would be right there with him.

“I’ve never seen a blizzard this bad before,” Ohm said quietly, staring at Bryce once more.

Ohm couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of Bryce’s mouth, watching as he nervously bit his lip.

“I know it’s bad out there Ohm, but I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t get home. Don’t you see?” Bryce asked. As he spoke, Ohm seemed to fall harder and harder, unable to pull himself out of whatever endless void he seemed to be drowning in.

“How can you do this to me?” Ohm whispered, gazing at Bryce and watching as a small blush rose to his cheeks.

“Wh-what?” Bryce questioned.

“It’s cold outside Bryce. Won’t you stay?” Bryce wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t stop himself from nodding slightly. Ohm’s hazel eyes lit up, a small smirk grew on his face.

The next thing he knew, Ohm captured Bryce’s lips with his.

3

Ana: So, where’re you from? I just moved here myself not too long ago.

Khalil: Born and raised here in the city, but my parents are from India. 

Ana: No way! That’s so awesome, I’ve always wanted to go there. I hear the food there is to die for. 

Khalil: A traveler, huh? Well, I could always whip up a little somethin’ for ya if you’d like?

Ana: You cook? That’d be nice of you but, you don’t have to do that!

Khalil: No worries, it’s my treat! You said you just moved here, yourself. Think of it as a super late housewarming gift. 

Ana: In that case, I should probably make you something, too.

Khalil: I look forward to it.

I realized that I promised a video tutorial WAY too long ago on how I made Pidge’s shirt. Unfortunately I don’t know if that will still be happening, however I quickly sketched up this pattern I made myself. It definitely has flaws (I would find a better was to make the turtleneck) however it fits and it doesn’t look too bad when put all together. Obviously this is very general and should be changed according to your own proportions.

Basically I just sewed the basic shirt and sleeve parts together how they should be and then for the white patterns on the front I layered white fabric that I hemmed into the shapes I needed onto the main shirt. The necklace part I cut out and ended up having my mother pin them in place while I was wearing the shirt and then I hand stitched/adjusted it afterwards.

Definitely not the best design, but I learned a lot with this project, as I always do when I make my own patterns. I hope this helps!

anonymous asked:

lol I'm so basking in the Finn hate like he's annoyed me for so long and it's been getting worse for a while and now most people are sick of him. I only remembered today that he actually phoned Aaron a few weeks ago for help.HA! Arsehole.

I’m loving it, he’s been pissing me off for a long time so I’m loving thay everyone is pretty much fed up of him too. Selfish and petty, said that earlier another calling Aaron up wanting his help and now when it’s the other way around he won’t help. Bellend.

I was tagged by @thegreypilgrimofmiddleearth

Nickname: Mae is technically my nickname, so! 

Star sign: Sagitarius I believe

Height: 5′ 3″ - ish

Time right now: 10:51 pm

Last thing googled: “Their satanic Magesties Request Album Cover” I was trying to show it to my friend 

Favorite music/artist/band: I like any music from the late 60′s/70′s made by skinny British boys who look like theyre on way too many drugs bonus points for concept albums and experimental recording techniques

Last movie watched: Half of Dirty Dancing…..the last full movie was Velvet Goldmine

Last TV show watched: I literally just watched the Marc show which was like a kids show from the 70′s bc Bolan is my style icon

What are you wearing now: Jeans, Velvet robe/jacket thing, striped shirt

When did you create your blog: a long time ago (like 4 years)

Do you have any other blogs: I run @rockstarstyle with Aubrey!

Do you get asks regularly: Sometimes but usually I use the private char function because I’m on mobile almost all the time

Why did you choose your URL: Because of elves but now it sort of just makes me think of eggs which is also ideal

Gender: female

Hogwarts House: GRYFINDOR

Pokémon Team: I forget but the red one

Favorite color: Red 

Average number of hours you sleep: as many as I fuckin can

How many blankets do you sleep with?: again, as many as possible without overheating

Dream job: Time-traveling alien with impeccable fashion sense

I tag - @selfmadeelf @lent23 @restless-in-midwinter @cucumber-castle @curiousthimble @speedmagick @emilyelfwing 

2

McHanzo Week Day 1: First kiss 

Also! I promised @schmogg long ago that I’d do a drawing inspired by their sweet gifset, so here it is! Sorry for the delay <3

“Emotional” Poth meme..

Thank you for almost 1000 followers~ it means a lot ♥

Palette belongs to @angexci

Goth belongs to @nekophy

This December I’m planning on letting you go, but it’s like the wind on a cold day—it sends a chill that makes my heart beat faster, the goosebumps and shivers part of that exhilaration.

Think of it like this—I take off on long runs and I still come back to the place we met, replaying memories like old film reels in my head. They’re already tinged with sepia, one year ago and it feels like forever.

Do you play them back, too? Do you ever miss the way we used to make each other laugh? Do you miss us?
Because lately all I do is think about where I was a year ago, meeting you for the first time and making you laugh, and talking so fast that we ran out of breath.

I miss you this December.
And I don’t want to miss you. Leaving has become less of a distant daydream and more of a reality, and the only certain thing now is that neither of us will be where we are now. The new year will separate us, finally sever that last thread linking us together. And I don’t want to hurt.

I don’t want to miss you like this. Like late night poetry, and the dizziness of a blow to the head whenever you walk by without a glance. I don’t want to be the girl who can’t let go of something she lost a long time ago, or begrudge you any happiness you might find.
I don’t want to miss you like a weight on my chest, like a physical thing resting behind my eyes, watching you as though from far away, watching you recede like my hometown in my rearview mirror.

This December I am letting you go, I tell myself. I cloak myself in ‘I don’t care,’ put up shields of nonchalance and make excuses about work like I can’t be bothered. This December I want to be better.

And maybe one day I will forget about you, like I forgot the first boy I fell in love with. Maybe one day it won’t hurt to see you, like claws raking across my chest. Maybe I’ll get to a place where I’m okay with you walking out of my life. Maybe I’ll be okay.

But what if I don’t want to let you go? What if the idea of forgetting you fills me with incredible remorse? What if I’m tired of breaking my own heart?
What if I’m tired of the pressure of plans and scraping my heart out, of replaying old memories and telling myself I can’t want you anymore?

What if I’m tired of just okay?

What if this December, I’m just yours?

—  jasminawritespoetry, ‘December’ 
This post possibly real?

so i’ve seen this picture a few times, and I usually always brush it off because I think it’s just some random picture with a photoshopped text to make it look like a post dan made. I mean dan would never post anything like this, even back when him and phil were flirty as shit, right? Well, I came across a post one day mentioning something about it, but again I thought that it would be way too good to be true. A few days ago however, my friend brought it up to me, and this time I actually wanted to look at this in depth myself. Turns out, I actually believe this post could very likely be real. There are only a few reasons why, but in my opinion they are pretty convincing. First, let’s look at “Phil’s” freckles.

Even with this low quality, you can easily spot a few. One on his collarbone, one right near his suprasternal notch (the crevice between the collarbones), and if you look really closely, you can see one or two above his armpit, and maybe a couple on his shoulder. I compared this to a few pictures of phil, and just look for yourself. I’ve circled each freckle(s) in a different color to make more sense.

(keep mind this picture is flipped)

(these are just a few pictures I could find at the moment, feel free to compare others if you find any)

so another thing I looked at was “Dan’s” hands in the picture. And I then compared them to other pictures of his hands. And again, there are major similarities.

Also notice that the skin tone differences are reeeeeally realistic if not spot on. Add all this, plus the caption of that post- the way it’s typed is pretty fetus-dan-esque, I must say. **btw i’m not saying i know for sure that this is real i’m just discussing observations & stuff !! All of this just really got in my head the past few days, and I’ve spent lots of time and actual tears over this. Hope you all have a nice day xoxo

Leaving You

Originally posted by sweetly87


-It was two days until Christmas. Tina, Queenie, and Jacob travelled all the way from America to celebrate the festive holiday at yours and Next’s flat.-


Word Count : 1425


After teasing you nonstop on the way home about your relationship with a certain magizoologist, Tina, Queenie, and Jacob decided to rest up a little from their long journey. You cleaned up around the flat a little before going  to check up on Newt’s creatures while he was gone doing whatever he needed to do. Not too long ago, Newt had saved a nest of occamy from a group of smugglers. Right now it was his top priority to get them back to health. Nothing hurt Newt more than seeing a creature being mistreated or injured. 

Keep reading

Pairing: Kuroo/Kenma

“What do you want for your birthday?”

“Nothing.”

12:00 a.m.
From: kenma

happy birthday

Three seconds later, Kuroo heard a knock at his window.

Looking up from his phone, Kuroo saw Kenma crouching patiently by the glass, head bowed with his hair hiding his profile. Kuroo didn’t bother with the lights; he threw the covers aside and opened his window, playfully clicking his tongue as he rubbed an eye tiredly. It was never fun to be woken up, especially not after an exhausting day, but this was Kenma and Kuroo would split the earth open for Kenma, so getting out of bed really wasn’t too hard to do.

 “What,” he teased. “All the way here just for me?”

Kenma huffed and hopped off the ledge. “No.”

But the moment Kuroo closed the window and turned around, Kenma was hugging him, arms around his waist and face buried in his chest. Kuroo’s laugh was a bit breathless from the way Kenma was tightening his grip, but it didn’t deter him from bowing to kiss the top of his head before threading his fingers through Kenma’s hair. “You really didn’t have to come all the way here, you know,” Kuroo murmured quietly, smile as much in his voice as on his lips. “We’ve still got school tomorrow…” 

“I wanted to say it in person.”

Kuroo loosened his embrace a bit when he felt Kenma start moving, couldn’t help but smile to look down and see Kenma looking up, chin to Kuroo’s chest. “Say what?”

Kenma blinked.

“Happy birthday.”

Kuroo laughed. “That’s hardly–”

“And I love you.”

Kuroo and Kenma didn’t officially start dating the way most people seemed to. They fell into it; it just so happened that their fingers would always lace together when they could, that their naps together would stretch out even longer, and that when Kuroo kissed Kenma for the first time, Kenma’s nose wrinkled but he murmured ‘again’ and Kuroo had never obliged so quickly.

They didn’t become a thing; they had always been together and had one another and as they grew up, their relationship began changing without either one of them realizing it but not hindering the progress when they did. At some point, the warmness of being with each other turned into a racing heartbeat and fluttering in stomach and realizing that it was mutual was possibly the only thing better.

Then one day Kuroo mumbled ‘I love you’ into Kenma’s hair and while he didn’t say it back, Kenma did look up and kiss him in a way that told Kuroo everything he’d ever wanted to know. 

Kuroo blinked several times before he felt the warmth begin prickling the back of his neck and cheeks, groaning and bringing a hand up to his face, heart racing but unable to look Kenma in the eye at the moment. “Jesus, if you–just like that–kitten–”

When he felt a cool rush of air, Kuroo dropped his hand in surprise and looked over to see Kenma kick off his shoes and step onto his bed. But before Kuroo could get in with him, Kenma reached a hand out and pressed it to Kuroo’s chest to stop him. He gave a lazy, lopsided smile and Kuroo just stared, brow furrowed. 

But before he could inquire why Kenma was standing instead of lying in bed, he understood when Kenma, for the first time, had to bow to kiss him.

Kuroo’s eyes closed instinctively and took a step forward, rested his hands on the other’s hips. It was a foreign feeling to have to tilt his chin upwards and dryly realized this was how it had always been for Kenma. The thought brought a smile to his lips that their gentle kiss allowed and Kuroo unintentionally shivered when he felt Kenma brush a few strands of hair behind his ear, leaving him with a shudder when he pulled back. 

“And that,” Kenma murmured, half smile coupled with half-lidded eyes, “works better in person too.”

This December I’m planning on letting you go, but it’s like the wind on a cold day—it sends a chill that makes my heart beat faster, the goosebumps and shivers part of that exhilaration.

Think of it like this—I take off on long runs and I still come back to the place we met, replaying memories like old film reels in my head. They’re already tinged with sepia, one year ago and it feels like forever.

Do you play them back, too? Do you ever miss the way we used to make each other laugh? Do you miss us?
Because lately all I do is think about where I was a year ago, meeting you for the first time and making you laugh, and talking so fast that we ran out of breath.

I miss you this December.
And I don’t want to miss you. Leaving has become less of a distant daydream and more of a reality, and the only certain thing now is that neither of us will be where we are now. The new year will separate us, finally sever that last thread linking us together. And I don’t want to hurt.

I don’t want to miss you like this. Like late night poetry, and the dizziness of a blow to the head whenever you walk by without a glance.  I don’t want to be the girl who can’t let go of something she lost a long time ago, or begrudge you any happiness you might find.
I don’t want to miss you like a weight on my chest, like a physical thing resting behind my eyes, watching you as though from far away, watching you recede  like my hometown in my rearview mirror.

This December I am letting you go, I tell myself. I cloak myself in ‘I don’t care,’ put up shields of nonchalance and make excuses about work like I can’t be bothered. This December I want to be better.

And maybe one day I will forget about you, like I forgot the first boy I fell in love with. Maybe one day it won’t hurt to see you, like claws raking across my chest. Maybe I’ll get to a place where I’m okay with you walking out of my life. Maybe I’ll be okay.

But what if I don’t want to let you go? What if the idea of forgetting you fills me with incredible remorse? What if I’m tired of breaking my own heart?
What if I’m tired of the pressure of plans and scraping my heart out, of replaying old memories and telling myself I can’t want you anymore?

What if I’m tired of just okay?

What if this December, I’m just yours?

—  ‘December’
Dear 2017 me,

You are still a blank slate, a collection of days not yet trodden, so let’s make it right this time. Learn to cherish each moments. Take time to breathe and look at the things around you. Appreciate. Appreciate. Appreciate. Be grateful. You are more now than you are 5 or 10 years ago. Heck, you are more than now than I am. So please please, don’t hurry in life. Keep your footsteps steady, you may find one day that you seem to be moving slowly, and that’s okay, as long as you keep moving forward. You may stumble and fall along the way, and that’s alright too, I have so much bruises and scars already on my knees and heart, and every time I still try to get back up again. Sometimes I had stayed too long on the ground, and I want to tell you that it’s alright too. Take your time this coming year please. Appreciate life. No rushing forward. Forward is forward. One step is still a step as long as you keep your eyes on your goal. Create goals. Choose happiness. Make happiness one of your goals. And I know you still have that inner compass in you, that inner knowing that makes you know which path to take. Listen to it. Always. It never fails.

And when things get hard and to much to bear, always look and ask the help from Above. Hell, seek Him even on the greatest moments of your life, or even on the most mundane periods of your life. Seek Him at all time. If there’s anything I have learned this year and that I will want you to remember, it is that we have a good good Father in Him. Remember where your help comes from. Pray. Whether you’re happy or not, because He always listens, every time.

And please, please know that I am here for you, your past selves, all of us, an accumulation and amalgam of years and experiences, a collection of moments and little joys and sadness, we’re here and we’re still here, making up who you are today, and who you will be this 2017.

And above all, be brave. I know you can do this. I believe in you.
— 

Wishing you the best in life and love and everything else that your heart desires,
2016 me

P.S. Keep your brain and heart connected at the same time. All the time. It’s hard, I know. But those two work wonders together, and not apart.

P.S.2. And really, I think 2015 and 2013 us had messed us up more grand time! 😉

- cynthia go // Dear 2017 me

What Your Fave BNHA Character Says About You:

I got quite some asks a while ago about “What does my fave say about me???” and I wanna answer all of them and also no new chapter which is crushing:

Class 1-A: Alphabetized

Aoyama Yuuga: you have horrible self-esteem issues and cover it up by attracting attention to yourself because you want the attention but have absolutely no idea what to do with it once you have it

Ashido Mina: a loud passionate person with a fondness for dress-up (everyday wear or costumes, it doesn’t matter) and people are shocked to find out your level of nerdiness because like… “you don’t look like a nerd…”

Bakugou Katsuki: a spitfire on the inside and sometimes on the outside. You spicy af and people tell you to tone it down. Was a genius in middle school but then found out about everyone else catching up. Has a SUPER fear of failure.

Hagakure Tooru: A cute little flower who blends into the background but never fear, all that gossip is here! People forget you a lot, but you’re used to it. Gotta keep that positive attitude!!!!

Iida Tenya: People tell you you’re weird a lot and they also tell you you’re annoying but you’re just trying to help. Smart af when it comes to what you know, but pretty clueless otherwise.

Jirou Kyouka: You have that one piece of clothing you love dearly and have owned for years and people are shocked to see you whenever you’re not wearing it. Actual music hoe. *takes out one earbud* whut

Kaminari Denki: Admit it you’re an irl troll face but deep down you’re actually the rarest of pepes. Just wants to be loved by friends but you also want a date to prom so jokingly-for-real ask people out on dates. It hasn’t really worked.

Kirishima Eijirou: You love The Gays™ or are irl gay yourself. You’re an actual cinnamon roll but you’re hella burnt on the inside so you’ve got a spine of steel. You love your friends and aren’t afraid to say it. HUGS FOR EVERYONE

Kouda Kouji: You little animal lover you~ <3 ! Shy and sweet, people tell you that you don’t talk much but you’re just anxious. Will talk about your passions until you pass out but if it’s in front of strangers then NO THANKS

Midoriya Izuku: Actual cinnamon roll just trying your best, you’re smart with what you’re passionate about but that also makes you a giant nerd. You have that one weird little quirk that nobody understands so you hide it a lot. 

Mineta Minoru: You’re goofy and the squad clown but also naive af. Might not be noticeable on the outside but UR A SINNER HARRY. You read way too much fanfiction because actual porn feels weird/ is too much

Ojiro Mashirao: You like to stick to the background but you also want people to notice when you’ve achieved something so you’re stuck in this cycle of “I want this to look good but also original but not too weird but also cool but also…”

Satou Rikkidou: Your resting bitch face almost has yourself fooled but there’s nothing that can comfort you like food and your best bro can. Is really good at cooking. Part of the “Support Everyone But Forgets Yourself” Squad.

Sero Hanta: You come off as harmless but deep down you’re a disgusting memer waiting for the perfect moment to pun and meme. Your health is important, look at this article you printed off just for your friends’ cringe

Shouji Mezou: You’re quiet at first but hella observant so you can tell the moment to open up and let people see how harmless you are on the inside. Gentle soul who only want the best for others. Will kill/die to protect others.

Todoroki Shouto: You’ve been deeply hurt by someone you looked up to and you know you’re still messed up. You’re trying to grow away from the pain but it’s hard. A little wrapped up in your head, you want to love others again.

Tokoyami Fumikage: You know every word to “Welcome to the Black Parade”. You like really cool, dark and edgy things so your inner emo is Strong™. People tell you that you need to cool your chill and warm up. flip them the bird.

Tsuyu Asui: IRL perfect friend, you are the mom friend/ big sis friend of the group who makes sure everyone stays together and doesn’t do stupid shit. At least, doesn’t do stupid shit without you. Pokèmon was a lifestyle, once.

Uraraka Ochako: Looks innocent on the outside but will punch a guy if they step over that very clear line. Friends and family are to be protected at all costs. You’re so cheap, people laugh but in reality you’re scared to spend money. 

Yaoyorozu Momo: Smart af and pretty too, you’re so used to things coming easily to you that you panic as soon as something seems hard. In group projects you’re the one that does 95% of the work. You’re (kinda) ok with this.

Alright, I covered Class 1-A first, but if your fave isn’t on this list, or you wanna look up your other faves, I left it all under the cut!

BONUS:

All Might/ Toshinori Yagi: Actual cinnamon roll trying their best to be a good guardian and lead those who are lost. Is the actual biggest dork around. Tries to be cool but simply… isn’t. We love you anyways. Pls take care of yourself too.

Eraserhead/ Aizawa Shouta: you’re extra salty in need of a nap and still care about everyone around you but still like to fuck with them to show you care. Is a cat person and feels like you can only get along with other cat people.

Keep reading

|| The only thing you ever had to do || A Zimbits ficlet || Inspired By ||

Jack comes home late. He knows it’s late. The sun dropped far too long ago and the headlights of his car stretched on and on down the empty streets on his way home. He’s bone weary, and his eyelids are so heavy he’s got them shut in long blinks almost as much as they’re actually open.

The key in the lock sounds loud in the stillness and it grates on his nerves, frayed to the end after days and days and weeks and weeks of grueling practices, and team meetings, and not nearly enough time home.

The kitchen light is on when Jack steps into the hallway and Jack has one thrilling moment of hopeful giddiness before he takes another step and sees it’s empty. No Bitty.

Jack sighs out and heads to the kitchen anyway. There’s a new post-it on the fridge. Dinner in the fridge, honey. A little drawing of a quiche. Jack touches the note but he doesn’t smile. As much as he loves them, the fridge has been cluttered with far too many of late, and that’s on him.

His job, his choices. Jack is the one missing his life with Bitty. Missing Bitty. They live together and he goddamn misses his boyfriend.

It’s not enough to sleep curled around him and share a quite conversation in the morning when they wake up together, Jack for his run and Bitty to the bakery. A kiss or two and maybe another conversation in the kitchen over breakfast after Jack’s run if it’s Bitty’s day off.

Jack feels that him and Bitty are living in an in-between state, a state nothing more than existence, where they aren’t getting any further in their relationship.

He wants things to change but he can’t find the time. There is no time.

He doesn’t eat the dinner. He stayed out late enough he had to get something himself before his stomach ate itself after such a tiring day. He drinks three full glasses of water to try and stave off the persistent urge to cry, that ball of feeling in his throat.

He’s scared tonight. To go into their bedroom, and see Bitty, laying there, arm curled to Jack’s side of the bed, facing the door. Will he wake up when Jack starts moving around the room? He does sometimes, and Jack gets to kiss him for a bit and rub big circles on his back until they both succumb to sleep. Jack sometimes fears that Bitty doesn’t remember those moments. Woken from a dream to slip back into one minutes later. Maybe he confuses the middle bit of awakeness for another dream. Jack hopes Bitty’s dreams are as sweet as those moments. He hopes dream Jack tells him he loves him just as much.

He hopes dream Jack treats Bitty better. That they spend entire days with each other, doing nothing, doing everything.

Jack hasn’t even taken his bag off yet. The weight of it is apt at the moment.

“Sweetheart? Is everything all right?”

Jack startles at Bitty’s soft voice. He brings a hand up to his face to check. Oh. He doesn’t turn around.

“Jack?” Bitty’s footsteps tread closer to Jack across the tiles. He halts close enough that Jack can feel his bed-warmed heat stretching out across his back.

Jack doesn’t want to turn around. He doesn’t want to speak. He wants Bitty to go back to bed and not see him like this.

Bitty knows him well though, because really, Jack is craving something different.

Bitty pulls the strap of his bag off slowly and it thunks down on the ground. Jack’s hands are shaking. Bitty steps up behind Jack and presses them flush together, Bitty’s front along Jack’s back. He reaches his hands to Jack’s and threads their fingers together. Jack whimpers. Bitty shushes him gently, then moves their entwined hands around so they’re crossing over Jack’s belly.

Jack drops his head.

Bitty holds him for endless moments and Jack breathes in like he can subsume Bitty’s warmth and kindness and courage.

Bitty waits for Jack to be ready, like always.

Jack runs the words over so many times in his head, that when he actually speaks them, there was no conscious thought to do so.

“Do I make you happy, Bits?”

Bitty continues to rub little circles onto the back of Jack’s hands, at the base of his thumb, stroke up and down his pointer fingers, tell him he’s there with the simplest of gestures.

Jack and Bitty used to have a lot of these moments, early in their relationship. The quiet seriousness of a conversation in the dark. A space where nothing was off limits and judgement wasn’t conceptualised and trust was implicit.

Bitty moves his hands, unlocks them from Jack’s, and turns him around.

Jack’s hands fall loosely to Bitty’s hips, and Bitty holds onto his biceps.

Bitty looks up at him, Jack can feel it even though he’s looking over Bitty’s shoulder. Bitty waits for him again, for Jack to decide it’s okay, he’s okay. He looks into Bitty’s face.

Bitty reaches up and wipes off wetness from Jack’s cheeks.

“Jack. The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day.”