it was two years ago and I still remember how nervous I was

Quotes from Harry Styles’ Interview

Writing for his album

“I started the album end of Feb last year for about three weeks and then had to stop for about 5 months when I went to do a movie. I came back to it in July and finished writing it in December. For a while before all I thought about it was stressing about what it was going to be. It gave me a chance to completely step away from it for a bit and have a real break. By the end of the movie, because we were swimming so much I just wanted to write songs…I think we wrote about 70 songs - we did 50 songs and ideas in Jamaica and that’s including like little ideas. Well full songs, I say there are 30 songs probably. One of the songs on the album, I wrote a few years ago.”

On his album

“I was with the guys who I was writing it with and we just wanted to make what we wanted to listen to and that has been the most fun part for me about making the whole album. In the least weird way possible, it’s my favourite album to listen to at the moment… I hope we did a good job but I really like the album so I hope people like it. I think if you put out something that you don’t stand behind and really love, then if it doesn’t go well then you could regret not doing what you wanted to do. Whereas if nothing happens with it, I love it you know so I think that’s what you should do. I think that’s been my favourite part to the overall thing is listening to the album and making all the changes – it has been fun to watch over it all.”

Writing in Jamaica

“I just wanted to not be somewhere that I’d get distracted. It was 360 of writing, you’d go home for dinner, write at the house then go back to the studio. I liked being away from everything and doing it like that.”

About his debut single

“It’s a bit weird, I feel like I’ve been hibernating for so long now and you hear it in the safety of the studio and now it’s time to give birth … it’s the song (debut single) I’m most proud of writing.”

About making it on his own

“I’ve been hibernating trying to get it all ready, that’s been fun, but I like this bit as well. I think it’s gonna be fun, it’s gonna be good. It’s not like I’m travelling on my own now, I have a band and everything and they’re amazing.”

Ed Sheeran

“I played him (Sheeran) a few songs after the album was finished. He didn’t say that he didn’t like any, but he did like one song that isn’t on the album. So I did have a bit of a minute of like hmmm no but…”

On Adele

“I’ve spoken to her a little bit, she knows one of the guys that I wrote it with (his music) a lot. But I don’t think so much advice, I just like how she does stuff. I think she leads by example, she’s the biggest, she’s amazing, she’s the best so she should be the biggest. The thing with her is she’s a different thing, she’s just good at it, I like how she does everything, it looks very nice. For my 21st she gave me one of her albums 21 and said, ‘I did some pretty cool stuff when I was 21, good luck’ and I was like, 'geez’.”

On Dating

“I haven’t dated in a long time really because I went away to do the movie then did the album so I haven’t in a while. I have a couple of candles left still though. 

Whether dating when famous is hard

“I don’t know, maybe. I feel like with all of the stuff how people date now, with all online stuff, I feel like you can do that (Google) with anyone really if you’re looking at someone’s profile before seeing them. It’s kinda the same… No, I used to (research dates), then I said I’m not going to do that anymore, it’s impossible to go in without a perception of someone and you’ve never met them and I started feeling like that was wrong and weird. I think I snore, and also I quite like routine, so I don’t know if I’m ­incredibly spontaneous.”

Cutting his hair for Dunkirk

“I felt very naked for a while. I was like yeah, I’ve gotta shave my hair off. It wasn’t a hard decision, it got made into a wig.”

Why he rarely tweets

“I don’t like saying something for the sake of it.”

Life at home and work

“The first time I went home not wearing trainers, I was in a pair of boots. Someone said, ‘What the bloody hell are they?’ I like to separate working and being at home with family.”

Staying grounded

“It’s easier in the way that I like to separate stuff from working and being at home with family and stuff. When you separate it it’s easier to see it for what it is. When you let it become everything and that’s your whole life, then it’s easy to get a bit lost in it. I’m lucky, I have amazing friends and my family’s amazing so I think they make it easier to keep the separation between the two which makes it easier for me.”

Being nervous about playing his music to others

“I think it’s nerve-racking in that I’ve only played it to like 10 people in a room. I try and not be there if I’m playing it…”

His mother and step-father’s reactions to the album

“I played the album to them the first time and there’s one song that’s got a vocal effect on it, the whole album finished then my stepdad said: ‘I’ve one question, where did you get the duck from, how did you get a duck in the studio?’ I was like: ‘That was me, thanks’. My Mum liked it which was handy. She cried a couple of times which was good, I think that was good.”

Musical Influences

“I think it’s hard to not have influencers from what you grew up listening on. I think everyone reacts differently to different types of music. I had a good range between my mum and dad… my dad listened to Fleetwood, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Queen. My mum was like Norah Jones and Savage Garden. There are a lot of melodies there.”

Being starstruck by other celebrities

“I remember the first time we went to an awards show in the US, we met Will Smith. It was a brief meeting – he was nice and very tall.”

Addressing the rumour about getting a sheep placenta facial

“No I’ve never had a sheep placenta facial.”

Rumours about Hobama

“I’m not allowed to talk about that.”

Rumour on taking his dates on helicopter rides

“No I’ve never done that,” Harry says, with Grimmy responding: “Not even with Barack?”

“No,“ Harry says. “It was his helicopter, haha.”

Talking about Chris Martin

“He’s lovely isn’t he? He is good at telling you to take care of yourself. I think he makes sure you are alright and is very zen. I think he is a pretty wonderful man.”

On Ronnie Wood

“Big fan, I love Ronnie Wood – I think I met him at a dinner party a few years ago and went to a couple of Stones shows…I think he is the nicest.”

Interviewing Paul McCartney for his Another Man issue

“It was amazing – his voice sounds like a song.”

Loving scented candles

“I mean I think everyone loves scented candles. But I usually take one from home if I’m travelling.”

About sprouts being the new kale

“I went two days ago. I got some spinach, eggs, OJ, milk, turkey and some brussels sprouts. Hmm what else did I buy…oh some Crème Eggs. I like putting sprouts in a curry and I like sauteing them. I think they are going to be the new kale. I met [someone] and I asked her what she did and she said ‘I’m the PR lady for Kale’ and I was like ‘good job then.”

Talking about his four nipples

“Still got them, managed to keep them. Maybe I just hide them in limited edition albums, like golden tickets. I’ll hold onto them.”

Best trait

“Best trait I don’t know, it’s weird to pick your best, shall we go with the nipples thing.”

On where not to ask him for a selfie

“I think in toilets is the weirdest one. It’s happened a couple of times… When someone tries to shake your hand right after having a wee, ‘I might wash my hands first’.”

About Liam’s son and being a potential godfather

“I spoke to Liam and he’s loving it. He said it’s going really well and everyone’s great. So I’m very happy for him. I think it’s a roll of the dice, there are a lot of people Liam has in mind. I’m not going to add any extra pressure. If it came my way I would be honoured.”

Nine Months - Harry Styles Imagine

No piece of mine has never had as much interest surrounding it as this one has, so thank you for expressing your excitement to me. I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait. (Protip: if you’re reading on mobile, ditch the app and read on Safari or Chrome instead, as the app is prone to close on longer pieces of text).

This one is dedicated to @permanentcross, simply because she’s the best. E has listened to me ramble on and on about this story for longer than anyone should have to. She’s the inspiration behind many things beneath the cut, all of which I will leave up to your own interpretation. 

Without further adieu, I present you with Nine Months…

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Come Back to Me (Part Five)

Fandom: Marvel
Ship: Peter Parker x Reader
Requested: Yes
Genre: Kinda fluff?? More neutral
Warnings: Mentions of small injuries and claustrophobia 
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten

Originally posted by vintagejosh

“Hey,” you heard a soft voice say from behind you, and you felt a light touch on your back along with it. You turned your head to see Peter moving to lean against the wall of lockers. His hand slipped from your back, and you instantly missed the touch.

“Hey,” you smiled at him, turning back to your locker to stuff your books inside. “What’s up?”

“How are you doing?” He asked quietly, leaning his head closer to you as he leaned to his side and crossed his arms.

“I’m okay, Pete,” you laughed, shutting your locker and turning to lean against it as well. “They’re still yellow, but they don’t hurt as badly as they did before.”

Since the incident at the convenience store two weeks ago, Peter had been on your back at nearly all hours of the day. When he came over at night, he would be the one taking care of you. He would order you to lay flat on your stomach before always asking if he could lift up your shirt, and when you always responded with a ‘yes’, he would inspect the bruises and cuts. 

You would laughed, trying to hide your pain, as he prodded your back lightly, carefully, asking where it hurt the worst. He would then run to your kitchen, grabbing dish towels and running the sink over them. He’d come back and tell you to stay still as you felt the cold compresses being being pressed to your back. When he would take the compresses off after about an hour of him watching you to make sure you weren’t in any pain, he would take the towels off and then put Neosporin over the small cuts that littered your back.

With Peter as a distraction, you tried not to dwell on what happened that night. If it popped into your mind, you would simply feel a shiver run up your spine at the memory of being trapped under the shelves. But you were fine. You had gotten over it. You were fine.

“But what about the cuts?” Peter frowned at your response, still not liking to hear you were in pain.

“They’re healed, Peter. You looked at them last night and saw exactly that. Now come on,” you pushed off from the lockers and grabbed his arm, dragging him to follow you as you walked down the hallway to the next class you both shared.

“I know, but-”

“No buts! I’m fine. Stop worrying,” you said, interrupting him, still holding onto his arm as he walked next to you. 

“I told you. I always worry about you,” he muttered, looking down at his feet. Your breath hitched as you remember him saying the exact same words to you a few weeks back. A smile graced your face the same it did when he first said it, and you looked over at him to see him biting his lip, still staring at the ground.

God, you loved him, you thought. You stopped walking, dropping his arm from your grip. You took in a heavy breath of air, staring blankly in front of you with wide eyes. 

Oh my god. You loved him. You loved your best friend. 

Not only that. You were in love with him.

You weren’t sure how you didn’t realize it sooner. You knew you liked him, of course, you had known for years. But love. That wasn’t something that had even crossed your mind. And now that it had, it all became clear. You couldn’t have felt the way you did about him for so long to have it not become love.

How were you expected to hide this from him now?

“(Y/N)? Hey, (Y/N)? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Peter hurried to stand in front of you, holding both your shoulders with his hands. “(Y/N)?”

“I, uh,” you stuttered, staring at his worried expression.

The only thing you could think was, You loved him. It bombarded your thoughts, and you couldn’t manage to think of anything else. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him. 

“(Y/N), talk to me. What’s wrong?” Peter brought his hands up to rest lightly on your cheeks. The feeling of his skin against yours broke you out of your thoughts, and you regained focus on his face. You noticed his furrowed eyebrows and worried eyes, but the only think you could completely concentrate on now was the fact that his hands were holding your face, softly and gently as though he was afraid you would shatter into a million pieces under his fingertips.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you managed, still staring into his worried eyes. “Just- a headache, that’s all. I’m okay,” you gave him a smile that you weren’t sure how you forced onto your face. 

“Are you sure?” He whispered, hands dropping from your cheeks and shoving them into his pockets. He stood with an awkward stance, now, his eyes darting from your multiple times in only a few seconds.

“I’m sure,” you said, avoiding his eyes as much as he was avoiding yours. “Come on before we’re late,” you offered a small smile, and he gave you a nervous one in reply. 

“Okay,” he said, moving to your side again. 

You didn’t grab his arm this time. The two of you walked to class in silence, not looking into each other’s eyes, but you still snuck a few glances at him. You thought you noticed him sneak a few glances at you as well, but you ignored it.

You breathed in and out heavily, trying to keep your loud thoughts from creeping back in. It didn’t work.

You loved him. You loved him. You loved him.

**************************
I’m not exactly sure if I’m feeling this one, but I’ve got a few more ideas if you guys would want more parts. Please let me know what you think of this part, feedback is always greatly appreciated, and feel free to tell me if you guys want another part! Requests are open :)

~e

aquiver | 04

aquiver (adj.) [uh-kwiv-er] in a state of trepidation or vibrant agitation; trembling; quivering

pairing: min yoongi x reader
genre/warnings: mentions of death, slight angst, mentions or mature themes, fluff
words: 10,495
summary: Yoongi can’t remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’, and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to provide hand jobs for a living…
note. inspired by the novella ‘The Grownup’ by Gillian Flynn, literally just the main character’s past occupation haha

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 

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our little family pt.5 | park jimin

Originally posted by jinsthighs

Pairing: Father! Jimin + Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst + parent au

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: You were just a pre-school teacher, a simple dream that came true as you always adored children. But what you didn’t know, was how one child and her very special father would change you dream forever.

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5

AN: SO I though this was going to be the last part BUT it’s not, I’m so sorry but the next part definitely will and again I’m so sorry for the wait, things had been a little rough at school with exams and just life *ugh* but I hope you enjoy this!

“Hey, what’s wrong man?” Taehyung asked worriedly, as Jimin sat down in front of him, his head buried in his hands as he let out a long sigh.

It had been a couple days since he’d last seen you, and honestly it was destroying him. Every day he’d go to Jieun’s preschool, expecting to see you there, but you weren’t.

But in all honesty, even if you were, he didn’t know what he’d do. What would he say to you after what happened? Would he act like it never happened? Would he bring it up? Would you bring it up?

“I–” he started before grumbling, “I just don’t know what to do Taehyung-ah.”

Prying Jimin’s hands away from his face, Taehyung looked at the boy and teased, “It’d be easier for me to help if you told me what’s actually going on.”

Jimin gave him a look, before sighing again and spilling out everything that happened in the last 3 weeks. From the day he met you,m to the club incident and to last Friday, to where Jimin had messed up big time.

“So you were about to kiss her and then you just..didn’t?” Taehyung asked in disbelief, “Are you freaking crazy? Why?!

"I–” Jimin exasperated before taking a breath, “I couldn’t do that to her.”

He stirred the small spoon he held in his coffee cup as he continued, “I didn’t want to because she deserves someone much more than me. She doesn’t deserve to be held back with someone who’s a single father and–”

“Did she say that?” Taehyung interrupted softly making Jimin look up at him with widened eyes.

“Did she say she didn’t want to be with you? Because I think it’s up to her whether she thinks you’re deserving or not and in all honesty man? You’re hell of a good guy.” Taehyung finished, with a proud smile on his face.

“Just look at the way you raised Jieun. She’s one of the most beautiful kids I know and the sweetest too? Why? Because of you.” Taehyung said softly, making Jimin chuckle, “Even after Herim left you, you still stayed strong. Why wouldn’t she deserve you?”

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It’s A Comfort Thing

Author: @sincerelystiles
Pairing: Dylan x Reader
Word Count: 3,738

Warnings: nsfw aT ALL THIS IS SO SINFUL I’M NOT EVEN SORRY

A/N: i was gonna keep this fluffy, but we all know it’s pretty impossible for me to not write sin for dylan, so here you go!! also i apologise for how dirty this got. fUCK. and thanks to my bby @sabrinas-wolves for helping me with this and the puthey… and this is dylan pov

listen to this


Originally posted by arkhamcutie


my baby: text me when you’re on your way home so i can start dinner xo

dyl pickle: will do xx

I shove my phone back into my pocket with a smile and rub my hands together eagerly. It had been five months since I’d been home, which also meant five long, agonisingly lonely months since I last saw Y/N. Admittedly, I’d much rather be home with her right now, either fucking the shit out of her, or holding her close to my chest as I wash her hair in the bath tub. She always loved corny shit like that. But unfortunately, I wasn’t. I was in my dressing room, waiting with T-Pose to be interviewed with Ellen DeGeneres.

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FUTURE HEARTS | PT.1 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | pt6 | (ongoing)

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: smut, angst, punk!jungkook

word Count: 14,241

description: It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook. 

note: inspired by the anime/manga “Nana”

cr.


The icy breeze whipped across your face as you started your approach towards the building. The speed of your heart was increasing with every step, your legs began to weigh you down like lead, and your breathing became harsh and ragged. Nerves were infecting your body, intensifying as you finally reached the automatic doors. You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath before finally stepping forward. The doors opened for you, and the bustling Busan train station was revealed.

Noises echoed in every direction, you watched as people quickly rushed towards their trains, and you suddenly figured that you should do the same. You shook away your wonder as you started to go through bag check, but your eyes still managed to drift around the building that you remembered all too well.

It was quieter back then, or maybe it wasn’t. You might’ve just been so numbed by all of the pain you were feeling that you couldn’t sense anything else. Your eyes glided across the path that had been etched into your mind for the past year and a half.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I love you so much. I really fucking do.”

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I’ve Always Been Home

I Have Loved You Since One Shots: I’ve Always Been Home (Part 1 of 2)

Masterlist

*if you’d like to listen to some tunes during this, i would just recommend the wreck of our hearts by sleeping wolf.. over and over again!!*

There was a pounding ache in your head. It felt like a million pieces of your brain shattering to the ground, falling apart into almost nothing. Your throat felt dry and with the little strength within you, you swallowed the dry spit in your mouth.

Your vision was blurred and your memories felt cluttered – one here and another there. The lights were bright in the room, too bright. The ceiling was staring straight down at you. There were all these wires tangled around you, you felt paralyzed.

What happened?

Keep reading

Made of skin and bones

(not my gifs!)

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics, obeying the alpha? 

Summary: Due to the premature death of the King of your clan, his son, the alpha James Barnes, must assume his destiny and lead his people. As the tradition commands, he must choose some worthy omegas to make their his wives and with which he will ensure the subsistence of your clan. All the omega women are obliged to appear before their king, including you. Luckily for you, you would never be chosen… right?


1. Wolves

Your feet barely touch the grass while you run through the wet fields breaking the silence with your heavy breath. Your lungs hurt because of the effort and the moon shines upon you enlightning your path even if you don’t need it to guide your steps, you know those woods better than the palm of your hand so you don’t have any trouble in to sorting the rocks and the fallen trees.

Your legs threathen to give up in any moment and you slow down your race, taking deep breaths when you spot a light at the end of the path. You stop completely, watching carefully where do you step, not wanting to make a sound or break a futile twig that gives you away. Reaching the rustic houses you make your way through the large orchads until a small house that you know too well. 

Knocking two times on the wooden door you start to get nervous when you don’t hear a sound inside the house. Nervous you look around searching for wondering eyes that could reveal your position. You shouldn’t be here… if someone catches you…

- Y/N?? - a red head woman, Natasha, opens the window on a burst

- SHHH! - you hush her - Let me in - jumping over the ledge you enter in her home

Behind you, Nat closes the small door on a hurry knowing very well that you are making something really dangerous coming to his clan. Your clan and hers are faced since the two leading alphas get in to a bloody fight a lot of years ago. It has been so long since that fight that no one remembers anymore why you are still vexed, the king alphas had changed many times since then but the hate remains. 

- What are you doing here? - you best friend wrap you with her arms tighly, it has been nearly a month since the last time you saw her

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Hiraeth (M) | Pt.1

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.

Originally posted by jungkooz

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 | pt.5 | pt.6 | pt.7 | pt.8 | pt.9 | pt.10 | pt.11 | pt.12pt.13 | pt.14

Words: 12,957.

Genre: Zombie apocalypse au, smut, fluff, angst.

Summary: “I guess we’re not so different after all, huh? Brains, brawns – what does it matter when we’re all just scared of being left alone and stupidly hopeful?”

A/N: Inspired by the wonderful game The Last of Us.

Keep reading

Becoming Queer

When I was 8 I was obsessed with Disney’s Aladdin. Not just the original movie, but both of it’s poorly made sequels too. I watched them everyday after school while I drew pictures in our basement TV room, simultaneously fixated on their adventures and creating my own on paper.

I remember being absolutely in awe of how handsome Aladdin was, but also of the beauty of Princess Jasmine. They were the most attractive people I could ever imagine existing.

When I was 10 my mom gave me an American Girl book all about puberty and the female body. I only read through the whole thing once, but I left it close to my bed because of the one page I looked at nearly everyday.

It was one of the sections of the book on bodily changes throughout puberty– body hair, periods, etc. At the bottom of was a picture of several girls in front of a mirror, completely naked, to illustrate the different sizes and shapes of breasts. I was absolutely fascinated by these girls: the soft curves of their hips, their round and full breasts, the way their thighs came together. Despite their cartoonish nature, this was the closest I’d come to seeing a grown girl’s body. It was foreign and beautiful to me.

Somehow, I knew this wasn’t normal, so I always hid the book after I was done in case mom asked why I still had it.

When I was 12 I found my self distracted in classroom discussion circles looking at girls chests and lips and thighs. Every time I caught myself I’d immediately look down at my lap and blush. I’d learned by now that it wasn’t normal for girls to look at other girls like that, what it meant to be gay. But I’d eventually find my eyes wandering again, my thoughts focused on how beautiful one of my female classmates was.

I remember walking down the hallway one day mentally reciting “you can’t be a lesbian, you like boys… every girl must look at each other like this.”

When I was 13 one of the girls that I clung to during PE (because they were just as repulsed by physical exertion as I was) told us she was bisexual. This was the first time I’d been told someone could be attracted to boys and girls at the same time. It was confusing and enlightening at the same time.

I remember she put her arms around my shoulders once, during badminton week, her face inches from mine. It made me nervous, but in a way that I’d never felt before. My stomach had dropped, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like the fear I’d felt from scary movies and my dad yelling at me, but it wasn’t quite like when I felt exhilarated from riding a rollercoaster or binging on sugar with my friends… it was something in between, and entirely new.

I’d told my mom about it and she immediately wanted to call the principal and make sure the girl didn’t touch me like that again. That scared me, her reacting like that. I started acting repulsed by the girl afterwards, telling my friends she had flirted with me even though I wasn’t entirely sure she had, how weird it was and how weird she was.

Looking back, I probably wish that she had been flirting with me.

When I was 14 I was acquainted with the first queer couple I’d ever met. They were in theatre with me, and I’d been wanting them to start dating for months. At this point I’d stopped acting weirded out by gay people and claiming that bisexual people were “selfish and should just pick a side already.” I openly showed my support for gay people, citing my theatre friends of examples of how “normal” they could be.

I walked in on the couple in the dressing room one rehearsal, shocked to see them making out. I stood in the doorway a moment, then walked out without either of them seeing me.

I thought about their kiss for the whole day, wondering how their relationship worked, what it was like to date someone of the same gender as you. I was dating a boy at the time, my first boyfriend and the one that would create fear and an inability to trust for my entire high school career when he started abusing me. I wondered if this couple’s relationship could be anything like ours.

When I was 15 I joined Tumblr. I’d just moved from Michigan to Alabama, had my heart broken by my abusive boyfriend furthering the pain he was inflicting by cheating on me, and was just beginning to realize that I had an eating disorder with no idea how to feel about it or whether or not I wanted it to go away.Tumblr became a place for me to escape all this into “fandoms” and “fitblrs” and personal posts from strangers I didn’t know but whose lives intrigued me. It was on Tumblr that I first encountered the word “pansexual.” I was 16.

I was intrigued and slightly obsessed with the concept of it, pansexuality. I’d only just begun to learn about transgender and heard rumors of other genders outside of men and women, and being attracted to all of them or being “genderblind” seemed impossible, but incredible. I spent months randomly researching sexual orientation and transgender people before finally adopting the term as my own.

Though, it was only in my head that I claimed pansexuality as my own. I didn’t want to tell anyone… not because I was ashamed so much, I’d forgotten that stigma several years ago, but more because I was afraid that I only wanted to be pansexual, not that I actually was.

After all, if only ever been in relationships with boys at that point. How could I know if I was actually attracted to other genders if I’d never dated them?

When I was 17 I got my first crush on a girl. I didn’t recognize that that was my motive at the time, but I was constantly staring at her in the two classes we shared, payed special attention when she spoke, and the day she announced that she had a Tumblr I made it my goal to be a part of her life.

By winter we were best friends. By summer I’d begun to realize the extent of my feelings for her. The first time I got drunk at 19 I blurted out that I thought about making out with her all the time. I told her how I felt at 20, 3 years of pining later.

She told me she didn’t feel the same.

When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I binge watched all of Laci Green’s videos on YouTube, deciding that it was time I figured out how my body and how sex worked. Through her I found not only the courage to masturbate for the first time, but my first confrontation with “third genders.”

I obsessively studied nonbinary genders, claiming to just be interested in them, giving speeches and presentations on them for class, messaging nonbinary people to ask about their experiences. I came to accept that I identified with this term the summer of my sophomore year of college.

When I was 18 I also came out to my dad. I’d already come out to my close friends, sisters, and mother at this point– all giving me generally positive responses. This was not the case with my dad.

We were fighting in the kitchen, something that had become a regular thing since I’d started expressing my feminist and liberal beliefs. He was making homophobic comments and I guess I must of have been very clearly upset by this, because he asked, “do you have a problem with that?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, because I like girls, dad!”

My outburst led to two and a half years of him telling me that my identity was fake, a scheme to get attention, that all I believed was a result of my being brainwashed at college and my own self delusion. The full force my panic, bipolar disorder, and depression came out during this time. The first time I thought of killing myself was when he threatened to kick me out and cut me off from my sisters if I didn’t stop with this “feminazi LGBT bullshit.”

When I was 19 I started dating one of my best friend from high school– a boy, but pansexual like myself, I felt like this was the first queer relationship I’d been in.

He told me he didn’t want a monogamous relationship, that he identified as polyamorous– which I knew because this was one of the reasons his last relationships hadn’t worked out. Thinking I wouldn’t fall as desperately in love with him as I did, I agreed to an open relationship.

Two months into the relationship and much research and self reflection later, I’d come to accept that I was also polyamorous and I never wanted a monogamous relationship again.

When I was 20 a girl on Tumblr reblogged a set of selfies that I’d posted, exclaiming in the tags about how handsome I was. I took one look at her blog, saw the profile picture of her staring directly at the camera with intense blue eyes and an expression impossible to read, and immediately followed and messaged her my thanks.

We started messaging frequently, talking about such expansive and random things, things I’d never talked about with anyone. Soon we were messaging everyday and I began to realize how hard I was falling. I wanted her, I wanted her so badly.

I hadn’t had a crush on a girl that’d worked out in my favor and I was constantly pining for a girlfriend. I loved my boyfriend, I was still attracted to men and non-feminine genders, but I felt not only “too straight” to be queer at that point, but also like I was missing some sort of affection in my life that only a feminine partner could fill. And I was beginning to wonder if this girl was the person who could finally end my wanting.

The only problem with this girl was that she lived an ocean away from me, in Denmark to be specific. But my feelings became so strong that I couldn’t just be silent anymore: I told her I liked her.

She said she felt the same.

Today, March 2nd, 2017, Hayley Kiyoko released the music video for her single “Sleepover.” It wrecked me.

Hayley has become someone that I not only admire, but someone who makes me feel so validated in who I am. A mixed, Japanese American, queer girl in love with art and comfy clothing. Before Hayley, I’d never felt like there was anyone in the media who was even remotely like me. With great music and a connection I’d never felt in any other celebrity before, I became an avid fan. So naturally, when the video for “Sleepover” was released it only took me minutes to find it on YouTube and watch.

The music video was so much more than I could have anticipated, actualizing all my experiences as a queer feminine person, admiring from a far, living in my head with my fantasies and no hope of ever being able to experience them in reality. With this video I was thrown back into all the years I spent confused and afraid of how I felt and who I was, all the girls I wanted to be with but knew they couldn’t work out, or didn’t work out even when I tried. And as melancholy as these thoughts were at first, it pushed me to the realization:

I love who I’ve become. I love that I’m queer.

And despite how grueling the process of it all has been, I wouldn’t trade all that heartache for a normal life if I could. I wouldn’t give it all up to be the straight girl with no struggles or worries about who she loved as I once believed I would. Even with the pain that it had brought, becoming queer has made me the person I am today.

And I love that person, even if there are still rough edges to be smoothed, I am finally unafraid of who I am.

Tom Holland Imagine (prompt)

prompt: 54. “I think I forgot how to breathe.”

25. "Shut up and kiss me.”

request: Hello! Assuming that request are open- could you maybe do a tom imagine? Where the reader is Harrison’s little sister (by like 2 years?) and she’s always been that really dorky annoying younger sibling, and tom hasn’t seen her in awhile because of his career. But she visits harrison while they’re in Atlanta and she grew up rlly well (yanno what I mean?) and Tom is just ???? How ??? With a fluffy ending? It’s super cheesy but I’ve been thinking about this a lot haha

a/n: i merged two of the requests i had in my ask, so i hope this is okay. i’ve low key been day dreaming about this imagine for the past three days, like this is the dreeeeeam lol, hope you guys enjoy it! (also i hope you don’t mind there’s a tiny bit of smut at the end)

word count: 1483

masterlist: (x)

Originally posted by tomhollandisdaddy


Tapping your foot impatiently, you stood outside the house Tom and Harrison were renting in Atlanta while Tom worked. You heard muffled voices behind the other side of the door, feet shuffling along the floor as your older brother made his way to the entrance of the house. The door opened, Harrison stood smiling in the hallway, moving to the side to let you in. He hugged you tightly, then reached for your suitcases outside.

“Jesus Christ, how much did you bring?” Harrison noted your large amount of luggage. You shrugged.
“I need options,” you said simply. He laughed.
“I’ll take these upstairs. Go in the kitchen through the back, the others are in there.” You were nervous, about to enter a room full of strangers. You inhaled deeply, stepping into the kitchen as Harrison lugged your suitcases up the stairs.

“You must be Y/N!” Jacob said. You smiled at his welcome as he introduced you to his friends. “Tom’s actually on set at the moment, but you know him anyway. He’ll be back for dinner tonight. Laura’s gonna cook for us.” You’d known Tom for as long as you could remember, always having a tiny inappropriate crush on your brother’s best friend. You hadn’t seen him for months now he had a successful career under his belt, he was rarely ever home. It was Harrison’s idea that you came out to visit them, he felt guilty he’d been away and missed your birthday.

Jacob was friendly, already making you feel at ease. The others smiled at you, including you in their conversation. You took the kitchen stool in between Zendaya and a vacant one, where Harrison sat once he had finished with your bags.
“So guys,” Harrison piped up. “Obviously my sister is gonna be here for a couple of weeks, so you better treat her like family and make sure she’s happy all the time. She needs a lot of attention or she’ll start to get weird,” Harrison teased, poking your sides.
“A bit like you then,” Zendaya quipped, making everyone laugh.
“Why don’t we chill in the pool?” Laura suggested.

You were never one for dive-bombing and flipping into the water like Harrison was - you were more of a ‘floating on a lilo’ kind of girl. You’d had to buy a whole new wardrobe of bikinis and one pieces for your trip, since you’d filled out a little since your last holiday. You had your eyes shut underneath your sunglasses as you lay floating in the water, basking in the sunshine. The boys were playing with a ball on the other side of the pool, Zendaya was reading on a lounger and Laura was in the kitchen prepping dinner. You heard the faint clink of keys being dropped onto a table, followed by Tom’s voice, deeper since the last time you saw him, calling out as he entered the back garden. 

Woah,” he said quietly to himself, his eyes scanning the pool, pausing as his gaze reached you. You tilted your sunglasses so you could see him better, returning the smile he was giving you. You suddenly became very conscious of your bikini clad body as you noticed he was still staring. 

“Get in the pool!” Harrison shouted, diverting Tom’s eyes away from you. You lay back down, watching him discreetly as he pulled off his shirt, followed by his sweatpants, leaving him in the swim trunks he was already wearing. Your eyes scanned his chiseled abs, toned pecs and strong legs. He dived over your lilo, splashing you as he hit the water, making you squeal. He winked at you as he surfaced, swimming backwards towards your brother and Jacob, his eyes still on you. Jacob threw the ball, hitting the back of Tom’s head. You laughed, closing your eyes, returning back to your sunbathing.

Keep reading

CAMERA || Oh Sehun

Content: 9k graphic smut, exhibitonism, body worship, etc. ||  Gif source 

Cam!girl (noun) a model who performs through live webcam footage and do sexual things based on viewers request. 

Sehun cares about you more than you thought he would…


You have been sitting in front of your laptop to check at your bank account for a long time, but no matter how long you stayed there the amount of your money stored didn’t change at all. 

Keep reading

RIP To My Youth

and you could call this the funeral

My first Jughead imagine, this is part one, if you guys enjoy it I’ll keep it going. 

Pairing: Jughead x Reader 

Description: Jug and the reader have been best friends since they were kids, but lately, things have changed, Riverdale has changed, Jug has changed and Y/N thinks maybe it’s time she changed too. 

Warnings: ANGST ANGST SO MUCH ANGST YO (maybe a couple o swears)

Word count: 2088

Part 2https://thatsadbreakfastclub.tumblr.com/post/158505761114/rip-to-my-youth-pt-2



It was getting to the point where I was having internal battles with myself every night. ‘Y/N he’s working on the novel and the newspaper, of course, it’s going to be harder for him to spend time with you’ versus ‘he’s moved on, he’s closer with Betty now, he and Archie are closer too, you’ve lost him, you’re irrelevant’. These were the thoughts that had been consuming my brain for the past couple of weeks. Jug was my best friend, right? Maybe I should text him? Maybe not. I started playing with my pale grey cap, my nervous tick of sorts. Jug could always tell when I was nervous because I would fiddle with the cap “Y/N” he’d say “spill it, you can’t hide anything from me, I can read you like an open book”. Thinking about this little memory was bittersweet. How can someone who’s practically by your side every day suddenly just have no real interest in talking to you? Ever since the murder of Jason Blossom, it really feels like everything in Riverdale has changed.

I glanced at my clock perched on my bedside table, 7:45 pm sigh. Maybe doing some homework will take my mind off all this bullshit, who’s idea was it to put me in advanced algebra anyway? Oh, that’s right my father, who I really wish was here right now and not away on some business trip. Tonight would have to be a lonely one. That’s when I remembered I had Jug’s math textbook, there it was sitting on my desk. I flipped it open and sure enough on the bottom left-hand corner was a small ‘property of Jughead Jones’. Perfect I could use this as an excuse to text him. 

Hey Jug, I forgot I had your math textbook? Want me to come drop it over? The two-hour wait to get a reply just built up more and more anger inside of me Hey Y/N, I’m working on an article with Betty right now, could you drop it off to me in the newsroom in free period tomorrow? This was it, this was fucking it, oh I would take his textbook to him tomorrow and I would also confront him about this whole thing, that’s what I’d do straight up ask him why I was suddenly dead weight, I’ve had his guys back for so many years and now I’m just nothing, I won’t have it. Will do I sent back, cool calm and collected and then I was going to give him a piece of my mind tomorrow.

Getting ready for school was never a difficult task for me, I pretty much did the same thing everyday. My Y/H/C was tied into a ponytail with the front strands falling onto my face framing it. I put on my classic ripped boyfriend jeans and a black t-shirt, accompanied by my army jacket. To finish off my classic look I added my signature grey cap and put on my favourite dark grey lipstick. I wasn’t the girliest of girls, that was for sure, but everyone seemed to identify me by my style and in this I found comfort. After giving myself the once over in the mirror I grabbed Jug’s textbook from my desk, shoving it into my bag and I set off for school.

The day dragged on and on, I had a tonne of classes with Kevin and Ronnie today so it was nice to hang out with them for a change. This was of course until Kevin pulled the “I haven’t seen you and Jughead together in a while, what happened you two are usually joined at the hip?” line “You guys are my otp, I hope there’s no trouble in paradise” Veronica added. “Ronnie we’re not dating, why does everyone always think that and honestly, I don’t know, I guess he’s been too busy with this whole novel and newspaper thing to remember me as well” I replied giving my best interpretation of a fake smile. Veronica and Kevin gave me sympathetic looks. 

As the bell rang, signaling our release I was packing my things together when Veronica grabbed my arm. “Y/N you need to tell Jug how you feel, I don’t know if you’ve even admitted it to yourself yet but it’s pretty obvious you’re in love with him, I can see how much not seeing him is hurting you and I think it’s best if you face this head on” I was so taken aback by this, I mean for years I’ve always had people ask if Jug and I were dating but no one had been this blatant with me. Was she right?, No he’s my best friend, I couldn’t be in love with him no way. I let out an awkward laugh “I don’t love Jughead, we’re just friends” It came out so defensive that Veronica raised both her eyebrows and folded her arms “the fact that you’re being so defensive about this just further proves my point” She said in a sing-song voice. “I gotta go Ronnie” I replied standing up from my seat and walking out the classroom “I only say this cause’ I care” she yelled after me.  

Making my way towards the newsroom, I’d never felt so nervous in my life, like get a grip girlie it was just your friend, surely this whole not speaking to me thing was just, not even a big deal and I was hyping it all up. I was still going to have a go at him though because he was angry when Archie ditched him and now he’s okay with doing it to me? Not on my watch.

I had the math book in my hand as I was walking up to the door of the newsroom, I had my best ‘pissed off face’ going on I was ready.

I had my hand almost on the doorknob when I took a quick glance through the doors glass window. That was when my stomach fell, my jaw dropped and my heart involuntarily shattered. It was just a glimpse that’s all I could allow myself to watch, but inside that dusty old newsroom was one Jughead Jones kissing Elizabeth Cooper. The feelings hit me like a truck, and then everything went numb.

I didn’t know what to do so without giving any sign I was there I dropped the math book and ran, I ran out of the school I ran past pops and all the way home. By this time the tears were free falling, I couldn’t stop it and I didn’t care. Once I was in the safety of being inside my house with the door locked I gave in to my emotions and just slid down to the floor.

Wow, I felt so stupid and so naive, why didn’t I see this coming, it all made perfect sense now. I guess this was me also coming to terms with the fact that as usual Ronnie was right, I was painfully in love with Jug and now I was too late to ever do anything about it.

The more I sat there and thought about it the more I came to realise that this was my fault. I held Jug up to this crazy high standard and just assumed it would always be him and me at the end of the day. I had sacrificed so much to hang out with him, to keep my “image”, I avoided making too many other friends, I avoided parties, extracurricular activities you name it I wasn’t a part of it. Now it was all going to change, it had to change. Maybe this was the wake-up call I needed. I had to work on myself, be better, be stronger. Most of all this needed to happen because this meant I could quite literally not be around Jughead anymore, I think seeing or talking to him would make me cry, something the new me will NOT be doing.

I picked myself up off the floor and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. “Get a grip Y/N, ” I told myself staring into the mirror. It’s like as soon as I come to terms with the feelings I think I may have had for years, I have to immediately try to get rid of them. I think this was a coping mechanism for me, and I think the reason I’ve never let myself admit that I had feelings for him before was because I fear rejection so much so very much, and I had to do what I knew would keep him around and that was to continue to be his friend. Well, little girl it’s time to grow up.

And what’s the best way to look more mature and confident, change your style. From what I’ve witnessed from the media, what you wear can have a profound impact on how people view you. This is what I had to do first, get rid of the “old me” look. This meant bye grey cap, bye dark lipstick ( I mean what was I even trying to do with that? Look like a corpse?) (oh wow corpse jokes really funny, maybe a bit too real in light of recent circumstances.) And also a very big goodbye to my jeans and army jacket, that would have to go too.

Looking through my closet it was apparent I didn’t have much to work with, I would definitely have to go shopping this weekend, I’ll bring Ronnie and Kevin along, they know fashion and are probably more than willing to help me out. AH HUH eureka! The dress I’ve been looking for! About two months ago I bought this really nice burgundy skater dress that I was planning to wear on a summer trip away, but when that got cancelled I never really had an excuse to wear it, until now. It showed a lot of leg, which I was surprisingly pretty comfortable with. The thought of people seeing me in this tomorrow made me feel a mixture of excitement and nausea.

The next thing that would change was the hair; no more would it be hidden by a cap and just randomly pulled back behind my face. I would wear it down and give it a curl. I think that would give me a nice elegant edge. God, I really don’t think anyone’s even going to recognise me tomorrow, kinda funny really. The next thing I had to do was go on to the school website and look for an extracurricular I would be willing to do. Hopefully, this would be a good way to make new friends and keep me busy.

I went and grabbed my laptop from my desk, as I did this I heard my phone vibrate, which meant I had a message. The name that made the screen light up made my heart skip a few beats, it was from Jug Hey, I just found my math book outside the newsroom? Why did you leave it there and not come inside? SIGH, reading that was like a knife to my chest, I immediately deleted the message, this may be immature but I needed time, I can’t bring myself to talk to him and if he can do it to me I can sure as hell do it to him. 

Shaking those thoughts away I was brought back to the task at hand. Logging onto the schools web page I found the list of extracurricular activities going on at Riverdale high. Chess club? Pass. Girl’s soccer? Hard pass.  Mathletes? No way in hell. Come on there has to be something here. After fifteen minutes of looking to no avail I scrolled past the extracurricular activities. Eventually I saw an ad posted by the she-devil herself Cheryl Blossom, apparently, one of the river vixens had broken her ankle and a new vixen was needed immediately, auditions were tomorrow after school. Hmm, could I do this? Maybe I could? The old me would never dream of being a cheerleader but the new me, maybe she could. You know what, fuck it. It was decided, I caught myself slightly smiling as I clicked ‘attend’ on the event. It felt like a breath of fresh air, tomorrow I would walk into school confident and new. I was going to cure my own broken heart. I just hoped a run in with Jughead wouldn’t make it all come crashing down.

hogwarts au in which shiro, a quidditch star who suffered a career-ending injury, returns to hogwarts to teach charms. there he becomes fast friends with allura—the arithmancy professor—and matt—who teaches herbology—and spends quality time with his cousin/adopted brother, keith. shiro had known from the beginning that returning to hogwarts would be a good move for him; he just hadn’t realized how good, until he met lance.

lance, the seventh year gryffindor prefect and quidditch co-captain. lance, who shakes shiro’s hand and says, “you are my favorite chaser of all time,” as though shiro never stopped playing after the loss of his right arm. lance, the boy who crouches down in front of crying first years and consoles their homesickness. lance, who doesn’t care about house loyalties, who buys a bag of sweets at honeydukes to send to his little cousins, who writes insightful essays, who wants to ace his NEWTs and become a healer.

it’s lance who finds shiro at the edge of the quidditch pitch, late one autumn night, broom clutched in his hand and a bout of insomnia clinging to his eyes.

“hey,” lance says gently. he’s dressed in muggle clothing, and his hands are buried deep in his front pockets. “why are you still on the ground?”

shiro’s hand tightens around the broomstick. if lance notices, he does not comment. instead, he exhales shakily, as though nervous, and starts talking about the world cup he saw three years ago. shiro remembers it—he had played it, after all—but what had been a loss for him seems like a triumph to lance.

“i made the team that year,” lance admits. “and—i hated keith, at first, because he was so much better than me, and because he knew you. so i practiced—and practiced—and practiced, hoping that i could make you proud. which is stupid, right? you don’t even know me. i mean, maybe keith mentioned me—we were rivals—but… you didn’t know me, not like i knew you, but i had to try.”

shiro doesn’t fly that night. he doesn’t fly any night that he cannot sleep, haunted by the fall no one could stop, even as fall deepens into winter and winter thaws to spring. but lance is beside him every time, their feet planted on the ground, a bubble of artificial warmth cast around them. most of their conversations are small and silly; some are deep and soul-searching; and shiro finds, as the flowers begin to bloom and the semester draws to an end, that he’s fallen in love.

“it’s about fucking time,” matt grouses when shiro confides his feelings. “seriously, i was this close to gluing you two together with a sticking charm until you figured it out—”

“i think what matt is trying to say,” allura interrupts, “is that you deserve to be happy, shiro. and if you’re happy with lance, then we support you fully.”

still, shiro is lance’s teacher for another month, and he has to remember himself. so instead of pulling lance into the heat of his embrace and kissing him until they’re both breathless, shiro decides to do the next best thing:

he waits at the edge of the quidditch pitch with two brooms in his hand instead of one, and when lance finds him—as he has always found him—shiro says, “fly with me.”

and lance does.

Through the Ages

This is my first request and ended up being longer than usual, but I think it’s really good. 

Pairing: Laurens x reader

Warning: making out, I guess

Requested: Yes, @secretschuylersister requested #56 ( “What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven?”)   with Laurens.

Requests are super open.

Word Count: 2680

________________

You met John Laurens the day you were born. Since you were fresh from the womb, and he was only one, it’s safe to say neither one of you remembers that day. However, his parents and your parents, being old friends and next door neighbors, remember it very vividly. They love to tell you how John sat next to you in the hospital bed and was completely memorized by you, a tiny, slightly pink baby.

It often times made him blush, especially when his parents joked that he was taken with you since birth.

You were six and John was seven when John declared you to be his best friend. It was your first day at school and you were headed out to recess, where all the first graders were playing. You saw John and ran over to him. You thought his friends would accept you just like John. Instead they sneered at you because you were a girl.

“You can’t play over here with us. Go sit on the swings and gossip with the other girls,” one boy said.

“Guys, it’s okay. She’s my best friend. She’s cool,” John insisted.

“Then you can go gossip with the girls too,” the other boy chimed in.

“Fine,” John grabbed your hand and tugged you away. You smiled at John.

“Thank you,” you said, as the two of you sat on the swings.

“Anytime,” John smiled his lopsided grin.

From then on, that’s the way you always spent recess.

You were ten and John was eleven when John stopped seeing you as just his best friend.

You were both sitting on the hill near your homes. It was the last day of summer. John was stressed about school, and you were trying to cheer him up. Your jokes were corny, but John couldn’t help but be completely enamored by your laugh. He couldn’t even remember what you two had been talking about.

He turned to look at you, deep in though.

“I could marry you, you know?” John blurted out. You turned to look at him and smile.

“Let’s do it then. Promise me, you’ll marry me, and I’ll marry you,” you smiled.

On that day, John couldn’t imagine he’d ever marry anyone else. He sat his head on your shoulder in content. The sun went down and reflected in your eyes. He couldn’t seem to look away from your beauty.

“You know what married people do?” he mumbled. “They kiss.”

“Kiss?” you said surprised.

“I mean, we’re gonna kiss someday. Why not kiss each other first?” he shrugged. You smiled.

“Sure,” you leaned in.

The kiss was a hot mess, but the two of you were happy and content in that moment.

You were thirteen and John was fourteen when you realized you loved John as well. John got back from a month long vacation in New York during the summer. He knew that was where you wanted to go when you graduated, so he snapchatted you a bunch. However, when John got home, you took notice of how much taller he was and how much deeper his voice had gotten.

“John!” you called. He had come over to your house the moment he had gotten home.

“Y/n!” John yelled, engulfing you in a hug.

“Look at you! You’re so much taller now!” you marveled.

“Yeah, puberty does that to you,” John smiled a lopsided smile. “You wanna go sit since it’s actually late and I start high school like tomorrow?”

“Sure,” you smiled. You couldn’t help but notice the way his hazel eyes sparkled in the dimming sunlight.

The path wasn’t far and the two of you plopped down to watch the sunset. You leaned over to look at him. He had his lip in between his teeth in deep thought.

“You okay?” you asked.

He turned to face you in surprise.

“Hm? Oh yeah. I’m just…nervous about tomorrow I guess,” he smiled weakly.

“Don’t be,” you said. You felt a weight in your chest before speaking softly. “Uhm…and if you should find you don’t really have time for me anymore, I understand,” you said, not letting him see your sad face.

“No,” he said. He grabbed your face in his hands to make you look at him. “I’m gonna be here. We promised to get married, remember?” you both giggled at the memory.

You both got quiet and the silence grew thick as you were both close. You saw for the first time the way his hair curled around his face. The way his freckles made a map of his face. The way his eyes flickered from your lips to your eyes.

You took a leap of faith and leaned. John was quick to close the tiny gap. In your mind, you saw fireworks as the two of you kissed.

You pulled apart breathless.

“We should head home,” John murmured. You both sat in the dark now, the beautiful sunset long gone. You nodded in agreement, but your mind was running with thoughts of John. You were in love.

That same year, you almost lost a best friend. John took you up on your offer of being too busy to see you. That year, he saw you nine times. Your parents had dinner every month, and that was the only time John was ever free to hang with you.

You tried not to let it bother you. John deserved happiness and friends, and he had that.

In the night, you couldn’t stop the thoughts from creeping in.

That summer, however, things went back to a more tense version of normal. You were nervous about high school. John was nervous about making the baseball team. There was still the tension of not talking to you for a whole year.

When you started your freshman year, John looked out for you. Your friends were in the same social group, yet there was always an unspoken division of boys and girls.

That year John had a perpetual blush on his face. His friends teased him endlessly about his crush on you, but your friends did exactly the same. Things were going perfectly, until John got a girlfriend.

You were fifteen and John was sixteen the first time you both experienced a heartbreak.

It was around this time you realized John was actually hot. He had grown up nicely. John was noticing the same things about you. You had started to fill out, and John’s friends were taking notice. John had to constantly smack the backs of his friends’ heads for making comments on your appearance right in front of you.

John’s friend Charles Lee was the one who finally asked you out. He was notorious for being a fuckboy, but you were naïve, and John was too busy with his girlfriend to notice you. You said yes, even though you didn’t want to.

You and Charles had a lovely date at the movies, until he drove off into a little clearing. You were just thinking how lovely it would be to have an older boyfriend as a freshman. He could be your summer romance, and then for sophomore year, you’d have an upper classman as a boyfriend.

However, Charles had another idea.

“So, how did you like tonight?” he asked.

“It was incredible. Thank you,” you smiled shyly.

“Well, maybe I could show you something more incredible,” Charles smirked.

“What could be more incredible than tonight?” you asked naively. Charles just chuckled before leaning over to kiss you. The kiss was nothing like with John from forever ago. It was too pushy and needy. Soon Charles pushed his tongue into your mouth and clawed at the hem of your shirt. You pushed him off of you.

“Stop. I don’t want this,” you frowned.

“Come on. Don’t be such a prude,” Charles murmured, going to kiss you again.  

“No,” you pushed him back. Charles just stared at you shaking his head.

“I knew you were always Laurens’s whore,” he spat, driving you home.

Tears formed in your eyes, and when you got home, you wanted to run straight to your room. John however, was outside waiting to see how your date went, when he saw the tears in your eyes. When he asked what was wrong, you couldn’t help but spill the whole story, crying even harder. He hugged you tight, muttering things about Charles.

The next day, he found Charles laughing with your friends and slammed him against the lockers.

“John! Stop! He’s not worth it,” you said your voice cracking. John repressed the words he wanted to say. Instead, he pulled back and let a puff of angry air out. His girlfriend came by like she did every morning to whisk him away to make out. There you were, heartbroken and alone. Charles didn’t love you, but that didn’t sting as much as knowing that John didn’t love you like you wanted him to.

John’s heartbreak came the next school year, when you were a sophomore and he was a junior. It was a few days before his seventeenth birthday. The two of you were born one year and two days apart, and you were excited to show John what you had gotten him. It was a wedding ring as a joke, since you two promised to get married.

John’s newest girlfriend had other plans. For his seventeenth birthday, she was going to give him herself. A few days before John’s birthday, she did just that, after only one month of dating. That didn’t sound like the John you knew, and it only added to the long list of heartbreak. However, soon after she broke up with him. John cried.

You two sat on the hill for the first time since middle school, staring into the sunset. John’s head was in your lap, and you were lightly running your fingers through his hair.

“I thought she loved me…I thought she was gonna want to stay with me, but it turns out she didn’t know I was a virgin. She was only in it for the sex,” he couldn’t look you in the eye.

“She sucks. I’m sorry,” you said, not knowing what else to say.

“I’m done with stupid love and shit,” he grumbled. You had planned on giving him his gift tonight, but that seemed to be in poor taste now.

“Promise me something,” John said, sitting up to look you in the eyes.

“Sure,” you crinkled your brow.

“Save yourself for someone who loves you,” he said, urgently. “Don’t make my mistakes.”

“H-How do I know if they love me, though?” you stammered.

“If you can’t decide, just…save yourself for me then,” he rambled out, surprising himself.

“You?” you asked surprised.

“Yeah. If you’re ready and you don’t want it to be some stranger, I’ll be there,” he smiled. He wanted to add “because I love you” but he wasn’t that bold just yet.

“S-sure,” you stammered again blushing.

You looked down, but John tilted your head up. You looked into each other’s eyes for a moment before kissing passionately. John slowly pushing you down into the grass. You slowly began to lift your hands up into his shirt. He broke the kiss momentarily to slip your shirt off. John kissed down your neck softly, then he began to suck on one spot, nibbling on it slightly. You moaned out in response. After a minute, when you were sure, he’d left a hickey, he suddenly pulled back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sadness in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

You were too stunned to tell him it was okay. Your mind screamed at you to tell him how much you liked it, how much you liked him. Instead, you sat there. He ran home. You slipped on your shirt.

You slowly drifted apart after that night.

It didn’t take long for the hickey to fade, but it never faded from your memory. It constantly tormented the both of your minds. You wondered if it meant John loved you. John wondered if you enjoyed it and loved him.

You were seventeen and John was eighteen the time the two of you finally fucked. Although, you wanted it to be sweet and slow and nice sex. You knew immediately after that it was a casual fuck.

You and John had found your way together at a party, drunkenly reconnecting. By some grace, you actually made drunk plans for dinner the next night.

That night John couldn’t keep his eyes off the way you filled out so nicely, and you couldn’t keep your mind from wondering about how he had developed.

The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

The dinner ended with nothing substantial happening, however, when you got to the street you both lived on, both of you fully aware your parents were away on vacation together, things picked up.

“So,” John began. “Did you ever…met someone you loved?” John asked. You fully understood what he was implying.

“Never,” you whispered, leaning in close. “Although, I think I’ll take your advice from forever ago…” you trailed off.

That was all it took. John slammed his lips into yours. You trusted him, although in hindsight he was going to graduate and leave in about ten days. You should have known.

You should have known the way his hands knew just what to do was muscle memory. You should have known this was routine for him.

But the way his body pressed against yours. The closeness you felt with the man you loved. You couldn’t hardly stop yourself and justify it in that moment to your needy brain.
I was incredible, but short lived.

Lying there after, you felt vulnerable and stupid. He rolled right onto his side and began to fall asleep. You sat up, embarrassed. He couldn’t actually love you.

His arm shot up and pulled you back to the bed.

“Stay,” he mumbled. So, you stayed. This changed nothing.

The next Monday, John’s last Monday, everything was the same.

You ignored John. When he graduated, you took one forced photo with him. You didn’t see him for a while after that.

You were twenty-two and John was twenty-three the next time you saw him.

You had finally moved to New York. You had gotten into Columbia college, but had forgotten John was going to graduate school there until one fateful day.

John was rustling around with his friends when he saw you. He wasn’t sure if it was you, until Alex started calling out your name.

“You know her?” John whispered to Alex.

“Yeah, I’m the teacher’s assistant in her intro to law class,” Alex replied as you walked over.

“Hi, y/n! These are my friends, Hercules, Lafayette, and Laur-“ you cut him off

“John?” you asked hesitantly.

“Hey, y/n. Can we talk?” John asked.

“Uhm…We’ll just go now,” Alex said looking suspiciously between you and John, before raising an eyebrow at John, suggestily.

You and John started to walk.

“So…Uhm…It’s been a while,” he began. You scoffed.

“Yeah,” you said coldly.

“So why’d you ignore me after we…” he trailed off, hurt lacing his voice.

“Fucked?” you finished. “Because, you were just going to leave me anyway. You just wanted my virginity for some power trip or something.”

“You have to believe me. That’s not what I meant to do,” he said, his sad eyes betraying the anger in his voice.

“You can’t prove it. You just feel bad about it,” you yelled back.

“Yeah, well what if I told you I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven?” he yelled, his patience gone.

You instantly softened.

“Y-you have?” you asked. He nodded his head in response.

“Well, if you were to say that, I would probably tell you I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen?” you smiled.

“I’d probably do this,” John leaned down to capture your lips in his. From somewhere in the distance, his friends cheered.

You were twenty-four and John was twenty-five when the two of you got married, and your lives began.

The Arrangement: Part 1

Title:  The Arrangement: Part 1

Summary:  He’s a mechanic. She’s a lonely woman with more money than she knows what to do with. Fate brings them together and sparks fly. But only for six weeks. That’s the arrangement.

Author: Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters:  Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 1944

Warnings: None in this chapter, maybe language

Author’s Notes:  This is part one of a multi-part series. Shifts between two points of view. Huge thanks to @mamapeterson for her invaluable help.

Originally posted by ilostmyshoe-79

Keep reading

pandasubaru  asked:

AU Ideas: 4 (with Artist Steve?? that'd be amazing) or 13 or 15

  • 15: My friend made me a grindr/tinder profile without me knowing and you liked my profile and then sent me a message which just said ‘Bees?’ and I’m a little confused but intrigued.

— —

Steve’s phone buzzes.

“If this is another Grindr notification, I swear to God—“ Steve starts.

“That you’ll answer it and go get laid?” Sam says. Natasha snickers.

“That I’ll kick your ass,” Steve says.

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Will you?” he asks.

“Yes, I will!” Steve says.

“He’s very scrappy,” Natasha says. “He once managed to scratch me.”

“Check your messages,” Sam says.

Steve sighs, rolls his eyes, and pulls out his phone. He reads the notification from wintersoldat3255. It says, Bees? and nothing else.

He holds the phone up to Sam. “See?” he says. “See the weirdos who message me because you made this profile?”

Sam takes the phone from Steve, reads the message, and snorts. “Okay, well, maybe they’re not all winners. Let’s see what he…” he trails off, eyes going wide. “Shit, those are some pectorals.”

“Oh, pass it here,” Natasha says, taking the phone. Even Natasha — who is rarely impressed — raises her eyebrows. “Maybe you should see what this guy has to say,” she says, passing the phone back to Steve after a long moment.

“I’ve seen what he has to say, and what he has to say is ‘bees’, apparently.”

“It was a question,” Sam says. “You should change your intonation.”

Steve exhales. “Bees?” he asks, exaggerating the raised end of the question. “That better?”

“Very,” Sam says. “Now let’s look at your other prospects.”

Steve gets up to get another round of drinks.

— —

He doesn’t know why he goes back to Grindr that night, after he’s back home and has had a few drinks. It’s not that he wants to get laid — honestly, he doesn’t want to get out of bed — but he’s sort of curious about who saw his photos and thought ‘yeah, I’d hit that’.

He scrolls through a few generic messages, then sees the one from wintersoldat3255.

Bees?

What the fuck.

So he types out, what the fuck? and sends it back to the guy.

He doesn’t expect an answer — the guy messaged him hours ago — but it only takes a minute or so before he gets a response:

You say save the bees in your profile, which is noble and everything, but I know for a FACT that you’re allergic to bees.

First of all, Steve is a little heartened knowing that Sam knows him well enough to include the fact that the bees need to be put on the endangered species list and should be protected on his dating profile. But then he realizes that this guy… somehow knows that Steve is allergic to bees, which is creepy as hell.

No I’m not, Steve lies, calling the guy’s bluff.

No, you are. I’m the one who shoved an Epipen in your thigh after you got stung during Gilmore Hodge’s birthday party and his mom was too freaked out to do anything about it.

Steve stares at the message, then shakes his head. It can’t be right! The person who stuck the Epipen in his thigh during Gilmore Hodge’s birthday party was Bucky Barnes, and this guy can’t be Bucky Barnes.

Can he?

Steve quickly clicks over to his profile. He scrolls through the pictures, but there aren’t any of his face, just abs and pecs, which makes Steve roll his eyes a little. When he goes back to his messages he has another from wintersoldat3255:

Yeah Steve, it’s me.

Steve’s eyes go wide.

Bucky? he asks.

Long time no see.

Can’t actually see your face, so I don’t really know it’s you.

A photo appears. It’s of Bucky Barnes, mugging for the camera with a toothy grin.

You wanna catch up? Bucky writes.

Sure. Where are you? Steve asks, heart beating fast.

It’s Grindr. The whole point is that you can see.

Steve rolls his eyes, they make plans to meet-up at a local 24-hour diner in a half hour, and Steve saves the photo that Bucky sent him, just in case.

— —

Bucky is already sitting in a booth when Steve walks in. He perks up, grins, and waves. “Steve!” he calls.

Steve straightens up a little, takes a breath. He shouldn’t be so nervous; it’s not like there’s anything riding on this. He’s just seeing his childhood best friend for the first time in over ten years. No big deal.

Doesn’t help that Bucky was Steve’s first crush, but no big deal, either.

He walks over, and Bucky’s just grinning at him, like he’s the best thing he’s seen in years. “Hey Buck,” Steve says.

“Steve,” Bucky says, kind of breathy. “Wow, you look fantastic.”

Steve shrugs. “I look like me,” he says. “Don’t have abs like you do, apparently.”

Bucky laughs, ducks his head. “I’ll be honest — my friends made that profile for me. I thought Peter was taking pictures for his art class of me at the gym.”

“Why didn’t he include his face?” Steve asks. “It’s not like your face is a bad one.”

Bucky laughs. “Thanks for that, I think.” He pauses, starts playing with the edge of the plastic menu on the table in front of him. “And it’s because I’m out but I’m not out out.”

“Okay?” Steve says, a little confused.

“Anyhow, what have you been up to? How’s life? Do you still like pancakes? Because this place has the best pancakes.”

— —

It’s weird how easy it is, reconnecting with Bucky. Steve never spent much effort trying to find him after they lost touch. He just assumed that Bucky thought he was too cool for him when they got to high school, and it was almost a relief when he moved away during the summer before their junior year, just so Steve wouldn’t have to be reminded of the best friend he lost.

He wants to ask Bucky about it, but he doesn’t have to. Bucky just opens up during their second round of milkshakes.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“For what?” Steve asks.

“For when I stopped talking to you during high school. I know that it must’ve made you feel like shit.”

Steve fidgets. He doesn’t want to answer that.

“You know my parents were in a bad place.”

“They got divorced, right?” he asks.

Bucky nods. “But the last two years were… really bad.” He pauses, clears his throat. “I wasn’t hanging out with a great crowd. And I think I justified not talking to you because I didn’t want you to get involved with that crowd. But I more just think that I didn’t want you talking me out of the bad shit I was doing.”

Steve remembers the way that Bucky walked down the halls with his friends, rolling his eyes at Steve when he tried to talk to him. Of course, Steve tried to talk to him, tried having a showdown of some kind, but Bucky would just… walk away. He never bothered listening.

It hurt.

“And then my parents got divorced and my mom and I moved in with my Uncle Pierce, and…” He trails off.

“That’s the uncle who I met that one time, right? Who said I should be sent to a pray away the gay camp?”

“We had no money,” Bucky says.

“How was it?”

“I joined the Army as soon as I could,” Bucky says with a weak smile.

“Shit,” Steve says.

He shrugs. “I’m out now, and I’m doing pretty well for myself. Got my issues, but everyone else does.” Steve nods. “And besides, I’m free to do whatever I want now, so.”

“So you’re spending your time on Grindr?” Steve asks.

“You are, too!” Bucky says.

“My friends made me a profile!”

“No, Steve, you can’t take that excuse. I already used it.” He’s laughing, and Steve kicks him underneath the table.

“It’s true!”

“Yeah, yeah, Steve Rogers.” He stops laughing, just smiles. “Steve Rogers,” he repeats, quieter.

“That’s my name,” he says. The ‘don’t wear it out’ is implied.

He glances down at his shake, and stirs it with his straw. “I wanted to find you again for a while,” he admits, still looking down. “I debated about sending you a message for about an hour before I did.”

“I’m glad you did,” Steve says. “I’ve wondered a lot about what happened to you.”

“Do you think…” Bucky starts, looking up. He clears his throat. “Do you think that we could meet again sometime? I just… I feel like this is a second chance, and I don’t wanna mess it up.”

“I’d like to see you again,” Steve says, stomach tingling, and not from the milkshake.

“Cool,” Bucky says, and Steve feels his foot shift against his. He doesn’t move it away.

Steve doesn’t mind, just presses his own foot closer to Bucky’s, and looks forward to their future together.

I Can’t Lose Her

Part 1 (It’s really not that necessary to read it to understand what’s going on); Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5


Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Reader

Summary: Your parents gave you up so you had no choice but to become his wife.

Genre: Mafia AU, angst

Word count: 4,334 I went all out with this one 😂

Originally posted by sehunicorne

Jongdae’s POV


8 years ago

“Jongdae take a look at this,” my father said handing me a file with a bunch of papers in it.

“Darling, I don’t think you should show him this yet, he’s too young,” my mother interrupted.

“He’s has to take over the family business sooner or later, besides he already knows a lot of stuff, might as well learn how to deal with the ones indebted to us.”

My mother didn’t say anything just looked at me and went out of the room. I picked up the file and opened it. It wasn’t a big case, just some husband and wife who owns my father money because of gambling in one of his casinos. I have no idea why he would give me this, it seemed boring. My father noticed that.

“They don’t owe me that much compared to some other big shots but what I really dislike about them is the fact that they tried to run away…”

I wondered what he meant before I turned the page and saw that they’re now in completely different city. What fools. Do they really think they can escape my father this easily, he has eyes everywhere and they’re just amateurs. I understood that my father probably wants to go pay them a visit and I would gladly accompany him. I turned another page to see what they look like and to my surprise they had daughters. The older one in particular caught my attention, even though her face was expressionless, her features were delicate. I took the photo out.

“What about them?” I asked him, he picked up the picture and looked at it closely.

“We can use them to our advantage. Threatening is always easier when they have family members to worry of,” my father started laughing creepily, something that even made me feel unsettling. He stood up and called one of the drivers before gesturing for me to follow him.

“Are we actually going there now?” I questioned and he nodded. I got into the back seat of the car and checked my clock. We will probably arrive there in about 4 hours. I didn’t speak to my father anything else because honestly I preferred not to know what he’s planning. The car ride there felt like it will never end but once we were there I somehow started getting nervous. It was already dark outside and as soon as my father’s men began sprinting up the stairs the nervousness was soon replace by a pure sense of adrenaline. They kicked the door to one of the apartments open and went inside, searching for inhabitants, I wanted to go help them but my father told me to stay in the back. I saw how they ushered one man and three women to the tiny living room. I wondered how could somebody live in a place like this. My father steeped out from the shadows and I could already hear the two parents whimpering.

“Please, you have got it all wrong,” the man said.

“We were planning on paying you back,” the woman continued.

“Shut up,” my father said, pushing the two girls so they were on their knees, facing their parents. Even though their backs were to me, I immediately recognized the older one. I watched her hair go down her back and as she straighten herself I had to control my urge to come up to her.

“Please enlighten me how I’m wrong,” my father continued to mock them. “Because you clearly thought you can get away with all of the money I gave you. That’s not how this works.”

They all stayed silent for a moment and I heard another sob. It wasn’t from her though. She took the younger ones hand and whispered something to her.

“So what should I do with you all?” he asked expecting me to answer.

“Scare them a little?” I replied not sure if that’s the answer he wanted.

“Great idea!” he said, setting the gun against the back of her head. And then the quiet cries started again but by the way she was still kneeling I knew none of it is from her. She just squeezed the younger ones hand more tightly and I heard her mother say that everything is going to be okay but all of us knew it won’t and I don’t know what was going on in my head at that moment, I never dared defy my father like that.

“Wait!” I shouted and he turned to me, I had to say what I wanted quickly to avoid annoying him further. “Not this one,” I finally spoke. “The other,” I said, pointing to the younger one.

“As you wish,” my father said. I saw her turn to her sister in an attempt to stop him but the shot was already fired and only the echoes of the sound resonated along the room. Everyone was dead silent as they watched the body fall to the ground.

“Let’s go,” my father said, already going to the door. My eyes met hers seemingly for a split second but I could already see how they turned from frightened to pure hatred as she went to her sister’s lifeless body. I heard her cry for the first time as she held it. I quickly turned around. I have no idea why but extreme guilt washed over me.

“Shit,” I thought to myself going out. I couldn’t get the powerful look she gave me out of my head.  I realized that at that moment I fell in love with her.


6 year, 4 months

For the next almost two years there wasn’t a day I didn’t think about her. I wanted to meet her so badly but I knew it would never be possible after what happened. I spent my days gathering all the information I could possibly get on her. Her name especially stuck with me. I remember attending her sister’s funeral and watching her from one of the trees from a distance. Even being so far away from here I could see she had no emotion on her face. I knew that this is partly my fault but I never felt more grateful that my father listened to me on that day. After a few months, I found out that she started working to help repay her parents debts. Whenever I went to the café she worked at I was always too scared to go inside, thinking she will recognize me. At this point I knew I’m becoming quite obsessed with her but I just had to see her. Get closer somehow. My father’s health got significantly worse and I had to take care of a lot of more things nowadays but I had inside eyes even in her school. I felt like trashing the office I already had when I found out that someone is actually bullying her. I had to go there myself. Luckily on that day she wasn’t even at school. I chuckled when I saw how everyone stared at me as I pulled up in an expensive car in front of the building. I went straight to the principal and him knowing my father, well promised not to interfere. I slammed the door to her classroom open and called the bullies out. They of course didn’t want to go anywhere with me but just with a snap of my fingers, my father’s men were already at them.  Their squirms of pain and asks for forgiveness were music to my ear, as I tortured them myself in one the warehouses owned by us. Every day I was getting more and more like my father. I wondered if she ever found out where they suddenly disappeared to. I couldn’t let her be in that school anymore, so after a long argument I finally won and she was supposed to get transferred by getting a scholarship to the private school I attended. I could barely contain my excitement at the thought of seeing her more often.


4 years ago

It made me quite happy to know that she’s the introverted type. Less guys approached her, less trouble for them and for me. I have heard that she needed some really persuasive convincing so she would actually go this school. Knowing her, it didn’t surprise me she found this suspicious. I stared at her from the third floor window, reading a book by one of the trees. She looked as beautiful as ever. Our uniform fit her well.

“Are you watching her again?” Baekhyun approached me. “Man, you’re so creepy.”

“Shut up, it’s none of your business.”

He raised his hands in defence.

“Relax, I’m not taking her, even though she’s a great catch but seeing how everything is going, you’re not going to get her anytime soon either,” he laughed but I quickly silenced him with a punch to his stomach. He fell down on the floor and I lifted him up by the collar.

“You dare say something like that about her again.”

“No need to get violent. Anyone would be stupid to try to do that. Do you think I want to die? You’re scary when you’re jealous,” he said swatting my hand away and standing up. “Speaking about that. I heard that some guy from her class confessed to her the other day, she rejected him though-“

But I wasn’t listening anymore. How dare someone do that. I knew who it was. I saw him trying to get all friendly with her. Luckily it was still lunch break, I went to his table and dragged him away. I saw how frightened he got by the second. I was known as quite the scary one in the school, I just hoped that rumour never reached her.

“What, what is it?” he asked me when I slammed him to the wall in one of the corners. I didn’t say anything just took his arm and began twisting. He screamed in pain.

“Did you talk to Y/N the other day?”

“Y/N? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I twisted his arm to the opposite direction a bit more.

“Okay yes. Yes I was.”

“She’s mine,” I told him as I finally heard the bone snap. He cried out in pain and fell to the floor. “You won’t tell anyone about this unless, you have a death wish,” I said, showing him my gun.

I went to the next lesson like nothing happened. I saw Baekhyun glance at me from his table. He asked if I took care of him and I nodded. I had another worry now, my graduation is soon and she still has two years of studying left.


2 years ago

My father’s sudden passing half a year ago left me with complete control of the gang but also all the worry and trouble it came with. Before this I never knew he was associated with the other families and how closely they worked together. I needed to learn again how to cooperate and work for a common goal. The many deals and jobs my father left me with meant that I couldn’t see her as often. I sometimes wondered why she’s still not here by my side. I had so much power in this city yet, I couldn’t just go and kidnap her. At least I knew that she also graduated. I literally thought about staying an extra year in school just to be near her but my mother convinced me otherwise. It made me quite sad when I found out, she never went to pursue a higher education, when she was one of the top graduates. After all these years, her parents never learned and still gambled. Even more so, after what happened. Her heart was too kind, they didn’t deserve her. She worked two jobs just to take care of them and also pay up the debt. I wonder how she felt knowing that she’s sending the money to her sister’s killer. One day thinking about this I came up with a perfect plan to finally make her mine.


9 months ago

“You know it will never work,” Minseok said as soon as I explained to him what I was planning. “She will find out sooner or later.”

Every single one of them told me that. Why did I even bother explaining. I’m going to go through with it anyway. I have been waiting for so long as it is.

“Then I better make sure she doesn’t,” I said, putting my jacket on and going to the door.

“Jongdae don’t be stupid, she’s just a girl…”

“She’s special. You haven’t seen her on that day.”

I knew why they didn’t like this idea from the start, it was mostly because they didn’t want me to get hurt by her or get hurt while protecting her. Stupid reasons. I called my family’s lawyer and he promised to get the documents ready by the end of the month. I went back to my apartment and fell down on the bed. The room next to mine was still empty but I could already imagine her being there.


5 months ago

I picked up the papers and the photos I gathered of her throughout all these years. I wanted to burn them, get rid of them but I somehow couldn’t bring myself to do it. She looked so pretty and cute in all of them. I opened the secret drawer and put all of them in there. Today was the day. Her parents agreed to meet me as soon as I told them what I want. They welcomed me warmly and they nodded eagerly when I told them I’m willing to pay off their debt. It disgusted me how easily they accepted my offer to exchange money for their daughter, I tried not to show them this because I was also extremely happy everything is going so well. They didn’t question why I’m even doing this and that was enough for me. As I shook their hands and they signed the papers, I heard the front door of their apartment open. And there she was, almost in the same place I first met her, looking as stunning as ever in her work dress. I stood up immediately and took a few steps to her. She glanced at me then at her parents.

“Who’s this?” she asked, her voice sweet and soothing.

“Y/N this is Jongdae, you will have to come with him,” her mother explained.

“Jongdae?” she questioned and for a second, I thought she will recognize me. “Why should I go with him?”

“We just made a perfect deal and got a lot of money from him,” she was shocked by the answer.

“And you’re selling me off just like that?!” she shouted. “He could be a human trafficker for all I know, how dare you!”

I couldn’t stay here any longer, I needed to get away from her parents before I punched them in the face. I grabbed her by the arm and went to the door.

“Mother,” she cried out.

“Don’t worry Y/N! He promised to take care of you,” she shouted after her.

“Let go of me,” she said, as I took her to the car. She seemed quiet on the outside but I absolutely loved how feisty she actually is. I had no idea how to take her to the headquarters without her escaping, so I handcuffed her to one of the handles inside of the car.

“What the hell are you doing? Is this a kidnapping?” she began trashing around but abruptly stopped when she noticed my gun. I saw that she was at least a bit scared but she tried her best not to show it.

I took her to one of the rooms in the headquarters and sat her on the bed.

“Y/N I want to marry you,” I finally told her. She looked at me in disbelief.

“Are stupid or something? There was no way I’m getting married.”

And so it began. I tried to convince her multiple times and I didn’t know it was even possible but she started to annoy me to no end. Maybe this won’t be as easy as I thought it would be. I came back to the room again after a while and panicked when I couldn’t see her in it. I ran to the bathroom and saw that she’s climbing into the ventilation shaft. That was it. I dragged her out roughly and flung her over my shoulder. I left her downstairs and went to my room to calm down. I shoved everything off my table, it was easier taking it out on something. I knew I can’t show her my temper and how I actually am if I ever want to gain her trust and I needed that but most of all I needed her. I stayed away for a few hours before coming back to her. I signalled my men to leave us alone. I came up to her and saw that she’s sleeping. She looked so adorable I just wanted to pick her up and hold her close. And so I did but she woke up soon after. She stared at me with those beautiful eyes of her and her cheeks turned a cute shade of pink when I complimented her. I felt bad threatening her but she really had no more than two options. Even though I could never kill her. I watched the tears stream down her face. And here I thought I will never see that happening again. I wiped them off and after all these years of waiting, kissed her.


3 months ago

I couldn’t help but chuckle when I told her I stopped locking the door to her room days ago. I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. But she was even more shocked when I told her I’m taking her to party. She was gorgeous in the dress I got her that I froze to my spot. She came up to me and fixed my tie and when she looked up, she seemed so innocent, I couldn’t believe I’m lying to her. I was about to tell her everything right there on the spot, thank God one of my men saved me. I know how much she would hate me if she ever found out the truth and by now, I would probably die if she left me. I still hated the plan they come up with even though it was perfect. She was beautiful, who wouldn’t get distracted by her. I gave her a necklace with a tracker in it and prayed that she won’t get in any trouble so I wouldn’t need to use it. Unfortunately that was not going to happen. When Junmyeon came in and told me that Jimin took her to the roof I completely ignored the deal we were making and everyone in the room and ran out as fast as I can. If he as much as touched her. I don’t care if I get this war started. I kicked the door open and saw that he had her cornered. I would have killed him but somehow I was afraid to shoot someone if front of her, thinking it will trigger something. And I was right when all of it was over and she came to me that night I knew what she dreamt of.


1 month ago

I was trying to convince her to work with me for the past two months. I wanted to keep her nearby but I knew she would never accept it. She hated violence. One day she even asked me about her parents. It surprised me how much she still cared about them. As each day went by after I gave her the key to go out whenever she wanted and I saw her smile more often, it was harder to control myself. I didn’t want to push her but I loved her so much and I wanted her to know that.


Yesterday;  7 am

I woke up early because only now did I remembered that I never got her that wedding ring. What kind of a husband am I. I sat up in my bed and picked up my phone. I already had 3 missed calls. Two from Chanyeol, one from Minseok. What do they want so early in the morning? I had to go find that ring. I peeked inside her room before I went out. She looked so peaceful and cute while she slept. I could never get enough of seeing her this way.


Yesterday; 12 am

I came back after four hours and she still was asleep. I went to my office and checked my phone. 10 more missed calls. I had no plans of talking to them today, no matter how important it was. I took my cheque book and couldn’t help but take a peek at the photos I still had underneath. I still couldn’t believe I got so lucky to finally have her.


Yesterday; 10 pm

I came back as soon as I got the ring and went to the balcony with her. I knew she enjoyed the view. I didn’t know where to start, so I kept quiet for a moment, enjoying her presence.

“Jongdae, did something happen?” she asked me and I saw that she was actually worried. I turned around and practically begged her to let me put the ring on. Now she really was mine and everyone will be able to see that. I couldn’t believe she was just as happy as I am. I took her hands in mine.

 “You may have already noticed it but I’m utterly and extremely in love with you,” I told her and she began blushing. I didn’t know what to expect after that but I certainly didn’t think she would pull me in and kiss me. She kissed me. Herself. I slid my hands down her back to her waist when freaking Minseok came in and ruined the moment. As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I knew one against eleven is not a good fight. I told her not to wait up and kissed her on the forehead before going after Minseok.


Present Day; 6 am

I was so sick of this meeting and all this bullshit. I just wanted to go back home to her and hug her so tight and kiss her all over.

“Jongdae are you listening? I’m not going to repeat it for the third time,” Junmyeon said, pointing at the white board near him.

“Yeah yeah,” I told him. “So what if BTS started to move, do you seriously think we can’t beat them?”

“That’s not the point, they have allies,” he sighed before standing up. “I think we have been discussing this for too long now. The meeting is over. We will meet up later today. Don’t be late, especially you,” he said pointing at me.

I was the first one to get out of the room and was almost running to the elevator when Sehun caught up with me. I really didn’t want to speak with him right now.

“Did you hear?” he asked, stopping me.

“What?”

“Strange. I thought you will be going out for blood by now.”

“Just tell me what it is. I’m in a hurry.”

“There are some rumours going on around in the black market that Jimin issued a reward for someone who will bring Y/N to him,” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Are you serious? I have to get back home. Fast.”


Present Day; 8 am

I kept thinking why would he want her so badly the whole drive from the headquarters. But the want to finish what we started was stronger. I unlocked the door and went inside. I didn’t see here anywhere down stairs, so maybe she was still sleeping. As I was going up I saw that my office door is slightly open.

“Y/N are you in there?” I asked, pushing them. I saw her kneeling behind the table. She looked up at me with those same eyes I saw 8 years ago that turned from frightened to pure anger and hatred.

“Fuck,” was the only thing I could think of. “I fucked up.”

“Care to explain what’s the meaning of this?” she said, coming up and throwing all the papers at me. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. If she found this, she already knew everything. Why the hell I never got rid of them. She took hold of my shirt and tugged at me roughly.

“I only have one thing to ask you,” she said. “Were you really there when my sister was shot to death?”

She stared at me and I kept silent.

“I can’t believe this,” tears already formed in the corner of her eyes. “I can’t believe I was about to fall for a man who is responsible for my sister’s death.”

She let go of me and ran downstairs but I caught up to her.

“Y/N listen, if it wasn’t her it would have been you! I could never let that happen.”

She turned around and slapped me hard across the face. It hurt but I deserved that.

“And who gave you the right to decide?” she shouted and ripped the silver necklace off her neck before running out through the door. Shit if she doesn’t have that on, I won’t be able to find her.

“Y/N!! Baby wait!!”

I chased after her but she was unbelievably fast. I wondered how is that even possible since she was wearing heels. I ran after her for good fifteen minutes when I lost sight of her in the crowds of people. I punched the nearby wall with all my might, making my knuckles bleed.  I set my head against it’s coldness.  It can’t end this way. I can’t lose her now.


~ Part 7 ~

A/N: Dun dun duuuun, turns out Jongdae is an obsessive stalker

Friends Part 9

Summary: You and Bucky are friends for a long time, but lately you start to develop romantic feelings for him. One day one of Tony’s parties everything changes but maybe not the way you wanted or expected.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 3143

Thank you @amrita31199 you are the best and thank you for correcting so fast,

credits to the gif owners

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

You look at the giant compound in front of you, with all your courage you ring the doorbell. Bruce answers the door asking gently “What are you doing here? There is nobody home, didn’t you hear about what happened?”

“What happened, Bruce?” Your heart hurts, you are already preparing for the worst “I don’t know all the details, but Hydra wants to make another super soldier. Apparently, they are kidnapping civilians to make the experiments.”

This is so horrible, you feel sorry for all these people that are having their life destroyed but at the same time you are relieved that Bucky is alright and that it is just another mission “Shouldn’t you be there with them?”

You imagined that the Hulk would be helpful in these situations “I wouldn’t be very useful in that situation, they need to be discrete and the Hulk is nothing like that.”  You should go home, it seems like the Universe doesn’t want you two to be together. It is the only explanation.

“Oh I see, I am so sorry to bother you so late. “ You check your phone it is way past midnight “Can you let me know when they get home? I really need to talk to, Bucky.” Bruce opens the front door for you “Why don’t you sleep here tonight? It’s pretty late and Bucky will kill me if something happens to you.”

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