it was to good an opportunity to pass up

reasons to date the signs

aries

  • they’re super hot
  • they offer to beat up anyone you don’t like
  • tickle fights
  • fun as hell

taurus

  • always telling you how cute you are
  • never forgets to text back
  • best at hugging!!!
  • wants to buy you things

gemini

  • you never run out of things to talk about
  • dank memes
  • cutest fucking smiles
  • just wants you to be happy

cancer

  • rlly good kissers
  • also rlly good at cuddling
  • will mother you
  • you’ll feel so safe and happy

leo

  • good hair
  • random trips to the grocery store
  • they will INSIST on buying you things
  • will never ignore you

virgo

  • will take you to a bookstore
  • loves holding hands with you
  • will be sooo gentle and soft with you
  • wants you to do your best

libra

  • will never pass up the opportunity to compliment you
  • GREAT kissers
  • will treat you like royalty
  • loves the cliche romance shit

scorpio

  • they’ll stay up late for you
  • long hugs and neck kisses
  • might let you win at mario kart
  • will fight for you

sagittarius

  • will drive you anywhere you want
  • fucking hilarious
  • will be friends with all of your friends
  • will always think the best of you

capricorn

  • are so classy and chivalrous 
  • are too good for you but thinks you’re too good for them
  • will make you cupcakes for no reason
  • plays with your hair

aquarius

  • shares cool wikipedia articles with you
  • loves you more than they love themselves
  • will never bore you
  • makes dank memes

pisces

  • will compare you to beautiful things
  • will 100% bring you flowers 
  • charms your parents
  • is so gentle and shy with you

anonymous asked:

It was said it to 2moms and it deserves to be said to your stupid blog to: your going to eat crow when Gillovny is confirmed and your going to look so stupid. Just wait.

As it so happens, the Captains have a fantastic recipe for crow, and we were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of them making it. They call it “Does He Live In London Black Crow Roast.”

Oh stop it you two…

Here’s the recipe:

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10

unforgettable barça matches: may 28, 2011

it is supposed to be united who do what they want, but they were even more comprehensively taken apart than was the case two years ago. with lionel messi dazzling once again, united only had wayne rooney’s aggression with which to counter some scintillating passing and movement, and only some erratic, almost casual finishing from the catalan side prevented the score reflecting what a mismatch this really was. barcelona could easily have been three goals to the good by half-time, and must have been in double figures for scoring opportunities in the second half by the time david villa scored a third to kill off any faint united hopes of recovery…  with the game being played at one end to an almost embarrassing degree, barcelona were queueing up to take shots at van der sar before villa scored the third. the goalkeeper made notable stops from messi, then xavi, then iniesta, but had no chance with villa’s exquisite curler, after nani had come on for fábio and was immediately let down by his first touch. he probably should not reproach himself too much. standing next to messi, almost anyone in the world would look clumsy. the same seems to apply to any side unlucky enough to encounter barcelona in a champions league final.

AU where Musashi and Yamato stay together and become the greatest duo Team Rocket’s ever seen. Rather than getting jealous of Musashi’s status in Team Rocket, Yamato accepts that she’s good and is supportive of her girlfriend. She also takes the opportunity to develop a friendly rivalry with Jessie which in turn challenged her to be a better Team Rocket trainee. When it came time during their training to partner up, they convinced their superiors to allow them to be a team (despite the rules saying that partners should not be involved romantically with one another). They passed all their tests with flying colors and were made permanent partners. They were successful in all their endeavors and were quickly promoted to executives.

3

ENCORE:

After coming across this prompt@pemprika and I couldn’t stop thinking about it; hence the birth of this comic. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up! MUCH LOVE TO THE benevolent and beautiful Sharon who patiently and willingly put up with my nitpicking and constant expanding of the canvas (blame drawpile for making it so easy to expand)!! This was our first comic collab and it turned out to be super fun A+++ thank the holy au prompt for that god bless 

also quoting sharon:

more comix to com in the future cuz fun af

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Fic: Who Knew It Was So Hard To Write A Valentine's Card?

By @xoruffitup

7.7k words, G rated

Albus is desperate to find the right words to tell Scorpius how he feels about him. Meanwhile, Scorpius has all but given up on Albus ever returning his feelings. Surely Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity for them to figure it all out. 

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Sit On My Lap (Josh Dun) (Twenty One Pilots)

Word Count: 443

Y/N

You stand in the doorway of the class you teach at your local pre-school laughing under your breath at your husband Josh. He didn’t think you’d ever call in the favour he owed you from last year, but this opportunity was just too good to pass up and make Josh look like an idiot all day.

The guy who usually dressed up as Santa for your class had bailed out last minute, and you’d talked Josh into dressing up instead so the small children could get to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas.

Josh wasn’t amused but quickly got into character giving the kids a great day of fun with Santa. Without his knowledge, you’d taken a few photos and sent them to Tyler, who now had fodder to use against Josh on their next tour.

“Josh is really good with kids’ y/n. Do I sense some small Duns in the future?”

Becky, your teaching assistant nudges you in the side. You’d love to have kids with Josh one day; the two of you would be great parents and give any child a great life.

~End of Day~

“Alright, kids say goodbye to Santa on your way out.”

All the kids wave at Josh as they leave the classroom who waves back. Josh sits back down looking exhausted from having children climb on him all day and tug his fake beard. You walk up to him and he smirks before pulling you onto his lap.

“Come sit on Santa’s lap little girl.”

You laugh, “Oh my god Santa you’re real!”

Josh chuckles, “what can Santa get for you this Christmas little lady?”

You squirm on his lap as he tickles your sides.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I’ve been naughty or nice Santa?”

“Oh I spoke to your husband y/n and he told me you’ve been a very good girl this year.”

A wicked idea pops into your head as you turn to face Santa Josh. You twirl your hair around your finger and bite your lip knowing it turned Josh on.

“But I want to be naughty this year Santa; we don’t have to tell my husband.”

You snake your arms around his neck and lean in capturing his lips. You bite down on his lip pulling moan from him.

“You really are a naughty girl y/n. Santa will keep your dirty little secret.”

Josh turns the table swiftly and takes control of the situation, and you let him because you loved dominant Josh. You knew Becky wanted you and Josh to have children, but you didn’t think she’d approve of what you were doing in the classroom.

Opening the Map

Lily Potter sat on her bed with a piece of folded up parchmentin front of her. She had finally nicked the map from her where her brother,James, kept it hidden. Lily had spent an entire summer looking and she’d almostgiven up until she realized the Halloween feast tonight would keep everyonebusy for a few hours. As much as she hadn’t wanted to skip the feast, shecouldn’t pass up the opportunity to nick the map. It was a good thing too.James, probably less concerned than usual about the map’s safety now that hewas busy snogging his new girlfriend all the time. Either that, or he’d rushedoff to stuff his face at the Halloween feast and not bothered to hide itproperly. Lily snickered, his knickers drawer, really? 

She’d known about the map, of course, since James firstnicked it from their Dad’s office during his first Christmas break home fromHogwarts. They had overheard their Uncle George talking to Dad about it, although Lily had a sneaking suspicion that maybe Uncle George had wanted them to learn about it because she was quite sure his eyes had flickered towards their hiding spot on the stairs. James was the only one at Hogwarts then, so she hadn’t minded much when he’d been the one to find it. It wasn’t of any use to her. Now, though, she felt she deserved a chance to pull some pranks of her own without the worry of being caught. Not to mention the secret passage ways to Hogsmeade would be great to have access to. 

Now, if only she could remember how James had accessed it. He’d certainly bragged about figuring it out enough. Lily swore at herself for deciding to ignore his bragging, she could only remember how to close the map. That wasn’t helpful at the moment though. She hesitated, holding her wand above the old parchment, then tried the first thing that came to mind.

“Open,” Nothing. Lily mentally rolled her eyes at herself, that had been a stupid guess. Who in their right mind would make it that easy to get in?

“Please show me Hogwarts?” Again, nothing.

“I have things to manage?” That was a stupid variation on how to close the map, but Lily didn’t know what else to do but try anything that popped into her head. She was not going to give this back to James after finally getting ahold of it.

Thirty minutes later Lily was running out of ways to try and open the map. What was the point of going to the trouble of getting the map if she couldn’t use it? She was mindlessly tapping her wand on the parchment out of irritation.

“Oh come on, I just want to pull a few pranks without getting caught–Oh!” 

To her surprise words started to form on the page. 

Mr. Moony offers his compliments to whoever is wanting to create some mischief, but must sadly inform them that unless you swear we can’t share.

Mr. Wormtail solemnly agrees, it’s such a shame they won’t be able to manage.

Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that even if they were up to no good, they couldn’t out-prank the Marauders. We are the Kings at this school.

Mr. Prongs agrees and wonders who might possibly be trying to swear they are up to no good? 

Lily was stunned, this was the oddest map ever. The words started to fade and she quickly tapped the map again, deciding to just go with it.

“Lily, my name is Lily.”

Lily?

The writing seemed to almost hesitate, then started up again as her name faded away.

Mr. Moony is wondering why Lily would be pulling a prank?

Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Prongs is sharing things he aught not to be

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs is trying to impress Miss Prongs and deserves a detention cleaning bedpans in the Hospital Wing, the prat.

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot is a git and is sure Lily could pull a prank if she was serious.

Mr. Padfoot thinks there’s a strong possibility that Miss Prongs is, in fact, not serious.

Mr. Moony would like to share his disapproval in Mr. Padfoot’s poor taste in jokes.

Now she was really confused. She felt like she was being discussed by people–not even people, but a map!– as if she weren’t in the room! Lily tried not to feel insulted, she could pull a prank better than almost anyone. Kings? She may as well call herself Queen then. After all, everyone knows who really runs things in a kingdom. She’d learned from James, after all, and watched out all the ways he got caught. Lily almost never got caught, not to mention that she’d perfected the art of talking her way out of trouble. And if she could just figure out how to open this map, there would be no more obstacles to trying to out-do James.

“I pull amazing pranks!” she said indignantly while tapping the map again, before reminding herself she was getting huffy with a map.

Mr. Padfoot is sure Miss Prongs can pull pranks now since apparently Mr. Prongs wants to assist her with our secrets.

Mr. Moony wonders if Miss Prongs should focus on her homework instead?

Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Prongs is thinking with his head?

Mr. Prongs would like to inform everyone he has no idea what they are talking about.

Mr. Padfoot would like to kindly ask his best mate to come off it, and thinks Mr. Prongs is trying to hard to win Miss Prongs over.

Miss Prongs? Win her over? What the actual hell was going on? Lily was starting to think maybe the magic on the map was starting to wear off. After all, it had been her dad’s while he was at school, and her Uncle’s before that. And it sounded like these people had made the map, and who knows how long ago that was. She looked down to see three different handwritings that all seemed very busy picking on the one called Mr. Prongs while continuously referring to her as Miss Prongs, which seemed to be a running joke. She signed, if he was being singled out then she guessed she should probably use that to her advantage. Boys were always so obvious. 

“Mr. Prongs, I, Lily, request assistance opening the map,” she made herself sound as confident as possible. The written argument between the four of them stopped mid scroll and faded.

Mr. Padfoot wants Mr. Prongs to know he’s going to break his broomstick the next time he sees him.

Mr. Prongs would like Lily to know she can always ask him for help.

Mr. Moony would like to inform Mr. Prongs that he’s pathetic.

Mr. Wormtail agrees that Mr. Prongs is…up to no good.

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Wormtail should shut his fat mouth

Lily grinned, “I swear I am!” only the handwriting from Mr. Prongs appeared after that.

Do you solemnly swear?

“I solemnly swear! I solemnly swear I’m up to no good!” Lily almost yelled, laughing triumphantly as the map blossomed over the pages like watercolor with hundreds of labels in the Great Hall. It was obvious why James was so keen to keep this nearby.

“Bloody hell, this is fantastic!” She wanted to jump up and down like a five year old at Christmas. Once she had calmed herself down she watched the map until the giant mass of students in the Great Hall began to disperse towards the four Common Rooms.

Reluctantly tapped the paper and whispered “Mischief managed.”

Of course she would be sharing this with her friends tomorrow, but for tonight she just wanted to keep the victory to herself. There was something about the map that she felt almost drawn to. It was silly, she thought, to be affectionate towards a map, but here she was, grinning like she just made a new friend. Climbing into her bed, she drew her wand one last time for the night, and tapped the map.

“Thanks Mr. Prongs, you’re the best.”

Lily felt a bit stupid, but she did owe him. Whoever he was. However this charm worked, the person who cast it trusted her for some reason. She wondered vaguely why as tucked the map away where she was sure her brother wouldn’t look. Not that it mattered much, she thought. As far as she knew, there was no way for him to get up to the girls’ dormitories. She smiled into her pillow, all the while missing the last message scrawled across the paper, fading into nothing.

Always for you, Evans.