it was the moment i finally loved jeremy

broadway song summarys Newsies

overture- hold onto your newsie caps, this is gonna be one wild ride.

santa fe (prologue)- might as well get the tissues now.

carrying the banner- *THE JUMP*

the bottom line- here comes the big, bad wolf.

that’s rich- saasssssss.

i never planned on you- katherine just being salty and sarcastic.

the world will know- unioned we stand.

watch what happens- write it good…

seize the day- papes, papes everywhere. danced on, thrown at the audience, thrown at each other, everywhere.

santa fe- somebody help this kid, he’s literally obsessed with santa fe.

king of new york- race says some things nobody can understand, then starts a party despite the fact that jack and crutchie are nowhere to be found.

letter from the refuge- oh, your heart? let me crush it for you.

watch what happens (reprise)- poOR GUUYYS HEAAD IS SPINning.

the bottom line (reprise)- “it’s a compromise we can all live with.”

brooklyn’s here- never fear, brooklyn is here… and we forgot our sleeves.

something to believe in- cue the super sappy, we love each other kiss scene.

once and for all- *THE MOMENT*

finale- no no no it can’t be over already. again again again.

((Jeremy and Michael are having a duel to see who has the stronger avatar. For the moment it looks like Jeremy has won the upper hand, he has Michael pinned and is about to deal the final blow to win but then Michael’s eyes go half-lidded, a dopey smile comes onto his face and a red flush spreads across his cheeks and he says, dreamily, “I love you”

Jeremy is totally caught off guard, immediately his face goes bright pink and his mouth drops open. Michael takes the opportunity and deftly flips them over before holding his staff to Jeremy’s throat, raising his eyebrows and giving him the smuggest grin.

Ny0, after realizing he’d been tricked, holds his hands up in surrender. Then he glares at Ehm half-heartedly and mumbles, “You cheated”

And then Michael smartly responds with, “All’s fair in love and war, babe”))

We make a lot of fun of Raoul for not keeping his hand at the level of his eyes, which is what makes this moment so heartbreaking for me. Here, he does remember, but chooses to put his hand down to comfort Christine, making himself vulnerable to attack, because he can’t see Christine upset and not try to help. The Phantom sees this and takes advantage of Raoul’s moment of weakness, motivated by a selfless love that, at this point, he still can’t understand. I’ve only seen Raoul do this once, but I wish it happened more often, because it only adds to the emotional pain of the Final Lair. [source] 

3

Jeremy is the nerd friend Wynonna never had in school and Wynonna is the cool friend who stop the bullies that Jeremy never had as well. So that’s why he soft bullies her with nerdy stuff and she soft bullies him with all the ‘’shut up nerd’’ stuff. Also, another headcanon of mine is that they bingewatch breaking bad (its canon that Wyn likes it) when they have time to stop killing demons and Jeremy buys ice cream for her and he is finally happy he can do it because he is the science guy and he knows from the beggining and she never says it out loud because she is Wynonna, after all, but she is glad they are friends and she helps him on Tinder because how many open gay guys you can find hanging out in a bar on Purgatory? 

Playing Sports With Your Nerd Does Not Make A Good Date (Part 1/6)

Level one: Morning routine

     The day started simple enough. Michael was the first to wake up. The first waking minutes of the day were spent taking in his surroundings and letting the smile blossom across his face at the realization that he was being cuddled. Even in sleep, the fluffy heap of limbs and poofy hair that was his boyfriend had taken to clinging to his boyfriend. He took in the sensation of the stomach pressed to his back, the chin resting on his shoulder, and the legs tangled with his own. This was real. He could feel it with his every cell and smell the amalgam of scents that made up his boyfriend. It had already been a year and Michael still couldn’t get over the fact that this was real-that he was able to stay in one place with the one person he loved the most who accepted him completely for who he was. Michael was grinning from ear to ear by the time he was fully awake and sure that this fantastic reality he could never have dreamed of was truly his reality.

     Once awake, Michael next took to the task of getting out of bed. This was the difficult part of the morning. Each day Michael took on the task of untangling himself from Jeremy without waking him. With the way Jeremy adjusted himself in his sleep to take in as much of his boyfriend’s heat as possible, Michael would always find that he and his boyfriend had become some sort of sleeping pretzel or linked-up puzzle. Luckily, puzzles were Micheal’s specialty. Slowly uncoil a leg there, turn gently here, push a stuffed animal between his shoulder and Jeremy’s head there, and eventually pull and Indiana Jones by filling in the vacancy Michael’s body left with a large pillow or giant stuffed dolphin, and he was free. Jeremy would always complain about the intricate arrangement of pillows and plush toys that he would roll onto when he woke up. Michael would laugh and say that Jeremy should be less of a cute and cuddly sleeper. Jeremy would pout and say that he wasn’t cute, but would return to his sleeping habits the next night with no hesitance. Christine once asked if they ever got tired of the having the same argument. The answer from both Jeremy and Michael was an indignant, “No.”

     Michael gave one last warm glance to Jeremy as he replayed the memory in his mind. His boyfriend responded by nuzzling the paopu fruit-shaped bean bag in his sleep. Right. Onto making breakfast.

Michael knew the moment Jeremy was awake by the ping on his phone. He set the frying pan off the flame before checking his phone. Sure enough, Jeremy sent him a text saying, “My boyfriend abandoned me. Hurry upstairs! I need a hug.” Michael popped four slices of bread in the toaster before responding. “How about you come down stairs instead. I hear your boyfriend is waiting with breakfast.” Michael began to set the table while he waited for the response. In his mind, he pictured Jeremy burrowing himself in the sheets and pouting, then swinging himself to sit on the bed for a better texting position. While Michael was placing the plates on the table, he felt his phone buzz with a new text. “I’m lonely! :(“ it read.

     Michael snorted. “Then come downstairs so you’re not lonely, you big goof!” He called. At this point, Christine and Rich had already woken up and prepared a bowl of cereal and pop tart respectively.

     A groan reverberated throughout the house, signaling Jeremy’s surrender to join the waking world. Christine and Michael both laughed while Rich glanced at his phone and slipped something under Michael’s plate to assist Jeremy in his revenge. Michael decided to ignore it until after everyone was done eating. When he collected the plates and bowls, a slip of fluorescent yellow paper was waiting for him. “I abandoned my boyfriend and all I got was a passive-aggressive sticky note,” was scrawled in red gel pen. It was one of the tamer morning revenges he’d received. The tackle Jeremy attempted moments later made up for it.


((This is?? So cute??? What the heck I’m. I need to sit down and breathe bc this is freaking adorable also I’m sorry it took so long for me to post hnnngh

AND THEY HAVE?? A PAOPU PILLOW?? I’M MCFREAKIN SOBBING M8

FANTASTIC WORK, FRIEND-O…I can’t wait for the next installment!))

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Ships: Boyf Riends, RichJake, and Pinkberry

To understand the story a little better here’s part 1

Michael didn’t know what to think of his first prom. Rich had picked him up at 6, Michael’s moms taking pictures and going on about how proud they were of their little boy going on his first date. Then Michael and Rich had met up with the rest of the squad, minus Jeremy, who’d said he’d prefer being at home than in a crowded room dancing awkwardly alone.

The actual prom was at the local event center and it’d been decorated beautifully (Christine and Jenna had both helped, Jenna being on student council and Christine just being the kind person she was had volunteered)

He stared at Rich, who had his eyes fixed on Jake and Chloe on the dance floor. Despite having gotten back together at the Halloween party last year, everyone could tell Jake and Chloe weren’t happy with the relationship, but that was for them to decide and not their friends.

Rich and Michael stood off to the side along with a few loner guys who hadn’t managed to get dates. Rich wore a short sleeved white dress shirt with red vest, Michael wore a similar outfit but with red shirt and black vest.

The song playing was a slow one, which was why every couple was on the dance floor.

It all seemed perfect, for someone else. Michael couldn’t help but feel as if something was off. It was like he was going through the motions… but not feeling the emotion. And Michael knew exactly why, everything felt wrong with out Jeremy, just as it had the months Jeremy had ignored Michael because of the SQUIP.

Michael wanted to be here with Jeremy, not Rich, and Michael could tell Rich was also thinking about someone else. Well… they might as well try and enjoy themselves.

“Rich,” Michael broke the silence.

Rich didn’t take his eyes off the dance floor, “Yeah.”

“You wanna go dance or something?”

Sighing Rich bowed his head and slowly turned to look at Michael, “Look Michael… you see… I uh, I need to tell you something. I haven’t been exsactly honest with you.”

“What is it?”

“There’s a reason I asked you to prom… and…” Rich’s eyes darted around, avoiding eye contact with Michael, “It’s because I was trying to make someone jealous. I’m sorry… you’re a great guy and all, and a friend of Jeremy’s but…”

“No I get it,” Michael shook his head, cutting Rich off, Michael looked at Jake, “You asked me to make Jake jealous, didn’t you.”

“Is it really that obvious?” Rich asked nervously.

Michael chuckled, “Yup, we’ve all noticed you swooning over him these past few weeks. Plus it’s pretty funny how jealous you get when he mentions Chloe.”

“I’m really sorry Mike, I just… couldn’t resist the chance to make him feel the same way.”

“Don’t sweat it, honestly I was expecting- well hoping someone specific was going to ask me,” Michael confessed to Rich.

Rich gave a knowing stare and winked, “Jeremy right? Come one don’t deny you’ve had the hots for him since forever.”

Looking out on the crowd of couples Michael spotted Chloe slapping Jake and going off with Brooke who was standing next to Chloe and glaring at Jake. He wondered what had happened, Jenna would probably tell everyone about it tomorrow.

“Hey,” Michael nudged  Rich and pointed at Jake now standing alone, “Looks like there’s trouble in paradise. Why don’t you go talk to him.”

“You sure?”

Michael nodded and shrugged, “Can’t hurt right?”

“Yeah! You’re right, thanks Mike,” Rich walked off, strolling through the dance floor.

Now Michael was alone at a party, once again. And once again Jeremy wasn’t there to help… to make things better like he always did. Michael wished he was with Jeremy right now, they could play video games and laugh at whatever drama had happened between Chloe and Jake. Almost as if life was screwing with him the song changed and Michael recognized the chorus, the same one he’d heard a drunk girl sing last Halloween. Michael just wanted to be home with his best friend…

“Michael!” Michael had to be imagining the voice, he had said he wasn’t going to show up, there was no way Jeremy Heere would be here right now.

However as Michael turned, there was his Player 2, dressed in a suit and tie, his brown hair and blue eyes shinning in the lights.

It took all of Michael’s will power not to run and kiss Jeremy at that moment, “Jer… you said you weren’t gonna come?”

Jeremy shrugged, grinning, “Yeah well, thought I had to see you and Rich to make sure you weren’t kidding.”

“Oh haha,” Michael rolled his eyes, but he knew he was also smiling.

“Where is Rich by the way?”

Michael gestured to where he’d last seen Jake, “Apparently he only asked me to make Jake jealous.”

“Ha, looks like we’ve now both been dumped by people trying to make Jake jealous,” Jeremy sighed, turning to the table behind the two and pouring two cups of punch, handing one to Michael.

“Well, least we still have each other,” Michael smiled taking the cup.

Jeremy nodded, “Yup.”

Michael took his cup and clinked it against Jeremy’s, “To best friends.”

“To a two player game,” Jeremy said and the two boys giggled taking a drink of the punch.

Now this, this felt perfect. Just Michael and Jeremy hanging out like they always did. They sat in silence for a minute, though unlike with Rich it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was just calm. Michael wished he could freeze time, live in this moment forever.

“Jeremy… I love you,” Michael didn’t know what had come over him. It wasn’t alcohol and it wasn’t weed, he hadn’t touched any all day. Michael reached for Jeremy’s hand, “I-i don’t want to lose you again…”

Years of pining and hoping, of losing Jeremy to others, Michael finally said what he’d always wanted to. The colorful lights shone on Jeremy’s face, the music punctuating the silence.

“Michael I don’t… I don’t know what to say,” Jeremy had a shocked but happy expression, and his voice sounded as giddy as Michael felt. Then slowly his mouth formed a sneer as Jeremy pulled his hand away, “I can’t believe you would think I would sink that low, why would I want to be with you?”

“Jer-” Michael’s heart felt as if it’d been stabbed with a sharp knife. He didn’t understand, why would Jeremy say something like that?

“Me, a fag like you? Are you really that desperate? Even Rich didn’t want to be here with you, he left you to go off with Jake.”

Jeremy’s voice was cold and harsh, like stepping outside during a blizzard after having been in a warm cabin with a blazing fire.

Michael tried not to cry, but the tears welled up in his eyes and his voice cracked as he spoke, “h-how could you say that?! After… after everything we’ve been through? I thought you of all people would understand!?”

“Your so pathetic, honestly. Why don’t you go be a loser fag by yourself and get out of my sight.”

Jeremy blinked, what had just happened? Michael had just said he’d loved him and… now Michael was heading towards the exit of the room, crying!?

“MICHEAL!” Jeremy shouted after him, but it was too late.

Had Jeremy just blanked out or something? Why was there a huge blank between now and a minute ago?

“Oh hey Jeremy!” Brooke said coming up to him, Chloe right next to her, “Glad you could make it,” Brooke pointed at the cup Jeremy was holding, “hey um Jenna told us to tell everyone that the punch was made with Mountain Dew.”

Jeremy looked from Brooke back to the door as he put the pieces together. His eyes widening as the guilt settled in.

“Oh god… what the fuck have I done…”

Stars
Jeremy Secomb
Stars

7th January 2017 

Jeremy Secomb’s final Stars before going on sabbatical.

Usually, during the curtain call after the cast have taken their bows, everyone runs off stage except the actor playing Jean Valjean, who turns back to the audience for another bow, and then the rest of the cast run back on for a final group bow.

For this performance, both Simon Gleeson and Jeremy Secomb stayed on stage, and it was a lovely moment of just Valjean and Javert on stage being happy and adorable together. (They didn’t go full Wilkinson/Quast at the end of the TAC, but it was enough.) 

I miss him already 💔.

Fighting For Your Attention (Kol Mikaelson) (Jeremy Gilbert) (non-slash)

Imagine both Kol and Jeremy having feelings for you, and are constantly fighting for your attention.

 

It was an average Friday night, and you were bored. You wanted to do something, but you didn’t know what. When you heard your phone beep, you smiled. Either it was someone who wanted to hang out, or there was a new problem. It turned out Jeremy, one of your best friends who has a crush on you, asked if you wanted to hang out at the Grill to play pool and darts. At first you were you were hesitant, because you didn’t want to give him the wrong idea, but you agreed anyways. Besides, he’s still your best friend.

Sure, Jeremy was nice and all, but you didn’t feel  the same way towards him. You were into the bad boys, and you were annoyed that your friends kept you away from the Mikaelson boys, and don’t forget Damon. But they never could stop you. You have a rebellious spirit, but on the inside all you wanted was for someone to care about you, to need you in their life.

You pulled on a pair of black ripped jean with chains, a tank top, and a leather jacket, along with a scarf to cover the bite marks on your neck, and you pulled on your shoes. Yes you get bitten, by Kol, and you enjoy it. You like the feeling of adrenaline, along with the feeling of being needed, even if it’s only for sustenance. Everyone thinks Kol is always cruel, but he’s not, when he wants to be he can be the most caring, and affectionate person in the entire world.

You grabbed your car keys, and then you ran down the stairs. Just as you were about  to open the door, you felt an unnatural breeze inside of your house, and then a hand on your shoulder. You smiled, already knowing who it was.

“Where do you think you’re going, darling?" Kol said gently, as if not to startle you. You never recalled him speaking that genuinely gentle to anyone before. Not even his family. "I have a life too, Kol. If I blow everyone off for you, they’ll know something is up, and never leave me alone.” you said as you lightly placed your hand on his that was still on your shoulder.

“But why do you have to hang out with him?” he asked, as he spun you around to face him. “Because I’ve known him for years, if I stop hanging out with him, red flags will go up.” you said shaking your head. “But you’re mine! Do I have to write it in blood for you?" Kol said, getting possessive and jealous. His grip on your shoulder tightened, and you faintly winces, and he let up his grip instantly. He often forgets  how fragile you are. ”(Y/N),  I’m sorry, darling.“ he said, sounding ashamed of himself. You sighed, and you hugged him tight.

"I know Kol, I know you are. You didn’t mean it, and I’m yours, but I can’t just drop my life for you, not just yet. When I’m ready, I’ll let you turn me, then you can take me far away.” you said, and  you pushed up onto your tiptoes, and you kissed him lightly. “I’ll see you later darling. I’ll be waiting here for you.” he whispered. You smiled up at him, and then left, closing the door behind you.

You walked out into your car, and then drove off towards the grill, where you’ll be meeting Jeremy. Your phone rang, disrupting the silence, and you jumped slightly. You answered the phone and put it on speaker, without checking the caller I.D.

“Hello?” you said. “Hey, where are you?” Jeremy asked. “I’m on my way now, I got distracted.” you said to him. “With what?” he asked. “Does it matter? You know I get distracted easily.” you said, feeling defensive. “Only when you don’t take your meds.” Jeremy said. “Yeah I didn’t take them, I stopped a while ago.” you admitted. “Why?” he asked. “Because they made my insomnia worse.” you half lied.  The main reason was, because Kol hated how they made your blood taste, and also the insomnia thing.

“You know you need to take them.” he said. “I’m fine.” you said, beginning to get annoyed. You heard him sigh, but he let it go, and you were grateful, because you didn’t want to fight, he would end up making you upset, and then be comforted by Kol, and then he would hurt Jeremy, and you didn’t want that to happen.

You parked your car at the Grill, and then you went into the building once you made sure the scarf was securely in place, Jeremy smiled when he saw you, and you walked over to where he was. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked excited, and you laughed lightly. “About to kick your ass.” you said grabbing a pool stick. “Nope, my ass is not losing tonight.” he said defensive. “You sure about that?” you said as you raised an eyebrow to look at him, as you put chalk on the end of your stick, and you weighed it in your hands. Kol had taught you how to properly get a feel for the stick, and how to beat anyone, by positioning the stick in a certain spot.

“So how did you get so good anyways? You never used to be this good.” he said as he began putting the balls in the triangle. “I practiced with someone.” you said, alluding towards Kol, and you smiled at the thought of him. “Well, they must be a very good teacher, you think they might give me a few pointers?” he joked. You rolled your eyes, and you shrugged your shoulders.

“So where have you been lately?” he asked you, concerned, after a few hits of the balls. “I’ve been busy.” you said. “With what?” he asked curious. You rolled your eyes, knowing that you would have to give some satisfactory lie for him. “I’ve been doing research about my mother. I’ve been taking trips down to Richmond. She was a witch you know, making me one.” I said.

“You never told me that.” he said. “Do I have to tell you everything?” you said rolling your eyes. Yes that was indeed the truth, but you knew about your mother, you’ve known you were a witch for a while. But you have been going down to Richmond, but to help Kol with finding information about something Kol wants. You hated being a witch, so that’s another reason why you want Kol to turn you.

“Well if it’s something that big, then yes, you kind of do.” Jeremy said. “I like having my privacy.” you muttered, but you were thankful that he got distracted with the conversation, by putting a ball in the pocket.

You were about to make a hit, but you felt Jeremy come up behind you, and run his hand down you back, and you stood up straight, and whipped around to glare at him. “What the hell was that?” you said to him. “It was a reflex, I’m sorry.” he stuttered, but he kept staring at your scarf, and before you could do anything, he ripped it off, and he gasped at what he saw.You brought your hair around your neck, to hide it, and you grabbed the scarf from him. But what he saw wasn’t just bite marks, there were also hickies.

“(Y/N), what happened? I thought you stayed away from all vampires.” he said shocked. “Well you guessed wrong.” you said as you put the scarf back on, and you finally met his eyes and you saw they held many emotions, but you didn’t seem fazed. “Who did this to you? If it’s against your will, we can help you.” Jeremy said, assuming that you were innocent in all of this.

“They’re from me, darling loves it when I bite her neck during sex." Kol said coming out from who knows where. He placed his hand on your lower back, and you shivered at his touch. "Or in general.” he added after a moment of thought. “Is he compelling you, is he forcing you?” Jeremy said, assuming the worse.

“Jeremy, he isn’t, I’m wearing vervain, and he has no idea where I where it, and he hasn’t even tried to compel me. And is it so bad that I actually like it?” you said, finally speaking up. Kol pulled you close to his side, and you felt protected in his embrace. “What happened to you? How could you let this monster bite you?” he asked, sounding dumbfounded. “He’s not a monnster. You just don’t see the side of him I see. Kol, c'mon, let’s go.” you said, leading him out of the Grill, hand in hand, into the night, ready for him to take you away from this place.

prompt: That’s the third time I’ve saved your life!”

For @ryanthecreepyguy <3 <3 thank you for your kindness!

“Okay,” Jeremy declares, “This is becoming a bit ridiculous now. Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

He breaks off, pausing to get his breath back. His heart is still pounding as he lowers his sword, dripping with sticky blue blood, and turns to look at Gavin.

The bard is sitting on the forest floor, trying to get sticky spider web off himself. It’s not going very well. His hands keep sticking to everything, and as Jeremy watches, he literally slaps himself in the face while flailing about.

Jeremy rolls his eyes, and sits down as well to drink some water.

“Of course not, Lil’ J,” Gavin replies, once he’s mostly sorted himself out. “But thank you for saving me!”

Keep reading

finnseth  asked:

Congrats, jerevin <3

This is so late it probably shouldn’t exist. I don’t even know if jerevin is still a thing, that’s how out of touch I am with the fandom. However, please enjoy some pure tooth rotting fluff and expect a dragon story from me soon

-

He wakes to the feeling of scratchy kisses being placed on his stomach and the sound of light, mischievous laughter filling the room.

“Jeremy,” he hears, still struggling to open his eyes so that he can look and the undoubtedly beautiful boy in his bed. “Come on, cowboy. Time to get up. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

That manages to push past his sleep induced haze and he manages to murmur a jumbled, “‘prise?” as he finally gets his eyes opened and gazes down at a widely grinning Gavin Free who is currently draped across the bottom half of his body, head propped up on hands adorned with golden rings resting on his bare chest. “What surprise?”

“A surprise for our special day!” Gavin coos, scooting forward to press a kiss to Jeremy’s lips. Jeremy kisses back even though his still sleepy brain seems to be trying to tell him to think about what his boyfriend just said. He ignores it, finding it much easier just to bask in the attention Gav seems willing to spend on him so early in the morning. With a laugh, Gavin starts to pull away even as Jeremy chases after him for another kiss. “Now come on, love. Enough of that, I’ve got a whole day planned! We don’t have time for that.”

Waking up a little more now, Jeremy grins playfully and bumps his forehead against Gav’s. “Must be some really important plans if you don’t want to spend the day in bed.”

“They are, I promise! I swear they’re good, I swear, J!”

Humming, Jeremy bumps his forehead against Gavin’s again the ducks in for a brief kiss and then another one. Despite his initial protests, Gavin doesn’t resist at all and accepts each kiss with a smile and one of his own. It’s only when Jeremy wraps his arms around the Brit and attempts to drag him down in an obvious attempt to get some more sleepy cuddles that Gavin finally pulls himself away and punches Jeremy in the chest.

“Oh no you don’t! You are going to get up if I have to drag you out of bed myself!”

With a wince, Jeremy finally fully sits up, rubbing at his chest. “You used to always fall for my charms, Gavy.”

“Yeah, back when your hair didn’t look like shit,” Gavin says with a giggle and a ruffle of Jeremy’s currently blue dyed hair. “You’re lucky your hat usually covers this monstrosity or no one would ever take you seriously.”

“Hey! Says the bleach blonde bimbo,” Jeremy counters, grabbing a pillow and bashing Gav in the side of the head with it. Gavin squeals and curls up and the two of them laugh as Jeremy beats him with the pillow until Gav manages to grab it and retaliate. Neither of them let up until Jeremy pins Gavin to the bed, laughing in triumph and joy. Giving a few weak attempts to get out of Jeremy’s hold, Gavin eventually gives up and falls back on the bed with a huff.

“Come on J,” he whines, “I gotta go get the surprise. I can’t do that with your fat ass holding me down, can I?”

“Hmmm,” Jeremy responds, ignoring the fat comment and pretending to think about it, not letting up on his hold on Gavin at all. “I dunno, what is it worth to you?”

In response, Gavin blows air into Jeremy’s face and grins when he flinches. “You’ll be the one missing out on a gift, not me.”

Jeremy pretends to think about it for a few seconds before letting go of Gavin’s wrists and climbing off of him. “Alright, you’ve convinced me. You’re free, now shower me with gifts before I change my mind,” he says, waving his boyfriend away.

Sticking his tongue out in response, Gavin gets off the bed and heads towards his desk where he picks up an envelope before returning to Jeremy’s side. “Here,” he says as he thrusts the envelope into Jeremy’s hands. “Open this and then we can get started on the rest of our plans. I already told Geoff we were going to take the day off so he knows not to expect us today and probably tomorrow too. I figure we’ll start by going to breakfast at that place you like with those smoothies-”

Jeremy smiles at Gavin fondly before actually looking at his gift and freezing in shock. ‘For our first anniversary’ is written across the front with a little heart with a happy face next to it. Even with Gavin still chattering on happily, Jeremy can’t help but blurt out, “You- you’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

Gavin freezes. “Oh, bollocks,” he says, eyes suddenly scared,“ are you not? Shit, forget I said anything.” In no time at all,  Gavin begins to get off the bed to run from the room, already intent on running from the rejection. However, when he reaches for the envelope, still in Jeremy’s hand, Jeremy pulls it into his chest. “Come on J,” he begs, “give it back. It was a mistake. Let me leave here with at least some of my dignity intact.”

“No, calm down Gav. We need to talk about this.”

Making another swipe at the envelope and missing, Gavin shakes his head. “We really, really don’t. I didn’t mean to fuck up, I swear, but you have to let me go now.” Going for the envelope one last time, Jeremy smacks his hand away.

“No!” He says firmly. “Just sit down and listen to me Gav. You didn’t even give me a chance to say anything.” When Gavin continues to eye the door as if waiting for his chance to escape, Jeremy grabs hold of his wrist and tugs him down onto the bed. “Now stay,” he commands, thrusting his finger in Gavin’s face. The Brit nods weakly, posture unnaturally demure and lacking the usual confidence that comes to him so easily. Satisfied that he isn’t suddenly going to bolt from the room, Jeremy takes one of his hands in his own. “Look, I wasn’t upset. You didn’t misunderstand my intentions. I want to be with you. I want this to be our one month anniversary and I want to have every other anniversary we possibly can. I want to fucking celebrate our fiftieth anniversary one day, if you’ll have me. I just didn’t know you were also serious about whatever it is we have together. We never talked about it.”

“Of course I’ll have you,” Gavin says softly, eyes fixed on their hands. “I thought I wasn’t being subtle. I want us to be together, you’re pretty much the best person I’ve ever met.”

“Good,” Jeremy says with an encouraging smile, “then we’re on the same page.” He gets up on his knees and strikes a pose. “Gavin Free, I will gladly accept accept whatever is in this envelope because I, Jeremy Dooley, love you and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Gavin laughs at that but he still just watches in silence as Jeremy opens up the envelope. Out falls a photograph of the two of them. He recognizes it from the first time Gavin and him had gone out on their own together, exactly one month ago. They’re at the pier, the ocean and beach in the background, and Jeremy’s arm is around Gavin, who is wearing Jeremy’s cowboy hat. Both of them are laughing in delight as Gavin takes the photo and Jeremy is watching Gavin like there’s nothing more important to him in the entire world. Jeremy smiles at it, and grins even harder when he turns the photo over and sees “1/??? To the best beginning.”

“See,” he says, turning the photo around for Gavin to see, “how could you look at this and not realize I’m completely fucking stupid about you. Now get over here.” He tucks his now flushed and smiling boyfriend into his side and grabs his phone, posing them quickly and making sure Gavin is smiling shyly up at the camera before snapping a photo.

“Here’s one more moment to add to the collection. We’ll have to get a book or something to put them all together.”

With a whining noise, Gavin stuffs his face into Jeremy’s side, mumbling something in response. Ruffling his hair, Jeremy wrestles him from out of his hiding place. “You’re going to have to repeat that Gavy, so I can actually hear it you nerd.” He laughs as his lover pouts before stuffing his face back into Jeremy’ side, tilting his head just enough so Jeremy can hear him this time as he says, “Michael will never let us hear the end of it if we become one of those couples.”

“I hate to break it to you buddy but we’re already one of those couples. Not that he can talk, we all saw him cry the first time Lindsay said she loved him.”

There’s silence for a long moment, Gavin mildly toying with the waistband of Jeremy’s boxers. Recognizing the signs of the golden boy wanting to say something but being unsure about it, Jeremy waits patiently, just basking in the soft morning and quiet moment with his boyfriend, still running off the high of the realization that this is his first major anniversary with Gavin. Finally, Gavin sighs and settles more firmly into Jeremy’s side.

“Love you, cowboy,” he whispers for the first time.

Jeremy freezes before grinning so widely his face hurts. Ducking his head, he presses a kiss to the top of Gavin’s head.

“Love you too.”

2

Entire recap of S4 finale here: http://www.vanityfair.com/vf-hollywood/shameless-finale-shocking-twist

Glad to see someone else talk about the Lip & Mandy moment being powerful. That got overlooked in a lot of recaps (or, in one I read that seemed to be about an episode that didn’t air rather than the one that did, said that the finale showed Lip falling in love with Amanda… to which, no) I’ve read of the ep. That was a powerful moment between them and I hope to see more scenes between them in S5.

And, of course, the Gallavich heartbreak. But Mickey’s in it for the long haul with his man. I can’t wait to see how this plays out in S5. Noel Fisher really killed those scenes opposite Emmy Rossum. 

Growing Some Balls

I recently discovered my “other” message box on Facebook. Did you know you have an “other” box? I always assumed I only had one box. I was wrong. And what I found in there is now consuming me.

As some of you remember, a year ago I got fired from Casino Niagara, after some very sexual heckling. After enduring a night of men chanting,

“Show Us Your Tits!”

and

“Show Us Your Bush!”

I complained to the manager, asking why she didn’t do anything. (We get memos from Casino Niagara telling us NOT to speak back to the crowd, among a dozen other memos.) The audience is mostly people who have been comped free tickets after losing mass amounts of money, then allowed to heavily drink, so that more gambling will occur after the show. As a girl with her Smart Serve, I’m well aware of what over served patrons look like. When I complained, the female employee said,

“Sorry. I thought you liked it.”

Obviously I didn’t like it. Who would? I’m terrible at standing up for myself, but I managed to choke up something, which inevitably got me banned from the club. (blog.walkinsauce.com if you want to read the whole story.) The blog ended up going viral. It was a huge lesson in how the Internet works. It was actually kind of scary. Usually I get excited to see that little @Connect button light up on Twitter. But after my xojane.com article posted, I was overwhelmed. It was terrifying how many eyes were on me- and for such a negative experience. I turned off my phone and went to sleep at 1:00pm. I never expected my big break to be a scandal.

I never mentioned it publically before, but I have emails saved from the night after that show. (Well, I use the word “saved” loosely. I’m the kind of girl that leaves thousands of emails in my inbox. I’m super disorganized like that. Also, deleting emails seems easier on your phone than on your computer, eh?) The manager was taken aback about my concerns. Apparently I didn’t seem “rattled” enough while I was on stage. But she also admitted that she’s still trying to figure out “what comedians like, and don’t like.” Well, comedians aren’t big fans of hecklers in general, but we can deal with them if you let us. One of my favourite thoughts on the subject was what Dean Blundell said when I did his show.

“Christina, that was NOT heckling. Heckling is “You suck!” or “Get off the stage!” What you endured was sexual harassment.”

He’s right. And that’s a fight I should have fought harder for.

Through that whole episode, I was never completely honest. I always said that Yuk Yuk’s was not to blame in all this. I was scared to lose my gigs in their clubs. Nothing means more to comics than stage time. And even though I only make somewhere between $250- $600 a month via the company, I still need that money. (I blame my expensive taste in cheese.) But now that I’ve stumbled upon all these old messages, and discover how many people actually cared about me, and tried to reached me through my own agency, I’m upset again. I protected the company so that I would still have a job. But now I discover they blocked me from all this support. I’m a real life idiot, you guys. The truth is…

They were never on my side.

Before I ever blogged about the incident, I made it a Facebook status update. It got 100’s of comments. I had never had anything that serious on my wall before. Usually my statuses pertain to seeing how long I can go without a shower, or asking if any tall people wanna come over and change my lightbulbs. When my boss at Yuk Yuk’s caught wind of my update, I got a phone call from him. I was scared. I knew I was in trouble.

“I’m going to incorporate a new clause in my contracts where comics aren’t allowed to post about the company on their social media.”

For those of you who don’t know, we all have to sign exclusivity contracts when we sign with the company. This sites that we’re not allowed to take any work outside the company. They can’t possibly give us all enough work to live, but we all sign it, because we want the stage time. And then we all keep second jobs, or live below the poverty line. (If I was smarter, I’d know if this is actually legal.)

When my blog hit the interweb, the response was powerful. It’s weird when you think the way you’re treated is normal, post about it publicly, then learn it’s NOT! People were mad. It wasn’t long til I got a call from my boss. He was furious. Not at the casino, but at me, for speaking out. He yelled at me. The casino had been getting phone calls about my blog, and was now mad at Yuk Yuk’s. I get it. Everyone in Casino Niagara commercials are having the BEST TIME! In reality, most people leave wondering if they saved enough money for parking. (Also in my “other” box: TONS of messages from ex-employees of the casino, confirming they were treated as shitty as me.) Well, I guess Yuk Yuk’s and Casinos have something in common: Profit trumps human rights.

My boss is raging. He yells into the phone:

“I can’t afford to lose that club! They pay their bills on time! I’m not on your side! I’m on the casino’s side! I don’t care about comics! I care about money!”

I was so scared. I burst out crying. I never meant to “bite the hand that feeds you” or whatever that cliche is. He went on to tell me a story I know many comics have heard over the years.

“Lemme tell you a story. Once upon a time, back in the 80’s a comic asked me for a raise. He said, “But they’re all coming to see ME!” So I taught him a lesson. I went to a graveyard, and found a dead guy’s name. I took it, put it on the marquee that night, and the club was STILL packed. People don’t come to see a specific comedian. People come for the Yuk Yuk’s brand.”

At the time I couldn’t disagree. Who am I? Nobody. Nobody really knew who I was. In fact, one of the saddest facts of being a comedian is that a lot of people leave the comedy club, having loved the show, but never remember your name.

Then he put his 3-year old son on the phone for me to talk to. When my conversation with the toddler was over, he reminded me that he has to make money to put food on the table for his family.

“You better hope this doesn’t go to the press.”

My heart was pounding in fear.

I.WAS.BALL-LESS.

It did hit the press. Obvi. I tiptoed through the local radio and TV stations that managed to reach me. (NOBODY reached me through my agents. Nice to pay people commission to be hidden from the world, eh?) I praised Yuk Yuk’s for not being the bad guy in this. Were they ever by my side in any of these interviews? Never. They didn’t want to ruin their relations with the casino. But I never wanted to say anything bad about them, because I didn’t want to lose my gigs in Mississauga next month. (The manager there, Dom is awesome. He actually cares about comedy.)

I did everything I could to appease my boss. We both prayed the attention over this issue would go away. I have this weak habit in life of not fixing problems. I just learn how to use broken things.

I finally left Yuk Yuk’s a year later. I sent an amicable letter quitting. I wasn’t mean. I am greatful for all the growing I did on their stages. But a year after my “Show Us Your Tits, Show Us Your Bush” night, with no support from the man’s name above that logo, I felt gross. I couldn’t tell jokes under that brand for one more minute. I’m actually embarrassed I stayed that long. I had been selling my soul, for the bargain price of $125 a show.

I actually can’t believe I’m writing this. I’ve been called out for having a “fear of being hated.” It’s true. I get along with everybody, possibly even people I shouldn’t. I never read the comments on anything I do. Everything on my YouTube page was posted by others. (I’m terrified of YouTube, cuz in my opinion, that’s where Internet hate goes to soar.) I ditched this wordpress site after the incident. I was too scared to see what people were saying, so I started a new blog on Tumblr, where people can only hit little heart buttons. (Phew!) And because so many of my friends still work for Yuk Yuk’s, I feel bad speaking out against the club. I know these comics really want work. Stage time to a comic is a drug. I get it. Plus, some clubs are actually ran well. Howard Wagman in Ottawa has brewed some of the best comics in the biz- Jon Dore, Jeremy Hotz, Harland Williams- (Is this a tacky time to mention this was MY first comedy club ever? How can I NOT be nostalgic of moments I had on that stage? One of my friends recently said, “I wish I could quit Yuk Yuk’s, but NOT Ottawa.”) The only reason I’m speaking out now is because I found multiple messages in my “other” box, asking me to be on Joy Behar’s show. Joy Behar!! She’s my facking hero! I love her. When I finally wrote the dude back, he wrote,

“We tried sooo hard to get you.”

Due to the exclusivity contract I had with Yuk Yuk’s, everyone should contact them to connect with me. It’s the way business is done as an entertainer. In fact, I would get in trouble if I booked a gig without going through them. But they didn’t want the press. And I never knew Joy Behar cared until now. (Though in my heart, I knew she cared! I willed her to find my story, and apparently she did.) These days the most attention I get from a celebrity is when Patti Stanger responds to my tweets.) There’s something I learned about myself this week. You can underpay me, you can send me shitty places, you can even control me… but if I find out you blocked me from meeting Joy Behar? Well…

Now I’m pissed.

When I find myself having regrets in life, I like to picture myself as Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors. Sure, maybe if I had been less of a coward last year, I’d be cooler right now… Maybe more successful… Maybe not still the owner of a three-legged couch. (I didn’t even get compensated for the $500 I lost that weekend.) But I have to convince myself that making any other moves back then would have lead me to being short haired Gwyneth. (And you DON’T want to end up short-haired Gwyneth. Trust me. I won’t mention any spoiler alert thingys, but come on people. The movie’s from 1998. You should have seen it by now.)

I often think back to that evening on the phone with my boss.

“I have to put food on the table to feed my family!”

I may be single, no kids, no fancy house… but guess what?

I have a table too.

Good riddance, Yuk Yuk’s,

Christina Walkinshaw

Christinawalkinshaw.com

(I know it’s 2014, but I just got a website. I love comedy. I suck as a businesswoman. But at least now, there’s no confusion how to reach me.)

The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Finale

Holy shit. It’s been a loooooooooooong ass time since I’ve felt so much during a TVD episode in it’s entirety; most of the time I only check in for Katherine, Bonnie, Caroline, Stefan and Steroline since this season sucked. I kinda zoned out at everything else. I was not impressed by the melodrama at all. But damn, I gotta say that this episode had me hooked pretty much from start to finish.

Prepare yourself, there be spoilers ahead.

  • Loved/Hated the fact that Caroline and Damon were the only ones truly upset over Stefan’s death no matter how non-permanent it was
  • Loved the fact that there were Stefan and Lexi bonding moments
  • Loved seeing Caroline getting shit done and not wasting time
  • Loved getting to see Silas the Sass Master if only for a little while
  • Loved that some characters were able to attain peace and move on before the Other Side collapsed or were sucked into an eternal void
  • Hated when Elena jumped into Damon’s plan so unnecessarily
  • Worried non-stop when Sheriff Forbes was caught in the blast
  • Loved that Damon and Alaric were able to reunite and help the Sheriff
  • Hated how worried Stefan was when he realized Damon hadn’t caught up to them
  • Hated how Stefan was so devastated after he accidentally touched Bonnie and forced himself back to the world of the living without his brother at his side
  • Loved that Lexi was able to find peace and left the Other Side with a big ‘fuck you’ to the ominous unknown
  • Hated that Elena chose to be with Damon instead of Bonnie–whom she’s known her whole life and was someone she 'loved’ dearly–during those final moments but no surprise there
  • HATED that Damon went to Elena instead of Stefan during his final moments
  • REALLY HATED that he only considered Elena’s love for him and was able to die happy 'knowing he was loved’ by her when his brother was crying into his best friend’s true love’s lap (not even five yards away) over the fact that he thought he was never going to see his brother again
  • Loved/Hated the fact that Caroline was the only person there for Stefan (only in the sense that I truly feel that Damon should have spent his last moments with him, Caroline present or not)
  • Hated that Elena was so wrapped up with her own damn feelings when another person she 'loved’ was about to lose her life but again no surprise there
  • CRIED when Jeremy didn’t get to Bonnie in time (and I’m not a fan of Beremy AT ALL)
  • LOVED that Bonnie and Damon met whatever was coming holding hands head-on and together

I just watched the DE scenes of 5x17. Sue me, I liked them a lot  more than 5x16.

So, my impressions listed.

I don’t think I agree that they’re making DE “too much about sex.” They’re attracted to each other! It’s natural! And as for talking about where they stand and discussing feelings - that never was natural for them. They speak through touches, looks, smiles and that “I don’t give a fuck if you hate me as long as you’re alive” attitude.

Yeah, that was all really hot. Also funny.

Like I wrote in some tags already, I loved how Damon is absolutely unfazed when Elena says that last night was a mistake. He doesn’t care in the slightest. Because she may say whatever she wants, but she loves him (and wants him), and as long as Damon knows that, he knows that somewhere down the road, they’ll find their way to each other.

(Now I want to write meta on their different attitudes to their breakup. What’s happening to me?)

I loved that Jeremy said “all of us” when he talked about moving out - and also looked at Damon over Elena’s shoulder. He didn’t say “both of us,” and he didn’t completely ignore Damon though he could’ve. This is the Gilbert family I love.

And to the final moment of understanding - it’s interestingly how Elena underestimates Damon’’s understanding of her. Can’t blame her, I would jump to the wrong conclusion, too, based on his attitude all day, but he understood.

That was a beautiful moment - a true illustration of that phrase about letting somebody go, and if they’re yours, they’ll come back. That moment felt anything but tragic and final. And given their track record of letting go of each other? Yeah.

Growing Some Facking Balls

(This blog is technically not about Tinder, but it is important for me to post. Somehow I’ve ended up with 3 blog sites. Why am I on the run from the internet?)

I recently discovered my “other” message box on Facebook. Did you know you have an “other” box? I always assumed I only had one box. I was wrong. And what I found in there is now consuming me.

As some of you remember, a year ago I got fired from Casino Niagara, after some very sexual heckling. After enduring a night of men chanting,

“Show Us Your Tits!”

and

“Show Us Your Bush!”

I complained to the manager, asking why she didn’t do anything. (We get memos from Casino Niagara telling us NOT to speak back to the crowd, among a dozen other memos.) The audience is mostly people who have been comped free tickets after losing mass amounts of money, then allowed to heavily drink, so that more gambling will occur after the show. As a girl with her Smart Serve, I’m well aware of what over served patrons look like. When I complained, the female employee said,

“Sorry. I thought you liked it.”

Obviously I didn’t like it. Who would? I’m terrible at standing up for myself, but I managed to choke up something, which inevitably got me banned from the club. (Link to old blog here blog.walkinsauce.com, if you wanna know the full story.) The blog ended up going viral. It was a huge lesson in how the Internet works. It was actually kind of scary. Usually I get excited to see that little @Connect button light up on Twitter. But after my xojane.com article posted, I was overwhelmed. It was terrifying how many eyes were on me- and for such a negative experience. I turned off my phone and went to sleep at 1:00pm. I never expected my big break to be a scandal.

I never mentioned it publically before, but I have emails saved from the night after that show. (Well, I use the word “saved” loosely. I’m the kind of girl that leaves thousands of emails in my inbox. I’m super disorganized like that. Also, deleting emails seems easier on your phone than on your computer, eh?) The manager was taken aback about my concerns. Apparently I didn’t seem “rattled” enough while I was on stage. But she also admitted that she’s still trying to figure out “what comedians like, and don’t like.” Well, comedians aren’t big fans of hecklers in general, but we can deal with them if you let us. One of my favourite thoughts on the subject was what Dean Blundell said when I did his show.

“Christina, that was NOT heckling. Heckling is “You suck!” or “Get off the stage!” What you endured was sexual harassment.”

He’s right. And that’s a fight I should have fought harder for.

Through that whole episode, I was never completely honest. I always said that Yuk Yuk’s was not to blame in all this. I was scared to lose my gigs in their clubs. Nothing means more to comics than stage time. And even though I only make somewhere between $250- $600 a month via the company, I still need that money. (I blame my expensive taste in cheese.) But now that I’ve stumbled upon all these old messages, and discover how many people actually cared about me, and tried to reached me through my own agency, I’m upset again. I protected the company so that I would still have a job. But now I discover they blocked me from all this support. I’m a real life idiot, you guys. The truth is…

They were never on my side.

Before I ever blogged about the incident, I made it a Facebook status update. It got 100’s of comments. I had never had anything that serious on my wall before. Usually my statuses pertain to seeing how long I can go without a shower, or asking if any tall people wanna come over and change my lightbulbs. When my boss at Yuk Yuk’s caught wind of my update, I got a phone call from him. I was scared. I knew I was in trouble.

“I’m going to incorporate a new clause in my contracts where comics aren’t allowed to post about the company on their social media.”

For those of you who don’t know, we all have to sign exclusivity contracts when we sign with the company. This sites that we’re not allowed to take any work outside the company. They can’t possibly give us all enough work to live, but we all sign it, because we want the stage time. And then we all keep second jobs, or live below the poverty line. (If I was smarter, I’d know if this is actually legal.)

When my blog hit the interweb, the response was powerful. It’s weird when you think the way you’re treated is normal, post about it publicly, then learn it’s NOT! People were mad. It wasn’t long til I got a call from my boss. He was furious. Not at the casino, but at me, for speaking out. He yelled at me. The casino had been getting phone calls about my blog, and was now mad at Yuk Yuk’s. I get it. Everyone in Casino Niagara commercials are having the BEST TIME! In reality, most people leave wondering if they saved enough money for parking. (Also in my “other” box: TONS of messages from ex-employees of the casino, confirming they were treated as shitty as me.) Well, I guess Yuk Yuk’s and Casinos have something in common: Profit trumps human rights.

My boss is raging. He yells into the phone:

“I can’t afford to lose that club! They pay their bills on time! I’m not on your side! I’m on the casino’s side! I don’t care about comics! I care about money!”

I was so scared. I burst out crying. I never meant to “bite the hand that feeds you” or whatever that cliche is. He went on to tell me a story I know many comics have heard over the years.

“Lemme tell you a story. Once upon a time, back in the 80’s a comic asked me for a raise. He said, “But they’re all coming to see ME!” So I taught him a lesson. I went to a graveyard, and found a dead guy’s name. I took it, put it on the marquee that night, and the club was STILL packed. People don’t come to see a specific comedian. People come for the Yuk Yuk’s brand.”

At the time I couldn’t disagree. Who am I? Nobody. Nobody really knew who I was. In fact, one of the saddest facts of being a comedian is that a lot of people leave the comedy club, having loved the show, but never remember your name.

Then he put his 3-year old son on the phone for me to talk to. When my conversation with the toddler was over, he reminded me that he has to make money to put food on the table for his family.

“You better hope this doesn’t go to the press.”

My heart was pounding in fear.

I.WAS.BALL-LESS.

It did hit the press. Obvi. I tiptoed through the local radio and TV stations that managed to reach me. (NOBODY reached me through my agents. Nice to pay people commission to be hidden from the world, eh?) I praised Yuk Yuk’s for not being the bad guy in this. Were they ever by my side in any of these interviews? Never. They didn’t want to ruin their relations with the casino. But I never wanted to say anything bad about them, because I didn’t want to lose my gigs in Mississauga next month. (The manager there, Dom is awesome. He actually cares about comedy.)

I did everything I could to appease my boss. We both prayed the attention over this issue would go away. I have this weak habit in life of not fixing problems. I just learn how to use broken things.

I finally left Yuk Yuk’s a year later. I sent an amicable letter quitting. I wasn’t mean. I am greatful for all the growing I did on their stages. But a year after my “Show Us Your Tits, Show Us Your Bush” night, with no support from the man’s name above that logo, I felt gross. I couldn’t tell jokes under that brand for one more minute. I’m actually embarrassed I stayed that long. I had been selling my soul, for the bargain price of $125 a show.

I actually can’t believe I’m writing this. I’ve been called out for having a “fear of being hated.” It’s true. I get along with everybody, possibly even people I shouldn’t. I never read the comments on anything I do. Everything on my YouTube page was posted by others. (I’m terrified of YouTube, cuz in my opinion, that’s where Internet hate goes to soar.) I ditched this wordpress site after the incident. I was too scared to see what people were saying, so I started a new blog on Tumblr, where people can only hit little heart buttons. (Phew!) And because so many of my friends still work for Yuk Yuk’s, I feel bad speaking out against the club. I know these comics really want work. Stage time to a comic is a drug. I get it. Plus, some clubs are actually ran well. Howard Wagman in Ottawa has brewed some of the best comics in the biz- Jon Dore, Jeremy Hotz, Harland Williams- (Is this a tacky time to mention this was MY first comedy club ever? How can I NOT be nostalgic of moments I had on that stage? One of my friends recently said, “I wish I could quit Yuk Yuk’s, but NOT Ottawa.”) The only reason I’m speaking out now is because I found multiple messages in my “other” box, asking me to be on Joy Behar’s show. Joy Behar!! She’s my facking hero! I love her. When I finally wrote the dude back, he wrote,

“We tried sooo hard to get you.”

Due to the exclusivity contract I had with Yuk Yuk’s, everyone should contact them to contact me. It’s the way business is done as an entertainer. In fact, I would get in trouble if I booked a gig without going through them. But they didn’t want the press. And I never knew Joy Behar cared until now. (Though in my heart, I knew she cared! I willed her to find my story, and apparently she did.) These days the most attention I get from a celebrity is when Patti Stanger responds to my tweets.) There’s something I learned about myself this week. You can underpay me, you can send me shitty places, you can even control me… but if I find out you blocked me from meeting Joy Behar? Well…

Now I’m pissed.

When I find myself having regrets in life, I like to picture myself as Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors. Sure, maybe if I had been less of a coward last year, I’d be cooler right now… Maybe more successful… Maybe not still the owner of a three-legged couch. (I didn’t even get compensated for the $500 I lost that weekend.) But I have to convince myself that making any other moves back then would have lead me to being short haired Gwyneth. (And you DON’T want to end up short-haired Gwyneth. Trust me. I won’t mention any spoiler alert thingys, but come on people. The movie’s from 1998. You should have seen it by now.)

I often think back to that evening on the phone with my boss.

“I have to put food on the table to feed my family!”

I may be single, no kids, no fancy house… but guess what?

I have a table too.

Good riddance, Yuk Yuk’s,

Christina Walkinshaw

Christinawalkinshaw.com

(I know it’s 2014, but I just got a website. I love comedy. I suck as a businesswoman. But at least now, there’s no confusion how to reach me.)