it was still going to be incredibly depressing

on the may 15th fansign, mental health, darkness, and hope

on May 15, 2015, during 화양연화 Pt. 1 I went to BTS’ fansign at Sinchon and had a conversation with Namjoon that I, at the time, chose not to reveal for personal reasons. at that time, because of that decision, there were a lot of people who criticized me—people accused me of saying something mean to him, accused me of hiding some secret relationship between us, called me a slut, etc. I didn’t say anything about it at the time because it seemed pointless, but now that 화양연화 has come to an end for real, and following the release of YOU NEVER WALK ALONE—plus, the upcoming 2 year anniversary of this extremely fateful conversation (lol)—I have decided to write about it, if only to explain a little of why I feel such a connection to the concept and so people will understand why I kept it private for so long.

I just want to go ahead and give people some warning: it’s not only a post about BTS. it’s a post about my life, and it contains a lot of sensitive material, like self-harm, suicidal ideation, and drug use. please bear that in mind if you decide to read it, I don’t want anyone to be upset by that content.

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anonymous asked:

Headcanon's for the bros and their s/o's first meeting is their s/o trying to steal the Regalia while they're away? Please I'm still surprised no one tried to take the Regalia in the game lol

Stealing the Regalia? I agree, it’s an awesome car so I’m surprised no one tried to steal it in the game ether! I’ll assume this happens in Lestallum.

Hope you don’t mind but this answer is a long one!

Noctis’ S/O would do it the typical way, you know, the coat hanger. Noctis would probably warp over and pull them away from the car. He’d try to question them what they were trying to do but they would only smirk and catch him off guard with a sudden kiss, giving them the chance to escape.

After that, Noctis would run into them, they always greeting him with, ‘How my future car doing?’ Much to his annoyance and future amusement, he always replies, ‘Last I checked, it’s MY car.’ They smirked and say, ‘Not for long.’ But they never actually try to steal it again.

Gladio would notice them and run at them at full speed, giving them a full body tackle, sending them to the ground, demanding that they were doing. His S/O would glare at him and sarcastically reply that they were admiring the car, insert innocent face with mischievous eyes. Gladio is about to get angry when they suddenly bolt, yelling that they would get even with him.

Time passes and Gladio forgets the encounter, until one day while he’s wandering Lestallum as the others are at the markets, he’s suddenly slammed into from the side, sending him straight to the floor. He’s disoriented for a moment until he realizes he hears laughter coming from what hit him. He gets a clear look at the person, who looks back at him with a smug smirk, he doesn’t recognize them at first until they smack him and say, ‘I told you I’d get even with you!’ They jump up and run off, laughing still.

Gladio is stunned before he becomes angered at being caught off guard and vows vengeance. This vow starts off an odd relationship of pushing, shoving, and basically body slamming one another to the ground as a greeting.

A long time later, when they’ve been together for a while, Gladio’s S/O would blame him for starting the whole thing. Which he smirks and doesn’t deny.

Prompto would have probably left his camera in the car while they were staying in lestallum for the night and would have come back to grab it, suddenly spotted them after they opened the door and had his camera in their hands. He would shout at them, which would startled them greatly and they would bolt like a frighten animal, camera in hand. Prompto would chase after them, shouting for them to give back his camera, but he loses them in the crowd. Prompto is incredible depressed for days after the incident, not even cheering up when they visit the chocobos, which worries the others.

After two weeks, they return to Lestallum for errands, he is asked by Ignis to go to the car to grab something for him. As he heads over, he notices something on the roof of the car. As he gets closer he is absolutely delighted to see that it’s his camera. He immediately examines it to make sure it’s not damaged and checks his photos to see if they were still there. But the moment he turns on the camera, the photo of someone he doesn’t know pops up. He notices they are holding a sign, and soon turns red and smiles when he reads it. The sign says, 'I’m sorry for taking your camera, you are a wonderful photographer.’ He gleefully tells the others and keeps the photo. He meets the one in the photo after a while, and the first thing he does is take their photo to their surprise. He smiles and thanks them for returning his camera to him. This leads to them conversing and getting know one another and you probably know what happens next.

Ignis is a toughie cause I don’t see him just chasing after someone. The way I see it, he would notice them trying to open the car door, and doesn’t look impressed at their methods. He quietly walks up to them and leans against the car, watching them, after a few moments, he would inform them that what they are doing is sloppy at best, which startles them of course, but before they can run, he goes into the proper way to actually open a car without risk of scratching the paint or windows, which leaves them stunned.

After he finishes explaining he waits for them to reply. They stare at him for a moment and simply say, “Do you give advice to every person that tries to steal your car or am I just special?”

This then leads to a 40 minutes conversation of the proper methods to gain entry to things and places. When he notices that he should get back he waves at them, hoping to converse with them again.

Give a few days since the incident. He is in the hotel room while the others are out when he notices the door handle faintly move. Before he can do anything, the door opens and a familiar stranger falls to the ground.

They stare at each other for a moment before Ignis raises an eyebrow and simply says, “Do you break into everyone’s hotel room or am I just special?”

This breaks the ice and leads to them to properly getting to know each other.

(ugh this was long!!!)

anonymous asked:

Congrats on the 1k! \o/ For the special celebratory AU... how about a generic coffee shop AU? Because I will go down with them. Just like with this blog ~<3

i freaking love coffee shop aus omg i even started a yuuri on ice coffee shop au– but i am so bad at writing regularly oops

also hey ho guess who’s alive despite finals and anxiety and depression whoop whoop

- Admin Ace in Space

  • okay so
  • we all know Zen would be that incredibly attractive barista
  • who just casually flirts with like. everyone
  • and gets 23420349302 phone numbers a day
  • Yoosung is the new kid who’s still learning
  • and wants to achieve that level of being lusted after someday lol
  • he’s smol and cute and envious when someone he thinks is attractive is busy flirting with Zen AGAIN
  • Jumin is the owner and Jaehee is the manager who basically does all of the fucking work holy shit Jumin can u pls help this poor woman
  • Jumin tried to make it a cat café but Zen threatened to quit and then they’d lose like half their customers who are lowkey only here to stare at Zen so the plan was never carried out
  • Saeyoung was 100% for having it a cat café but alas
  • he also tried to get Jumin to make it into a maid café
  • and showed up in a maid outfit once
  • tried to get Yoosung to wear one too but Jaehee intervened
  • Saeran is in charge of the ice creams
  • he had to work on his self-control at first so that he wouldn’t eat all the ice creams
  • why is it so fun to say ice creams instead of ice cream omg
  • Jaehee is not only the manager, oh no
  • she’s also the pastry chef
  • when she makes cupcakes everyone d i e s bcs they are SO GOOD
  • V helps her out with that
  • let’s say he’s not blind for this one ok bcs otherwise it would be kinda difficult for him to decorate the pastries
  • and he is so good at decorating omg
  • #aesthetic
  • Saeyoung is also a barista but he sort of helps out wherever he can lol
  • not that Saeran or Jaehee really want his help
  • he used to be in charge of music but got yelled at after playing Fergalicious like a billion times in a row
  • he also used to be in charge of the tv screen that usually plays the news or soccer games or just random videos of nature idk some cafés have those
  • BUT then, as we can all expect,
  • he played the bee movie
  • and now he’s not allowed to even breathe the air around the tv screen
  • so eventually they let Yoosung choose the videos and music bcs he has the most “normal” taste out of everyone
  • no Jumin we are not gonna listen to a song made up entirely out of cat sounds
  • so it’s all very chaotic but at the same time it also feels like a big family??
  • and the customers love it bcs it’s such a wonderful mess and there’s no stress and hey that rhymed
  • it’s a very nice atmosphere and it’s a lot of fun to listen to these nerds bickering
  • honestly a café run by the RFA… i could die happily after visiting that place lol

Do you ever really frustrate yourself? Like, with your illnesses, behaviors etc?

I just want to shake myself sometimes. I am gaining weight still, not drinking water, not being active, depressed and isolating myself. I want to get better…but I just don’t. It’s so incredibly irritating.

I tell myself I am going to change and the next day comes and I am back to doing the same shit. I don’t know what to do anymore.

The actual reason why Robert Plant is an angel...

We all, of course, know Robert Plant to be the lead singer of Led Zeppelin -one of the most successful and influential bands to ever have existed- as well as someone of a raw, sexual nature. I think it’s important, though, to acknowledge some of the other reasons why this man in one of the most incredible in rock and roll, starting with something that really hits home for me.

The other day, someone left an anonymous question in my ask box; they wanted to know what my favorite thing about Robert is, and for me, the answer is simple. I admire his love for life and living it to the fullest, even after all of the hardships he’s faced. This is a wonderful quality in him that, I think, is overlooked far too often.

Probably the two most significant tragedies that life has dealt Robert happened only three years apart. In 1977, his son Karac (pictured with Robert above) passed away suddenly at the age of five after suffering a stomach infection, and of course, his dear friend and band mate, John Bonham lost his life in 1980. Now, I’ve never been pregnant, and I’ve never taken part in raising a child, but I can only imagine that a loss like that would be absolutely devastating… And to lose such a close friend, someone who’s been with you through an aspect of your life that only a couple of other people can really understand? Unthinkable. Of course, because of these things, Robert spent a bit of time away from the public eye and who can blame him? It takes a truly strong person to be able to go through the things that he’s gone through and still be able to become the person that he is today. Because he hasn’t given up and is still making music and doing what he loves, he’s a genuine inspiration to me.

His story touches me on an incredibly personal level as well; my mother passed away when I was sixteen, and I still deal with some anger and depression because of the situation five years later. Robert’s story is one that gives me hope, makes me want to see the beauty in the world, even when it’s difficult. Sometimes just thinking about his story makes the hard times a little bit easier.

If by some miracle I meet Robert one day, I have a pretty good idea what I’d like to say to him (you know, if I’m able to stay calm enough to speak). I’ll thank him for his music and for helping me find the courage to take things one step at a time. I’ll thank him for helping me find the strength to love life.

- @babiesunflower

okay but literally search for spock/voyage home is such a typical romance arc???? main character risks everything previously established to be the most important to them to save their love interest, there’s the dramatic and depressing reveal that said love interest doesn’t remember them anymore, sacrificing something incredibly important (the enterprise) and not caring, the slow turn around and remembering the main character’s name, the upcoming frustration as the love interest still don’t remember anything personal, bringing up details of their life together, the love interest still instinctively sitting too close to the main character and being physical with them as they’re still drawn together, the slow return of memories/emotions, the “it’s going to be okay” ending with the love interest and main smiling and laughing and being playful………

anonymous asked:

Winter Sonata question because I just now caught up to the hullabaloo and am trying not to openly weep in this cafe. Do you ever think when Adrien wondered if it would’ve been better if Marinette had left him alone, he would feel immensely guilty about it? Like yeah, if Marinette had left it alone, he would've been in a better state (kind of), but he also remembers that he doesn't know what it's like to live for over a decade thinking that your soulmate is dead.

(con’t) And does Marinette ever feel incredibly guilty for waking him up because he’s hurting? As in, “he was happy and had a good thing going on, why didn’t I just leave it?” Do those insecurities ever haunt her on top of the depression she had endured? Does she still those moments where she has to pause to remind herself that Adrien is alive because she still remembers that pain? I’m shedding too many tears for these kids.

Of course! A horribly angsty AU wouldn’t be complete without post-traumatic stress.

Adrien experiences a lot of that in the beginning of his therapy, then it eases. But he’ll continue to suffer from those feelings and that guilt for the rest of his life. Also there’s the paranoid fear that everyone else has these expectations of him while he’s just trying to get his life back together.

It’s hard on Marinette because Adrien starts pushing her away in that delicate time period where she just wants to be near him because he’s alive and there and she missed him so much and they love each other. There’s a lot of fighting and crying and talking and compromising and apologizing and trying to figure out how they’re going to proceed together.

But the point is that they will proceed together, no matter how difficult it is.

One of my partners is getting out of the hospital tomorrow! My boyfriend and I are incredibly happy to be able to see our other partner again after 2 weeks of them being hospitalized for depression. It’s going to be an emotional day but I’m happy to have the other part of our triad back home. Still a long road ahead but I want to help them get through it, they mean the world to me

I’m still incredibly depressed but my Ita bag(its fake lmao) came and i tried to put it together. Unfortunately it looks like shit but at least my key chains wont get ruined

Im going to bed now. I cant deal with my head rn.

anonymous asked:

have read all parts of jojo? i ask because i was going to send a ask but i didn't know if you were continuing reading and didn't want to spoil you.

Not yet! I put off reading them till after DIU ended so I don’t die of Jojo starvation (that’s a thing and I experienced it in the short wait between when I finished part 3 and the start of part 4). So I’m doing that currently (though if it’s not a textbook I’m an incredibly slow reader). 👍

I wouldn’t worry too hard about spoiling things for me. That never seems to stifle any emotions and reactions (In part 4 I knew Okuyasu was going to be ok but I still somehow managed to die on the inside and be depressed for the rest of the day). I follow the jjba tag on tumblr anyway; I’ll be fine but thanks for worrying 😘

Mr. Sandman, Leave Me Alone (bum bum bum bum)

I believe good, healthy sleep is the key to a good life. Without sleep, the human brain will go insane. Sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture, because remaining awake for days on end will make you desperate, causing torture victims to reveal information. Some experts say you should get 8-9 hours of sleep a night, some say you should get as little as 5-6 and you’ll be fine. No expert will tell you sleeping for 15-16 hours a day is healthy.

During my worst bout of depression, that’s how much I was sleeping, practically everyday. I would sleep for 12 hours, wake up to go to school, but I wouldn’t get up because I was still incredibly exhausted. I’d sleep some more, eat some food, then sleep again. It wasn’t healthy, to say the least. Something in a depressed brain makes you feel incurably tired, even when you haven’t done anything to make you tired. After a good workout or dance class, my body feels physically exhausted, and that’s normal. Being tired after exerting energy is what is supposed to happen. Being tired after doing nothing is not supposed to happen. There were some days when I would wish time would stop for everything else except me, just so I could sleep more.

I attended a Performing Arts Camp for seven years, where the schedule had us waking up at 7 in the morning. I’d see other girls waking up at 5:30 or 6 to get ready for the day and I would just laugh in disbelief. How did they have this energy? I could easily go back to bed for 12 more hours but nope, my friends would make me get up (thanks, guys 💕). During high school, I didn’t do after school activities or hang out with anyone. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

These days, I’m recovering and my sleep schedule is A+. And guess what. It helps me feel better! It’s a miracle! But when you’re severely depressed, you can’t just say to yourself “Hey ya know what, if I get up and get on with the day, I’ll feel better”. Every cell in your body is screaming “GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!”, so you do.

Part of me writing this blog is because I want others to know the warning signs of a depressive episode. Neither my parents or myself realized I was depressed for a long time because we all just thought I liked to sleep a lot. If someone you care about is severely tired all the time and sleeps through most of the day, they might be depressed and they might need help. I’m doing well now, but sometimes I want to punch Mr. Sandman in the face.

I think that people who identify as queer (either sexually or gender queer or in whatever terms relate to one’s situation) begin to not just challenge the heteronormative binary themselves, but begin to explore what it means to not conform and fit into the boxes assigned with our allocated genders in a greater sense. Since coming out as gay, although I am a cisgender woman and identify as such, I still find camaraderie and a sense of community amongst all LGBTQ individuals, and can see that there is still a huge need for reform and support to those identifying outside of just male and female. I feel incredibly lucky to feel comfortable and able to identify with my gender assigned to me at birth, and want to support and show my solidarity with those who are struggling or feeling like the world is against them. I go climbing every week and there is a girl there who is a day patient at a psychiatric ward due to depression. I want to get a T shirt to subtly let her know that I am an ally and that not everyone is as close minded and judgmental as others in this town.

anonymous asked:

baby ace here, needs general moral support​. esp with all the cd equines (diskhorse) going around

omg anon please know i and my friend had a good cackle over cd equines / diskhorse thats so funny

  1. same im an old and wise ace and im like this close to going around and asking ppl i follow to tag ace discourse bc it’s super depressing sometimes?? and like its good valuable stuff but Dang sometimes u need a break?? even the posts with awesome takedowns still contain the sad material in and of itself, you know? like literally i was chatting with someone just tonight about that your timing is incredible
  2. baby ace i love you and if you ever have a question about ace stuff my askbox is always open for that!! fun fact i once considered starting an aro/ace advice blog but i don’t have the time or mental energy but in me alive & well is still the desire to make sure young new asexual people don’t wind up feeling awful about themselves
  3. general advice: blacklist what you gotta blacklist, don’t do anything you don’t wanna do with anybody you don’t wanna do it with no matter what kinda turned around reasoning they throw at you, remember you don’t owe anybody anything & also that you aren’t in anyway broken. also DONT spend any time with those yahoos that equate asexual ppl to homophobes or straight people. make that ur dealbreaker. follow some ace positivity blogs. do something that makes you feel good about yourself whether that’s a full face of makeup and nice selfies or finishing a creative project or doing charity work. it’s important to find lots of things to like yourself if you’re seein a lot of (incorrect) discourse that says there are things you should be hating about yourself, yikes
  4. bad diskhorse is Bad, dont listen to it. you’re gonna go far. hang tight onto your sense of humor ok <3

[My rabbit fell severely ill over the weekend, and I’ve been spending the entire time struggling to keep her alive.

I haven’t been able to go to sleep before 2 while still getting up around 7-8 (and thanks to my depression, I actually need 10 hrs of sleep a day), so I am incredibly stressed and braindead and can’t even English properly at this point.

Ceres has been taking small steps to getting better, but her condition is still critical and there’s no guarantee she’ll even survive, so….. yeah.

Please do understand that I’m not ignoring anyone on purpose, and that I haven’t lost interest in talking to and RPing with you all ^^’ ]

SteveTony Non-Powered AU Recs

Haaave You Met Steve? by theapplepielifestyle - 47K - “Kids, I’m going to tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your father.” An Avengers/HIMYM crossover.

How Not To Be Nothing by theapplepielifestyle - 18K/College!AU - Tony’s still Tony Stark: genius, billionaire, playboy, depressed alcoholic, semi-suicidal- wait, that’s not how it’s supposed to go. Bruce is his college roommate and the guy who picks him up when he’s wasted, Peter is his sort-of-not-really nephew who hangs around too much and neither of them really mind. Then there’s Steve, and he’s… he’s, uh. He’s Steve, and he’s sort of a welcome surprise. He comes with Natasha, the gorgeous yet fucking terrifying business major, Clint, the undecided, and Thor, the guy who no-one’s really sure about who cleans out everyone’s supplies of poptarts. Somewhere along the way, they sort of become a family.

Love and the Wedding Industrial Complex by Neverever - 33K - Tony Stark is quite put out at the disruption to his working life when Pepper Potts announces her engagement to Happy Hogan. And when she hires an attractive wedding planner named Steve Rogers, that’s the final straw. Tony has an immediate aversion to all the wedding planning and especially to the wedding planner. Well, the course of true love never did run smooth.

You’re Not Stubborn (Just Impossible) by Wordsplat - 95K/HighSchool!AU/ABO - Steve’s an alpha, Tony’s an omega. Biology should take care of the rest, right? Except, Tony’s not anything like TV taught Steve omegas were–or like anyone else Steve’s ever met, actually–and Steve should really learn to just keep his mouth shut about that. Also, it doesn’t help that Tony’s not too keen on the idea of alphas. Or Steve. Yeah, this bonding thing looked a whole lot easier on TV.

Steve Rogers’ Life Is Not A Romance Movie (He Wouldn’t Get The References, Anyway) by someonelsesheart - 8K/HighSchool!AU - Steve hasn’t always had this ridiculous crush on Tony Stark. (Or, the one where Steve is his polite old self and doesn’t really hate Tony Stark (unfortunately), Tony is a child progidy and apparently a cab driver now, too, and high school is still high school, even when you are the son of a billionaire.)

Which Number Were You, Again? by meh-gun - 50K/What’s Your Number? AU -  Pepper’s getting married, his friends are no help, there’s a criminally hot blond next door, his father’s banned him from the lab, his mother’s insisting he behaves, and Tony STILL doesn’t have a date for the wedding. It’s fine, though. He’s a problem-solving machine, or at least he can build one. Tony’s confident it’ll all work out; and if not, well at least it’ll be a good story to tell…

The Man with the Clockwork Heart by indigostohelit - 30K - A de-anon (finally) from the capkink meme. His village destroyed by the northern Empire, Steve Rogers is sold as a slave to Lord Tony Stark, a man with no heart but a ticking clockwork machine inside his chest. He’s been told that Lord Stark takes pleasure slaves, and bitter, grieving, and terrified, he expects nothing more of a northerner. But months pass, and Stark does nothing. In a rapidly unfolding chaos of scheming politics and a clockwork world, Steve begins to wonder what sort of man Stark is– and whether he’d mind being a pleasure slave at all.

Looking For Heaven by foxxcub - 32K/Regency - When young Lord Anthony Stark learns Steven Rogers has enlisted in the army, he thinks he’s seen the last of his tiny, headstrong, haughty stable boy. But four years later, Lord Stark gets an unexpected visit from Steve, whose mother has fallen gravely ill and into financial ruin. Even more unexpected, Steve agrees to a shocking proposal: they will marry, giving Steve the necessary funds to save his mother, and Tony the much-needed reprieve from harassing would-be suitors. It is a business arrangement, nothing more. But as time goes on and circumstances arise, Tony begins to learn that keeping his heart away from his husband is easier said than done.

Quick thing, just want to elaborate on my thoughts on Sans’s nihilism. 

While I am in no way wishing to stop anyone from finding their own joy in the stereotypical view of him being depressed–I can even see why some people find it appealing, because it’s like wanting to comfort and support someone who is suffering, it’s an outlet for that feeling, which I get–I do not agree with it. Someone who realizes that nothing in life matters would not be sad or depressed by that realization, because being sad or depressed is the reaction of someone who still thinks something in their life does matter. It is, in fact, the exact opposite of nihilism. Depression has to do entirely with the self, not what’s outside of the self.  That’s how I see it anyway.

A nihilist is someone who has a broad awareness of their own existence and the existence of everything around them having no real meaning. It doesn’t in any way mean they want to die or harm themselves. That’s a different mentality all together with different origins. Someone who knows nothing matters and nothing can be done about it would take a lot of comfort in it, hence Sans’s penchant for bad jokes, eating bad food, and being incredibly lazy. But he’s still grounded in reality. He’s just so comfortable with the meaninglessness of existence that he does whatever the hell he wants, within reason. It’s why he also tends to not care about anything, save for his brother. That’s how he’s shown in canon. I think when things go bad, yeah, he can be troubled by the reality of RESETS, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s depressed by it.

I think this is why, in the Genocide run, he’ll only kill you when you go out of your way to kill everyone else but won’t kill you if you happen to kill Papyrus but not everyone else. He still hates you for killing his brother, but I think he’s at least prepared for the possibility of his death which is why he doesn’t go out of his way to kill you back. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care at all about other people. He’s not heartless. He’s an equalizer, not a guy bent on total vengeance, unless you give him enough reason to exact vengeance. That’s not something a person with depression would typically do.

Again, as I understand it, someone who truly suffers from depression does not focus on everything else around them, only the faults within their own life and their own self, even if they’re not aware of it. They are not comfortable with their own existence. Sans absolutely is. He still finds joy in all the little things in life, like a good burger or a gaze at the stars or a harmless prank that makes the other person laugh. Yes, there is still a lot about him we don’t know, but from what we can gleam is that as long as he can afford not to care, everything is fine as it is and there is nothing to get down about. 

And I think this is a good lesson to take away from him, is to not let things get us down. Because, in the grand scheme of things, what gets us down does not matter. So relax, have fun, and keep learning new things. Find the joy in what you have, not sadness in what you don’t. And have patience. Good things will come your way. But of course, don’t just sit and do nothing either. Take a page out of Papyrus’s book too.

Again, you’re free to like whatever version of Sans you want. These are just my own thoughts based on what I’ve seen.

Under the read more are ### GIF conversation starters. All of these starters can also be used as tweets for your character, or can be expanded on to be used as para starters. There starters are so a variety of characters, from bubbly to child-like to bitchy.
Over the many years I’ve been RPing - on Tumblr, Myspace, and Jcink, I’ve come up with some pretty good starters. Paired with the right GIF, these one-liners, jokes, and/or little stories can literally go anywhere and be a big-time contributor to character development. I’m handing these off to the community so they can find inspiration to create their own.
All of these starters were written and/or edited by me. No credit is needed.

  • Have you watched that Netflix show Daredevil yet? I’ve heard such good things about it. I kinda wanna try it out.

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