it was so freaking good i literally read it in one day

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .

I’ve been seeing a man in my backyard for the past two nights

Story by reddit user Opinionson

To start I need to give some background:

I am a male who lives in relatively nice neighborhood

It’s your average small town run of the mill suburbs area with not a lot of people.

I am a college kid who’s home on break while my parents have gone away which doesn’t help at all.

I have a two story house

I do not have gun nor do I have any real weapons other than kitchen knives

I am not on any medication and I have no record of schizophrenia or any other mental illnesses

I barely have any relationships with my neighbors most of whom are elderly and the rest I have minimal contact with

I do not have any people in my neighborhood (that I know of) who have reasons to attack or harm me

Now, let’s get into what has been happening. About two nights ago I woke up very late in the night and I went to the bathroom to go take a shit. Now, my second story bathroom has a window that can see the entirety of my backyard. Directly behind it is a cul de sac which you can see directly into. There is a group of trees and pile of rocks and mulch that divides it. Usually I can see everything in my backroom without turning on my because lights from my neighbor’s house dimly lights the room.

Keep reading

My experience with the signs in my life
  • Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.
  • Aries male : very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.
  • Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.
  • Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.
  • Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.
  • Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.
  • Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.
  • Cancer male: oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.
  • Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.
  • Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.
  • Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.
  • Virgo male: cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.
  • Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.
  • Libra male: my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.
  • Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.
  • Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.
  • Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.
  • Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.
  • Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.
  • Capricorn male: THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.
  • Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.
  • Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.
  • Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.
  • Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.

i’ve been getting a lot of messages lately (and unsurprisingly, considering how unrepentantly i’ve been reblogging stuff from them) from followers asking me for podcast recommendations - and i love getting those so thank you, guys! - and i thought i’d make a masterpost of what i’ve both a) finished and b) enjoyed since i’ve started bingeing them.  and, as an extra added bonus, what has canonical lgbt+ representation (since i know what you guys are into [waggles eyebrows]).

1. the bright sessions

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is definitely the first podcast that i’ve fallen in love with as hard as my original gateway podcast: welcome to night vale.  it’s so well-written, the characters well-drawn, the premise fascinating - atypicals, or people with some sort of special ability, in therapy - and it’s such a positive story and experience that i can’t help but feel better on days i listen to it.  it really believes in humanity and that’s such a wonderful thing in this day and age.  plus, the voice acting is killer.

2. eos 10

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i don’t think it’s been officially confirmed that dr. dalias is, at the very least, bisexual (in fact, the official channels seem to be dancing around it, possibly so as not to spoil anything in the upcoming season), though it’s been hinted at plenty in story.  especially as i don’t know how else you can explain a supposedly “straight” male character getting called out on repeatedly thinking about a naked man during a group mind-link experience.  that aside, it is freaking hilarious.  the premise is doctors in space, one formerly drug-addicted doctor helping to stabilize a currently alcoholic one with amazing side characters including nurse jane johns and levi, a hypochondriac alien and deposed prince who seems to have a personal vendetta against wearing pants.  it’s well-acted, cleverly written and a freaking joy to listen too.  so funny and so smart, i can’t recommend it enough!

3. the penumbra podcast

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  so much queer representation it’s bananas.  this ask the creators got is actually pretty representative of their approach to the show, slyly funny and very gay.  our main character is a genderbending queer private investigator who’s lost his heart head over a sweet-smelling thief with a heart of gold and more aliases than jennifer garner, all set against a noir backdrop.  oh, and on mars.  yeah, you read all of that right.  there are a few awesome side stories as well, including a couple of horror ones (that have no effect on the main juno steel story line, so can be skipped - and the creators are VERY GOOD about warning what’s to come in the episode notes), as well as lesbian outlaws and a disabled knight.  there’s literally nothing not to love.  EXCEPT FOR HOW JUNO STEEL WON’T LET HIMSELF HAVE NICE THINGS.

4. the black tapes

hey, hi, if you’re into horror, suspense, creepery or demons, this is so very much for you.  the premise is that alex reagan, our host, begins a podcast to interview people with interesting professions.  she starts out with dr. richard strand, a paranormal investigator whose mission statement is to debunk all things paranormal.  he even has an institute that offers a one million dollar prize for proof of the paranormal, which he has never even come close to having to part with.  while alex is interviewing him, she comes across a handful of black vhs tapes: the only cases that strand hasn’t been able to definitively solve yet.  the technology to disprove these incidents simply hasn’t come far enough, in his opinion.  needless to say, she never moves on from dr. strand and the mystery of the black tapes.  each episode, alex investigates another of the black tapes and much later on realizes it’s possible that they’re all connected.  oh my god, i almost got chills just writing that, it’s so good, it’s so real, because dr. strand is such a good anchor to reality.  alex will occasionally lose her skeptic’s perspective; dr. strand does not.  and once alex starts experiencing intense insomnia, making you realize your narrator might not be so reliable?  things somehow manage to get even murkier.  i really, really adored this one.  it’s paranormal set in the most normal of normal worlds, only making it that much spookier.

5. wooden overcoats

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, if you’ve ever watched black books?  this is kind of like black books, aka one of my all-time favorite shows.  rudyard funn is just as incapable and universally disliked as bernard black, which was all well and good when the village of piffling vale (which is very nearly a town, you know!) only had one funeral home to choose from.  unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore.  eric chapman has moved his funeral home right across the street and stolen all the business from rudyard, his embalmer (cum part-owner) and twin sister, antigone, and georgie, their assistant.  to add insult to injury, he’s charming and universally adored by everyone except those at funn funerals.  very british, very ridiculous, and very funny!  WE GET THE BODY IN THE COFFIN IN THE GROUND ON TIME.  (well, like that one time they did.  [coughs])

6. ars pardoxica

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i listened to this one pretty slowly, for me.  it’s very much plot over character, at least in my opinion.  which is fair since there’s quite a lot of plot and set dressing to establish.  we’re following (dr.) sally grissom, a scientist from the twenty-first century who accidentally creates time travel and ends up stuck back in the 1940s.  think a bombs and eisenhower.  it was always interesting, and the paradoxes created by the time travel experiments they kept doing were fascinating (i love time travel stuff because of the paradoxes it creates) but i didn’t get really ravenous for it until season two, which is when i really felt it picked up speed.  you’ve got anthony stuck in a literal CAGE - a “blackroom” bubble set outside of time, sally trying to garden (oh god), a gang consisting of a veteran, a (former) widow and time doubles trying to bring down ODAR (the company sally used to work for, and that anthony still does) and esther sliding down the ladder of morally unsound one determined rung at a time and it makes for a REALLY grabbing audio drama, eh?

7. the strange case of starship iris

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i’m already in love with violet liu, all right?  she’s a science officer on starship iris–well, what was starship iris.  when we first join violet, every single one of her crew mates has just died in an explosion on the pod they were traveling off ship with and the starship iris is in its last throes as well.  luckily(?) a passing ship comes along with a plan to get her to safety.  this has a real illuminae vibe to it (which is an amazing book btw) and all the characters are already so freaking likable.  it’s only on episode two and already shaping up to be a favorite!

8. the orbiting human circus (of the air)

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  if there’s a more heart-warming podcast out there, then i haven’t run across it yet.  first of all, julian koster’s voice is so vulnerable and soft that i would use myself and everyone i know and also puppies as a shield against everything terrible in the universe for him.  second, the rest of the cast - leticia especially - is just as freaking talented.  the premise is that julian is the janitor at a radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower and has strange and impossible acts every night, from tale-telling crickets to singing saws to the orkestral, a bird that can play every orchestral instrument (except that it refuses to play the viola, because reasons).  it’s fun and cute and breaks your heart with happiness regularly and often!

9. alice isn’t dead

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is a horror podcast about a truck driver who is looking for her missing wife.  jasika nicole has to have one of my favorite voices around and having it be so heavily dependent on that makes me ridiculously happy.  throw in the story-telling of joseph fink, the depth and cohesiveness of his writing, and there is nothing not to love here.

10. within the wires

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is really sufficiently creepy considering it’s not often overtly creepy.  this is set up as a series of relaxation tapes, which progressively get more and more interested in helping the listener break out of the facility in which she’s being kept.  super chilling at times, because the voice is so calm and the action so dangerous.

11. welcome to night vale

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, what more can be said about this at this point?  if you’re not listening to it, you’re wrong.  why wouldn’t you want to visit a town that can’t be visited and where every conspiracy theory is real and a part of everyday life?  yeah, everyone knows about the vague yet menacing government agency, steve carlsberg, you’re not hitting on anything new there.  there’s a dog park that doesn’t allow dogs, angels that are never to be identified as angels, mountains that aren’t real, a glow cloud that–ALL HAIL and a love story so complete and perfect that it can and will utterly steal your breath at times.  go, listen, inhale.

Dating Tom Holland Would Include....

  • Constantly bickering with Harrison on who Tom loves more. 
  • Always winning these fights
  • “Sorry mate, but have you seen her? She’s absolutely stunning.”
  • Having all sorts of adventures with Tom and Harrison
  • Because let’s face it, wherever Tom goes, Harrison follows.
  •  But never really minding because as long as Tom is around, so are you.
  • Tom always making sure that you’re okay. 
  • “You sure, love? Okay. I just want to make sure my girl is happy.” 
  • Him wrapping his arms around you every chance he gets.
  • Calling you every kind of cute nickname in the book because he can never just pick one.
  • “Babe, love, doll, sweetie, beautiful, gorgeous, cutie, honey,” All of them.
  • Sometimes finding himself just staring at you because he can not believe how lucky he is to have you.
  • Having to break up Tom and Harrison’s arguments on who loves you more. 
  • “Enough, you two. I swear you guys are like little kids fighting over a toy, and I am NOT a toy.” 
  • “Course you’re not, babe. But, I do love you more than Haz.” 
  • “I know you do. Why do you think I’m with you.” 
  • Tom leaving you with little notes that he placed everywhere.
  • “Hey babe, I love you!”
  • “Did you know you’re amazing?”
  • “You’re my girl, don’t ever forget.” 
  • “Call me when you find this!” 
  • “I could stare you forever.” 
  • “You’re the first and last person on my mind.” 
  • “I miss you.” 
  • Tom begging you to go with him everywhere because he just doesn’t want to leave you. 
  • “Please come with me.” 
  • “No, Tom. I have to work-”
  • “-but, I’m Spiderman. You don’t have to work.” 
  • “Did you just seriously use that line on me?”
  • “Did it work?” 
  • “Absolutely not, you dork. I love you, I do but I promise I’ll come visit. Okay?”
  • “Fine, but you better.” 
  • Always, always feeling guilty because you know that sometimes he gets a little bit of anxiety and stressed and you seem to be the only remedy. 
  • Flying out on the next flight possible.
  • And immediately all the stress and anxious thoughts are thrown out the window the minute he sees you. 
  • Him always whispering in your ear, “Thank you.” 
  • Always reassuring him that he’s earned all the success in his life.
  • Sometimes feeling a little scared that he’ll forget you with his oncoming fame. 
  • Tom reading you like a book and breaking these thoughts from your head. 
  • “You do know that I love you right? And that I wouldn’t be here without you. I’d be a wreck if I ever lost you. Don’t ever think for one second that I could make it without you.” 
  • Feeling reassured until the next time you felt scared. 
  • Tom always going above and beyond in his gifts for you on birthdays, anniversaries, and just because he want to’s. 
  • Him surprising you with a vacation to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. 
  • Following him basically anywhere and everywhere because he will literally get on his hands and knees to beg.
  • Forcing you to play basketball with him even though you know that there’s a reason why you’re not a pro basketball player. 
  • But always seeming to win.
  • Knowing that he lets you.
  • But never questioning it because it was his way of spending time with you.
  • Spending time with his family.
  • Because in a way, they’re your second family.
  • Tom’s mother commenting on how happy she is that Tom has found himself a wonderful girl.
  • His father agreeing one hundred percent and cracking jokes as to when they should expect the wedding.
  • His brothers always teasing Tom about how much you have him wrapped around your finger.
  • Blushing because you would never want him to be “whipped”, but it’s nice to know that you have that power.
  • Tom clapping back with, “At least I’ve got a girlfriend.” 
  • Laughing when they’d all get into a wrestling match.
  • “If I win, [Y/N] is mine!”
  • “No, if I win, [Y/N] mine!”
  • “Bloody Hell! You gits think you’re actually going to win? [Y/N] will always be mine, whether or not I do lose.” 
  • Going to the gym with him.
  • Getting distracted because by God those muscles should be illegal.
  • Him knowing it and teasing you about it.
  • Always getting back at him by doing anything and everything that shows of your figure.
  • Tom throwing down his weights and attacking you with kisses. 
  • Him always being respectful of your boundaries. 
  • Never pushing you to do things you don’t want to do. 
  • You loving him for it.
  • Knowing that you will eventually let him but just not right now because you’re not ready.
  • And him being perfectly okay with that.
  • Sparring with him.
  • Tom being beyond impressed at your skills.
  • Telling you everyday how much he loves you.
  • Begging him to take you to go get icecream even though he can’t really have any.
  • Scolding him when he says, “fuck it,” and gets himself some. 
  • “You’re trainer is going to be pissed.”
  • “So what.” 
  • Shaking your head and enjoying your icecream date with him.
  • Taking Tess out for walks together.
  • Taking a million pictures of her because she’s just so damn cute.
  • Lazy days with Tess
  • Cuddling the poor dog into suffocation until she can’t take it anymore and leaves.
  • Leaving you two clinging onto each other.
  • Tom leaving trails of kisses along your forehead.
  • Holding you tight.
  • Falling asleep in each other’s arms. 
  • Waking up in the middle of night, panicking because your parents are going to freak out.
  • Tom shooting out of bed to get you home.
  • Him trying to help you sneak into your house without your parents waking up.
  • Him mumbling that the two of you should just move out together.
  • Telling him that it would be a good idea but to talk about it later.
  • Tom always gushing about you in interviews.
  • Always being his plus one to the films you want to see.
  • Introducing you to your favorite actors.
  • Getting embarrassed when Robert Downey Jr. finally gets to meet you.
  • “SO, this is the girl you never shut up about? It’s about damn time I finally meet her. [Y/N], it’s so lovely to meet you. I feel like I practically know you with the amount of stuff Tom has told me about you.” 
  • Also getting a little embarrassed but not as embarrassed as when fans stop you on the streets.
  • Getting panicky because you’re just waiting for the hate.
  • But being surprised when it’s nothing but love and awe.
  • Agreeing to take pictures with them and asking to take one of them so you can put it on Instagram as well. 
  • Speaking of Instagram, Tom is forever posting sly pictures of you. 
  • You are literally all over his page.
  • But, it’s okay because he is all over yours.
  • You’ve been trending on #couplegoals for days
  • Threatening Tom with his life if he doesn’t stop posting the selfies you send him. 
  • Him not caring.
  • “I’ll take my chances, babe.”
  • Getting him back on snapchat with the crazy filters.
  • Agreeing to tone down the embarrassing pictures. 
  • But one or two always comes leaking out and you are forever mortified. 
  • Starting a prank war. 
  • You always seeming to have better pranks.
  • Feeling bad and deciding to call it off but not before Tom gets you really good. 
  • Laying out under the stars and talking about the future.
  • Telling each other that as long as you have each other, the future can bring whatever it wants.
  • Tom surprising you with a promise ring. 
  • “We’re both still really young and I know a lot of people our age are getting married but I just can’t imagine getting married at this moment. But at least with this, it’s a promise that you will have my last name, just not right now.” 
  • You accepting it because there is not a damn soul on this earth aside from Tom that you could see yourself with.

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

anonymous asked:

i HAD NO IDEA GORILLAZ HAD PHASES AND STORYLINES could you try and explain them quickly for us new bbies getting into this fandom??

absolutely!!

so the WHOLE ENTIRE STORY of gorillaz is actually extremely ridiculously long and very very complicated and confusing so i am going to try my very hardest to sum everything up as best as i possibly can without missing too much

(also the “phases” don’t really mean much besides marking the different album releases, which is why you may have noticed the band members look different every few years)

phase 1 (celebrity takedown) started around 1999. before phase 1, there was only this guy:

murdoc niccals. on august 15th, 1997 (d-day), he wanted to steal music equipment so he crashed a car into a music store where this guy:

stuart tusspot (then in his young twenties) was working, and he hit stuart in the eye and sent him into a coma. murdoc was arrested, but rather than serving time he had to do a lot of community service and also take care of stuart while he was in his coma. murdoc being murdoc, he crashed his car a second time and sent stuart flying from the backseat, through the windshield and he hit his good eye on the concrete, which woke him from his vegetative state, thus “creating” the stuart you know today:

he was nicknamed 2D because he now has two “dents” in his head (which are actually 8-ball fractures if you wanted to know how this look could be possible). murdoc saw that 2D was really attractive and he could sing, so he made 2D the singer of his band

now, this is russel hobbs:

he was involved in a drive-by shooting when his best friend Del (Deltron 3030 irl):

was shot and killed. del possessed russel, thus turning his eyes completely white and haunting him from time to time when he plays the drums. he also raps in some of the gorillaz songs.

murdoc and 2D needed a drummer so they kidnapped russel and russel for some reason forgave them and agreed to be their drummer.

the guitarist for a short while was 2D’s girlfriend, Paula:

and together the four of them formed the band “GORILLA”:

and the only song they recorded together was “ghost train”. paula was kicked out of the band because russel caught her having sex with murdoc in the bathroom. they needed a new guitarist, so they sent out an ad in the paper. not too long later, this little angel arrived at their front door:

she saw the ad and fed-exed herself from osaka to kong studios:

in essex, england. she was only ten and she only knew one word: noodle. therefore, they named her noodle and they made her the guitarist because she was really really good.

thus, gorillaz was born:

then they made the first album around 2000, titled “gorillaz”. they released a bunch of music, music videos, interviews, merch, a completely interactive website where you could walk around their house, and they even released little shorts that were shown on MTV for a while. you can watch all of their videos and interviews on youtube. they won some awards too, and even performed live using holagrams.

{clint eastwood
19/2000

rock the house

tomorrow comes today
 (epilepsy warning)
live performance
 (epilepsy warning)
all “bites”
 (shorts shown on MTV)}

around 2002, they got a little tired of one another. lots of different personalities living under one roof. they faught a lot, especially murdoc and 2D (2D is not “all there” and he takes a lot of medication, murdoc is an asshole and abuses 2D CONSTANTLY). so they all left kong studios for a while, but not before releasing some b-sides (g-sides).

at the end of two years, murdoc ended up in a mexican prison, russel excorcised del’s soul from his body (but kept the white eyes), which sent him into a horrible depression, 2D got a job at his father’s amusement park, and noodle went back to osaka, japan to discover more about her past.

while in japan, noodle found out from some old dude that she was actually a part of some kind of organization that turns young children into war-machines (yeah, i know, fucking crazy, right?????). her memory had been erased by the old dude so that she could live a normal life, and when her memory was restored, she remembered everything, including how to speak fluent english. having found herself, she was the first one to go back to kong studios. she wrote most of the second album by herself before the others came back to kong and helped her out.

(btw, that is noodle’s pet monkey, mike. murdoc had a pet crow named cortez, and 2D had a pet dog named Prince, but no one knows what happened to them. keep reading)

this was around 2004 and would start phase 2 (slowboat to hades):

note the drastic style change. this phase was famous for its darker look, and the music became a lot darker in their second album, “demon days”.

idents
dirty harry

rockit

dare

feel good inc.

el manana

they released some more teasers (which were “filmed” during their two-year break), more music, more music vidoes, more live performances, and more merch. even some gorillaz games. very cute, very fun (especially if you have a dark sense of humor? there is one game in particular that has the murdoc/2D fans feeling some type of way lol). if you watch the videos and interviews, you can really tell how their personalities shift from phase to phase. also, this is the phase where the windmill island makes its first appearence:

and this is where things get very weird and very very complicated (especially for a cartoon band). in the feel good inc. music video (watch it), noodle is on this island and she is being chased by helicopters from afar.

in the el manana video (watch it now or you might be confused), however, noodle was supposed to get “shot” by the same helicopters before parachuting safely off of the island where she would then flee to the maldive islands to get away for a while (she just wanted a vacation but i guess she didn’t want people to find her). however, in the gorillaz autobiography, murdoc says that something completely different happened.

murdoc was trying to get some guy killed (i forget his name) because murdoc is a horrible guy who holds a lot of grudges. murdoc tricked this guy into hiding inside the windmill to wait for noodle to “die” so he could take her place. noodle did not know about ANY of this. she wasn’t going to get hurt either way because she was given a parachute. so when DIFFERENT helicopters (DIFFERENT PEOPLE THAT WERE NOT HIRED BY MURDOC OR GORILLAZ!) started shooting at her, TRYING to kill her, she freaked out and the windmill ended up crashing into a canal. there is a picture in the autobiography of her parachuting off the island, but no one knows where she went after she hit the ground. everyone searched for her, but no one could find her. at this point, murdoc was confused as well, but everyone assumed she still went to the maldives to mellow out—or that she DIED.

this left 2D, murdoc and russel in deep depression. russel left kong studios first, as it was falling apart due to it being built atop a landfill and infested with zombies. 2D left afterwards to live in beirut, and only murdoc was left in the rubble that was kong.

this was around 2007. the second b-sides album (d-sides) was released and if you went on the interactive website, it was completely abandoned. murdoc tried to sell it but it was gross, run down, shit everywhere, noodle’s room was left bare. BUT. sometime in 2007, noodle sent a message to murdoc via radio telling him to come and save her. she never stated explicitly where she was, but she was in deep, deep trouble. murdoc assumed she was in hell, and, being a satanist in a made-up universe, he somehow made it to hell and searched high and low for noodle, but never found her (THOUGH HE RECENTLY STATED THAT THE ENTIRE HELL TRIP MAY HAVE BEEN A DRUNKEN FEVER-DREAM, SO WE ARE ALL EXTREMELY FED UP AND CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO NOODLE AFTER THE EL MANANA THING. WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, THOUGH THE MURDOC/NOODLE FANS ATE THAT SHIT UP).

after this, murdoc got word that the organization who tried to murder noodle (the black clouds) were now after him. he had no choice but to leave kong studios forever. so he set kong on fire and left. then the autobiography was released (it is implied they started writing the book well before even the middle of phase 2).

and then gorillaz were on hiatus for about four years. not a single word. if you went on the website, nothing changed. shit was cryptic. but the fandom was loyal and WAITING.

THEN. OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, sometime in 2009, murdoc showed up in an interview talking about new gorillaz music. and very slowly, more information was released on the “unofficial gorillaz website”. the fandom was BATSHIT. half of us were butthurt about how ugly murdoc looked, and the other half was excited about NEW GORILLAZ MUSIC, and more importantly, THIS PICTURE:

people were mostly concerned with noodle and the fact that her eye was all fucked up, presumably from either the fall from the island OR from when she was “in hell”. also, peope assumed the whole band was together again, but this was FAR FAR FAR from the case.

murdoc wanted to make new gorillaz music that would “top” their second album (which could never happen, but a pickle can dream). murdoc couldn’t get a hold of russel, and noodle was presumably MIA, so murdoc kidnapped 2D in beirut and shipped the poor guy to plastic beach:

plastic beach is essentially murdoc’s hiding place where he is “safe” from the black clouds, and it is literally an island made out of garbage and spray painted pink. 2D did not want to be there, but murdoc held him captive:

in a bedroom at the southernmost tip of the island, underwater, guarded by a whale (2D has a crippling fear of whales, murdoc is a GIANT ASSHOLE). he made 2D sing, and 2D agreed because he has been agreeing to murdoc for a long time and he knew better than to disobey him.

since gorillaz was lacking a drummer and a guitarist, murdoc had to improvise. to replace russel, murdoc used a drum machine to mimic the way russel plays the drums. to replace noodle, murdoc gathered some of noodle’s DNA from the el manana crash site and built CYBORG NOODLE:

she was just as good on guitar as noodle was and she was also the “war machine” that noodle was “supposed” to be, i.e., murdoc stuffed her with weapons. she even had a gun that fired from her mouth.

thus, this was the “phase three: plastic beach” crew:

they recorded the new album, titled PLASTIC BEACH, and murdoc “kidnapped” all of the artists that gorillaz collaborated with and they just had a grand ol’ time. the album was released in early 2010, followed by a revamped website featuring a full tour of plastic beach, more merch, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of interviews. some of them are probably no longer findable, but it doesn’t matter because pretty much every single interview was just murdoc hooting and hollering and drinking because IT WAS ESTABLISHED THAT AT THIS POINT HE HAS LITERALLY GONE INSANE.

the music video for stylo was released and did not contribute much to the “main plot”, which disappointed some people because we all wanted to know where noodle and russel were. after a long time, murdoc made a twitter to communicate with the fans who were more interested in the now extremely involved plot line of gorillaz as well as the music.

sometime in 2010, new “idents” were released. 2D’s showed him getting kidnapped and shipped to PB, murdoc’s showed him getting SHOT AT on a boat, probably on his way to plastic beach. then RUSSEL’S ident was released, and it showed him jumping off of a dock into the ocean in an EXTREMELY ANGRY MANNER. lots of people speculated he was mad because he found out what murdoc was doing or he was going to confront murdoc about noodle’s whereabouts or both. cyborg noodle’s ident was released after that, it was nothing special, it was just really creepy (btw you can watch all the idents on youtube!

AND THEN. AND. THEN. noodle’s ident was released and IT WAS THE GREATEST DAY. AFTER FOUR YEARS we finally got to see what happened to noodle, dear, dear noodle:

her ident showed her on a boat (she is around 18-19 at this time), being asked to evacuate because the boat was being attacked by pirates (presumably the black clouds, coming after noodle). being the supreme badass she is, she grabbed a gun and stormed out of the room, and that was all we got. the fandom was in uproar. why the cat mask? was it to cover her eye? why was she on a boat?

shortly before the “on melancholy hill video”, murdoc stated he could see a brown rock moving towards plastic beach (official art told the fans it was russel’s head, as russel had eaten toxic waste and had grown into a giant):

and it was implied from this that russel was going to meet up with noodle sometime in the near future. 

hope you’re still following me. im trying my best lol

in the “on melacholy hill” video, murdoc was now aware that noodle was very much alive and also in some kind of trouble, so he and all of the album’s collaborators went on a giant search for noodle, but never found her. they ended up finding some manatee on top of a rock (random af), while noodle defended her boat from the black clouds, and ended up escaping on a life raft with her guitar. and then this happened:

in both the stylo and OMH videos, a mysterious figure called THE BOOGIEMAN appeared:

he is implied by murdoc to be a symbol of death, as he “murders” both a police officer and the manatee on the rock. not much more is known about him.

after this, not much more happened. there was more official art, more games on the gorillaz website, more merch, a gorillaz live band tour (not featuring the actual memebers of gorillaz, much to murdoc’s frustration), one new single called doncamatic, and a music video released during the tour featuring russel and noodle:

about a year later without any more activity, gorillaz released a fourth album titled “the fall”, composed entirely on an ipad by 2D (note how “gorillaz” = russel, “demon days” = noodle, “plastic beach” = murdoc and “the fall” = 2D). it was not entirely popular, but there were some really good tracks.

the gorillaz hype slowed to an almost-halt as far as plot was concerned. noodle and russel never made it to plastic beach, murdoc was still on the island with 2D, 2D was still a wreck, etc etc etc. the fandom was content, but the plotline was pretty stagnant for another year or so. there were a lot lot LOT of unanswered questions, but the fandom was used to it, as gorillaz was never really “designed” to have such a convoluted plotline to begin with, as you can probably imagine. who would have thought “gorillaz” would evolve into such a CRAZY, INVOLVED STORY?? we were at least content knowing noodle was safe with russel, and they were both happy (russel loves noodle like a daughter btw its adorable af). as far as 2D and murdoc went, a lot of people kind of knew that their relationship, as dysfunctional as it was, was still salvagable as 2D is pretty much infatuated with murdoc, as fucked up as that seems.

in 2011, rhinestone eyes was supposed to get a music video. alas, this never happened because the music video was no longer being funded for (it costs a looooot of money to make gorillaz music videos, and gorillaz lost a good deal of popularity after phase 2, mostly because of the plotline. no one besides the die hard fans knew what the fuck was going on in the music videos).

BUT we were blessed with the rhinestone eyes storyboard, which was pretty much everything we could have asked for. the black clouds were surrounding PB, murdoc was flipping out, the boogieman was cornering him. 2D was about to be eaten by the whale buT THEN OUT OF NO WHERE, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY RUSSEL GRABBED THE WHALE WITH HIS HUGE YAOI HAND AND SENT IT FLYING ACROSS THE OCEAN, SAVING POOR 2D. MORE DRAMA ENSUES, AND AT THE END OF IT ALL, RUSSEL OPENS HIS GIANT MOUTH TO REVEAL NOODLE HIDING INSIDE. GOD BLESS.

now, even though the music video was never made, it is implied that everything that happened in the storyboard happened irl. but we still had so many questions left unanswered regardless.

in 2012, gorillaz released a music video to go along with their new single DOYATHING feat. ANDRE 3000. the hype for this video was as real as it could get, and the gorillaz fandom was practically pissing their pants after they saw the storyboard.

the doyathing video (which was actually a collaboration with converse shoes) depicts the four members of gorillaz living together in a janky apartment. what a shock, but what happened to plastic beach? 2D seemed a bit more “himself”, and to everyone’s relief and jubilance, he opened the door to noodle’s bedroom to reveal noodle sleeping soundly, and he smiles, and the fandom was finally at ease. to top it off, russel is shown laying on top of the roof of the apartment, sleeping, noticably smaller in size, but still a giant nonetheless. and attached to the apartment, to EVERY SINGLE GORILLAZ FAN’S COMPLETE SHOCK, is the fucking windmill island, albiet in shambles. how they got it up in the sky again is a mystery to us all.

and, according to murdoc a short while after the release of the video (or before, i cannot recall), after russel and noodle arrived on the island, the cyborg attempted to kill murdoc (which was a surprise to no one….). noodle and the cyborg duked it out and the real noodle ended up coming out on top. and they all left plastic beach after the black clouds fled the scene, probably because it was shot to bits.

and that’s it as of right now. that is the gorillaz story, in summary. there are still a plethora of unanswered questions, however, as we have yet to hear ANYTHING from russel and noodle. we still do not know what exactly happened to noodle after el manana. we do not know why russel jumped into the ocean, we don’t know how russel and noodle found the beach, we don’t know what happened to noodle’s eye. we don’t know a lot of things. hopefully some of our questions will be answered in PHASE FOUR! which has officially started as of yesterday.

i hope i have given you a sufficient insight on the wild, wild world of GORILLAZ. they are more than just a band, they are characters with complex backstories and their adventures are pretty fucking crazy if you have the patience to keep up with them

thanks for reading!

xoxoxo

OTP Drabble Challenge!

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask, along with a pairing, and you write a drabble using that dialogue in your piece! Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

  1. “The doctor said it’s normal” - “Well that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
  2. “Baby, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.”
  3. “Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.”
  4. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”
  5. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child!!” - “DON’T THROW SCISSORS!”
  6. “Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering*
  7. “Did you hear that?” - “I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”
  8. “I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”
  9. “Why are you awake right now?”
  10. “Come over here and make me.”
  11. “I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.”
  12. “H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”
  13. “You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!”
  14. “No, I’m not talking to you.”
  15. “No more!” - “Okay, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.”
  16. “What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?”
  17. “The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  18. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?”
  19. “I just came to say goodbye…” - “Bullshit, you just feel bad.”
  20. “You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?”
  21. “Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda*
  22. “Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go”
  23. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.”
  24. “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.”
  25. “You can’t ride a bike?” - “Why are we whispering?”
  26. “Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!”
  27. “We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.”
  28. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”
  29. “It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!”
  30. “Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?”
  31. “I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.”
  32. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.”
  33. “Don’t you ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”
  34. “You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  35. “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?”
  36. “Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?”
  37. “…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.”
  38. “Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.”
  39. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?”
  40. “You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.”
  41. “It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.”
  42. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”
  43. “Should I be worried?” - “Is the grass green?”
  44. “You’re kidding me?!” - “Shush, my mom never taught me.”
  45. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
  46. “Will you go with me?” - “As long as you hold my hand.”
  47. “Baby, I’m scared.” - “You don’t have to be; not as long as I’m here.”
  48. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.”
  49. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.”
  50. “If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”
  51. “Seriously, the chimney?” - “The squirrel can’t win!”
  52. “32?” - “I’ll prove it!”
  53. “It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.”
  54. “You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.”
  55. “Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.”
  56. “Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “Okay, just don’t hit me.”
  57. “You forgot about my birthday!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.”
  58. “You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.”
  59. “Can you dance with me?” - “You’re not mad?”
  60. “I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.”
  61. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?”
  62. “I’m not going in.” - “Then we’re not going to get a treat after.”
  63. “I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”
  64. “I found it in the recycling bin.” - “Well, you’re the one killing the environment, so who’s really in the wrong here?”
  65. “We bet, and you lost.” - “But tattoos are permanent.”
  66. “Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?”
  67. “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”
  68. “What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.”
  69. “Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-”
  70. “I just don’t know what happened.” - “You’re too good for them.”
  71. “You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”
  72. “Tell me what I can do to help.” - “Sing me to sleep.”
  73. “You still need your baby blanket?”
  74. “Did you black out?” - “I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
  75. “Let’s just bury the hatchet.” - “Fuck your hatchet.”
  76. “I bet it’s a boy.” - “I bet it’s a turtle.”
  77. “Spare change?” - “You can’t be responsible, you don’t get your wallet.”
  78. “Cuddle or leave.” - “So is that a no to supper?”
  79. “Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.”
  80. “Why did I marry you?” - “It took a lot of convincing.”
  81. “Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.”
  82. “You have two choices.” - “Neither of which I like…”
  83. “I want a dog.” - “I want a cat.”
  84. “Chinese food?” - “Do we even know what that’s made of?”
  85. “These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.”
  86. “You don’t know how to change a tire?” - “Give it a rest, would you?”
  87. “That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.”
  88. “We got lucky. You’re not gonna do that again, right?”
  89. “Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!”
  90. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill a spider in the shower.”
  91. “Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?”
  92. “You forgot your book.” - “No, I lost my book!”
  93. “You’re weird.” - “Or you’re just basic.”
  94. “We need a vacation.” - “You read my mind too much, it scares me.”
  95. “Why’d you hug him? You love him?”
  96. “Sorry.” - “Good choice.”
  97. “Luck? Nope. Skills.” - “If it’s skill then do it again.”
  98. “Why can’t you just believe me?” - “Because you lied about it before.”
  99. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”
  100. *Make up your own*

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

I’ve been reading a lot of classic rock (McLennon) fanfic and I’ve noticed that while you’re all very talented writers, a lot of you just don’t know much about LSD. So I thought I’d make a post with all the basics:

-LSD is also referred to as Acid (dropping acid, tripping acid) blotter, Jesus, microdots (dots), zen, California sunshine (cali), heavenly blue, tab, dragon, window pane, and paper mushrooms

-people who do a lot of LSD are called acid heads, acid freaks, cheer leaders, and day trippers

-LSD and PCP (also known as angel dust) have some similar effects, but are different drugs with different highs. Make sure you’re not actually describing PCP when writing acid trips!

-LSD is completely odorless and tasteless

-LSD is most commonly taken by soaking a little piece of paper in it and holding it under your tongue, and dropping it into a sugar cube and letting it melt on your tongue.

-it’s extremely dangerous to mix LSD and other drugs. But a lot of people mix it with xanax (it is dangerous tho. Keep that in mind while writing)

-LSD takes 30 minutes- an hour to completely set in

-it’s not like weed where the high only lasts like 2 hours. LSD lasts from 5(at the VERY least) to 12 hours and it’s a VERY intense high

-it takes another hour or two to come back down. This time isn’t very pleasant. Everything looks like it’s made of plastic and you don’t feel real. You’re not actively hallucinating but things feel off. It’s not uncommon to have an anxiety attack

-the first time you trip on LSD, the coming down part might take up to a few days. But by the second time it probably won’t

-not every trip is a good trip

-if you take LSD while unhappy or anxious. there’s an 80% chance you’ll have a bad trip. So it’s not realistic for your muse to drop acid when sad to cheer up

-bad trips are REALLY BAD good trips are REALLY GOOD

-you can have a good trip that turns bad. And you can have a bad trip that turns good (but it’s less likely)

-music sounds really fucking good on LSD

-you become really sensitive to touch and texture. Even a brush of fingertips on your arm is electrifying. I remember stroking my girlfriends hair and it felt like water running between my fingers and pooling in my hand.

-getting an orgasm might literally send you into another universe

-any hallucination you have will be a reaction to something around you. For example if you’re staring up at a starry sky you might feel yourself swimming through the sky. If you’re in a room with floral wallpaper flowers might start growing from your fingertips

-things get really distorted in size and multiply. If you’re looking at someone’s face one of their eyes might be growing while the other one shrinks. And they might have 4 heads instead of one

-hallucinations don’t follow any rules of the universe. Be as creative as you want to when writing them

-people tend retain their memories of hallucinations to an extent. It’s unlikely that you’d wake up after a trip with absolutely no memories of what happened

-It’s not safe to trip with no one sober around. You might think you can fly and jump off a building. Or walk into the middle of the road without realizing it. So if your muse only takes drugs responsibility keep this in mind

-people don’t usually move around too much while tripping.

-you lose all sense of time. I always think I was only high for a few minutes when in reality it was 7 hours. Some people feel like they were on it for years

-you can’t really hold a conversation when tripping. You really are in your own universe

-there are no physical affects of LSD. I’m sorry if your health class lied to you. It doesn’t make you physically sick at all

-it’s a cliche but yes, people often see god (tho I haven’t yet)

-tripping with someone you love can be very romantic, but in a weird way

-hallucinations are weird, but you don’t really notice that they’re weird until you’re not high anymore. Don’t write your muse as being surprised or confused about what they’re seeing

-bad trips might include things like feeling yourself die over and over again, your face shattering like glass, spiders crawling out of your mouth/all over your body, being on fire, seeing the devil, things like that.

-colors effect you a lot. They’re not necessarily brighter but they are …enhanced? It’s kinda hard to describe to people with no drug experience but colors have more meaning to you and you really notice them. If your muse is looking into their lovers brown eyes they’ll notice that brown

-I ate some ice cream while tripping once and I didn’t taste anything. I’m not sure if this is what it’s like for everyone but that’s my experience

That’s all I can think to tell you at the moment!! Thank you for reading I hope this helped. And if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask me!

kicking you out

for the anon who asked for a groupchat celebrity au with twitter. ik this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but i will do a proper celebrity au one day. probably. dedicated to my wife @jiilys bc she deserves all this and more


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thanks for tuning in last night! check us out next week when we’ll be discussing whether sand dollars should be a viable form of currency

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: james no one cares about ur stupid fuckign radio show

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: ur the co-host

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i dont see how thats a relevant piece of information


Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) tweeted: @jimsradio why do you have pine trees listed as your topic for next week

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: why not

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: theyr an important part of our capitalist, consumer-driven society

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: is this just because you couldn’t come up with a better topic

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: r u insinuating that i had no ideas and decided on pine trees bc there happens to be one outside peters bedroom window

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: yes

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: fair


James Potter to radioheads: how about we have remus as our special guest next week

Sirius Black: i have legitimately never heard of a worse idea

Remus Lupin: good luck driving yourself to the lido next week then dickhead

Sirius Black: i already lost that job

Remus Lupin: why am i not surprised

Sirius Black: jokes on u lupin, ur the one who’s been driving me 40 minutes out of your way every morning for nothing

Remus Lupin: fucker


Remus Lupin to James Potter: we need more advertising

James Potter: ?? we have plenty of advertising

Remus Lupin: we have the same ad for your dad’s hair gel playing every break on a ten minute loop

James Potter: ?? what’s ur point


Peter Pettigrew to james you know i love monty but we need more advertising: guys 2, 141 people listened in last week

Remus Lupin: are you kidding

James Potter: result!!!!

Sirius Black: was that the one where we talked about freaks & geeks conspiracy theories

Remus Lupin: no that was the one where you talked about crunchy chips vs squishies

Remus Lupin: do you even listen to the show

Sirius Black: im the co-host thank you very much

Remus Lupin: could’ve fooled me

Sirius Black has removed Remus Lupin from the chat.


Sirius Black (@blacksheep) tweeted: @petepettigrew i still cant believe u prefer squishies to crunchies

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: what?? theyr more flavoursome


James Potter to Sirius Black: remus has been our special guest for the past five episodes i think we need someone new

Sirius Black: what about pete

James Potter: pete does sound

Sirius Black: then get someone else to do sound

James Potter: u, my friend, are a genius


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we need someone with tech experience to do our sound booth pls and thank


Peter Pettigrew to fifa plays would make a shitty topic: I thought I was sound technician??

James Potter: u can still be sound technician we’re just having u as our special guest

Sirius Black: im not sure i can handle having a special guest who thinks squishies r better than crunchies

James Potter: ??? u were the one who suggested pete in the first place

Sirius Black: i was?? funny that

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u all


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @jimsradio i have two years worth of tech experience and can do friday evenings if ur still looking for a sound technician


James Potter to shitdick central™: holy shit check out the chick who just applied for techie

Peter Pettigrew: who is she

Remus Lupin: lily evans

Remus Lupin: she had her own radio show a couple of years back with this really awful guy

Remus Lupin: it was really popular

Peter Pettigrew: the radio show or the guy

Remus Lupin: ?? the radio show

Remus Lupin: the guy turned out to be a massive racist

Remus Lupin: in her last interview she called him ‘an abusive fuckface’

Sirius Black: i say we hire her

James Potter: seconded


Remus Lupin to James Potter: is the only reason you want to hire her is because you think she’s hot

James Potter: do you really think i’m that shallow

Remus Lupin: yes


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: @liljane you’re hired. i’ll dm you the details


Sirius Black to i’m not shallow remus i just have an appreciation for the finer things in life: i cant believe that you both literally and figuratively slid into her dm’s

James Potter: im blocking u


James Potter to what the fuck is an aardvark anyway: that went rather well if you ask me

Sirius Black: ?? it was a fucking atrocity

Sirius Black: you were staring at her the whole time

James Potter: no i wasn’t

Remus Lupin: you missed five of your queues

James Potter: ok, so maybe i was a little off

Sirius Black: there were more awkward silences than that one time peter tried to pick up rosmerta at the three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!!

Sirius Black: sry pete, desperate times call for desperate measures


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: make sure to check us out at our new time of 7:00pm fridays!!

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you do realise no-one actually watches this show

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: he’s right you know

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: i hate both of u


Lily Evans to James Potter: can u stop making jokes about lamps

James Potter: i don’t know what u filamean


Peter Pettigrew to wes anderson is better than quentin taratino and you know it james: ALMOST 10K PEOPLE LISTENED IN LAST NIGHT

James Potter: HOLY SHIT

Lily Evans: james u owe me $50 and your 1st edition copy of the great gatsby

James Potter: i’d rather die

Lily Evans: then die, jim

Remus Lupin: christ

Sirius Black: u called??

Peter Pettigrew: what even is this group chat


James Potter to Lily Evans: was that u tearing up i saw in the sound booth when i was reading out my piece about foreshadowing in the simpsons

Lily Evans: i was tearing up over how bad it was

Lily Evans: there was something in my eye

Lily Evans: i think it was your complete lack of a writing style

James Potter: stop it


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: petition to kick sirius out of the group chat bc he won’t stop talking about scooby doo conspiracy theories at 3am

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i can scooby do what i want

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: blocked


James Potter to Sirius Black: WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ON IN 5

James Potter: sirs

James Potter: where r you

Sirius Black: ran in tp regulus at the cineplex

James Potter: where are you now

Sirius Black: field next to cneplex

James Potter: don’t move


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: sorry that there was no show this week folks!! sirius got mauled by a bear and i had to drive up to toronto to help amputate his right arm

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: @jimsradio who’s going to wank you off now

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: @remuslupout bitch im left-handed


Sirius Black to velma, daphne and fred: i’m sure evans would do it for you james

Lily Evans: you want to lose the other arm black


Peter Pettigrew to cry me a river lupin: maybe we should make our group chats accessible to the public to get more hits

James Potter: i would but no one wants to see screenshots of sirius in a bra

Sirius Black: by no-one do you mean everyone


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 20k hits the other night!! more content coming


Sirius Black to bitches bitchin: GRAHAM NORTON TONIGHT BITCHES

Lily Evans: are you sober

Sirius Black: am i ever sober

Lily Evans: good point


James Potter to sirius stop changing the group chat name while graham is in the middle of asking you questions: i think that went well

Lily Evans: james im leaving you for graham norton

Sirius Black: not if i leave him first


Severus Snape (@halfbloodprince) tweeted: @jimsradio feel like keeping your hands off my co-host you wanker??


James Potter to i haven’t been able to listen to eyes on fire by blue foundation since they played it over bella and ryan’s scene in eyewitness: how are we gonna handle this

James Potter: my vote is firmly rooted in manslaughter

Lily Evans: leave it to me

Lily Evans: but keep manslaughter as a backup


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince i wonder what it’d be like to not be so ridiculously self-involved as to impose yourself where you’re strictly not wanted?

Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince stay out of my life or you’ll be receiving numerous calls from my lawyer


Lily Evans to manslaughter: yes or no: its sorted

Sirius Black: you don’t even have a lawyer

Lily Evans: he doesn’t know that


James Potter to Lily Evans: whats a rlly interesting and extensive subject we could cover this week

Lily Evans: milk

James Potter: excellent


Lily Evans to tangled is so much better than frozen: im at the studio and i have liquor

Sirius Black: be there in 5

Peter Pettigrew: can u pick me up

Sirius Black: McNo™

Remus Lupin: i regret the day i gave u that keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: i dont


James Potter to Lily Evans: r u ok

Lily Evans: fine just sistet stuff

James Potter: u sound trashed

Lily Evans: thsts bc i Am

James Potter: where r u

Lily Evans: blcony

Lily Evans: jim

Lily Evans: can u tak e me hpme

Lily Evans: jaems

Lily Evans: i love you


Lily Evans to James Potter: what did i say last night

James Potter: nothing its fine

James Potter: don’t worry about it

Lily Evans: i am worried about it

James Potter: don’t be

James Potter: see you at work


Remus Lupin to James Potter: whats goin on between u two

James Potter: ???

Remus Lupin: you know what i mean

Remus Lupin: you keep looking at her and looking away

Remus Lupin: she keeps forgetting to give you your queues

James Potter: probably distracted by that hickey on your neck

Remus Lupin: i TOLD you i FELL OVER


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 100k! i’ve made @jimsradio promise to change his username if we make it to 1mil in the next two months

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: he should change it to @wanker

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: i checked its already taken by @halfbloodprince


Sirius Black to james potter and co: can you and evans stop eye-fucking during the sets

James Potter changed the chat name to i dont know what you’re talking about.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to yes u do.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to do too.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Remus Lupin: you guys know she’s getting all of these right

James Potter: shit


Lily Evans to James Potter: u have something u want to tell me

James Potter: i’d rather do it in person,,,,,if thats ok

Lily Evans: only if we announce our engagement during a set

James Potter: deal


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we hit 1mil! also @liljane and i are fucking

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: about time

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you don’t say

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: i do say

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: im blocking both of u

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: r u gonna hold up your end of the bargain @jimsradio

James Potter changed his username to @lilandjimsradio.

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: nice

UNDERRATED KPOP BOY GROUP RECOMMENDATIONS

Thought i’d pop in to tell anyone that sees this about some great groups with some great bops that don’t seem to be as popular as they should be imo

B.I.G - These boys are SUPER cute and very sweet. They’re really talented, and they have about 6 (give or take) videos for 1,2,3 (their latest song), one being them on exercise bikes. So Good.

Songs I Recommend: 
- 1,2,3
- Taola 
- Are You Ready

Originally posted by leegunmingroove

VAV - Now, I recently found this super talented, visually stunning cute group, and I haven’t gone back since. Who needs a bias in VAV anyway? 

Songs I Recommend: 
- Flower (You)
- Dance With Me

Originally posted by jang-peng

Topp Dogg - Now, I’ve loved these freaks for a while now and they STILL don’t seem to be loved by the masses? The members are adorable and their musical style can be literally anything, they’re just all round amazing.

Songs I Recommend: 
- Flower
- The Beat
- Rainy Day 
- Open The Door

Originally posted by fytoppdogg

Day6 - Maybe I’m wrong with calling them underrated … oh wait, I’m not. They’re the kind of group where people of heard of them but haven’t really listened to them. Trust me, when you listen to them for real, you’ll love em’. 

Songs I Recommend: 
- Congratulations 
- Blood 
- Shape Of You (Cover)
- She Will Be Loved (Cover) 

Originally posted by helloday6

Varsity - Relatively new. Super SUPER cute. Their comeback stage performances are great. If you’re looking for a new rookie group, here ya go. 

Songs I Recommend: 
- Hole In One

Originally posted by definitelythis

The Legend - Like the name says; legendary. They’re cool and look like power rangers in the dance practice for Crush On You, who doesn’t want that? The members are too cute for their own good.

Songs I Recommend: 
- Crush On You

Originally posted by allthekpopgifs

Madtown - STAN THEM!!! I’ve loved madtown for eons and when I say to stan them I really mean it. Seriously. They’re too underrated and underappreciated. They are literally amazing. Yes yes madtown yes.

Songs I Recommend: 
- New World 
- OMGT 
- Stunning

Originally posted by mdtowngifs

IMFACT - These boys do it all. Cute, sad, weird. They’re such a cute set of guys and they pull off all their musical styles really well. They’re easy to love and are worth giving a listen to. 

Songs I Recommend: 
- Tension Up!
- Lollipop
- Feel So Good

Originally posted by chaoticcassidy

KNK - They are literally so cute. Super cute. And so very good at what they do. I was sold at their debut and have been since, they’re really really good and that’s all I’ve got to say.

Songs I Recommend: 
- Knock 
- Angel Heart
- Back Again

Originally posted by softseong

UP10TION - Extra, cute and funny boys that serve looks and real good music. If you haven’t already, hit them up!!

Songs I Recommend: 
- So, Dangerous 
- Holic 
- Catch Me!

Originally posted by malegroups

AND, last (but not least, I might make another list lol) ……

CROSS GENE - Even though everyone and their mother has probably heard a cross gene song once in their life *cough* Play With Me *cough*, they are SUPER SUPER good and so so cute. Stanning cross gene will bring you no regrets, at least, no big ones. Maybe. 

Songs I Recommend: 
- Noona, You
- Play With Me
- Ying Yang
- Amazing Bad Lady 

Originally posted by sweetsangho

Hopefully if ya read the list you didn’t already know all the groups and got some recommendations. Even if you do know them, spread the word. Help them get more recognition for being GREAT!~

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

nori-wings  asked:

Maaaak, do you like shoujo? ♥ (I think you mentioned it to me once, but I'm not sure) if you do, what are your favorite anime/mangas?

LONG POST AHEAD!

I do like shoujo :3c  ♥ ♥ ♥ i’ve loved shoujo ever since Cardcaptor Sakura ~ (that was one of my fave childhood animes  ♥)

here’s a list of my favorite ones (so far, in no particular order):

ANIME:

1. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun / My Little Monster
the theme song is sooooooo catchy and adorable and so rainbow-y! there’s a maka look alike! (she’s in my header btw), and haru is just the sweetest dorkiest anime character. i have a soma au for this. and there is a love triangle. i need a season 2. i am dying. save me. this has been one of my favorite shoujo animes for a long time ♥

2. Kyoukai no Kanata / Beyond the Boundary
it’s kind of not a typical shoujo, because it has a lot of action in it- but the art & animation style is just #artgoals and #gorgeous and the characters are so lovable i could scream. also i have not watched the movies yet but i would so love to watch them soon

3. Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji / Wolf Girl and Black Prince
i honestly would recommend the manga (since it’s better than the anime), but i love the ending song???? it’s so catchy and i will make a soma animation for it one day. this was honestly the inspiration for my mak persona! i only recommend it if you read a bit of the manga and want to see it animated

4. Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso / Your Lie in April
if you’ve seen tumblr posts and gifs about this and know a thing or two about the story, then you know why this is my fave. the art and animation style is AHMAZING, the story is sooooo good??? (feels though im warning you)
the ending could have been a little bit slower? but it still wraps up the anime very well, it gives all the characters closure. (did i mention the characters are all lovable too??). also i want to animate the theme song for soma au not gonna lie

5. Akagami no Shirayukihime / Snow White with the Red Hair
the ones who produced this was the same animation studio that handled Soul Eater!! (studio bones)!! girl power tbh shirayuki (the red haired girl) is such an independent girl ♥ i love her.
also there’s a white haired boy who i think you’ll love cuz he is already one of my cinnamon rolls. freaking potential SoMa au i tell u (there are 2 seasons but i wish for another one) (also i love shirazenobi) (casually tags @l0chn3ss)

6. Nisekoi / False Love
soul’s VA is the same as the male main character’s VA. nuff said.
no but seriously i love every single character here. it’s the only harem i would dare to watch. it’s so funny and light-hearted and the plot will keep having twists. it’s really fun to watch. @l0chn3ss@flamedork and i made a SoMa au for it last soma week :D the anime ending had something missing to it, but i believe you’ll still enjoy it nonetheless ♥

7. Nagi no Asukara / A Lull in the Sea
OKAY I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS TBH out of all of the shoujo animes i listed as my fave, this one takes the cake. i actually did not expect any of the twists, and the story goes really deep. the ending could have gone better tbh (im so salty about how it ended too quickly), but the characters and how everyone interacts, it just makes you keep wanting to watch it D:
(plus! the art style is adorable im crying about it. the animation of the waves and the sea– and the opening and ending themes are soooo cool ♥ )

8. Cardcaptor Sakura
oldie but goodie! there’s also a reboot coming up (or a sequel i think? based on the new Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Cards manga- which is so amazing for people who love nostalgic shows) idk if i can say any more about it, but it’s a magical girl story! and i love every single character. syaoran is my blushy-blush child.

9. Kono Bijutsubu ni wa Mondai ga Aru / This Art Club Has a Problem!
this was one of the most recent i’ve watched and it’s totally not like all the others. mainly because… it’s just so random? it’s a school anime about an art club and i just love the characters and the randomness of it all. i totally ship these two who are just so cute together but the guy is too dense. eurghhh
(this anime has a manga but i havent read it so i cant say much about it)

10. Tamako Market
this is one of the cutest shoujo i’ve ever seen. oh my gosh- you will love tamako. for sure. also! the animation is so fluid and adorable! the opening will make u puke rainbows bc of the cuteness, and the ending is so aesthetic, every scene would be worthy for a gifset. the story is different for a school type anime (it’s more centered on the marketplace tamako lives in) and it revolves around all the characters and their development and relationship to tamako :3

11. Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai (i’ve memorized this anime title) / We Still Don’t Know the Name of the Flower We Saw that Day (or in shorter terms: AnoHana)
this anime is definitely one of the best ones. it will make you cry. produced by A-1 pictures, the same ones who animated this prized piece. you will definitely cry. it’s best if you watch for yourself if you havent watched it yet ;w;
p.s. i love menma so much hrhrrrr


MANGA:

1. Hirunaka no Ryuusei / Daytime Shooting Star
the art style of this manga is my aesthetic tbh. the characters and the love triangle is my fave part– for me, ending could have been less rushed tho (i will fight for mamura) (just a warning, there’s a teacher-student thing going on)

JUST LOOK AT THE ART STYLE DAMN

2. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun / My Little Monster
yeah this has a manga too! i love the characters and the love triangle too (you can see i have a type), and the art style is so lit, you’re gonna love it. i don’t remember if i loved the ending, but yeah it’s completed as well

3. Taiyou no Ie / House of the Sun
i don’t remember much of the story anymore (since it was such a long time ago since i last read it), but the art style is so cute it will give u cavities. it’s kind of weird since the couple may seem like siblings, but eh, they’re just really close childhood friends. if you like domestic fluff, you will love this.

4. Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji / Wolf Girl and Black Prince
i basically love the character development. the art style also gets better over time and the story so far is going through so many twists. i have not caught up too much so pls no spoilers :“)

5. Akagami no Shirayukihime / Snow White with the Red Hair
yeah this has a manga too! right now the manga is still ongoing so it’s not too late to catch up :”) i also need to catch up though hehe

6. Nisekoi / False Love
it also has a manga!! if the anime is super good, then the manga is so much better. it handles so much character development and i seriously got addicted to it the more i kept reading. unfortunately it’s finished (i wanted to see more heh), but the ending is kept with good closure for each character (for a harem, that’s a blessing), but it also depends on who you’re betting on for raku ;w;

7. Cardcaptor Sakura
honestly im not even sure how many chapters there are, but the new Clear Cards manga is still ongoing, so there’s something to look forward to :D


(not sure if i should add this but i want to talk about it :>)

FILMS:

1. Kimi No Na Wa / Your Name
have i talked about this enough? no? well im gonna talk about it anyway

it’s so amazing. i literally screamed all throughout (well maybe not really).
the animation. the voice acting. the characters. the designs. the music. the aesthetic. the story. THE STORY AGH you will cry. or at least be moved.

2. Koe no Katachi / A Silent Voice
this movie gave me a great hype tbh. even though the ending could have been a bit more thought out (as you can see i have such a high standards for endings), the story and the feels totally made up for it. it deals with a more serious topic than Kimi No Na Wa but it’s worth the watch esp if you like crying good animation and friendship-type shoujos (but u will have feels. i promise).

Dating Shawn Mendes Would Include
  • FOREHEAD KISSES OH MY GOD SO MANY
  • when he’s really tired he becomes a koala
  • head in your neck
  • his hair would kind of be across the bottom of your cheeks and in your neck and just kind of everywhere but its like ok bc his hair can stop wars
  • his lips would press to your neck during these cuddling sessions
  • YOU WOULD GET TO SEE HIM SLEEP
  • his long eyelashes laying on his cheeks
  • his hair would be curlier and messier than normal
  • his cheeks would b THE CUTEST COLOR OF PINK/RED ALMOST LIKE ROSES
  • his skin would be kind of hot too like not warm but burning
  • he wouldn’t let u go while your sleeping either
  • he would groan if u had to leave
  • hIS GrOGGy aSS vOiCE
  • after like a month of dating and spending a lot of time together he would want you to meet his family bc they mean a lot to him but so do u and he is so proud to have found someone like u awwww
  • before he kisses you his BIG ASS HANDs would hold you face or your cheeks
  • i feel like he’s the jealous type
  • and because he’s a leo,,, he wants to be the ‘dominant’ one in the relationship whatever tf that means
  • tracing his tattoos oH LORd
  • homeboy can’t keep his hands to himself when he’s in the mod ;)
  • your friends would send him videos of u singing his songs and he would have THE MOST smug smile on his face
  • bc his gf/bf is whipped for him
  • when he comes home y’all are attached at the hip for the first three days
  • telling u all the places he wants to take u some day
  • you just love watching him perform because he looks so incredibly happy and you live for that smile of his
  • bear hugs when you haven’t seen each other in a while
  • “Shawnnn you’re crushing me.”
  • “Sorry sweetheart, I just missed you so much.”
  • singing to you when you can’t sleep
  • 80% of his songs being about you
  • watching him work out
  • when he doesn’t have to get up early, u can bet you’re staying in bed with him the whole morning
  • trying to cook something as simple as pasta but somehow burning it??
  • blowing kisses at you and vise versa
  • ranting to you about how canada is so much better than any other country
  • trying to teach you how to play guitar
  • wearing Shawn’s merch because you’re a proud girlfriend
  • never really getting into big arguments
  • he only time you guys really bicker is because Shawn overworks himself too much and you get worried
  • on the rare occasions you guys do get into an argument, both of you usually just need a little space and an hour later you guys say sorry and make up
  • Shawn not even giving girls that flirt with him the time of day because literally no one compares to you in his eyes
  • you not even noticing when a guy flirts with you because Shawn is your one and only
  • noticeable hickeys
  • “These are gonna be a bitch to cover up,” Shawn grumbles while looking in your direction
  • you just winking at him and planting a kiss on his cheek
  • you being one of the first people to hear his new music
  • “Your fans are going to freak when they hear this masterpiece Shawny”
  • constantly supporting each other in any new endeavors
  • late night talks about random things
  • Him looking at you backstage while he sings your favorite song
  • Having wand duels
  • His face of awe when he sees what your wearing to a red carpet
  • Being invited to go on his world tour
  • Butterfly kisses
  • Passionate kisses
  • Spending hours in Barnes and Noble
  • Netflix binge watching when he comes home
  • Facetime dates while he’s gone
  • Going live on his YouNow with him
  • Good night and good morning texts
  • Snapchats where he uses the funniest filters
  • His fans coming up to you and taking pictures with you both
  • Having him with you while you get your first tattoo, or just another tattoo
  • Spending hours just reading on a couch together
  • Frequent trips to Lush
  • Waiting for him at the airport along with his fans
  • Him always comforting you when the hate comments get to you.
  • You always touch his hair.
  • Both of you constantly singing in the car.
  • Lots of cuddling.
  • You being considered as a power couple.
  • People being jealous of you. - When you have a nightmare he holds you while you talk about it.
  • Shawn always braiding your hair, and he gets really good at it.
  • jamming to drake during a long car ride
  • Having a small wedding for friends and family only

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

Wait what's the story about half the boys in your grade getting your class kicked out of Disney world?

Okay, if anyone is going to read this story, you are legally required to listen to the song “Turbulence” first. Nothing will truly make sense without it. You sit your ass through the entire damn song, if you try to skimp out on it the Elder’s will find you. It’s completely vital to the full experience of this stupid ass story. This ENTIRE story exasperates me

Now, okay, so my high school senior class….was relatively a group of good kids. It was a larger grade then I was used to growing up, so I obviously didn’t know everyone in the school personally, but I could pretty much recognize everyone in my grade, and like okay, there were a lot of class clowns and trouble makers™, but for the most part, no one was really a dick and everyone was generally a Decent Person.

Then, for some ungodly reason, the song ‘turbulence’ gets released. 

Now, I think the song actually came out in like, 2011 or something, but it caused Notable Problems with my grade in particular. It was deemed our ‘CLASS SONG’, and every time it played at an event or someone just played it for fun on their phone or something, every single kid in my age group just unexplainably went crazy. You never really knew what was going to happen, and it got worse each and every year- making senior year the year of Worried Faculty, and not without reason. 

Senior Year alone, before this Disney incident happened, the song ‘turbulence’ lead directly to the slightly-violent concussion of an unwillingly crowd surfing teacher and a few freshmen at homecoming, and it was also being blasted on a blue tooth speaker when a couple of boys in my class Lowkey Very Politely High-Jacked The Plane We Were On, so, when we got to Disney World, the chaperones made sure to contact whoever was in charge of our party and told them under no circumstances was this song to be played.

Anyway.

So the school does a Disney trip for the seniors every year- they stay in a cheap hotel and shove four or five withering and hormonal teens in a room, they go to the parks during the day, one night they walk through Universal and see the Blue Man Group in concert, and one night they usually have a big dinner and dance party for the kids, usually held in Sea World. 

But, you know what came out when they were planning the Disney trip? Blackfish. So, the school board (and a lot of the students) were like “UMM-” and that left them scrambling to find a new location for the party. 

The Disney workers, being Disney workers, were super helpful when the school mentioned this issue when they called to make reservations, though. They were like, “Oh, this is great timing! Your school always brings such well-behaved kids every year, and we’ve been thinking about opening up our Fantasia Gardens golf course as a party location! You guys could be our first official party!” and the school was super flattered so they agreed. Disney was providing a dance floor, food, a DJ, and everything else, and it wasn’t going to really cost anything extra, so the faculty was like, Super Excited about it. They thought this was gonna be a great thing, they were the experiment to see if they would try this with other schools, it was an honor, and it meant that they had a great reputation in Disney’s opinion, so maybe they’d be open to providing the school with free/new stuff/opportunities in future years.

Now, let me tell you something- I was Kinda Fucking Miserable for most of this trip. The first day was fine, but the second day saw my friends abandoning me in Magic Kingdom with barely any explanation, so I spent all day roaming MK and Epicot alone, save for occasionally standing next to acquaintances and talking to my different-school friends in a group chat on my phone, and then later that night my friend since third grade like, got a school official and cried to her about how I had instigated a fight and that’s why I was alone all day, which is literally such bullshit and not what happened, it‘s been 3 years and I still cannot believe she actually pulled this fuckery, so even though we made up later in the week I was still pissed the fuck off for the rest of my life the trip. All of my roommates (the deserters) were walking on eggshells around me, except this one control-freak girl who tried to micromanage everything I did (even though literally none of it affected her)  and none of us realized how pissed off I was until I apparently physically threw her out of the bed while I was in a deep sleep, multiple times, and also stole her pillow. So the only person who I wasn’t Fully Done with was this tiny girl from a writing class, but she was potentially Half-Hamster, exclusively wore clothes made for seven year olds, couldn’t go on half of the rides because of her glass eye, and 99% of her conversation points was talking about all the plans she had to hang out with one of the other girls I was rooming with (who didn’t actually wanna hang out with her/got mad at me the third day there because the boy she liked was flirting with me), so like…she was sweet but I also wanna go on rides and not hear how great the girls I’m lowkey in a Blood Feud with are, you know? She wasn’t exactly prime hang out material here. So by the time we get to this party at Fantasia Gardens, we’re all lowkey pretending like everything’s fine but like. It wasn’t hard to tell there was fighting going on. And you could just look at all the other students around you and see there was also fighting going on. Shoving so many kids in hot rooms is never a good idea, like YIKE. 

Anyway, I needed something at this party to be fun. I needed to be released at this point. 

I walk into the place and immediately realize I’m a fucking outlier amongst the girls- every single girl had opted for a sundress, whilst I thought a black skirt and a nice blouse would be enough. This should not have been a problem, but hey. High School. What can ya do. (it just made me more stressed) At this point I was like, this is it, this is it, I hate literally everyone in my high school. There’s nothing holding me back. Graduation take me the fuck away. But I had to make it through this party and then one more day in Disney. 

The room was like, a barn, kind off? Or at the very least it had been decorated like one. There was barbecue food, a dance floor, a lake outside, and a mini-golf course that we were told we were allowed to use at any part of the night. The DJ was playing relatively normal dance/club music. After about an hour of strobe lights and watching people dancing, My Friend Who Hath Betrayed Me and I decided to head down to the mini-golf course. 

There were these two guys there, and I didn’t really know them but they were clearly those ‘All Our Classmates Are Beneath Us Because We’re Alternative And Like Anime And Heavy Metal Music’ types of guys. They took one look at my ass in a tight black mini-skirt and immediately started flirting with me, and on any other occasion I would have shot them down, but 1) They were both actively focused on me over my friend, who I was still mad at and 2) I was frustrated - so I started flirting back even though I wasn’t interested in the slightest (and I had petty reasoning, of course, but I was 18, it was a bad week, it was 100 degrees, give me a break. I promise 99% of the time I’m not Awful). So anyway, we get caught up in a game of mini-golf with these anti-establishment boys, who spend the entire time dissing our classmates for, like, dancing, and looking for excuses to show off in front of me/touch me. We missed like half the dance because of this. 

Right when we were finishing our game, we were contemplating going to the other golf course (I was looking for an excuse to head back to the party tbh we were literally the only four people outside it was starting to feel like the set up to a horror movie) when a girl came up and told us to head back in because the boys™ had busted out the alcohol and we only had a limited amount of time before the chaperones noticed. 

(They sold alcohol at our hotel, a bunch of people had fake id’s made before the trip for this very reason). Me and my friend didn’t actually feel like drinking but we took the excuse and the boys followed us back inside (we lost them on the dance floor and I only saw them once again that night). Anyway, we arrived to what we thought was Chaos, but was truly only the Beginning of Chaos

Right off the bat, I noticed the boys from my Gov class and the boys I knew from detention were huddled around each other, muttering under the music. That, I knew, was not gonna lead to anything good. They see me, and they’re like “Javert! Javert people trust you! Go request that the DJ play turbulence!” and I’m like. No. What are you fucking planning??? But they just keep pressing me. They would not drop it oh my God. One of my roommates overhears this, the one who’s mad at me because her crush she never talks to was slightly flirting with me earlier, and she’s in a petty™ mood so she asks why they want it to play but they still won’t tell her, just keep insisting that it has to happening. So she’s all, ‘I can get it to play’ and struts off to the DJ booth with an exaggerated ponytail snap. I’m left with these boys like. For fucks sake please don’t get anyone killed. 

A few boys break off to go tap people and let them know what’s going on. The smell of alcohol is strong. Boys are starting to discreetly take off their shoes and any valuables and hide them under the tables. The chaperones aren‘t noticing any of this. 

I broke away from the dance floor to get a soda, and one of the teachers sees me looking mildly distressed and asks if something’s wrong. And I know. I know that I have the power to kill whatever the hell is about to happen. I’m the sole person in this room that’s clued in who’s not whispering in excitement and waiting for the song to play. I still don’t even know what they’re all planning on doing, but I could end this so fast, just say the words ‘turbulence’ or ‘the boys’ or ‘senior prank’, and this would be nipped in the bud immediately. This could be over before it ever started, all because of me.

And then I reflect on how shitty my weeks been going, how I was frustrated with most of the people in the room, how I needed something fun to happen at this party to release me from hell. 

I tell the chaperone I’m fine, just getting a little tired, and they drop it and head back to the buffet line. 

I head back to the dance floor. Everyone is grinding with baited breath. 

The DJ’s voice comes over the microphone: “I hear it’s someone’s birthday tomorrow! Let’s play her favorite song!”

Turbulence begins to play.

The class goes wild, wilder than they’ve ever been before. The building may as well be shaking from all the noise and music. 

The teachers are trying to get the DJ’s attention to cut the song. He can’t hear them. 

The bass drops

Almost every boy on the dance floor screams, runs outside, rips off their shirts and jumps into the fucking lake

It was absolute PANDEMONIUM. This wasn’t even the funniest thing they could have come up with but everyone left on the dance floor was loosing their minds cracking up. The teachers and Disney workers were screaming at the top of their lungs and trying to haul boys back onto the land. 

Then the manager of Fantasia Gardens starts screaming that there are alligators in the fucking lake

Like. FUCKING. IT’S FLORIDA. HOW DID NO ONE THINK THERE WAS GONNA BE AN ALLIGATOR PROBLEM. F L O R I D A. 

THESE DUMBASS BOYS JUMPED INTO A FUCKING ALLIGATOR INFESTED LAKE.

A L L I G A T O R S. 

FUCK.

All the boys eventually make it back onto land- no one had been bitten or killed or anything, although a few apparently did see ‘shapes moving’ (it was late at night, so nothing clear), and one kid got kicked in the head and knocked out for a few moments and almost drowned, but everyone was intact. 

DISNEY WORLD WAS FURIOUS

And like, you can’t fucking blame them. I’m sure when they were making the principal sign liability papers, they didn’t think to include ‘late night gator attacks in a lake’ on the list, they could’ve been put in serious trouble if something had happened omfg. But there was a LOT of yelling/ranting/cursing. NEVER before have they seen such inappropriate behavior, the school would not be allowed to step foot in the Fantasia Gardens EVER again, yadayada, that sort of thing. The more boys I found soaking wet, the more ridiculous this got- I knew which of them had planned it of course, but this was most of the grade. There were like, geeks and nerds and Good Kids™ who I never expected to do something like wild like this standing around half naked looking torn between proud and about-to-cry omfg.

Every single boy who participated got suspended for three days, but they had to space out which boys were suspended which days because they didn’t trust them to not throw a giant party on the days they weren’t there. 

The school is still allowed in Disney World every year, but are banned from Fantasia Gardens and received a fine. 

Turbulence’ was absolutely banned from being played at senior prom. 

FACTS ABOUT CONNOR MURPHY (spoilers)

So I have decided to post all the facts and hints about Connor Murphy’s past that are shown in the musical. It’s hard to make out considering people in the fandom usually focus on the lies Evan tells to figure out Connor’s personality.

To get this conclusion (which I will post in a second) I literally skipped all scenes concerning Evan’s lies and went directly to the Murphy family and what they say. None of these facts/hints involve what Evan said about Connor.

First of all, I’ll say now that I have put my own interpretation on each of these facts.

And so, I will put all FACTS in BOLD.
Anything out of bold is my own interpretation and how I see it to be. It’s up to you to agree with me or disagree.

First, I will post my conclusions on each family member, and then afterwards, I will post the reasons for each one.

Zoe

Zoe was an emotional and verbal abuse victim. There is no evidence of physical abuse, although there were threats that could have potentially led to that. She has all the right to not grieve over Connor, in all honesty, she could have sent him to the police for what he did, but as an abuse victim, that is very hard to do. Connor was probably the cause of most of her insecurities and she hated him for that. The unhealthy habit of taking out his anger on the nearest person to him probably made him lash out at his sister whenever he had a panic attack. Judging by how he really did care enough to keep the creepy letter about his sister, written by Evan, in his pocket for 3 days before he committed suicide, it’s safe to say that he really regretted being mean to his sister and actually cared about her.

Connor’s mom, Cynthia

Connor’s mom was a woman obsessed with reputation. She’s known as the rich man’s wife, and wants more than anything to be a regular family. But because her son had mental illnesses, her perfect image was ruined. She acted as though she was there for him but when it came down to it, she did nothing. She pushed for therapy but after a while, her husband took him out of it because “it wasn’t worth the money,” and she basically went, “welp, I tried.” I will quote what I say later: Connor’s mom might not actually be sad that her son is gone, but rather, she’s ashamed that her family actually doesn’t care. It seems like Connor’s mom is filled with regret for not being there for her son, and she’s forcing her family to act like they regretted it too, because that’s what a real family should have been like. But this is only a personal theory.

Connor’s dad, Larry

Connor’s dad might be one of the main sources of his depression. It is very obvious to me that Connor’s dad believed him to be a disappointment. He didn’t grieve for his dead son and only played along to make his wife happy. He’s annoyed by the whole situation. It even seemed like he hated the fact that there was fake remnants of his son in Evan. Almost like he wished Connor wasn’t friends with Evan so he could just forget all about him and not need to deal with it. At some point he was a kind father. When they went to the orchard together for picnics, it seems like they were a happy family. Connor’s dad had played with their toy plane together and had some great memories. The whole family practically forgot about this, though. Connor’s dad didn’t cry at his own dead son’s funeral. I think that sums it up.

Connor Murphy

Connor was a complicated person. He had many different mental illnesses. I could research which ones he probably had, but there’s probably already a post somewhere on it already. One thing for sure, is that he was unstable. He might not have been like that his whole life, but at the time of knowing him, the time he was briefly alive in the show, he was incredibly unstable. Everything and anything could set him off, and he probably hated that about himself as well. Pushing away everyone near him that could possibly help and hating himself for doing so, spiraling himself into a closed minded world of self-hate and regret, which is something that many people can relate to, including me. He did a lot of horrible things to his sister and to his family. I don’t blame his family for not actually grieving him, he was a really bad person. The problem is, he could have been a good person as well. He had all the potential to get better. He talked to Evan, probably wishing to say sorry about pushing him earlier in the hall. He was trying, he wanted to try. He wanted to get better. He just gave up too soon.

This post is very long! I’m sorry. If you’d like to read more, I’m putting the reasons I’ve come to these conclusions under the cut.

Remember, ALL FACTS ARE IN BOLD. Anything else is my personal interpretation.

Keep reading

@yuurier and I were talking so here’s some #highlights 

  • After the banquet Victor locks himself in the (Chris’) bathroom, downs a bottle of champagne, and cries while Chris threatens to break down the door. 

  • “I met my husbannnnnnd” “No, you drank 3 glasses of sex on the beach, told Yakov to plan the wedding, and then threw up on my Oxfords. Get out of the bathroom Vitya i need to take a shower.” 

  • Post “Victor is in love and he’s kind of freaking out” cuddles were Chris assures Victor that yes Yuuri loves poodles (He has a poodle actually which makes Victor cry more because he’ll be a good Papa to Makkachin then) no Yuuri won’t leave him if he loses his hair, and yes you should go to sleep so you don’t meet him with dark circles. 

  • When Victor knocks on Yuuris door in an Armani suit, bouquet of roses, and reservations for his favorite high class restaurant in Sochi he just stares at the maid cleaning it for 20 mins before calling Chris for emergency drinks. 

  • Phichit welcoming Yuuri back and ragging on him for 20 mins because Yuuri looks like shit (Can you imagine a hangover on a plane…) and he still has a sharpie phone number (smeared from his shower) on his chest. 

  • Yuuri expects Victor to be the god of flirting, romance, and pick up lines but nope the dude has literally learned all his dating skills from trashy romance novels. He still reads them, especially the gay ones, and pens to his favorite authors under a fake name. 

  • Victor literally buys “100 best pick up lines” at the airport on his way to Japan and has told Yuuri ALL of them by the end of the summer. 

  • After they start dating Yuuri loves them. He knows they’re bad, he knows Victor is LOVING how well they work, but god he just looks so happy whenever one “lands”.

  • When Yuuri dishes it back though Victor lays on the couch with a pillow covering his face asking God how many times you can fall in love. Yuuri keeps dropping them as Victor begs for his heart’s mercy. 

  • Y’know that thing where big dogs get excited and they slide around because it’s just 100 lbs of love heading for you? Literally Victor when he decides it’s cuddle Yuuri time. 

  • The amount of times Makkachin and Victor fight for Yuuri’s lap is every day. Yuuri loves it and has so many videos of Victor and Makkachin nose to nose “arguing” (aka Victor in Russian telling Makkachin in detail that is HIS fiance and Makkachin boofing and licking his nose) over whose turn it is to cuddle Yuuri. It usually ends with Yuuri sandwiched between Victor’s chest and a 100 lb dog (Who thinks he’s 10 lbs) asleep on his lap. It works. 
Jake Peralta: Stepdad!AU

So this was going to be an actual fic, but, alas, any sort of narrative wouldn’t come, so instead allow me to offer a series of (not at all canon-timeline compliant) headcanons about Amy Santiago’s tiny daughter taking Jake in as part of the family:

  • When Amy starts at the Nine-Nine, she is Very Adamant that Jake will never meet Maya, largely because a) He’s the worst, and b) Maya doesn’t need to see her mother curse out a fellow employee, but mostly c) He’s The Worst.
  • Except she only lasts twelve days, at which point Captain McGinley calls her in on her day off because he’s finally realized that his new detective has started and he wants to meet her, even though they have met four (4) times and he’s assigned two cases to her and Jake
    • It’s supposed to be a short meeting and she promises a very teary-eyed Maya that she’ll be real quick, but she needs to go in without Maya because McGinley looks like he might yell for some reason, Amy can just tell, and Sarge isn’t here and Amy barely knows anyone else and Jake offers, basically
    • Maya is just v. v. teary when Amy blows her a quick kiss before entering McGinley’s office
    • The meeting lasts exactly forty-seven minutes
    • Amy expects A Disaster when she gets out, or at the very least a very stressed-out Jake trying to pass her daughter off on someone else
    • But instead Maya is sitting in Jake’s lap with two of his superhero figurines gripped between her sweaty little hands, patiently telling a story while Jake writes on a piece of paper next to her
    • “And then there’s a dragon,” Maya says breathlessly, and Jake nods along patiently
    • “Fire-breathing or bearded?” he offers, and Maya really considers it for a moment before deciding on bearded. “Got it, I’ve jotted that down.”
    • “I thought no one was allowed to touch your dolls?” Amy asks when she gets to them, and she’s a little stressed out about this whole situation because Jake is suddenly, like, a kind person? Who’s been watching her daughter for forty-seven minutes and counting?
    • “Uh, obviously this is Red Metal Man and Mr. Star, okay.”
    • It’s not. It’s Iron Man and Captain America, and Amy can tell because she’s not totally out of the loop of the cultural zeitgeit, okay, and she sometimes pays attention to movie posters and has very definitely seen at least two of the superhero movies
    • “Plus I believe I said no Santiagos, and that was back before I knew there was a cool Santiago in the clan.”
    • Maya, meanwhile, has grabbed a pen off of Jake’s desk and is now leaning precariously over said desk and drawing on some of the large blank spaces Jake had left on the paper
    • And Amy realizes that Jake was writing down Maya’s story but made sure there was room so she could draw
    • Jake grins at her sheepishly, braces Maya with one hand on her back to make sure she doesn’t slip, and says, “It’s her vision, and she’s, like, a really good storyteller.”
    • Amy swoons, but in a low-key, subtle way. Probably.
    • Anyway, but Jake is also The Worst, so it doesn’t matter

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

BODY 👏 SWAP 👏 TROPE 👏 Hcs for members switching bodies with another member for a day what would they do 👻 You can pick who switches with who ~ love you 💕

i am loving this freaky friday shit

Yoosung in Jumin’s body

  • suddenly sleep deprived gamer boy has to play head of a massive corporation for the day?
  • he hates it
  • FIRST OF ALL, he cant understand anything anyone is saying
  • he cant even enjoy all the luxury of being Jumin, he’s too busy answering confusing phone calls that he has to clumsily stutter his way through
  • “Mr. Han, did you look over the marketing teams newest proposal for re-branding products to better appeal to a wider range of potential clients?”
  • “um…yea it was good. sounds like a good idea”
  •  “excellent. when you have time today please email me with-”
  • “yea sure tell Jaehee and i’ll do it”
  • “Mr. Han, i think-”
  • he hangs up, and that happens a few times before he even gets to work
  • gets lost like three times looking for his own office
  • as soon as he sees Jaehee he runs up to her and hugs her
  • “Jaehee oh my god this has been the worst morning ever everyone talks like their 50 years old and i-”
  • “Mr. Han? i dont think this behavior is-”
  • he lets go and brushes himself off, clearing his throat
  • “ah..um..yes, of course. i’ll be in my office…..assistant Kang…”
  • tries to pull his office door open, discovering that its a push door
  • all day:

Zen in Jaehee’s body

  • first of all
  • he knew Jaehee was a fan but like….
  • not this big of a fan
  • he is both overwhelmed by how thankful he is to have so much support and…a little freaked out?
  • also, he thinks Jaehee is attractive but who are we kidding, when he looked in the mirror and saw not himself, he was pretty upset
  • also pretty disappointed in Jaehee’s fashion sense but thats another subject for another day
  • there is no way in hell Zen was gonna go play Jumin assistant all day, he would rather die probably
  • and Zen knows better than anyone just how desperately this poor girl needs a break
  • so he decides to have a little treat yo self day!
  • he goes shopping and drinks fancy starbucks coffee and even gets a massage
  • he even snags a few cute boys numbers
  • (which yknow….Jaehee doesnt really need….but anyway)
  • he isnt really giving Jaehee a day off by doing this
  • but at least the massage will leave her feeling good in the morning!!

Jaehee in Seven’s body

  • cleaning
  • just, so much cleaning
  • also leaving the house to buy groceries
  • then getting a violent reminder that Seven is a very busy person when his boss calls
  • he sounds so scary and keeps talking about a “hard deadline” and someone named “agent vanderwood”
  • isnt that Sevens maid or something….?
  • well, no one can work on an empty stomach. not even the defender of justice
  • when she returns, agent vanderwood is there but she doesnt know its him
  • probably goes all martial arts on him, thinking its an intruder
  • vanderwood is a trained agent so he fights back a bit before being like SEVEN WHatTHE FUCK WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME ILL LITERALLY TAZE YOU
  • “taze me? arent you here to clean?”
  • VANDERWOOD IS READY TO KILL
  • “just do your work, alright?”
  • “um…yea…of course….”
  • KEYBOARD MASHING
  • Jaehee has no idea whats going on but she knows how to make it sound like she’s doing shit
  • starts working on C&R projects at one point

Jumin in Zen’s body

  • first thing he does is wake up and chop his hair off
  • all that hair just gets in the way?? he hates it??
  • that will be a nice surprise for Zen the next day :)
  • he knows that Zen probably has rehearsal and stuff but he’s not an actor
  • and he has a more important job to do anyway at C&R 
  • uuuggHHHH why doesnt Zen own any NICE suits??!
  • spends Zen’s money on a 3 piece suit
  • much better :)
  • then he tried to go into work just, as Zen
  • so many people tried to stop and ask who he was but he just walked past them
  • theres no time to try and prove his identity, he has to start the work day
  • finally he gets to his floor, where Jaehee is working at her desk
  • “assisstant Kang, i will be working in Zen’s body today. please forward my massages”
  • JAEHEE IS AEUFGGKWBEKJNSDVIHSEFN
  • THATS ZENS VOICE
  • but?? is that zen???
  • so upset because he has to reschedule all his meetings for that day
  • “i cant meet with the board looking like this”

707 in Yoosungs body

  • TIME FOR SCHOOL, KIDS
  • he has so much fun being Yoosung
  • hates Yoosung’s laptop so much
  • he misses his high performance laptop
  • finds a planner with Yoosungs class schedule in it
  • Yoosung doodles all over his planner, thats so cute
  • alright, he has to do everything he can with his one day back in college
  • upon entering his first class, he finds they’re taking an exam
  • its calc 2 so he aces it, of course
  • you’re so welcome, Yoosung
  • acts like a total smart ass all day
  • after classes he plays LOLOL for like 6 hours straight
  • Yoosung is literally so lucky to have me inside his body today
  • (lolololololololol)
  • also does all of Yoosungs homework for him
  • thinks to himself all day wow Seven, you’re such a saint

THANKS FOR READING!!!! SORRY FOR PUSHING MY YOOSEVEN AGENDA ALL THE TIME

edit: i love you too
Shower Fun

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

Imagine: It’s Elena’s birthday and Damon is insanely mad with you because you are running late. You try to rush things up, but your boyfriend Klaus shows up. Let’s just say things get steamy. 

*Requested smut, read carefully. :) 

Word Count: 1784



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The Last Word

I was rewatching that episode of Community where Abed and Troy kept hitting each other with pillows because they didn’t want their friendship to be over, and I just kind of liked the idea of an argument stretching out ridiculously long just because 2 people don’t want to stop talking ^^

college AU.

read it here on AO3!

“Dean, this is Cas - Cas, Dean,” Jo said, calling over the thudding music in the bar where they were standing, propping up the bar. She had a hand on Dean’s shoulder, and she gave him a little shake. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you guys since forever. I just know you’re gonna get on great. Cas, Dean likes philosophy, and psychology - that kind of thing!”

“I’m, uh - an armchair philosopher at best,” Dean said, throwing Jo a look that said, as clearly as he could without words, don’t play me up too much. Cas, the guy standing in front of him, was quite clearly out of Dean’s league - tall, lean, with the looks of an Athenian hero and the expression of a Roman statue, chiselled and unsmiling. Dean took a hefty swig of his drink, and smiled charmingly.

Well, he thought, you never know until you’ve tried.

“So, are you a Freud or a Jung kind of guy?” he said. Jo clapped his shoulder and moved off, evidently satisfied with the opener and feeling as though her introductory duties were complete. Dean watched after her for a second as she went, taking her social skills with her.

It wasn’t that Dean was bad in social situations - it was only that when there was just him and an undeniably cute guy, things tended to get a little… flustered. Jo, on the other hand, was perfectly at ease, and good at smoothing over the stupid things his runaway mouth tended to say -

“You can go and talk to her instead,” said Cas, and Dean started and looked back at him guiltily. Cas’ expression was unreadable, watching him watch after Jo. “Please, feel no obligation to enjoy my company.”

Dean blinked. Cas raised his eyebrows.

“I’m, uh, I’m - uh,” Dean said, wrongfooted. “I was just -”

“And I think - Jung,” Cas said, cutting through his fumbling. “Freud’s theories are too rooted in misogyny and phobia to be of any interest beyond the influential and contextual, for me.”

Dean swallowed.

This is going great, said a little voice in his head.

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