it was real pretty man

adreamofserenity  asked:

⭐️-Been forever with prompts but I do this thing.

Yorumei ever shows far less than he often feels.  For Chizuri, he felt quite a lot.  She fascinated him, for he had never met another quite like her in her shows of kindness.  And yet, she also always seemed like something near untouchable to him… which made her all the more interesting.  Yorumei would have sang for her, brought her to meet the various spirits of the forest, and let her join him, at least once, in his reverie to the stars.  But ‘business’ ever came first, always will, and her safety was on the line.  

So too is guilt incredibly powerful in Yorumei’s mind.  He couldn’t dare bring himself to reach for what he felt he might tarnish, or worse. So there were walls and walls and walls. At the very least, he would help her and do what he could to see her live the life she wished.  

Yet.

That time came and went, and he found he did nothing.  Not for lack of thought, not for lack of searching, but for lack of time tracked. So now, more often than not, when thoughts of her come to mind, the guilt is overwhelming.  Letters received solidified his concerns, he was absent, too slow, did not fulfill what he had claimed, and she was in dire need of aid.  

Yorumei doesn’t know Chizuri’s fate.  He hopes for the best, for a life she always wished, but cannot bring himself any attempts at reaching out for the feeling of failing her is too great.  She is even more untouchable now.

Instead, he treats her thought as a gentle spirit.  It’s true, he doesn’t know whether she is alive or not, cannot bring himself to do readings for her, to look into where he should not go.  But he sings small songs to the Quiet Lights out in the forest now and then, singing to just as small blue birds who might pass their song on to her. And he often remembers her kindness whenever the soft, inviting glow of paper lanterns catches his eye.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.