it was originally going to be a horse

“PfftTTT! Demelza! Would you look at that? George actually named his bank after himself. What a conceited twat! I mean, if I were to open a bank, I’d give it something, you know, subtle. Like, Cornwall National or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone - totally not me - leaves some horse excrement on it’s steps tomorrow…“

…And that was what was going on in my head when I drew this.

(Oh, come on Ross, you would name your bank Pennies At Poldarks…)

 I actually spent a lot more time on this then I had originally intended. Here’s a little inky Ross for Inktober. I like the end results of him, so I thought I’d finish him up a little more. I think I initially intended him to be a sketch. Anyhoo, I love him. *pets* (●♡∀♡)

youtube

It’s been 10 years since we first started taking the Hobbits to Isengard. I mean, it’s been way longer - the Hobbits could have fucking walked there, back again, managed to get served several times at the downstairs bar in Doggett’s and got a Southeastern train service all the way to Charing Cross since Tolkien put pen to page. But (and believe me, this is deeply unusual for me) let’s put J R R aside in this.

Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is kind of… well, both too faithful (total lack of critical interrogation of Tolkien’s absolutely awful concepts around race, gender, etc.) and not faithful enough in that it appeared to miss all the points your correspondent’s teenage self managed to find in the series. Specifically, where Lord of the Rings is an obsessively detailed but ultimately quite modest and traumatised epic, a huge amount of which is two small, starving creatures crawling around in mud having moral dilemmas. The Jackson films take themselves as seriously and grandly as the books came to be and as I suspect their author probably never did.

Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, on the other hand, is a pure and perfect work and I will hear no ill spoken of it else ye never receive a pint in a round bought by me again. 

It takes as its base the Hovis-theme-ripping-off music from The Shire - the small-worlded part of the films, before any grandeur is truly injected into the bloated beastie that is the trilogy. The Hobbiton theme is supposed to be homely, reassuring, quaint - like anything that succeeds at that, it sounds fucking amazing played on an airhorn.

The simplicity of the Shire’s theme is what allows it to so naturally accept the kitchen-sink style auditory ornamentation that is ‘a donk’. A classic staple of rave, it needs no introduction even in a world as apparently dislocated from two WKDs and a honk on some poppers as the miruvor-quaffing pipeweed fiends we see here.

As a lyrical piece, Taking The Hobbits is discursive - like many of the very best pieces of pop. One only has to consider the sweet, sweet tension of Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain or Brandy and Monica’s iconic The Boy Is Mine to recognise that dialogous pop is, when it works, a particularly sublime genre.

It doesn’t matter that the lines are, ostensibly, orphaned from their original place in the script - from the eponymous ejaculation to Gollum’s hissed What did u say??? they’re all perfectly addressing each other in the sort of gloriously confused cacophony usually reserved for a misunderstanding-based brawl outside a kebab shop at 3am. 

I remember the first time I heard Taking The Hobbits To Isengard. It was quite a momentous occasion because I still had dial up, so it took roughly the length of a decent pop song to load and it was very difficult to tell if it was deliberate or a bandwidth-related glitch remix for at least 30 torturously disrupted seconds. I’d imagined it would be a fairly quick joke - most internet video based things were, at the time, but no; a fully fledged song. That just kept going. 

The initial air horns! These are funny, yes because we remember them as the Shire theme, which isn’t even the music for this bit. The stuttering sample of the original line! Which sustains itself as Sheffield Dave-style shout out far better than it should, given it’s old seriousface Elf ears himself yelling off a horse. 

(In retrospect, should have equated that with Sheffield Dave earlier)

Then there’s …polka bit. Few pop songs manage to maintain a polka interlude - Bohemian Rhapsody springs to mind but Taking the Hobbits To Isengard manages to repeatedly insert it without losing coherency around its original rave premise. If you don’t think ‘Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him’ delivered over a little eurodance handbag bit is not both extremely funny and excellent pop, I can’t help you. 

Taking The Hobbits To Isengard would score reasonably at Eurovision. Not because Eurovision is actually the home of comedy trash but because if France (and it would probably have to be France in order for the Elven analogues to take themselves seriously enough) scooted in on an artpop platform and wanged loads of fucking airhorns round the stadium it would be entirely in keeping with European sensibilities of solemnly considering the totally whimsical due to our inherent reservedness about experiencing joy.

(The slightly older and wiser part of me has to question the repeated use of Gollum’s ‘stupid, fat, Hobbits’ which makes sense in the context of what he is but isn’t inherently funny, unlike a context-dislocated, bass-intoned ‘A Balrog of Morgoth’)

The great thing about Taking The Hobbits To Isengard is it actually gets funnier the more it goes on. Like Star Trekkin it not only sets out to commit to a fairly one-note premise but to hammer that note until it falls out through the piano and becomes a transcendent free agent, cascading through the strings. 

It takes a premise; that the Lord of the Rings films, in their overblown format, are very, very silly and runs with it extremely, deadly seriously. This is the core of not all but a fairly substantial chunk of really good pop, as well as an excellent manual for life. All things are here - a manic sense of imminent implosion, troubling past associated with racist ideologies, handcarts, hell, what did u say???

Very seriously; Taking The Hobbits To Isengard is a superb piece of fan work and it has substantially enriched my life to listen to it on loop for the past 45 minutes whilst watching a parliamentary debate on mute. Creators of this piece: thank.

3

Spring is here (even if the Heroes event is over; I only got Chrom and Lucina…)!

I was originally going to draw these, but I was too lazy to work my hand, so I decided to try something different. Either way, here is my favorite trio in bunny costumes! I hope you enjoy.

5

July’s Featured Game: SLARPG

DEVELOPER(S): Bobby “ponett” Schroeder
ENGINE: RPGMaker VX Ace 
GENRE: RPG, Fantasy
SUMMARY: SLARPG is a short, turn-based RPG following the story of Melody Amaranth, a kindhearted but meek transgender fox who’s decided to learn healing magic and become a paladin. She’s joined by her adventurous girlfriend Allison, as well as their friends Claire (a sarcastic, rule-bending witch)(she is also trans) and Jodie (a dependable, somewhat motherly knight). Over the course of the story, our inexperienced heroes will meddle with forces beyond their control and find themselves responsible for the fate of their quaint little hometown. They’ll also fight some spherical frogs, travel to a forgotten land in the sky, befriend a robot or two, and anger the local librarian. But that should go without saying. 

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Keep reading

6

Before the storm. 

I take a lot of photos of this horse, and although he can look rough and tough, he is my baby. It’s been 15 years now that we have been together and it’s been a lot of thick and thin. He lost the eye 5 months after I got him, and we were left to relearn life and see where we could go. He was my event horse, then show jumper, and now just my best pal. He has taught me a lot, but most of all not to give up when the going gets tough. He’s my boy. My Traveller.  

Plagiarism Alert

Alrighty, I am going to try and write this as eloquently as possible, but this is clearly what happens when I deal with things nicely. Some of you may remember that last year, user RugiRugi on asianfanfics stole my oneshot “Bad Girl” verbatim, simply changing the idol and posting it as her own. After being confronted, she claimed she shared the account with another writer who copied it. She removed the fic and issued me an apology, which I accepted. I decided to check her other fics and found she had also copied my oneshot “Lucky,” changed the idol again, and posted it word for word. She took that one down as well, after I confronted her, again claiming it was the person she shared the account with who had posted it.

Now, it has come to my attention that a oneshot of hers (link) posted this year is very similar to my Jaebum drabble (link). After reading it, it’s obvious she stepped up her game and copied my drabble, switched it to Namjoon and added an extra intro (which may be copied too - who knows), and then changed a couple words around. Not only am I infuriated with myself for not blocking this thief last year, now I’m agitated because when people do this, our usual Google searches to check for copied fics are shot to hell. Literally, our main source of spending potential writing time scouring the web for our stolen material has been taken away when a few words are changed.

I was going to handle this quietly, but I’m angry. This person literally stole from me a third time (posting her story a whopping 4 days after I posted the original) and chose to be sneaky by changing words around in an attempt to not get caught. This shows she has no remorse for stealing and that whole speech of another writer sharing the account and was the only one who plagiarized is complete and utter horse shit. To my fellow writers, please check this user’s other fics to make sure you haven’t been stolen from as well.

Thank you again to the user who brought this to my attention. Readers, if you ever feel like you’re reading a fic that seems too familiar, please contact the authors. In many cases, you are our only means of finding plagiarized material and you will never know how much we rely on you and what it means to writers when you look out for us. This shit hurts, it crushes our morale, and literally makes us reconsider posting any writing at the thought of anyone hitting copy and paste then slapping their own name on it for credit and recognition.

Listen, if you can’t write, don’t fucking write. Take up knitting or try to learn an instrument. Changing a few words doesn’t make it yours. Stealing phrases or paragraphs isn’t harmless, it’s still stealing! And if you’re copying entire fics, you’re lazy and/or desperate for attention. Get a pet. If you legitimately want to write and aren’t happy with the quality of your own work, practice until it gets better. That’s what the rest of us do. There is no cheat sheet or short cut; writing is hard work. Don’t EVER steal someone else’s creation.

If I were on mobile, this would be where I place a middle finger emoji. I’m so fucking sick of this shit.

Producers: hey we’re progressive! Look at our new BLACK character! Surely we cant fuck this up like the unicorn episode!

>makes her the ORIGINAL Powerpuff Girl, completely destroying any semblance of continuity, only to be abandoned by her white father, whom he sees as a mistake, so he can go on to create and accept 3 perfect white children


WEW LAD

(A table of contents is available. This series will remain open for additional posts and the table of contents up-to-date as new posts are added.)

Part Four: Writing Travel With Non-Humans

If a list were made of the top mistakes made by–particularly fantasy–writers, surely travel, travel times, distances, and the needs of animals during that travel would be right up there. Consider for a moment that Frodo and Sam’s journey took approximately 6 months to get from the Shire to Mount Doom. But Pear, you say, it’s not like they were walking that whole time! They stayed in Rivendell for two months after he agrees to take the ring! And of course, you’d be right, but consider that they are two days in Moria, and it takes the group 7 days to get from Bree to Weathertop, a time frame which was just travel, for the most part. Take a look at it on a map:

And now consider the entirety of the world map:

Taking into consideration breaks for eating and sleeping, difficult terrain, horses, boats, and walking, Tolkien did a fairly good job of making sure the travel times for his world were accurate or at least plausible.

Now consider that 30 miles is the maximum a human can walk in a day without stops and without considering gear, and it’s more accurate to guesstimate ~10-15 miles. It’s ~40 miles from Washington DC to Baltimore, Maryland and can be driven in ~1 hour. Now consider that roads and highways have turned difficult terrain into easily navigable areas, and that cars have drastically lengthened how far and how long we can travel. A team of horses pulling a carriage can expect approximately 50 miles over an 8-12 hour day. A horse will tire from a gallop after approximately 3 miles, but could trot 15 miles without too much strain as long as a few breaks to walk were interspersed. It’s been recorded that on one particular journey, a horse averaged 31 miles per day, though 20 is a more reasonable. (I haven’t put anything regarding companions with wings due to severe variability. Migrating Alpine swifts have been known to fly 200 days straight while other birds don’t even really glide very well. If your companion has wings, do very thorough research into wing bones and strength and do your best.) My point is: We don’t go as far as we think we do, and neither do our creature companions unless we care for them properly.

Long story short, distance matters.

When you’re trying to decide how long it takes to get from one place to another in your story, or attempting to figure out how long it would take an advancing army to reach their destination, consider that our modern view of maps and distances has become severely warped. “It’s not that far,” and “They could make it there in a couple of hours,” and “They’ll be here tomorrow,” are common assumptions for writers, but they might not take into consideration that our characters, creature or otherwise, cannot travel all day without pause, even on roads.

Terrain

Remember to take terrain into consideration. Your creatures accompanying your characters have different physiology than your humanoid characters, so how fast can they travel? Do they have the body strength to be able to carry someone, specifically the spinal strength? Remember that the more people you add to the back of a creature, the slower the creature will travel, even horses. Additionally, consider what their feet are made from. A horse’s hooves are a dense material that takes long usage fairly well (rocks and terrain difficulties aside) which is part of why they (and other hoofed creatures) make good pack animals and “vehicles,” alongside other factors. We don’t go around riding creatures with paws because paws rub raw faster when burdened with weight and asked to go long distances. Creatures traveling on their own legs will travel differently over different terrain. Remember when I mentioned earlier in the series that you should be thinking about where your creature companions originate from? Their physiology will be tailored to travel best over that kind of terrain. If they’re from meadows, rocky mountains will slow them down. Obviously, travel speeds will change depending on the terrain, and the endurance of your creatures will, too. Horses will become lame if rocks or other materials become lodged in their hooves (think about having a rock in your shoe!). Consider how terrain could impact your creature companion in similar ways depending on the construction of their feet.

Food & Water

The most common trope for feeding our humanoid characters on their journey is that they have rations in their packs: dried fruit, tough bread, hunks of cheese, dried meat jerky, etc. What’s often forgotten about is sufficient and appropriate food and water for creature companions. Water retention and metabolism rates vary widely across creatures. You can’t assume that they’ll function like your humanoids do.

When you were planning your creature companion and where they came from, I asked you to consider what kind of eaters they are (herbivore, carnivore, omnivore) to get a good basic idea of what your companions eat. They’re likely not going to be carrying around their food like your humanoids might, so you need to plan for your characters to either be hunting for the creature or to allow the creature to go off and hunt. But don’t just say, “They went off to hunt, returning three hours later with a bloody maw.” You need to know if the area they paused in has the types of foods your creature eats available. Know the environments they’re traveling in; know what’s around and what’s not. It’s okay for your creatures to go without a meal now and then, but it’s not going to make them happy or pleasant to be around the longer they miss out on food. Be aware of how their personality, their travel speed, their fighting capability, and their focus will be impacted when they are forced to go without food.

For emergency water supplies, it’s recommended to carry 1 gallon of water per person per day while cats and dogs generally need 1 gallon each per 3 days. These measures are not taking travel into account, which would raise the predicted amounts. We almost never think about having that much water hanging around our characters for their trek across wherever, but giving our creatures the breaks they will need and the water they’ll need often gets entirely forgotten. Take breaks. All-day travel is hard, hard work on anyone, car or not. Make sure your characters are traveling between places with potable water, whether that’s sources like rivers or cities with wells.

Stress, Sleep, and Special Care

Travel isn’t a walk in the park. It’s a long, grueling journey, filled with difficult decisions and dangerous encounters. There’s socializing and surviving, and it’s not as simple as going out to do the thing. Stress is going to come into play more and more the longer your characters and creatures travel. Think about how this increase in stress will effect your creature companions. Do they know what’s going on? What’s their perspective on the trip? Have they perceived themselves in danger yet? How will they react when they do? How do they deal with being forced to spend a prolonged amount of time in close quarters with others? Is that normal and welcome to them, or is it strange and not preferred? Will they seek out their own space or stick close to the others?

Remember that sleep is not going to be ideal. It may be few and far between, after long days of intense activity, interrupted by attacks, unfulfilling because of discomfort or anxiety, or any number of other things. You still need to consider how your creature would normally try to sleep, and then think about how they could if they needed to, because, trust me, they’re going to need to. Similar questions to those above should be considered including how your creature will handle going some sleepless nights. How will its mood and ability to handle changes in plan be impacted by lack of sleep? How about appetite and willingness to perform? All the problems we encounter with sleep, sleeplessness, interrupted sleep, and less-than-preferred amounts of sleep will need to be considered for your creatures, as much as for your humanoids.

Some creatures will need tending to when travel ceases, whether for a break or at the end of a day. They may need special attention like horses having their tack removed and a nice rub down, or creatures that traveled in a backpack or on a shoulder may need to wander a bit and stretch the legs. Please, please, pay attention to these things. There’s nothing worse than reading poor animal care from a farm boy going on their first big adventure. Casual mentions of the care and attention are sufficient, but completely ignoring this facet leaves out a big part of what travel is with a creature companion. If your creature is a mythical beast, break it down to its root characteristics to determine how they may need to be bedded down for the night. Are your dragons more lizard-like and likely to seek out warm places for the evening, perhaps burrowing for a nest in the ground? Are your hippogryphs able to find enough materials to nest in or do they take more to the horse side of things and sleep standing? Break things down and determine appropriate care for your creatures, then make sure your humanoids are performing those actions they need to ensure comfort for their companions.

Look. Just don’t forget you’ve got another character who has different needs. Don’t pass them off, don’t forget about them, don’t gloss over them. If you’re going to have a creature companion, you need to make sure you’re treating them like any other character and paying attention to their wants and needs the way you do for humanoids. Make sure you’re not asking them to go too far, too fast, without appropriate access to food and water. Take care of your creatures!

Next up: Contributing abilities!

  • isayama: i love all my children equally.
  • isayama: eren, misaka, miniature he-man, potato girl, potato head, horse face, freckled jesus, crystal, multiple personality disorder dude, cause of the entire conflict and trigger of the entire plot, queenie, and...
  • isayama: *squints at smudged writing on hand* yummy
  • isayama: ah, time to kill this one off-screen

Everything You Need To Know About ‘The Great British Baking Show’

‘The Great British Baking Show’ began as a national phenomenon in the United Kingdom and is quickly becoming a cultural obsession in the United States as well. If you’re just getting into this beloved baking reality show, here’s everything you need to know to get up to speed.

Losers of the show are exiled to Saint Helena to die Napoleon’s death: Winning the show only affords you the honor of victory, but losing means you must languish powerlessly on the small island of Saint Helena until you die, just like Napoleon Bonaparte did in the wake of his failed conquest of Europe.

The show imposed an age limit of 1,000 years after the wizard Zalurax baked an evil cake that came to life: Although The Great British Baking Show welcomes amateur bakers of all backgrounds, the show was forced to add an age cap after the 2,000-year-old wizard Zalurax appeared on the show in season two disguised as a kindly old widow. By the time Zalurax’s glamour wore off and his ancient face unleashed a bone-chilling cackle, he had already baked a five-tier cake capable of strangling all of the other contestants. The cake was finally gunned down after multiple casualties and a police standoff, but Zalurax escaped in a cloud of smoke. In an attempt to prevent a disaster like this in the future, the show instated a strict age limit of 1,000 years to limit the amount of insane, ancient wizards entering the competition.

In Great Britain the show is known as Food Going’s To Happen Now: The show airs under its original title, Food’s Going To Happen Now, in the U.K., but in the U.S. it’s known as The Great British Baking Show due to Food’s Going To Happen Now being the trademarked slogan of Cracker Barrel restaurants.

The Great British Bake Off has spawned a number of copycat shows, including The Huge Croatian Man-Horse Hunt, and its spin-off, The Rescue Mission For Contestants On The Huge Croation Man-Horse Hunt: Although critics panned THCMHH for copying GBBO’s positive tone and jokey manner, critics have applauded TRMCHCMHH for its riveting tone of frantic panic as one by one the rescuers realize the Huge Croatian Man-Horse has been following them the entire time they’ve been following it.

Hundreds of contestants have tried to defeat BakeBot, but all have failed: Over the course of the show’s 64 episodes and 28 specials, no competitor has ever bested BakeBot—a robot developed by the BBC to be the perfect baking machine. BakeBot’s coldly calculating, utterly perfect computerized intelligence allows it to create the most delicious pastries and cakes in the world, and it is simply too powerful for any human contestants to out-bake. BakeBot remains undefeated to this day.

5

Reader x Kol

Requested by Anon

“Well we are looking delicious tonight?” Kol smiled and bowed, the girl at your side whispering to you, letting you know who he was.

“You know my brothers?” You asked although the way it was said told Kol it wasn’t a question, more demand as to how the stranger knew you.

“Yes, although not as well as my siblings know them.” He admitted and you rolled your eyes as a delicate fan was placed in your hand, your Au Pair hissing that you were old enough to take a Beau so you should display your affections properly.

Keep reading

okay i need to spill some salt about worldbuilding

a few days(?) ago, i reblogged this post , and more importantly the rebuttal that came after that inane series of tweets.

But here’s the thing: a lot of those points listed could be good plot bunnies for an original story/world.

fantasy stories never explain horse breeding/evolution?  write a story about a character in a fantasy world who is really interested in studying horses.

stories never explain how everyone agreed on a certain measurement of time?  write a story about a fantasy clockmaker or something.

But here’s the thing; most likely the horse person would not give a fuck about the origins of time measurement–and vise versa.

When you worldbuild, there are going to be aspects of your world that aren’t important to the characters/plot.  Sometimes you have to expect your reader to “just go with it” and resist the urge to add needless explanation (look what happened to star wars when they tried to give a concrete explanation for the force).

If I’m reading your story and the only thing on my mind is “gee, i wonder where everyone got their fur cloaks”–then your story failed to engage me (unless your story is about a fantasy cloakmaker idk).

I also really dislike the sense of superiority that lingers throughout these tweets.  Back when I took more writing workshops, there was always at least one writer who was like “fantasy stories NEVER talk about poor dental hygiene, so my ENTIRE story will be about my protagonist’s rotting teeth and it will be GROUNDBREAKING!”  instead of, you know, writing a good story.  If you care more about shattering tropes than welcoming people into your world, maybe you should write think pieces about fiction instead of writing fiction itself.

I would rather read a compelling story with a decent understanding of the world than a story where it feels like the author is nudging me and saying “huh huh?  i’m clever, right?” every time they explain in excruciating detail where their characters’ shit ends up.

Context: we have a mix-and-match group that through some former encounters have become even more of a trainwreck than it started out with
Our group is made up of a half-orc monk, half-dwarf fallen paladin, half-orc druid, human multiclass (fighter, transmutter, and eldritch knight), and me the orc rogue.
Originally only the shaman was an orc, the monk and rogue died and was resurrected (which my character blames the monk and hates him for, as she was originally an elf)
This is a few of the things that happened last session, that I thought you’d enjoy, just small snippets of the weirdness that occured


GM: around you, you see the earth break up through the earth
Everyone else: wait, what??

Our Paladin has gotten both legs ruined, but won’t get them fixed, so he moves very slowly
Multiclass OOC: I go over and start to untie the horse
GM: you go over and start to take the horse Paladin wanted to take to escape?
Multiclass OOC: Yes
Paladin OOC: you son of a bitch!

Our Multiclasser is being attacked with arrows as the only one, is also one of two party members my character feels any kind of loyalty towards
Rogue OOC: I go over to the dead archer and loot
GM: …..okay….you can hear Multiclass screaming and grunting in pain and anger
Rogue OOC: I loot him, what do he got?
GM: ….it will take you several minutes to loot the body, while you can hear Multiclass being in pain
Rogue OOC: Okay. I loot the body
GM: *deep sigh* okay, you loot the body
He didn’t even have that much stuff, but did get a medi kit, which we need, since our paladin is fallen and the druid got corrupted

As we were trying to enter a city, our Multiclass tried to bribe the wrong guard (worshipper of the god of righteous and justice), causing the guards to search our stuff to check for anything suspicious (besides travelling with two half-orcs and an orc, who we are claiming aren’t actually an orc)
GM: okay, list what they will find in your bags and such
Monk happened to have some chains/handcuffs on him, which we hadn’t needed yet, but expected to
Guard: *holds up chains* why do you have these?
Monk: why not?
Guard: why…not…what do you need them for?
Monk: you never know if those come in handy, not with our work
Guard: what do you work as?
Monk: handy-man
The rest of the group was just staring at him in disbelief

And finally, this little question asked by our GM: what should the snake do to Paladin’s body?

Harley: Is Tony here? 

Bucky: Who are you? 

Harley: Harley.

Bucky: Harley who? 

Harley: …Look, I just need to see Tony. 

Bucky: Hey, have you ever seen ‘The Wizard of Oz’? 

Harley: Yeah… 

Bucky: Remember the part where Dorothy comes to the gates of the Emerald City and the munchkin tells her to go away and is about to slam the door in her face until she says she’s the witches Dorothy and then the munchkin says, “Well that’s a horse of a different color, come on in!”? 

Harley: Yeah… 

Bucky: Well I’m about to slam the door in your face unless you can come up with the ruby slippers. 

Harley: …I’m his son. 

Bucky: [pauses] Well that’s a horse of a different color, come on in! 

color8828  asked:

Another question for you (and other vegan horse keepers) can you explain to me why some think keeping pets (especially horses) is the biggest sin and others don't? What are your views and thoughts on the subject. I'm purely curious about your and others thoughts on this. I understand if you choose not to answer because of backlash. Most of my question can be found if you watch "Is Riding a Horse Cruel? Is It Vegan" by Bite Size Vegan.

Because people prioritize their philosophical need to not ‘exploit’ animals over the actual needs of real animals. I read an article on the guardian the other day about a Super Vegan who released his cockatiel into the wild KNOWING it was probably going to starve to death and die, but he just couldn’t keep an animal against its will :’’’’( 

Certain animals have been domesticated for thousands of years to the point where there is virtually none of the ‘original’ animal left. Like pariah dogs, mustangs. Even if you release them into the wild, they aren’t suddenly wild and free, they’re feral. They’re generally not sustainable or in a suitable habitat and only survive because of human intervention (scavenging dogs, BLM interventions). They have been selectively bred to interact with human beings for thousands of years. A lot of them dig it. My stupid cat won’t stop screaming for me to pick him up and my not-lap-sized dog won’t stop trying to crawl onto my lap when I’m on the computer. My horses won’t stop getting their spit all over me and my things.

I get the horse ownership thing more because yeah, riding can and often does damage horses physically, and a lot of training and riding is abusive, and pretty much all of horse training and handling is based in aversive stimuli, but I still believe there are ways to keep and ride horses ethically. That’s pretty much the whole point of this blog lol. Maybe that’s not true if you’re a black and white Remotely Enjoying An Animal’s Presence Is Exploitation person, and hey even if you’re just a casual vegan or +r advocate maybe not, but my focus is always on animal welfare over Animal Rights TM because I think way too many animal rights advocates end up operating against the best interests of REAL, CURRENTLY LIVING animals because they have their head up their asses about theoretical animals.

as you can see I’m 100% biased. I could make a way more neutral post and bring in some sources and tag some people and be eloquent but i’ve only had 350 calories today and I’m not feelin it

I hope you guys don’t mind if I go off on a tangent here for a second. 

For anyone who doesn’t know about Slippy the magical wonder horse, you probably should. Sleipnir (roughly translated to “Slippy” or “the slipper”) is a mythical eight-legged horse who serves as Odin’s faithful mount in Norse mythology. But how did Sleipnir come to be, you ask? What is his origin story? Well sit your asses down, dear readers, and I will tell you.
As the story goes, some guy and his horse were commissioned to build a wall around Valhalla, except the gods didn’t want to pay him for it. In response to this issue, Loki decided it was a good idea to turn INTO A HORSE and seduce the guy’s workhorse in order to prevent him from finishing the wall in time. After running around and doing horse things all night, Loki - as a FEMALE HORSE, mind you - became pregnant and gave birth to a gray horse foal, who just so happened to have eight legs for some reason. 
So here we have Slippy the horse, who is described as “the best of all horses” due to the fact that he has eight legs and can run SUPER FAST. Because, you know, the more legs the better. I just want to clarify that this is all canon in Norse mythology, by the way. You can read about it in the wikipedia article here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleipnir. So know that this is real, and I am not making it up.

Loki’s son, Slippy.
Slippy the horse.
Slippy the F**KING HORSE. 

Anyway, thank you for reading this important public service announcement. In appreciation, I have provided you with an animated depiction of what Slippy might look like while running. This majestic creature wears an expression marked by blind jubilation, as I imagine it is the only emotion Slippy knows. 

anonymous asked:

but what if Keith isn't able to save shiro this time. what if unlike Zarkon with Honerva, he makes the decision to finally let shiro go. because making a complete parallel from head to toe wouldn't make sense on the writers' part.

Oh I agree that I don’t think an exact repetition would make sense either, but another thing to consider is–Zarkon’s choice turned out disastrously, horribly, wrong. It’s pretty much a guarantee in a show like this that a successor is meant to surpass their predecessor. Keith has also said “Maybe things aren’t as black and white as they seem,” so I’m inclined to believe that, when forced to choose between two horrible extremes (sacrifice his loved one or risk the safety of the universe) he’ll be able to find that third option Zarkon neglected to see. An alternative that spares Shiro without putting other innocents at risk. 

And if you want to talk about not repeating the same thing over and over, killing off Shiro would be feeding into that. We’ve seen him die in pretty much every incarnation of this series. It’s what’s expected. There’s nothing new or innovative about having Shiro die for like the seventh time. Even trying to use it for shock value would be tiresomely repetitive because in VLD alone we’ve seen this whole “oh no, Shiro’s gonna die!!” thing come up again and again. That dead horse ain’t getting any deader. 

We’ve even seen Keith presented with the exact choice to sacrifice either Shiro or Voltron at the end of the original series. And despite choosing to save Shiro, the guy still dies anyway. I don’t see why a reboot would present this same choice if they were just going to kill Shiro off again.

At this point, Shiro’s sacrifice would feel meaningless. This is especially true when we’ve already seen the paladins react to his “death.” We know that Keith has mourned Shiro not once but twice now, have seen him literally go through the five stages of grief only for everyone to tell him to move on. And finally, gradually, he starts to take up Shiro’s mantle just like he wanted–only for this other version of Shiro to suddenly pop up and join them. That’s not how you write a character that’s going to die. It makes zero sense to have them already be mourned and remembered if you’re just…going to bring them back and kill them again. 

There’s also no “lesson” to this. Keith’s been grieving Shiro since Kerberos, unwilling to give up on him no matter how dire things get. And throughout the first two seasons we see him really latching onto Shiro and refusing to let him go whenever Shiro mentions he might not make it. That simply isn’t an option. We see this same behavior intensified in season 3. If Keith’s lesson was that he had to make his peace with losing Shiro and let him go, it makes no sense to throw him back after that only to unceremoniously kill him off again later. 

You also have to keep the audience here in mind. From what I remember, the showrunners said  they made Voltron for two sets of people–viewers who grew up with some prior version of Voltron and were already fans, and new fans who are obviously much younger, we’re talking little kids. So anyway, I’m sure you can understand why they wouldn’t present “learning to sacrifice your significant other for the sake of duty as your obligations must always come before personal attachments” as a moral for 8 year olds. Like, I’m pretty sure at the end of the day here it’s going to be some variation of “love conquers all.” 

Also, consider for a moment this whole thing about Keith having difficulty controlling his galra side, being possessed by these same volatile emotions we see reflected in Zarkon. Keith’s literal worst fear is feelings, and he struggles to bottle them up and drown them out at every chance he gets. That’s not healthy. Teaching someone like that to sever their only healthy, longterm relationship with someone for the sake of some abstract “greater good” is just an inherently damaging message. Showing that Keith’s intense emotions and attachments aren’t automatically self-destructive or dangerous, that he’s allowed to love and be happy–that sounds more like dreamworks to me.