it was on tv and this part always gets to me

Be Lonely With Me - Chapter Nine (Bughead AU)

Summary:  A young single mother and a successful author meet at a creative writing class in New York. Betty is trying to get the education that she had to sacrifice to bring up her daughter and Jughead has run out of inspiration for his new novel. Can they help each other?

A/N: Okay thank you to my wonderful beta @allthingsbughead you’re a real queen girl <3 

Warnings: SMUT!! There are references to sexual assault in this chapter so if that triggers anyone then please don’t read! No flashbacks, just dialogue. 

chapter list here
read on AO3 here

Jughead peered out of the window of the taxi, staring at all the Christmas lights and decorations that adorned the streets of New York. The shop displays were incredible, as they were every year, and the snow whirled down from the dark night sky relentlessly, piling up on the rooftops and pavements. Jughead had missed the snow, he hated how warm it was in LA all year round.

The last week in LA had been almost painful. He had to attend repetitive interviews and sign his signature in so many books that he had started to hate his own handwriting. He had never particularly liked the public side to his career. But above all, he missed Betty. Over the last few days he had become positively gloomy, resulting in numerous scoldings from Toni who insisted it was impossible to miss someone so much after only knowing them for such a short time. He didn’t understand it himself. Jughead had had a couple of girlfriends before but nobody that he had actually missed, they didn’t make his heart race.

His heart was racing now. In a matter of minutes the taxi would pull up outside Betty’s apartment block and she would be in his arms again, infusing his senses with her vanilla scent and making his heart melt with one look into her sparkling green eyes. He missed Josie too. He didn’t realise how much he had grown to love the little girl until he was in LA and not listening to her constant babble. He had been to a four floor Disney store with Toni when they had some time off and together they had bought the little princess everything she deserved for Christmas. He knew that Betty would tell him off for spoiling her but he didn’t care. All the work over the last couple of weeks had earned him a massive pay cheque - more than he had ever dreamed he would receive - and he intended to spoil everyone he cared about this Christmas.

“This the right place?” the driver asked.

“Yes, thank you” Jughead replied.

The taxi stopped outside Betty’s apartment block, he could see the warm glow of the living room lights through the apartment’s window, and Jughead quickly paid the driver with a generous tip and hauled his bags out of the back of the car. He hadn’t even bothered to drop by his own place first and get rid of his luggage. He was staying the night at Betty’s anyway so he figured he might need some of his stuff.

The elevator ride seemed to go on for hours and Jughead silently cursed the old building, unable to understand why Betty was so attached to it, but eventually it reached her floor and he pulled his suitcase out onto the corridor. He usually turned up at Betty’s doorstep with flowers, but he had come straight from the airport so he had failed on that front, but he had sent her a bunch of roses to be delivered to her apartment last week. Unfortunately, it didn’t have the desired effect as she ended up video calling him in tears because she missed him so much.

Jughead ran his hand through his mop of dark curls, securing his grey crown beanie on his head, and rang the doorbell. His heart skipping a beat when he heard Betty’s footsteps on the other side, and his breath left his body when she opened the door.

She looked perfect. Jughead knew that she hated that word but there was no other way to describe her, the camera on her phone didn’t do her justice. Betty was wearing a simple white vest-top that clung appealingly to the curve of her breasts and a pair of black high-waisted leggings. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun and her green eyes were framed with a thin layer of mascara.

“Betty Cooper, you are a sight for sore eyes” Jughead said, his face breaking into a boyish grin. Her eyes lit up and she smiled back, closing the minimal space between them as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close, Jughead wound his arms around her slim waist and kissed her bare shoulder softly. He felt her shudder at the contact.

“I missed you so much, Juggie” she murmured against his neck, her breath tickling his skin.

“I missed you too, love” he replied. She pulled back, just enough so that she could see his face, and pressed her soft lips against his. It was gentle at first, her lips just brushing against his as her delicate fingers caressed his sharp cheekbones, but she let out a quiet moan as his fingers danced along her spine that melted Jughead’s self-control.

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anonymous asked:

I loved that little one shot "sing" could you do a part 2 where the baby is here and he sings the song to him and the baby is just staring at him completely relaxed and contented by Nialls singing? 😃😃

Originally posted by undertheniall

I’m so sorry this is so short. I really don’t know what else to add to it. If you have any ideas, please feel free to tell me and I can always add to this! Thank you for the request, love xxx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been one month since our little miracle was born. Niall and I were so grateful that he was here and healthy. He didn’t sleep much at night but it was so worth it. He was precious. 

It was getting late and the three of us sat on the couch. Niall had our little bundle of joy cradled in his big arms. I rested my head on Niall’s shoulder as we both admired our beautiful son. The tv was on low volume in the background and the fireplace was sparking in front of us.

“We made a really pretty baby.” I whispered, admiring every feature on his gorgeous face. From the little hairs on his head to his tiny little toes. 

“We really did.” My husband grinned back.

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How To Come Out in A Conservative Society

An History Lesson on Ellen DeGeneres and Theories about BTS

First, let me start off by saying that I know this is going to piss off some people. Your precious boys can’t have a bad rumor spread about them, can they? 

Well, fun fact: These rumors about idols have gone on for years, and they still have jobs. The rumors aren’t the problem, because when it comes to LGBT rumors, unlike straight rumors or controversies, Korea readily just accepts them as not possible and so someone can be rumored gay and nothing come from it, unless it was ever confirmed, so again, the rumor isn’t the problem. The lack of acceptance if said rumors are confirmed is the problem, because idols can only work if a company feels they will be able to make money. It is simple economics. If fans are not willing to accept and openly express acceptance, how can we expect a society to? How can we expect companies to feel that their artists have a market? Now I understand Korea has a thing about censorship despite fan reaction. This is a part of the problem, and it is a complicated political setting in which I do not understand and therefore cannot determine the ultimate solution. 

All I can say is this:

Guys, America was not always as accepting as it is now. America did used to be like Korea, and none of the laws for the LGBT were in place. What changed? The people. If you, as fans, are so set on protecting idols that you inherently promote the idea that being LGBT is an issue, even if you don’t mean it that way, you are being problematic to the cause. Discussing it openly allows idols and even companies to see the acceptance among fans, and fans educating other fans about it allows the societies to see the change in the people. You have the power but when you so adamantly push to censor the discussion, you give the power to those who wish to not acknowledge the LGBT. Talking is good, and could really help an LGBT idol feel better about themselves if they are LGBT.

NOW ONTO THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION!

So, BTS wants to visit Ellen. This is very interesting to me, as I have always felt a slight connection of their stories. I have a theory, but you have to actually hear me out to try and understand that this is something legitimate and not just some delusion of grandeur. 

First, how many of you actually know the history behind Ellen?

Well, I am going to assume that a lot of you are younger than me. BTS is younger than me lol. So, in the 90s, Ellen DeGeneres was an American television sweetheart. People loved her. American families watched her all the time. She was really popular. She had her show Ellen, which if you didn’t know, was not the talk show she has now. It was an actual sitcom where she played a character named Ellen. She boldly made the choice ON THE SHOW to have the character come out as a lesbian, and the next day on a talk show, she came out herself.

It was a bold move in the 90′s when LGBT rights were in the shitter. Still, if you look back, she actually was quite clever and strategic. She played the every woman and that’s why families loved her, but you will see hints of her sexuality. She used her medium and talent to subconsciously familiarize her audience with the idea of her being LGBT. It took a lot of work, and trust me, her coming out was not ENTIRELY smooth, but it went quite well. She was one of the few at the time to come out and have her career thrive after. 

She after that managed to have the highest viewed day time talk show that still runs today, a role in one of the most beloved children’s films, Finding Nemo. In fact, a open lesbian having a role like Dory in a children’s film at all was a huge deal. She managed to do all of this and land a deal with JC Penney and Covergirl, and her net worth is 350 million. She even for over a decade remained with her wife Portia, all while her career grew. Sure, along the way there were idiots who condemned her, but most of America loved Ellen.

All from a woman who wore short hair, gender non-conforming fashion, and openly lived as a lesbian in the 90′s. She may not be too shocking to you guys, but she did “look like a lesbian” in what people would have defined (don’t take this as my belief).

How? 

Just being someone everyone can connect to! She was happy and funny and wanted the world to laugh! She showed that LGBT people are just like everyone else. They wanted their rights, and that was all. This is a discussion for an entirely different subject, but I as an LGBT can tell you that while I think people should be accepted and able allowed to behave in the manner they see fit as long as it harms no one, there is value in LGBT who are not defined by the stereotypical “LGBT” behavior and are simply just day by day people who live just like you. Ellen did not over-exaggerate her sexuality’s stereotypical behavior. There is nothing wrong with being flamboyant, but sometimes sadly, the first step to acceptance is to be able to empathize and she was the one to be able to connect to easier, and with time, starting with people like her being accepted, times changed, and now we are seeing acceptances for all forms. It isn’t perfect, and it probably never will be, but it is there. She pushed boundaries, but she did so strategically and it worked for her.

NOW LOL WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH BTS?

Well, if you are familiar with their music, behavior, ethical principles, and the HYYH, then you might see where I am going with this.

Firstly, I would be here for hours if I mentioned all the various moments were they referenced something LGBT or did something related to. There is the Japanese Jungkook fanboy, Glam’s Party XXO, Namjoon’s words about the issue, Yoongi and his fuckery, Troye Sivan ultimate stanning, ‘I Know’ etc, but let me continue with my point.

I feel that BTS are familiarizing their fans with the idea of LGBT within idols. Idols have always had fanservice, and idols have always had ones who professed acceptance. There have even been idols that have hinted towards ideas of LGBT in their art (like Monsta X’s All In) but if ARMYS are correct about the HYYH, there may actually be the first LGBT narrative involving idols (KWill’s Please Don’t featured an LGBT plotline but I am talking about the idol themselves being involved). 

There have been hints that Yoongi and Jungkook within the narrative have a romantic plot. The HYYH Notes give this idea some light. Granted, we could be incorrect, but it does seem to be the case with the narrative text. We will have to see in the future where they take it.The Love Yourself highlights also hint at this. Then, Namjoon’s insistence on Love Yourself: Her being gender neutral. I think this is for a specific purpose as well.

Then there was the photoshoot with Jimin and Jungkook on the same rainbow unicorn float that was used at Korean Pride that same summer. I do not find this coincidental at all. There is a message, and I find that they are trying to send it in a palatable way for fans, which sadly shouldn’t have to happen, but it is the society we live in. There is the fact that they covered a song without changing pronouns, which would be ignored had it not been for the recent Namjoon comments and the fact that the BigHit survey featured more than the two genders. I think they recognize all of this. I think that this is all to familiarize fans with directly associating idol with LGBT. 

They are pushing boundaries, but doing so strategically.

Now, this next part might split some people, because it involves two members together, and I know people get pissy but hear me out. Please note that while you may think I am wrong, if you believe there are other LGBT members, the former discussion still applies.

I think the recent events involving Jungkook and Jimin are not fanservice. They are real events that are used by the two for fans. Let me explain: If they are together, they are spending time together, publicly interacting, and expressing themselves more. They are doing this because they love each other, but this is shown for fans for the purpose I believe of getting fans used to the idea, so that if they did eventually come out, it would not be such a shock. Much like Ellen did. I could be entirely wrong, but I think every moment is genuine and they are just showing it to people they care about to show their love. It can be a gift to fans, but that does not make it fanservice. 

As, I said, take the last two paragraphs away, and my point is still relevant, but I do believe they are utilizing this as a chance for members to come out who would not feel comfortable doing so before. I find at this point in time, the most likely is Jimin and Jungkook.

For sure, Jungkook. I always believed him to be some form of LGBT.

NOW, what does any of this mean? What does the future hold?

Well…

You got me.

If I am correct, and I believe I am, this means that BigHit and BTS will eventually tackle the idea of LGBT head on. I think an issue is with the Korea Unicef program, as it is 2 years long, and Yoongi decided not to get a tattoo to be able to do it, so what makes us think being LGBT wouldn’t be an issue, BUT who knows? They may utilize the fact that they are the current most successful Korean idol artist on a national and worldwide scale to see what can happen. Not changing the language they sing in reaches to their intent for change and being a voice for Korean youth, and utilizing the international fame allows them to bridge the youth they are reaching to with the liberalism of Western media.

The thing is in order to not kill their careers, they have to be big enough to survive it. That is why the first part of my essay is so important. Fans are the key. Our support and votes, and yes, our money, is the key to them being big enough that they are untouchable. That might not ever truly happen but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. If we can have an idol who is LGBT that is as big as them, that can invoke change…

JUST LIKE ELLEN. It takes time. Things didn’t change immediately after her, but damn if life didn’t get more and more progressive. I also credit so many others for that, but this is about them.

Please, take into consideration that I put a lot of thought into this before you brush me off, BUT ultimately this is my opinion. Good Day.

It Takes A Long Time To Get Over Yourself


Oh, man. This letter has taken me an embarrassingly long time to write. Probably because I haven’t written anything but e-mails and Tweets for 12 years.

If the last year has taught me anything, it’s this: it takes a long time to get over yourself.

Last March, after 7 years on the road, I decided to take a break. I was excited about this. I’d imagined myself watching tv all day, being a “chill person”, eating doughnuts because I didn’t have to wear latex catsuits anymore. The reality was not quite the joy ride I’d been expecting.

I’ve been an artist for over a decade but up until this year, I hadn’t realised how much my sense of self had been defined by my role as an artist. I’d never thought of “Marina and the Diamonds” as a persona or a construct, and I didn’t think the stage-me was very different to the sofa-me. MATD was an exciting vehicle that helped me express ideas and thoughts to people. But just as people construct online personas, artist construct visual ones, and over time, the lines between art and reality can drift apart. 

I can’t remember when I first became conscious of it but I started to feel like there were two parts of me, artist self and private self, and there was nothing in between to link the two anymore. I was one or the other, and neither part of my personality could be present in the same environment. Perhaps because I’d spent most of the past 8 years devoted to being an artist and this hadn’t presented many opportunities for other parts of my personality to grow. When one part of a personality dominates, other parts shrink and life can take on an unreal, two-dimensional quality. I felt confused as to why I no longer felt like I fit into the world I’d built. I don’t think my feelings are exceptional (particularly in entertainment) but I wonder if you are someone who has experienced this in a different context.

I’ve always been interested in identity. In my twenties, I felt frustrated by how regularly my identity seemed to shift and change until I began to consider the idea that a fixed self may not exist. I explored this in “Electra Heart” by deconstructing aspects of female identity in a portrayal of female archetypes. However, the past year has made me re-examine this idea. Not being able to equate my identity to a job, project or visible entity has created a lot of discomfort and uncertainty in me. Which has been a surprise, as I thought I felt secure in myself. How can I be so sure of who I am if I am so susceptible to change? A lot of what contributes to our idea of identity is down to pure chance - ethnicity, social class, upbringing, religion, job, relationships - who are we without those influences?

Everything in western culture feels so geared towards self-definition, but I wonder if having a looser idea of yourself could make life richer. The past year hasn’t been full of rainbows - I feel like my brain has been brutally rewired - but letting go of a perceived idea of myself has resulted in a new kind of personal freedom. My image is no longer a main source of identity, nor are previous signifiers like clothing (more on this in a future post), designer brands + other things I subconsciously used to define myself.

Lasting change rarely happens over night. This past year has been painful and slow. But I’m in a more genuine space than I was a year ago and I would never want to go back to that stunted way of being again. In fact, the only solace I had in this period was being able to read the books and blogs of other people experiencing significant life transitions, so I hope this might be of help to anyone who is going through a similar stage.

Truth is, I’m not planning ahead much right now. I am indeed going through my “what should I do with the rest of my life” phase that most people go through at 21. Which is… cool. But I’m grateful to have the opportunity to explore different interests, and starting marinabook is a part of that. I’m starting a Psychology course soon, which I am SO excited about, and I’m ready for a brand new chapter. I hope you’ll be a part of it.

Some people have been asking about new music and I’m always flattered to be asked. I know one year is like an aeon in digital time! The honest answer is I don’t know when that will be, but the connection I have with music has always flowered from an honest connection with myself, and I trust my instincts. Whenever I get back on stage again, I would love to feel like I am the sum of my parts, not the sum of a persona or an image. That’s the goal. A lot of reality with a little bit of fantasy. So, marinabook is a way for us to stay connected while I work that out.

I miss you all!

Ask a question or share thoughts here.

Love from,
Marina

Further Reading

Brilliant explanation of personas here. 5 minute read.

Podcast on how our views about the Self affect our views on death.  By “Philosophy Bites”.  15 minutes.

Illustration by Lan Truong

Tom and Lin-Manuel: An Appreciation/Jealous Rant

Every writer has a golden period – a chunk of time when her brain is ripest, when the veins he is tapping are the richest, when the ideas, big and small, spill out over the sides of the bucket instead of having to be patiently collected like drops of rain off a leaf. This is true for songwriters, playwrights, novelists, screenwriters, anyone who writes anything in any genre. Go look at John Hughes’s IMDb page and marvel at his golden period, which I would bookend as 1983-1990. It’s outrageous. He wrote Vacation, Mr. Mom, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, and Home Alone in eight years. Eight years?! That’s absurd.

But then look at his next 20 years. You won’t find one movie that is better than the worst one he wrote in those seven years. The vein ran dry. It always does. That’s just the deal.

Tom Petty’s golden period never ended. Or, at least, the silver periods on either side of his golden period were seemingly infinite. No matter where you think he peaked – Full Moon Fever, or Wildflowers, or Damn the Torpedoes – the decades on either side were wonderful. He was great from the moment he released his first album in 1977 to the day he died last month. For forty years he wrote, and wrote, and wrote, and the songs he wrote were good or great or amazing.

Tom Petty wrote “Breakdown” and “American Girl” in 1977. He wrote “You Don’t Know How it Feels” seventeen years later, in 1994. He wrote “You Got Lucky” in 1982, “King’s Highway” in 1992, “The Last DJ” in 2002. He wrote “I Won’t Back Down,” “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” Free Fallin’,” “Love is a Long Road,” “A Face in the Crowd,” Yer So Bad,” and “The Apartment Song,” and “Depending on You,” all in 1989, and they were all on the same album, and that’s absurd.

He wrote “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” in 1981 and “Big Weekend” in 2006. He wrote every song on Wildflowers – and they are all great – in or around 1994. He wrote fifty other great songs I haven’t named yet, like “Don’t Come Around Here No More” and “Jammin Me.” He wrote great songs you’ve heard a million times, and great songs you’ve maybe never heard, like “Billy the Kid” (1999) and “Walls” (1996) which was buried on the soundtrack to She’s the One.  He took a break from the Heartbreakers and casually released “End of the Line” and “Handle With Care” and “She’s My Baby” with the Traveling Wilburys in 1989-90. He wrote “Refugee” in 1980 and “I Should Have Known It” in 2010. Is there any rock and roll songwriter alive who wrote two songs that good, 30 years apart? (Paul McCartney wrote “Hey Jude” in 1968, and only 12 years later he wrote “Wonderful Christmas Time,” which is so bad it nearly retroactively undid “Hey Jude.”)

He wrote about rock and roll things, like ’62 Cadillacs, getting out of this town, and dancing with Mary Jane. He wrote about love and loss and heartbreak. He wrote legitimately funny jokes, and moribund memories, and personal narratives, and imaginative flights of fancy. One of his characters calls his father his “old man” and it somehow isn’t cheesy. He was from Florida and California and wrote about both of them, and every time I’m on Ventura Boulevard I think of vampires, because the images he wrote are indelible. 

Petty didn’t just write songs directed at women, like most rock stars. He wrote about women, and he wrote for women, and he wrote with women. He treated the women in his songs as lovingly and respectfully as he treated the men. He cared about them as much, he spent as much time thinking about them, and he liked them as much, and all of that is rare.

He wrote simply, but not boringly. He made his characters three-dimensional, somehow, in a matter of seconds. There’s a famous (probably apocryphal) story about Hemingway bragging he could write an entire novel in six words, then writing: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” I prefer the 18-word novel Petty wrote as the first verse to “Down South” –

Headed back down south
Gonna see my daddy’s mistress
Gonna buy back her forgiveness
Pay off every witness

When I was working on Parks and Recreation, whenever we needed a song to score an important moment in Leslie Knope’s life, we chose a Tom Petty song. It started with “American Girl,” when her biggest career project came to fruition. It was “Wildflowers” when she said goodbye to her best friend. It was “End of the Line” at the moment the show ended. For the seven seasons of our show, Tom Petty was the writer we trusted to explain how our main character was feeling, because he wrote so much, so well, for so long.

*******

It seems like a joke, Hamilton – a joke in a TV show where one of the characters is a struggling New York actor, and is always dragging his friends to his terrible plays. Like Joey in Friends. There’s an episode of Friends where Joey is in a terrible musical called like Freud!, about Sigmund Freud, and you get to see some of it, and it’s predictably terrible. Freud! the musical is arguably a better idea than Hamilton the musical.

I’m far from the first person to say this – I’m probably somewhere around the millionth person to write about Hamilton, and the maybe 500,000th to make this particular point, but it needs to be said – a hip-hop Broadway musical about the founding fathers is an astoundingly terrible idea. Lin-Manuel Miranda should never have written it. As soon as he started to write it, he should’ve said to himself, “What the fuck am I doing?!” and stopped. And after he got halfway through, he should’ve junked it, gotten really drunk, and moved on with his life, and made his wife and friends swear to never mention the weird six months where he was trying to write a hip-hop musical about Alexander Hamilton. I literally guarantee you that when Lin-Manuel Miranda first told his friends what he was writing, every one of them reacted with at best a frozen smile, and at worst a horrified recoiling. Some of them might have been outwardly encouraging – “sounds awesome bud! Go get ‘em!” But then later, alone, they would call each other and say What the fuck is he doing?

There is a moment, in Hamilton, when what you are watching overwhelms you. (It’s not the same moment for everyone, but most everyone has one, I suspect.) It’s the moment when the enormity, the complexity, the meaning of it, the entirety of it, overpowers you, and you realize that what you are experiencing is new – new both in your specific life, and new, like, on Earth.  The first time I saw it, that moment was a line in the middle of “Yorktown.” Hamilton sang the line And so the American experiment begins / With my friends all scattered to the winds, and I burst into tears in a way I hadn’t since I was 10 and a baseball went through a guy’s legs in the World Series. Something about how casually he says that – And so the American experiment begins – just settled over me, like a collapsing tent, and this thing I was watching wasn’t in front of me, it was everywhere around me, and it was exhilarating and transformative.

(If I could put this part in a footnote, I would, but I don’t know how to, so: I should mention that I am very far from a musical theater aficionado. I have seen maybe eight musicals in my life. Not only did I not expect to cry, hard, during Hamilton, I did not expect to enjoy it. I saw it like a week after it opened on Broadway, kind of on a whim, knew nothing about it, and the last thing I said to my wife, as the lights went down, was: “We’ll leave at intermission.”)

The second time I saw it, that moment came much earlier (I knew what I was getting into, this time, so I was more ready to be subsumed). It came barely three minutes in, when the entire cast of the show, in a piece of choreography that can best be referred to as “badass,” all walk down to the very front of the stage and stand, shoulder to shoulder, and sing very loudly about how Alexander Hamilton never learned to take his time. The cast has, to this point, trickled on stage, slowly, one by one, telling you Hamilton’s origin story, and then suddenly there they all are, all of them – maybe 20? 50? It seems like 1000? – as close to the audience as they can get, and they are every size and ethnicity and gender, and their voices are loud, and I thought to myself, oh my God, this is a cast of people descended from every nation on Earth, all singing about the foundations of the American experience, and yes I “knew” that, intellectually, but holy shit, now that I see them all, I know it, like in my stomach, I understand it, and what a thing that is.

The third time I saw Hamilton, that moment was during “It’s Quiet Uptown,” when this enormous, sprawling, improbable, otherworldly, multi-ethnic, historical, art tornado presses pause on all of its historical-cultural-ethno-sociological-artistic investigations, and spends four and a half spare minutes with a couple who are grieving an unimaginable tragedy.  Specifically, it was the lines

Forgiveness
Can you imagine?
Forgiveness
Can you imagine?

What a thing to do, for your characters – to give them four and a half minutes in the middle of an enormous, sprawling, historical swirl, to just be sad. What a piece of writing that is.

(Again, should be a footnote, but: as long as I’m talking about writers here, I should point out that if the late Harris Wittels were alive, he would, at this moment, text me and hit me with a “humblebrag” for writing about how I have seen Hamilton three times, and he would be right. Miss you Harris!)

In the hundreds of hours of my life I have spent thinking about Hamilton since I first saw it – far more hours than any other single piece of art I have ever experienced – I have revisited that same thought over and over: he never should’ve written it. It was an absurd thing to do. It took him a year to write the title song, then another year to write the second song, and how did he not give up when two years had gone by and he’d written two songs?  He must’ve known in his heart it needed to be a 50-song, 2 ½-hour enterprise, and he had two songs after two years, and he kept going. How did he keep going? I’ve been trying to write this blog post about two writers I admire for different reasons since the week Tom Petty died, and I’ve almost given up five times.

At this point, the entire musical is that “moment” for me. It’s the whole thing, now – the thing that overwhelms me is the whole thing. The conception of it, the writing of it, the rewriting of it. The music and the motifs and the themes and the threads and the dramatic shape and the characters and their inner lives, and the eagle-eye writer’s view it took to keep all of that in his head, all of it, the whole time. The writing of it. The utterly impossible writing of it. 

Movies I learned sugar skills from

We all know Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry are some of the gems we have in movies now. But I’ve watched a lot of movies that helped me gain the sugar personas I had and I want to share some of those with you all.

Girlfriend experience

This is one of the more popular movies for sex workers and it is now a tv series. I personally liked it because I was ending a relationship while I was sugaring and I did feel some of the ways Christine felt.

Another thing I loved about this movie was the documentation and research this girl did on her clients. I use to have a notebook filled with all my POTs and SDs info, status, job info, likes and dislikes, turn ons, etc. My ex stole it a while ago but lucky for me I didn’t write down searchable info, even the names were in code.

I would recommend this as the first to watch before you binge watch sex work movies like I did.

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

Memoirs of a geisha

This is one of my personal favorites because I love the Asian culture when it comes to beauty. The grace, the discipline, and the routine of these woman is really what got me.

When I saw that one look method I was determined to get it to work for me. The Kama Sutra movie below also helped me achieve this. But nothing gets a man across the room faster than an enchanting look from a beautiful woman in their direction.

From this movie I was able to learn how to move more gracefully which is very attractive for men who like “exotic” women. So if you got hips sway them, if you have long legs be swift with your steps, and if your hand are flawless move them like a water bender on avatar (anime joke).

The Treacherous

This movie is very gory so if that’s not your thing don’t watch it. But it does show some intense training for courtesans (old world Asia times).

The seductiveness of these women turned me on so I knew the same methods would turn any man on too. My favorite seductive move is the removing of clothes shown in the beginning scenes where the man challenged the woman to a strip game.

Another scene that showed me a lot of gems was the actual training of the women and how they were to taught to please. I even got some old school hoe tips for my Vag in this movie.

Kama Sutra

Yes it is spelled right and yes it is about using Karma Sutra. If you want a movie example of how some Karma Sutra techniques work then look no further.

This movie showed me how equally important foreplay is for men as it is for us. It showed little snippets of how even feeding can be sensual for men. My favorite tip from the movie would have to be the eye movements of the women while they danced. Those eyes have gotten me compliments from many dance teachers because they could see sexiness in my eyes.

Just look at these eyes:

Originally posted by jillianroses

Etiquette of a mistress

In case you haven’t noticed by now I watch a lot of Asian movies. This one in particular is informative and funny so you’ll really enjoy watching it.

If you’re a sugar that deals with a lot of married men this movie is for you. It shows you how to be properly discrete with your time together and how to deal with the cons of a married man. The best part of this movie is it shows the perspective of a veteran and a newbie, so I know my vets will enjoy this if they or helping any newbies out there.

Wolf on wall street

This is of course on here because of the famous Naomi character that we love so much. Her sharp tongue is definitely needed when you are trying to pass through all the BS talk. But another thing to pay attention to is her physical presentation of herself. Her style with her looks was like devil in a red dress but with diamonds add.

Two can play that game

This one is mostly for my brown SBs who are close to their mid 20s.

In the 2000s this movie was like the black woman’s player guide. I’ve used many of these strategies to get men back on track to what I wanted. My little black dress is still in the closet waiting for the day my fiance acts up.

One thing from that movie I don’t do is flaunt another man because doing that in this world can severe ties real quick.

A lot of people focus on Shante in this movie but I also loved watching Conny too. Mainly because I love Gabrielle Union’s acting especially in Being Mary Jane.

Originally posted by spacecadet

Whoresglory

I didn’t learn much from this movie for my personal gain but I did learn a lot about sex work around the world. So if you’re just interested in a movie that shows you different kinds of sex workers watch this.

Breakfast at Tiffany

I love a good Audrey Hepburn movie because her white woman swag is just as awesome as Marilyn’s. She taught me how to be sweet and

youthful while also being mysterious and unavailable.

Being sweet and youthful is what kept my men feeling lucky to have me. But being mysterious and unavailable at times is what kept them on their toes and more willing do what was needed to “secure” me.

Originally posted by be-holder-com

Show Girls

I’m starting to think I should’ve tried stripping because sexy dancing is one of my favorite things to do. Expressing with my body is like art to me but I was probably right not to strip, I would get addicted.

This movie however made me more glamorous and aggressive when it came to my sexy looks. I never got a chance to see real show girls in Vegas but I’m pretty sure I would be in awe by them. I’ve never been a glamorous person but after this movie I started adding a little shimmer and glitter to my style.

Chicago

Again with the dancing lol, I’m sorry ladies but these women, even with out the dancing were phenomenal. The He Made Me Do It song was an all time favorite for me.

But as far as lessons I started to see how competitive women could be when it comes to money and credibility/fame.

I learned on movies like this how to out smart them when it comes to whales.There have been many new girls who tried taking my main SD away from me but they couldn’t get to my relationship quality. Even when girls did get some dates from other SDs of mine they didn’t last long. So please remember ladies quality and good relationships always wins when it comes to real SDs.

Josephine Baker Biography

My girl next door persona has always got me the most money. So when I saw this biography I started mastering it. Her happy demeanor and tiny voice was so close to mine it wasn’t hard to practice.

What made me the happiest, was that even though she was sweet, innocent, and goofy she was also sensual. She knew how to express her sexuality without taking away from her innocence.

The end of the movie was sad and showed a lot of her flaws but she was still iconic.

Originally posted by barbara-stanwyck

Confessions of a Brazilian Call Girl

I can’t remember if this is based on a true story are not but it’s amazing. Especially with the online social platforms we have now, this movie has been very useful. This woman on here became a high class call girl based on online status alone.

She was also another person I looked to for glam sexuality and showed many women that even average women can dominate the sex world. There were bad parts like her cockiness and drug use but if she would’ve stayed in her grind she would’ve still been raking in millions. One thing this movie can show you (on the bad side) is that you should never try to “Keep up with the Jones” even in the sex world because it’s never greener on the other side.

Call Me: The Rise and fall of Hiede Fliess

If you don’t know Hiede Fliess, look her up now. She’s the greatest when it comes to call girls. The tactics she used to get where she was is amazing. She really knew how to keep connections with her clients and how to get other girls money.

I don’t know what she does now but I do respect the contributions she’s made to the sex work industry. If you’re in LA or Hollywood you should really watch this movie.

Some notable tv women I watch

Joseline Hernandez

She’s so unapologetic about who she is and will get money by any means necessary. Her and Cardi B are like alter egos I wish I had sometimes.

Originally posted by joselinehernandezgifs

Cardi B

She is one of the realest woman I’ve seen on TV and she used what she had to get her fame. Now that she got it she is doing here to the max and I’m happy for her.

Nene Lakes

I can see myself being like Nene when I get older and wealthier. She is a star in many forms and doesn’t let these women or her man interfere with her money. She went from housewife to breadwinner even outside of the show.

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

Whitley Gilbert

I get all my bougie ways from Ms. Whitley lol. Really she was a good representation of a high class but down to earth black woman for me. She started out a little too much for me but after some seasons she grew on me. I’m always a sucker for tiny voiced women because mines is tiny too (Not as annoying as hers).

Tasha Patrick

Now I’m going to be honest I just started watching power but I love this women’s attitude. She’s sexy, ride or die, and also strategically vengeful. I might update this after I finish the show but for now that’s all I have to say.

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

Phaedra Parks

This woman beats me in being bougie and extra. I’ve never seen anyone who goes all out like she does. When I was in college I always wanted to be a like southern belle with curves so when this show came on I was tuned in. If you ever wanted to see an example of a curvy southern belle that can still get a little ghetto, Here she is.



This list is just a few of the many women I’ve watched to perfect my personas.

Now, when I switch my persona it’s not to completely change who I am but helps me adapt to different environments.


For example: If my SD likes to watch football games from his box then I’m not going to go into my prim and proper mode, I’m going to bring out girl next door me.


Depending on what your daddy likes you’re going to be put in different types of atmosphere and if you’re black than your going to need to adapt. The way to more opportunities is by building your credibility which is usually based on how much people like you. You re like an undercover celebrity lol.

Now if you don’t want to change that’s fine but that’s what’s work for me.

I change up like a Johnny Depp Movie role

Originally posted by yourlifeisinsanity

Hope this all was helpful to you ladies.

Much Love T

“He was lost, Cas. Our last hunt, he almost didn’t make it back and said he saw Billie.”

“He saw Billie?” Castiel parroted. They were both still in the war room in the bunker, the aftermath of recent events still fresh and new in their minds as Sam recounted what happened while Castiel had been “away.” 

“Yeah, and it wasn’t great.” Sam bit his lip. “Cas, When Mom disappeared…when you died. I think it broke him to a point where he couldn’t come back from it and deal with his grief. More than one night he’s had nightmares where I’d have to get him out and it’s always your name that’d he’d scream.”

“Grief is a complex emotion that is difficult to understand. The both of you have suffered with it greatly, but I have passed before.” Castiel paused, cognizant the statement should make no sense to anyone else except for the three of them. “He had been in grief then but had managed to find a way out. What made this time different?”

“I saw your wings, Cas.” A voice interrupted them from the threshold of the war room.

It clicked in Castiel’s head then. Understandable. "Dean.”

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Missing Link

Missing Link (m)

Word count: 6.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, talk of masterbation and language

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?


“Yoongi~”

“Yes, Y/N?” Yoongi said as he watched tv, happy to be home after a long day with you. 


“Will you please go with me tonight? I don’t want to go by myself.”

Yoongi sighed on the couch next to you. “Y/N, i’m too old to be going to these college parties.”

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Office-mate who loves CNN but doesn't understand how televisions work is destroyed by that which she loves most.

I work in a small office with only 6 people. The way the office is broken up I share my office with another person, so we’re essentially facing each other. It’s away from the other offices, so we’re kind of left to our own devices. I’ve been working here for about three years now, and have always gotten along with my office-mate. My old office-mate left to start a family, so I’ve been alone for a bit before they hired Marge.

Marge is what you’d find if you googled “worst office-mate.” She brings in smelly food she eats at her desk, she plays loud music in our shared space (even after being asked not to), she fights with the boss on every little thing, she’s nosy (always asking me where I’ve been when I walk back into the office, and I’ve literally caught her listening in at the bosses door). She asks me invasive questions, and when I finally snapped at her to mind her own business she acted like I’d personally assaulted her.

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No Kissing In Front Of Me *Steve Harrington x Reader*

Originally posted by wlntrfell

Requested by Anon: Steve Harrington x Reader where you’re Dustin’s older sister and Dustin has Steve over to babysit him bc Reader is supposed to be out on a date but she comes home like halfway through with like super ready eyes and tells them she found out he’s cheating on her because he stood her up to go with the other girl or something
Pairings: Dustin Henderson x Sibling! Reader & Billy Hargrove x Reader (Mentioned briefly) & Steve Harrington x Reader
Word Count: 
A/N: I couldn’t be bothered to make up a name for the reader to possibly be on a date with. Billy is someone that comes across as a cheating, maybe not taking the relationship with reader seriously, type. - Rosalie



“Why are you even going out with that jackass?” Dustin asked, watching you through the vanity mirror reflection as you got ready for your date. You muttered a soft ‘language’ to your little brother who just scoffed. “You can date anyone, literally, ANYBODY! But you go out, willingly, with Billy Hargrove?”

You sighed gently as you finished with your make up. You had been going out on a few dates with the new guy, well he wasn’t new anymore, he and his sister had been here for a few months. You didn’t really get why Dustin and his party hated him, he was kind of an asshole but so was everyone else in this town. Dustin always said, ‘There are just things that I know that you don’t, I don’t trust him’. You liked he was looking out for you but you’re the older sibling, it should be the other way round.

“Why do you hate him so much? Enough with the bullshit, what happened to make you hate him?” Dustin shrugged, shoulders slumped and eyes cast to his hands as he toyed with your comforter on your bed. “I’m going on that date, Dustin. Whatever you think of him isn’t true, he’s been nothin’ but nice to me. He doesn’t pressure me for anythin’ and he’s really sweet too. Tell me what happened and I won’t go on that date, if you tell me what happened with Billy I’ll call him off.”

Before Dustin can even open his mouth the doorbell chimes, you raise your eyebrows but Dustin sighs. You both stand up, you’re dressed in a pale pink dress with a denim jacket thrown on. Dustin opens the door, revealing Steve Harrington, his babysitter for the night, plus a new founded best friend. It was cute, how both he and Steve had a brotherly bond. They looked out for one another, it made you smile to see Dustin finally have someone to look up to, admire and Steve was someone that you trusted to lead your brother in a good direction.

You smiled as Steve looked at you. “Wow, Y/N, you look… wow.” He compliments, at loss for words and it brings a slight blush upon your cheeks as you roll your eyes at him.

“Okay, I’ll see you both in a few hours. Don’t miss me too much,” You grin waving bye at both of them and walking out of the door.

*Steve’s P.O.V kinda*

Steve stared at the door as it closed softly, watching you leave to go on a date with Billy Hargrove always rubbed him the wrong way. Knowing that someone as kind, sweet and genuinely good was hanging around with the asshole Billy, made Steve feel sick to his stomach. His blood boiled at the thought of it, it left a funny after taste in Steve’s mouth whenever you talked about your dates with Billy.

“Steve!” Dustin’s voice pulled Steve from his mind and he looked at the shithead and shrugged his shoulders in response. “Jealousy back again?”

Steve rolled his eyes and sat down, Dustin had got into his pea-sized brain that Steve was jealous. Jealous that Billy got to date you and not him, which was ridiculous. Steve Harrington doesn’t get jealous, he doesn’t even know why he’d be jealous. It’s just you. Dustin’s older sister. Who was sweet, kind and beautiful, who had this thing where if she laughs too hard she hiccups?

“I’m not jealous of Billy Hargrove,” Steve states, turning the TV on and looking at the VHS movies that Dustin had picked to watch tonight. “What do I have to be jealous about?”

Dustin rolled his eyes, sitting down also. “Are you pretending to be dumb or are you actually this stupid all of the time?” That receives a stern glare from Harrington, “I know she’s my sister but I am told constantly that she’s beautiful, plus she has to be somewhat good looking because ” Dustin gestures to his smiling face and Steve tries not to chuckle at that. “It’s okay if you like-like her, better you than Billy.”

Steve puts in the movie and that leaves him to think over what Dustin has said. He glances at Dustin who is consumed by the movie, mouth slightly agape as he fully zoned in on the SyFy movie. Steve had grown accustomed to life with the kids, looking after the little shits was now just second nature to him. You were sort of a package deal, you didn’t know about any of the events with the upside down world but you managed to still be part of their lives. You were sort of an innocence that everyone loved, you knew something has happened but you preferred to not know.

It’s for the better that way. Steve liked that you weren’t carrying any of the weight, that you managed to still be a supportive person but in a way that was different for everyone. It was hard to keep that life away from you, it’s partly why he hates you are dating Billy. If you knew what had happened, you wouldn’t be dating him but he had made a promise. To the boys, to Eleven, to Hopper and Joyce to not tell.

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I dated Y/N?” Steve asked, eyes trained on the TV. “I know she’s dating Billy but if that didn’t work out-”

“Steve, you have my permission to date my sister. No kissing in front of me, that’s all I ask.” Steve smiles slightly and both go back to watching the movie, halfway in when the front door crashes open. “Son-of-a-bitch!” Dustin yells, turning his head to see his sister standing in the doorway, he holds his hand over his heart.

It takes both boys a few seconds to realise you’re crying. Eyes red, small sobs escaping your lips and you throw your purse to the floor and pull off your shoes, running past them towards your room ignoring their yells of your name. Steve looks at Dustin who is just as shocked as he is by your outburst.

“You don’t think Billy…” Dustin trails off, instantly Steve is to his feet and Dustin follows him down the short hall to your door where Steve knocks on the door. “Y/N, we’re coming in!” Dustin yells, knowing you never lock your door anyway.

Steve opens the door silently and both peak in. Your laying on your bed, hair a mess of curls and crying into a pillow. Dustin walks passed Steve, sitting down beside your head and petting your hair softly, trying to comfort you silently. Steve awkwardly sits down, placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbing comforting circles. They wait till your sobs had quieted down, listening to cry was one of the worst things Steve has endured. Yeah, he’s had to fight demogorgons but this was another level.

“Y/N, what happened?” Steve asked and you lifted your head, hair sticking your tear stained cheeks that are red and blotchy. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, anger swept through them but also sadness. “Did Billy… do something… like-”

“No.” You shake your head, fresh tears welling in your eyes. “He turned up with another girl, with Stacy. He’s been seeing her behind my back, cause I wasn’t putting out.” Dustin’s face flashed with anger. “I’m such a stupid shit head!” You groaned, accepting the hug from your little brother and Steve scoffed, causing both Henderson siblings to look at him.

Steve shakes his head. “Billy is the shithead. You deserve better than him, got it? A guy like that isn’t worth your tears, you’re too good for him. If he can’t keep it in his pants that’s his fault, not yours.” You raised your eyebrows at Steve, who crossed his arms and glared at the wall opposite him. “I should punch him in the face again for doing that to you.”

“Again?” You asked slightly amused that he had even punched Billy for the first time. Dustin looks wide-eyed at Steve who does the same, you sighed. “Need to know, right?” They nod and smiled slightly. “Thank you, both of you for being here. I think I’m going to call it a night.” They nod, Dustin gets up and leaves the room first but Steve hesitates, making you look at him slightly confused.

He shuffles slightly nervously. “Y/N… have a good sleep.” Steve sighs before leaving your room, kicking himself for not saying anything to you about his true feelings.

*

It had been almost a week since that godawful date with Billy. You tried to keep yourself occupied, extra schoolwork and hanging out with Nancy. The humiliation of that day was what hurt you the most, Billy had let you believe the date was still on, he didn’t cancel or say anything about what was happening with Stacy. He let you walk in, alone and see him with another girl like he planned it or something.

Walking down the street towards your house you hear arguing. Well, more of bickering between two people. You glance up to see Steve and Dustin in the driveway of your home, Dustin was meant to be at Mike’s studying and Steve, well he was meant to be off being Steve somewhere else- having a day off from being the kid’s mom. You frown as you walk closer, Steve is holding roses and Dustin has his radio headset on, seemingly talking over it whilst simultaneously walking to Steve.

“What’s going on?” You asked walking closer, Dustin jumps slightly and turns to you with a nervous smile. “I thought you were going to Mike’s tonight?” You asked with a slight frown at his reaction.

It’s a solid minute before anyone speaks up. “I’m helping Steve… he’s got a date.” You nod slowly and glance at Steve, who is nervously stood holding the roses and smiling awkwardly. A pang of something shoots through your chest, whoever he was taking on a date was a lucky girl.

“Oh.” Is all you can manage, “Well, have fun and don’t take all of my brother’s advice.” You try to chuckle and smile but it sounds forced, you go to walk around them and inside the house, to cry to your mother but you’re stopped by someone tugging on your wrist.

You frown up at Steve. “Y/N, I need to tell you something.” You nod and turn back towards Steve, waiting for whatever he needs to say, he stares at you for a moment. “Fuck it!”

Before you can process what is happening his lips are on yours, his hands holding your shoulders and the roses fall to the floor beside your feet. You instantly respond, melting into the kiss that’s unlike anything you’ve ever had. You feel Steve smile against your lips, wrapping his arms around your waist as yours rest against his neck.

“GROSS!” You pull apart and look at Dustin, who is horrified. “I said no kissing in front of me, that was the only rule. You asshole.” he picks up his bike, muttering curse words and names at Steve, “one fucking rule, can even follow that. I do everything to help this guy, this is how he repays me.”

Steve purses his lips and holds back the chuckle. “Thank you, shithead,” Steve calls, Dustin turns and flips him off before riding off down the street to Mikes. “It was worth breaking that one rule.” Steve shrugged at you, you chuckled lightly nudging him, he bends down and picks up the roses again. “Prepare to go on the best date of your life.” He challenges, pulling you by your hand towards his car.

“Is this the first time you’ve hung out with someone your own age in a while?” You smirk as Steve blinks at you, mock offence. “How will they survive without you?”

Steve rolled his eyes, opening your door before walking around to his side and starting the engine to the car. It’s silent as he begins to drive off towards your date destination, “I do need to stop in to make sure they all get home okay.” He mutters causing you to chuckle at him, he sighs and chuckles along with you.

(Decided to end it funny. Hopefully, whoever requested this likes it. I had fun writing it, I like the whole Dustin’s sister thing, I like writing the reader as one of the kids sibling. - Rosalie)

trekbedtimestories  asked:

The cabal needs details about Chris. PLEASE. (also you are our new best friend)

Before you read further, you should know that I (naively) had no idea anyone would even see that tweet. I would never reveal details about the stories ANYONE wrote in that class because I would be mortified if someone shared details about the ones I was writing in 2002. That said, I can give you some context for the tweet and describe what I remember of him in the classroom.

Berkeley has a program called DECAL where students can create and teach courses on any topic they want, provided they can get it approved by a faculty sponsor. I took a DECAL called Erotic as Power my first semester there. It was basically a literary erotica creative writing class. We met twice a week, did assigned readings out of a course reader filled with erotic stories and comics and did weekly writing assignments on a variety of topics like “fantasy” and “transgression.” Each class, a couple people would share their work out loud and then we would workshop the stories. At the end of that first semester I was asked to student-teach the course in the spring and Chris Pine was in my class.

This was 15 years ago so there is a limit to what I can remember. I do remember there were about a dozen of us in the class and it was a workshop setting, so we had our desks in a big circle. He had not yet appeared in any tv shows or films and was a regular college student at the time but he fucking EXUDED confidence. That part stuck with me - when I saw on some blog years later that he had been cast as Captain Kirk in a reboot of Star Trek, I was like well that makes sense.

He would sort of slouch down in his chair the way cool guys often do and he almost always had a smirk on his face. He was as good at reading his stories out loud as you are imagining. He was smart and had good things to contribute to discussion. He performed his final project as a monologue.

Fun fact: my now-husband was a co-facilitator for the course! We were not yet dating that semester, but, years later, we saw The Princess Diaries II and were like “wait… is that Chris Pine?”

And it was. And we gave him notes his erotica. And life is really, really weird.

【Japan Official Fanclub Magazine Vol.2】BTS My Biography – Suga’s part

From a mischievous child to a young boy that loves to read

Born in Daegu, South Korea’s 3rd biggest city, which is located in the south. I lived there until I came to Seoul. I was just an ordinary child, I always liked to mess around. So, the teacher in nursery didn’t really like me (laughs). I remember that I always got told off “it’s dangerous!” I liked sports and I was especially good at running. From primary school to high school, I often got chosen to participate in the relay race. And I was above average in studying.

When I was a child, I really liked to go out to play with my friends. But as I grew up, I wasn’t that fond of going out to play. Even when I went out to play, we just met in the park, there were nothing to do though. I didn’t like that, so I usually stayed at home along on the weekends. My mother said: “you should go out to see your friends sometimes.” (laughs)

I liked to collect, so I collected a lot of books when I was a child. Because at the time, I wanted to be cultivated, I wanted to pretend that I’m civilized. So, I read many grown up novels, poetry anthology, literary works and news articles which didn’t suit me… I read all genres of books. I don’t know why but from middle school onwards, I started to have the habit of reading from the back page. Now, I would read books sometimes. My reading speed is quick because I read chunks of writings.

First love in primary school… I honestly don’t have any memories about that. Unlike Seoul, the place I live in is quite conservative. Especially in my school, it’s rare to see boys talking to girls. Even being next to a girl made me shy, I didn’t even say a thing.

Encountered Hip-Hop
Started to compose music in middle school

I became interested in music when I was in 5th grade of middle school, I saw the Korean artist Stony Skunk’s performance on TV. At the time, the genre Ballad was in its prime. If 18 teams were on a music show, 10 would be ballad groups, 5 would be idol groups and the remaining 3 would be other genres, Stony Skunk was one of the 3. Stony Skunk was really cool, their style is so different from the other groups. I’ve never been interested in music before that, but under the influence of Stony Skunk, I started to listen to Hip-Hop and Reggae music. I was also influenced by Epik High. MP3 players were getting popular at the time but I bought a Panasonic CD player and listened to music with that.

That’s how I started to listen to music, and at the same time I started to write song as well. No one told me to do it, but I just felt like I should write something. I started to write rap lyrics in primary school and started to compose music in middle school. At the time, no one around me liked Hip-Hop. Although Hip-Hop is getting popular again in Korea but when I encountered Hip-Hop, it was a genre that was popular from a long time ago. You probably couldn’t find anyone who raps on the street, apart from me. My friends complained when I sang rap songs in the karaoke room. You know there’re those special hand gestures in Hip-Hop, I got laughed at because I did those gestures.

Despite all of that, I continued to like Hip-Hop. I got to perform on the stage for the first time in 2nd of middle school. I performed Dynamic Duo’s ‘Go Back’ with my friends. I don’t like standing in front of many people but I just felt like I had to do it. I wanted to show off the rap that I’ve been practicing, although I wasn’t that great (laughs). Actually, I wanted to attend an arts high school, so I even produced classical music. But arts high school is too expensive so I attended an ordinary high school. I said to my father, “I’ve made enough music, I’ll study properly when I’m in high school.” But I never kept my promise (laughs).

Joined an underground crew in hometown, started to work as an underground rapper

I produced music in middle school for self-satisfaction, and I made songs in a hobby level. But after I changed the MIDI equipment, I started to make music properly. When I was in 1st grade of high school, I made a person to listen to my song, he was a teacher to me and he really liked it. Then he introduced me to a Hip-Hop crew called ’D-Town’ and I joined in. That song had a New Age music feeling to it but the Hip-Hop beats were like Nujabes. For your information, the teacher that acknowledged me studied in Berklee College of Music and now he’s a music director for movies. After I joined the crew, I started to learn rap properly. Although I’ve been rapping since primary school but since no one around me raps, so I always thought I was the best (laughs).

This is how I started my underground activities in Daegu. It also made me realize that working in the underground scene is difficult to make a living. The hyungs that I worked with was 10 years older than me, there were even people over 30 years old. They had to work part-time along with making music, it looked so tiring. I really hated the fact that it was difficult to gather 100 audience when we try to hold a live performance. I thought “if I succeed, can I be the bridge between mainstream music and underground music?” There are many people that makes great music in the underground scene, so I thought when I become famous, I’ll give them a better environment to work in and I want to let the world hear my hyungs’ music.

And at the same time, I heard that BigHit Entertainment was holding an audition in Daegu. I only knew that producer Bang Shi Hyuk established the company but I still auditioned. The next day, I got the notice that I passed the audition. Later, someone told me that when he saw me, he immediately gave me a pass. Even though my rapping wasn’t really good at the time (laughs).

Came to Seoul, became a trainee
Ran counter to his (original) intention?!

I can still clearly remember the day that I came to Seoul, 7th November 2010, when I was in 2nd grade of high school. When I joined the company, my original intention wasn’t to become a rapper, I wanted to become a producer. So, I thought I didn’t need to dance, and I can leave rapping to those that are good at it. I thought I only need to be a producer. But that wasn’t the case (laughs). At the time, the company wanted to debut a group consists of rappers, rather than an idol group. However, the plan changed at the end. The members at the time were Rap Monster, J-Hope and I. Including Supreme Boi, i11evn hyung who’s currently working in the underground scene, and IRON hyung, who was one of the finalists in ‘Show Me The Money 3’. I think if we debuted like that, our rapping would be outstanding but we would probably have failed (laughs).

Rapper & Producer
Suga’s future goals

I’m able to walk on the path of music, it’s because of my brother, who’s 4 years older than me. Under my influence, my brother started to like Hip-Hop too. No one supported me in my family when I went to audition, except for my brother. They don’t approve of making music. My relatives even said to me: “what can you achieve from making music, just study properly.” So, I could only share my songs with my brother, he was my only listener. And I told my brother first when I passed the audition. We have a good relationship just like friends. I don’t usually drink but I drink a bit with my brother. Of course, my family support me now. The relatives that advised me to study even came to ask for my autograph (laughs).

I’ve been thinking lately that I want to be active as a producer. I’m not ambitious about being in the center, I just want to make music. I’m not interested in the entertainment industry, others want to either act or be on variety shows, but I don’t (laughs). Above all, I think the most important for BTS right now is to achieve #1 in Korea and Japan. And, I want to become the best rapper, the best producer. I don’t know how long it will take to achieve that but I’m going to give it a go.

BTS Biography - Jimin (Vol.5)
BTS Biography - V (Vol.3)

Trans: KIMMYYANG (from Korean mondomizel1)

anonymous asked:

okay all this matt and pidge reuniting is cute but when will we get real sibling content like matt just coming in and,,, sitting on pidge of them just having a screaming competition with each other and fighting over the dumbest things

matt, lounging on pidge’s bed as she does her homework beside him: hey if you were part of the circus, what would you be?
pidge, considering it: oh man, that’s hard…. probably something like a lion tamer? or a juggler or something… OR! FUCK, maybe even the ringmaster! that’d be really cool. what about you?
matt, sighing happily: i’d be a tent :)

-

when they were kids colleen would make them stand next to some elevated part of the wall and do that thing where she measures their height and draws a line to mark it

  • little matt (scowling at pidge’s line dangerously coming close to his): don’t you fucking dare

-

pidge: (quietly finishes one problem in her assignment)
matt: YES! YESSSSSSSSS! FUCK! 👏 IT! 👏 UP! 👏 EINSTEIN!! show that homework who’s a bad bitch!…  leave that notebook paper’s ass QUAKING,

-

whenever sam and colleen get them a chocolate bar each for dessert pidge always eats hers extra slow until matt finishes his just so she can prove a point and say “no” when matt asks if he can have some of hers

-

pidge: you’re the older one! you’re SUPPOSED to be more responsible!
matt: well excuse me it’s not MY fault mom decided to shoot my irresponsible ass out of her vagina first!

-   

they frequently do the bathroom bullshit

  • you know, the bathroom bullshit
  • matt: watching TV and clearly not planning to move for the next two hours
  • pidge: heading towards the bathroom with a towel over her shoulder
  • matt, immediately on his feet: oh my god you insensitive bitch i was LITERALLY about to take a shower-

-

pidge, groggily walking to the dining room: good morning
matt, equally as groggy: mornin’
sam holt: it’s 1 pm

-

pidge: you just ate my last pack of oreos! i even put them on the dining table so everyone knows i’m not done with it!
matt: i thought you didn’t want them anymore! who even leaves food on the table as a sign that they’re still gonna eat them later???
pidge: ME? AS EXPLICITLY STATED IN MY LAST SENTENCE?

-

(at matt’s garrison send-off, seeing iverson scolding a student)
pidge: asshole
matt, at the same time: butthole
pidge and matt, looking at each other: :O :D

-

sometimes matt would randomly burst into pidge’s room and tackle her to the bed as a way of saying hi

  • 9/10 times that he does that bae bae follows along and stays on top of matt
  • and they’d all just. stay silently on top of each other like that for an indeterminate amount of time

-

matt: college kids are so fucking weird
pidge: you’re a college kid
matt: SHIT FUCK-

-

and in honor of halloween just finishing:

matt: i’m going to carve a dick on this pumpkin
pidge: matt that’s gonna be put on the front yard where everyone can see-
matt: maybe i’ll carve TWO dicks

pidge: it doesn’t feel very halloween-y today…. where’s the spooky gross shit
matt: (walks in)
pidge: finally

Operation Henderson and Harrington Pt. 1 ~ Mini-Series

Summary: The kids take it upon themselves to test their matchmaking skills. With a little help, they form a plot to get you and Steve together by Halloween.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x (Henderson!You) Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Language! Mostly from Dustin.

A/N: It is almost 1 am over here but I had to post this and get it out of my system. This is going to be a mini-series! Part one is posted below and I will update over the next few days :) Give me some feedback! xoxo

Part One ~ Part Two ~ Part Three (Coming Soon)


There would never be a normal Halloween in Hawkins, Indiana. The kids would always be doing something whether it be fighting off some monsters, or saving their best friend, or getting their two favorite teens to finally date.

“We can’t tell them that we came up with this,” Dustin insisted as he looked at the group.

He sat around a table with Mike, El, Will, Lucas and Max. The group was gathered in Mike’s basement as they tried to come up with a foolproof plan on getting you, Y/N Henderson, and Steve Harrington to finally date. Halloween was coming up and that was the deadline.

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Suga Daddy: Part 11

Suga Daddy: Part 11 (m)

Word count: 8.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, language, dom!Yoongi, choking and dirty talk

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi comes with you to Jungkook’s graduation.

I think there might be just a few chapters left. 

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

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is Tom Holland a boobs or butt type of guy...

  • i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again
  • he don’t discriminate, he love the tiddy and the booty imo
  • i mean i think he’s the type of guy who goes “why not have both” 
  • ya know what i mean
  • hear me out okay
  • so
  • as much as Tom loves having you in him arms, snuggled to his chest he’s always a sucker for lying his head on your chest because boobs make some great pillows 
  • but what if you’re lying on your stomach 
  • OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT THE BUM 
  • he’s perfectly happy to just lie his head down on your bum and take a nap right there
    • “tom that’s my butt not a pillow,”
    • “what’s your point,” before drooling all over it 
  • best nap he’s taken let me tell you 
  • of course there’s also the mornings where you’ll wake up with bruises littering the tops of your bust
  • tom smirking as he admires them 
    • “i just can’t help myself, they’re perfect,” and 
    • “they’re out little secret,” as he places small kisses over the bruises
  • but don’t get me wrong, he’ll playfully bite your bum if he’s lying on it making you squeal 
    • “sorry babe,” sheepishly as he blushes a little realising what he just did
    • but you kinda love it 
  • he’d make grabby hands at you when you leave the bed to get ready in the morning
  • and your give in, walking over to him expecting him to pull you back in bed
  • but that cheeky fucker just gropes your breasts
  • with zero shame 
    • “squishysquishysquishy,” as you burst out laughing 
  • he’s the type of guy to give your bum a tap when you’re in line and the line moves
  • or he’ll just use your bum as a makeshift drum, tapping random rhythms while he watches TV and you read
  • whenever his arm is wrapped around your waist his hands always migrate towards the booty
    • “you’ve wandered a little low there, Holland,”
    • “I know,” with the cheekiest smirk ever
  •  he’s definitely stuck his head in between your boobs on multiple occasions
    • like if he’s tired 
    • or needy 
    • or horny 
    • or just bored  
  •  honestly he just wants to love each and every part of you 
  • because he believes everything about you is perfect 
  • and he tries to prove it everyday 
  • and he does a great job at it
  • (’:
Things to keep in mind WRT: Joey WLW subtext and her conversation with Xefros

The year is 1994 in Joey’s universe.

In 1994, LGBT issues were almost universally kept completely hushhush from kids. For example, “Ellen” was taken off TV and cancelled after Ellen DeGeneres came out, in 1998.

Even in the 2000′s, while great strides were made in open conversation about LGBT issues, I remember it was still VERY taboo to even acknowledge as existing. I was in high school through 2006-2010 and people would still whisper the word “gay” under their breath.

In the 90′s, the internet wasn’t really a thing. You had online bulletin boards that would take 2 hours to get onto and often forbade any talks of politics, sexuality, or the like. The only place you could find information on LGBT topics was the library, in old encyclopedias possibly from the 70′s classifying homosexuality as a mental disease, IF (and big IF) you could find anything at all. 

This persisted even into the early 2000′s. It improved somewhat during what I call the Forum Renaissance wherein everyone had their own more or less functioning web forum and were free to write whatever they wanted in whatever context they liked without having to cowtow to a company’s rules, but that didn’t start until around 2003 on.

Now back to Joey. 1994. Joey seems to live in a small town, with very little of a social ring (just her brother’s friends, apparently), and therefore very limited access to information.

Joey is 14 years old, clearly having trouble at school from her diary entries, and clearly very, very lonely. Joey, like many young WLW, particularly young lesbians (although not limited to just lesbians, of course), doesn’t seem to realize that being attracted to women is even an option.

This is a concept that resonates completely with me, in fact. I didn’t realize I didn’t have to force myself to like boys until I MET someone who was in a relationship with someone of the same gender. However EVEN THEN I still tried, because I was 13, and struggling, and wanted to be liked, and very very very afraid of how people would see me because I was already being bullied and just added fuel to the fire.

Joey’s questioning of Xefros actually echoes a conversation I, in fact, had once. Her quiet contemplation right afterwards is really telling.

Joey hadn’t realized, until this moment, that being in a relationship with someone of the same gender was an option. Joey’s life has been one of sheltered heteronormativity.

She accepted it very quickly. Now she can blossom. Maybe she’ll have a Thing with Xefros. Who knows? I sure don’t. Perhaps Joey is bi. Perhaps Xefros and she will become moirails. WHO KNOWS.

All I know is, her being a WLW is not subtext. At this point, it’s blatantly Text. I do believe Joey is a great realistic WLW character as well, and one that young struggling WLW might be able to relate to if they’re going through the same things as she is.

I know I related to her a lot. She reminds me of me at that age.

This is not Hiveswap’s team being homophobic or what-the-fuck-ever, and it certainly isn’t ‘qu**rbaiting’. It’s literally being realistic for the era, and I have full faith that they WILL address these issues people have over the course of the continuing story. A young LGBT character is allowed to question themselves and society on their own time. That’s part of what makes Joey so realistic.

Some ideas for productive breaks and smart multitasking

You shouldn’t feel pressured to work all the time. By all mean take breaks, and do whatever you want during your breaks. Those are just some activities that I enjoy doing when I’m not working on my uni work. I thought that I would share them with you because they have worked wonders for me. Just pick what you like and try it out!


  • Watch TV shows and movies in their original language. It still feels like a break: you can get all curled up in bed and get some snacks, but you’re still practicing a foreign language. It can be anything you want, even Youtube videos or reality shows. For English learners, ororo.tv is the best website ever.


  • Find an online class (mooc) about a subject that interests you. It can be anything, whether it’s school related or not. It will come so handy. For instance, if you’re passionate about photography, complete an online course about it. First of all, it should be a lot of fun. But also, one day, during an interview, someone is going to ask you what your personal interests are. “I like photography like thousands of people out there” is a bit less im-pressive than “I like photography. I even completed an online class from a foreign university this year during my free time. Indeed, I love to set myself challenges”. Coursera is my personal favourite.


  • Sit with your friends, grab coffee, and talk about subjects that you are passionate about. Ask your friends to tell you more about that subject that they love and know a lot about, ask them questions, examples and so on. Truth is, we tend to feel annoying when talking for hours about something that we love, but we’re not. I guarantee that you’re going to discover so much about your friends’ interests and that you’ll love it. And you’re actually learning a lot at the same time. My boyfriend is really interested in new technologies, and I always ask him to tell me the latest news about it. Well last time it allowed me to take part in a conversation at work about something that he told me about, and people were actually surprised that I knew so much about it.

  • Download podcasts and audio books for your trips. I know I can never be bothered to read a book in the subway and I always end up on my phone so I might as well listen to something interesting.


  • Do more things that don’t involve a screen : go out for a walk and discover a new neighbourhood, draw and improve your skills, cook and learn a new recipe, grab a newspaper and check on what’s happening in the world, remember that learning can be fun and that it’s not only going to school.
200 Reasons To Love Jikook

1) When Jimin made Jungkook comfortable on the couch by bringing him a pillow and a blanket. He tucked him in and they fell asleep together in the living room. (BV s1).

2) When Jimin said that Jungkook is the member he would like to travel with because he would protect him from others. (Fanaccount).

3) Jimin using every cute variation of Jungkook’s name in his tags - kook, kookoo, kookie.

4) Jimin using the paw emoji after Jungkook’s name, the same emoji he used in his calico cat tweet. (JM’s twt).

5) Jimin serenading Jungkook with his part in Boy In Luv, “can’t get you out of my head.”

6) When Jungkook pinched Jimin’s nipple when Jimin leaned in for a hug and also the time Jungkook pinched Jimin’s neck to get him to move over. (Fancafe content & Bangtan Bomb).(Extra)

7) When Jungkook lifted Jimin bridal style to clear the limbo game and their faces were this close.

8) When Jimin had a nip slip in the middle of a performance and Jungkook was the only one who noticed and asked him to cover up.

9) When Jungkook literally moaned ‘I want you’ to Jimin who was in the middle of a photoshoot times three. (Now 3)

10) When Jungkook scolded Namjoon off cam, “How can you call a person dirty?” after Joonie said that they can’t touch the trophy as Jimin had kissed it. (Bangtan Bomb)

11) When Jimin groped Jungkook during DNA rehearsal. (Fancam).

12) When Jimin repeatedly hit Jungkook with a rubber toy to get a reaction out of him while Jungkook was talking to a fan, only for Jungkook to snatch it out of his hand to hit him back. (Fancams).

13) When Jimin dressed up as a Bok Choy (Napa Cabbage) so that Jungkook (The bunny) could eat him. (His words not mine). (21st Century Girl Halloween vers.)

14) When Jimin said that his favourite solo after ‘Lie’ is ‘Begin’ (JK’s solo). (Fansign)

15) When Jimin asked Jungkook to ‘accept his love’, twice on Jungkook’s birthday. (Danger Chuseok Spl.).

16) When Jungkook went up to Jimin to ask what his plans for Valentine’s day were. (Bangtan Bomb).

17) When Jungkook got distracted by Jimin’s hip thrusts and turned the wrong way during I Like It Pt. 2 Choreo. (Fancam)

18) When Jungkook laid his head on Jimin’s thigh during Ma City even though Jin tried to make him get up. (Fancam).

19) The times Jungkook used Jimin’s arm as his pillow. (Prologue Bts & BV s2)

20) When Jungkook filmed Jimin’s dance even though his arms hurt from holding the camera for too long. (Bangtan Bomb).

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Gamer(Jungkook AMBW Smut)

I don’t know why I keep doing this to her, but I also needed to get out my frustrations with a man who just has been trying to creep in my mind. Hopefully it’s over now. Here you go @silhouetted-beauty love you sis <3 

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