it was mainly for me to vent anyway

Not Enough

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Word Count: 352

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING!! Mentions of blood, and suicide.

A/N: I’ve been going through some things recently so I apologize if it’s a lot of feelsy stuff ;u; this fic is mainly me venting and just blurbs. I promise to get back on track with Little Fall of Rain though, chapter 3 will be out this week


Every blank stare was a dagger,
Every word you spoke was pointless,
All you ever did was hurt.
Hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt.
It didn’t matter how much anyone tried to get close to you, “they hate me anyways” you thought. 

So there you were, laying on your bed. Too tired to live any longer, your pale, slender fingers reaching for the alluring object you kept at the edge of your bed.
“(y/n)?” There was a soft knock at your door. “Love- please come out-” the doorknob clinked as if someone was trying to open it.
“Go away-” your voice was dry and weak from crying, curled up on the bed you felt hopeless. And although you had the best boyfriend in the world, you never felt good enough. Everything you did was not enough, as much as Newt had protested against you wasting your energy on making sure he was happy. He had never seen you in such a helpless state before.
Hollow eyes, painful words.
Honestly you just wanted to test him to see if he would stay.
“(y/n) I can’t take this, I’m coming in.”
There was a click as Newt snapped the handle, although it sounded more like ringing in your ears. He came rushing in to find your curled up body in a growing pool of blood.
“Merlin’s beard-”
All you remember is seeing the panic in his eyes and the way his calloused fingers gently cleaned your arm.
“Newt?” Your body shook as your voice became shallow
“Yes?” He looked to you, tears streaming down his hazel eyes, attempting to contain himself but doing a terrible job, ugly sobs erupting from his throat.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so horrible to you. I hope you find someone who deserves you more than I have” a weak smile spread across your lips, your vision becoming blurry, it was hard to make out his features.
“(y/n) no one has deserved me more than you, I love you” he laughed half heartedly through a sob as your vision became black, your delicate hand going limp in his.

anyways i made a blog where antis can submit anonymously their opinions so shaladins can’t spam them after

bc i know every time i make an anti post i get 2000 anons telling me to kms and im fuckign sick of it

mainly for antis to vent/talk about discourse without shippers bothering them!! if ur an anti and interested feel free to rb this to spread the word lmao

SRK obsessed

Omg ok, so I’m writing here because I need to vent and my bestie isn’t available right now…anyway. I have a new obsession: SRK movies. Bollywood. Well, SRK mainly.

Oh my god… one of my students is from India, and we had a conversation about movies, and he suggested some titles, and now I’m completely hooked, but most of all I’M COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH SRK AND I KNOW HE’S MARRIED AND I AM MARRIED AND HE’S 20 YEARS OLDER THAN ME BUT I WANT TO MARRY HIM.

He’s such a phenomenal actor. And I’ve seen like, six ore seven movies, so I think it’s only the tip of the iceberg.

So far my favourites are Jab Tak HAi Jaan (that was the first Bollywood movie I saw) and Veer-Zaara, WHICH MADE ME CRY FOR HOURS AND HOURS.

I’ve also seen sillier movies, like Happy New Year and Don 1 and 2, but I’ve enjoyed them immensely thanks to SRK.

And, boy. Bollywood movies. I’ve never seen a more tragic, more theatrical, a more romantic way of telling stories and making movies. Why, why must the hero and the heroine always suffer for years and years, or dying in each other’s arms, or… let’s not even talk about Devdas.

Ok, I’m done. Off to watch something else.

If you have some Bollywood movies  - that aren’t SRK movies, because i fully intend to watch them all -  to suggest, feel free to write to me!


Originally posted by bollywoodmastani