it was like a five minute shoot

Thoughts on OITNB Season 5

The Good:

  • This season was a lot of fun. I never felt bored, and the pacing was just right. They made roughly four days (I think?) last 13 episodes, but I don’t feel as though anything was dragged out.
  • Red on speed was fucking hilarious. So many great lines out of her this season. “In Russia, we don’t have proverbs. We have vodka and misery.”
  • Young Red back story!
  • Soso’s memorial to Poussey.
  • The subtle social commentary/anti-gun message in the premiere, where every time someone asked/talked about the gunfire a different American mass shooting was referenced. Needless to say, there was a lot.
  • Taystee taking the fucking microphone from Judy King. 
  • Taystee repeating Poussey’s name over and over. Punching Caputo in the face for not doing so. A+
  • Taystee as a whole was pretty amazing this season, even if she eventually screwed everything up.
  • Linda becoming Boo’s girlfriend for five minutes but then ultimately getting completely fucked over.
  • Piper and Alex sticking mostly to mundane couple issues. Nothing hugely earth-shattering between the two of them. I was sick of the constant forced drama.
  • I feel like Piper made actual progress with her mother, and the fact that particular conversation lead to her impromptu proposal was awesome.
  • Nicky was clean, hilarious, and hot as hell. Couldn’t get enough of her this season, and loved seeing the real depths of her feelings for Lorna. The brief role reversal with her and Red was a fun trip as well.
  • Red and Blanca friendship was an unexpected treat.
  • FRIEDA
  • I could not love Gloria Mendoza more if I tried.
  • Alison was fleshed out, and I’m really starting to love her as a character.
  • Piper being a Slytherin, headcanon confirmed. 
  • Caputo being a badass in his negotiations with Fig. 
  • Chang peacing out. 
  • Ending the season with The Cinematic Orchestra’s “To Build a Home” – a better song choice doesn’t exist. I have always associated that song with this show. Bravo. The last five minutes gave me chills.
  • Cindy singing Suzanne to sleep, then later Cindy hugging Suzanne, apologizing, crying. I loved it.

The Bad:

  • I feel like the overall message with Suzanne was scattered and poorly handled, and while Uzo did an amazing job with what she was given, I feel like the writing wasn’t necessarily realistic in that it hasn’t been tackled what exactly Suzanne’s mental illness is, purely so the writers can twist her symptoms to fit the plot.
  • Unlike most people I’m not mad about the Piscatella back-story, but it felt incomplete to me. I feel like there is not enough explanation there. What happened to Wes? It seemed like given some of what Piscatella said that there must have been some kind of betrayal there. Given that he’s dead, we’ll probably never find out, but I just felt like there were pieces missing to his story.
  • I feel like Daya fell flat this season. Her characterization was all over the place until she gave herself up and quietly disappeared. 
  • Vinnie and Lorna are, as always, the cringiest. I guess that’s sort of the point, though.
  • I’m not sure what they were trying to do with the Nazis/Sankey? I don’t know if they were trying to endear us to them, but it felt…weird. Like their racism was purely situational and just seemed to disappear when it was convenient. I feel uncomfortable that they were played in a way that I wanted to like them, then felt horrified because Jesus, they’re FUCKING NAZIS
  • Black Lattes Matter would never be a meme
  • Sophia disappearing halfway through the season. Seriously? Her helping in medical was awesome. I would’ve loved to have seen more of that.

The Ugly:

  • Coates x Pennsatucky makes my fucking skin crawl. How can this be a thing? Why is this a thing? WHY IS SHE PAIRED WITH HER RAPIST AND WHY IS IT PORTRAYED AS CUTE?
  • The general rapeyness of how most of the male hostages were treated, mainly Stratman, Josh, and Luschyek. It dehumanized a lot of the girls for me and made me really uncomfortable.
  • Adding onto that: Angie and Leanne have become way too much. “I’ve raped guys before, and I could tell that was genuine.” What the fuck? Why did this need to be in there? I don’t understand how we are ever supposed to have any sympathy for these two ever again. Which is a shame with Leanne, because she has one of the more interesting back stories on the show.
  • Watching the guy who raped Wes Driscoll get burned alive was something I could’ve done without seeing. Hearing his screams would’ve been enough to get the point across.
  • Humps was creepy when he was alive, creepy when he was dying, and creepy upon death. Not sad to see him go. 
  • Piscatella torturing Red in front of her girls…Alex’s arm getting snapped…that whole episode was amazingly handled, but it was still really difficult to watch.
  • Caputo getting trapped in the POO for so long was really gross and disturbing. The man was literally locked in a piss/shit/puke filled porta-potty for days in what I’m pretty sure is summer or early autumn. 
  • Seriously, all of those guards are going to be permanently traumatized. What they were put through is sick.

TL;DR: This has been one of my favorite seasons yet, fun and brilliant, even if there’s an unfortunate amount of it I desperately wish I could un-see, and I feel some of it should have been handled differently. 

The Kissing Booth

A SnowBaz fanfiction


Simon

Once a year, usually in the spring, Watford stages a carnival for the students.  It’s usually quite humble, mainly consisting of booths selling small magic trinkets, or snacks like cotton candy, sweets and other classic carnival fare.  There’s always the tiny petting zoo over near the Cloisters, and some years Watford even scrapes enough together to bring in a carousel.  Most of the booths are run by student volunteers, and though everything is by donation, all proceeds go to whichever charity the student body has voted on.

           I go every year, mostly for the caramel apples and sweet cider, but this is the first year I’ve been behind the scenes of the carnival and helped at a booth.

           In truth, I didn’t even sign up for it, but Agatha hadn’t had a break all day and needed some cotton candy of her own.

           I should have told her to find Penny, or Trixie or even Minty.  Anyone but me.

           It doesn’t take long for the word to spread that Simon Snow has taken over the Kissing Booth, and mortifyingly the line has doubled in length.  Mostly first or second-year girls, blushing and stammering or swaggering up to the counter with a pronounced sway in their step, with the odd boy interspersed through the line.

           It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me – that honour goes to the time in second year that Baz stumbled upon a spell that made my clothes slowly dissipate, garment by garment, in the middle of the dining hall – and after the first two or three quick, cold kisses I start to calm down, but I’m counting the minutes until Agatha comes back.  How she endured hours of this, I cannot comprehend.  That’s just Agatha, I guess.

           A redhead drops her donation into the tin and her eyes flit around, meeting me for only a split second at a time, her cheeks aflame.  I try to look as non-threatening as I can and lean forward enough that she can close the rest of the space.  She darts in with a kiss that’s no more than a peck before running over to a giggling pair of who must be her friends, a triumphant grin on her face. She must have been dared.  Poor girl.  I hope I wasn’t her first.

           “Well, well, well.”

           My stomach lurches at the cold drawl I know only too well.

           “What are you doing here, Baz?” I say in as civilized a tone as I can manage.

           He stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth in a twist that’s a bit too amused to be a sneer.  “When I heard that the Chosen One had taken over the Snogging Booth, I simply had to see it for myself.”

           “Well, now you’ve seen it, so now you can go.”

           “Saving the World of Mages one kiss at a time,” Baz murmurs with a chuckle.  “Not exactly what I was envisioning.”

           “I’m only covering for Agatha,” I retort, “she’ll be back in five minutes if you’re wanting her services.”

           He scoffs.  “I’d rather not snog your girlfriend, thank you very much.”

           “She’s not my – forget it,” I shake my head.  I’ve told him at least a dozen times, but it never stops him.

           “She must have been really desperate for a break to put you in charge,” Baz drawls on, his voice smooth like honey but with too much of a bite to be sweet.  “You’d think she’d at least pick someone attractive for the Kissing Booth.”

           It stings, but I don’t flinch.  “What, someone like you?” I spit back too fast.

           His eyebrows shoot up in delighted surprise as I realize my mistake.  “You flatter me, Snow,” he purrs, and I feel my cheeks heat up, but I furrow my brow tighter and hope it passes for anger.

           “Is there a reason you’re still here?” I growl as the burning spreads from my cheeks to my ears.  

           “As a matter of fact, there is,” Baz says, and his gray eyes look cool enough to staunch the flames at the tips of my ears, but the more I glare into them the more the fire rages.  “I’m here to torment you.”

           “Great, well you’ve done that.”

           “I wanted to see what you’d do.”  He leans on the edge of the counter, bringing his face far too close to mine for comfort. “What would the Mage’s Heir do if his nemesis showed up at the Kissing Booth?”

           “You can torment me any time,” I shoot back, “you’re holding up the line.”

           “Oh, yes, well,” he feigns conern, “I wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their kiss.”

           “Then go away.”

           His eyes narrow and he pretends to think.  “Mmm, no.  I don’t think so.”

           “Baz, I’m warning you.”

           “Terrifying,” he drones, “but this is too much fun.  Besides,” his eyebrow flickers up, “don’t you owe me a kiss?”

           I flash him a smirk of my own.  “Aw, Baz. If you were so desperate for a kiss, you could’ve just asked.”

           Baz, to his credit, doesn’t bat an eye.  “You think of that comeback yourself?”

           “There’s a fee, you know,” I ignore him, barely having to raise my voice above a murmur for him to hear me, he’s so close.  “You haven’t paid the fee, so I don’t owe you anything.”

           He doesn’t drop his eyes from mine, and the cool gray takes on the spark of a challenge.  Out of my periphery I see him reach into his pocket, and there’s the clatter of coins dropping into the tin.

           I should punch him.

           I should spit in his face.

           I wanted to see what you’d do.

           I take him by the lapels and crush his mouth under mine.

           He makes a muffled sound of shock.  To be fair, so do I, but mine is more angry than it is surprised.  I kiss him hard and rough, and it’s a bit of a juxtaposition because his mouth is oddly soft.  A face like his, you’d expect his lips to be made of marble, cold and unmoving, but he’s the farthest thing from unmoving.  I can’t tell if he’s struggling or if he’s kissing me back but his lips are so, so soft and I want to bruise them, mark them, bite them…

           I only stop when a series of wolf whistles reminds me that there are at least ten people watching us.

           Trying to salvage the illusion of control, I break away harshly, still gripping him by his collar.  The cocky smirk has dropped from his smooth features and now his face mirrors mine, a matching scowl, like I’ve crossed a dangerous line.  I probably have.

           “Was that what you wanted?” I growl.

           He doesn’t answer, just holds my gaze another few seconds before pushing back from the table, his lapels slipping out of my hands, and stalking away.

*** 

I don’t see Baz at the carnival after that, and I stay as long as the booths are open, perusing the same counters and feigning interest even after having looked through their contents three times.  I keep Penny company where she mans the popcorn booth, drizzling caramel over every few cartons, and I even get bored enough to hang around Agatha back at the Kissing Booth for a little while, until one too many patrons have asked if I’m available for service.  When she and Penny are freed we pet the goats at the petting zoo, the ones that Ebb has graciously volunteered for the event, and take a few spins on the carousel.  Only once the light has begun to fade and the signs are being lowered from their booths do the three of us part ways.  Even then, I offer to help Ebb get her goats back safely.

           Basically, I’m doing anything I can to put off going back to the room, but eventually I can’t avoid it any longer.  I’ve wandered the grounds enough times that the sun has properly disappeared behind the distant hills and I can barely see the ground in front of me. Even then I’m tempted to consider crazy alternatives like spending the night at Ebb’s place, but I’m pretty sure that would be against school rules anyway, and besides, I’ll have to face Baz eventually.  There’s no undoing what’s happened.

           When I finally trudge back into the room, he’s staring out the window at the moat, presumably trying to intimidate the merwolves, but he turns at the sound of the door.  His expression, though I don’t see it for long before I look away, is hard to read. Wide eyes and a furrowed brow, like he’s still mad at me for my stunt earlier, but there’s a bit of a questioning edge there, too.  Almost a where were you edge.

           Normally I have to start any type of conversation, but tonight he wastes no time. “What the hell was that, Snow?”

           There’s no question as to what he’s referring, and I can’t help but get angry again.  “Me? You’re the one who had to start something!”

           “Well, you didn’t have to react so drastically,” he mutters, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall by the window, the moonlight casting its glow on his skin and making him even paler than usual, almost transparent.  I half expect fangs to slide out from his lips for no reason and complete the picture.

           His soft, soft lips.

           “You were egging me on,” I seethe, the memory igniting the rage that I’d felt in the fractured moment before kissing him, “it’s your fault anything happened.”

           “Proud little hero,” Baz says with the slightest smirk, “can’t back down from a challenge.”

           “You know I can’t, not in front of people.”

           “Wouldn’t want them to think the Heir is a coward.”

           I feel like a balloon in me is swelling and deflating at once.  “But that’s just it, Baz,” I insist, anger momentarily aside.  “If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?”

           He doesn’t answer right away, and for a second I think maybe he understands. I want so badly for him to understand.

           “No reason,” Baz eventually says, turning to look out the window again, “not with someone like you as the Chosen One.”

           I want to groan, to kick something, to shake him by the shoulders and make him look me in the eye and for once not fight me.  Have we ever in our lives made eye contact without there being some challenge between us?

           “Why did you have to get in that line?” I shake my head.  “There are so many other ways of tormenting me, lower-stakes ways.”

           “To be fair, I’ve already exhausted most of those,” Baz murmurs with a little shrug of his shoulders.

           “When have you ever been fair?”

           “Touché.”

           I’m tired of standing here at the door, so I kick off my shoes and sit down on my bed, trying not to think about how much closer I am to him now, still at the window, looking as vampiric as ever.  His gray eyes are positively silver in the moonlight, and the black of his hair looks silkier than ever, as if it’s soaking the rays directly into him. He almost glows.  I have to laugh a little, because more than once Baz has mockingly compared me, with my bronze curls and sky-blue eyes, to the sun, but he himself wears a halo of night.  If I am the sun, then Baz is most certainly the moon.  Distant, cold, mysterious, almost too pristine to touch.

           His gaze returns to me suddenly.  He raises an eyebrow in a wordless inquiry, and I realize I’ve been staring.

           “What exactly was it you expected me to do?”

           “At what point, Snow?” he gives a humourless laugh.  “You had more than one opportunity to react.”

           “When you paid the fee.”

           His tiny smile disappears.  “It doesn’t matter.”

           “It does.”

           “Drop it, Snow,” he says, the hardness returning to his eyes, and I know I’ve cornered him.  Drop it is Baz’s way of betraying himself, of saying there’s something that he doesn’t want to tell.

           “Was I supposed to kiss you?” I ask.  For some reason I have to know.

           “No.”

           “Then what?”

           “I don’t know, Snow, punch me.  Push me. Beat me to the ground.  Something.”

           My brow furrows in confusion.  “Wait. You wanted me to hit you?”

           He shrugs, more with his head than his shoulder.  “One of us has to get hurt, right?”

           I rise to my feet, and I’m face-to-face with him again, only his eyes are different this time.  Whereas at the booth he had betrayed no hint of doubt at our closeness, now there’s a flicker of something in the silver, something that feels a lot like the way my heart is racing in my chest, and it dawns on me.  He was putting on a show at the carnival, acting like nothing I could do would get to him, just as I had been.

           If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?

           One of us has to get hurt, right?

           And suddenly it makes sense.

           There’s only a few inches between us, so it feels almost natural when I lean in and press the gentlest of kisses to his lips.

           He doesn’t kiss me back this time, but he doesn’t move away either.  “What was that for?” he asks when I draw back a second later.

           “You act like we’re so different,” I say wonderingly, “but we’re the same.”

           “How?”

           “What do you think we’d be if we didn’t have to fight each other?”

           I don’t miss the split second of longing in his eyes.  “Keep dreaming, Snow.”

           “Because I bet it would involve a lot more of this.”  I bring a hand up to his neck, my fingers instantly lost in the wavy tips of his hair and it’s exactly as soft as it looks bathed in moonlight.

           Baz closes his eyes like he has to collect himself.  “You’re the hero.  I’m the villain.  What more do I have to say?”

           “Fuck that,” I chuckle, “we both know that’s not true.  You’re a boy, and I’m a boy.  That’s all.”

           “Tell that to the rest of the world.”

           “I don’t care about the rest of the world,” I shake my head adamantly, “I want to know what you think.”    

           “About what?”

           “If there was no act, no reputation, no role to play,” I murmur, “if we were just two boys, what would you do?”

           Baz returns my gaze a moment, searching my eyes.    

           Then his lashes close and he’s kissing me, and my eyes drift shut again like I’m sighing in relief.

           I let my fingers tangle higher up in his hair while my other hand grips the front of his shirt like earlier, only without the anger of the afternoon.  He angles his head further and guides the kiss deeper, his hands gently gripping my waist and pulling me closer.  I melt against him, my mouth moving with his, my head swimming with his citrusy scent, and I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat when he takes my bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle tug. Suddenly I’m floating, weightless, and Baz gives a muffled sound of surprise when I press back a little harder.

           When we finally break apart, both of us gasping and dizzy, I immediately want more, want to line his neck with my mouth, want to feel his breath hitch when I reach the base of his throat, want to hear my name in his sigh.  Would he sigh Snow or Simon?  I want to know.

           “Please,” I whisper, dotting a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “can’t we just be two boys?”

           When I meet his eyes, they’re full of more longing than ever.

           In response, he kisses a soft, slow triangle pattern on my cheek, and I recognize the pattern of the three moles by my eye, and I can’t help but smile.

“We can try.”

11 Electrifying Facts about Jellyfish

Some are longer than a blue whale. Others are barely larger than a grain of sand. One species unleashes one of the most deadly venoms on Earth. Another holds a secret that’s behind some of the greatest breakthroughs in biology. In every way, jellyfish are fascinating creatures and today we’re celebrating them with 11 wild facts!

1. Jellyfish have inhabited the ocean for at least half a billion years, and they’re still flourishing even as the sea changes around them.

2. Jellyfish are soft-bodied sea creatures that aren’t really fish. They’re part of a diverse team of gelatinous zooplankton, zooplankton being animals that drift in the ocean.

3. A noted feature of jellyfish is a translucent bell made of a soft delicate material called mesoglea. Sandwiched between two layers of skin, the mesoglea is more than 95% water held together by protein fibers. The jellyfish can contract and relax their bells to propel themselves. They don’t have a brain or a spinal cord, but a neural net around the bell’s inner margin forms a rudimentary nervous system that can sense the ocean’s currents and the touch of other animals.

4. Jellyfish don’t have typical digestive systems, either. These gelatinous carnivores consume plankton and other small sea creatures through a hole in the underside of their bells.

5. The nutrients that jellyfish consume are absorbed by an inner layer of cells with waste excreted back through their mouths.

6. One species of jellyfish glows green when it’s agitated, mostly thanks to a biofluorescent compound called green fluorescent protein, or GFP. Scientists isolated the gene for GFP and figured out how to insert it into the DNA of other cells. There, it acts like a biochemical beacon, marking genetic modifications, or revealing the path of critical molecules. Scientists have used the glow of GFP to watch cancer cells proliferate, track the development of Alzheimer’s, and illuminate countless other biological processes. Developing the tools and techniques from GFP has netted three scientists a Nobel Prize in 2008, and another three in 2014.

7. The jellyfish’s sting, which helps it capture prey and defend itself, is its most infamous calling card. In the jelly’s epidermis, cells called nematocysts lie coiled like poisonous harpoons. When they’re triggered by contact, they shoot with an explosive force. It exerts over 550 times the pressure of Mike Tyson’s strongest punch to inject venom into the victim. 

8. The venom of one box jellyfish can kill a human in under five minutes, making it one of the most potent venoms of any animal in the world.

9. Jellyfish who may be the most successful organisms on Earth. There are more than 1,000 species of jellyfish, and many others that are often mistaken for them.

10. Ancient fossils prove that jellyfish have inhabited the seas for at least 500 million years, and maybe go back over 700 million. That’s longer than any other multi-organ animal. And as other marine animals are struggling to survive in warmer and more acidic oceans, the jellyfish are thriving, and perhaps getting even more numerous.

11. Some jellyfish can lay as many as 45,000 eggs in a single night. And there’s some jellyfish whose survival strategy almost sounds like science fiction. When the immortal jellyfish is sick, aging, or under stress, its struggling cells can change their identity. The tiny bell and tentacles deteriorate and turn into an immature polyp that spawns brand new clones of the parent.

From the TED-Ed Lesson Jellyfish predate dinosaurs. How have they survived so long? - David Gruber

Animation by Silvia Prietov

Marvey and romantic tropes

Inspired by these awesome posts: x, x, here’s a list of ten (of many tbh) romance tropes played with in Mike and Harvey’s narrative, starting with ones that actually are on TVTropes, followed by ones that are just general narrative things (All gif credits at bottom of post):

1. Meet Cute (+Rescue Introduction)

Do I even need to explain this one? A sick grandmother, running from the cops, mistaken identity…Literally the first 20 minutes of this series is about these two and how they’re going to meet thanks to some crazy circumstances, and how a malfunctioning briefcase full of pot is going to change their lives (and they don’t even know it yet):

2. Forgotten First Meeting (Or Connected All Along if you want to be finicky):

Harvey passed Mike and Trevor on the street ‘five years ago’ when Mike was working as a bike messenger and Mike said ‘If I ever look like that shoot me’ which is ironic because he will work so hard to look like that in five years but also not that ironic because Mike probably said that to deflect Trevor’s attention from the fact that he is 100% checking Harvey out and very interested in what he sees (And it is what he sees, since the camera is Mike’s gaze and it does a full elevator scan. Interesting choice there, editors):

3. Disposable Fiancé, and the Break-Up/Make-Up Scenario:

I’d have to post the entirety of 3x02 to illustrate it all tbh? From the ‘We’re done but I’m still going to be pissy about your new relationship nvm that the trigger for you falling into the relationship was that you were upset from our “break-up”’:

to the ‘I’m going to get right in your face for maximum UST and heartbreak for when I tell you we’re done’:

to poor Louis becoming the disposable fiancé who sees an opportunity:

and woos Mike:

while Harvey denies to himself how much he loves misses him (while looking that heartbroken jesus gabriel):

And of course it doesn’t work because right as Mike and Louis are about to ‘make it official’:

Along comes Harvey like everyone knew he would with these faces and ‘You’re not going back on your word [to Louis], you’re going back where you belong [with me]’:

And then you get the Big Damn…High Five:

(with Louis looking on which is bittersweet because unlike the usual disposable fiancé scenario he is sympathetic).

4. Race for your Love:

Okay, literally, this is even more romantic here than in its usual use?? “Most commonly found in Romantic Comedies, Race For Your Love usually occurs five minutes or so before the credits roll.” “Someone is about to leave the city/state/country forever, but their lover runs to the train station/airport to convince them to stay.” 

Except Mike is not about to leave the city he’s about to turn himself in to make sure Harvey doesn’t do the same, to protect Harvey, and Harvey’s running to stop him?? And we get shots of Harvey running this long fucking run in slow mo (and it continues into the next episode lmao):

5. Odd couple:

“A friendly (sometimes romantic) relationship between completely different people, usually the main characters.”

Good lawyer, bad lawyer. Winning vs caring, etc., their contrasts would need a whole separate post:

6. [Saving the] Damsel in Distress:

Mike is literally Harvey’s damsel in distress lmao?? It’s always because of something happening with Mike that Harvey ends up doing his angry “I’m going to save my bb” power walk:

7. Act of True Love [Fight]:

“An act of sacrifice or high risk, motivated by love, which proves beyond a doubt that you put your loved one’s needs before your own.”

Not only do they both pull these, they fight about who gets to put the other’s safety above his own, multiple times:

This happens again for a whole half fucking season I’m not going to post gifs of all of it because it would be too many but it culminates in a downright physical fight because Harvey’s pissed Mike’s pulling the Act of True Love and has locked him out of doing it and so he throws a fucking glass and then goads him into hitting him because he’s in that much pain over what Mike’s doing for him what the fuck:

And then Mike goes to prison and Harvey gets him out because of course, and you’d think it’d be over now right? But nope.

Narrative things that aren’t really on tvtropes:

8. Protectiveness/Possessiveness:

They’re just very, very protective and territorial of each other. Not hard to interpret as a romance trope at all. Again, to illustrate, I’d have to post gifs from the whole show so just have two at random:

9. “Staring at the empty space you should fill”:

I mean, I guess there’s a platonic interpretation for standing outside someone’s empty office with your morning coffee, broodingly staring at the chair they used to sit in. I usually only see behavior like this in romantic contexts in other media though:

10. “At Your Door” parallels

Doorstep parallels are just an otp staple and they have the most in the show. Like, someone still has to make an updated version with the most recent examples lmao, so here’s another two at random:

Gif credits: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

Signs as Captain America: Civil War Quotes

Aries: Move, Captain. I will not ask a second time.

Taurus: I retire for what, like, five minutes, and it all goes to shit.

Gemini: That thing does not obey the laws of physics at all.

Cancer: I just want to be sure you’ve considered all our options. Because people who shoot at you, usually wind up shooting at me too.

Leo: You know what’s about to happen, do you wanna punch your way out of this?

Virgo: Look, man, I know you know a lot of super people so… thinks for thanking of me.

Libra: It’s your conscience. We don’t talk a lot these days.

Scorpio: Sometimes I just want to punch you in your perfect teeth.

Sagittarius: I said I’d help you find them, not catch them. There’s a difference.

Capricorn: I’m sorry Tony, you know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice. But he’s my friend.

Aquarius: Mission Report: December 16th, 1991.

Pisces: So was I.

Columbine High School’s Mascot - before and after the shooting

Earlier version of the Columbine High School rebel mascot on a t-shirt before April 20th 1999. 

And today. Note the conspicuous absence of a gun in the modern image. Interestingly, Eric Harris chose to go by the nickname “REB” or “Rebel” while attending Columbine. 

NEW YORK, Oct. 26 /PRNewswire/ - It’s been almost five years since Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students, a teacher and themselves in what remains the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history. Today’s kids claim that most of the time no one at Columbine even thinks about “Columbine.” They say they’re just like high-schoolers everywhere. But more than 60 interviews with students and members of the community reveal a school that dwells simultaneously in its past and its present, reports General Editor Susannah Meadows 3 issue of Newsweek.

Last week Klebold and Harris showed up again. On Wednesday police released a 15-minute video sowing the boys taking target practice in the woods six weeks before they opened fire at Columbine. Tom Mauser, who lost his 15-year-old son, Daniel, says, “It’s just too bad that it comes out in bits and painful pieces like this, rather than all at once.” But the video was only the latest reminder. In the wake of last year’s Oscar-winning documentary “Bowling for Columbine,” a new film, “Elephant,” depicts a massacre just like Columbine’s in unrelenting detail. 

“People keep saying, ‘Well, now are you back to normal?’ But there’s never going to be normality here,” says principal Frank DeAngelis. Since the shooting-era students left a year and a half ago, the school’s taken its greatest steps toward recovery. Though tourists still peek in while school’s in session, there’s more giggling in the halls now. “For the three years after the tragedy, it was a very different place. It was too quiet,” says counselor Susan Peters. 

One indication that the school is reaching a new normal is that bullying is back. A student was recently suspended for writing a note to a friend about wanting to get rid of Jeremy Lodwig, the lone boy on the color guard. Why would someone write that? “I’m different,” says the 15-year-old sophomore with bright orange hair glued into little spikes. “I have more girlfriends than I do guys.” Heidi Cortez, who was a sophomore when everyone hiding under the library tables around her was killed, says, “Did we not learn anything?” 

Because many kids - and armchair psychiatrists - think peer abuse may have contributed to Klebold and Harris’s rage, some students are strangely sensitive for teenagers. “You want to be like, ‘Oh, my God, I can’t believe she does her hair that way, she’s such a loser!’ [But] you try and hold yourself back. You never know if you’re going to be the one person to break them,” says freshman Jaimie Hebditch, a “watergirl” for the JV football team. 

Students whose older siblings survived the massacre are the most vigilant. Ty Werges, a sophomore on the soccer team, tells how he came upon some kids slamming shut the locker of a student who’s mentally impaired: “I was like, ‘Why are you doing that? Do you feel cool now?’ They were shocked because out of nowhere someone sticking up for another kid is kind of weird,” says Werges. 

But the bulling stopped. Columbine’s counselors (four out of five of whom spoke to Newsweek) argue that the massacre wasn’t caused by bullying and that kids will always beat up on other kids. For them the return of such behavior is actually something of a relief. “oh, it’s a girl fight. Something normal,” counselor Ken Holden says he hears colleagues say. 

The real legacy of the massacre lies in what’s missing. The Columbine mascot, a 1776 Revolutionary “Rebel” soldier, no longer carries a gun. The bare vinyl floors of the school are striking to anyone who remembers that all the carpet was ripped out after the mess of that day. The library, which was above the cafeteria and where most of the shootings occurred, has been removed and rebuilt in a different part of the school; now students eat their lunch in a sun-filled atrium that fills the space where the library used to be. The names of those who were lost are now inscribed on the memorial in the new library. 

What’s most surprising about Columbine is that, despite the ghosts of the past, all kinds of students - flag-twirlers, cheerleaders, self-described dorks, drummers, soccer players, choral singers - say they love coming to school here. “We take such a pride in our school,” says Danny Beyer, a senior in the choir whose older sister, Lauren, survived 4/20. “Even though we might not be the best, but because this is our school.” 

Hannibal fic prompt: Will Graham is way too pretty
  • will graham: i’m a grouchy unsociable loner
  • jack crawford: you have 14 restraining orders against ex-girlfriends, ex-hairdressers, and ex-coworkers who randomly fell in love with you after seeing you once in the Quantico cafeteria
  • will graham: where i eat ALONE at a table by the window ALONE
  • beverly katz: people literally choke on their food around you because they forget how to breathe and chew at the same time
  • will graham: no one likes me or invites me to social events
  • beverly katz: you got invited to mark's retirement party just last week, you ruined three relationships just by walking around the room once, the only thing you told mark was 'sorry to see you go' and the poor old bastard offered to leave his wife of 25 years for you
  • will graham: i sweat like a pig
  • jimmy price: you don't sweat like a pig, you glisten like a sea-sprayed statue of antinous
  • will graham: my unironic lumberjack clothes fit me poorly
  • brian zeller: you made 'lumberjack slob' the leading fashion trend in the Washington metropolitan area.
  • will graham: my students applauded me once for shooting a suspect, it was inappropriate
  • beverly katz: wanna talk inappropriate, your students once gave you a five-minute standing ovation for drinking from a water bottle
  • will graham: alana rejected my awkward and fumbling advances
  • alana bloom: my self-esteem couldn't handle me not being the pretty one in the relationship
  • will graham: supermarket tabloids cast aspersions on my character
  • freddie lounds: how else am i going to justify devoting 8 pages to long-range photos of you playing with your dogs or wandering around your property in your underwear? btw calvin klein's people called, they're ready to offer you six figures to model those cute little boxer briefs you favor
  • will graham: help me jack i am so broken and vulnerable!..
  • jack crawford: sorry buddy, i'm going to have to talk with my back to you from now on, bella told me not to look at you ever again after i called out your name during our anniversary sex
  • will graham: WELL FINE SCREW ALL OF YOU I'LL JUST TALK TO THIS SHRINK I AM BEING FORCED TO SEE BECAUSE MY AIR OF MYSTERY, SELF-SACRIFICE, AND LOVE OF RESCUING ABANDONED ANIMALS ARE ALL SO OFF-PUTTING
  • dr. hannibal lecter: ...
  • dr. hannibal lecter: hello! i know we literally just met, but all i want to do for the rest of my life is cook you delicious meals and fill my mansion with drawings of your face and butt
  • will graham: ...
  • dr. hannibal lecter: sorry, i don't think i'm saying this right. my apologies, english is my fifth language.
  • will graham: ah ok
  • dr. hannibal lecter: what i meant to say was, i want to give you all my infinite money and also babies
  • will graham: fml
Delirious

Sebastian Stan x reader

Notes: fluff, swearing, innuendo. 

Originally posted by the-dark-overlord-of-all

Summary: as Sebastian’s assistant you’re in control of almost every aspect of his life. Your relationship with him is friendly, however childish he can be sometimes. And when an accident happens on set, things get even more friendly. 

There will be a part two! 


“You know, this would be a lot easier if I’d have had my morning coffee..”

Sebastian’s voice trails and he looks at you, pushing out his lower lip in a pout. The make-up artist is still working on his hair, not to make it look better, but tousling it around messily. Other crew members are slicking up his left arm with lube to get him into the metal-looking arm that would complete the picture of Bucky Barnes.

You roll your eyes at him, he knows damn well there’s no time for coffee breaks.

“Yeah, I know, Mr Stan; but you wanted to sleep late, so: no coffee

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Fine Line

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Mark

Rating: NC-17

Prompt: “Please put your penis away.” / Smut / It’s a fine line between love and hate. At least, that’s what you tell yourself in order to remain blindly oblivious to the fact that, despite your best efforts, you have a definite attraction to your roommate. A roommate who may or may not like you back. 

Word Count: 2,330

Originally posted by gotpmgifs

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UF!Sans x Reader

This is for my half of a fic swap with @skeletorific
The prompt was for Red fluff with him trying to gain the Reader’s attention while they’re studying.  

*I hope you like it! <3  I kept trying to reign it in from becoming suggestive. xD


Sans hated being ignored.

It wasn’t like he was attention starved and ran around, waving his arms and demanding everyone look at him.  On the contrary, he preferred it when he wasn’t noticed–when monsters looked away from his gaze, lest they garner the wrath of him or his brother.

That hadn’t changed when the Barrier broke and monsters made it to the Surface.  Red still didn’t want any unnecessary attention; he still wanted monsters and humans alike to avert their eyes in his presence, and if they did happen to stare, he tended to get grouchy and defensive.  

You, on the other hand, were the exception.

Ever since you had come into his life, after he drunkenly hit on you at Surface Grillby’s and talked you into dancing the night away, he had actually been enamored.  He craved your attention like he craved mustard; he could never get enough.  He needed your touch, your hands cupping his cheeks and sliding toward the back of his skull, your soft body lined against his as you both moved to the beat of the music…

He sought your attention outside of the bar, as well.  He never pictured himself as the type with enough energy to actively court someone.  One-night-stands, sure, he could handle those no problem, but romance?  A relationship?  That would involve work, pursuit, putting someone else’s needs before his own.  It had always sounded like a pain, but now that you were in his life, he realized it wasn’t that difficult.  

In fact, it was fun.

So it came as no surprise that when you actually gave him a key to your place, he started taking a ‘shortcut’ inside whenever he wanted.  Hey, if you didn’t want him to randomly teleport into your bedroom (and occasionally your bathroom–it was as if he had a sixth sense for when you were showering!), you shouldn’t have given him the greenlight to come and go.  While he still usually slept as his own place (he wasn’t moving away from the boss anytime soon), he enjoyed spending his free time at yours, where he could demand your attention.

Only… right now, you were holding out on him.

And it was irritating.

“just take a little break,” he murmurs next to your ear, his tongue manifesting to slide along the side of your neck.  Your brows furrows, and you lean away, wiping his red-tinted saliva off with the back of your hand.

“Geez, Sans, I told you I have to study!  Finals are this week, and I need every minute to cram all this information into my brain.“

"i’ve got somethin’ i’d like to cram in ya,” he remarks without missing a beat, raising his bony brows suggestively.  

Sans, I’m serious!” you shoot back, shrugging his hand off your shoulder.  He grumbles, his smirk fading into a frown.  "You should just go home so I can concentrate.“

"fine, sheesh, i’ll be quiet,” he grumbles, moving to sit on the edge of your bed.  You can feel him staring at your back, however, and it makes it difficult to concentrate.  It takes a good five minutes to be able to relax enough to try to forget he’s behind you, but just as you finally get into the groove of memorizing notes, you hear the rustle of clothing behind you.

You ignore it.

Five more minutes go by, and every now and then, you hear Sans shifting around.  For the most part, he’s staying true to his word and remaining silent, but you know it’s only a matter of time before he gets bored and decides to bug you again.   It makes it impossible to study, and you’re stressed enough about the upcoming final that you whirl around with the intent to insist that Sans go home for the night and just let you focus, but–

–you discover Sans lying on your bed, clad in nothing but his shorts.  

His ribs are on full-display, one leg outstretched and the other bent, while his head is propped up with his arm.  He’s smirking at your expression, watching the shock and disbelief fade to a reddish tint and shift into exasperation.

“enjoyin’ the view, sweetheart?”

“Sans, what are you doing?  I told you… I said… I…”  You trail off, stumbling over your words as he begins to sit up and cross the room toward you.  His smirk has shifted into something almost predatory–a look that never fails to turn you into putty in his hands.  When his gaze locks with yours, you can see the victory shining in his bright eyelights.

“I need… to… study…” you manage, your voice soft.  Damn, he’s distracting when he’s standing in front of you like that, exuding confidence and gazing at you with such adoration, as if you’re the only thing in the world that matters.

“what ya need is a break, sweetheart. you’re stressed.”  His hands grip your shoulders, phalanges kneading your taunt muscles.  "just spend a little time away from the books and come back with a fresh perspective.“

Damn, he’s… he’s making sense.  Or do you really just want an excuse to let your resolve crumble so easily?  

Either way, when he coaxes you from the chair and over to the bed, you don’t offer any resistance.  Instead, you wrap an arm around his shoulders, lying back against the pillows while he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.  You can feel his ribs scrape against your arms, and your palms glide lightly along his scapulae.   "I’m just going to lie here for a moment.  That’s it,” you insist while he chuckles.  

“i know, doll.  i’m good with just stayin’ like this for a bit.”  He nuzzles his face into the side of your neck, just barely grazing your flesh with one of his sharp fangs.  You shiver lightly, holding onto him tighter, and he chuckles again, his breath hot against your skin.  "ya'know… if you’re havin’ any trouble with math stuff, i can help.“

You snort.  "I’m sure your brand of helping won’t help.”

He actually sounds insulted. “hey! what’s that supposed to mean?”

“What was that saying in high school?  Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray we don’t multiply?”

He pulls back enough to stare at you, slack-jawed for a moment, before he begins guffawing.  He actually ends up having to wipe red-tinted tears from his eyesockets.  "oh–sweetheart…that–“  It takes him a moment to pull himself together.  ”stars, that was good.  no, not that kind of math.  though, later tonight, i’d be game for an extra credit sorta deal.“  He smirks again, quirking a suggestive brow bone.  You just grin.  "i mean that i’ve got plenty of experience with equations and theorems.”  

“You do?”  It’s the first time he’s mentioned it; you didn’t take him for the type to care much about those kinds of things.  He seemed more inclined to go through the motions looking for shortcuts and trying to take things easy.  "Since when?“

"eh, it’s ancient history,” he answers vaguely, shrugging.  "but i can help ya if you want.“  His fingers skim across your arm, just feeling your skin.  

"Actually, yeah.  Sure.  It could help to go over it.”  And maybe he’d stop trying to derail your studying if you did it together.  

Sans grins, pleased. “every time you miss a question, ya have to take off an article of clothing.”

You chuckle and shake your head, trailing your fingers along his ribs.  He squirms a little, melting beneath your light touch.  "Nah, I’d get cold.“

"ok, fine. but if you answer enough right, ya get that extra credit lesson.”  Your fingers curl around a rib, and his breath catches.  "ah–or if ya keep doin’ that, you get it now.  whichever.“  

Smirking, you untangle yourself from him and sit up, sliding toward the edge of the bed while he tries to latch onto your waist. "Let’s save that for after.  Right now, let’s see if you really know anything about math, or if you’re just messing with me.”  

Sans sits up and follows you to the desk.  He’s wearing the same confident grin from before, only this time, it’s directed at your math book.  "sweetheart, prepare to be impressed.“  He pulls a seat up to your desk, and you sit beside him while he looks over your textbook.  

….You still can’t concentrate.  

”…And put on a shirt, you’re distracting.“  

He just grins.  "fine, but for every question ya miss, i’m takin’ off an article of clothing.”  He seems pretty adamant about turning this study session into a strip-game.

“Sans–”  

“ok, ok.”  His grins turns into a smirk.  "you’re right. wouldn’t want ya missin’ all the questions on purpose just to get me completely sans-clothes.“

You groan, and shortly after, he dives into an explanation of the part you were having trouble with.

To your surprise, he explains it perfectly.  

But, yeah, you’re still definitely going to want that extra credit lesson.

Ransom Week | Day Five | Human

“–so then I was saying, like, Ransom is a maniac at flash cards. Give him ten minutes and some markers and he’ll alphabetise the syllabus for you, no sweat.”

“Holster,” Rans hedges, feeling uncomfortable at the recount of Holster’s conversation with some of the new frogs.

Holster paces the floor of their attic while he talks. Ransom has to keep watch in case Holster’s long limbs shoot his hands out too close to Ransom’s face.

“Yeah, they were all just blinking, totally awed. I think they were confronted by how you are so boss at hockey but also life. I mean, it is phenomenal. You’re an inspiration. I was telling them that–”

“Holster,” Ransom tries again.

“–when it’s exams, and you get into coral reef mode, that they are not to disturb. But–”

“Adam!” Holster shuts up abruptly, coming to a stop in front of Ransom.

“I’m just… Like, it’s cool you’re so supportive, but we don’t know these dudes yet? And I’m just human, alright?”

Holster looks dejected, shoulders curving down.

“I don’t want–You don’t have to be telling them I’m some, like, study god. It’s too much.“

“Okay, Rans,” Holster says softly.

“I’m just, like, doing the work,”  Ransom tacks on, less overwhelmed now that Holster isn’t in constant movement, but still wanting to make his point; that he feels strange to be talked about like he’s some miracle.

Holster sits down beside him. “I just want them to appreciate you like I do.”

“Yeah, well,” Ransom sighs out. Holster has good intentions. It’s just a more dramatic approach than Ransom would like. “Like I said, they don’t really know us yet. Give them time. Sometimes it’s a little… a little much when you’re talking about me like that to everyone before they’ve even met me.”

Holster frowns, looking dejected. Ransom puts an arm around Holster’s wide shoulders, and pulls him in closer.

“Holtzy, I love you, and it’s cool that you’re always so supportive. Just… it’s like you’re making me the study robot to Jack’s hockey robot, yeah?”

“Oh, wow.” Holster blinks. “I’ve never thought about it like that. Jack hates that term.“

“Yeah,” Ransom agrees. “That’s my point.”

Holster is alarmingly quiet for a moment, then slaps a hand to Ransom’s chest and brings his face right up close, like he does when he’s moving into D&M mode (no matter how many times Ransom has told him physical closeness does not necessarily equal emotional closeness). “You know I don’t think you’re a robot. You’re more in touch with your emotions than I am.”

“Says the man who cries at cereal commercials,” Ransom jokes, feeling Holster’s sincerity. (Also, a little bit of spittle.) “Not sure that’s a compliment.”

Holster shoves Ransom backwards with the hand on his chest, and Ransom lets himself fall back on the bed.

“I declare hypocrisy. Who cried when Bitty’s ceramic pie-tin fractured yesterday?”

“Hey!” Ransom reaches up to yank Holster down and shove his face into the quilt beside him. “You did too, man.”

Holster shoves him off with a well placed elbow and Ransom rolls onto his back, lying beside Holster, laughing at the skewed angle of his glasses. He straightens them up for Holster, and knows that, even though the seriousness didn’t last very long, Holster heard him.

CP bachelor AU: part 9

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8

***

Through group dates, individual dates, competitions, parties, product placement and public meltdowns, the show continues. Laurent has been sure of the finalists since soon after the start of filming, but he manages to weave in enough red herrings and emotional tripwires to keep a viewing audience engaged. Even Kallias looks genuinely shocked when he beats out Pallas for a spot in the last four.

Pallas looks up at Damen, rueful, and accepts Damen’s hug goodbye. They both look sleek and strong and masculine in their suits.

“So,” Nicaise murmurs, “d'you think Lazar–”

“Don’t tell me,” Laurent says, “and I won’t have to fire anyone.”

“Ugh, you’re going soft,” Nicaise says.

The other finalists are less surprising. Erasmus has been unfurling with happiness like a literal fucking flower as the weeks pass, increasingly relaxed in front of the camera, constantly laughing and telling fond stories about the kids on his ward. For Damen not to choose him at this point would be like kicking a whole sackful of a puppies.

Jokaste is still Jokaste. Her cattiness behind the scenes is matched only by her charm when one-on-one with Damen. She is witty and edged and lovely, and if she isn’t inundated with offers after the season goes to air, Laurent will eat his headset, or possibly hire her himself.

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russpot  asked:

AU where the dregs go to an amusement park

asdasdj OKAY BUT:

- the dregs daring kaz to go on the ghost train and he’s like i ain’t afraid of no ghost?? so he gets on and 5 min later there are two men clad in sheets literally pushing through the staff exit, two spooky knights trailing after them and one skeleton muttering “i didn’t sign up for this” (you can clearly see kaz behind them, casually swooshing his cane around, the epitome of calm)
- meanwhile wylan decides to prove to kaz /and to himself + brag a little in front of jesper) he can handle the ghost ride too so he gets on another train, smoothing his hair back, rolling up his sleeves, acting all cool and badass. 5 min later wylan reappears, white as a sheet, wheezing a little, saying “the lamest ghosts i’ve ever seen!! hahahhahah!! fear who?? i don’t know her”
- nina treats inej to a delicious ice cream cone and they take cool pictures dressed up as marie antoinette and nina fills up her dress so much (and well) the photographer can’t get his bearings while nina just smooths down her skirts with a haughty smirk like, “from one cake lover to another”
- inej makes an offhanded comment about this plush tiger she liked and how it’s ridiculous to pay so much money to shoot a target in order to get smth so it becomes the dregs’ mission to get her that toy
- five minutes later the squad rolls up carrying an entire bag of plushies, some short cash and owner’s apology written in ink while he begged kaz not to set his amusement park on fire
- inej smiles, shakes her head and gives the tiger to a little brown girl who seems lonely and upset while her friends are at the playground with their barbies (she also tells her how tigers are one of the scariest felines AND predators in the entire world and it can eat three barbies at once)
- meanwhile matthias decides to try his luck with the high striker (that’s how it’s called here so idk if that’s the right term but it’s that thing where you test your strength by smashing a lever with a hammer), not really trying to boast about himself or anything and literally BREAKS the lever, apologizing profoundly to the completely shocked guy holding his price
- kuwei is just chilling on the carousel like, “this is nice”
- they collectively get on the roller coaster and even kaz screams at some point even if no one can tell if it’s the urge to puke or he’s actually genuinely happy and enjoying life rn
- either way they try every other ride until they’re literally green and regretting A Lot of the choices they’ve made in the past half an hour but they’ll always remember that day as one of the best days in their life - not just as a team but individually as well
- after they’re done puking (inej is the only one holding up but she helps them cope with the aftermath of the rides by gently holding nina’s hair, patting jesper on the back, safekeeping kaz’s cane, throwing dirty glances at anyone who makes a face at them bc excuse you you’d be sick after 15 amusement rides too?? tf??)
- later, they all go for refreshments while jesper shows them the pics he’s taken on his phone when they weren’t looking. there’s even one where kaz’s unmistakingly smiling at no one in particular (it’s just a coincidence inej’s laughing in the background and kaz’s head is turned in her general direction)
- the pic /mysteriously/ disappears a few hours later but the good memories (and the rest of jesper’s camera roll) remain

Busted

Can’t stop it.

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

Word Count: 2.4k

Genre: Fluff Smut/ Smut

A/N; I’m sorry for grammar errors, and that this one shit is shit. This was just something I wanted to post because I feel sad for not posting anything for my followes. 

“Jungkook, I’m grounded. I can’t go out with you or even go out of the house,” I said through the phone letting out a sigh from being grounded on a Saturday night. In fact, I was grounded for a whole week only because of one incident that happened last Saturday. 

The fact that I went out partying real hard last Saturday coming home all drunk and with a dress quite revealing in their opinion, but I didn’t get laid something that would be awful for both my mom and brother. I’m not the type of girl, who loves having sex with multiple guys at the same time. That’s just nasty in my opinion. This is my punishment no going out with friends, partying or even talk to people for a whole week. Unfair, I got safely home last Saturday and didn’t have a stretch on me. I was totally fine and I didn’t get into any trouble on my way home because someone was already taking care of me. 

“Just sneak out, I’m horny. Namjoon and all the older ones instead of Jimin and Taehyung are out on a trip. Jimin and Taehyung have their girlfriends here, so why can’t you come as well?”

“You know that we’re not even together. This was one mistake that turned into something. Namjoon is going to freak out if he finds out or in fact he’s going to get mad,” I said with a slightly worried tone, afraid that people would found out about our secret relationship. People all around the boys know that they have sex, but they don’t know who the girls are. The only ones in the group that have officially come out with their girlfriends are Jimin and Taehyung. The rest of the boys are either in a secret relationship or just have sex with a girl they found attractive. “It was a good mistake, so please come over”

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Imagine Harry Takes Care of You When You’re Drunk

You didn’t want to come to the wedding, you weren’t going to RSVP at all. You hadn’t talked to your cousin in ages, it almost seemed awkward to tell them you were going; but of course, your parents told you that it would be very rude of you not to go, and Harry agreed. He was giving you shit for not wanting to go, so you made him go with you, which he obviously didn’t mind at all. If it meant he got to dress up in a suit, and look at you in a pretty dress, then it was okay with him. He cleared his schedule and everything so he would be able to go with you. You thought it was sweet, while only being a little bit annoyed with the fact that you still have to go.

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LBJ

Author: @peetabreadgirl

Rating:

Prompt 12:, Anonymous, Katniss is trying to study in the library, but she can’t keep her eyes from wandering over to Peeta, who’s reading a comic book a few tables over. 

I took some liberties here. No comic book, but he’s still distracting her. And I included a bit of jealousy. Because that’s one of my favorite tropes and I just can’t help myself. ;) Enjoy the short read!

Originally posted by such-vodka

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Wacky Clap Moments™ with the Fab Four

•ghoul tying a drac’s shoelaces together and the four laughing at him until he started crying

•the girl hiding in the trans am, managing to get the engine started, and running over 3 dracs and a crow before figuring out how to brake

•poison and kobra finding an old stash of vhs tapes and answering all of korse’s threats with star wars quotes for the next week

•jet starting a fistfight with a joy who made fun of his hair, which the girl had just braided

•korse wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes and ghoul calling him “mr worldwide”

•show pony dressing up like a cheerleader and high-kicking a drac in the face during an intense and clearly choreographed rountine they were performing at the edge of the battle

•ghoul strapping fireworks to kobra’s arm to give him a super-punch, crushing both the drac’s face and kobra’s knuckles

•the four fighting off bli right outside dr d’s station and dr d broadcasting it like a sports game

•kobra driving the dracs and his crew crazy by making “pew pew” sounds when he shoots his gun

•poison glitter-bombing korse, forcing him to spend 200c to dry clean his coat

•jet telling ghoul that he’s too reckless, and ghoul blindfolding himself with his bandana to prove he could handle himself fine

•poison betting that ghoul would leave the blindfold on for five minutes tops, and kobra betting he’d keep it on til he or all the dracs were dead

•poison giving kobra ten carbons for losing the bet

•jet giving ghoul their entire supply of burn cream and the longest lecture the zones have ever seen

YOOOO I haven’t written anything in a long time and I’ve been wanting to write again and I’ve fallen into the Hamilton abyss so here we are.  also have you guys ever listened to taylor the latte boy bc I recommend it.  I’m accepting prompts/requests!!

title: hercules the latte boy
fandom: hamilton
pairing: hercules mulligan/reader
rating: t

Don’t be that person who walks into a coffee shop two minutes before close.  (Or do, if the barista’s hella cute.)

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anonymous asked:

The johnsnavi fam go to Disney world

CRY. PURE. YES. FIRST FAM VACATION. LONGASS HEADCANON.

Johsnavi + Disney Vacation: 

  • Usnavi checking, rechecking they have everything, literally not sleeping for a full week before their flight. 
  • Johan reminding his kids that Disney may look like a family oriented company but they are nothing but money grubbing business— (insert Usnavi slapping him) 
  • Claudio, responsible big bro, gets a good night sleep and remembers the passports when Usnavi accidentally leaves them on his dresser
  • Namaste decides to hide in the carry-on luggage compartment and Johan and Usnavi can’t find her, their flight is delayed. “WHERE IS MY BABY” (1) 
  • Finally @ Disney, Johan and Usnavi decide to divide and conquer and rejoin at Frontierland for lunch. 
  • Claudio and Usnavi aka “I’m not getting on that…” they ride the Dumbo ride without shame
  • Namaste chases down Mickey and gets lost, “WHERE IS MY BABY?!” (2) 
  • Twins double team Johan and end up getting him to the Buzzlighter laser shooting ride, Johan literally jumps at all the pop ups and offers peace
  • Twins notice Namaste is not with Usnavi, they say nothing and disappear after her
  • “WHERE ARE MY BABIES?” (3) 
  • Johan doesn’t want to tell Usnavi he lost the twins, Usnavi doesn’t want to tell Johan he lost Namaste
  • Claudio sees them running around like every five minutes and tries to tell his father but is ignored
  • Finally he runs off and Usnavi runs after him
  • Johan runs after Usnavi
  • They find the three kids eating massive turkey legs while Namaste wears one of the Mickey Mouse mascot heads
  • No one asks why
  • They watch the fireworks as a family and Johan loosens up their diet for ice cream because its been a long day
  • Dads kiss under the Disney fireworks
  • “EW DADDIES ARE GROSS” 
The Cutest Wrong Number

So I started getting texts from an unrecognized number this afternoon and I was immediately like @ducthulhu, did you sign me up for CatFacts again.

And he was like “no” and I was like -_-  …. @scojbo did you sign me up for CatFacts.

Seriously look at this.

So then I just kind of… assumed it was SOMEONE ELSE who had signed me up for cat mind games.

Because these are the kinds of people I know.

One time D subscribed me to CatFacts and it texted me every 15 minutes until I came into his room at 1 AM and reminded him I knew where he slept.

Anyway, I figured my assumptions were confirmed when my ironic “unsubscribe message” was immediately met with more by more spinning cat gifs and the message “ ❤ u”

But then my mysterious anon added “Aunt Cathy.”

I don’t have an Aunt Cathy.

I actually spent a good five minutes pondering whether I might, in fact, have an Aunt Cathy.

I don’t have an Aunt Cathy.

(the more times I type that, the more times ‘Cathy’ looks like a cat pun.)

But I’m like, oh shoot, I’m getting messages from someone’s Aunt Cathy.  And at that point my phone starts ringing!  It’s Aunt Cathy. Which is not a situation I’ve ever had to deal with before so I just text back “I don’t have an Aunt Cathy.”

And then.  And then.  I realize I’ve gotten a voicemail from Aunt Cathy!

And so, out of curiosity I listen to it and it turns out to be the CUTEST VOICEMAIL EVER.

“Hey Don, this is Aunt Cathy. I was trying to send you something by text.  It’s a post of a picture of a little kitty cat!  So don’t ‘unsub’– ‘unsubscribe’ me? Let me send you things! I like sending you things. Anyway, it was just me! Save my number.  Bye bye!”

And I’m immediately like, oh no I tried to unsubscribe from Don’s Aunt Cathy! D:

And I feel really bad.

So I sent her a picture of my kitty cat to apologize.

And she told me he was very cute. :)