i know it's the bane of your existence but my (hateful) fav post of yours is you saying women should be able to identify things that aren't okay with them in their relationships and act upon it in a way that benefits them (dumping someone that doesn't suit them for whatever reason), and then everyone saying "no, impossible."
tbh that post has caused me so much misery because even people who agree “in spirit” still find way to explain that women should 1) find [a better man] to be with 2) tolerate behaviors that bother them [leave it’s abuse but stay if it’s just annoying! :)] 3) give at least one chance
that list was shot from the hip, inspired by my own relationships. Sure some are abuse, abusive, signs of abuse, but all??? Your boyfriend not liking your favorite sweater isn’t abuse, but fuck it dump him anyway.
Women are expected to be available for love on men’s terms and it’s so engrained for us that even kind hearted people going “watch out for these signs of abuse!!! You deserve better!!!” depress the hell out of me. Actually, you don’t need better. You don’t need anything. And you don’t have to stick around.
Sure, disappearing in the night without an explanation is pretty shitty, but there are 4000 ways to end a relationship. It can be ten years or ten days, it can because he hit your or because you just want to be single again.
that post was meant to say “hey actually, yeah that little voice in your head saying you want to dump your boyfriend, here’s some confirmation that you can tooooootally dump your boyfriend” and 99% of the comments positive or negative continue to say “NOPE!!! :)”