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Going out

Jungkook: MAN last night was crazy!

Seokjin: *suspiciously* how so?

Taehyung: me and kookie went out for the night and it was WILD

Namjoon: where did you go?

Taehyung: we went to a club and did some insane stuff.

Hoseok: like what?

Jungkook: well we danced, and we bought some pizza, went surfing for a while and threw snowballs at people.

Yoongi: for the last time you two, leaving the house and playing club penguin on your laptop on the bench outside all night is not considered going out.

[Eddie bets Richie can’t go a day without making jokes]

Eddie: When I grow up, I wonder what kind of girl would want to marry me. 

[Richie bites pillow to avoid making a joke] 

Eddie: After I take a shower, my mom makes me sign a piece of paper promising that I shampooed twice. 

[Richie throws herself on the floor, pounding his fists and kicking his legs]

Mike: [walks in] Should I call an ambulance? 

Mornings at the Manor…

Duke: *nervously looks over his shoulder at Bruce pulling a sneering Damian by the scruff of the neck, Dick restraining a furious Tim via bear hug, Alfred telling Jason to get down from the counter, Cass ushering the family pets to safety, and the refrigerator on fire*

Duke: *sips chocolate milk, then looks straight into the Snapchat camera*

Duke: Jason attacked the counter with a fire axe and is still only the second craziest person in the kitchen.

  • psychic on an alien planet: i see a man in your life. you're going to spend the rest of your life with this man.
  • lance: *is excited* okay, okay, tell me more.
  • psychic: his name starts with a "k". like, keith. yes, keith. the two of you will definitely spend the rest of your lives together.
  • lance: *lance.exe has stopped working*
  • hunk: *is dying of laughter in the background*
  • psychic: *oblivious* do you know anyone named keith?
  • lance: *looks ready to cry* no...