it was incorrect

  • Jimin: I like your pants.
  • Taehyung: Thanks! They were 50% off.
  • Jimin: I'd like them better if they were 100% off.
  • Taehyung: The store can't just give away things for free.
  • Jimin: No-
  • Taehyung: That's a terrible way to run a business, Jimin.
  • Soldier 76: You got yourself a coffee?
  • Tracer: Yeah. Double espresso.
  • Soldier 76: A double espresso?
  • Tracer: Well, you’re one who’s telling me to like, try new things all the time.
  • Soldier 76 : Yeah but I meant vegetables and stuff, not stimulants, you’ve never had caffeine before, I-
  • Tracer: Don’t get in a state. I only drank half of it.
  • Soldier 76: Oh. Okay.
  • Tracer: Junkrat drank the other half.
  • Soldier 76:
  • Soldier 76: You let Junkrat drink a double espresso??
  • Junkrat: It tasted horrible to begin with, but then I added five spoonfuls of sugar and now I feel all zingy zangy zongy!
  • Soldier 76: Zingy. Zangy. Zongy.
  • Junkrat: I feel like lightning!
  • Soldier 76: Oh my god.
  • submitted by anon
  • Peter: I have a date, too.
  • Wade: Who? What's their name?
  • Peter: Their name is not important. What's important is that they're better than you in every conceivable way.
  • Wade: Damn, Peter, that could be anyone!
  • Genji: The point is, I’m going to get filthy fucking rich from turning you assholes in. So, fuck you.
  • Mercy: *Flips the bird*
  • Genji: And fuck you!
  • Hanzo: *Flips the bird*
  • Genji: And fuck you!
  • McCree: *Flips the bird with passion*
  • Genji: And fuck all of you!
  • D.Va: Hey, why don’t you go suck a dick?
  • Genji: Why don’t you suck TWO dicks?
  • D.Va: No you, but FIVE DICKS!
  • Genji: You’re sucking eight dicks from every direction, JUST LIKE AN OMNI-DIRECTIONAL DICK SUCK FEST!
  • Soldier 76: Okay, we get it! Can we stop trying to one up each other on the dick sucking quotas? Why don’t we all just agree as adults that we all suck a lot of dick… and we love it!
  • *Murmurs of agreement*
  • Mercy: I like the taste…
  • Lucio: I’ll suck them…
  • Genji: Yeah, okay… I like it… obviously.
  • submitted by mekastardva
100% real. happened.

Lance: Do you think the reason the Galra Empire wants us dead is because they’re so unhappy? Like shit give them a kid cuisine.

Keith: Give them the chicken nuggs one. Damn.