it was all supposed to be temporary

Underrated 4E-Original D&D Monsters!

While Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition had many flaws when it came to integrating narrative and gameplay; on some pretty fundamental levels; one advantage of the system was that the simplified monster-creation allowed for a dickton of really interesting brand-new monsters to appear in a small space.

Sadly, due to both a lack of art for many of them and a fundamentally fluff-lite narrative approach for most of its run, almost nobody remembers them.

And that’s what we’re here to talk about today, with the name, a brief description, and the book they come from! So, in no particular order:

Banderhobbs- A horrible vore-frog that lives in the plane of Shadows. They take people away to work in their horrible shadow-mines until they turn into more Banderhobbs! [Monster Manual 3, tho they did come back in 5e’s Volo’s Guide]

Dreambreath Dracoliches- Dragon liches who root their immortality in the plane of Dreams and generally look like something that should be painted on the side of a van [Draconomicon: Chromatics]

Star Spawn- Horrible eldritch monster-avatars of the Stars, summoned by a giant planet that got fucked up by spending too long in the Cthulhu-dimension passing in front of them. They have stats so you can fight the giant planet. [Monster Manuals 2 & 3]

Filth Hags- A type of hag who always comes accompanied by a son she made out of poop. Yes I know they just give it as nonspecific “filth,” but we all know it’s poop [The Book of Vile Darkness. Yes there was a 4e version.]

Accipitridae- A centipede-thing made of grave-dirt and bone, part of a series of undead monsters created from grave-detritus known as Dethritus. There is also the Offalian who is a snake-thing made out of guts. [Open Grave]

Voracia- A giant starfish that eats fairies. Made as one of the edition’s Abominations; giant living weapons designed to fight in the war between the Gods and the jotun-like elemental Primordials. [The Plane Above]

Astral Renders- Another abomination, this giant silver/gold blob monster that doesn’t just eat flesh, but also the barriers between dimensions. To teleport.  [The Plane Above]

Bonewretch Skeletons- Literal dead-baby skeletons [Open Grave]

Orium Dragons- Metallic dragons obsessed with ancient civilizations, their history and lore, and with an obsession with bringing said ancient civilizations back. They breathe acid which turns into snake-vapor monsters. Which then stay around to keep attacking you. [Draconomicon: Metallic Dragons]

Apocalypse Spells- The remnants of apocalyptically deadly/powerful spells that have gained sentience, like shards of the chains of a trapped god or colorless fire from a massive war-ending spell [Monster Manual 3]

Larval Snipers/Larval Assassins/Larval Warmasters- Variants on the basic worm-that-walks monster including snipers made of wasps, assassins made of centipedes, and warlords made of beetles [Open Grave]

Chillfire Destroyers- 4e had this thing where they condensed the Elemental Planes into one big Elemental Chaos, and one of the byproducts of that was that all the elementals (at least at first) were combinations of elements. The Chillfire Destroyer; which is literally an elemental made of ice with fire inside; was one of the cooler; more iconic (In my eyes at least) manifestations of the idea. [Monster Manual 2]

Dragonscale Sloughs- Piles of dead skin and shed scales from dragons that’ve come to undead life. The dragon doesn’t even have to be dead for it to happen, as it mentions they tend to form naturally in the lairs of elder dragons [Open Grave]

Consumptive Swarm- A “demon” that’s actually a swarm of Slaad/chaos-frog larvae mutated into demons by the energy from shard of evil that formed The Abyss (Basically Chaotic Evil Hell). There’s also versions for Efreet and Djinn and a weird thing called a Writhing Crag supposedly made from Ropers and Xorn with a great design and the ability to embed you in stone. [The Plane Below]

Unrisen- People who came back very, very wrong after a Raise Dead spell. You know Pet Sematery? It’s basically Pet Sematery. [Open Grave]

Swarmtongue Worms- While the old gold-coin-mimicking Hoard Scarab came back, they also added another parasite for draconic hordes, grotesque stomachlike wormy-tongued parasites the size of a dwarf. They come in multi-headed versions called Swarmtongue Hydras and are implied to be either relatives of Carrion Crawlers or the result of what happens when the parasites feeding on a dead dragon’s body get bathed in energy from the Cthulhu dimension [Draconomicon: Chromatic]

Dragonclaw Swarms- An “advanced” version of the Crawling Claw enemy that is literally hundreds of severed dragon feet coming to attack you. D&D is silly sometimes [Open Grave]

Quom- Bald-headed two-faced people who were pretty chill until their goddess got exploded by the God/Primordial war. Now they’re searching for all the shards of their Goddess, which is a problem given how many of those have wormed their way into magic weapons or sometimes even people. [The PlaneAbove]

Flesh Cults- One of the coolest new ideas that got only one entry, they’re basically a cult not dedicated to immortality like most undead cults but rather to ˆephemerality, being in the here and the now and that everything ends eventually, with their rituals giving themselves regeneration that makes too much flesh, with it being described as a “perpetual cascade of flesh and organs,” which they then use as weapons and reanimate as temporary quickly-decaying undead servants. Because waste not want not I suppose [Open Grave]

Oubliviae- A new demon lord who looks bland at first, basically a pretty lady with an HR Geiger-armor-body, but her backstory is fascinating. Basically she is the lord of the end of all civilizations; with her layer made from a platonic “perfect” city that she ruined to turn into a reflection of the ruins of every civilization there ever was or will be; and she’s implied to come directly from the Shard of Evil at the heart of the Abyss rather than just being mutated Primordials/other creatures like the rest of the Demon Lords [Demonomicon]

Solkara- One of the few Primordials statted up that isn’t an Elder Elemental Evil with a new coat of paint, she’s suitably honked-up looking; given she’s a humanoid eel-monster with amongst other things three arms attached to two torsos connected at the shoulder and hips, which have two necks that connect to a singular four-eyestalked head. She’s stuck in an iceberg and really, really wants out. [The Plane Below]

This probably isn’t near all of them, so if I missed some, please tell me!

Man I ‘d love to see @bogleech do an article on some of these…

How 10 minutes resulted in a $1,000 loss...

First-time poster, TL/DR at bottom as it’s a long post.

About 6 years back, I was on my way to my parents one night (who live in another state), and I stop at a bridal store in my state to order my bridesmaid’s dress. I’m wearing a pair of old jeans, and I didn’t pack any others because my intent was to take my mother out shopping the next morning, and I was going to pick up a few pairs of jeans then. Specifically I was going to go that chain store with another name for blue in the title, as they were having a sale on their jeans for $20.

I’m getting dressed after my fitting, and because I’m an unbalanced idiot, I step on the right pants leg while trying pull the jeans up, and make what was a small rip into a big one. A huge “from the top of the back right pocket to back of knee” rip. Yeah, not embarrassing at all. Thank goodness I was wearing decent underwear.

But wait…chain store has a location few doors down (this is one of those outside plaza kind of places), and I still have 15 minutes before they close.

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Title: meant to be something
Summary: Fate brought them together again in the form of conjoined apartments.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.
Prompt: Something More
Rating: T or T+ (just for that little nsfwish smidge in there)
A/N: So some time ago my friend @mika213 brought this sort of situation up for when Sasuke would come back from his road of redemption… and this prompt just immediately reminded me of it. Could you imagine??

ALSO I KNOW IM LATE BUT SHHHHHHHHHHH. 


“S-Sasuke-kun? What are you doing here?”

Blinking, Sasuke’s hand fell from the doorknob he’d only just reached for, turning to his side to meet the unexpected sight of his long-time pink haired teammate—whom he hadn’t really gotten the chance to see much of since she’d welcomed him back from his two-year journey a few days prior. His brows furrowed lightly.

“…I live here.”

Sakura’s mouth parted at this, eyes snapping wide open. “What, really?” she exclaimed, brows shooting up high. “Since when?”

“Four days ago,” he replies without much delay, frowning all the while. Then, he blinked again, understanding finally dawning on him. “You live here too?”

A slight blush tainted her cheeks at that. “Yeah,” Sakura replied, moving to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. She smiled at him, bright, though a little shy. “I’ve been here for the past three years. And I guess I’m… also your new neighbor, apparently.”

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people who clean toilets deserve to make a living.

people who flip burgers deserve to make a living.

people who wait tables deserve to make a living.

people who drive cabs deserve to make a living.

people who sweet streets deserve to make a living.

people who lay bricks deserve to make a living.

people who pick fruits and vegetables deserve to make a living.

people who deliver packages deserve to make a living.

people who pick up garbage deserve to make a living.

the idea that minimum-wage jobs are supposed to be “temporary jobs” or “stepping stones” on your way to a “real living” is false. many people will hold these jobs their entire lives. many people will never be able to do anything else. they are all NECESSARY jobs, jobs that need to be done. just because a job is “low skill” does not mean that the person who performs the job deserves to be paid a pittance.

we deserve more than scraps.

The Labyrinth Chapter 38

Originally posted by bts-we-are-bulletproof

Genre: Gang AU/ High School AU

Pairing: Reader/Jimin ft. all the members

Length: 4.7k

Summary: Looking back on your past, your life has never been anything out of the ordinary. Although your parents had left you on one mysterious night, leaving you little to no explanations, you live out the rest of your years residing in a new town under the custody of your aunt. That is, until you return to your hometown to investigate the whereabouts of your parents during your senior year in high school. It was that fateful decision that led you to find a boy collapsed on your front porch one night, wounds gaping and life fading when your entire life is spun out of control. Somehow being dragged into a life of crimes in the underground business of his, you discover the twisted secrets hidden behind the world you thought you had known all along. 

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39

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Dear What If,
358 days later, it still aches me to write this, but here’s a letter, or something of the sort, listing down the reasons my heart still hurts at the mention of your name. I’m confused by the ambivalence of my feelings; I’m torn between hating you and missing you. It breaks my heart to see not even a trace of sadness in your deep brown eyes, to see you smiling that carefree goofy half-smile I never saw enough of. I suppose it’s your newfound freedom that triggers the carefree expression upon your beautifully sculpted face. Getting over you is a hopeless crusade I’ve been on for the past year, because without the all too familiar gut-wrenching heartache, I’m empty on the side. I gave you the power to make me feel whole, complete, and now I’m devoid of that feeling altogether. I knew your feelings for me were a temporary high, and now I’m hungover in the worst way possible. I’ve built up my walls, and they stand tall and painted blue. It’s impossible to get across, but you seem to have the power to knock them down by uttering just a single word, and I feel as vulnerable as I did that night. I’d still like to believe that there’s hope for us to rebuild the bridges that we lit on fire and burnt to ashes. I don’t want to be rid of the memories, of you, and I don’t want to hate you. Im still yours for the taking, and the verdict still stands.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1249
Imagine Your OTP

Flower Shop Edition

-Person A decides they are finally going to get their crush (Person B) a bouquet of flowers and confess, but when they come to the flower shop they find to their horror that Person B is the one working there -Bonus- (Person A is so flustered that they go through with it) and Person B is heart-broken when Person A tells them that they are looking for an arrangement for their crush. The next day they are shocked when person A enters the shop with the bouquet and silently hands it to them.

-Person A applies for a temporary job at a nearby flower shop where they meet their employer, Person B. After a month or so Person B asks how their job hunting is going and Person A gets really flustered and says it’s going great because they don’t want to admit that they’ve fallen for Person B and have stopped looking all together. But seriously how are they supposed to look for another job when Person B keeps singing softly while they work and smiling and wishing everyone a good morning I mean?? And who would protect this cinnamon roll that names all their plants and cries whenever their favorite gets sold????

-Person A is working a shift at the flower shop when Person B (a customer) suddenly starts having a massive allergic reaction to one of the flowers and passes out. Person A jumps to the rescue and tries to help Person B. When Person B wakes up (a bit delirious) they ask if they are dead and if Person A’s their angel.

-Person A and Person B are rivals both trying to get the same promotion in a flower shop, and they somehow manage to turn everything into a competition. “You think you are better at keeping plants alive?? We’ll see about that,” “oh you think you’re better at arrangements? Oooho just wait and see” “I hear you talking smack about your knowledge of the flower language you wanna go??” “I bet I can do WAY better at customer service that you ever could,” “you think you’re so romantic huh?? Prove it and take me out on a date (wait I mean-uh-yeah I guess that’s what I meant)”

-Everything is a normal day for Person A when Person B suddenly comes in sobbing and crying and trying to ask for a couple of flowers for a relative who just passed away but instead they get a really warm hug from Person A and a free arrangement

-Person B is starting to get a little freaked out by Person A who shows up every day to buy another venus fly trap and eventually Person B just flat out asks why because I mean what do you even do with all of them?? Are you trying to make a giant army of flesh eating plants or what??

-Person A buys a bouquet of roses every day and Person B starts getting really jealous. I mean, what kind of partner deserves someone as gorgeous as Person A?? Person B follows them home one day but instead of bringing them to a partner they carry the roses to a graveyard.  

-Person A shows up everyday to Person B’s flower shop just to make a plant pun, and at first Person B wanted to throw Person A out the window but now it’s actually kinda cute and it really brightens up their day

-Person A is a regular at Person B’s flower shop and Person A always asks for advice on what kind of flowers to get for their relatives and Person B (who is totally in love) tries to subtly express their feelings through flower language, but Person A is totally oblivious. Luckily, Person A’s friends are not.

-Person A and Person B are married, and on their anniversary every year Person A sends Person B a bouquet of flowers with a cute message. One day Person A dies, and Person B is absolutely devastated. When their anniversary arrives, Person B is shocked to see one of the employees at the local flower shop dropping off a bouquet. When Person B asks them what they are doing, the employee explains that Person A paid for years and years in advance. Person B can barely keep from crying when they read Person A’s message that says “My love for you is eternal”.

Let’s have some more Beyond love. Especially these two. 

It’s been a LONG night. Spock has only just come round and what are the odds McCoy’s spent all night awake, fretting over Spock and the crew and Jim, and how the hell he’s supposed to help anyone without any kit. And the fact that they might get found. But, mostly how seriously he knows Spock is hurt because he saw where the injury was and he knows his fix was temporary, so he’s on borrowed time. 
But hey, as soon as Spock shows some degree of consciousness, McCoy is just exhausted and it shows as he lets his head slump for a few seconds. He might want to get some sleep but it ain’t going to happen. He knows it, we know it. 
Spock knows nothing because he’s in his own little world of angst and pain. 

And Spock, now he’s awake, he wants to talk. He’s got things on his mind. Things he probably worries he might not ever get to say to the people he wants to say them too. 

First Uhura. 

He wants to help his people and it clearly weighs heavily on his mind that he is doing what *he* wants to do, not carrying out his duty as a Vulcan, by remaining in Starfleet. He feels guilty and has clearly talked to Uhura about what he feels like he *should* do. 

But understandably, whether intended or not, his plan to go and reproduce baby Vulcans doesn’t make her happy and it strains their relationship. And Spock wants to tell McCoy about it. 

But it’s clear, from what he told McCoy that he was going to try and sort things out with her, one way or another before he hears about Ambassador Spock. 

And when Spock says that he received some news, McCoy’s looking at him all like ^^^^^

Before Spock tells him that Ambassador Spock has died. And McCoy, even though (as far as we know) he’s not someone that Mccoy’s ever met, but he obviously knows about him and although the impact on McCoy is minimal (even if he knows and met him, he can’t have sparked up a deep friendship with him in a short space of time), he’s genuinely so affected by the news because of how it will affect Spock. 

And he even says as much that he can’t imagine how Spock must feel. He understands that he can’t just say ‘I know how you feel’, no cliche, he *can’t* understand how Spock feels. He acknowledges that Spock feels and feels deeply.

And then Spock drops the bombshell about wanting to follow in the Ambassador’s footsteps and is considering leaving Starfleet and McCoy is like :O

And Spock seems kinda caught off guard by his genuine response to his wanting to leave. And has to do this >>>>>

Oh no, Mccoy thinks, I’m caring too much! So he asks about how Jim took the news and Spock confesses he hadn’t found the time to tell him. And McCoy starts to ramble about how Jim won’t like is if he goes, while Spock is fighting off losing consciousness….

And McCoy, being who he is, just has to act like he always does and cracks a joke. Of course *he* doesn’t care if you leave, Spock. Party in SickBay!!!!

And it works. He gets a damn emotion from the computer!

He always knew he was capable of emotions, dammit!

No! Too much! I broke the computer!!!!!

Angels on Earth

Angels who are adrenaline junkies, chasing danger just hoping it will make them feel alive, feel infinite again. Angels who don’t care about the pain or injuries their adventures may bring; it only helps them feel more like themselves.

Angels who smoke, drink, do drugs, because hey, this body is temporary and wasn’t mine in the first place so what does it matter?

Angels who go out in the desert on clear nights looking for the strange lights in the sky, who go off in the woods looking for cryptids, trying to find something else that isn’t supposed to exist so they feel less alone.

Angels who break any and all laws they find useless, shaking their heads at the petty rules and restrictions placed on humans and at those who form the governments, pathetic humans who somehow find themselves fit to be placed above the rest. Angels who are rebels on earth as well as in heaven, impatiently awaiting the nearest revolution.

Angels who spill the truth about themselves to whoever will listen after one too many drinks or one too many nights stuck inside their own head, who know how delusional they sound but can’t bring themselves to care anymore.

Angels who’ve expertly mastered playing the part of the human they’re wearing, sometimes feeling bad that they’ve deceived so many of their vessel’s loved ones who don’t know that their child, their sibling, their friend, is long gone and replaced by some unfathomable consciousness.



Angels who stay armed at all times, whether it be switchblades in back pockets or revolvers under mattresses. Angels who sleep with a knife on their bedside table just in case their past comes looking for them. Angels who feel naked without a weapon.



Angels with little to no empathy who’ve learned how to portray emotions and reactions as well as anyone who feels, who can almost understand the feelings on a logical and mental level but not entirely. Angels who form attachments with the mind, because they can’t with their heart.

Angels who are a far cry from the selfless beings humans write them off as, who don’t care what happens to humanity, save perhaps for a handful of humans. Angels who only truly care about one or two people, but would level empires for them.

Angels who abandon their charges because they’re beyond help at this point, because they’re uncooperative, because they piss their angel off one too many times.

Angels who recognize each other on the street, perhaps once friends, lovers, enemies. They don’t speak. Their eyes say everything their mouths don’t.

Angels who don’t want to go back to heaven, who would rather stay trapped in an endless cycle of human lives than return to the corrupt shell of what heaven used to be.

Angels who avoid religious establishments like the plague, because how dare any mundane soul claim to know the doctrines of the divine.

Angels who are depressed, who are sick of the empty feeling in their chest, who don’t know how to feel whole again.

Angels that know that even going back to heaven will never heal old wounds, that nothing with ever be the same after their family was torn apart by the war.

Angels who remember nothing of home or who they were, who have only a feeling of divinity burning in their soul as their guiding compass.

Angels who remember too much, who feel it eating away at them every moment of every day, who think their lives would be easier if they could just forget. Angels who resent the knowledge of who and what they are, but know they’d be lost without it.

Angels who were made to destroy instead of create, who lament that humans can’t see that destruction can be just as beautiful and pure and raw as creation.

Angels who don’t remember God, who never knew Him, who don’t care to. Angels who know they wouldn’t get along.

How 10 minutes resulted in a $1,000 loss...

First-time poster, TL/DR at bottom as it’s a long post.

About 6 years back, I was on my way to my parents one night (who live in another state), and I stop at a bridal store in my state to order my bridesmaid’s dress.   I’m wearing a pair of old jeans, and I didn’t pack any others because my intent was to take my mother out shopping the next morning, and I was going to pick up a few pairs of jeans then.   Specifically I was going to go that chain store with another name for blue in the title, as they were having a sale on their jeans for $20.  

I’m getting dressed after my fitting, and because I’m an unbalanced idiot, I step on the right pants leg while trying pull the jeans up, and make what was a small rip into a big one.  A huge “from the top of the back right pocket to back of knee” rip.   Yeah, not embarrassing at all.   Thank goodness I was wearing decent underwear.

But wait…chain store has a location few doors down (this is one of those outside plaza kind of places), and I still have 15 minutes before they close.  

I hurry down (as much as my trying to keep my pants closed with one hand walk will let me) and reach the door.  Locked.   I try all the doors… all locked.  Look at the sign, it says they close at 9pm, but it’s 8:50.   Yeah, I know it sucks to get last minute customers, but I’m just gonna be in and out for a pair of jeans, and I’m happy to tell the workers that…if they come to the door.  But they won’t.  They just look at me.

I call the store (seriously don’t want to have to drive 3 hours in ripped jeans, and I know I’m going to have to stop for gas at one point, where I’m sure I’ll be positioned just right for the security camera to catch a view of my ass, and OMG could you please just open the door!!!) and the hours are definitely 9am - 9pm.  No sign saying they were closing early for a meeting or anything like that.  Nope, the workers just decided to close early.

Now I’m pissed off…it’s February, it’s cold, I gotta 3 hour drive, and I just wanted a pair of jeans.

Get to my parents house, my mother is like, only you, and loans me a pair of pants to wear for the next day.

Go out shopping the next morning, get to the chain store that’s near my parents’ home, and a thought occurs to me.  I remember I used to buy clothes at this outlet store which I was two hours away, but if I wanted to return or exchange it, I could go to a local store.   One day, I was making a return and the local store clerk was frustrated…she mentioned that she hated the outlet for always telling people they could return at a local store, because people would spend gobs of money, then realize they overspent, and would make their returns at the local store…so the outlet sales numbers looked great, but the local stores’ sales / return numbers would look bad because they were taking in all of these outlet clothes on returns.  

Ohhh, yeah!

I go into chain store location with my Mom, and confirm that yes, I could return chain store purchases at any location.  And yes, they would have to pay me back the sales tax that I paid, not the local sales tax (my parents’ state sales tax was a full 1.2% higher than local store’s sales tax - tee hee)!

The poor sales clerk just KNOWS I’m about to return something to her from another state.   Instead, I smile sweetly and hand her 51 pairs of jeans.   I took all different sizes so I wouldn’t completely wipe them out of a particular size, hey, it wasn’t their fault.   1 pair for me, and 50 pairs for later.   I assure her I will not be returning these to her store, and I thank her for her time.  If I’d had the money, I would have bought more, but I only had enough temporary spare money to cover the 50 pairs.

Get back to my local store in my state the next day.  Confirm again that they were supposed to be open until 9pm on that fateful evening, and that means they are supposed to let you in the store as long as you walk in by 9pm.  

Then I tell them I have a return.  Nope, no need to exchange, I just need my money back.  Here is my ID, my receipt, and my debit card.   Please process this almost $1100 in return, and I’m happy to wait.   Manager wants to know if there is a problem with the jeans, and I say nope, just wanted to inconvenience the store that decided it wanted to close early.  Oh you need to inspect all the jeans…no problem, take your time, I brought a book with me.  

So so so very petty, and because the jean sale had ended, and it was a Sunday, they weren’t as busy as they normally were…I know that I made an impact on their bottom line for that day.   Wish I could have bought and returned 500 pairs of jeans, but oh well.  I satisfied myself with that moment of pettiness.

TL/DR: Store closed early, so I returned a bunch of items to screw with their profit/loss for the day.

utopia // stiles stilinski

Summary: Stiles & Y/N escape their perfect city of Utopia only to face the dangers of the supernatural

Requested: no, but @sincerelystiles gave me the motivation to post this & @stilinski-jpeg was beyond supportive with this idea

Pairing: Stiles & Y/N

Warning: yes, mature language, themes & smut throughout

Masterlist

By definition, it was suppose to be a perfect society but it was far from it. The concrete walls acted as a prison and the citizens were it’s inmates. It was originally suppose to be a temporary solution to the growing outbreak of the supernatural. That was 5 years ago. It was a now permanent solution as two races competed for world domination.

Each citizen was stripped of their individuality, each given a similar set of clothes and a number to replace their name. Women had to wear their hair tied back in a bun while men had to keep their hair free of any unnatural product. They were all served the same meal everyday and no matter what job they did for the colony, they all received the same amount of pay. There was absolutely no way to strive in the Utopia, making it a perfect society in the sense that everyone was equal.

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5, 6, Grab Your Crucifix

Characters/Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader, little bit of OMC Glen x Reader

Word Count: 6676 (side-eyes myself)

Warnings: OK, here goes…language, drinking, possessiveness, violence, biting, rough sex, marking/claiming sex, non-con voyeurism, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex (pretend there’s a pill or something of that sort in use)…If I missed something, let me know

A/N: Alright, well, here is my late submission for @roxy-davenport‘s birthday writing challenge. I had the prompts: Demon!Dean, Claiming sex, Nightmare on Elm Street, and the quote “Aren’t you precious?” I had a lot of fun with this one, and went more for the dickish Demon!Dean than evil. Much love and thanks to @kayteonline and @ilsawasanacrobat for the beta work and read-throughs and encouragement! You both rock!!

Hope you enjoy it. Please note the warnings. Feedback and constructive criticism are amazing things, please give them to me.

Originally posted by zest-wincest


Year after year, the reason changed, and at first, you meant it. Bartending was supposed to be temporary. Just something to fill your free nights and get some extra cash in your pocket. Now, though, if you were honest, you kept at it because you really enjoyed it. All of it - the fast pace, the free entertainment, and sometimes the company.

Flirting came with the job. The sex? That was where you had to be careful. You didn’t need any overzealous clingy partners hanging around, so you were fairly cautious and discreet, enjoyed more casual flings as they came and went.

Your current FWB, Glen, sat at the end of the bar, out of the way, but close enough that you could still talk and flirt as you worked.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you teased, making up another drink for him.

“Not yet,” he answered with a quick up-down of his eyebrows, making you roll your head back in mock disgust.

“You’re so fucking lame.” You threw a coaster at him and went back to work, flicking off bottle caps and pouring mixers as the bar began to fill. You were scanning the crowd, keeping an eye out for your regulars and anyone looking to flag you down for another drink when you caught sight of him. With that gorgeous face you’d have to struggle to forget, he sat casually at the middle of the bar. He already had a glass in front of him and you wondered how you’d missed him earlier. If you weren’t already warm and flushed from the rush of work, the look he was sending your way would have done it.

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“hoe” tips debunked

i made a post similar to this a while go and i decided to make another one but instead of giving you tips i’ll be telling you which ones to avoid because theey are harmful/work temporarily/don’t work at all

-instagram makeup artists lie. a lot. you don’t need to buy a $70 face mask to have nice skin, and you don’t need to buy a gold elixir to have soft lips. even so, most face masks are temporary and will only make your skin clear for a day or so. 

-drinking pineapple juice before sex doesn’t do anything. it takes days for the fruit to actually settle into your body.

-douching is fucking terrible for your vagina because 1) it only pushes bacteria farther into your vag 2) NOTHING IS SUPPOSED TO GO UP YOUR VAGINA IT WILL CLEAN ITSELF

-anything that smells like perfume is not meant to go on your face. scented products will irritate your skin/make it itchy. go for something unscented/naturally scented with things like aloe vera, etc.

-don’t invest too much time or money into getting rid of acne scars, they usually fade on their own, and products for fading acne scars usually aren’t that pricey. unless in your case you have extremely bad scarring that calls for laser surgery, don’t stress about it. 

-coconut oil is bad. it’s bad for shaving, it’s bad as a moisturizer, it’s not supposed to go on your skin. coconut oil is supposed to go in your hair and ONLY in your hair. keep it off of your skin. 

-on top of that, rubbing coconut oil on your stretchmarks doesn’t work. in fact, none of the “hoe” tips about stretchmarks actually work. if you really want to get rid of them, invest in a good fading cream.

-like i said previously, nothing is supposed to go up your vagina. not water, not perfume, soap, nothing. you can clean your vulva with a scentless soap, but don’t ever put soap up your vag. your vagina was made to clean itself, and putting things up their will tip your ph.

-layering your skin 8 types of different acne medication will not get rid of your acne.

-it doesn’t matter how much pineapples and cranberries you eat. if your diet is trash your vagina won’t taste any different.

-if you have cystic acne the twitter/tumblr skin tips aren’t going to work for you. invest in a good acne medication, see a dermatologist if possible, because i know first hand that drenching yourself in tea tree oil does not work.

-stay away from skin products that have gold in them. gold is actually and irritant and the tightening you feel when you use a gold infused product is your skin reacting to the gold.

-pore strips can be very damaging and literally rip your skin off if you use them to often

-those spinny brushes that every ig makeup artist promotes damage your skin if you use them everyday. you don’t want to exfoliate your face more than once a week or your skin will become extremely sensitive.

-ACNE IS GENETIC. IF YOU HAVE CYSTIC ACNE THE AMOUNT OF WATER YOU DRINK WON’T GIVE YOU CLEAR SKIN. it doesn’t matter if you drink 2 gallons of water every day. acne is genetic and no amount of water will change that. if you really want clear skin, talk to your doctor/dermatologist, or invest in a good face wash and/or acne cream. what works for girls with natural clear skin isn’t going to work for you.

How 10 minutes resulted in a $1,000 loss...

First-time poster, TL/DR at bottom as it’s a long post.

About 6 years back, I was on my way to my parents one night (who live in another state), and I stop at a bridal store in my state to order my bridesmaid’s dress.   I’m wearing a pair of old jeans, and I didn’t pack any others because my intent was to take my mother out shopping the next morning, and I was going to pick up a few pairs of jeans then.   Specifically I was going to go that chain store with another name for blue in the title, as they were having a sale on their jeans for $20.  

I’m getting dressed after my fitting, and because I’m an unbalanced idiot, I step on the right pants leg while trying pull the jeans up, and make what was a small rip into a big one.  A huge “from the top of the back right pocket to back of knee” rip.   Yeah, not embarrassing at all.   Thank goodness I was wearing decent underwear.

But wait…chain store has a location few doors down (this is one of those outside plaza kind of places), and I still have 15 minutes before they close.  

I hurry down (as much as my trying to keep my pants closed with one hand walk will let me) and reach the door.  Locked.   I try all the doors… all locked.  Look at the sign, it says they close at 9pm, but it’s 8:50.   Yeah, I know it sucks to get last minute customers, but I’m just gonna be in and out for a pair of jeans, and I’m happy to tell the workers that…if they come to the door.  But they won’t.  They just look at me.

I call the store (seriously don’t want to have to drive 3 hours in ripped jeans, and I know I’m going to have to stop for gas at one point, where I’m sure I’ll be positioned just right for the security camera to catch a view of my ass, and OMG could you please just open the door!!!) and the hours are definitely 9am - 9pm.  No sign saying they were closing early for a meeting or anything like that.  Nope, the workers just decided to close early.

Now I’m pissed off…it’s February, it’s cold, I gotta 3 hour drive, and I just wanted a pair of jeans.

Get to my parents house, my mother is like, only you, and loans me a pair of pants to wear for the next day.

Go out shopping the next morning, get to the chain store that’s near my parents’ home, and a thought occurs to me.  I remember I used to buy clothes at this outlet store which I was two hours away, but if I wanted to return or exchange it, I could go to a local store.   One day, I was making a return and the local store clerk was frustrated…she mentioned that she hated the outlet for always telling people they could return at a local store, because people would spend gobs of money, then realize they overspent, and would make their returns at the local store…so the outlet sales numbers looked great, but the local stores’ sales / return numbers would look bad because they were taking in all of these outlet clothes on returns.  

Ohhh, yeah!

I go into chain store location with my Mom, and confirm that yes, I could return chain store purchases at any location.  And yes, they would have to pay me back the sales tax that I paid, not the local sales tax (my parents’ state sales tax was a full 1.2% higher than local store’s sales tax - tee hee)!

The poor sales clerk just KNOWS I’m about to return something to her from another state.   Instead, I smile sweetly and hand her 51 pairs of jeans.   I took all different sizes so I wouldn’t completely wipe them out of a particular size, hey, it wasn’t their fault.   1 pair for me, and 50 pairs for later.   I assure her I will not be returning these to her store, and I thank her for her time.  If I’d had the money, I would have bought more, but I only had enough temporary spare money to cover the 50 pairs.

Get back to my local store in my state the next day.  Confirm again that they were supposed to be open until 9pm on that fateful evening, and that means they are supposed to let you in the store as long as you walk in by 9pm.  

Then I tell them I have a return.  Nope, no need to exchange, I just need my money back.  Here is my ID, my receipt, and my debit card.   Please process this almost $1100 in return, and I’m happy to wait.   Manager wants to know if there is a problem with the jeans, and I say nope, just wanted to inconvenience the store that decided it wanted to close early.  Oh you need to inspect all the jeans…no problem, take your time, I brought a book with me.  

So so so very petty, and because the jean sale had ended, and it was a Sunday, they weren’t as busy as they normally were…I know that I made an impact on their bottom line for that day.   Wish I could have bought and returned 500 pairs of jeans, but oh well.  I satisfied myself with that moment of pettiness.

TL/DR: Store closed early, so I returned a bunch of items to screw with their profit/loss for the day.

The Sneering

I worked at a HomeBADS store last winter. The whole place was built in the ruins of an old SNEERS ROEBUTT & Co. department store.

THE INTERVIEW

My boss, Mr. U (officious little prick) trained me in my duties, such as helping customers, opening up and closing, heating different sections of the building, dumping the old boiler, and making sure the elements don’t get a foothold.

He told me that this HomeBADS was built on the ruins of an old SNEERS ROEBUTT & Co. department store, and that when they were opening HomeBADS here, they actually had to repel a few SNEERS employee attacks. He also informed me that my predecessor went crazy a few winters ago and killed his coworkers, then himself. One of my coworkers warned me to stay out of the old swimwear section (or rather what used to be the old swimwear section when this place was still SNEERS), something bad happened there once.

ONE MONTH LATER

As I made my rounds, did my daily routine and duties, the place….seemed to take on a life of its own. I felt like I had been here before, but this was my first time here, as far as I knew. I was walking through the isles on a slow winter day, and saw two twin girls holding hands. They were wearing HomeBADS uniforms, and I said “Oh…I didn’t realize you two worked here.” They grinned at me and said “Come work with us….forever….and ever….and ever!” Then they disappeared.

Wierd.

MONDAY

I was walking about the aisles, when a doe eyed, red haired woman in sneakers, tights, legwarmers, a leotard, an elastic belt, and a sweatband with wrist sweat cuffs was staring blankly ahead at me. “Can I help you, ma'am?” I asked her. “I’m looking for a small trampoline. Where can I find that?” she asked in a sad monotone voice. “Well, we don’t carry…” I replied, but before I could finish, she let out a sad sight and vanished, she liked like dust blowing in a breeze as she faded away. “What the hell…!?” was all I could say.

TUESDAY

A group of kids in bright colored clothes and hairstyles I haven’t seen in over 25 years approached me and asked me where the Nintendo Games were, they asked if we carried the…“Power Pad” and the games for it. I blinked for a second, and they were gone.

WEDNESDAY

“Emily! The war is over! Come, I have a coupon! Let us gather the family, and have our picture taken at the portrait studio!”

A well dressed army officer, in an outdated uniform walked about the store, calling out to someone I couldn’t see.

“The hounds, Emily! The hounds are hungry! The hounds are calling!”

THURSDAY

I walked about the store aisles, grunting, shaking, thrusting my arms. I saw the elevator doors open, and blood pouring out of them ahain, as I had been seeing for a while. Whenever I reported these strange incidents, nobody believed me so I stopped getting concerned. The phantom customers, spooky “coworkers”, and odd occurrences in general became the norm for me.

I went up to an old jewelry counter, and buried my face in my hands, moaning. Then I looked up and I saw Floyd at the counter. “Hello, Floyd! How ya’ doing?”. Floyd smiled at me, and said “Oh I’m just fine, madame. And yourself?”.

“Things could be better, Floyd. Things could be better.” I said. I looked around. “Things are kinds slow around here, huh Floyd?”. “Yes, madame.” I smiled and we talked about the store about things in general. Floyd suggested I try on this beautiful necklace that “just came in”. It was exquisite! I saw it in the small mirror on the counter and I said “I’ll take it!”. I opened my wallet but found no cash.

“Say, Floyd. I seem to be temporary light here. How’s my credit?”. Floyd replied with “No worries, your credit is fine!” All you have to do is kill your coworkers!“.

"Well, I dunno…” I said.

“They’ll be happier as ghosts, just like the customers.” Floyd assured me. “You don’t seem that happy.” I replied. “Oh, what? I’m happy, I’m VERY happy! ‘La-la-la-lalalala! I’m happy!’ Now waste your coworkers, and the necklace is yours!” Floyd replied in an exasperated tone.

FRIDAY

I walked into a section of the store where I wasn’t supposed to go, and I saw swimsuits hanging up. And curtained dressing rooms.

A woman opened the curtain of one of the dressing rooms. She wore a one piece, striped swimsuit from another era. “Does this make me look fat?” she asked me. I took another look and saw a cadaverous woman in that same swimsuit. She walked towards me arms outstretched, and went “BWAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!” I freaked out and ran out of there.

FEBRUARY

I found myself at a typewriter, typing over and over again. I happened to notice that the words on the paper were “COME SEE THE SOFTER SIDE OF SNEERS” over and over again.

Later that day, a man who looked like Al from Home Improvement asked me where he could find the hardware department, and as I was about to tell him we didn’t have a hardware department, this is HomeBADS, he vanished.

I then ran into a man who used to be a manager here at HomeBADS, not long ago. His name was Grody…Dullbert Grody…he told me how his coworkers were upset by this place, and by him…one of them even stole a box of matches, and tried to burn the place down, but he…corrected them. He said I needed to do the same, if I were to be an effective manager.

My coworkers became concerned with my behavior. At one point, I had one of them cornered on the staircase, and she had to knock me out with a baseball bat, drag me to a closet in the breakroom and lock me in there. “You can come out when you’re no longer insane!”.

I ate the snacks and sipped the bottled water stored in there. Someone knocked on the closet door. “This is Mr. Grody, madame. The ghouls and I are concerned with the progress, or rather lack thereof, regarding you and your coworkers. We did give you that lovely necklace, and we would hate to take it back!” Said Mr. Grody. “Can’t talk, eating!” I said with a mouthful of ultra stale Eagle potato chips that had been in that storage room forever. “Oh for God’s sake!” said Mr. Grody. The door opened, and all of the ghost customers and my ghost coworkers, including Floyd and Mr. Grody, pulled me put of the storage closet as I kicked and screamed. They handed me an axe, and Mr. Grody told me to get to work.

I chopped open a door and said “It’s the Caroll Burnett show, brought to you by SNEERS…!” an empty room. “Damn!” I walked off, but not before tugging my ear.

I chopped open another door and sang the opening theme to the Tracy Ullman show. This time I was looking at an empty stairwell. “Damn!”

Finally, I chopped open a door someone had written “REDRUM” on for some reason, and I shouted through the hole “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!” and I gave a devilish grin though the hole. “AHHHHHH!” My coworkers scattered like rabbits. I chased after all of them, limping as I held the axe, my necklace gently swishing about.

I went though what used to be the shoe section of SNEERS, and saw phantom customers sitting on chairs that were no longer there, just floating there, trying on shoes none of them sold here at HomeBADS.

I ran through the old electronics section past phantom kid customers standing in front of store demo game setups that were no longer there, as they help NES controllers that were plugged into nothing.

I ran past the exercise equipment, the doe eyed woman I had first seen now happily bouncing on a small trampoline. “I’ll take it!” she said.

I chased my coworkers all over the store. We ran through the old portrait studio, and almost ruined a phantom family’s photo session with the photographer.

My coworkers escape outside, and I chased them, shouting “I’m coming!” along with indistinguishable howling. I eventually sat in the snow, and I froze solid.

My brother came to get me. “I spoke to your boss. He was really mad about you chopping holes in the doors, and scaring your coworkers like that. He has no idea where you got this axe, but you can’t bring something like that to work. He says you’re fired, and he gave me your last paycheck, to give to you.”

I said nothing.

“You wanna go home, get showered and changed?” he asked me. “NO.” I replied.

“You wanna stay there some more and be frozen?” my brother asked me. “Yes.” I replied.

“You want me to bring you some Carl’s the Third?” he asked me. “Okay.” I replied.

“What do you want from Carl’s the Third?” my brother asked. “3 piece chicken tenders. Small fries, and small Dr. Pepper.” I replied. My brother nodded, put an amazing-on gift card in my shirt pocket, wrapped me in a blanket from his car trunk, kissed me on the forehead, and said “I’ll be right back. Nice necklace, by the way.” I said nothing more than “Thank you.”

A few minutes later, my boss walked up to me with a troubled expression, and showed me an old black and white framed picture that he had found in the building. It had a crowd of grinning people, in period attire, and at the front of the crowd was a woman who looked EXACTLY LIKE ME, but her clothes were different, and she was wearing the same necklace as mine. The caption on the photo just below her in the picture read

“SNEERS ROEBUTT & Co. COMPANY PICNIC, JULY 4TH, 1921”

While You Were Gone

Originally posted by ehghtyseven

Summary: The reader makes a deal to temporarily go to Hell for a week to save Dean. He doesn’t know what to do with himself while she’s gone and starts writing her letters…

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: lanuage

A/N: Written in Dean’s POV….

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10

”- Well, we all know what was happening last Monday and who you were with. So I’m assuming…
- Dad, what the hell was I supposed to say? ‘Hi, that’s Derek Hale but he’s deaged. Because that can happen. Oh, and by the way, Agent McCall, your son is a werewolf?!’

Sterek AU: When Derek gets hit with a temporary deaging curse, the pack does it best to hide this fact. Stiles thinks he did a great job but the “cousin Miguel” thing gets out of hand and soon half of the town thinks Stiles is secretly dating some guy (including “cousin Miguel,” the actual guy that Stiles wants to date).

mooonlightbaeeee-deactivated201  asked:

Aaliyah how can one deal with heartbreak. Dealing with the fact that they are being rejected and abandoned by someone they were once intimate with. How can one become the best version of themselves by learning from the situation instead of dwelling...I'm sure this is where self love kicks in, any advice pls. I love you ✨🌹

I guess everyone deals with things differently, but just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean someone doesn’t love themselves. Life is full of endings, if it has a birth, then ultimately it has a death. We can’t constantly blame ourselves for something that is inherent within nature. If you tried the best you could, then you did what was required of you. All relationships are lessons, that also includes non-romantic relationships. Just because through our limited perceptions it appears that something has failed, doesn’t mean we did. We had the experience, now we must learn from the pain and transform it into wisdom. People’s suffering doesn’t come from the pain itself, but the identification with pain. Things that are temporary, are not supposed to last forever. Everything within this world is temporary.

Never look to something outside of yourself to give life meaning, that’s a recipe for a life of depression and anxiety. Everything that is eternal is internal, it is to be found within. As it is said:
“While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” - 2 Corinthians 4:18
“The wise know that illusion is impermanent and only the eternal is real.” - Bhagavad Gita

People’s issues are always spiritual, they’re never just simply of this illusionary physical world. People have so many problems regarding love because they don’t know what love is. Love to them is with conditions, it fits a criteria, it has to meet their desires, these are all man made concepts. True love is unconditional, universal, qualitative, infinite in depth, has no beginning and has no end. So it’s merely impossible to give love, let alone receive it, if we do not know what love is. Love is our true nature, it’s a divine quality of the soul, for it is an attribute of God. People don’t know love because they don’t know their own soul, they don’t know their own soul because they choose to not know God by remaining in ignorance. “You cannot know the meaning of your life until you are connected to the Spirit that created you!…You have to know your spirit, for without knowing your spirit, you cannot know truth” - Shri Mataji

We have to develop spiritually. Without developing spiritually we’ll just go round and round in circles. The Ego has a new dilemma, there’s always another problem to deal with. We need to go beyond our own self which is ignorance, and surrender to that which is bigger than ourselves. You cannot develop by looking at yourself, only by that which is above you, otherwise there’d be nowhere to rise to. You are surrendering yourself to everything that is good. God is the most infinite form of love, the deepest form of compassion, the brightest light. In God includes all things, nothing exists outside of The Divine. When you love God, you love everything in existence, that includes yourself. God alone suffices.

Desire, revenge, hatred, deception, judgement/gossip, jealousy etc do the soul no good, it poisons us to the point where it quite literally makes us ill. Desire brings forth more desire, a greed that is never satisfied, leaving us with nothing but anxiety. When we take revenge on another, we take revenge on ourselves. Hating another as an act of hating ourselves. Where it appears another has deceived us, we have deceived ourselves. If we’re too busy judging people, we have no time to love them. If we choose to live in jealousy, how can we enjoy and receive the blessings of life. All of this has a solution…Forgiveness. A loving compassionate heart knows forgiveness well, forgiveness heals all wounds, it allows us to let go of the pain and stops us from creating more. Forgiveness is truly the greatest strength and only those that choose to be strong forgive.

The secret to healing from all things is forgiveness. You tried your best, you did what was required of you, now it’s time to heal and let it go. “The pain will leave, once it has finished teaching you” the lesson is always forgiveness. Forgiveness is only born from a heart filled with love and compassion. Love and compassion is the end to all suffering, the true purpose of life.

In our moment of helplessness, we realise how powerless the mind ultimately is. It is in these moments that all we have left is humility, we are humble enough to admit that we don’t have the answers and we need help. Divine intervention. This is what surrender is, it is allowing ourselves to be helped, to be empowered, to be truly loved. I guess my ultimate answer is: don’t ask me what to do, another being like yourself, but ask God. God knows you intimately and more profoundly then you could ever know. God knows how to love you, so just surrender and allow yourself to be loved!

I love you, God bless! May you be healed and empowered, guided along the right path towards the everlasting light✨😊🌹❤

Part 1 - Down the Voltage Rabbit Hole

Lately it seems that everything I write ends up never seeing the light of day so I wanted to write something fun, that might actually get read. If you guys like it I’ll continue the story. 

Let me know what you think!


I woke up, eyes bleary, head pounding in a hospital bed I’d never been in, but could have sworn I’d seen before. As I rubbed my eyes, I racked my brain to try and remember how I’d gotten here, but could only come up with fragmented moments on the subway platform. It was a fair assumption to say that I’d passed out. Something like that had happened to me once before, and upon coming to had left me feeling very similar.

“It’s good to see you’re up.”

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