it was aching so much i love you so much

I’ve never read a book that treated its characters with more tenderness, generosity, and sympathy than Benjamin Sáenz’s Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. Even when the characters don’t think they deserve it, especially when the characters don’t think they deserve it, the narrative holds out cupped hands full of love and patiently waits for them to take it. It makes my heart ache so much; it’s a book that genuinely makes me aspire to be a kinder person.

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’
‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’
‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’
‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’
‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’
‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’
‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’
‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’
‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’
‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’
‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’
‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’
‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’
‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’
‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’
‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’
‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’
‘  i am fucking divine.  ’
‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’
‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’
‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’
‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’
‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’
‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’
‘  i bow to no man.  ’
‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’
‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’
‘  i cannot be saved.  ’
‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’
‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’
‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’
‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’
‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’
‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’
‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’
‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’
‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’
‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’
‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’
‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’
‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’
‘  i have no home anymore.  ’
‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’
‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’
‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’
‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’
‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’
‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’
‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’
‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’
‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’
‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’
‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’
‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’
‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’
‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’
‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’
‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’
‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’
‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’
‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’
‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’
‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’
‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’
‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’
‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’
‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’
‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’
‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’
‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’
‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’
‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’
‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’
‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’
‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’
‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’
‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’
‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’
‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’
‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’
‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’
‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’
‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’
‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’
‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’
‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’
‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’
‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’
‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’
‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’
‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’
‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’
‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’
‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’
‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

LITERALLY JUST IMAGINE FUCKING TEDDY LUPIN DECKED OUT IN HIS HUFFLEPUFF ROBES WITH THE HEAD BOY BADGE ON IT WITH HIS HOT BLUE HAIR AND THIS BIG BOY SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SMIRK AND SMILE AS HE CROSSES HIS ARMS AND WATCHES LITTLE ELEVEN YEAR OLD JAMES SIRIUS POTTER BRAVELY WALK TO THE HAT AND SIT DOWN AND HEARING THE VOICE RING OUT GRYFFINDOR. AND TEDDY POUTS AND GOES ‘DAMN’ BUT HE WATCHES PROUDLY AS HIS YOUNGER FREAKIN BROTHER RELATED OR NOT WALKS TO THE GRYFFINDOR TABLE AND SITS DOWN WITH AN AWE FILLED FACE. AND HE WHIRLS AROUND TO WAVE FRANTICALLY AT TEDDY AND TEDDY GRINS AND WAVES BACK AND STICKS HIM A THUMBS UP BECAUSE ‘GOOD JOB, JAMES. MUM AND DAD’LL BE PROUD.’

anonymous asked:

hello ! if it isn't too much trouble, could you compile a list of your absolute top 5 fics ? (that you've read so far) thank you !!!

Hey, friend! Thanks so much for this request! Disclaimer: THIS WAS SO HARD TO DO BECAUSE I LOVE SO MANY FICS! But if I have to narrow it down to just *gasps* 5 fics, then here they are! These aren’t in any particular order!

Originally posted by sairenji


My Top 5 Victuuri Fics (So far!)


Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya, 147k (WIP)
Rivals AU where Yuuri’s main goal, ever since he was a child, is to beat Victor and win the GPF. SO MUCH ANGST (like, so much) and deliciously hot, hot, hot! You might die from reading this… it’s that good. This is SO GOOD! Seriously, it’s better than most published novels I’ve read!!! I AM 1000000% TOO OBSESSED BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE IT’S SO AMAZINGSFLA

ebony & ivory by wbtrashking (fan_nerd), Explicit, 20k
A little longer than your average one shot, but OH MY GOD THIS FIC IS AMAZING. Yuuri, a pianist, moves into a new apartment complex to play with the ASO. Not long after he starts practicing, he starts getting requests from his mysterious upstairs neighbour. THIS FIC CLEARED MY SKIN AND SAVED MY SOUL IT’S SO SO AMAZING

The Fundamentals of Caring by braveten, Explicit, 20k
One of my favourite hurt/comfort fics! Yuuri comes down with a nasty cold and Victor tries to take care of him the best that he can. Full of hilariously delusional Yuuri, caring Victor, and ALL THE FLUFF! So cute, definitely recommend! LOOOOOVE!!!

Amateur or Expert? by Watermelonsmellinfellon, Teen, 1.9k
AU where Yuuri is a ice skating instructor and Victor is thirsty for him and will do whatever it takes for Yuuri to get to know him. Even if that means pretending to not know how to skate at all, even though he’s a five-time world champion. VERY cute, lots of fluff, and Victor is hilarious in this. I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING!

all the world’s a stage by braveten, Explicit, 112k
AU where Victor is the the most famous actor in Hollywood and Yuuri is a silver medalist at this year’s GPF… and also has a huge crush on Victor. Yuuri auditions to become his skating coach for a movie with the help of Pitchit and cuteness ensues. Fun, great writing, good plot. Lots of fluff, some angst, and a little bit of smut. SO FREAKIN’ GOOD ASHDGALSJFHGSJ

Package Deal

I like to think that Saitama and Genos have the sort of relationship where they’re a package deal. Like if you invite one of them to something then there’s like a 99% chance the other one goes too. Maybe the Hero Association gets upset because Genos keeps bringing a B-Class hero to S-Class events and Genos is pretty much like “fuck off”. Or maybe their friends don’t bother giving them both invitations to things because they know that invitation automatically includes the other. And on the rare occasion where only one of them shows up to something people just freak out and ask a billion questions like “What happened?” “Did you two get into a fight?” “Is everything alright?”. And their responses are always so domestic or mundane like “Genos is parking the car” or “Saitama has a stomach ache” or “Genos is over there. Jesus, calm down. We’re fine.”

2

1st panel
Blue: But I DO understand!
2nd panel:
Blue: I also had my brother taken from me. My Papyrus.
Fatal: . . . . .. . . .

DAAAAMN FATAL TOOK A WHILE TO MAKE XD
Anyways, here ya go! This is my first Fatal picture too. Ive drawn Blue before but never Fatal. I hope it came out ok :‘3

anonymous asked:

Hi love! IDK if you will reply, but may I ask for some angsty Viktuuri fics? HIT ME WITH UR BEST SHOT 💜

YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME WITH THIS ANGST… but I’m trash for angst so I’m not even mad. Get ready for lots pain and some amazing writing!


Victuuri Angst


Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya, Explicit, 147k (WIP)
Pretty sure everyone’s read this one… but if you haven’t, do! Rivals AU where Yuuri’s main goal, ever since he was a child, is to beat Victor and win the GPF. SO MUCH ANGST (like, so much) and deliciously hot, hot, hot! You might die from reading this… it’s that good. My personal favourite!

Submerge by cryingoverspilledvodka, Mature, 38k
The pining and angst is real in this one! Full of angry Yuuri and an equally frustrated Victor. Takes place after their first argument. Relationships aren’t easy, and Victor and Yuuri are no exception.

On My Love by RikoJasmine, Teen, 48k (WIP)
Time travel AU where Yuuri and Victor are happy aged and married, but an accident occurs and suddenly Yuuri wakes up back in Detroit, in a time before he had even met Victor. Yuuri competes against him again, a completely different skater this time. Amazing fic!

Between us by Vitavili, Mature, 169k
Love hurts. Love heals. Sometimes it’s really easy to love. Sometimes it feels like hell. You can forget to love yourself because you are too busy with loving someone else. Stunning fic with heavy angst but a happy ending.

Gods of Circumstance by Ritequette, Mature, 17k (WIP)
During his Free Program at the 2016 Barcelona Grand Prix Finals, Yuuri suffers a freak equipment malfunction and falls, hitting his head on the ice.
When he wakes up, he’s back at the 2015 Sochi GPF. Get ready for angst, angst, and more angst. Thumbs up!

Break the Cycle by SigmundFreud, Explicit, 26k
College AU where ex boyfriends Yuuri and Victor can’t stay away from each other. LOTS of mutual pining, arguments, miscommunication, and, of course, angst. Thumbs up!

and I feel life (for the very first time) by smudgesofink, Teen, 10k
In which Victor helps Yuuri with his skating, but Yuuri helps Victor find himself again. Oh, man, I was sobbing while reading this. Very angsty, indeed!

“let’s (not) end this” by YuuriVityaNyan (NarryEm), Not Rated, 1.7k
It’s as though Viktor’s world came crumbling down.  All that they have built up to in the last eight months: gone. Okay, this physically hurt me to read this… like it’s pure angst… that’s it…

the gentle light that strays and vanishes by nauti, Gen, 7.7k
Yuuri and Viktor go back in time eight weeks before the 2015 Sochi Grand Prix Final separately, only to find each other again. Angsty and sweet. Must read!

Never Enough by ireallyloveicecream, Mature, 35k
All Katsuki Yuuri wanted was skate on the same ice as rising star Viktor Nikforov. But when his dream comes true and they meet, his awe for him mutates into a cut-throat motivation for retaliation, sending the two of them into a rivalry that should’ve burned into the history of figure skating. Intense rivals AU!

Hold Me Tight by smudgesofink, Teen, 11k
To say that Victor is touchy-feely is the understatement of the century. So when Victor just stops touching Yuuri, without explanation, without reason, it makes for a painfully jarring experience. It’s all fluff… then goes straight into the depths of angst.. *cries*

but all they ever, by webbedfeet, Gen, 3.7k
Yuuri could do anything for Victor’s sake, even if what he had to say felt like ripping out his own heart and tearing it to pieces. He just never thought he could do the same to Victor’s heart. wHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN????

First Fight by apollosoyuz, Gen, 2.4k
The first time they fought was loud and then quiet. In which Yuuri panics and blames Viktor, and Viktor doesn’t realize the impact his petty response will have on Yuuri until it’s too late. Fluffy ending!

OK BUT LIKE HOW DID WE GET SO BLESSED TO SEE OUT OTP GO THROUGH THESE INCREDIBLE THINGS BECAUSE LIKE THIS IS FUCKING EPIC ROMANCE TERRITORY AND I AM SO FUCKINGEMOTIONAL BUT LIKE OK LOOK

I LOVE EMMA SWAN LOL AND HOW HER INSTANT REACTION IS LIKE THE FUCK?

ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH

T B H

HER FACCEEEE SHE’S HEARING HIS VOICEEE

AND THIS ASSHOLE. I AM SO MAD AT HIM AND HIS PERFECTNESS. HE LOVES HER SO FUCKING MUCH I WILL BREAK MY KEYBOARD I SWEAR ONE OF THESE DAYS BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.

AND IMMEDIATELY, LIKE HE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW IF SHE’S LISTENING OR WHAT AND HE JUST HOPES. LIKE THE TIME HE GAVE UP HIS FUCKING SHIP FOR A HOPE TO SEE HER. THIS MAN LOVES HER SO MUCH, IT IS A PERMANENT ACHE UPON MY SOUL.

I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU. I WAS COMING BACK TO YOU LIKE WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS WHY DO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. HOW CAN YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU ASSHOLE.

AND SHE’S LIKE IMMEDIATELY IN TEARS BECAUSE FUCK ALL SHE WAS GONNA MOVE ON. MOVE ON MY ASS TBH. SHE WAS TRYING SO HARD TO DO IT THOUGH BECAUSE IT WAS HURTING SO MUCH BUT THE RELIEF IN HER FACE AND THE TEARS AND I AM JUST A PUDDLE LEAVE ME HERE

I LOVE YOU HE SAID. HIS VOICE CRACKED AND HE’S JUST DESPERATE AND HOPING AND TELLING HER HE LOVES HER WITHOUT KNOWING IF SHE’S EVEN HEARING HIM AND IT HURTS ME SO FUCKING MUCH I CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS NONSENSE

AND HER FACE AND THE RELIEVED SOB AND THE FACT THAT SHE WASN’T WRONG TO TRUST HIM AND THAT SHE ISN’T GONNA BE ALONE AND THAT SHE WAS RIGHT IN HER LOVE AND HE LOVES HER HE LOVES HER HE LOVES HERRR

AND I’M TRYING TO GET HOME TO YOU LIKE OH MY GODDDDDD WHAT AHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME WITH YOUR VOICE AND YOUR FACE AND YOUR LOVE FOR EMMA SWAN WHAT IS THIS WHYYYY

I LOVE YOU TOOOOO SHE SAYS AND I AM JUST SO IN AWE OF THIS SCENE BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT EVEN NEAR EACH OTHER AND I FEEL THEIR LOVE AS THOUGH IT WERE A TANGIBLE THING AND I AM IN SUCH PAIN AND SO EMOTIONAL AND I CANNOT EVEN UGH I LOVE HER AND HIM AND HOW SHE LOVES HIM AND HE LOVES HER

AND THIS FACE BECAUSE HE CAN’T HEAR HER LIKE THE FUCKING LEVELS OF ANGST JUST WENT SO HIGH UP AND I AM FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS AND IT IS WONDERFUL BECAUSE LIKE THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW A STORY HAS TOUCHED YOU BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP SCREAMING RN BUT ALSO THE FUCKING FUCK HOW DARE YOU SIR? HOE DARE?

AND SHE’S TRYING TO LET HIM KNOW THAT HE IS LOVED TOO. THESE TWO LONELY HUMANS HAVE FOUND ONE ANOTHER TO LOVE AND THEY’RE STUMBLING THROUGH THE WHOLE THING BUT FUCK IF THEY DON’T LOVE EACH OTHER WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE AND IT MAKES ME HURT IN MY TINY HEART

LOOK AT HER FACE AND HOW MUCH SHE IS TRYING OH MY GODDD

ALSO LIKE YOU KNOW YOUR OTP HAS REACHED EPIC ROMANCE LEVELS WHEN THE BIG BAD OF THE SEASON SPECIFICALLY TARGETS ONE HALF OF YOUR OTP TO GET TO THE OTHER HALF WHILE THEY’RE BOTH FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET BACK TO ONE ANOTHER.

CAN WE FUCKING SAY EPIC ROMANCE THOUGH?

CAN WE?

IT’S AMAZING LIKE I AM IN PAIN AND YET I AM HAPPY BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND I AM EXCITED TO SEE THEM FIGHT FOR EACH OTHER AND I JUST NEED A HUG

*FALLS OVER*

thinksnow  asked:

right so im probably really gay for this but i was thinking about alec and magnus walking around the institute talking and turning corners and without realizing it suddenly ending up at the doors of the church where they first kissed- was that inside the institute too? whatever- and deciding to go inside and there'd be something about the lighting that would bring back old feelings and spark new ones too...

it was a wednesday and the institute was bathed in that hazy multicolored glow it always had in the middle of the day. the light spilled through the stained glass windows in thick shards, making everything fuzzier as those bright colors pooled on everything. in the main rooms it was busy, the bustle making it hard to appreciate the beautiful light, but they had been walking for a while and by now they had found a part of the institute that was still and almost peaceful.

magnus wasn’t sure when it had gotten so quiet. they had started walking to talk over the plans for a mission, elbow to elbow. but as they got deeper into the institute, their fingers brushed and magnus glanced at alec, watching the easy smile that pulled at his lips. before long they were holding hands, their fingers entwined. and at some point the conversation had switched from work to what they were having for dinner and then all that conversation had gotten lost entirely in the quiet hum of the deeper areas of the institute.

all that was left was calm silence, a warm kind of silence that wrapped around them, the kind of silence humming between the shafts of pink light that were catching on the edges of their faces and burning against their twined fingers as magnus’s thumb stroked the side of alec’s hand. back here the institute felt like a place of quiet reverence and not an army base. it felt like a place of quiet reflection, of peace and calm. but that wasn’t what magnus was thinking about.

Keep reading

Imagine dealing with drunk Chris.

A/N: Man, oh man. I just can’t stay away from writing, can I? Well, at least majority of my holiday stuff’s packed. This is another fic inspired by a conversation with the lovely @chrisevans-imagines We have some very weird, but oddly inspiring conversations. Don’t we, Ava? 😂

You pushed your way through the crowd as you searched the overly packed party for your best friend, Chris, who had drunkenly called you ten times in the last hour; it was 2:19AM. He could count himself incredibly lucky that you were finishing up some paperwork at the hospital otherwise you would’ve killed him for interrupting your much needed beauty sleep. You’d been pulling quite a few late nights over the past week as you were about to take leave and go on your holiday, so things hadn’t been particularly easy on you. But you knew before you went into med-school that being a doctor wasn’t going to be easy, what you didn’t know was how much harder it was being a doctor who was best friends with Chris Evans; a man who had the equivalent energy of his puppy, Dodger. If you weren’t so in-love with him, he wouldn’t get away with half the things he put you through. But you were, so here you were at the party.

“Hello beautiful.” An arm hooked around your waist and pulled you into him; you groaned and pushed the drunken stranger off you. “Geez, lighten up!” He called after you as you disappeared further into the room. If you didn’t find Chris in the next five minutes, you were outta there.

“Hell yeah I’ll get it in!” You heard Chris’ voice and you followed it, chuckling when you found him by the ping pong table. “Don’t you worry, I'mma get it into that cup.” He bounced the ball off the table and balanced it on the back of his hand as he swallowed another gulp of his beer. “Watch me nail this th-” He spotted you and his smile tenfold. “Y/N, you came!” He downed his drink and tossed both ball and red solo cup aside before making his way to you, waving off the protests that came from the other players. “Sorry guys, I’m done. My girl’s here,” he draped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him.

“I’m not your girl, Evans.” You reminded him, but made no effort to push him away from you like you had with the other guy; you were very glad that the dim lights hid your deeply flushed cheeks. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t drink and drive, the last thing I need is to be called back in because someone got into a car accident.”

“Awww,” he cooed, squeezing you tightly against him. “Was someone worried about little old me?” You rolled your eyes, but failed to hide your smile. “Don’t be, my best friend’s a very good doctor. She’s very pretty too, like- she could be on Grey’s Anatomy.” He slurred then grinned when he heard you chuckle. “And that’s you,” he booped your nose, “I’m talking about you.”

“I know, and I’m talking about me too when I say I’ve had a very long night and I’m ready to go home.” He nodded with furrowed brows, really trying to process your words. “C'mon,” you wrapped an arm around his waist and directed him towards the exit, “you’re crashing at my place tonight. I’m not leaving you here when someone could literally tap beer out of you.”

“Yes!” He cheered. “I love your apartment, it smells like Christmas because of all the candles you have.” You hummed in acknowledgement at his drunk thoughts. “Hey, you know what’s really funny?” He didn’t wait for a response. “When I read your texts, I read it in an Australian accent because you’re from Australia. I do the same with Chris Hemsworth’s,” he told you then laughed to himself. “G'day mate,” he mimicked a tradition Australia greeting then laughed again.

“I’ve never once texted that to you, nor have I said that to you,” you chuckled. “And since when do I have an Australian accent? I’ve been living in America since I was eighteen, and you know I watch too much American television and too many Hollywood films to have an Australian accent.” The two of you found your way out of the party and into the much emptier parking lot where you car waited patiently. “But then again,” you glanced at him, “you are very wasted, so I won’t hold that against you.”

“Chuck a shrimp on the barbie,” he continued mocking the Australia accent and laughed when you did. “You’re right,” he returned to his normal accent as he pulled away from you, “you don’t sound like that.” He moved in front of you and took your hands in his, smiling like a love sick idiot which made your heart flutter despite knowing it didn’t mean what you wanted it to. “You sound perfect because you are perfect and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you responded with a chuckle, ignoring that ache in your heart. This wasn’t the first time he’d told you he loved you while he was drunk, in fact- he said it all the time when he was sober too. But it wasn’t the confession you longed for, it was just another platonic expression of affection that you shoved aside with your true feelings. “Let’s get you in bed, shall we?” You tried to pull your hands away only to have him tightened his grip.

“No,” he shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “You don’t understand, Y/N. I love you,” he said again in a more serious tone that made you sigh. As much as you wanted to reciprocate that feeling and kiss him, you couldn’t take anything he said seriously when he was drunk. Even if you did believe that drunk minds spoke for a sober heart, it was Chris; he was your best friend and you couldn’t ruin that friendship over a drunken slur of the moment. “I want to be with you,” he told you and pulled his hands away to cup your face.

“Chris, no,” you turned away when he started to lean in, taking a small step back. “We’re not going to do this.” You frowned when he did. “You’re drunk, I don’t want-” you cut yourself off before you said more than you should. “Let’s just go home, okay?” You brushed past him and headed for you car, stopping when he called out.

“I’m sober enough to have this conversation!” He walked in front of you with a frown on his face. “I’ve been trying to tell you I love you since the moment I met you, Y/N. But you keep brushing me off, like you think I’m not worth your time.”

“Chris-” you couldn’t believe you made him feel that way.

“Am I not good enough for you?” He asked then asked again before you could get a word in, “are you holding out for another doctor?” You opened your mouth to speak only to get cut off again, “what is it, Y/N? Why won’t you give me a chance?!” He growled and you flinched. “I don’t understand,” he shook his head, his pretty blues glistened with tears. “I’m not an idiot- I can see the way you look at me, so why won’t you be with me?”

“Chris,” you sighed as you took his hand in yours. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me, I honestly thought that you were fine with us just being friends.” He didn’t say anything, he just squeezed your hand ever so gently. “That’s why I didn’t say anything- that’s why I brushed you off. I figured you were joking, it’s not because I don’t think you’re worth my time.”

“Do you realize how long I’ve been waiting for you?” He asked with a breathless chuckle. “From the moment we met- I’ve wanted to be with you. I was just so terrified I wasn’t good enough, that you wouldn’t want to be with an actor so- I took it slow, I started out by being your friend. But God,” he started to cry and your heart ached, “it hurt seeing you with other people. It sucked saying I love you when you didn’t know how much,” his hand tightened around yours. “I’ve wasted so much of my life not being your other half and I hate it, Y/N.”

“You are my other half, Chris,” you caressed his face with your other hand and brushed the tears rolling down his cheek. “I love you too. I’m so in-love with you that it’s ridiculous,” you told him and he smiled. “There is no one I’d rather see at the end of the day than you. You are my person, you are all I see when I look towards the future,” you assured him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m sorry-” He pulled you into his arms and kissed you, cutting you off in the best possible way.

“Wow,” you let out a breathless laugh when he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, rubbing small circles into your sides, “I should’ve done that years ago.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @captainamerica-ce @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)

What I Read This Week

(19/2/17)

I haven’t had too much time to read fics this week due to exams!

Masquerade by Ashida, Explicit (WIP)
Yuuri is part of Japan’s most notorious mafias. Victor is the head of the Russian mafia. After brief meetings throughout the span of five years, they decide to go off together and leave everything behind. I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS FIC!

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya, Explicit (WIP)
Rivals AU where Yuuri’s main goal, ever since he was a child, is to beat Victor and win the GPF. SO MUCH ANGST (like, so much) and deliciously hot, hot, hot! You might die from reading this… it’s that good. JUST UPDATED TODAY!

Love in Red and White by ivelostallcontrolofmylife, Gen
Viktor realises he -really- likes Yuuri wearing his clothes. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH!

in need of melted marshmallow cuddles by Hitsugi_Zirkus, Gen
“Viktor. You’re Russian. How is it that you’re always so easily cold and– Wait,” Yuuri’s eyes fell onto Viktor’s bundled up form under the comforter, “are you wearing my jackets? How many layers have you got on?” SNUGGLES AND CUDDLES DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING I LOVE THIS FIC

Hashtag Perfect by phoenixwings, Gen
Sometimes the insecurity that was ever-present in his youth creeps back in and hits him tenfold when he thinks about how much his body has changed. Can I get an amen for supportive boyfriend Victor Nikiforov? AMEN!

Maelstrom by feelslikefire, Explicit
Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport–right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.

(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Here’s to another week of great fic reading! Be sure to give the authors some love! 

Show Me

Originally posted by destinyhayden

A/N: I love this so much, like I’m making my own heart ache a little here, damn. Thankyou so much to @a-smol-badger for the request that I never would have thought up on my own atm. That’s all I got to say honestly. 

Request: Is there a possibility you could write an imagine where y/n is an art student and her latest class assignment is human figure and she wants to draw jug and he gets scared and self conscious that he has to be shirtless but y/n assures him he is perf

Word Count: 1,882

Warnings: boi has body confidence issues for a hot second, that’s it.

Keep reading

Surprise (M)

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 4916 words

Plot: It’s Baekhyun’s birthday and he’s in for a surprise.

Happy belated birthday, Byun Baekhyun. ❤️ This guy right here is the love of my life. My ultimate bias and the light of everyone’s life. I hope he stays happy and healthy forever. He deserves all the happiness because he blesses my life and many others with it everyday. Thanks for everything, Baekhyun. ❤️❤️❤️

It was the day before Baekhyun’s birthday. The boys were on their way back to their hotel in Macau for a show which they had just completed and a festival which they would be performing at the following day. The day of Baekhyun’s birthday.

Baekhyun engaged in conversation with Junmyeon, Xiumin and Yixing as the four of them sat together in the small van. The other five members were in a different van because there was no way all nine of them could fit into the vehicle. The driver hummed to himself, not at all paying any mind to the chatter resonating across the car.

Keep reading

are-you-sure-its-me-you-see  asked:

Hey, I love your blog and the things you write. Do you think you could do headcannons for the RFA + V and Serran finding MC's anti-depressants? Thanks so much in advance if you do.

Awww thank you so much for your kind words! I appreciate your patience since I really wanted to do this request justice! Thank you very much for the request and I hope that you enjoy!! ^^


Yoosung

  • You and Yoosung were doing some spring cleaning one day when the two of you had a free day
  • Yoosung was in charge of the kitchen and while he was going through the medicine cabinet, he found some strange pills that looked like something he’s never seen before
  • His eyes widened when he read the label saying that it was prescribed to you and that they’re anti-depressants
  • Without warning while you were dusting some shelves, Yoosung tackled you with a hug that forced both of you to the floor
  • Yoosung cradled your head to his neck, his tears streaming down his rosy cheeks but he somehow managed to talk to you
  • “I’m so sorry MC but I found your anti-depressants. I know that life can be tough and it may seem like you’re all alone, but please never forget that you aren’t! I’ll always be here for you through thick and thin. I want you to know that I love you and that you can fight your depression with me at your side!”
  • The two of you sat on the floor, both of you in tears as you held each other while Yoosung told you how much he loved you and how strong you are
  • Yoosung then picked you up and took you to the bedroom where the two of you spent the rest of the night talking about everything and cuddling the night away

Zen

  • After a long day at rehearsals, Zen was more then ready to come home and spend the rest of the evening with you
  • It had been an extremely long day for him, so much so that he developed an aching headache
  • So when Zen reached your home and went to grab some medicine, an unknown bottle fell to the floor
  • When he picked it up, his heart sunk when it read that they were your anti-depressants
  • Zen rushed to your shared bedroom, with you getting ready for bed, but instead Zen sat on the bed and pulled you onto his lap as he littered your face with kisses and kind words
  • “I love you so much MC. I want you to know that I accidentally found your anti-depressant pills but that will never stop me from loving you. I’m going to be there with you every step of the way until we beat your depression. But until then, know that I’m completely, utterly, and madly in love with you.”
  • Those kindhearted words were enough to set your tears flowing, feeling a great relief knowing that Zen knew the truth
  • That night you fell asleep to the sound of Zen singing as he held your hand, vowing to help you overcome your depression together

Jaehee

  • Jaehee was on the hunt to find the perfect ingredients to make the perfect cup of coffee with you waiting as her taste tester
  • She was searching through the cabinets to find that one perfect thing to add to the coffee
  • As Jaehee was looking, she noticed a medicine bottle pushed in the back corner of the cabinet
  • She grabbed it and slowly read the label, saying that it was your anti-depressants
  • Jaehee felt her stomach drop as she made her way over to you, taking hold of both of your hands as she gave you a swift kiss and plenty of caring words
  • “Please forgive me but I accidentally found your anti-depressants MC. I’ve never known anyone with depression but know that I’m going to be right here with you. We’re going to overcome this together, we’ll judo kick it away! A-anyways know that I love you and having depression won’t change that.”
  • Jaehee smiled gently as she kissed both of your hands and gave you a warm hug
  • You and Jaehee spent the rest of the night talking about your struggles while she listened intently, giving you words of encouragement and love as she held you close to her

Jumin

  • You and Jumin were having a small party for Elizabeth the Third’s birthday
  • He opened the finest bottle of wine available so the two of you quickly ran out and since you both weren’t drunk yet, Jumin went to get more
  • As he scoured through the kitchen to find more wine, he stumbled across the medicine cabinet and saw a bottle he’s never seen before
  • His eyes quickly scanned the label, saying it’s contents had anti-depressants prescribed to you
  • Jumin was at your side in an instant, sitting next to you on the couch as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and leaned you into his chest as he said sweet words to you
  • “I found your anti-depressants MC. I’m so sorry for not realizing soon about it, you make me so happy so I just assumed that you were too and that was foolish of me. I’ll do absolute anything to help you get better MC, just name it. But always remember that my love for you never falters and I want to spend every second of my life with you.”
  • Jumin kissed the top of your head as you cried into his chest, with him soothingly rubbing your arm
  • The night was spent cuddling with Jumin and Elizabeth the Third as he would kiss you all over, telling you how much he cherished and adored you

Seven

  • You came down with a cold one morning so it was up to Nurse Seven to take care of you
  • Once he had you laying in bed, Seven went to fetch some medicine from the cabinet
  • While searching, he saw a bottle of familiar looking pills and as he read the label, he saw that they were your anti-depressant pills
  • Seven felt as if the world was spinning but he burst through the bedroom door, with you looking up groggily at him and were met with a tight embrace
  • You felt Seven’s tears land on your shoulder as he held on to you tightly, telling you the words that you needed to hear
  • “MC, I found your anti-depressants. I know what it’s like, I use to take those pills too before you came into my life. You saved me from my depression so I’m going to save you from yours. I’m going to make you smile so much that you’ll completely forget about your depression! I love you to the moon and back MC, never forget that.”
  • Not caring if he caught your cold, Seven locked his lips with yours, sealing his promise with a sweet yet sad kiss that made you cry as well
  • Seven kept true to his promise, you were smiling and laughing more then you had in a long time, this boy would help you overcome your depression no matter what

V

  • V had noticed you were a bit off the past couple of days, greatly concerning him
  • You seemed to put on a fake smile and he would hear you crying when he’d come home late at night from work
  • One night when V was looking for his eye drops, he found a bottle of pills that he’s never seen before
  • Squinting so he could read the label, V’s fear became true when he saw that they were your anti-depressants
  • V calmly walked over to the bedroom to find you reading a book and slowly snuggled himself into bed with you
  • He gently kissed your forehead and rubbed his nose against yours as he told you warming words of love
  • “When I was looking for my eye drops, I found your anti-depressants MC. Please know that I’ll always remain with you because I love you. I promise to help you get through this, I’ll do absolutely anything to help you with your recovery my dear. You make me so happy and feel loved so I vow to make you always feel the way I do.”
  • Hearing V’s sincere words of loved caused you to start crying as he held you close to his chest, listening to his heartbeat to calm you down
  • You and V worked together to help battle your depression, with V constantly reminding you how much he loves you

Unknown

  • Saeran would be eternally grateful for all that you’ve done to help him with his recovery process
  • Even though it was hard for him to express it, he genuinely loved having you by his side and he’d do anything for you
  • So when the two of you were having a movie night, he went to get some ice cream and while looking for some sprinkles, he saw a bottle of pills in the back of the cabinet
  • Saeran cautiously took the bottle and covered his mouth in shock when he read that they were your anti-depressant pills
  • Without warning, Saeran picked you up and took you to the bedroom, wrapping the two of you in a blanket and whispered loving words to you
  • “Listen, I found your anti-depressants MC. They were… next to mine. I don’t want you to feel depressed, I know how much it sucks. So we’re going to work together to beat both of our depressions alright? I know I don’t say it enough but I love you MC.“
  • Saeran wrapped a protective arm around you as you cried into his chest, but feeling his warmth made you feel safe and secure
  • You and Saeran spent the rest of the night talking about what made the two of you happy, falling asleep in each other’s arms with both of you smiling

My emotions run so deep, you have no fucking idea. “You’re nice”, “you’re so cute”, “you’re a great person”… Same old crap day in and day out. From EVERYBODY. Every. Person. I. Know.

I have so much love and affection I am aching to give, but nobody wants it. And I don’t like stepping on toes or making anyone uncomfortable so I keep everything bottled up inside until I’m fucking angry and beyond frustrated.

Maybe I love in a way that other people don’t understand. The INFJ “F” is a curse. Everyone wants depth of emotions but it’s the one thing that separates me from every other person and makes intimacy so much more potent for me.

“You’re so giving”. Yeah for what? I give every part of myself every day and most people don’t even acknowledge or care. Or it’s just annoying.

- INFJ Ramblings

devinesis  asked:

Viktuuri 15 😢😍🗺✈️

This takes place at some indeterminate time during Season 1 before they’re officially together.
——

“I wish I could see you in person,” Victor murmured, slumping down on his folded arms.

“It’s only a few more days,” Yuuri reminded him.

He was in Russia and Yuuri was at home in Hasetsu. It was only for a week, but it already felt far too long to Yuuri. Victor was faring no better, insisting that they Skype every day. It was only the fourth day. Three more, Yuuri could make it. He wasn’t sure if Victor could.

Yuuri glanced over at the digital clock on his bedside table. It was just after six. He should have already started to get ready to go down to the Ice Castle to practice, but Victor couldn’t talk at their normal time today. He looked back and caught Victor yawning.

“I shouldn’t keep you up,” Yuuri said apologetically. “You should get some sleep. You need to be up early, don’t you?”

Victor shrugged, smiling at Yuuri. He shifted the laptop closer to the mound of pillows he was propped up on. “Sleep is nothing compared to getting to talk to you, Yuuri. Don’t be cruel, I can’t go all day without talking to you.”

“You couldn’t have waited a few more hours? I would have gotten to talk to you tonight when you were having lunch,” Yuuri pointed out.

Victor huffed out a weighted sigh and pouted at the webcam on his laptop. “Yuuri, so mean! I would talk to you twice a day if I could.”

Yuuri blushed and averted his gaze. “I..I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I do want to see you, don’t think that please.”

“I believe you, myshka,” Victor said with a laugh. Yuuri loved that laugh, it was full of life.

That laugh made his fingers itch to touch Victor — to hug him.

“Victor?” he asked, nibbling on the corner of his mouth.

Victor snuggled closer to his pillow pile and leaned closer to the laptop. “Yes, Yuuri?”

Yuuri held his breath. He’d never admitted this to Victor before on the rare instances they’d been apart. It was completely new territory for him to allow himself to be so vulnerable for Victor. Sure, he might have broken down and cried in front of him before with the pressure of the competition heavy on his shoulders, but he’d never admitted these feelings he held locked away, deep in his heart.

“I…” Yuuri trailed off and gathered his courage. Victor stayed silent, but his expression was completely open and earnest. Yuuri struggled to meet and hold his gaze. “I miss you. It’s not the same without you here. I…I don’t sleep as well knowing you’re not in the next room.”

He closed his eyes tightly and clenched his fists in his track pants. He said it all in such a rush he wasn’t sure if Victor understood him, but when he felt brave enough to look at Victor again his expression was full of affection, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny.

“Oh, Yuuri. I miss you, too, zolotse. So much,” Victor said after several heartbeats. God, his voice sounded so full of love — it almost broke Yuuri. “It’s not much longer now. We’ll see each other soon. You’ll pick me up at the airport on Friday, yes?”

Yuuri nodded quickly, steadying his phone when it got jostled. “Yes! Yes, I’ll be there. Makkachin, too. He can’t wait to see you.”

Victor’s smile was brilliant and blinding and it made Yuuri’s heart ache that he was so far away.

“Yuuri?” Victor asked, drawing his focus again.

“Yes?”

Victor hesitated a moment, looking like he was almost going to leave it and go to bed. He opened and closed his mouth twice, his eyes searching Yuuri’s face through the connection of their screens.

“I don’t sleep well at all without knowing you’re near, either,” Victor admitted finally. “I hope we never have to be apart again after this trip.”

Yuuri’s breath left him in a gust, feeling as if it had been punched out of him. “Oh,” he murmured faintly.

Victor bit his lip and nodded, letting one his hands trace Yuuri’s face on the screen. “I’ll see you on Friday, Yuuri,” he said. “Goodnight, lyubov moya.”

“Goodnight,” Yuuri said quietly, still reeling from Victor’s admission. He barely caught the Russian that Victor had spoken, writing it off as another one of his eccentric nicknames and endearments.

They ended the connection and Yuuri flopped back onto his bed, clutching his phone to his chest. He allowed himself a moment of silent overexcitement in his head before he hauled himself out of bed to go practice at the Ice Castle. If he remembered, then he could ask Victor what that last new bit of Russian was on their next call.

——
Translations:
myshka - little mouse
zolotse - my gold
lyubov moya - my love

Oh man, I’m so rusty on Victuuri since I haven’t written anything for them in 6 months!! Thanks for playing!

Send me a pairing + a prompt from the list!

Exo reaction to you finding out they’re in the mafia

Request:  an exo reaction where you find out they are in a mafia but dont want you to leave them?

A/N: Thank you for the request anon, hope this is what you wanted!x

Xiumin:

Originally posted by hoemedy

‘Jagiya… this is a whole world I never wanted you to know about, it’s dangerous and it’s cutthroat but whatever happens, I’ll be able to protect you’ he would say, embracing you tightly as you fought back the tears of discovering a long hidden secret. ‘I can’t let you go Y/N, not like this’.

Luhan:

Originally posted by krismehard

Discovering this side of Luhan you were both shocked and intimidated to see this sweetheart you thought you knew be caught up in a violent ring. As you moved to the door to catch your breath he would stop you, closing the door and catching you off guard ‘Y/N please understand, I’m still the same guy, nothing will change, least of all my feelings for you’.

Kris:

Originally posted by 21ml

He may not seem like it, but Kris’ number one priority is and always has been your safety above all else. Seeing you walk towards the door with your new found knowledge of the mafia put you in too much danger for him to risk it: ‘Wait! Y/N if you walk out that door you’re no longer safe knowing what you do. If you have to leave, I’m coming with you.’

Suho:

Originally posted by suwoorai

Suho would go from cool mafia leader to a man willing to beg for you in a matter of seconds. He’d stand in front of the door, intense eyes burning into yours spouting apologies and explanations, clutching your hands in his sweaty palms and trying to show you just how much he needed you. ‘Just… please stay.’

Lay:

Originally posted by baekhyuntella

When Lay heard you knew what he did he transformed into a different person. With the knowledge you might be in danger because his enemies might know his feelings for you, he became a protective, confident man willing to kill to keep you safe. ‘For me, I need you safe and alive. I love you more than anything and that’s why I can’t let you leave. Understand?’

Baekhyun:

Originally posted by kaimygui

On the outside, he’d be calm and collected explaining why he couldn’t tell you about his mafia life but on the inside, he’d be freaking out at the prospect of you walking out the door and never forgiving him. ‘Y/N, I know I should;ve told you earlier and you shouldn’t have found out like this but please, stay with me. The world is a dangerous place, I want to keep you safe, if you’d let me.’

Chen:

Originally posted by constellachen

Chen would actually turn gravely serious, alarming you already being the complete opposite of the bouncy, bubbly guy you were used to. When you explain to him that you’re not sure you can handle someone with so many secrets he’d start to panic: ‘Those secrets are there to keep you safe, I don’t want you knowing what I know, it’s not pretty. But I give you my word, if there is anything you ever need to know, you’ll know. I love you.’

Chanyeol:

Originally posted by beautyeol

You’d stormed out the night you found out about Chanyeol’s mafia life. When you finally came home, you’d find Chanyeol asleep on the kitchen counter, tear stained cheeks and a note by his side.

‘Y/N, I know you may never look at me the same, but I will always look at you with the same love as I did the day I met you. If you come home and find this, know that everything I do is to keep you, my little family, safe. But, if you want me to, I’ll give it all up to make you happy. I love you too much to let you go. Yours, Chanyeol.’ 

Kyungsoo:

Originally posted by overdyosed

Kyungsoo would let you make a choice. He loved you too much to make you stay if you wanted to leave so he told you you could. Inside, his heart was aching as he desperately wanted you to walk towards him instead of the door out into the big wide world he knew was oh so brutal. ‘If you want to leave you can. I won’t resent you for it, just know that even if you do I’ll love you and protect you the same as I always have.’

Tao:

Originally posted by karina617tor

Despite everything, Tao’s heart was still a big softie for you and when he found out what you knew, his mafia self would be discarded in favour of pulling you into his strong arms and resting his head on top of yours, letting his actions and thumping heart speak for how much he loved you and needed you around. This was the reminder that you needed that in spite of it all, he was still the same Tao you loved.

Kai:

Originally posted by jonginization

He would get super emotional at just the thought of you leaving him. Yes, he was in the mafia and yes, he should have told you but he was willng to do anything and everything to earn your trust back. He would tell you everything and shower you in affection but he’d also give you time, time to figure your feelings out and where he stood with you. ‘Take all the time you need Jagi, I’ll be here whenever you need me.’

Sehun:

Originally posted by sehunniess

Sehun would stay eerily calm; he knew this day would come and had planned everything that he was going to do to slowly ease you into his world- one he’d wanted to tell you about from the start. ‘Ok, let me start from the beginning. It all started back when I was a kid, my father was also a highly respected figure…’ he would go on, and when he was done finish with ‘so now you know my world, I want you to join it with me, that is, if you want to?’

Zach Imagine #6 (short one)

He was there at his locker with Alyssa Todd. He said something, she laughed, and she kissed his cheek and left. Then I came and he acted so casual, like he hadn’t done anything wrong. I didn’t want to believe that he was cheating on me again. He said he was sorry, that it would never happen again and that he loved me. 

-

I stood in front of him.

“Why me, Zach?”

“It was easy. You were there so often. You cared so much. It was too easy for me to use you. You never cared when I blew you off. Whenever I cheated all I had to do was say sorry, it was a mistake, I love you and you forgave me. You always came back, so I kept doing it. I wanted to see how much shit I could put you through before you gave up with me,” he said, with that casual tone.

Goosebumps rose on my skin. My heart ached, I knew I should’ve left the first time, but he said he loved me. Who would lie about that? I thought at the time, but it’s been a con this whole time.

“You know Zach, I’m sorry for you, because although I knew the type of people you hang out with, and the type of person you are. I wanted to believe you were good. I did,” I paused. “But the real reason I feel sorry for you is because, you lost someone that loved you, that would’ve done anything for you, and I lost you. A boy who was too damaged to open himself up to real emotions and for that I am truly sorry.”