it turned out i was just really bored

Auction AU Part 2


Here’s the first part  ! I recommend you read it before this part, or else it won’t make much sense.

Sorry this took like, ten million years. Thanks to everyone who messaged me and said they liked the first part, it always made my day <3 

————

    The relief only lasted so long once he realized that yes, no more old-leopard-print lady (thank god), but still there’s a date with someone. A stranger.

    Jack’s barely held decent conversations with his teammates, how would a date with a stranger work?

    It wouldn’t. No way.

   Feeling like he’d just survived a brutal game, Jack took a few seconds to gather himself. He wiped the condensation from his forehead (he really hoped no one had noticed), slowed his breathing, let his jaw unclench. Once his fingers became steady enough he fixed the cuffs of his uncomfortably hot suit.

   “Fuck it,” He shucked the jacket off entirely. It felt good until he lifted his arms- “Ugh.”

   Pit stains.

   For a moment he struggled with what to do: If I wear the jacket I’m uncomfortable and sweating more, but if I don’t people can see the sweat and thats embarrassing and-

   “Jack!” Someone from management tapped his shoulder, “This way, the kid is waiting on stage right.” She gave him a brief once-over, “Put on the jacket.”

    With a somewhat relieved nod, he slipped the jacket back on and wished for a calmer heart-beat.

     The wish didn’t come true, of course. It rarely did.

    They approached the stairs leading off the stage.

    This kid must like you. They bid on you. They spent money for a date-thing-whatever with you. Just smile. Act like a normal-

   “Hi!”

   -person.

   “Uh, hi.”

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Going on a Road Trip with Peter Parker would include..

- aunt may driving both of y’all headasses

- you thought one of you was driving?

- please

- last time peter had control of a car tony ended up paying 20 thousand in repairs

- he snuck you into headquarters at like 2 am because that seemed like the greatest idea

- ended up having peter back into a wall after stepping on it when he wasn’t supposed to

- story of his life amirite

- aunt may taking both you and peter down to coney island for the weekend

- despite the 40 minute ride its the closest you two get to a road trip

- leaving at the crack of dawn to get to the rides early

- peter having the cutest lil hoodie on with the brightest smile on his face

- but also being unreasonably energetic at 7 in the morning

- ‘(y/n)imsohappythatyou’rehereohmygodarentyouexcited’

- ‘peter i haven’t seen you for five minutes and i already want you to shut up’

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We’ll see that, sweetheart - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: We’ll see that, sweetheart

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Imagine: Imagine Dean and you being hunting partners and in love with each other for year, but are too scared to admit it. You are close and have a strong bond, being intimate in different ways every time. When he sees you interact with Jack and take care of him he remembers how he’s always wanted to have kids with you and finally gets the courage to bring it up to you.

A/N: In a close to perfect Supernatural universe this is how I’d like to see Dean open up to Jack, just to get over a lil bit of the pain in the previous episode! But I love both so much that the writers are only making it harder for me now!

“And that is how you can also raise the volume if you want to hear more clear, but careful with that around here cause Dean’s always a grumpy old man with these stuff.” you said playfully and Jack grinned slightly, just as Dean looked at you and scoffed.

“I’m not old.” hemuttered and you hummed.

“Sure, whatever you say grandpa!” you winked but he just shook his head, a small smile creeping on his lips “And- no, Jack he’s not my granpa. It’s just a thing, I call him stupid nicknames sometimes. That’s all.” you said, noticing how the nephilim was ready to ask.

“Oh” he nodded his head “Alright, and if I want to watch… cartoons, I press on number one and then three. For… thirteen, right?”

“Exactly! And there’re plenty of Scooby Doo there for you too!” you giggled, patting his back as he broke into an adorable grin.

“I really like that one, it’s wonderful!” he breathed out, his eyes sparkling.

“It sure is, Jack.” you chuckled “But remember, whenever there isn’t something good on TV and you really want to do something you can opt for a book!”

“Yeah if you wanna be a nerd in life sure.” Dean mumbled and you shot him a look.

“There are plenty of good ones around here, and I have a lot I think you’d like.” you said softly to Jack “Just until you find what you really like and what not we keep exploring, alright?”

“Then I think we should name you Dora.” Dean muttered with a snicker and you couldn’t fight the grin that spread on your lips, as Jack merely tilted his head to the side and frown.

“Do- Dora? What is that?” he mumbled and you still couldn’t fight the laughter that left your lips.

“Dean!” you exclaimed, throwing a pillow at him as he dodged it “How the hell do you even know about that?!” you shook your head.

Keep reading

How to become a good student (again) 4: Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband, cause I’m about to drop the p-bomb:

That’s right… p…p…pro…

PROCRASTINATION!

I know. I know. The moment has come, man. Procrastination has cost me so many hours of my life that I will never get back and I guess it’s the same for you.
Here’s a bit of a secret - the first three posts so far? They were actually also about procrastination. Specifically, they were about WHY you or I might procrastinate.
1. Because you’re overwhelmed by choices
2. Because, goddamnit, it’s HARD to to start
3. Because you have a screwed up relationship with studying

Now, in this post, we will be tying these threads together by looking at the WHAT and the HOW. You’ve examined the roots, you’ve gotten rid of the pesky little bugs living down there, so… WHAT is procrastination really and HOW do you defeat it and actually start studying?

Procrastinaton, for me, is a state of mind, a surround sound and most of all: a place - it’s LIMBO. It’s physically being unable to do something. Being caught in a web (very often the world wide one). Drowning in water. Being pulled apart, gaining momentum, losing control, cotton in my ears, the heat of shame in my chest, a thousand voices in my mind that I try to silence.

“You should be -”
“You have to -”
“You must -”

“Do something, do something, do something, anything, anything, anything, anything”
“You loser, you can’t even -”
“YOU USED TO BE GREAT and now you’re just-”

I hate myself while doing it. I feel horrible. I feel useless.
But at the same time, at the very bottom of my mind, there is something that I’ve refused to acknowledge for the longest time: a sense of pleasure.
Why
do I feel this weird sense of pleasure when I procrastinate? Why do I feel pleasure when I know I’m sabotaging my future through inaction? When I’m digging myself into a deeper and deeper grave? When I hate myself at the same time? Why do I procrastinate at all? Is it because of that underlying ironic pleasure?

Well, to find the answer to those questions, we first need to ask ourselves a bigger one: what is the OPPOSITE of limbo? If limbo is being caught in the middle of nowhere, floating, glitching, slowly imploding, then what is the opposite?
I’d say it’s movement, direction and action - you being in charge and moving things along, having agency, being alive and powerful and energetic and hot. I’d say it’s FLOW.

When I was a child, I had little to no problem syncing in and out of flow. It just came to me like second nature and I LOVED it. I loved the way my brain buzzed and I completely forgot about my surroundings. I loved disappearing into ideas, books, stories, video games, homework, a teacher’s lesson, a friend’s story, my own projects. I went in and out as I pleased and could turn it on and off like a light switch. It was so. much. fun. and I was so, so lucky to have had the privilege of such a talent.

Back then, I used to ache and hunger for a challenge. Things were smooth and easy and fun, but I wanted MORE - harder exercises, deeper questions, more challenging teachers. When I told my father about that, he smiled and said

“Be happy. You have put so much work into this. This is the moment it’s all paying off - you’ve turned and turned and turned your wheel and now it’s running smoothly along the street without even noticing how uneven the ground is.”

He was right, of course, but as time went on, I became more and dissatisfied with my smooth little wheel and started to procrastinate more and more. Why? And, again: where does the pleasure at procrastinating come from?

I’d argue that there are two main factors and one huge reason:

FACTOR 1: The wheel didn’t deliver on its promises

I already mentioned this in the very first post, but basically: disillusionment. I loved working hard, but I also expected it to pay off at some point. However, apart from the occasional pat on the head from a teacher or my parents’ smiles, there wasn’t all that much to be gained. There were no harder exercises, no special treatments, no big revelations - even university, my very last bastion of hope turned out to be a glorified bouncy castle.
I was just bored and the work I put into it wasn’t worth the outcome anymore. The system had failed me.

FACTOR 2: Suddenly, there were a lot of wheels

It is easy to glorify my younger self, but, really, child-me had it a lot easier.
Child-me only had one wheel to spin (school) and as I grew older, I realized that there were, well, many other wheels I had neglected.
I had a lot of catching up to do in areas like empathy, charisma, self-confidence and self-worth outside of academia, humour and fashion. And when I left school, there were even MORE wheels: suddenly, I also had to keep my job, my apartment, my much more complicated social life, my manifold hobbies and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule going.
I wasn’t prepared for this abundance of wheels. I’d grown up thinking that as long as I could keep the one wheel I was good at spinning (academia), I’d be juuuuust dandy. Well, I was wrong and I realized that, once again the system had failed me.

If only I’d had better teachers. If only I’d listened to the good ones. If only I’d worked the problem earlier. If only I was part of a better system that would recognize and foster my talents. Who knows how much I could achieve? Who knows how much I could have ALREADY achieved?

And that’s where the pleasure of procrastination comes from.
It is defiance. It is rebellion. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the system that failed me. It is a “Look at me! I’m operating outside the system and I’m STILL getting semi-good grades. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need any of this. I’m playing by MY rules. I’m getting shit done MY way. Because YOUR way disappointed me. Because I am FREE.”

If, at this point, you’re starting to feel sorry for me (or yourself for being in a similar situation) …that’s exactly the problem. There’s really no way to say this nicely, so here we go:

PROCRASTINATION IS NO MORE AND NO LESS THAN A GLORIFIED VICTIM COMPLEX.

Let me explain.
When you procrastinate, doesn’t it feel like you HAVE TO do things? Like you’re being FORCED to do something? Like you’re POWERLESS? Like you’re STUCK? Like you’re SUFFERING? Like you’re AT THE MERCY of your negative thoughts, the system or you’re conscience? Like you’re being WHIPPED AROUND? Like you crave recognition of your SUFFERING? Like you don’t have a choice except RUNNING AWAY and not facing what you’re FORCED to face?

All of these thoughts and emotions put you in the position of a sufferer - a victim.

You see yourself as a victim of the system, the school, the state, the assignment you should be working on. You deliver yourself unto their power. You submit to a simple dichotomy: I HAVE to do this or I SHOULD FEEL like shit.
I HAVE to do this, so I MUST suffer and accept the infringement of my freedom.

Well, let me tell you something that just about changed my life when I fully, deeply and profoundly realized the truth behind these words:

YOU 
DON’T 
HAVE
TO 
DO 
SHIT. 


…or a bit more eloquently put:

You’re the one in control.

No, honestly. You are. 

If you wanted to, you could throw it all into the wind, take the next train to nowhere and see where life takes you. But do you want to do that? 
And, the even bigger question: why do you feel SO powerless that this small, stupid act of rebellion against The System is enough to intoxicate you SO much that you keep coming back to suckle on its sweet, sweet bitter nectar?

It’s because you feel trapped. It’s because you feel lost. 
It’s because you feel like you have so much potential and it’s all going to FUCKING waste and if somebody were to just give you a FUCKING hand you could really show everybody just how much you can FUCKING do and-

-let me stop you right there and let me ask you 4 questions:

QUESTION 1)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are …but what’s the use of your intelligence if you can’t use it to improve your own life?

If you’re anything like me, you find it very easy and rewarding to help other people with their problems. You easily see the roots of problems and the ways that conflicts could be resolved. You’re an excellent trouble-shooter and a strategist in video games and for your friends… but what about your own life? Why do you ACCEPT playing the role of the victim in your own life?

Why do you accept this suffering?

Long story short: because you’ve grown used to it.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to make active choices, to exert your full agency and to take full responsibility for whatever mess might come of it. Leading me to…

Question 2)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but what’s the use of your intelligence if you don’t take anything seriously?

Be honest: when was the last time you took anything seriously and gave it your all? …no? Nothing?


Well, if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know the neat excuse of “eh, I was just winging it, but if I REALLY tried-” and do you know what that is? It’s cowardice and it’s self-victimization.

I know I’m coming on very strong.
But the truth is this: I know this. I know this because I’ve been living this. I’ve been living a second-hand life that I allowed to be ruled by “the system” and guilt and made-up obligations …and I almost lost myself in the process.

Maybe you can realize it with me: It’s some time ago, I wake up in the middle of the night and randomly feel like taking an IQ test online. I’m still half-asleep, I roll onto my stomach, I don’t even sit up, I meander my way through the questions. Shit. I realize that time is running out and I haven’t even finished ¾ of the questions! I panick. I feel guilty. I finally sit up. I start trying harder. I’m getting faster and faster - faster than I ever thought possible. And despite 5 minutes of good effort - 
I fail. Hard.
And as I sit there in my dark room, my unbelievably sucky result glowing on the screen of my mobile phone and I look out of the window, I realize: this has been my life for the past 5 years. Winging stuff at not even 50% of my capacity and being hurt by the results. Honestly, when WAS the last time I took anything really seriously? 

The next day, I get 8 hours of sleep, sit down in front of my laptop with a bottle of water, search for the most professional IQ test I can find and concentrate from the very beginning. I score 30 points higher. 

Let me repeat that: I scored 30 points higher on an IQ test because I actually tried. Magical things can happen if you take stuff seriously.

Leading us to

Question 3)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but when was the last time your intelligence has brought you joy?

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “The burnt child dreads the fire”? When I thought back on my academic progress in the last years, I realized that there really hadn’t been much joy anywhere. Pretty much everything had sucked. 

Big time.

Of course I wouldn’t want to invest my energy into something that didn’t yield any good results … right?

Wrong. My lack of good results was only an indicator for the real problem: my lack of effort.
The simple truth is this: 
We are smart. We enjoy doing what we are good at. We enjoy hard mental work, REGARDLESS of the results.
But once I started to focus too much on the results and thought it was all about having a great CV and min-maxing my grades… I just didn’t have fun anymore. I didn’t allow myself to have fun anymore. To disappear into a world of thoughts like I used to as a child. To invest way too much time into a project, to have an absolute BLAST creating something complex and outstanding and super cool. 

Bringing us to…

Question 4) 
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but can you really create something extraordinary?

See that’s the thing: when I was a child, I didn’t just take school seriously.
I wanted to go the extra mile. 
And honestly? That was the whole secret. I wanted to create something that wasn’t just special but mind-blowingly special. It’s not like I knew I had it in me, but rather that I wanted grow to have more and more in me and I knew that the only way to do that was to challenge myself again and again.
That’s the difference between viewing your intelligence and your capabilities as stagnant or growing. There is no joy and no truth in regarding yourself as stagnant - the best of violin players started out sounding like a dying cat and the best athletes kept stumbling. If you want to create and become something extraordinary, you need to know that it will not happen overnight. You need to know that it will be a slow, hard and challenging hike up a hill and the only thing that keeps you climbing is your willingness to go the extra mile so you can see the view become more and more beautiful.

The real pleasure of studying is not getting good results and bragging rights - that’s just a cool side-effect. The real pleasure of studying is studying and that means working and knowing that working gets you one step ahead one step at a time.

So HOW can you change? HOW can you regain control? How can you consciously go from limbo to flow?
First of all:

1) RECLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PASSION

The first thing I tell myself in the morning is “My life is in my hands.”
That’s not always an easy sentence to start with, especially if I haven’t slept well or if I’m sick or in the middle of a fight or an existential crisis or just crabby.
But it’s always true. It’s MY life and it’s my responsibility to make the best of it. 

One poem in particular has really helped me, so who knows, maybe it’ll help some of you guys as well:

The Vow

No matter how deep the sadness or wide the pain,
I vow to live for a brighter day will come again.

No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past,
I vow to live and in the future avoid them, surefooted and fast.

No matter how many tragedies beyond my control take place,
I vow to live and stay my course within this race.

No matter how poor or rich I may ever be,
I vow to live and aspire to search for the dignity in simplicity.

No matter how much a lover may pierce the inner core of my heart,
I vow to live for like spring I’ll get a new start.

No matter how isolated and alone I may feel,
I vow to live and do something for someone else to heal.

No matter how hopeless my situation my appear,
I vow to live and reflect until my viewpoint is clear.

No matter what happens in this life – good or bad
I vow to live, do my best, and just for living – be glad.

– Malcolm O. Varner

If you want to find pleasure in studying again, you need to embrace your own passion.
I know it’s a lot “cooler” to be indifferent towards studying, to procrastinate, to do it almost out of spite and at the last minute. But is it really?
No one wins. It’s not rewarding. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll have forgotten it in a week. It just sucks for everyone involved. Love what you do. Love it like you would a lover. Be considerate, be tender and be patient.
It must not feel like an obligation. It must feel like a passion - a fiery want for new horizons, mentals fireworks and lightbulb moments. It must come from yourself, from your bowels, your fibres, your blood - not from some ominous outside force. 

“I have to do this.” -> “I want to do this!”
“I’m losing time. There is so much I have to do, I want to be done with this already.” -> “I want to give this my time. This is absolutely worth it. I really want to be doing this right now.”
“Be fast. Be faster.” -> “Slow down. Be patient. Cherish this moment.”
“This is hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.” -> “This is challenging. I love it. I love it so much.”
“I can make this perfect, it has to be perfect! I could give this my all, I can give this my all. If I’m not giving this my all, I’m a complete and utter failure. Better not try at all rather than screwing it up. Again.”   -> “This is a work-in-progress, just like anything else. I am sure I can improve it bit by bit, by devoting some of my time to it. Even if I don’t get very far today, I’m sure the experience will pay off in the long run and I might find some unrelated ideas for other projects!”

You must go from this:

To that:

2) MAKE ACTIVE CHOICES.

(Like, maybe make the choice NOT to wear that speedo)

Because that’s really what it comes down to in the end: CHOICE. Nobody actively chooses to procrastinate. Procrastination is the absence of choice. 

Years of little to no success make you feel like your choices don’t matter -> you feel like you cannot influence anything -> you might as well not try -> you procrastinate.
But here’s the thing: your choices DO matter (DITCH that speedo!) and you must regain that trust in yourself.

We NEED to be able to make choices about their own lives. It makes us feel powerful and like we are truly alive.
It makes us feel like we are, you guessed it, in the flow.

Now, of course it’d be nice if I told you “Make conscious choices sweaty <3 ;*” and you’d go out and do it and that was it. But, truth be told, it’s hella hard to get there and it will take you at least a year of constant effort.
For me, this year meant constantly asking myself “Wait, do I REALLY want to do this right now?” and establishing a neat rule for all media consumption that goes “Always enrichment, never escape”. But, as I said, that’s a work-in-progress and something that you will have to work on in your own time and at your own pace.
Luckily, I found a shortcut :D

Now, the shortcut does not replace the year of constant effort, mind you, but it can help to make it a lot easier:

THE STUDY ROOM

What’s the “Study Room”? Well…
You might have been wondering what the title “Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself” is all about. This was my thought process:

  • 1) I want to get from limbo to flow
  • 2) And I want studying to feel like a reward in and of itself
  • 3) And it’d be nice if I could concentrate on just spinning one wheel at a time, so I can really lose myself in it
  • 4) I also want it to be a conscious choice, so I can train my decision-making process
  • ….
  • ….but how?
  • …”fake it till you make it” or what, haha?
  • ….I guess what that really means is that you have to act like you’re already there until you’re there?
  • …so, like, you have to artifically induce naturalness?
  • …haha, wouldn’t it be neat if I could do that and “transform” into my “study-form” like the Avatar or a magical girl or a superhero or something?
  • …..
  • …wait. Wait. WAIT. What if I COULD?
  • What if there was a “me” that was specifically always in the flow and already loves and is good at studying and which I only access whenever I want to study?
  • So I create a new “me”, so that, over time, we can become one again and I can change into that “me” whenever I want?
  • …cool.
  • …but how?
  • I could always go to a special place, but that would limit me whenever that place wasn’t availabe.
  • …buuuuuut…..
  • …..what if it was a place I could ALWAYS access?
  • what if it was a place in my MIND?
  • ….
  • …..holy SHIT.

And that’s how the “Study Room” was born. Below, I will detail the journey to my personal “study room”, but I wager that everybody’s study room will look a little different depending on what makes you feel most comfortable, rational and “in the flow”.

STEP 1 - DETACH FROM LIMBO

Close your eyes. Lean back.
Do it with me now. Consider this your tutorial. Bring yourself to a screeching halt, throw an anchor into the the ground of the stormy sea, pull the brakes, just - stop. Stop. Slow down.
Close your eyes, lean back, keep your eyes closed for a good minute - god, how long a minute can be, right?- and feel your breathing consciously, slowly, feel how you are alive and full of hunger, feel how your heart beats, feel how much tension has built up inside of you, how much energy has been stored and how much you actually ache to do something meaningful. Feel it. Keep your eyes closed until you feel it. Then, come back to me.

STEP 2 - BECOME AWARE OF REALITY

I don’t know if you’ll need this step, but I live very much inside my head and limbo just makes that effect even stronger. So, I like to remind myself of my physicality, of my spatial realness, of my ability to perceive and interact with the world in this step. I re-connect with the world and it slows me down even more - it’s a bit like hooking myself into this world, so limbo can’t claim me so easily.
I drink a glass of water, I eat a carrot, I touch a cold tile, I feel the texture of a pillow, I play with my own hair - if I’m in public, like in a library, I usually just brush over my lips or grip the table unobtrusively. It’s a small step, one that usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but it’s one that has helped me a lot.

(When I’m really caught up in limbo, I usually lie down on the floor in my room. That works wonders)

STEP 3 - ENTER YOUR STUDY PLACE

At this point, I close my eyes again and visualize. I enter another world, the world of studying in my mind.

STEP 3A - THE DOOR

My eyes are still closed and imagine a dark, circular room: this is the entrance to my Study Room ™. I stand in the middle of the room - there is one door right in front of me, two to my left and two to my right. I have no idea what’s behind those other doors or why my imagination has conjured up a room like that, but hey, it works and here we are.
I gather all my concentration and repeat “My life is in my hands. I take on the responsibility for my own life. I WANT to learn. I CHOOSE this.” to myself. Then, I consciously choose to walk in only one direction, channeling all my thoughts into a straight line: towards the door right in front of me. I enter through it - somehow, I never have to actually open it, so it might be more like an open doorway?

STEP 3B - THE WATER

I step through the door and find myself in a space filled with water. I have absolutely no trouble breathing and I can easily swim, turn, glide and spiral like a dolphin. The water washes the last remnants of limbo off me, I feel my tensions washing away, my mind waking up, the wheel starting to move, my chest feeling lighter, my heart feeling hotter, my breathing going slow and steady. I swim in this liminal space for as long as I need to, I revel, I breathe, I wallow, I luxuriate until I feel ready to emerge from the water.
(wonder what psychologists would say about this little ritual - is it a literal re-birth? is this the womb? who knows? it works and that’s good enough for me right now …now that I think about it, that beach scene from Gravity might have been an inspiration. Man, I loved that movie already, but that ending?? Aaaaanyway, moving on…)

STEP 3C - THE WORLD

Then, I swim upwards and emerge from the water, head-first. The sun is warm and shines on my head and I step out of the water with bare feet, toes curling around grass and my lungs breathing in fresh forest air. Somewhere, a bird is singing, white clouds are languidly drifting by, all is warm, comfortable and good. I sit down on a giant mushroom by a tree (hey, don’t ask me, I don’t know), take a last deep breath and put pen to paper.
At this point, I open my eyes in the real world. I am completely relaxed, a thousand miles away from limbo, in another dimension even, calm and happy to engage with questions and wonders.

I’m in the flow.

In this world, I am a different me. A “study-me”.
In time, this me and I will merge again and we have already merged quite a bit. My walk through the Study Room process has become faster and faster and I am quite certain that, in time, it won’t take longer than a fraction of a second and it will seem like I can switch my flow on and off again like I used to. My study wheel is rolling again.

But if yours isn’t just yet, then …this is it. This is how, this is why and this is the very moment I re-connect with my “study values”, my passion and my agency, again and again and I choose to do it. Again. And again.


It is, really, all about choice.

And that’s the advantage I have over the old me. The old me studied because I didn’t know anything else and because I thought that I had to. 
The me right now chooses to study because I want to. And that makes it ten times more effective, more freeing and more fun.

So run wild, enjoy, actively enter that world of studying in your head, no matter what yours might look like (rain? palm trees? other planet? go bonkers!), it’s about choosing this and wanting this. It is about YOU saying “Yes, there are other interesting things and wheels out there, but right here, right now, I want this, nothing else and I will give it all of myself for as long as I want to.”

As you might have guessed by the gifs, I really recommend watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club if you’re interested in overcoming procrastination.
(I swear I’m not sponsored by KyoAni, but for all their other shortcomings, their characters always have amazing character arcs when it comes to professionalism and passions) Both Rin and Haru are caught in their own versions of limbo and following Rin’s journey in Season 1 and Haru’s journey in Season 2 really helped me realize a lot of things about my own life and about how I dealt with passion, talent and my career.

The last part of this series will include a Q&A, so if there is something you didn’t quite understand or are unsure about, something you’d like to add or recommend to others, something you’d like me to explain in more detail or demonstrate through other examples, please, just write me a message (my inbox is absolutely open!) and I will answer it in Part 5 :)

Thank you for coming along on this ride! I hope some of my thoughts could help you and please, do let me know if my methods work for you - I’d love to know! :D 

Your life is in your hands,

-studyinstyle

All My Love

MASTERLIST

A/N: I’m not happy with this, so I’m probably taking it down again but here goes a try. 

Word Count: 3,013

Originally posted by shxwnmendess


”Shawn? Shawn? Are you even listening to me at all?” I muttered, glancing over at Shawn in the passenger seat. 

I turned down John Mayer’s calming voice singing to us through the stereo in the jeep. My eyes fell on Shawn late enough for him to jerk up his head and quickly pop his eyes open. Confused and sleepy. For short moment probably wondering where on earth he was. 

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The Hound was right, she thought, I am only a little bird, repeating the words they taught me. (Sansa, AGOT)

Arry was a fierce little boy with a sword, and I’m just a grey mouse girl with a pail. (Arya, ACOK)

i like the contrast between these two personas. sansa has always been courteous and pretty but its not until kings landing that her natural disposition becomes her  tools for survival. even after the lannisters betray and abuse sansa she’s expected to be joffreys grateful betrothed. she has to smile and dress well and say everything that is required of her. 

arya adopts a somewhat similar persona when she’s a prisoner in harrenhal. she becomes a mouse, nonthreatening and vulnerable, just like her sister. the major differences are defined by status. while sansa is in a cage for display arya is in a maze wheres she’s just another pow. sansa recites pretty words arya quietly observes. arya wears scratchy grey clothes, sleeps in straw, and scrubs harrenhal until her hands bleed. 

Sansa stalked away with her head up. She was to be a queen, and queens did not cry. At least not where people could see. (Sansa, AGOT)

I won’t cry, she thought, I won’t do that. I’m a Stark of Winterfell, our sigil is the direwolf, direwolves don’t cry. (Arya, ACOK)

sansa rarely compares herself to any animals and even when she thinks she’s a little bird its not even her own thought. animals are not particularly relevant to her experiences. she prefers things like songs and social status. her bird-esque behavior also predates her hostage crisis and exists after the fact. this is another huge difference. arya constantly uses animals as symbols throughout her journey. but the direwolf is the one she always comes back to in the end. 

I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth. (Arya, ACOK)

Be brave, she told herself. Be brave, like a lady in a song. (Sansa, ASOS)

again, this is reflected in their castle(/prison) escapes. arya relies on her wolf instincts for survival. but those would have little use in sansa’s situation. i think another factor her is that arya’s actually been inside a wolfs head. she is connected to nymeria, body and soul. sansa’s bond to lady was severed before she got inside her wolf’s head. but ultimately i think its just a difference in personality. 

A lady remembered her courtesies, and she was resolved to be a lady no matter what. (Sansa, AGOT)

I’m not a lady, Arya wanted to tell her, I’m a wolf. (Arya, ASOS)

BTS Reaction to Falling In Love With You At First Sight

Requested by Anonymous, “beautiful being sent from above, may I request a reaction to the boy falling for you at first glance?”

Note; DONT MAKE ME BLUSH, lol here ya go! <3


Jin ➳ And there you were, looking bummy yet amazing once you walked through the doors of the restaurant the boys were attending, being sat down a few feet away from them yet he just couldn’t tear his gaze away from you. You were beautiful, prepossessing, and although he wanted to do anything to approach you he just couldn’t, only settling on engraving your beauty into his mind forever fore he was way too shy.

“Aw,” Taehyung mewled, pinching Jin’s cheeks as the older began to smile, “someone is in love.”

And he couldn’t be anymore right.

Originally posted by bwiseoks


Suga ➳ It was when something alerted him to turn around, and on instinct he listened, abruptly bumping into you as he quickly grabbed your hand to stop you from falling, apologizing over and over again and once he looked you in the eyes, time froze.

There was something about you, something that had his feelings arising from the dead and engulfing him whole, his cheeks flushing hysterically as he laughed softly to himself, because really, how coincidental could this be?

This wasn’t mere soft romance, this was reality. “I—what’s your number?”

Originally posted by yoonmin


J-Hope ➳ Being bored out of his mind, he wanted to take a break off everything and just take pictures and film the beauty that resided in this world we call earth. His camera dangled from his neck, and as he turned it on to find a beautiful patch of flowers right before a small pond, he quickly zoomed in only to settle on something he didn’t see in the shot before, on something that was clearly you.

His heart flew into the sky, screaming at him that yes, you are the one, the one to fulfill his duties, his life, his soul; and once you looked up to lock gazes with his, he winked towards you without thinking as you quickly looked away and awkwardly left the scene.

Originally posted by hobipd


RapMonster ➳ He was dreading going to work, but when he saw you, he was glad he did. Here he was, watching someone as gorgeous as you trip quite elegantly with the papers clutched in your hands were sent flying into every direction. He couldn’t help but giggle at how much of a klutz you were, you looking around hoping no one saw but to your dismay, you saw a handsome man laugh at your state.

He walked up to you while helping you organize the papers once again, and once he handed them you you and you thanked him, he smiles. “We should hangout sometime.”

And when you nodded, flashing him a cheeky grin, he knew he had fallen in love with you at first sight.

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned


Jimin ➳ “Yeah, can I get–” and he froze.

You blinked towards him, tilting your head to the side in confusion when his eyes blasted open, staring into your soul and wondering what these emotions erupting inside his heart were, wondering why someone he just saw clearly had made such an impact on him. In his eyes, you weren’t the café employee but a gem, a key he had finally found that would be able to unlock his heart — and he couldn’t be anymore happier.

He was nervous, biting his lip before smiling at the realization at falling in love with someone he just met, soon being way too shy to even order but still doing so only to hear your voice once again.

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin


V ➳ He was sitting at the bus stop, staring ahead at the busy streets when he had suddenly felt something warm press against the back of his hand which was quickly retracted before he could register it in his brain. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” He heard, quickly snapping his vision to the melodious voice before it could disappear.

That was when he saw you, a beautiful young human being flushed a deep red, staring to him with eyes that told a story he wanted to learn so bad. He was laughing, becoming flustered as he looked away because really, why was he feeling like he had to put a ring on your finger right then and there?

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned


Jungkook ➳ “Kookie, come meet my childhood friend!” Jimin had called him over, holding his phone to make sure you had a clear view of the both of them through your video chatting. Jungkook walked over to the older, looking closer to the screen only to lock eyes with yours.

“Damn,” Jungkook muttered, earning a small chuckle from the boy beside him before his eyes widened as he tried to correct his wording, “I mean..um, hello!” The boy was way too entranced, if your pixel self from a screen can render him speechless, then who know what could happen to his poor heart once he met you in person. He was suddenly happy, soon taking the phone from the owner’s hands as he began to talk to you without letting his shyness get the better of him.

Originally posted by saranghaemyoppas


Masterlist

Midnight Memories // The Color Of My World Part Two [A Stiles Stilinski Soulmate AU]

Series Masterlist

Relationships: Stiles Stilinski x Reader/Stiles Stilinski x OFC/Theo Raeken x Reader/Theo Raeken x OFC

Warnings: Making Out, A Smug Stiles Stilinski Talking About Sex, Swearing, Physical and Verbal Violence, Abusive Relationship, AND REALLY FUCKING ADORABLE STILES STILINSKI SERIOUSLY HE IS SUCH A CUTIE YOU’LL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM ALL OVER AGAIN.

Word Count: 6,168  

Song: Kid In Love by Shawn Mendes (The lyrics are so spot on it’s actually kind of terrifying)

A/N: Thank you so much for loving part one y’all. Here’s part two that also ends with another cliffhanger because I’m addicted to making you guys go crazy lol

“Oh, shit.” Stiles gasped, letting go of me as I stood on my own.

The room remained full of life and color even though he was no longer touching me. My skin, however, felt lost without Stiles. His touch left a lingering burn in my body and I was already craving it again. I longed for someone I just met and, for some reason, it felt right.

“W-We’re-” I stuttered, my mind completely overwhelmed with what we just discovered.

“Soulmates.” He finished my sentence, his warm colored eyes piercing into mine.

Stiles Stilinski, the boy my boyfriend secretly despises, is my soulmate. It’s funny just how sadistic the universe really is.

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The Fitting (Part 13)

(Secrets are getting harder to keep and Jungkook’s jealousy and insecurity are taking a toll on him.) 

Warnings:  9500+ words.  Oral. Intercourse.  A little more realism than I think some people will be expecting.  


You didn’t want him.  At least not tonight.

 That thought rattled through Jungkook’s mind as he sat in the back of the taxi on his way home.  You had refused him because you wanted to be alone.  Because you weren’t in the mood.  Jungkook closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat while he tried to process what had just happened.  You had refused him before, when you were worried about being caught by others at work, but you always made arrangements to sleep with him later.  Tonight was different.  Tonight you refused him, not because you were afraid of being seen, but because you simply didn’t want him.

 It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  Jungkook had planned this first date so carefully, making sure to take you to an out of the way neighborhood so you could relax and not worry about being seen.  He picked the most expensive restaurant in that neighborhood for dinner because he wanted to show you he could appreciate the finer things, that he had money to spend on you, that he wanted to treat you like you were special.  He read dozens of movie reviews before picking that stupid, boring foreign film where everyone was rambling on with lengthy speeches about god-knows-what and all the money was spent on costumes and none on special effects.  

He hated those kinds of movies, but he knew you loved them and the most important thing was that you have a good time.  And you really did seem to be having a good time.  

 Meeting your cousin had been an unexpected hiccup at the beginning of the night – but Jungkook was actually grateful for it.  Although the interaction was uncomfortably awkward, meeting her meant that the relationship was one step closer to being public.  One person close to you now knew your secret.  Jungkook anxiously awaited the day when everyone close to the both of you knew that you were a couple.

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anonymous asked:

Mermaid AU's for OTP's?

  • Character A has always had an intense fear of the ocean. They grew up hearing stories of creatures that lured humans in and drowned them. Character B has always been fearful of the land. They were taught to be cautious of the humans, or risk being captured. One day, Character B gets caught in a net and calls out, drawing in Character A. They both must work through their distrust to get Character B free.
  • “I’ve lived in this lake since I was born, and I’m not going to let a bunch of landwalkers come take it over for the summer, even if you seem nice enough and- wow… really cute” AU
  • Character A is the only heir to the throne and is being pressured into finding royal suitor. Thing is, Character A doesn’t want to get married. So, to spite their parents, Character A seeks out the royal mermaid that frequents the shore. Their parents never said rhe suitor had to be human.
  • “Mermaids’ tails change color when they blush, but you don’t know that’s why it’s happening and so you keep stroking it in fascination, and so it keeps changing colors. I don’t know if I want you to stop or not” AU
  • It was rumored that a siren could only be drawn in by another siren if they were destined by fate to be together. Character A is a siren that traded their tail for legs years ago, but then hears a beautiful voice from the ocean, telling them to go back.
  • “You have to stay quiet, because the people of my village are on a hunt for you, but they have no idea that I’m hiding you in my bathtub. Thank god I live alone” AU
  • Character A comes from a long line of merfolk that can transform into humans, but they have to turn back about once a month, or else they get incredibly sick. Character A was busy with school and work and forgot about visiting the lake until they collapsed and woke in the hospital. Now they have to somehow convince the nurse to either let then go or take them to the lake.
  • “I sing when I’m bored and one day, you showed up. Now you think I’m going to try to drown you, but I’m actually just feeling really lonely, wanna hang out?” AU
I Can’t Lose Her

Part 1 (It’s really not that necessary to read it to understand what’s going on); Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5


Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Reader

Summary: Your parents gave you up so you had no choice but to become his wife.

Genre: Mafia AU, angst

Word count: 4,334 I went all out with this one 😂

Originally posted by sehunicorne

Jongdae’s POV


8 years ago

“Jongdae take a look at this,” my father said handing me a file with a bunch of papers in it.

“Darling, I don’t think you should show him this yet, he’s too young,” my mother interrupted.

“He’s has to take over the family business sooner or later, besides he already knows a lot of stuff, might as well learn how to deal with the ones indebted to us.”

My mother didn’t say anything just looked at me and went out of the room. I picked up the file and opened it. It wasn’t a big case, just some husband and wife who owns my father money because of gambling in one of his casinos. I have no idea why he would give me this, it seemed boring. My father noticed that.

“They don’t owe me that much compared to some other big shots but what I really dislike about them is the fact that they tried to run away…”

I wondered what he meant before I turned the page and saw that they’re now in completely different city. What fools. Do they really think they can escape my father this easily, he has eyes everywhere and they’re just amateurs. I understood that my father probably wants to go pay them a visit and I would gladly accompany him. I turned another page to see what they look like and to my surprise they had daughters. The older one in particular caught my attention, even though her face was expressionless, her features were delicate. I took the photo out.

“What about them?” I asked him, he picked up the picture and looked at it closely.

“We can use them to our advantage. Threatening is always easier when they have family members to worry of,” my father started laughing creepily, something that even made me feel unsettling. He stood up and called one of the drivers before gesturing for me to follow him.

“Are we actually going there now?” I questioned and he nodded. I got into the back seat of the car and checked my clock. We will probably arrive there in about 4 hours. I didn’t speak to my father anything else because honestly I preferred not to know what he’s planning. The car ride there felt like it will never end but once we were there I somehow started getting nervous. It was already dark outside and as soon as my father’s men began sprinting up the stairs the nervousness was soon replace by a pure sense of adrenaline. They kicked the door to one of the apartments open and went inside, searching for inhabitants, I wanted to go help them but my father told me to stay in the back. I saw how they ushered one man and three women to the tiny living room. I wondered how could somebody live in a place like this. My father steeped out from the shadows and I could already hear the two parents whimpering.

“Please, you have got it all wrong,” the man said.

“We were planning on paying you back,” the woman continued.

“Shut up,” my father said, pushing the two girls so they were on their knees, facing their parents. Even though their backs were to me, I immediately recognized the older one. I watched her hair go down her back and as she straighten herself I had to control my urge to come up to her.

“Please enlighten me how I’m wrong,” my father continued to mock them. “Because you clearly thought you can get away with all of the money I gave you. That’s not how this works.”

They all stayed silent for a moment and I heard another sob. It wasn’t from her though. She took the younger ones hand and whispered something to her.

“So what should I do with you all?” he asked expecting me to answer.

“Scare them a little?” I replied not sure if that’s the answer he wanted.

“Great idea!” he said, setting the gun against the back of her head. And then the quiet cries started again but by the way she was still kneeling I knew none of it is from her. She just squeezed the younger ones hand more tightly and I heard her mother say that everything is going to be okay but all of us knew it won’t and I don’t know what was going on in my head at that moment, I never dared defy my father like that.

“Wait!” I shouted and he turned to me, I had to say what I wanted quickly to avoid annoying him further. “Not this one,” I finally spoke. “The other,” I said, pointing to the younger one.

“As you wish,” my father said. I saw her turn to her sister in an attempt to stop him but the shot was already fired and only the echoes of the sound resonated along the room. Everyone was dead silent as they watched the body fall to the ground.

“Let’s go,” my father said, already going to the door. My eyes met hers seemingly for a split second but I could already see how they turned from frightened to pure hatred as she went to her sister’s lifeless body. I heard her cry for the first time as she held it. I quickly turned around. I have no idea why but extreme guilt washed over me.

“Shit,” I thought to myself going out. I couldn’t get the powerful look she gave me out of my head.  I realized that at that moment I fell in love with her.


6 year, 4 months

For the next almost two years there wasn’t a day I didn’t think about her. I wanted to meet her so badly but I knew it would never be possible after what happened. I spent my days gathering all the information I could possibly get on her. Her name especially stuck with me. I remember attending her sister’s funeral and watching her from one of the trees from a distance. Even being so far away from here I could see she had no emotion on her face. I knew that this is partly my fault but I never felt more grateful that my father listened to me on that day. After a few months, I found out that she started working to help repay her parents debts. Whenever I went to the café she worked at I was always too scared to go inside, thinking she will recognize me. At this point I knew I’m becoming quite obsessed with her but I just had to see her. Get closer somehow. My father’s health got significantly worse and I had to take care of a lot of more things nowadays but I had inside eyes even in her school. I felt like trashing the office I already had when I found out that someone is actually bullying her. I had to go there myself. Luckily on that day she wasn’t even at school. I chuckled when I saw how everyone stared at me as I pulled up in an expensive car in front of the building. I went straight to the principal and him knowing my father, well promised not to interfere. I slammed the door to her classroom open and called the bullies out. They of course didn’t want to go anywhere with me but just with a snap of my fingers, my father’s men were already at them.  Their squirms of pain and asks for forgiveness were music to my ear, as I tortured them myself in one the warehouses owned by us. Every day I was getting more and more like my father. I wondered if she ever found out where they suddenly disappeared to. I couldn’t let her be in that school anymore, so after a long argument I finally won and she was supposed to get transferred by getting a scholarship to the private school I attended. I could barely contain my excitement at the thought of seeing her more often.


4 years ago

It made me quite happy to know that she’s the introverted type. Less guys approached her, less trouble for them and for me. I have heard that she needed some really persuasive convincing so she would actually go this school. Knowing her, it didn’t surprise me she found this suspicious. I stared at her from the third floor window, reading a book by one of the trees. She looked as beautiful as ever. Our uniform fit her well.

“Are you watching her again?” Baekhyun approached me. “Man, you’re so creepy.”

“Shut up, it’s none of your business.”

He raised his hands in defence.

“Relax, I’m not taking her, even though she’s a great catch but seeing how everything is going, you’re not going to get her anytime soon either,” he laughed but I quickly silenced him with a punch to his stomach. He fell down on the floor and I lifted him up by the collar.

“You dare say something like that about her again.”

“No need to get violent. Anyone would be stupid to try to do that. Do you think I want to die? You’re scary when you’re jealous,” he said swatting my hand away and standing up. “Speaking about that. I heard that some guy from her class confessed to her the other day, she rejected him though-“

But I wasn’t listening anymore. How dare someone do that. I knew who it was. I saw him trying to get all friendly with her. Luckily it was still lunch break, I went to his table and dragged him away. I saw how frightened he got by the second. I was known as quite the scary one in the school, I just hoped that rumour never reached her.

“What, what is it?” he asked me when I slammed him to the wall in one of the corners. I didn’t say anything just took his arm and began twisting. He screamed in pain.

“Did you talk to Y/N the other day?”

“Y/N? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I twisted his arm to the opposite direction a bit more.

“Okay yes. Yes I was.”

“She’s mine,” I told him as I finally heard the bone snap. He cried out in pain and fell to the floor. “You won’t tell anyone about this unless, you have a death wish,” I said, showing him my gun.

I went to the next lesson like nothing happened. I saw Baekhyun glance at me from his table. He asked if I took care of him and I nodded. I had another worry now, my graduation is soon and she still has two years of studying left.


2 years ago

My father’s sudden passing half a year ago left me with complete control of the gang but also all the worry and trouble it came with. Before this I never knew he was associated with the other families and how closely they worked together. I needed to learn again how to cooperate and work for a common goal. The many deals and jobs my father left me with meant that I couldn’t see her as often. I sometimes wondered why she’s still not here by my side. I had so much power in this city yet, I couldn’t just go and kidnap her. At least I knew that she also graduated. I literally thought about staying an extra year in school just to be near her but my mother convinced me otherwise. It made me quite sad when I found out, she never went to pursue a higher education, when she was one of the top graduates. After all these years, her parents never learned and still gambled. Even more so, after what happened. Her heart was too kind, they didn’t deserve her. She worked two jobs just to take care of them and also pay up the debt. I wonder how she felt knowing that she’s sending the money to her sister’s killer. One day thinking about this I came up with a perfect plan to finally make her mine.


9 months ago

“You know it will never work,” Minseok said as soon as I explained to him what I was planning. “She will find out sooner or later.”

Every single one of them told me that. Why did I even bother explaining. I’m going to go through with it anyway. I have been waiting for so long as it is.

“Then I better make sure she doesn’t,” I said, putting my jacket on and going to the door.

“Jongdae don’t be stupid, she’s just a girl…”

“She’s special. You haven’t seen her on that day.”

I knew why they didn’t like this idea from the start, it was mostly because they didn’t want me to get hurt by her or get hurt while protecting her. Stupid reasons. I called my family’s lawyer and he promised to get the documents ready by the end of the month. I went back to my apartment and fell down on the bed. The room next to mine was still empty but I could already imagine her being there.


5 months ago

I picked up the papers and the photos I gathered of her throughout all these years. I wanted to burn them, get rid of them but I somehow couldn’t bring myself to do it. She looked so pretty and cute in all of them. I opened the secret drawer and put all of them in there. Today was the day. Her parents agreed to meet me as soon as I told them what I want. They welcomed me warmly and they nodded eagerly when I told them I’m willing to pay off their debt. It disgusted me how easily they accepted my offer to exchange money for their daughter, I tried not to show them this because I was also extremely happy everything is going so well. They didn’t question why I’m even doing this and that was enough for me. As I shook their hands and they signed the papers, I heard the front door of their apartment open. And there she was, almost in the same place I first met her, looking as stunning as ever in her work dress. I stood up immediately and took a few steps to her. She glanced at me then at her parents.

“Who’s this?” she asked, her voice sweet and soothing.

“Y/N this is Jongdae, you will have to come with him,” her mother explained.

“Jongdae?” she questioned and for a second, I thought she will recognize me. “Why should I go with him?”

“We just made a perfect deal and got a lot of money from him,” she was shocked by the answer.

“And you’re selling me off just like that?!” she shouted. “He could be a human trafficker for all I know, how dare you!”

I couldn’t stay here any longer, I needed to get away from her parents before I punched them in the face. I grabbed her by the arm and went to the door.

“Mother,” she cried out.

“Don’t worry Y/N! He promised to take care of you,” she shouted after her.

“Let go of me,” she said, as I took her to the car. She seemed quiet on the outside but I absolutely loved how feisty she actually is. I had no idea how to take her to the headquarters without her escaping, so I handcuffed her to one of the handles inside of the car.

“What the hell are you doing? Is this a kidnapping?” she began trashing around but abruptly stopped when she noticed my gun. I saw that she was at least a bit scared but she tried her best not to show it.

I took her to one of the rooms in the headquarters and sat her on the bed.

“Y/N I want to marry you,” I finally told her. She looked at me in disbelief.

“Are stupid or something? There was no way I’m getting married.”

And so it began. I tried to convince her multiple times and I didn’t know it was even possible but she started to annoy me to no end. Maybe this won’t be as easy as I thought it would be. I came back to the room again after a while and panicked when I couldn’t see her in it. I ran to the bathroom and saw that she’s climbing into the ventilation shaft. That was it. I dragged her out roughly and flung her over my shoulder. I left her downstairs and went to my room to calm down. I shoved everything off my table, it was easier taking it out on something. I knew I can’t show her my temper and how I actually am if I ever want to gain her trust and I needed that but most of all I needed her. I stayed away for a few hours before coming back to her. I signalled my men to leave us alone. I came up to her and saw that she’s sleeping. She looked so adorable I just wanted to pick her up and hold her close. And so I did but she woke up soon after. She stared at me with those beautiful eyes of her and her cheeks turned a cute shade of pink when I complimented her. I felt bad threatening her but she really had no more than two options. Even though I could never kill her. I watched the tears stream down her face. And here I thought I will never see that happening again. I wiped them off and after all these years of waiting, kissed her.


3 months ago

I couldn’t help but chuckle when I told her I stopped locking the door to her room days ago. I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. But she was even more shocked when I told her I’m taking her to party. She was gorgeous in the dress I got her that I froze to my spot. She came up to me and fixed my tie and when she looked up, she seemed so innocent, I couldn’t believe I’m lying to her. I was about to tell her everything right there on the spot, thank God one of my men saved me. I know how much she would hate me if she ever found out the truth and by now, I would probably die if she left me. I still hated the plan they come up with even though it was perfect. She was beautiful, who wouldn’t get distracted by her. I gave her a necklace with a tracker in it and prayed that she won’t get in any trouble so I wouldn’t need to use it. Unfortunately that was not going to happen. When Junmyeon came in and told me that Jimin took her to the roof I completely ignored the deal we were making and everyone in the room and ran out as fast as I can. If he as much as touched her. I don’t care if I get this war started. I kicked the door open and saw that he had her cornered. I would have killed him but somehow I was afraid to shoot someone if front of her, thinking it will trigger something. And I was right when all of it was over and she came to me that night I knew what she dreamt of.


1 month ago

I was trying to convince her to work with me for the past two months. I wanted to keep her nearby but I knew she would never accept it. She hated violence. One day she even asked me about her parents. It surprised me how much she still cared about them. As each day went by after I gave her the key to go out whenever she wanted and I saw her smile more often, it was harder to control myself. I didn’t want to push her but I loved her so much and I wanted her to know that.


Yesterday;  7 am

I woke up early because only now did I remembered that I never got her that wedding ring. What kind of a husband am I. I sat up in my bed and picked up my phone. I already had 3 missed calls. Two from Chanyeol, one from Minseok. What do they want so early in the morning? I had to go find that ring. I peeked inside her room before I went out. She looked so peaceful and cute while she slept. I could never get enough of seeing her this way.


Yesterday; 12 am

I came back after four hours and she still was asleep. I went to my office and checked my phone. 10 more missed calls. I had no plans of talking to them today, no matter how important it was. I took my cheque book and couldn’t help but take a peek at the photos I still had underneath. I still couldn’t believe I got so lucky to finally have her.


Yesterday; 10 pm

I came back as soon as I got the ring and went to the balcony with her. I knew she enjoyed the view. I didn’t know where to start, so I kept quiet for a moment, enjoying her presence.

“Jongdae, did something happen?” she asked me and I saw that she was actually worried. I turned around and practically begged her to let me put the ring on. Now she really was mine and everyone will be able to see that. I couldn’t believe she was just as happy as I am. I took her hands in mine.

 “You may have already noticed it but I’m utterly and extremely in love with you,” I told her and she began blushing. I didn’t know what to expect after that but I certainly didn’t think she would pull me in and kiss me. She kissed me. Herself. I slid my hands down her back to her waist when freaking Minseok came in and ruined the moment. As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I knew one against eleven is not a good fight. I told her not to wait up and kissed her on the forehead before going after Minseok.


Present Day; 6 am

I was so sick of this meeting and all this bullshit. I just wanted to go back home to her and hug her so tight and kiss her all over.

“Jongdae are you listening? I’m not going to repeat it for the third time,” Junmyeon said, pointing at the white board near him.

“Yeah yeah,” I told him. “So what if BTS started to move, do you seriously think we can’t beat them?”

“That’s not the point, they have allies,” he sighed before standing up. “I think we have been discussing this for too long now. The meeting is over. We will meet up later today. Don’t be late, especially you,” he said pointing at me.

I was the first one to get out of the room and was almost running to the elevator when Sehun caught up with me. I really didn’t want to speak with him right now.

“Did you hear?” he asked, stopping me.

“What?”

“Strange. I thought you will be going out for blood by now.”

“Just tell me what it is. I’m in a hurry.”

“There are some rumours going on around in the black market that Jimin issued a reward for someone who will bring Y/N to him,” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Are you serious? I have to get back home. Fast.”


Present Day; 8 am

I kept thinking why would he want her so badly the whole drive from the headquarters. But the want to finish what we started was stronger. I unlocked the door and went inside. I didn’t see here anywhere down stairs, so maybe she was still sleeping. As I was going up I saw that my office door is slightly open.

“Y/N are you in there?” I asked, pushing them. I saw her kneeling behind the table. She looked up at me with those same eyes I saw 8 years ago that turned from frightened to pure anger and hatred.

“Fuck,” was the only thing I could think of. “I fucked up.”

“Care to explain what’s the meaning of this?” she said, coming up and throwing all the papers at me. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. If she found this, she already knew everything. Why the hell I never got rid of them. She took hold of my shirt and tugged at me roughly.

“I only have one thing to ask you,” she said. “Were you really there when my sister was shot to death?”

She stared at me and I kept silent.

“I can’t believe this,” tears already formed in the corner of her eyes. “I can’t believe I was about to fall for a man who is responsible for my sister’s death.”

She let go of me and ran downstairs but I caught up to her.

“Y/N listen, if it wasn’t her it would have been you! I could never let that happen.”

She turned around and slapped me hard across the face. It hurt but I deserved that.

“And who gave you the right to decide?” she shouted and ripped the silver necklace off her neck before running out through the door. Shit if she doesn’t have that on, I won’t be able to find her.

“Y/N!! Baby wait!!”

I chased after her but she was unbelievably fast. I wondered how is that even possible since she was wearing heels. I ran after her for good fifteen minutes when I lost sight of her in the crowds of people. I punched the nearby wall with all my might, making my knuckles bleed.  I set my head against it’s coldness.  It can’t end this way. I can’t lose her now.


~ Part 7 ~

A/N: Dun dun duuuun, turns out Jongdae is an obsessive stalker

Sweet Tooth (Pies and Prejudice)

Summary: Your best friend is Natasha Romanoff, and she’s known to break hearts of many admirers in her wake. When you start working at a local bakery with a blue-eyed baker who has fallen for her, you do what it takes to make sure they both get the sugary-filled romance they deserve. However, things get a little complicated when your own feelings get in the way.

Pairing: Baker!Bucky Barnes x Reader AU

Word Count: 1,260

‘Sweet Tooth’ Masterlist

A/N: For @theassetseyeliner ‘s writing challenge. Your comments and support for this series have given me a ray of sunshine on the rainy days I’ve been going through lately. Thank you so much for that. 

Originally posted by winter-barnes

You sit in your seat in silence as the bus drives to the city center. Today’s your first official day on the job, and you’re all kinds of anxious, unable to calm yourself as you draw closer to your destination. Your parents tried to use words of encouragement to alleviate the nervousness within you, but it’s no use. You start thinking of all the possible ways of screwing up on the job, your heart racing quickly at the thought. 

You were always a nervous nellie according to your mom and dad, lacking the confidence and self-assurance. However, you thrived in the anxiety and insecurity departments much to your dismay.

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BTS Reaction - Revealing your relationship in an interview

Seokjin [Jin] -

Jin would just smile innocently towards the camera, happy that he didn’t have to keep your relationship a secret anymore. He was prepared for all the questions that were coming his way and would answer them politely, without giving out any personal details about you. Jin didn’t see this as a problem but more of a relief, all the sneaking around was starting to tire him. Now that he didn’t have to came as the biggest comfort to him.

“It was gonna come out sooner or later, right?”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi [Suga] -

Yoongi would probably just smirk, finding the whole thing amusing. He could just imagine you sitting at home and tearing your hair out while staring that the television horrified. He knew the consequences he was going to face once he got home, but to him it was worth it now that he didn’t have to hide you from his fans. Yoongi would laugh about the whole situation and blush a little as the boys teased him.

“She’s going to kill me when I get home.”

Originally posted by sugagifs

Hoseok [J-Hope] -

Hoseok would slap his hand over his mouth, eyes wide while beating himself up in his mind. He couldn’t believe that he just revealed the one thing that he wasn’t supposed to, but now that he did he didn’t see a point to stop. He would tell the most embarrassing stories about you, laughing once the boys joined in who all knew about your relationship from the start.

“I’m too cute for her to be mad at.”

Originally posted by j-cypher-moved

Namjoon [Rap Monster] -

He knew your relationship was going to come into the light soon enough, so he wouldn’t really regret revealing your relationship. He’d just laugh innocently showing his dimples to the camera, knowing you had a weakness for his smile. He wanted to butter you up before he got home, so that when he did you weren’t too mad at him. Namjoon had no shame in disclosing your romantic relationship, he’d just give out an amused, 

“Oops?”

Originally posted by rapmini

Jimin -

Jimin knew he messed up the moment the secret came out of his mouth. He’d become really shy, feeling the interviewers  and the other boys eyes boring through him. A bashful laugh escaped his lips as his eyes turned into crescent moons. Jimin would blow a kiss towards the camera, being cute for you to forget what he just said.

“I’m sorry! I love you baby.”

Originally posted by spookyagustd

Taehyung [V] -

Taehyung couldn’t control what he saying, and would gush about you to the interviewer who was trying to ask him more questions. His sensible side would turn off and he’d just continue talking about you like it was nothing. After awhile though he’d come to his senses and smile sheepishly. Taehyung would wave at the camera innocently, trying to soothe the irritation he was sure you were feeling at home.

“Hey princess, please don’t kill me!”

Originally posted by jkookook

Jungkook -

Jungkook became so blushy and cute when talking about you. He’d have his head low while the boys pinched his red cheeks and teased him, saying that “he was finally a real man.” He’d get so smiley, knowing you were watching in your apartment with your equally as red cheeks. Jungkook wouldn’t say too much about your relationship, only saying one thing that  made the whole studio go ‘aww’.

“I really love her.”

Originally posted by jkguks

The Impossible(Peter Parker x Reader) Part 1 (Pun intended)

Originally posted by shipcestuous

“Okay class. Settle down now.” Your science teacher commanded.

“Today we will be doing a lab involving different chemicals and how they react to each other.“You rolled your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. You had already done this lab a million times and it was Getting boring and repetitive. 

“For this lab you will be needing a partner. Whoever is sitting next to you will be working with you today”.

You thanked god that no one was sitting next to you and you could work alone. Usually you were paired with someone who you did all the work for and they did absolutely nothing.
The norm for you. The upsetting norm. They never let you protest and immediately put in their headphones to block you out.

As every table was getting their racks of test tubes and droppers the door to the classroom flew open and in ran Peter Parker. The tardy guy as you liked to call him. And the weird, staring, blushy guy too.

“Ah , Mr.Parker. Glad you could join us. Go and take a seat” peter nodded and made his way over to an empty seat.

 Your eyes went around the room at every table, scanning the room for any other empty seat other than the one right next to you. There wasn’t any other empty seat. . He was gonna be your lab Partner. 

 Even though peter is weird to you and you don’t really want anything to do with him other than friendship, there was always something in the way of you staying true to those words. He is undeniably sweet. And that makes it hard to not form a slight crush on him. You weren’t ever going to let anyone know that. But he still made you mad sometimes. 

He took a seat next to you and let out a shaky breath. “ Hey Y/N”

“Hey peter”You mumbled, barley looking at him. But when you did look at him , you gazed into his brown orbs. You recognized his stare. While you guys had almost every class together, he spent half the period staring at you before Ned had to tell him “dude stop staring. Shes gonna get scared.” He was wrong. You were already scared.

“Sorry that i’m late again. You would’ve been partnerless and working alone.” There’s his sweetness that I was talking about.

”I’m not going to make you do everything Y/N, don’t worry. I promise.”He smiled. You had to try and fight back a smile of your own. That was the sweetest thing ever. 

He picked up two out of the four test tubes and placed them on your side of the rack. Then he took one dropper full of the purple-ish chemical and put it in the beaker.

“Peter what are you doing? She didn’t give instructions yet.” you barked.

 “ssshhhhhh Y/N , I know what I’m doing.” He argued. Then he mixed in something under the table and a whole bunch of white substance splashed all over you and peter. 

You let out a shriek of disgust as the mystery concoction dripped down your face to the floor. You got up to go over to the cleaning station and slipped on the substance on the floor, landing on your back forcefully. 

“Y/N!!!!!!” Peter gasped as he got up to try and help you up but failed miserably. He was now on top of you on the floor. Your head was spinning not only because you hit it when you fell but the classes loud laughter. Then you heard a click.

 You shoved peter off of you and got up off the floor to come face to face with Ned and his phone out. You gave them both a look of disgust while grabbing your bag and bolting out of the room. Sweetness ruined.

“Ms. Y/L/N!!!!!” Your science teacher hissed.  But you ignored her and made your way to the bathroom. Ned couldn’t of made it more obvious that peter likes you with what just happened, and everything peter has been doing.


This day has to be the worst you’ve ever had. You couldn’t wait to go home. Aside from what happened 3rd period, you failed your Spanish test with a 60, you got your lunch knocked out of your hands and you got humiliated in gym by flash. And nobody even cared. Not Ned, Michelle or even peter. That brought you down, more than it should’ve, but it happens. 

You sighed in relief as you finally exited Midtown High. 8 long hours of boredom and humiliation. Today felt longer than any other day. You hated it, but it was over. 

“Y/N!! Wait!!” you heard a female voice call from behind you. You whipped your head around to hear who was calling you. It was Michelle. You turned your head back around and rolled your eyes, you did not want to talk to her right now. 

“Y/N please!!” she pleaded as she turned you around. “What Michelle?” 

“I’m so sorry about what happened in gym today. I freaked out” You turned your head to the side to hide the tears that wanted to cascade down your face. You took in a deep breath. “So you just freaked Out? That’s your excuse? Really? Come back to me when you actually mean it Michelle.” With that you turned back around and headed to the train station. 

The ride home was boring. Peter used to always take the train with you but it stopped a while ago. Today was the day that you were glad he wasn’t taking it with you anymore, mean, but he really embarrassed you. 

-At Home-

  “I’m serious mom, Its like they all had a plan to ruin my day or something. Like they were all in on it.” you sighed. Your mom looked at with her usual soft gaze and put her hands on your face.

“Mija, it was just a bad day. Don’t think about it, okay? I promise you everything is gonna be fine by tomorrow.” You smiled at your mom. She could be right. Maybe you were overthinking things way too much. It was just a bad day.

You closed the door to your room and shrugged your book-bag off of your shoulder a clicked the TV on. “Today at approximatley 7:30 A.M the crime fighting spider Stopped a well planned heist from reaching its turning point.”You perked your ears up at this sudden blast of new information. “the vigilante ridded the men of all of their weapons and freed 4 hostages under their control. This spider guy was amazing. He saved those people and many more by stopping those guys. Who knows what would’ve happened if he didn’t swing in.

Lately the news was always about him, and every new piece of news added to your amazement. Spider guy was amazing.

- A few weeks Later-

“No no no, please no” Peter pleaded. The vulture has figured out who he is and just threatened to kill everyone he loves. When it came to those people, peter was the most vulnerable. They were his soft spots in his heart and couldn’t bear to see them hurt.

Peter was swinging from building to building , trying to get home as fast as he could to Aunt May. If the Vulture was going to target the ones he loved, the first person that he would go to is his aunt. After Uncle Ben’s death Aunt may and peter’s bond was so very unbreakable. Even though she now knows what peter does when he sneaks out, she still loves him. As does he. 

Peter mounted onto the side of his bedroom window and flew it open. Hopping inside peter called out for his aunt many times, tears flowing out of his eyes. “Aunt May!”peter chirped , seeing her small figure leaning against the kitchen counter. She had a suprised look on her face at the sudden burst of peter’s distraught voice and look.

“Has anyone been here”Peter asked engulfing her in a hug.”yeah, the yearbook comitee. They said they needed pictures and I let them look in your room.” She beamed. She wasn’t catching on to what was going on.”Nooooooo aunt may. Why would you let two older guys convince you that they were yearbook comitee?” peter sighed walking back to his bedroom, Aunt may on his tail. “You really have to stop being so nice to everyone. I love it about you , but not everyone is nice”

“They weren’t two older guys Peter. There were at least 4 high school students that came to the door. One of them was even Y/N” Peters eyes went wide at his thrown around room. “Wait Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N?”peter questioned. “Yes peter, Y/N. You didn’t know she was in the yearbook comitee?”. “No. Shes not in it Aunt may.That was not a real club.” Peter sighed. 

Aunt may had a look of confusion on her face.”Then what were they peter?” She challenged. Peters eyes went to his desk and he arched his brow.”Somethings missing” he said. “What?”

“The picture of me and Y/N” Tears pricked in his eyes.

Bad Boy Parker: Peter Parker

Word Count: 1.8k

Warning(s): Bad Boy!Peter Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Request: Heyyy I really need a bad boy Peter Parker imagine!! I will love you to death if you write one for me :) thank you for all your amazing imagines💕
A/N: The dear anon who requested this imagine didn’t give me much to work with, so I kinda just… wrote this and made Peter Parker a Bad Boy? Idk I hope you all enjoy and it’s not too bad.

Note: Reader and Peter are sixteen


Y/N was new to Midtown High School and was still learning her way around. She had only been there for a day, and was now on her second day at the school. On her first day, Y/N had met a girl named Leila who had been quick to befriend Y/N and to show her around the school along with invite Y/N to join her and her friends during lunch. 

It was only her second day at the school and she had already managed to be late. Great, now she was going to end up making a grand entrance, which would do exactly what she didn’t want to happen: draw attention. “God damnit, Y/N.” Y/N cursed herself under her breath as she paused outside of the door to her first class. She took in a deep breath and opened the door. As expected, the teacher stopped his talking and the entire class turned to face the door.

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N. How nice of you to finally join us. It is only your second day at this school and you’re already late.”

“I know, I’m really sorry. Had a couple bumps back home and it just made thing… and you don’t care. I’ll just be taking my seat.” Y/N said as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and as she walked towards her seat. She set her book bag on the floor by her desk and pulled her books out. Minutes into the class and Y/N was extremely bored. She had learned this material at her previous school. Her eyes wandered around the classroom until they landed on the most handsome boy she had ever seen. He also hadn’t been there the previous day. He looked beyond disinterested in what the teacher was saying as he fiddled with the pen in his hand.

Y/N was staring shamelessly and Peter knew. He could feel her eyes on him and this pleased him immensely. His lips stretched into a small smirk as he turned his head to meet Y/N’s gaze. Y/N didn’t break eye contact with the mystery boy until he sent her a discreet wink. Of course, Y/N felt like she was going to melt and had to look away. The rest of the time, Y/N avoided eye contact with him in fear of saying something she would regret.

When the bell rang, Y/N didn’t hesitate in the slightest to quickly shove her books in her bag and practically sprint out of the classroom. She was aware the sound of the heels of her ankle boots were loud as she sped walked away from the classroom, but she didn’t care. Luckily, Y/N had her next class with Leila, who would hopefully take her mind off of whoever he was. And after this class was lunch, which would give Y/N even more time to come up with ways to avoid whoever he was.

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Forever And Almost Always - Part 1

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 2 (removed, on hiatus) -  Series Playlist

Summary: Series: Bucky is the ex you keep going back to, but what happens when one of you is interested in more than just the rebound? Chapter: You run into your ex and the pull is instant and all too familiar.

Warnings: swearing, implied smut (nothing explicit included)

Word Count: 1313

Author’s Note: Ok! Here we go! I’m kind of excited about this series. It’s been in my head for months, but trapped there through all the craziness in my life right now, but I think I’m well enough ahead to start posting. Fingers crossed I don’t get behind. :)

Originally posted by uncensoredsideblog

Leaning forward, arching over the sleek glass bar top and spinning the credit card in your fingers, you waited impatiently for your drinks. You were more than ready for another. Another 3, if you were honest. These kinds of parties were never your scene. At first they were exciting, sure, but pretty soon they all started to look the same and you started to feel the same restless boredom tugging at the corner of every conversation, every polished smile.

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The fight (part 1) // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: Shawn an Y/n have a massive fight resulting in Shawn leaving when he’s about to go on tour the next day.

Authors note: so excited for this *screams internally*

Requested: yesss


I slammed the front door shut, making Shawn know I had arrived home. I chuck my bag on the couch, storming into the dinning room where I find him with his laptop, papers messily arranged on the glass table.

“You think I wouldn’t find out,” I seethe, my hands angrily twitching at my sides.

“Hello to you too,” Shawn snaps, not looking up from what ever was on his screen.

“Do you even care?” I ask, walking closer to him, now with my arms folded across my chest.

“Care about what?” Shawn murmurs, eyes still locked onto the computer screen.

I let out an angry huff, turning away from him completely and walking out the room.

“Y/n?” I hear his voice call but I continue, walking into our shared bedroom, the bed that he hasn’t slept in for around 5 nights. He hadn’t bothered coming home as he had spent so much time at the studio recently, he thought he might as well sleep there.

I roll my eyes at the thought. It felt like we weren’t even properly together. We hadn’t talked, hadn’t seen each other for way too long for it to be healthy for our relationship and then for me to find out he was going on tour tomorrow from one of my friends, it made my blood boil. 

I shrug my jacket off my shoulders and hang it on the coat rack in the corner of the room before moving in front of the dresser to take my earrings off in the mirror.

I place them in a box, returning my gaze to the mirror, Shawn’s figure reflecting in the mirror of him standing by the door frame.

“Yes?” I ask, my tone clipped.

“What do you mean I don’t care?” He asks, folding his arms across his chest like I did previously.

“I know, Shawn,” I say, glaring daggers at him. 

“About what?” He asks, chucking his hands up, desperation creeping into his voice.

“About tour. Tour that starts tomorrow,” I say, my voice breaking at the end as I feel the weird sensation of tears filling my eyes.

“Oh… that,” Shawn mutters, turning away from my gaze. “I was going to tell you,’

“Really? Were you?” I ask, feigning hope.

“Of course,” He says walking over and sitting on the bed.

“Thats so sweet of you to tell me that you were leaving for 3 months just as you were walking out the door,” my tone is sickly sweet as I shoot him a fake smile.

He groans, flopping back on the bed.

“Do you know who I heard it from?” I screech, anger fueling my fire.

“Who?” he says, almost as if he was bored with the subject.

“Andrew. He goes ‘are you excited for Shawn’s European leg of tour’?” I give him another look of fury. “’Of course’ I go ‘when is it?’ Then I receive the look of pity when he says tomorrow. TOMORROW SHAWN!” 

He winces at how loud my voice is in the quiet apartment.

“I can’t help it if tour takes me away from you. You knew what you were getting into when you first started dating me,” He tries to reason.

“Of course I knew what I was getting into Shawn, what I didn’t know is that you wouldn’t tell me about when you were leaving, if you were actually coming home for dinner some nights or if you were actually still in the same country as me!”

A tear slips down my face and I wipe it away angrily, hating to show weakness when he didn’t even seem the least bit affected.

“I get that you have to tour, I understand, but god Shawn seriously, not even a text saying hey I’m staying at the studio tonight- not coming home for dinner, don’t bother cooking me anything otherwise it will just be wasted and I’ll have to chuck it away,” My point seems to change, now attacking his lack of contact with me.

“I was busy,”

“You’re always busy!” I sob, my voice rugged as I try to get the air flowing into my lungs which feel like they’re being constricted. “I go to sleep at night wondering if I’ll wake up and you’ll be there. Surprise, surprise, You’re not,” I laugh, the sound harsh against my ears.

“I can’t do this right now, I have to get ready for tour,” Shawn mumbles, never once meeting my bloodshot eyes, walking straight out the room

“Well hey, thanks for at least telling me that this time!” I yell out to him, exuding fake happiness. 

“You’re welcome!” Is shouted at me, the slam of the front door being the goodbye. For how long, I didn’t know.