it took me all day to get what i wanted

Hey, y’all.  I was hoping to get a little help with something.  I know I’ve talked about my boyfriend on here before, and about how he wants to understand gender, specifically non-binary gender, better.  He was raised in a very conservative household where anything straying from the male-female was regarded as “socialist propaganda” and strongly dismissed, and it wasn’t until just a few years ago that the concept of gender theory was even available to him.  Now, he’s very respectful of gender identity and he would never intentionally misgender someone because he’s not a dick, but he feels that he would benefit from understanding the issues surrounding gender in addition to accepting them.

He and I have had countless discussions on the subject.  We tend to agree on most things and we generally reach the same conclusions, but our processes for arriving at those conclusions are different.  He’s very intelligent, but we think differently.  I’m a very abstract and theoretical thinker, but he is more concrete.  It makes for some awesome discussions (y’all should come over for dinner sometime), but it also means that the sources I read to learn about and understand gender theory, those that use very theoretical and abstract language and points, are not helpful to him.

So, this is where you lot come in.  You curious, brilliant people.  I am looking for good articles or journals or even books on gender theory that are helpful to a concrete mind.  Or, if any of my non-binary followers are willing, someone to sit down and patiently have a conversation with the man.  Send me sources!

To be a bit positive, I’ll talk about how well I’m feeling today. After almost two weeks of crying 2 hours a day and pain and mental health issues, this was the first day where I actually felt happy, and didn’t even cry once (but the part where Sherlock got sad).
Yesterday, five minutes before the last lesson that day, I broke down, because I couldn’t endure the pain that had gotten through the numbness I had felt all day. I agreed with my teacher that I went home. My friends were worried and didn’t want me to go home alone, so they brought me home safe (bless them they could’ve gotten in serious trouble because of that)
When I told my dad what’d happened, he decided that I had to do something to get my mind of, and he took me with the train to a village where our car had been repaired. We walked for an hour through the village, and then we rode back in the car. When we got home, we went straight to a concert my mom was presenting. I left at 5 pm and got home at 10 pm, and in those five hours I didn’t ever feel any pain or anxiousness, I didn’t even think about my mental health!
So today started pretty well, most of the teachers were kinda relaxed and nice and my friends were lovely and funny. Home, I watched some teen wolf, went for a ride on my bike with my mom and we watched Sherlock while dinner.
I felt happy today, and it’s one of the best feelings ever, I swear.

Absolutely Disgusting Shippy Starters
  • "I got you a little something..."
  • "You look adorable in that."
  • "Flowers? For me?"
  • "Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you."
  • "I know you had a long day, so I took care of dinner."
  • "I did a little shopping at the naughty store."
  • "Let's cuddle and be sluggish all night long."
  • "Did I tell you you're beautiful, today?"
  • "I already ordered pizza for tonight."
  • "Candles, rose petals and champagne? What's the occasion."
  • "I can't believe that you fell in love with me."
  • "What is the one thing you absolutely, positively wanted?"
  • "Time to bury ourselves in blankets and ignore the rest of the world."
  • "Gimme that phone. It's getting shut off."
  • "You did all this for me?"
  • "Normally I hate surprises, but you did good."
  • "You just made my terrible day not so terrible."
  • "I will protect you, no matter what."
  • "Let's get a little tipsy for science."
  • "Wow. You look amazing."
  • "If it wasn't for the fact that I am so happy I would be suspicious right now."
  • "I love you so much."
  • "Shall we climb into bed?"
  • "You tried and that's what counts."
  • "I just want to curl up into your arms and sleep for days."
  • "I just have one question for you; ice cream or popcorn?"
  • "We should go to the festival!"
  • "You're not going anywhere without me. Especially anywhere dangerous."
  • "How would you feel about getting married?"

The older I get, the prouder I am to be a woman in the industry. When I was younger and running around all the time on tour, I don’t think I took the time to notice how being a woman in my position is really a gift. I want to make sure I utilize all that power. I was in Nepal for six days with UNICEF recently and it was so humbling to be immersed in someone else’s environment. I wish I could bottle that feeling up and bring it home with me. It was really empowering. So I think that’s what I’m most excited to share in my music and performance now.. All the stuff that I’ve been living, because it’s been beautiful and awkward and authentic.

Cassian Andor x Reader ~ Home Pt. 2


Summary: (Y/n) faces new found knowledge and the constant haunting from their past. Cassian tries to keep her grounded through these trying times.

Warnings: PTSD, Violence, ?

A/N: Since a few of you wanted a continuation here is a second part! Not sure how many parts there will be, but we’ll see. Sorry again, no editing was done because I wanted to just get it up. Let me know what you all think!

Tags: @warqueenfuriosa, (ask to tag)

Ever since you were released from the medbay but still kept under bed rest, Cassian has been at your side watching you over like a hawk. It took a lot of convincing to get him to go help out at the base and leave you alone during the day. It was especially difficult to convince him since you had continued to have flashbacks and nightmares from everything you went through, and he often had to try and calm you down. It was getting late and you slid over out of the bed, you wanted to test your strength and you grabbed the table’s corner to push yourself up. Your knees immediately buckled and you swore about all the curses in the ‘verse.  After regaining your composure while sitting on the floor, you slowly climbed your way back up to sit down. You couldn’t believe how weak you were right now, it was pitiful. You were useless to the Rebellion at the moment, if you had been cautious during the mission and just thought things through… You began to replay the general’s words over in your mind, you were Kenobi’s daughter. If you couldn’t physically train like usual in your current state, you decided you would begin to mentally train yourself to use the Force. You sat on your bed and closed your eyes, focusing your energy and mind. You would start small, you looked to the blanket covers that you had pushed aside. You held out your hand, trying to pull the blanket towards your grip. It began to jerk slightly and finally it flew to you in a flash. You grinned in surprise, doing the same thing over and over again. After you were able to get it smoothly into your grip you decided you would see if you could keep an object balanced and looked to your water glass. You slowly and carefully focused on the object, lifting it from your bedside table and slowly having it float towards you. It got about halfway to you when the door swooshed open, you immediately panicked at the sudden noise and the glass clattered to the floor. Your nurse, Asha, quickly ran over to you and began to clean the spill.

“Sorry (y/n), I didn’t mean to startle you!” She seemed slightly embarrassed and you shook your head telling her everything was fine. She then helped you to go clean up, washing and carefully not causing stings in the still healing cuts. You both chatted, and she seemed really impressed and filled with glee when you showed her your new found talent. After she chatted with you and kept you company for a while you were once more sat alone on your bed. This was a repeated process for many weeks, and you were beginning to be able to meditate fairly well. You had started to easily focus your energy, and at one point you had managed to use the Force to help you stand. As you laid in bed you thought about your abilities, learning the ways of the Force would force you to dedicate your life and you began to realize nothing would ever be the same again. You didn’t want things to change, but you didn’t have a choice. You couldn’t refuse to train, especially when there were still people out there to help you. But would you still be able to fly with Cassian? Or would the general keep you at his side and disposal with your unique talents? The door swooshed open to reveal Cassian with a large tray of food, startling you from your thoughts. You gave him a warm smile and he walked over sitting down next to you on the bed after planting a chaste kiss on the top of your head. “I brought dinner.” He stated and began moving around the foods on the tray, one serving for you and one for him.
“Thank you Cassian, you don’t have to eat in here though.” You told him and he chuckled at your slight protest of him staying.
“Your stuck with me (y/n), I’d rather be in here than with those boisterous pilots right now.” His warm brown eyes and usual dashing smile made you grin as well.
“So be it.” You teased in response as you looked over the food. “Thanks again.” You added before beginning to dig in. He chuckled as you began to scarf down the food in front of you. As he began to eat, you noticed he was giving you the look. You rolled your eyes and laughed lightly, “Cheer up, Andor.” You ruffled his hair and he looked away with annoyance but you spotted a slight blush on his cheeks. After you both finished, you took your pain medications with Cassian holding your water for you to down the pills. You gulped them down easily and thanked him before swinging your feet back over and laying down. Cassian went and cleaned up out of his daily fatigues. You were already starting to nod off, the meds had that effect on you normally. He smiled ever so slightly as he slid onto the bed beside you, and you groggily wrapped your arms around his waist laying your head atop his chest. You fell into a deep sleep after listening to his heartbeat and feeling his fingers stroke through your hair gently.

“You really are something.” Boba spat as the droid dug its sharp blade deeper into your abdomen. You stared at the masked man with hatred, you didn’t let a single noise escape you with the excruciating pain you felt as the blood cascaded down to the floor. “If you weren’t Rebel scum maybe I’d have use for you.” You could hear the smirk in his voice as he pulled your hair up so you would look him in the eye once more. “Join us.” He stated, it wasn’t a question or request. You could read that if you were of no use to them they would kill you. 
“No.” You replied, your voice hoarse and rough from all the torture and the dehydration.
“Fine, until you change your mind I am ordered to make you suffer until you wish for death.” Boba Fett replied harshly as he grabbed the dagger that he loved to use. That dagger, it spilled your blood so many times now there was no way to count. The torture droid left the chamber and the bounty hunter began to slice intricately into your skin in a slow and excruciating manner.

“(Y/n)!” You heard a voice shout and you opened your eyes in panic to see Cassian looking at you and holding your shoulders firmly. Your eyes darted around the room and then went back to Cassian as he tried to calm you down. Your breathing was erratic and you were covered in sweat. “(Y/n), it’s okay. You’re safe.” He said softly quickly pulling you into his arms. You gasped in breaths and he rocked you gently until your breathing finally calmed down.
“I’m sorry…” You let out a frustrated whimpered as you moved back with your head in your hands. You took off your hoodie and attempted to cool off in your tank top to shock yourself back into reality. You could feel his eyes wracking your body and taking in ever mark, you regretted your decision. “I’m sorry I…” Cassian reached over and grabbed your hands gently.
“It’s okay.” He muttered quietly again, pulling you closer once more. “I’m here.” You finally stopped shaking and held on to him tightly, laying your head on his chest to try and match your heartbeat and breathing. You both layed there in silence for a long time as you finally began to ground yourself fully. Once Cassian noticed you had gotten back to your usual breathing after some time, he finally spoke up. “What did they do to you?” He barely whispered to himself,  he sounded as though he himself were in pain. He began to lightly trace the scars on your shoulder, you flinched slightly at first but adjusted after a moment. He was avoiding those that were still recovering with stitches, “Do you want to talk about it (y/n)?” You silently shook your head. "It will help, please (y/n).“ You took in a deep shaky breath, and explained the dream. But it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. He didn’t move for a moment, you worried that maybe he thought you were pitiful for not fighting back enough. But before you could say anything his arms enveloped you tightly. "I’m going to blast that damn son of a bitch off the face of whatever dirt-ball he’s on.” Cassian was filled with rage and you put your hand on his jaw lightly.
“Getting angry isn’t going to help right now, what’s done is done. We’re here because we want to stop scum like him aren’t we? We’ll get a chance to make them pay.” You reassured him, when the captain in your arms got angry it was like an unstoppable force. 
“How am I so lucky to have you? You are the strongest person I know (y/n)…” You almost let out a laugh as he shed a tear that hit your palm.
“I was just thinking the same about you.” You muttered before giving him a long kiss. “Thank you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The next few weeks were rough, you often ended up having moments like these in the middle of the night when your mind began to remember. Luckily, Cassian was always there to help ease you out of your panic and ground you. You had began to use a cane to walk around the base, at first Cassian had treated you like a little kid walking for the first time. He had his arms out ready to catch you if you fell. This bemused many of the rebels who saw, because to them he came across as an easily angered and strict captain. You finally were able to be back on your feet though and all you wanted to do was run. Cassian could tell you were doing much better too, now that you were no longer constricted to your bed you were smiling more often. You still were unable to train physically like you had done daily before, but you continued to practice your use of the Force. You were floating in a position of meditation when you heard a light cough, you fell back to the ground in a sudden shift. The general was standing before you with crossed arms. “We are going to find someone to help train you in the ways of the Force. Until then you will be dismissed from any calls to action or future missions.” You became angered, immediately standing to match his intense gaze.
“These powers may be new to me, but I am no child.” You replied harshly before walking past him, you stopped though and glanced back over your shoulder. “I won’t be restricted because you find my powers of use. I’ve already sat around enough because of my injuries, let me be of help to the cause.”
“Kenobi wanted you protected and hidden.” The general responded not having any of your defiance. This caused you to quickly turn on your heal and walk back into his face.
“I am not my father and I don’t need protection.” You stated venomously. “I am one of your best general, let me do what I am best at.” This caused the general to laugh dryly.
“(Y/n), you aren’t your own person anymore. Every decision you make affects more than simply yourself and those immediately around you. Don’t you realize that? You are a Jedi, your fate has already been decided.”

Oswald's Feelings Were Not Out of the Blue

He has had at least a crush on Ed for a decent portion of season 3. He just didn’t totally understand what the feeling was until episode 6. He has never been in a relationship before, so this is new to him. It took him awhile to really get it. I mean, the hints were all there. Since when does Oswald Cobblepot send biscuits and sweaters to people in prison?
He also mentioned wanting someone to share his accomplishments with THEN appointed Ed his Chief of Staff. The person who will be in his pocket nonstop!
Let me also bring to your attention the fact that Gotham episodes are not necessarily day by day. Some of them are a week or so apart. They are careful about details and between ep 6 and 7 Ed no longer has a bruise. I doubt they accidentally neglected to add it. I think they did it to say it has been a week or two since the incident.
In conclusion

anonymous asked:

hi! i read your post on Aleppo and i'm a bit confused about what's going on. some articles that say that the Syrians supported Assad, yet that kind of goes against what you mentioned (about the Syrian govt and Russia bombing the country). can you elaborate on this? (sorry, i want to have more knowledge on what's going on)

(note: if you want to skip right to the important details, scroll down until to find the section underneath the exclamation marks like this: !!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Hi anon, it’s great that you’re interested in learning more about Aleppo, and honestly, I am too! This is a very complex and sensitive topic so I just don’t want to get any details wrong or cause misinformation to spread, but I’ll try to do my best. What I do believe is that yes, the majority of people in Syria do support Assad. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you but here’s why:

Just over a day ago I believed everything I wrote on that post word for word, and I strongly supported all of the posts I reblogged concerning the situation in Aleppo. However more recently I’ve been given new evidence that shows that the situation in Aleppo is much more complex than we have been led to believe. In this emotionally-driven campaign to achieve equality and peace for the people in Aleppo, many of us have failed to check the facts.

It’s sensible and normal for us to not question these things when people are suffering and dying and in need of our help. It’s also hard for us to understand the full story of what is going on in Aleppo when we are given little resources from the media. But what is even worse is that the stories we hear about Aleppo from the media are likely to be untrue. No, I am not asking people to be skeptical when others are in need of our help. But I am asking for everyone to just stop for a minute, realise that we shouldn’t believe everything we read on the internet, even if I comes from a popular media source. In fact, the media is often the one causing problems. And we know that already. Remember all those times that white policemen have shot and killed innocent black lives and the media failed to acknowledge them?

What I wrote in that post was based on mostly untrue evidence, which I only discovered yesterday, less than a day after I posted it. I’m here to fix my mistake by trying to encourage people to see the truth. Many of the other posts on tumblr and other websites are very likely to be untrue as well, based on lack of proper research, using information that the media has led us to believe but may be false.

!!!!!!!!!!!!! please read below 💕 

Don’t give up on hope for the people of Aleppo, because they still need us more than ever. Please use these following resources to gain a better, more wholesome understanding of the critical situation in Aleppo.

Links: source 1, source 2, source 3, source 4, source 5 (which also includes a list of other sources), source 6, source 7, source 8, source 9, source 10source 11, source 12source 13, source 14source 15 (which also contains an entire list of other sources), source 16, source 17, source 18, source 19, source 20, and source 21 (another long list of other sources). (I’ll add more sources if I find them)

These sources prove that the “facts” about Aleppo given to us from mainstream media are false, and are all a part of the propaganda created by the US, Saudi Arabia and other countries which were presented by media as being ‘the good guys’. There is evidence which shows that all the ‘last message’ videos (such as this one or this one) are part of a PR campaign. There is also strong evidence showing that the tweets from Bana, the young girl supposedly tweeting from Syria, are also fake. Sources can also prove that the White Helmets organisation is not to be trusted, so please do not donate to them.

It may come as a shock to you at first, (I certainly took me a while to process all of this) but please actually take your time to read/watch as much of it as you can. It’s important that we learn what’s really happening in Aleppo, to understand who is actually supporting the innocent people in Aleppo and who isn’t.

I may not be able to answer some questions on this topic as I am no expert, and neither are most of the other people on tumblr. Please use the many reliable resources I have given you instead, and don’t forget to keep the people of Aleppo in your best interests.

Things that happened today

Sorry in advance for the long post! I can’t do the read more thing on the app.

1. Sarah got up and got everything ready for the day and took Teen to school. Then she went and bought him clothes, snacks, and a duffel bag.

2. I took Jay to his mom’s. The nurse texted me a few hours later - Jay’s mom was extremely upset that Jay has been crying a lot. I wanted to scream. She says all the time what an easy baby he is, which is true, EXCEPT WHEN HE IS TEETHING AND HAS A COLD AND CRIES LIKE NONSTOP. I told the nurse it was good for her to gain experience. 😒

3. I worked a half day and begged my coworker to cover for me so I could go get Teen from school. Also texted and called anyone I could think of for info about Teen and his siblings. Finally got the placement letter with my name on it right before I left.

4. Went to get Teen from school. He was embarrassed and quiet. Office ladies were looking at him all pitying and he was clearly ready to not ever talk to them again.

5. Met Teen’s CW for post-placement interview. She is fucking AWESOME. Seriously on top of things. She’d had his case for less than 24 hours and had already done more than Jay’s worker had done in the first three months.

6. Took Teen to the shelter where his siblings are for a visit. Felt my heart breaking the entire time. From then to when Teen went to bed, it took everything I had not to cry. He has a brother and a sister, both pretty significantly younger. They are adorable and so sweet. They met with the CW beforehand and then the shelter folks left us in a visit room alone. Me and three kids. They forgot to bring the little kids’ dinner up. We played for a little more than an hour and talked a lot about how much their mom loves them and how their safety is the most important thing. If we had another bedroom, I would have taken them home. It was hard to leave them. Teen was so happy to be with them.

7. Picked up pizza for Teen. His mood improved so much. It was like a 180 from when I picked him up from school. He told me a lot about his life, his parents, his school and teachers, friends, etc. We talked for a long time. He loves animals, Pokémon, Roblox, his family, and his teacher.

8. Went back out with Teen to pick up Jay from his mom’s. Answered lots of questions from Teen about why Jay doesn’t walk, hold his bink, etc. Talked about how Jay’s mom loves him and he’s staying with us to be safe.

9. Got Jay in bed, talked more to Teen about his life, and finally we all went to bed. It’s Sarah’s late class tonight so she won’t be home until 10 or so. Teen was concerned but I promised she would come back soon and say goodnight to him.

10. At some point in the day, I realized Teen has some cognitive disability type stuff and is in a separate class for every subject. He is 13, but not like the other 13 year olds I know. No info from DFS about this (of course). I’m guessing there are some delays? He has some physical markers of FAS. But you know, who knows?

11. I really hope they find a place for all three of them tomorrow. They are so attached to each other. The only reason Teen can’t stay with them is because of a medication he takes - which wasn’t picked up from his house, so he’s not getting it anyway. So he could stay there… Ugh.

I really needed that. Thanks for letting me yell into the abyss, internet.

GOT7 Reaction to see you crying after a fight.

This is my last one for today! Enjoy~



“I said I want to spend more time with you.. Or I’ll break up with you. ” your convict words got him surprised.

“Why (y/n)? What I have done wrong? I spend a lot of time with you! ” you noticed that he was getting a little nervous, and not in a good way…

“You don’t have time for our relationship! I spent valentine’s day alone and you didn’t even bother to call me to say at least one ‘I love you’! You know how much it hurts Jaebum!?”

He stayed there frozen, without words for the first time. He took a deep breath and looked at you, his eyes burning with anger.

“That is what this stupid fight all about (y/n)? You want to broke up because of this selfishness of yours? YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT I HAVE A JOB THAT DEMENDS MOST OF MY TIME (Y/N)! WHY CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? ”

You ran to the bathroom to cry yourself out. Jaebum really hurt your feelings with his words. You knew that he couldn’t spend all his time with you due to his busy schedule, but not coming home for 2 weeks and almost no calls from him, made you rethink your relationship.

“Jagi.. please come out! I’m calm now.. I promise I won’t shout anymore.. we’re both tired and…” You heard his voice through the door. Tears running down your cheeks.

“I want to broke up Jaebum” this time your voice was weak. It was a hard decision, but you were able to see that this relation couldn’t go any further the way it was now. His job was his life and his dream, not you, and loving him too much made you realize that you don’t want to stay in his way.

“What?! No!” Jaebum slammed the door trying to open it. You flinched hearing the loud noises.

“Stop it Jaebum! Just go away! I won’t stay in your way anymore! ”

He stopped and breathed heavily.

“Just open it jagi…” he seemed broken. You opened the door and never saw him like that. He had tears in his eyes but he had a sad smile with it. His arms wrapped you in a thigh hug, whispering soothing words in your ear as you cried in his chest.

“How could you say that? I would never leave you and you are part of my dream too. I love you, and I’m sorry. I’ll change and..”

“I love you too Jaebum. I’m sorry too. Let’s both change to get our relationship back on track!” You smiled at him and he kissed you sealing your promise.


‘I won´t talk to her, I won´t talk to her…’ Mark thought while sitting on the sofa off your shared apartment, his fingers moving in his legs nervously. ‘She needs to be alone right now.. But I want to make her stop crying! Aish! I have no idea of what should I do!”  He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling useless.

You have been crying alone in your room for a couple of hours because of a fight you just had with your parents. They decided to move away to other country, without even talk to you first. You were sad and didn´t know what to do next.

Your face was lying on the soft pillow, and the only thing that could be heard was your quiet sobs and hiccups.

Mark, after a couple of minutes finally decided to go see you. It broke his heart to see you at this state and he wanted to help, but he wasn´t sure how to do it. Quietly, he sat on the bed and pulled you into his arms on a thigh hug. Mark kissed your forehead tenderly, a simple action that made you smile a bit for the first time today.

“Are you ok dear?”

“I´m a bit better now…” your voice was still trembling, but at least you stopped crying.

“That´s it.. Pretty girls shouldn´t cry like that! I like you more when you smile.” His big smile warmed your heart.

“You think they are abandoning me Mark?”




“But why?”

“They are moving on dear.. You have me now, and I think they already noticed that you don´t need them close all the time anymore. We have our life now, and they have theirs too!”

You breathed heavily and held his hand on yours. Mark was right. You were an adult now, not daddy’s little girl!

After a couple of minutes just cudlling and thinking, you decided what to do. Your boyfriend’s words helped you, and his quiet but lovings actions calmed your messy thoughts.



“Will you go with me apologize to my parents?”

“Of course (y/n).. Anything to make you happy” Mark them kissed you gently on the lips, before taking you to your parents house.


“(y/n)? Are you home?” Jackson asked while putting his bags on the floor. As the answer didn’t come, he decided to search for you in the bedroom. With fast steps, he reached your bedroom and saw an unexpected scene.

You were sitting on the floor, crying, with your cellphone placed right beside you.

“Baobei! What are you doing? Why are crying?” Jackson almost jumped to your side hugging you and kissing your cheeks, trying to wipe away your salty tears.

“(your ex name) just called me.. and..”

“And what?” Jackson was getting angrier as he heard your ex name.

“Well he wanted me back, but I said no and he screamed at me and then we fought..” you were sad, because all you wanted was to forget your previous abusive relationship.

“I can´t believe that dick head called you again!” Jackson was burning with anger. It wasn´t the first time your ex called you, trying to make you come back to him, and he knew all the things your ex did to you.

“It´s ok now Jackson… I dumped him. Again.” You tried to smile reassuring your position. Your boyfriend’s expression softened a bit.

“I’m glad that you still want to be with me (y/n).. now stop crying or I’ll have to go catch that jerk and make him beg for your forgive!”

“OK OK! I’ll stop crying.. I don´t want to take you out of jail because of (y/ex/n).” You said as you smiled wider to Jackson’s happiness. He caressed your hair tenderly kissing your cheeks.

“That’s my girl!”


“Stop crying already! I already said sorry!” Jinyoung whined.

You guys fought over an stupid matter, but you were sensible because of the hormones of every woman ‘that days’. You were crying on your bed hugging you favorite teddy bear while Jr. tried to make you stop.

He carassed your thights and pushed you to him making you look at him in the eyes.

“Just stop babe.. I don’t like seeing you cry” He smiled and wiped your tears with his fingers. “Let’s forget that stupid fight and continue what we were doing.

You hid your face behind you teddy bear before Jinyoung could kiss your lips. He pouted and gave up, getting back to the living room to continue watching the movie. You felt bad. He was right, you should stop crying and comeback to the first movie night you guys were having in months.

Quietly you came back to the Tv room laying down on Jinyoung’s lap. He tried to ignore you but your intense aegyo was too much for him.

“Forgive me oppa?” you asked making you best lost kitten expression.

“I don´t know if you deserve…” He had a serious face, but it felt down a he laughed at your expression. “OK babe, I forgive you.”

Jinyoung was happy that you finally stopped crying, and, while you guys were watching another movie, he promised to himself that would never make you cry ever again.


“I expected more of you miss (y/n)..” Your teacher said as he gave you your math test. That day so far was being awful. One of the popular girls threw your stuff on the school trash can ‘by accident’, your grades were getting worse and your boyfriend was promoting his new album, which means that you wouldn’t see him for at least a whole month.

“I’m sorry Mr.(y/t/n). I promise I’ll get better grades next semester..” You got out of class feeling horrible. You took a deep breath as you walked down the hallway, getting your shoes on your locker and putting them.

“You really are stupid (y/n)..” one of the popular girls that hated you, said behind you.

“That’s nice for me huh? I’m glad that it’s not you the stupid one..” you replied with a bitter tone of voice. “Oh no wait! I forgot that the person who you get the test answers is me.. maybe you are the stupid one for copying me.” The words just spitted out of your mouth.

That girl wasn’t what you wanted right now, you just wanted your home and your boyfriend.

“What did you say?” She asked

“I know you heard me… Now get out of my way” as you passed, she grabbed our hair and pushed it with force, making you hit your butt on the floor.

“NEVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU BITCH!” She stormed out, finally leaving you alone.

After she leave, you feel tears running down your cheeks slowly. This day was so tiring, and all you needed was your bed to cry everything out….

In home, you opened the door and saw a bag on the floor near the sofa. It wasn’t yours, so that could mean only one thing: Youngjae was back.

You ran to your room and he was there, watching tv relaxed.

“Youngjae?” Your voice trembled

“Jagi!!!” He ran to you and caught you in his arms. You both stayed in the same position for some time, but the feelings hit you again, making you cry once more. “Jagi.. what’s wrong?” Youngjae looked at your face and kissed your forehead.

“It’s nothing…”

“I know something happened! Tell me!”

You couldn’t hide it anymore. You told him everything that happened in the last few days.

Youngjae, lead you to bed, singing some slow musics, calming you down and making sure you stopped crying.



“Never cry again if you’re not in my arms”.

Yep! Youngjae was really all you needed…


“Babe no! Come back here!” Bambam said as you ran into your room. “I´m sorry!”

You guys just had a little discussion when you ‘interrupted’ him while he was heading his way to the game night with the boys. But there was a tiny detail, it was your anniversary! You couldn´t believe he forgot, and even screamed at you.

“Go play games with your friends Kunpimook! They are more important than me!” You yelled at him, making him give up.

“I’ll be at my dorm then.. When you’re ready, go talk to me. Getting locked in your room, won’t help us resolve this”.

You decided to ignore him and buried your face in your soft pillow. Tears fell in your cheeks, wetting the white fabric. You really didn’t want to fight Bambam in such an important day.

As the time passed, you felt asleep deeply, forgetting your sadness. Just to woke up by a pair of arms circling your waist. The hot air coming from the other person’s mouth send chills through your spine.

“Why were you crying babe?” Bambam asked with his soft low voice.

“I didn’t want to fight… I just wanted a romantic night with you. But I over reacted to Kunpimook.. I’m sorry” you said while he pulled your body closer to his own. His lips left a soft kiss in your neck.

Bambam hated to see you cry, especially when he is the one who made you. He just wanted to see you smile again.

“No dear.. I am the one who should be asking for your forgiveness.. I forgot this important day and acted like a big jerk.. Will you forgive me (Y/N)?”

Your lips meet his, in a silence positive response.


“Jagi? Are you ok? What happened?” Your boyfriend tried to talk to you as you entered running into their dorm, going directly to his bedroom to cry yourself out.

“Why are you crying?” He asked again, closing the door to give you guys some privacy.

“I fought with (your best friend name)… I didn’t want to, but she/he just pissed me in a way I never thought she/he could!” you said almost drowning on your own tears. Yugyeom would be a bit lost, since he didn’t quite know what to do.. He prefered to not ask the motive of the discussion, just in case that it might make you worse.

“What should I do?” You asked hugging him.

He responded to your hug pulling your body even closer, kissing your forehead. He entered in a mental discussion with himself, trying to reach the better answer possible.

“OMG What should I say?? It’s better to stay like this or say something bad about her friend?”

“First of all, stop crying! I hate to see you like this”

You stopped and looked at him.

“Errmm.. now.. *he scratches his neck* I think we should forget that friend of yours, and have some cuddling time! Just the two of us!” He smiled, but it fade away when he notice your serious expression. “What? Was it too stupid?” He asks nervous.

Soon you relax and smile back at him.

“I think you’re just right!” You hugged him again, relaxing and stop crying.

Yugyeom breathed heavily, thinking: “That was close! But I never thought it would be that easy to make her stop crying.. Anything for my jagi!”

This one was a bit bigger than the others! LOL

Gif credits to their original owners!

~ADM Panda

✨ I seriously want to thank all of those who took the time out of there day to send me good vibes, advice, and pure love & light. I felt really hopeless until the community on tumblr made me realize that self-care is truly important. And so is standing up for yourself and making sure that you get what you deserve. I deserve to be happy and worryfree. You all deserve the same. Love and light to all of you 💙

I’ve been tired the past few days, not the normal I am not getting enough sleep tired but the I feel exhausted and I am afraid there could be depression coming on.  Plus, I have been crying for no reason the past few days as well.  I feel overwhelmed at work with all my paperwork (and dammit everyone is showing up so I don’t have extra time to do it) and then I am letting myself get overwhelmed by the wedding stuff.  I know my body and brain and I feel like I need a reset day to get back on track, so I took tomorrow off as a mental health day.

This is the perfect situation for me to go off track completely and eat what I want in the name of stress and whatever.  I didn’t do good on Sunday at all (wedding showcase with all kinds of cake samples) but I managed to get back on track yesterday and was doing good today.

I got home and after hemming and hawing about it, I went to the gym.  I did 3 miles on the elliptical in 35 minutes.  And I made the decision to not go off track and to count points and I have stayed within my limits today.  I am fighting off a potential depressive episode and I did NOT eat my way through tonight and I DID go to the fucking gym. I am so fucking proud of myself right now, I don’t even have the words.  This is HUGE for me and I needed to document it.


I grew up in a city called Smolensk. It was almost totally destroyed during the war— WWII. I was only two when it ended, but growing up there, it was…everything around me was destroyed. The people who survived had done without food, freezing, fighting. They all worked together and fought back somehow. I guess I always wanted to be like that, no matter what. To fight back. “Dangerous” didn’t matter.

Backpack tips

I am a commuter student and last year was my first year of college. It was tougher on me than the students who lived on campus. I had to keep all my things with me all day because I couldn’t just hop over to my dorm if I had forgotten something. I wasn’t a commuter who could drive, I don’t even have a license so I took the bus each day. I had a lot less flexibility and I had to be more conscious of what I had to do each day. I learned a lot about what I had to bring and how to organize my bag each day. I don’t want people to get frustrated so here are some tips!

1) Have a sturdy backpack

I suggest you get one with lots of pockets and space. Pockets help! Also get a backpack with two straps. Shoulder bags dig into your shoulder if they’re too heavy (and they will be). With a backpack the weight is more evenly distributed and it saves you a lot of back pain. I have an Eddie Bauer backpack. Large hiking backpacks are great, and this brand actually has a life time guarantee so if anything happens to it I can return it and get a new one for free (though it has to be the same model).

2) Laptop pockets

Most backpacks have them now but if yours doesn’t have a laptop sleeve to protect your baby. And always have your laptop to the back of your backpack (i.e. closer to you). The front is the place where it can be abused easier. It is bumped more, it bends, that’s where you rest your feet during lectures, and where you have your books and notebooks. Closer is safer.

3) Supplies

Fill your bag with your needed books and supplies with your heaviest closer to you. Books and binders closer to you and folders and notebooks towards the front (away from you). you don’t want to topple over.

Know your schedule! You won’t have all your classes everyday so you can lessen your load on some days and save your back! 

4) Outside pockets

Water Bottle! Stay Hydrated! And try to keep containers away from your laptop and papers. Water bottles tend to sweat.

5) Chargers

Since I commuted it was scarier when my phone would die when I was on campus. My chargers would tangle if I left them loose in my bag. I would lose them also. Use some sort of bag to keep them in one place.

Use some sort of bag to keep them in one place like a ziplock bag or a small zipper pencil bag. Anything will do if the cords are contained. Make sure it is big enough for all your cords (phone charger, computer charger, ipod and its charger, earbuds, etc…)

6) Front Pocket

You keep all your pens and pencils in here just like any other grade. Although if you don’t consistently maintain it you’ll lose everything or it will get horribly messy. These pockets are your friends.

Also if you keep it clean you have room for your charger bag. I had enough room to put in that and a small toiletries bag. If you can’t, don’t sweat it. that can go in the main pocket.

Keep small snacks, a pocket umbrella, and your wallet and/or a lanyard in here. Be careful about the wallet though. People can unzip your pocket and take things. Also it could fall out if you leave it unzipped accidentally. I had a lanyard to hold my bus pass for easy access. When I didn’t wear it I had it in here.

In your wallet keep at least ten dollars in cash with you even if you have a credit/debit card. It could help you if your card is declined or if you are stranded somewhere or whatever. 

I also have a small first aid kit. It is the Altoids can and it only has bandaids in it. While on campus it is very unlikely that you’ll be injured badly or at all on a daily basis besides paper cuts. Unless you forget that it is not good to ride your bike/skateboard in the snow. (This does not cover assault wounds. Call an ambulance or campus security immediately.)

7) Toiletry bag

Most girls have this down but I’ll still explain the best things to bring along. You’ll need a small bag, about the size of the charger bag, for this. Below are some general stuff and some specifics but your bag will be tailored to you and your needs.

General stuff:

1) Deodorant

2) tissues

3) perfume/cologne

4) brush/comb

5) chap stick

6 )gum/ breath mints


1) Pads/ tampons

2) makeup for touch ups

3) condoms

4) hand lotion

5) any needed medications (prescription or topical)

Like I said if it doesn’t fit in the front pocket put it in the main pocket with your books.

8) Zipper accessories

This one you can ignore if you want to. I find it aesthetically pleasing and it individualizes your bag to fit you. Also it is easier  to grab your zippers and open them when you need to. You can use anything that can clip on to your zippers.

9) Keys

You will probably have a set of keys by now so you probably have a carabiner. If you don’t you can get them cheap at Walmart. I keep my keys clipped on the outside of my bag so i always know where they are. Clip them to the straps if you have the little plastic D-rings but if your straps are naked you can clip your keys to the handle on the top of your backpack. 

On my carabiner I have my house key, bike key, accessories, and pepper spray. I suggest this for everyone no matter who you are. Knives are good but in a confrontation they can be taken from you. If you have long days away and a long commute like me you’ll probably be getting home in the dark. Better safe than sorry. I got mine from Target.

That’s really all I have to share about how to pack your backpack for commuter students. This can be adapted for anyone and for anything. You can use this same concept for trips, high school, overnight stays, or anything. I hope this helped and I hope you all have the best of luck in school!

Anger and Fear

Title: Anger and Fear

Pairing: Asanoya

Warning: Omegaverse, blood, uncomfortable sexual situations

Notes: For this anon —> [X] who wanted me to write a fic where Noya gets jumped on while he is on his heat. Sorry this took so long, and I hope we both have the same definition for the word ‘jumped’. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and this is what you wanted!!! 

Keep reading

give me modern vexleth AU where they are both nature bloggers and they randomly meet up while hiking the Bruce trail ((vex swears there’s been a bear following her but she keeps her food secure and an eye at her back and nothing has happened yet))
and then they realize they’ve been mutuals for literal years
and they fall in LOVE on a BEAUTIFUL HIKE and it’s full of tent sharing and skinny dipping and marveling at how the sun hits faces at just the right angle and taking sneaky portraits of each other

Lee Taemin x Male Reader

Written By: Admin Sherlock

Relationship ( So Far ;] ) :

Both are good friends with the same person, Lee Jinki.

Scenario :

Jinki has been telling you how sad it is that you’ve never dated anyone, so you get tired of it one day.

~Lee Taemin x Reader~

Blind Date

>Your PoV<

I took a sip of the coffee my good friend had bought me, listening to his pointless speech, “I just can’t believe you’ve never been in a relationship, what about all those people I’ve run into when I go to your house?”

I sighed, “I get sexually frustrated sometimes, it’s normal.”

Jinki rolled his eyes, “This isn’t healthy (Y/N), what if you contract something.”

“So what do you want me to do”, I inquired, scowling, “It’s not like I sleep around with strangers, I make sure they’re clean.”

Keep reading

This Boy - Chapter 19

A/N: here is the full chapter!! tbh i kind of teared up writing this.. i hope you enjoy! it takes place a few weeks after chapter 18.


The night I had spent with John at Strawberry Fields was amazing. We talked all night, literally, until the sun came up. It was amazing, almost like getting to know him all over again.

The medication had been working well for John, he seemed much happier and much more confident. Our relationship had changed. For the better, though. We didn’t see each other everyday, but John always made sure to call me before he went to bed. We had a nice system going, and I never thought it would change.

Until the day John told me we were going to Hamburg.

Keep reading

Mad with power...

Three different people. Three different business proposals. All addressed today.

I said: Nope! Not gonna turn your book into an ebook. But I can tell you what resources I use.

I said: If you want to do grants, here’s how you go about it, but…fyi: You don’t want to do grants. Trust me. Here’s a better way. (And if they insist I’ll tell them to find another grant writer ‘cause I am not wasting my time there.)

I said: I don’t get involved with in-depth SEO marketing or social media content creation. But I can help by improving your website copy and making suggestions for fixing your layout/organization. If you want that, I’m happy to help.

Today was the day that all my old careers came back to haunt me. But I took the measure of how I feel about those skills, what I want to spend my time on, and what I really think about the routes these people are taking with their projects.

I said no a lot. But I was honest. And I didn’t say yes just because it would’ve meant another check.

It feels damn good.