It’s that I hate to hurt you
But I got to be honest
I can’t give you what you need
You deserve more than I can promise
And I’m just tryna, I’m just tryna
Baby, I’m just tryna be honest
Tom glanced up from his phone to see [Y/N] walking towards the table he had grabbed just outside their favorite lunch spot. Tucking his phone into his back pocket, he stood up and gave her a hug. It took everything in him to avoid kissing the lips he had gotten used to. Watching as she sat across from him, his heart broke at the fact that in less then thirty minutes, she wouldn’t be glowing like she usually did.
“What did you need to talk about? Sounded pretty serious.”
Tom pressed his lips together, running his hands over his thighs as he prepared his thoughts. “Um, I wanted to, uh, we need to um.” Clearing his throat, he closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know how else to say it other then we need to break up.”
Suddenly regretting opening his eyes, he frowned at her expression. The pain and confusion radiated off her eyes. Running his hands over his face, he groaned. He should have rehearsed this in his head or at least ease into the conversation. “I don’t want to but it’s just, I can’t. It’s so difficult to be in a relationship right now. With the stress and demand I’m in, I just, I.” Tom looked at her, biting his lip. “Say something, [Y/N].”
[Y/N] leaned back in her seat, her chest feeling like it had been run down by a train. “I don’t know what to say right now, I’m kind of blanking on words.”
Tom reached for her hands, rubbing his thumb over them. “I love you, [Y/N]. I probably always will but you deserve so much more from me and I just physically can’t give it to you. I’m not going to ask you to wait because that is beyond unfair to ask that of you. I’m being honest with myself and with you.”
She gently drew back her hands, placing them in her lap, she took a shaky inhale. “Is there, is there someone else?”
“No! Absolutely not.” Tom cried out, shocked that she would even ask that. “I promise, [Y/N]. There is no one else, no one but myself influenced this decision.”
[Y/N] couldn’t really say if she believed him or not. She had seen the premieres and had even been to a few after-parties. She had seen the looks some of the girls their age had given him. It would be easy considering she was off doing her thing and he was off doing his most times.
“[Y/N], look at me.” He said gently, waiting for her to meet his gaze, he firmly stated. “No one else in this world has my eye, it’s only you. But, I just can’t give you what you deserve. I want to, god, I want to. I want it to be like it was, us cuddling on the couch watching a film with Tess trying to eat our popcorn. I want those back but with Spiderman and other opportunities, I-”
“-you don’t have to explain yourself, Tom.” She cut him off, unable to listen to anymore. “I get it, you’re growing into this incredible actor and you have walk through the doors as they open. I understand. I’d never want to hold you back.”
“Oh, [Y/N], love. This isn’t about me, at all. It’s about you. I want you, always. But, I won’t always be able to and before it gets to that point where we end things on bad terms, I want to save it.” Sighing, he ruffled his hair and whimpered out. “I love you so much and I want it to work but my time is-”
“-I understand, Tom.” [Y/N] pressed her lips together, standing up, she leaned over and pressed a light kiss on the creases of his forehead. Pulling apart, she felt a tear slid down her cheek and land on his hand. Wiping away the streak, she took a quick inhale and tried to find her composure. “I, um, I should get going”
“Uh,” wiping away a few more tears, “yeah?”
“I really do love you, okay? Please don’t ever believe that I didn’t.”
Nodding, she gave a small wave. “Got it, I won’t forget.”
Tom watched as she spun on her heel and walk away. Little did she know that even though she was feeling like the whole world was crashing down. Tom was feeling like someone had stabbed a knife in his chest and was continuously twisting it inside. It hurt to watch her walk away, to watch her walk away from their love, walk away from the last few years, and incredibly difficult to watch her walk away crying because he was the one who caused her to do so.
Sitting back, he closed his eyes. The choice he had made was only benefiting her in the long run. [Y/N] deserved so much more attention than he had been giving her the last few months. Opening his eyes, he stood up and started his walk back home. As he took his first steps, he felt the full extent of the blow of having just broken up with her. What if he had made a mistake?