it sort of feels like a gunshot wound

Sometimes, still, Carl will look at Negan and wonder why he didn’t kill him when he had the chance, when they were at Alexandria for the first time in two months and his dad, everyone, had ambushed the trucks, held their guns to Negan’s head and told Carl to bash his brains in with Lucille. It isn’t as if he’s never killed before—hell, he killed his own mom, and for all his shit-talking Negan’s right, you don’t come back from that. Three years on Carl still wakes up sometimes sweating feeling like her hand is on his wrist, like she’s staring at him from a pool of blood, her stomach slashed open in ribbons. His mom hadn’t exactly been there for him but he still misses her in a gaping aching sort of way, like a gunshot wound, when he allows himself to think of her at all.

But he hadn’t killed Negan. He hadn’t even tried. Lucille in his hand and everyone, his dad, Michonne, Daryl—even some of the Saviors, though Carl’s sure they’ve been taken care of since—screaming at him to do it and he’d looked down at Negan, at that face he knew he was supposed to loathe with his entire being, and it was like he couldn’t even breathe. The sun shining on the back of his neck and the rest of Alexandria surrounding them, closing in, first time he’d seen the place in eight full weeks and it hadn’t even felt like home anymore.

He killed Glenn, the logical half of Carl’s brain yells at him. And Abraham might’ve been a dick but he didn’t deserve going down like that. 

He killed Glenn and Maggie would kill you if she knew.

But Maggie’s not here. Maggie’s at Hilltop. Carl’s at the Sanctuary. And Negan’s alive, and try as he might, Carl can’t bring himself to regret that. Not yet.

Well, at least not most of the time.

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well, we have reached another january 19th of an agents of shield winter hiatus, and we all know what that means, right? agents of frickle frackle turns two today!! that’s right! two years ago today, the first ever frickle frackle was posted! honestly, in some ways it seems like i’ve been doing this for a decade, but in most ways it feel like a lot less than two years. time absolutely flies.

it seems like just yesterday we were waiting to find out whether or not skye was going to survive that gunshot wound inflicted by our old buddy ian quinn (speaking of which, where is that drama queen? i want him back.) it’s hard to believe that we’ve gone from that sort of cliffhanger to a “coulson and fitz just got back from an alien planet and there is an inhuman killer on the loose who used to be may’s husband and oh yeah ward is a zombie with a worm in his head” kinda cliffhanger.

agents of shield and this blog really got me back into the fandom world and for the most part i am grateful for that. admittedly, you guys make me want to disappear off the face of the internet sometimes, but this fandom has also given me some of my best friends. i was going to try and do some sort of list of incredible people and why they mean so much to me here, but then i realized i would start gushing and this post would literally be miles long. but for a SUPER QUICK IN NO ORDER RUN DOWN!!

alessandra, jemma, ali, nia, rach, allie, morgan, jaz, jess, shruti, sarah, madeline, daisy, benji, chris, emily, taylor, rachel, caleb, julia, megan, ari, devin, lizzie, sarah, tasha, rachel, kai, caitlin, olivia, nela, lilia, julia, caitlin, sarah, tiff, deborah, diana, sarah, maii, alora, georgia, nikki, laura, ari, lauren, jess, aND BASICALLY ANYONE I’VE EVER TALKED TO REALLY BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL AMAZING thank you guys for putting up with me and enjoying my ridiculous sense of humor!!!!

i was lowkey hoping this blog would hit 10k followers before the two year mark, and you guys let me down by a grand total of eleven. E L E V E N. NICE JOB :) JK JK JK JK

but in all seriousness, i’m just as happy doing this whether i have nine thousand followers or ninety. i love hearing all of your wild headcanons and theories and jokes and i swear u guys, your tags on my posts are always crack me up. thank you for always being supportive and encouraging. i love you all!!!!