it smells like sewage

I’m Temping right now for a student accommodation company.

The building recently got re-done to update and it is one gods-damn problem after another.

The ground floor drains are blocked or cracked because it smells nasty, like sewage.

There’s small flies all down the ground floor corridors.

We can’t even order light bulbs because everything is on back order.

And now there’s water gushing from the first floor down the walls.

And I have a feeling the plumber doesn’t want to come out because he already has two outstanding invoices with this company.

Imagine Getting Intimate With Jungkook But Your Pussy Stank

You and Jungkook were getting hot and heavy.

when suddenly you were interrupted by something.

Jungkook: What’s that smell?

Y/N: I don’t smell anything.

Jungkook: *sniffs* It smells like raw sewage and sour kimchi.

Y/N: Are you sure?

Jungkook: Yes I’m sure, bitch. *sniffs again* It smells like it’s coming from you.

Y/N: That can’t be possible. I bathed last month.

Jungkook: L a S t M o N t H ????

Y/N: Yup. 

Jungkook: AND YOU WERE GONNA LET ME EAT YOU OUT???

Y/N: *shrugs* What’s the problem?

Jungkook: Oh, I don’t know…maybe the fact that your pussy smells like its  decomposing?

Y/N: Do you wanna finish?

Jungkook: Nah fam chill.

(credit to gif owners!!!)

3

Flint is still charging its people for poisoned water

The city of Flint, Michigan, still charges its constituents for water. Water that a team from Virginia Tech revealed to be toxic, in many cases. Water that runs yellow and brown and smells like sewage even when it doesn’t. And according to Flint residents who spoke to Mic this weekend, that water costs an exorbitant amount each month.

“We were in Malaysia a couple of months ago, and we climbed the tallest known tropical tree on earth. We also ate durian the whole time.”
“What is that?”
“It smells like sewage, but it’s called the ‘King of Fruits.’”

Murdo, SD

What the signs farts smell like

Aries: sewage
Taurus: bad breath
Gemini: dishes that have been roasting in filthy water
Cancer: acid-y vomit and tears
Leo: hot trash
Virgo: yellow piss
Libra: eggs
Scorpio: wet dog
Sagittarius: boiling chicken
Capricorn: Cow poop
Aquarius: rotten milk
Pisces: fish market

After a hot shower, you pull on the T-shirt Abby gave you and some black yoga pants. You comb out your hair with the comb on the counter and look at yourself in the mirror. Your shirt says 12 Nations School of Medicine.

That shower was really nice. Every since moving in with the Blakes, you have gotten used to the rain showers with the nice water pressure and continually running hot water.

The shirt smells nice and you put it over your nose for a second before stepping out of the bathroom. You definitely smell a lot less like sewage. You wander toward the back of the house and find Abby sitting in a pool lounger, drinking some kind of juice out of a glass. There’s another glass of juice on the table next to her.

You plop down on the chair next to the table and lay back in the chair. “Thanks for the shower.”

“It was really the very least I could do,” Abby smiles at you. “The pizza will be here in fifteen minutes.”

“We have some time,” you decide to tease her because you like the way she smiles when you do, “Do you have anything else for me to fix? Or some more dirty water to spray on me?”

She laughs quietly and looks over at you, “I guess I’ll have to include some hazard pay huh?”

“Oh you don’t have to pay me,” you immediately wave her off. Something about taking money from her doesn’t feel right to you. You’re enjoying yourself actually. It’s a nice break from the nerds you go to school with and the ridiculously adventurous Blakes that you live with.

“C'mon, Raven,” she reaches over and touches your arm, “I would feel bad if I didn’t give you something for all the trouble I’ve put you through.”

You look down at the hand on your arm. You look at the manicured fingernails and her soft skin. You want to put your hand on top of hers and keep it on your arm, but she withdraws it before you can. You take a deep breath and pick up the juice. You take a drink. “I think lunch makes up for it.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

(1)on the topic of business that are unsanitary. The mall I work at was having an issue where our ENTIRE STORE would smell like sewage and they wouldn't do a single thing to fix it. It began having adverse health effects on us, I was constantly having asthma attacks, other people were getting sick. One day, a guest was shopping, turns out he's a doctor? Asked us about the smell then said 'If you're smelling it then it's getting into your body. Give me the mall number, I'm going to make it stop.'

Fresh-Clean-Laundry

After I hang up my last damp towel
too impatient to wait in the laundry mat
an extra ten minutes for them to dry
I am free to head to the counter,
free to pour another glass of wine
to daydream next to the breezy window
of the north woods I once knew
The smell of laundry detergent wafting 
through the apartment, slightly counteract
the smell of sewage or smoke nearby
are nothing like the airy smells of the 
sullen, crisp woods 
the constant shadow of the large oak trees
are the only thing that the sun could reach
The swamps filled with long grass,
taller than the childhood version of me
with the scarcity of human interactions
my mind was a storybook that lived inside
Through the brush, placing one foot
after another, I wanted nothing more 
then to find conversation other than listening
to my own breathe, until I reached the grey house
on the hill, not content with the stillness 
both inside and out 

I watched the single dryer sheet aimlessly 
float through the room
I think of the child in me, the hidden nomad 
that had already left my family when my mind 
became a reality, knowing all too well
what I wanted
From their landline, I braced for a dial tone 
The calm, change
they didn’t leave from underneath the trees,
but I was long gone from the shadowy earth