it should be illegal to be this good looking

from a comrade

“Planning to hit the streets to raise some hell? I commend you. You’re doing the hard work we need right now. Just remember to buy yourself some face coverage.

A bandana is always fashionable, but a balaclava provides more coverage and a more secure fit should you need to run. Plus it’s a lot warmer, which is important for these winter protests. A keffiyeh is a classic look, and wrapped correctly provides good coverage as well. Avoid shit like the Guy Fawkes mask; poor visibility, and you look like a dweeb.

"But friend,” you might protest. “Why do I need a mask if I’m not planning on doing anything illegal?” Excellent question! There are several reasons:

1. You don’t know when an illegal tactic will play out around you. You don’t want to be caught on camera next to someone smashing bank windows.
2. If only the black bloc masks up, the police immediately know who to prioritize. Even if you don’t personally involve yourself in such tactics, it’s important to stand in solidarity with your more militant brethren. They are the stick to your carrot, and we need both to be functional.
3. As these protests go on and become more disruptive, the Nazis will take an interest in direct action of their own. They’re already putting out literal bounties on resisters. The peacefulness of your protest will not protect you from the hate machine if you happen to get doxxed in a protest photo.

Fight back. Fight hard, or soft, as it pleases you. Fight together. But please, please be safe. <3"

HOCKEY PLAYERS LOOKING SO DAMN FUCKING FINE LIKE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. LIKE TAKE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING GOLD CHAIN THAT PEAKS OUT OF YOUR JERSEY AND GIVE ME A SECOND TO TAKE A DEEP BREATHE, SIT DOWN AND SIP SOME WATER BEFORE I FUCKING HYPERVENTILATE FROM YOUR STUPID GOOD LOOKING FACE AND BODY AND FUCKING GREAT PERSONALITY THAT HAS STUPID ASS TENDENCIES. LIKE GET OUT OF HERE AND GIVE ME A SECOND TO FUCKING BREATHE FUCKING HELL.
Stereotypical (6) second date

Bucky Barnes x reader AU (short series)

Notes: angst, mentions of abuse, swearing, flirting, fluff, Bucky is a hopeless romantic.

A/N: Second date with heartfelt conversations.

“So, you didn’t tell her where you’re taking her? Or should I say, how?” Steve snickers and rolls his eyes when he sees Bucky’s mischievous grin.

How I’m taking her? Really, the mouth on you, Rogers..” Bucky grins triumphantly when Steve’s cheeks turn pink and he rolls his eyes again.

“You know what I mean, jerk”

“Yeah, yeah, punk” Bucky snickers. “No, I haven’t told her that I’m picking her up on my motorcycle. But I told her to not bother with her hair and I texted her earlier to wear pants, just in case she was planning to wear a skirt or somethin’”

Steve snorts when Bucky makes a disappointed sigh.

“What?” he chuckles and takes a sip of his own drink, “I like her in skirts”

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cheesy pick up lines pt 2.

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”
“Sorry, I can’t hold on… I’ve already fallen for you.”
“Is your dad a drug dealer? Because you’re dope.”
“Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.”
“Kissing burns 5 calories a minute. How about a workout?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
“Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?”
“You’re so hot you must’ve started global warming.”
“I may not be DQ, but I could treat you right.”
“Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!”
“Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number.”
“Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.”
“If you were a library book, I would check you out.”
“Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle!”
“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!”
“If I followed you home, would you keep me?”
“Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.”
“A face without freckles is like a night sky without stars.”
“Do you know karate? Cause your body’s kickin!”
“I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!”
“All those curves, and me with no brakes!”
“You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.”

Dean glanced at you out of the corner of his eye before moving to remove a layer from his suit. His jaw was set tight as he turned away from you, focusing on the work at hand. He had no idea the effect that he was having on you. 

It should have been illegal for him to look that good, you thought to yourself as you watched him shrug off his suit jacket and move to throw it over the chair he moved to sit in.

When you caught a glimpse of the vest underneath it, your breath caught in your throat. The way it hugged his torso made every muscle in your body go rigid. You stared at his shoulders, broad and muscular, and wondered what would happen if you ran your hand across them. 

Would Dean turn and look at you like you were crazy? Would his muscles twitch in response, causing him to shiver underneath you? Would the gesture go unnoticed as he focused on the research and case in front of him?

You’d never crossed that boundary with Dean, but you had come close on multiple occasions. The two of you always had the worst timing, inevitably you were interrupted in one way or another, nine times out of ten by Sam. 

You watched as Dean moved to sit in the chair, scooting himself to the edge of the chair so that he could focus on the task at hand. Sam was out wrapping up interviews with witnesses. If ever you had an opportunity to make a move, now was the time. 

You stepped behind Dean and carefully placed your hands on his shoulders, digging your fingers into his muscles, ever so lightly. He was tight and wound up, and he groaned in response. 

“What the hell,” he muttered, rolling his neck involuntarily as your fingers danced along his shoulder muscles, working to loosen the taut, overworked muscles. “Damn, that feels amazing,” he breathed, his head rolling forward as your fingers moved to his neck, working out the knots. 

“What about that?” you leaned over, whispering in his ear, your chest purposefully pressed against his back, your fingers massaging his thick neck. You could feel goosebumps break out along his skin, and you couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips. You let your mouth graze his ear lightly as you pulled away. 

Dean turned his head and looked at you, his eyes full of questions and lust blown all at the same time. 

You smiled down at him, cupped his face and went for it. You pressed your lips to his. Electricity shot through your body and you gripped Dean’s face with both hands, holding to you as you deepend the kiss. 

He turned in his seat and pulled you into his lap, forcing you to straddle him. You gasped against his mouth as he pulled you down onto his growing erection, and you couldn’t help but roll your hips against his. He ran his hands up under your dress shirt and his fingers danced along your bare back as you continued to kiss him. 

You began to loosen his tie, pulling away from his swollen lips and ripping the off his neck.

“Eager?” he smiled at you, his fingers digging into your hips as you moved to unbutton his shirt. You kissed him again. Hungry and needy. 

Suddenly the door swung open. 

“So, guys, get this,” Sam started before his eyes fell on you. “Oh, god. Seriously guys?” he sighed, clearly exasperated. You could hear a hint of something in his voice, but couldn’t quite make it out. 

You and Dean turned to him simultaneously and spoke at the same time. 

“Get out, Sam!” you both practically yelled. 

You looked at each other and couldn’t help but laugh, Dean practically tearing open your dress shirt, little white buttons flying across the room. 

Sam’s eyes widened. He grabbed his bag and darted out the door. “I’ll get my own room,” he mumbled with a laugh. 

Dean kissed you again, a trail of kisses running down the column of your neck. “I’m not letting anything get in the way this time, sweetheart,” he growled against your neck, pushing your bra strap off your shoulder. “This is happening right now. Tell me if you don’t want this as bad as I do,” he said, pulling away and looking into your eyes. 

“I want this, Dean,” you whispered, your hands coming together at the base of his neck. His eyes darted back and forth between yours. He must have found the answer he was looking for because he stood and moved to the bed, gently laying you down, watching with a smile as you bounced lightly. 

“It’s about damn time,” he moaned, removing your skirt. 

You tossed your head back with a laugh. That damn suit made all the difference, and you growing a pair and making the final move. This was going to be a night you remembered for a long, long time. 

So I know we all headcanon that Bitty is very likely enemy number 1 for the nutritionist of the NHL but what if instead…

Jack very miserably comes to the nutritionist office and waits to discuss his new diet plan, and then when he gets it he just kind of puppy dog eyes her, nods and leaves.

Now Claire feels horrible and she doesn’t even know what she’s done.

George is the one who sighs and rolls her eyes. “It’s about the pie.”

“That’s what cheat days are for.”

“He’s dating a baker, there’s care packages. He doesn’t have the heart to tell them to stop, so now he gives the stuff away. It’s sad to watch but I have dibs on first pick.”

And well shit if the guy wants to eat pie made by his gf who is stopping him?

“You.”

“Oh, right.”

And here’s the thing Claire is the best at her job ok? She knows, like any good nutritionist knows, that if you want to get your clients to follow their plans you have to get the wife, girlfriend, mom or significant other in their life on your side.

Also you have to adjust things to make it easy for them to follow the plan, because if you are too strict then they are gonna cheat anyways and lie about it.

So she schedules a meeting with Jack, and tells him maybe they can come up with a compromise.

Jack shows up armed with a folder that contains all the ingredients on the pies, a letter explaining that this is a secret family recipe and if she tries to steal it there will be *consequences*, photos of the pies and a petition signed by the entire Samwell hockey team in Jack’s behalf.

(Jack doesn’t tell her till later, but there was also a power point if she said no.)

There’s also a selection of mini pies.

And Claire is passionated about healthy eating, she gives talks in high schools and volunteers with programs and when she’s eating that pie she honestly couldn’t give two fucks about all the butter and sugar it’s shoved in there.

So Claire and Jack come to a compromise. He can have three slices of pie a week, not counting his cheat day, but she puts a limit on the sugar content and butter.

And also, and this is very important, there will be no providing of pie to the rest of the team. Because she knows that while Jack has the will power of a God to be able to date somebody that bakes stuff this good and follow his diet plan, the rest of the team won’t.

She gets a lovely and healthy carrot cake from the gf and her life is made, seriously this should be illegal.

And if sometimes when Jack goes to visit the girl (later on she finds out she’s actually a he and Jack Zimmermann taste in men is flawless) he returns unable to look at her in the eye, she pretends not to know he’s been cheating, and doesn’t tell him about the baked goods (bribes) that are surely on the mail under her name.

After all she’s entitled to some cheat days of her own.

Only downside is that George might never forgive her…

gomboc123  asked:

Fatality: Roy with his shoulder-length hair and wearing eyeliner

I  am deceased!!! hOLY craaaaAAAP I HAVE ASCENDED!! Farewell~

Spandex is for amateurs

Blueliner was pretty cute for a superhero, but then again so was Derek Nurse…


Dex had known his day was going to be awful. Nothing bad had actually happened that morning, but there was that feeling in the pit of his stomach. That all too familiar feeling that meant he’d run into him today, which meant Dex left his place wary of everything and everyone.

He was right to be suspicious.

Dex’s face was pressed down into the disgusting carpet, a heavy boot resting on his back. The boot, sitting heavily on an old bruise, was an uncomfortable pressure that got worse the longer it was there. He crushed the urge to shift and lay stiffly on the ground. It wasn’t even lunch yet and his day had gone to shit.

“Hurry up, Chad! That’s enough for now. We gotta get out of here before-“ 

The Chad at the till let out a cry of “Chad!” as the boot, and attached Chad, flew off of Dex and into the wall. He was wrestled to the ground, quickly cuffed, and Money Chad darted for the bank entrance. Before he made it beyond a few steps, Money Chad was trussed up like his partner. It was over in the blink of an eye.

Honestly, what was wrong with these guys.

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squirrellygirlart  asked:

"Were the handcuffs necessary?"

“Were the handcuffs necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you had been a naughty kitty and naughty kitties get punished.”

“But, Princess, I already said sorry.”

“Too bad, Chaton. You will stay like that for a little longer.”

“Please, My Lady, let me go. Please, please, I beg you, pleaseeeeee.”

Marinette bit her lip and tried to concentrate on her sketches. Honestly, she did. But had you ever seen Adrien Agreste’s kitten eyes? They were the most dangerous weapon of France. They should be illegal when used on simple people such as herself. Superhero alter ego doesn’t count when the kitten eyes are taken into account.

“Oh, fine!”

Marinette marched to him and unlocked the pink puffy handcuffs, ettin Adrien free. “What did you learn today?”

Adrien looked at her sheepishly. “I’m not allowed to play with my lady’s yarns after I ate 18 cream cupcakes like a heathen and had frosting all over my face and hands.”

Marinette pat him on the head. “Good kitten.”

In light of men trying to control women in terms of having to take responsibility for their sex lives, I’d like to remind you of something taught by Elle Woods. Word for word taken from Legally Blonde The Musical, Elle points out that
“All masturbatory emissions where the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg could be called Reckless Abandonment.”


In short, if you’d like to prevent women from aborting because ‘its their own fault they’re pregnant and they should have to deal with it because otherwise it’s not fair to the child…unless you’d like it to also be illegal for you to come inside of a woman unless you are specifically looking to reproduce, you should back off.