other reality cooking shows:
TEN ASSHOLES in a room, all of them PUMPED UP on CRYSTAL METH and THIRSTY for HUMAN BLOOD. we’re gonna SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY their self-esteem until one of them LOSES IT, throws HOT FAT in another one’s FACE and DISFIGURES THEM FOR LIFE. you are GUARANTEED to DIE of second hand anxiety
*yawns* that was ok i guess. a nice relaxing watch before bed
the great british bake off:
we are going to find the twelve most adorable people in the uk and politely request them to whip up some of britain’s favourite sweet treats. they will talk in soft voices, make self-deprecating jokes, and emotionally support one another. an elderly lady and her middle-class henchman are going to sample their bakes and offer gentle feedback.
oh my GOD are you trying to KILL me I CAN’T HANDLE THIS my HEART’s exploding this should be ILLEGAL @bbc TONE IT THE FUCK DOWN
Have you seen this gif? I was tagged in a post with this gif (and have since lost that post somewhere in my hoards of likes, oops) and let me tell you, my life was enriched for having seen it.
So here’s an AU:
Graves is a celebrity with everything that entails: tv appearances, photoshoots, even just going up on stage to receive an award. He has a whole team dedicated to managing his life and his appearance including this one guy on the makeup team, this young guy with the curly hair who’s just starting out and is terrified of doing something wrong and getting fired from his first big job.
And honestly, Newt doesn’t mean to get things wrong. But. One of the dogs was sick, and he had to clean it up and stay long enough to make sure she was ok, he couldn’t just leave her until he knew she was alright - but work - but dog - in the end he sneaks Niffler the dog into the back room and hopes no one notices and stammers his way through an apology for being late. And his budgie, little blue and yellow guy called Pickett, he has attachment issues - birds are really intelligent, you know? Much more so than we give them credit for. So Newt sneaks him in and he’s usually so good about staying out of the way, but sometimes he sits on Newt’s ear and preens his tousled mop and that’s just a thing. And the cats, Newt has a lot of cats - to be honest he doesn’t even mean to have a lot of cats but somehow he keeps adopting strays - and do you know how hard it is to get cat hair off your clothes? Hard.
So there’s Newt, stumbling over his words with a bird on his shoulder and cat hair over his clothes and a cocker spaniel hiding in the back room and he’s only meant to be sweeping up and handing people things, that’s all he’s meant to do.
Except Graves points at him and asks him if he’s new. And then, because Newt blushes scarlet and he really is far too cute to overlook, Graves waves him over.
“Show me what you’ve got,” he says with a challenging smirk and Newt kind of just dies? because? Percival fucking Graves is god’s gift to mankind and Newt gets to style his actual hair that’s it, he’s reached nirvana, goodbye budgie-Pickett Newt has ascended to a higher plain.
He doesn’t actually remember much of the experience because he was too busy floating on a cloud of happy (interspersed by random bouts of fear because what if Graves doesn’t like it and Newt gets fired and never gets to touch this amazing man again what will he do) but somehow he ends up waiting in the wings with Niffler the spaniel sitting on his feet and Pickett the budgie on his shoulder and somehow Niffler’s stolen not one but three of the makeup brushes and is chewing on them which probably isn’t good, but Graves is on stage now and that’s all that matters.
“Looking good,” the presenter compliments him, and Graves responds by staring out to the audience and running his tongue over his lip jesus christ Newt has been revived from death-by-hair only to die again how much more can he take.
Except. Except then. Just at the end Graves flicks his gaze to the side and looks Newt straight in the eyes. He finishes with this satisfied little smirk and Newt actually crouches on the floor and hides behind Niffler because holy fucking hell wHAT.
Niffler, the traitor, trots out onto the stage and presents a well chewed brush to Graves while Newt attempts to hide behind a lighting rig and pretend he doesn’t exist.
“A new admirer?” the presenter jokes. “She’s a cutie, isn’t she?”
And Graves, clearly not content with the extent to which Newt’s brain has been scrambled, smiles this beatific, conspiratorial smile as he kneels down and scratches Niffler behind the ear, does he have any idea how much Newt loves people who love his dogs, because it’s a lot, ok, a lot, and says:
“Viktorrrrrrr!” Yuuri leans in close enough that Viktor can smell the scent of alcohol riding the slurred syllables of his own name, and presses his hands to both sides of Viktor’s face. “How are your eyelashes so long?”
Viktor shrugs, grins at his very drunk boyfriend and reaches out to place a steadying hand on the small of his back. “I guess I was born that way!”
Yuuri squints. His cheeks are flushed and his stare is very, very intent on Viktor’s face. “They’re so long,” he marvels, clumsily tilts Viktor’s face this way and that, examining him from all angles. “Yurio! Come look at how long Viktor’s eyelashes are!”
“Hard pass,” Yurio answers. He doesn’t even look up at the two of them, his eyes glued to his phone, sitting in an armchair amidst the remnants of the dinner party their friends had left behind.
Fortunately, Yuuri doesn’t seem too bothered. He just continues to examine Viktor’s face with the singleminded determination of someone discovering something magical and life changing. Sure, Viktor knows he’s handsome, but this is definitely mostly the liquor.
Still, you’d have to be made of stone for Yuuri’s compliments to have no affect on you. Viktor is very decidedly not made of stone, and he’s not at all ashamed of the slight warmth he can feel blooming in his cheeks. What can he say; there’s no one in the world he’d rather compliment him than Yuuri.
Do you have more yousana headcanons to post?? i love them!
yousef is one of the only people who can calm down a highly stressed sana the others being her familly, jamilla and chris
yousef loves watching sana study because when she is so focused, she has the best expressions
it took sana a while before yousef became her person because she always had safer options (jamilla, elias & chris) but when sana first got in med school she was so happy, the first person she wanted to call was yousef and she realised that little by little yousef became her person
the first date they had after yousef came was a basketball date because he trained when he was turkey
“Am I better than Stephen Curry, right ?”
“Not even close”
they went to a Karpe Diem concert together but that the balloon squad totally crashed their date
the boys have #noregrets when yousef scolded them on the way back when sana fell asleep in the car
in their groupchat
the day after/week/month
sana, yousef and elias have their own special movie nights where they rewatch their favourite movies from when they were kids
yousef wakes at 6 in the weekends so he can casually meet sana at her morning run at 7
sana figueres it around the fifth time they run together
like they both decided if even and isak asks them to hang out they would never go to the movies because even is the worst and isak either zones out during his rants or just give him heart eyes like they rather go to the movies with magnus and vilde
sana and yousef don’t even need to talk when they are hanging out, they both like the quietness and comfort of it
yousef is such a calm influence on sana like he makes sure she eats and takes breaks when she studies because she can go 7 hours with out
they have a lot coffee/tea dates !!!!!
the balloon squad always teases yousef because sana has such a straight face until they once caught sana off guard and she started blushing so much when they mentioned yousef and they are so in shook that they couldn’t tease her
yousef thinks sana’s face is a work of art because damn she is beautiful like her eyes, her nose is adorable, her cheekbones should be illegal ???? not to mention her smile ?? it is not fair ??? for her to be that pretty AND THAN HE HASNT SPOKEN ABOUT HER DIMPLES and the worst part her soul is even prettier