it seems like it's the ultimate question

Got a POT who’s making you crazy?  Here are a couple reasons why!

Sugar relationships are supposed to be simple. Both sides “benefit” in many ways and the resulting relationship can be fulfilling, exciting, enriching, erotic, playful and stimulating during its entire life and not be burdened with all of the baggage, drama, jealousies, insecurities, and abuse that pervades if not dominates “vanilla” relationships.

And, if your sugar relationship resembles the type of “vanilla” relationship I just described, or, as commonly, if your search for a SD seems to turn up POTs that act like every jerky, creepy, abusive, immature boyfriend you have ever had, you probably ask yourself, “hey, how did it turn out that way and is sugaring worth it?”

 Ultimately, the answer to the question of whether sugaring is worth it is a personal choice that you, and you alone, have to make, but, I have been thinking about the first question, “how and why does this happen” and, not surprisingly, I have a couple of thoughts on the subject!

 My first thought was that sadly, many men get really, really weird when it comes to young women, sex and money, and, mixing all of that together to concoct the sugaring confection, makes them simply go off their rockers.  There are so many societal taboos, restrictions, norms and judgments that pressurize the situation that it seems to bring out the worst in some men, and it always amazes me that they are not “self-aware” enough to see it happening.

 And some of the manifestations of this behavior are annoying as fuck – at their most benign – or scary as hell – at their most sinister and malicious.  Everything from cloying affection to stalking and threats; endlessly frustrating negotiations about money to making promises and not keeping them even though you held up your end of the bargain; making demands for sex when you are not ready to raping you when those demands are refused; putting up with some weird if not gross kinks to enduring some of his sick ass sadism or masochism in bed when that ain’t your thing; putting up with annoying, erratic and confusing behavior to realizing that he is a total control freak that manipulates and mind-fucks you at every turn.

 Then, I realized that these guys don’t manifest this behavior just in the bowl; this is just the way they are, this is the way they treat their significant others, business associates and friends in their vanilla life. They don’t get that sugar relationships are supposed to be different, an escape from all that shit.  They like their drama!  They like inflicting pain!  They like making others feel like shit!  They want to bring it all of this nasty behavior with them into the bowl and subject you to it!  And they figure that they are more than entitled to do so, because, hey, they are paying you for the privilege!

The only way to deal with it is to realize that, despite that it is supposed to be a “mutually beneficial” relationship and that money is involved, don’t think that sugaring is materially different from the vanilla world, at least not when it comes to choosing who you are going to let into your sugar world.  That means that your instincts, radar, sixth sense, spider sense … whatever you call it … is your most important tool to weed out the freaks that are intending on fucking you up.  Many of you have warned your sisters to “trust their instincts” and, I am here to tell you that is absolutely true and please never forget that.  Never let the promise of money cloud your judgment! 

There are a lot of men out there that know what being a SD is all about, and do what it takes to make sure that the relationship is truly “mutually beneficial”, but, unfortunately, there are more posers, fakers and monsters who want to use sex and their money as power to dominate, subjugate, control, harass and demean you.  The only things that you have to protect you are your own wits, to try to spot them a mile a way, and each other, to provide useful, honest and caring advice and support to each other!