it seemed to me that this quote was proper for this situation

Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception

Writing with color receives many questions regarding the stereotypes Characters of Color and their story lines may possess.

There’s a difference between having a three-dimensional character with trait variance and flaws, versus one who walks the footsteps of a role people of their race/ethnicity are constantly put into. Let’s discuss this, as well as how sometimes, while there’s not much issue with the character, a biased audience will not allow the character to be dimensional.

But first: it’s crucial to consider the thinking behind your literary decisions.

Trace your Logic 

When it comes to the roles and traits you assign your characters, it’s important to ask yourself why you made them the way they are. This is especially true for your marginalized characters.

So you need an intimidating, scary character. What does intimidating look like on first brainstorm? Is it a Black man, large in size or presence? (aka a Scary Black Man) A Latino with trouble with the law? If so, why?

Really dig, even as it gets uncomfortable. You’ll likely find you’re conditioned to think of certain people in certain roles on the spot.

It’s a vicious cycle; we see a group of people represented a certain way in media, and in our own works depict them in the way we know. Whether you consciously believe it’s the truest depiction of them all or not, we’re conditioned to select them for these roles again and again. Actors of Color report on being told in auditions they’re not performing stereotypical enough and have been encouraged to act more “ethnic.” 

This ugly merry-go-round scarcely applies to (cis, straight) white people as they are allowed a multitude of roles in media. Well, then again, I do notice a funny trend of using white characters when stories need a leader, a hero, royalty, a love interest…

Today’s the day to break free from this preconditioned role-assigning.

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The tragic story of too much info about the sexual relationship of your best friends or why Alya will forever regret trying to kill Adrien

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lunian !!!!!!! Remember when we talked about this? Well, I couldn’t resist writing it. I hope you’ll like it. Crack ahead. And if the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, this has some sexual references in it. Nothing happens, but many are said.


All the people who were still in the courtyard of the Collège Françoise Dupont run for the hills (or in this case, the school building) as Alya Césaire appeared and walked towards her best friend’s boyfriend with all the might of a storm.

“Dude, I think she means you.” Nino stage-whispered to his best friend as his girlfriend made a beeline towards them.

“But my middle name is Bartholomé.” Adrien argued.

Nino rolled his eyes. His best friend really needed to set his priorities straight. “That’s what worries you?”

Adrien gulped. “Burry me in a polka dotted coffin, please.”

Nino was under the impression he wasn’t kidding in the slightest. “Sure, if there is anything left to bury.”

“There won’t be!” Alya snarled as she lifted Adrien by the neck.

Well, this morning is certainly bound to be interesting, Nino thought.

One day, Marinette will be on time to school. One day. Today wasn’t that day. As Marinette speed walked through the school yard she couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, birds were singing, Adrien was being strangled by Alya… wait a second.

“Alya!” Marinette shouted, rushing towards them. “Put him down.”

Her best friend was obviously not happy to have to delay her murder. Meanwhile, Nino considered if he should stop filming the whole thing. If Marinette was here, then maybe there won’t be need of proof for the police for a murder. Though, let’s be real, he would never turn his girlfriend in. He would have just posted the video on YouTube in his collection of An Infinity of Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Piss Alya Off. If he was recalling correctly, this video would be number 2749.

“Alya, what is going on? Why are you strangling my boyfriend.” Marinette questioned crossing her arms, while Adrien was gasping for air on the ground.

“Marinette,“ Alya’s tone was regretful and the sad look in her eyes indicated something bad was coming. “I’m sorry to say this honey, but he is cheating on you.”

And in that moment, Marinette felt her whole world crashing down. “What?! With whom?”

Marinette was dying to hear that answer. Who? Did Adrien really cheat on her? Was it some rabid fangirl who jumped at his bones and Alya just got the wrong impression?

Alya sighed. “With Ladybug.”

Marinette blinked. “Damn.” both her and Adrien whispered maybe a little too loudly. Thus Adrien choked, cause he still didn’t regain his proper breathing.

“That’s… unexpected.” Marinette managed to say, trying to think of something plausible to get them out of this situation. She knew it was a bad idea to make out when only one of them was transformed. Damn Adrien and his filthy thirst for her spots. “It isn’t a problem, though, cause… um… this is… an… open… relationship.”

Oh well, not the worst excuse she could have had come with. Alya crossed her arms obviously expecting an explanation while Nino muttered a ‘dude’ under his breath. That’s when Adrien decided to be a supportive boyfriend.

“Yeah. Marinette has her fun times with Ladybug too,” he said, raising his index finger as if that would help him make a point while he was still laying on the ground.

Why is he like this? Marinette sighed internally.

Alya turned to Marinette with an expression that was a mix of shock and anger. “You are hooking up with Ladybug and you didn’t tell me?!”

Marinette glared down at Adrien, who looked sheepish. “Yeah. And don’t forget about Chat Noir.”

“Chat Noir?” both Alya and Nino screamed simultaneously.

“Yeah,” Marinette stated, looking at Adrien, who finally picked himself off the ground, with a mischievous look. “Why don’t you tell us about your escapades with Chat Noir, Adrien?”

Her boyfriend laughed nervously. “What escapade do you mean?”

Marinette smirked. “Well, you did tell me that Chat Noir found you wearing cute yet sexy Ladybug lingerie.”

At this point, Nino had to turn off his camera, unable to hold his phone anymore. “Dudeeeee.”

Alya, to everybody’s surprise, was silent until now. But there was as much as the shock could keep her from asking. "But what about Ladybug?”

“Oh, she thinks the same” Marinette replied calmly while analyzing her nails.

“No, no, I mean, I thought Chat only loves her.”

“Oh that… well, who can resist this model ass?” she asked rhetorically while slapping Adrien’s ass for emphasis. Nino nodded vigorously as well. Honestly, wasn’t it universal knowledge everybody loved Adrien’s ass?

Adrien glared at Marinette. Not for smacking his ass, mind you. He loved getting his ass smacked by her. But for making fun of his taste in lingerie. Well, if this is how she wanted to play, so be it then. “Of course. So if we are discussing this topic, why don’t you mention that time when Chat caught you wearing lingerie inspired by his outfit?”

’Well, don’t try hiding the fact that once you begged Ladybug to tie you with her yoyo.“ Marinette scoffed, trying to hide her blush. That had been an interesting night.

"I need a bucket,” Alya muttered, not sure what to think of her friends and her idol anymore.

“YOU CALLED CHAT NOIR’S DICK AS A BATON!” Adrien shouted louder than necessary, while blushing.

“I guess, I need one too” Nino said, wishing he will just forget everything that had been said so far. And from now on, because apparently Marinette and Adrien weren’t done.

“Remember when you told Chat Noir that you want a collar with a bell too?”

“Oh, really Marinette, should I remind you that one time when I walked on you and Ladybug and you were blindfolded?”

Nino glanced at Alya. “Are we kink shaming them now or later?”

“Then you asked us if you can be blindfolded instead and, I quote ‘used as your little sex toy’.” that had been a strange day. She had an urge to blindfold herself, Adrien came over unannounced and things escalated quickly and she discovered some new kinks of her boyfriend.

“I guess, if we die right here, right this second, they wouldn’t notice it.” Nino states, but Alya was unable to reply anymore, not sure what to make out of this whole conversation.

“You begged Chat Noir to slap you with his tail belt.” Adrien argued back, while his face was putting any ripe tomato to shame.



"I’m sure it totally does.”

Adrien scoffed, crossing his arms. “But you can deny they suit me.” he knew she liked them. She even said so that night. They had been a little tight, but she had made him a matching pair better fit for his height.

"Jesus, how many moments like this do they have?” Nino questioned, clearly shocked by how kinky his bro was. And he was sort of afraid fo the answer, if he had to be honest.

“What’s more important, why are we still listening to this mess?” it was Alya’s turn to ask questions that will never get answers. “I’m not even sure if I want to use this thing as blackmail or just erase it from my brain forever.”

“To be honest, it would be much better if Adrien really just cheated on Mari with Ladybug,” Nino said hesitantly, obviously scared of Alya’s reaction. “I mean, I wouldn’t have forgiven him if he ever did that, but at least, in that case, us, innocent bystanders wouldn’t have to be traumatized for life.”

Alya could only nod. Honestly, the mental picture fo Adrien in Ladybug themed lingerie left her with brain damage.

After what seemed like an eternity Adrien and Marinette finished their not so little argument, both huffing and as red in the face as the surface of Mars. Not that anybody would say that out loud, given how much of a nerd Adrien is, he would come with some science facts about the color of the surface of Mars.
“So yeah, we have an open relationship.” Marinette concluded, the two of them finally turning to their best friends.

“We got it after the reminder about Chat Noir, thank you.” Nino said, sarcastically.

“Now get outta of my sight, my poor brain had dealt enough with your kinks for now and forever.” Alya ordered waving her hand desperately while rubbing her temple with her free hand.

“Well, if you didn’t want to kill me, none of this would have happened.” Adrien said with a smug smirk.

Alya snarled. "Next time neither Marinette or even fucking Ladybug won’t stop me, Agreste.”

Adrien gulped. Marinette slapped him compassionately on the ass.

Since the Oscars are on Sunday and one of the internet’s boyfriends Ryan Gosling is nominated (but won’t win), I thought I’d update this post here on the lowkey cuteness of Baby Goose’s relationship with his lady of over five six years, Eva Mendes.

As I said before, this is mostly because folks like to pretend, 5+ years and two kids later, that his relationship with Miss Eva is just a fling, or he’s been “trapped” and some go as far as to hope, yes, HOPE, that he will cheat on his gal with Emma Stone or Rachel McAdams or whomever. So since I don’t see this level of disrespect stopping Sunday night or ever, I thought I’d give some love to Ryan’s actual lady love, whether she shows up with him at the Oscars or not (PLEASE SHOW UP, EVA). They are actual low key couple goals.

1. Ryan basically insisted on Eva for the role of his ex in The Place Beyond the Pines, saying Eva, at the time a casual acquaintance/friend of several years and mutual friend of his former co-star Kirsten Dunst, was underrated as an actress. Soon, he took her to Disney and it was on. They both would later say it was one of the best experiences they had on a film.

2. …he clearly was playing the long game on that set, LOOK AT HIS FACE 

Look at him, even when she wasn’t looking, boy was smitten 

3. He took his shot with an admirable quickness

Real quick. And the rest was history.


5. No, really, she’s little. Standing on a big step in heels and yet still small



7. Here’s Ellen getting Eva all blushing and giggling talking about Ryan

Eva’s also hella adorable and hilarious on her own, but I digress.

8. Ryan’s SNL shout out 

9. People trying to act like he’s not in a relationship? Ryan had an app for that

“I know that I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with,” he says, adding that the only quality he looks for in a woman is “that she’s Eva Mendes. There’s nothing else I’m looking for.”

10.  Both dog lovers, Ryan wears Eva’s late dog’s tag on his neck at an event

She also reps his dog on her instagram 

11. They share the same sense of humor, and are both huge fans of Atlanta and Broad City (Eva follows the BC girls on insta, and Ryan would quote BC on twitter. Constantly).

12. Ryan on Eva and their kids:

“Eva’s the dream mother, and they’re dream babies, and it’s like a dream that I’m having right now. I’m dreaming it all. So I feel so lucky…There was nothing kind of premeditated about it, you know. It just suddenly was: My life had changed. And thank God it did.”

And this, as he continues to say a lot with so little

“It sounds so clichéd, but I never knew that life could be this fun and this great.”


When I ask him if he gets lonely, he says: “Not any more.”

Why not? “Because I have a family.” That takes it away? “Mmm-hmm.” But you’ve felt loneliness before? “In my life? Yeah.” When? Why? “I think, before I had a family.”

Ryan also appears to be close with Eva’s sister Janet.

13. Eva wears his clothes.

14. He gave her an emerald ring after the birth of their daughter Esmeralda. The Spanish word for emerald is…Esmeralda.

Eva has also spoken of how they play a lot of Latin music in their home and their insistence on keeping Eva’s culture in their daughters’ lives.

15. Ryan has engaged in a turf war with his daughter against other kids over Eva and Esmeralda’s “honor:”

“Some kid has been erasing [Esmeralda’s] name and writing their name over it. So now I’m in a proper tagging battle. And this kid has access to an unfair amount of chalk. I’m trying to explain to my little girl that this is [unacceptable]. She doesn’t care. She’s like, ‘Well let’s just chalk anywhere else,’ and I’m like, ‘No, no. They’re disrespecting your mother. Because, she gave you this name and they’re erasing it.’ You’ve got to be careful when you’re trying to teach your kid what a reasonable amount of vengeance is.” 

He appears to be very protective of Eva in general, even defending her over a bad joke she made about sweatpants.

16. Ryan constantly gives Eva her due, even when she doesn’t like it:

[’On the making of his directorial debut Lost River] “She hates credit and she’ll even be mad that I’m giving her that credit. But she was very helpful in so many ways.”

And he shared how she was responsible for one of the best lines out of La La Land:

“’LA worships everything and values nothing.’ That was something my lady said to me one day and I thought it was so funny I asked her if I could put it in the movie. She was kidding, but it’s a funny thing to say… I loved when she said it, because it’s funny enough to have some truth to it, you know? But it’s obviously a joke, so it just seemed appropriate for the movie.”

17. This adorable pic, taken at Ryan’s childhood home in Canada:

18. Possible ring situation happening here? How private they are compared to other celebrities, we’ll never know!

19. He really loves his family:

Are you rich, I ask him, halfway through our interview.

“What do you mean?” Gosling asks.

I’m not sure the question needs elaboration, but OK: do you consider yourself rich? Do you feel rich?

He pauses. “I mean, I live with angels,” he says eventually. “So. You know.”

What do you mean, you “live with angels”?

“My daughters” (Gosling has two children, a two-year-old and a nine-month-old) “My girl.” (The actress Eva Mendes, Gosling’s partner, the mother of his children.) “I don’t need anything else.”

20. And, of course, Ryan’s Golden Globes speech, where he acknowledges Eva’s silent, hard work behind the scenes, and honors her late brother:

So that’s it for this long-ass, long-winded post! That’s the last time I’m doing something like this!

Good luck at the Oscars, Ryan, you won’t win but hopefully you’ll have a good night! And hopefully with Eva! Never break up, ya crazy kids!

Finding Closure (Part 5)

Summary: AU. Reader left behind a hometown full of misery to make a new home in Brooklyn. A death in the family forces her to briefly return to the place that has haunted her dreams and memories for three years. Will she finally be able to move on, or will a figure from the past change everything?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,082

Warnings: angst, language, mentions of bad home life, family issues, revisiting childhood home, excessive Bucky adorableness, drinking, dumb decisions on both sides, did I mention angst?

A/N: I just needed to post this. Part five of my entry for @tatortot2701‘s AU challenge. I legit cried writing this; it feels really personal to me. Alcoholic fathers…

Dear Bucky - Is it really over?

Part:  1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Originally posted by buckypupbarnes

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mono-drama24  asked:

What's your opinion on the Jinki nightclub thing? People are talking about disbanding? (Personally, idc because he could've done a lot worst and what he did was harmless, he'll I've done a lot worst and I've beenFAR gone)

okay i’ve been more-or-less trying to avoid this bullshit but ya know what i am!! so done this is gonna be long and ranty DONT MIND ME (this is also so fucking messy okay i’m sorry)

okay so, i’m not going to explain what’s happening to people who don’t know, just look it up.

this whole thing is so stupid honestly. i think all that came out of it was revealing a lot of fake fans and the fact that jinki may want to think a bit more about his drinking habits (simply because he’s a very very well known person and almost CONSTANTLY in the public’s eye).
all that happened was he was shitfaced drunk and this girl was (correct me if i’m wrong) dancing on a table, and he was stumbling around bein drunk and shit and he tripped and because when you’re drunk your eyes don’t work lmao?? he thought her leg was a pole and grabbed onto it for support (only twice). she wasn’t even the one who reported it to the police, it was her boyfriend!! she didn’t know what happened or who did it, her friends had to tell her. and anyways, multiple witness reports (including the girl’s friends, jinki’s friends, and some random bystanders) have said that he obviously fell, and only grabbed her leg for support. he wasn’t sexually harassing her, or much less molesting (or r*ping) her.
once all of this was found out she dropped the charges which means even she thought there was no reason to press charges, because it was obviously an unintentional.
i don’t blame her (or her boyfriend) for this at all!! i think she reacted how most any human would react in a similar situation.
anyway, this whole thing wouldn’t have happened if the media hadn’t gotten ahold of all this and started releasing information before much was known, releasing information before it was actually confirmed, and straight up releasing false information.
also!! even when she dropped the charges, jinki was the one who pressed for a proper investigation!! he even apologized profusely, even though he had not technically done much of anything (he did grab her leg which deserves an apology, but he still didn’t do anything serious)!! this whole situation is so stupid and the fact that people are actually insisting AND MAKING PETITIONS for jinki to leave the group makes me so fucking angry. yes, he should think a bit about his drinking habits but goddamn?? i’ve done worse than he did and i’m not even close to his age. he’s literally a grown ass man who was out with friends (he almost never seems to go out for a drink anymore anyway?? it’s not like this is a regular occurrence).

but i am going to say, that if it was proved he had done it intentionally, and he had actually sexually assaulted her, i would have a very VERY different opinion, but since that is very much so not the case, i am going to tell people to get their heads out of their asses and actually read the reports?? you don’t yet have an opinion unless you know all the (confirmed!!) details.

i love jinki to the moon and back, and that hasn’t changed just because he got blackout drunk and tripped, okay?

oh, baby [draco malfoy]

request: “Could u do Draco x reader with prompts 97 and 103 please? It would be so interesting plus I love your writing. You’re so cool xoxo” -anon

word count: ~3000

a/n: why thank u anon, i AM pretty cool! (kidding im actually SO lame like u dont even know omG) anyway i wrote this at like 3 am and im posting it at 5 am so. i’m a few hours late (like a day actually but who’s counting, NOT ME) but happy bday to the real OG man draco malfoy! now enjoy this hot mess of sleep deprivation, angst, snark, and marina and the diamonds inspiration

97: “i don’t want to have a baby.”

103: “i had to see you again.”

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[Zelo gets tattooed]
Rated: Mature

You sighed heavily turning the page of your book. You’d been bored out of your mind lately. A lack of motivation and inspiration was going to be the death of you. It was like you wanted to tattoo, but you just couldn’t find the right client.

You needed a new muse.

Sleepy walked up the narrow staircase holding a bag of from your favorite street cart. “Hey, I brought ya somethin~”

“Oppa!” you grinned seeing your older brother make his way inside “You can be amazing when you wanna be” you chimed reaching out for the bag. “Gimmie”

“Ah- say please” he held the bag just out of reach.

“Yah, Sleepy-Oppa! Give me my food you tree”

“Alright here” he set the plate of tteokbokki in your hand. “You really should consider eating something other than tteokbokki”

“Give me one good reason why?” you pouted, shoving the skewer in your mouth. “If you’ve already found perfection, why seek anything else?”

He groaned, raking a hand through his hair. “Why are you like this?” He made himself at home, flopping down on the tattoo bench, and resting his arms behind his head. “Where is everybody anyway?”

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Unsurprisingly, I have more elf thoughts

Lots of people ragged on Tolkien on my last post, but Tolkien knew exactly what he was doing. His elves as of Lord of the Rings weren’t staid and serious by nature, but because they were very old in a young world. Further back, in the Silmarillion, they spend literally all their time just messing stuff up and feuding with each other and making Very Bad Choices for the sake of honor or pride or promise. And it’s a disaster. You can’t have that many Chaotic aligned, high maintenance personalities with superior magical power in the same vicinity before things break bad and you end up with events with names like The First Kinslaying. 

It took literal ages before Tolkien’s elves settled down and thinned themselves out enough and figured out how to maybe not wreck havoc and that maybe being boring and living nice, quiet, restrained lives was better for everyone. (Well, relatively nice and quiet and restrained. There’s still the Mirkwood elves.) Galadriel could be beautiful and terrible but she won’t because she knows how that ends. 

My guess would be that D&D elves did much the same thing, spent a while as just a disaster of a species before realizing that wasn’t a great long term plan as the world got more advanced around them, so they basically back-engineered themselves a civilization designed to civilize the wild. Ceremonies, traditions, exercises in patience, anything to bore the impulsivity out of them and impress on young elves the benefits of functioning as a member of society rather than an overdramatic lone operator. It’s better to be thought of as a species of high-minded, long-winded scholars than a bunch of volatile wildcards. Nobody needs tons of centuries old, incredibly magical, unpredictable high strung elves wandering around making trouble. One or two might add some spice to life. Gaggles of them fight and leave a trail of destruction, shiny things, and overdone poetry. 

But sometimes you get isolated individuals, or forest elf communities out on the edges of things who are a little more eccentric, who don’t get the full dose of Boring to tone them down. Sometimes there’s young elves who are raised in unstable situations far from home, or half elves with an elvish temperament but not an elvish enough upbringing. Once in a while an elf just decides they are really tired of leaves and flowers and really want to try lighting everything on fire and starting a blood feud for giggles. Sometimes the instinct to get all folkloric wins out over all the careful training in restraint. 

Taako and Lup had a disjointed childhood, then ran away from home and lived with assorted strangers, they’ve got nothing except their own feelings about how elves should act to run off of, and it’s not like they’re super concerned about acting proper. Sloane ended up as an illegal street racer and thief, which doesn’t suggest she had a super reliable childhood sitch either, it makes sense she might lean into some of that same basic groundwell of elvish instinct. Lydia and Edward clearly had some stuff going on with the death magic and the dead brother and the cult, they’re potential bad breaks in the system also. Jenkins is an outlier, since he seems pretty straight-laced, but maybe he just woke up one morning and really wanted to get his murder and theft on. It happens. 

Basically I do think the TAZ take on elves is a result of individuals from a fairly straitlaced background hearing Galadriel’s whole “…beautiful and terrible as the Morning and Night…” quote and going, “Yeah, sure, that sounds pretty sweet. Well we’re at it I would also like to bedazzle everything, and maybe take some snacks from the nearest 7/11. No laws, no limits, you know?”

Sensory Experience

A/N This was inspired from a TV show that I really like :D Hope everyone enjoys it! 

Warnings: None (no there is no smut ignore the title)

Pairings: Harrison Osterfield x reader 

Word Count: 1, 904


You entered the room. Zendaya and Laura were seated by the table, practicing their lines.

“How was breakfast?” Laura asked, looking at you expectantly. You had gone out for breakfast with Harrison as a date, with Tom tagging along.

“It was…” you searched for a word to describe your experience third wheeling a pair of best friends. “Nice.” You finished, flashing her a rather fake smile. “Yea it wasn’t nice.” Zendaya pointed out. “What’s the issue?”

“Harrison and I… we just started dating and… we’ve been having quite a lot of threesomes lately.” Their eyes widened. “No not the sexual kind… it’s like Tom keeps coming along with us. I’m basically third wheeling two best friends when I’m supposed to be on a date!”

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aknightofagoodking  asked:

"I stabbed my last twelve brothers. Why should you be different?" With Damian and Dick, because once in a while, Baby Brats gets a little too annoyed with his oldest brother's smothering. :)

Thank you for this! I was so excited to write this one,these two are my absolute favorite to write together.

I hope you don’t mind, but since I did this prompt with Damian and Steph already I took a little liberty with the quote, and toned it down to ‘brothers’ instead. It still holds the same feeling. 


Dick found Damian in his room, surrounded by a stack of open books. They boy’s laptop rested on the ground in front of him, Damian’s attention a frown at it. He was so focused on the screen that he didn’t seem to notice Dick’s approach, so like any proper big brother Dick decided to take advantage of the situation.

He went in for a side hug so Damian wouldn’t catch his reflection in the screen, scooping his brother up in a swoop. Damian’s surprise came out in the form of a startled yelp followed by furious pushing against his arms.

“Put me down, Grayson!”

Dick pulled him close. “But I just found you.”

“And you are ruining all my hard work. Stop stepping on my books.”

Damian managed to wiggle his way out of Dick’s grasp, landing roughly back in the same spot he’d been sitting, except one of his feet landed on the pages of an open book and slipped. He lost his balance and fell forward, his descent into his computer stopped by Dick hooking an arm around his waist and hoisting him back into place.

He stepped around Damian’s books, noting that he may have pushed some out of the way, but he had not stepped on them like someone, with a grin. Damian shot him a glare before plopping back down on the ground, his legs crossed and attention back on his computer. He fussed with it as Dick frowned down at him.

His little brother might protest his hugs, but when he hadn’t seen him for a while he usually indulged Dick. Today something seemed a little off.

“What’s so interesting that you don’t have time for me?” he asked as he leaned over to look at Damian’s screen.

Damian snapped the laptop closed. “Nothing.” He grumbled. “You’ve done your duty and said hello. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

Dick straightened and blinked at his brother, what had gotten into him? Had Dick done something wrong? Had he forgotten a promised meeting or call with Damian? Maybe he’d missed a night of patrol they were supposed to work together on?

Whatever he’d done, it was nothing a little hugging couldn’t fix. At least that’s what he hoped. He squatted next to Damian and pushed his shoulder against his brother’s. “Nothing and you have work to do? What’s up, Dami? Did I do something?”

Damian didn’t answer him and Dick nudged his brother again before pulling him into a side hug. Damian ducked under his arm, and spun on him.

“I said I was busy, Grayson. I’ve stabbed my other brothers, what makes you think you should be any different?”

“You haven’t stabbed Cass.” Dick pointed out.

Damian blinked at him. “What does that have to do with it?”

Dick grinned at him. “She’s one of your favorites, so am I. You haven’t stabbed her, and you won’t stab me.”

“Right now, you are nearing Drake’s status.” Damian said before picking up the book he’d slipped on. He smoothed out the crumpled page he’d slipped on and closed it.

“Ouch, Little D. That hurts.” Dick said attempting to sound fake hurt, it was hard when Damian’s words had actually hurt. It wasn’t that he’d been compared to Tim, that had happened before, what hurt was how Damian was brushing him off instead of sharing what was bothering him.

He glanced at the cover of Damian’s book, it was a guide on caring for Great Danes. He cast a brief glance at the other books around them as Damian busied himself with setting aside the book. All the pages around him were filled with health information for dogs. Damian knew all there was to know about taking care of Titus. Dick knew this because the boy would talk his ear off about it when asked. Why then would he have all these books? Dick was sure the computer was pulled up with the same information.

“Damian.” He said, keeping his voice gentle. This probably set his brother’s worry alarms off, but he didn’t care. “Where’s Titus?”

Damian’s whole body went ramrod straight. His jaw clenched, and Dick noted his knuckles had gone white around the edges of the book.  

The boy sat like that for a full minute, unmoving before his bottom lip started to quiver. Dick felt a jolt of panic in his chest for both the dog and his brother. He squashed it as he reasoned that if Titus had died then Damian wouldn’t have dog care books around him.

“Alfred has taken him to the vet.” Damian’s voice was quieter than it had been, not a whisper, but it no longer held the confidence it had earlier.

Dick let himself drop from his crouch to a seat beside his brother. “What did Alfred think was wrong?”

“He believes it’s a cold.” Damian answered.

The worry in Dick’s chest eased further. “Then you don’t have much to be worried about.”

Damian shook his head. “He could be wrong.” Damian lifted the still open book so Dick could see it, and stabbed at a page with his finger. “Titus symptoms could be a host of other things.”

Dick took the book from Damian and set it aside. This was about more than Titus being sick. Damian could handle sick, he’d proved as much whenever Dick himself was sick. He took his brother’s shoulders and turned him to face him. “What’s this really about, kiddo?”

The quiver in Damian’s lip seemed to intensify. “This is my fault.” He said, and Dick felt his heart break a little bit. It was just like Damian to assume the blame for something out of his control. He could follow his brother’s logic like a straight puzzle, Damian was Titus’s owner and responsible for his health, if something were wrong it made sense Damian would blame himself.

“Dami—” Dick broke off as Damian shook his head violently.

“Don’t. I don’t deserve it.” His voice cracked and he pulled away from Dick’s hold, his eyes unable to hold Dick’s.

“It is my fault. I should have cared for him better. If only I had kept a better eye on what he was eating. Where he was going. What his status was.” Damian’s shoulders were shaking now, with what Dick wasn’t sure. It might have been anger, but he was tempted to think the cause was unshed tears.

Dick reached out and tilted his brother’s chin up so he was looking back at him. “This is not your fault.” He said. “Sometimes things happen, Dames. We can’t control everything.”

Damian bit his lip to stop the quivering. “I should have been able to.”

“No. You shouldn’t have. Do you blame yourself when I get sick? Or when Alfred does?”

Damian shook his head and Dick nodded. “Exactly. So why are you blaming yourself for this?”

“He’s mine to care for. Father trusted me with him.”

“And you’ve done an excellent job taking care of him.” Dick told him. “All this worry is proof of it. Bruce would be proud to see all the work you’ve done to make sure Titus is ok when he comes home.”

His brother nodded and took in a deep breath. “You think so?”

Dick smiled at him. “I know so. Now, let me give you a proper hug and we’ll call Alfred for an update.”

He didn’t give Damian time to reconsider or start blaming himself again. He reached forward and tugged his little brother into his arms. There was no hesitation on Damian’s part as he melted into Dick’s hug.

“Thank you, Grayson.” He said into his chest.

“Your welcome, Little D.” Dick smiled. Then after a moment he added. “Does this mean I’m back above Tim on your favorites list?”

Damian snuggled closer to him. “You never dipped below him.”

Marks of a Martial Artist

Before my master passed, he wrote a few books about various topics relative to martial arts.
Among these books was his his student manual. In it he included what to expect of the class, the ranking process, terms, material, testing tips, striking points, and history, in addition to other important subjects to cover about a marital arts class. It truly is a thought-provoking and well-written book.

He also included 17 marks of a martial artist. The martial arts are more than just the physical aspects. The mental aspects and way of life is just as crucial.
Each one is different and holds special purpose and meaning. This has helped guide me, show me what to remain aware of and what to aim for– Especially after everything that has happened to me in my journey.
My master portrayed each of this inside and outside of the class room; I hope this helps others as much as it has helped me. I miss him more than I can handle, but his memory and teachings will remain.

1. Enthusiasm:
A martial artist must be enthusiastic in order to achieve success.
If someone doesn’t like what they are doing, imagine the limit that will put on them. Enthusiasm is crucial in order to be effective and efficient. They put effort, and they are happy to do so.

2. Self-motivation:
Self-motivation is what drives one to go to join, go to class, etc. When someone is self-motivated, they will progress quicker as they are in the optimal state of mind and ready to improve. What is important, however, is that one also recognizes this must be done inside and outside of the class room- practice.

3. Self-discipline:
Some people may be wondering what the difference is. Self-motivation gets one alert and started, and self-discipline keeps one going. The example my master provides exclaims self-motivation is the vehicle by which one will strive to maintain a strong and efficient practice. On the other hand, self-discipline is the fuel to remain. It is the willpower to do what one knows needs to be done.
A student who shows up to class and claims to want it and love it in their life, but does not practice or show persistence, is an example of motivation without discipline.

4. Curiosity:
Curiosity, spirit, interest– A martial artist should ask questions because they are thinking. They are thinking about what they are doing and also thinking about what they are thinking about.
“Why do some people have 10 degree black belts? What can I do to improve accuracy? How did this originate? What is the purpose of this movement?”
They strive to go above and beyond what is simply told to them in class. They aim to study on their own, think about it on their own, ask questions. etc.

5. Conscientiousness:
This is when one is aware and mindful of detail, one’s performance, mentality, emotion, and technique. They must also strive to be aware and mindful of what is around them, whether it is with an opponent or not. Additionally, recognizing one’s efforts and limits is important. Going beyond safe limits will be hazardous. All of this is important for improvement, safety, and health.

6. Humility:
With proper humility, they can learn anywhere, anytime, from anyone. Regardless of rank, a martial artist should know that they are not “above” anyone, and that it is not about being "better" than anyone else– it is about self-improvement. Humility is shown whether one is teaching, being taught, or not. They furthermore have no problem deferring to legitimate, well-meaning authority.

7. Sportsmanship:
With the amount of physical contact, possible competitions, and the like, sportsmanship is a crucial part of martial arts. Martial artists should aim to understand that one never truly “loses” if they learn something from every encounter. Regardless, it is not about winning– it is about self-improvement and learning. Resentment, anger, the need to overrun others, etc., is put at a minimum. 
Additionlly, my master explains with sportsmanship, a give and take scenario can be achieved through respect and with what one can teach each other, whether they are a student or a teacher.

8. Cooperative attitude:
Cooperative, not competitive.
My master states, “With a competitive attitude, we feel the need to be superior to others by beating them, and with a cooperative one, we extend a hand so that everyone rises to their fullest potential.”
It’s not about going in the class room and kicking higher than others, hitting harder than others, etc. That may not only cloud one from their own goals and personal progress, but it will also show in their attitude.

9. Integrity:
Integrity is the alignment of actions with words. If one claims to be humble, then they should show such in their actions, and so on. Our choices, must be aimed to align with living the life of a martial artist. There is also a balance.

10. Tenacity:
Another word for perseverance and determination, my master specifically describes, “Persistent, stubborn, obstinate, not easily pulled asunder… these are all different ways of describing the quality of tenacity.”
They aim to break through difficulties and obstacles, and remain determined and persevere while doing so. Board breaking can symbolize such concept.

11. Goal orientation:
This will provide guidance, like a map, to a martial artist. Both short term and long term goals are relevant. While earning one’s black belt may be a long term goal, there must be short term goals to reach it.
If one doesn’t have the short term goal of improving a basic kick, they will not be ready to perform longer term goals with such a kick: breaking boards, jump kicks, and sparring applications.
Martial artists should strive to obtain a foundation and a layer of hard work.

12. Kindness:
My master states, “No status worth having is ever held with any true dignity absent the mark of kindness. Kindness amplifies all other qualities and synergies them to form something that all other marks could not by themselves reach.”
With such authority, skill, and codes of conduct, and representation, kindness is relevant in martial arts.

13. Fortitude:
Whether it is a test, pain, adversity, or temptation, inside or outside of the class room, physically or mentally, one must strives to remain courageous and strong at these times.

14. Resilience:
There will be aspects like such ^ that will try to bend or shape you. One must  have the ability to bounce back from them.
My master states, “If I transform/change, it is because I needed to, and not because someone or something threatened to reshape or break me.”
They remain whole and are in control.

15. Loyalty:
Like integrity, martial artists should strive to show such through words as well as actions. Loyalty to the school, instructor, and other students– they aim for this because they are returning what is done for them and they know the benefits of martial arts.

16. Appreciation:
My master states, “I realize that I can buy an instructor’s time, but I can never buy knowledge or improvement at any price.”
My master taught me how to live– I can show such gratitude by living the way, going above and beyond, and by aiming for humility and many of these other marks.

17. Compassion:
Martial arts concerns itself with the well-being of people. It provides physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional components– as well as a way to defend and benefit others. Having compassion is like the umbrella of martial arts.

Overall, my master made it important to note a martial artist should put forth effort and realistic improvement (inside and outside of the classroom)within these marks, and that one does not have to be perfect.
AWAS. All rights reserved August 2012.

My master states in his other book in a dedication to me:
“If you look for the parallels, you will find that the classroom is a microcosm that represents situations in our outer lives as well. Sparring allows others to challenge us to a higher level of development with friendship and respect – this lesson could serve you well in whatever profession you choose and even in your home life. When we break boards we learn the satisfaction and the possibility of smashing through obstacles that seem to block our way - you’ll need that lesson throughout life. When we perform and refine our forms, we practice a sort of moving meditation that allows us to find stillness in the midst of motion, and to center ourselves within ourselves for our best performance, regardless of what is going on around us - you’ll need that lesson in a very busy world which sometimes threatens to unbalance us with its commotion, activity, and drama.”
-Kwan Jang Nim Chad Boxx, June, 2013

nekonotaishou  asked:

There is a TV program here in the US called "Rocky Mountain Vet" and it's about this vet clinic in Colorado called Planned Pethood Plus, that, among other things, is known for it's reduced costs and for offering payment plans. The intro to the show states that they staff "a battle-hardened staff of 30", and I have seen them do things such as take in a surrendered animal that an owner could not afford to treat, treat it, and get it adopted out. Your analysis of the article about the shelter (cont

(cont) that closed down due to not enough funding makes me curious as to how this clinic, and its side branches in other parts of the world (they have a branch in Mexico, apparently) keep operating. They do seem to have A LOT of clients, so might that be it? The head vet is often saying that he wants to help the less well off enjoy the benefits of pet ownership, though  that goes against the philosophy that if you cannot afford a pet you should not have it. What do you think of this?

Sorry for the late reply, but I wanted to wait until I had enough time to provide a proper response.

The clinic I was discussing, which is facing closure, is here.

Now, I can’t tell you how Planned Pethood Plus operates, because it’s on the other side of the world from me, but I can tell you how successful charity practices local to me operate, broadly speaking, so you can compare and contrast.

The Lort Smith Animal Hospital is my best example. They are a charity clinic and animal shelter that operates with 60+ vets, has multiple wards and recently expanded its hours of operation to be able to provide 24 hour care. It has its foibles, all workplaces do, but the clinic consistently goes from strength to strength.

The Lort Smith operates as a veterinary business first, and charity second. It has many years of practice melding the two, but it pays its staff, it takes care of them and if you took the shelter side and charity away, it would still stand strong on its own.

Part of this is because the Lort Smith has not engaged in a ‘race to the bottom’ in terms of pricing. (Their fees are listed here, online). Their pricing is pretty average for Melbourne (their standard consults are actually dearer than my workplace, but emergency is cheaper), but their discounts and payment plan options are where they become more affordable for those in genuine financial hardship. Those that do not need the discount pay full price and support the good work that the clinic does, while there is more wiggle room to work with cases that do need more payment flexibility. (Most charitable donations go to the shelter side.)

But they do get paid. If an animal has an owner, they don’t do much for free. They will utilize discounts and payment plans to make the care as affordable as possible, and they’re a large enough hospital to be able to do this effectively, but they will get paid eventually. They’re generally not giving services away.

What they will not do, for financial and ethical reasons, is accept a surrender of an animal that needs lots of treatment, fix it up as a stray, and adopt it back to the original owners. This is because it’s an ethical minefield, but sometimes the decision will be made not to treat, and to euthanise instead, which is exactly the nightmare you might expect it to be.

So with this model they can both run their shelter, and their vet clinic, to great success because they’re not giving away services for free, or universally discounting their services across the board, and they can afford to pay all their staff well. They provide high quality veterinary medicine too, with a steadily increasing range of services able to be offered.

There is a smaller shelter near me which also has a vet clinic, but it does not follow this model. It provides basic veterinary services at a reduced cost to everyone, regardless of any proof of need requirements. It’s always busy, but it’s unable to adequately manage medical or surgical cases that require little more than vaccines and desexing. Anything that even wiffs of being difficult gets referred elsewhere, usually to us.

To use a metaphor, their veterinary engine is running on the smell of an oily rag. It’s organised primarily be ‘animal loving volunteers’ and not by veterinarians.

The most frustrating things about this model to me are:

  • Seeing people with very nice cars and expensive purebreed dogs use the shelter vet because they are ‘cheap’ and claiming their patronage supports the shelter, which it does not do.
  • It (actively) encourages the general public to see other clinic’s fees as ‘exorbitant’ when they are really reasonable, which devalues veterinary services across the board.

As for your last question, which I will re-quote to prevent scrolling up:

The head vet is often saying that he wants to help the less well off enjoy the benefits of pet ownership, though  that goes against the philosophy that if you cannot afford a pet you should not have it. What do you think of this? 

There are lots of situations where pet owners could afford treatment, just not this week/paycycle and having discounts and payment plans available helps these people out in their current situation. This is how the Lort Smith is able to help so many people.

I think if you are budgeting for a pet, you would ideally be budgeting with typical and average prices and keeping charities as your backup plan, not intending to use charity services all the time as your first option. It’s perfectly fine to shop around, but I would not recommend jumping straight into a safety net as your first plan. There is a greater risk in under-budgeting that over-budgeting anyway.

There’s certainly a lot to talk about, but my guess would be that large charity clinics which are able to grow and expand operate on something more like the Lort Smith model.

A Brutal Subtext Behind 2CT

(Disclaimer: I’ve been feeling a bit more bloodthirsty because this arc has felt like a plastic plot line in a tin can. There’s such a lack of character depth/plot movement that I’m going stir crazy. We’ve literally dropped important characters in favor of a two dimensional villain and caricatures of who Ciel and Sebastian used to be. Yana has produced some quality work, complete with subplot tie-ins and *proper* character deconstruction but this arc feels like she isn’t even trying. But, moving on…

One of my favorite explanations of the 2CT theory stems from a post made by @dorkshadows (post here), where instead of having two loving brothers you have a fraternal relationship filled with anger, loathing, and jealousy on our!Ciel’s part. I don’t doubt their childhood had happy moments but I picture their dynamic to be more like Thor and Loki than say, Robb Stark and Jon Snow. Underneath all the affection and time spent together, I have no doubt that our!Ciel secretly despised his brother’s venerated position as the future heir to everything—the family name, company, lands, titles. Think about it, real!Ciel was the firstborn—the heir—and was probably the focus of everyone’s attention. Firstborn males are the most important family members—even more so than the patriarch. (To get an idea of how dismissive the Victorians were of second born sons, Consuelo Vanderbilt, wife to the 9th duke of Marlborough, nicknamed her sons “the heir and the spare.”)

To our!Ciel it must have been ten years of agonized longing—of silently seething and watching his brother get everything he’s ever wanted—that finally bubbled over during their time in captivity. When our!Ciel realized he finally had the chance to steal everything from real!Ciel, our!Ciel willingly sacrificed his brother to the cultists—even though he probably didn’t know a demon would appear as the result. This makes the entire situation all the more menacing—our!Ciel let the cultists take and kill his own brother without knowing a demon might appear. He let them take his twin out of pure, undiluted spite. It’s his way of saying “sure you were the heir to everything, sure you had mother, father, and Aunt Ann’s attention but now you don’t. There’s no one here but me—I’m finally in control and I get to see you perish first.”

It’s almost as if our!Ciel is Richard III—he certainly plays the part well enough. If we substitute real!Ciel for the princes in the tower (Edward V of England and his younger brother, Richard), then we get a dark parallel that’s made even more haunting by the fact that our!Ciel didn’t just end his brother life—he stole it right out from under him. And that relationship is the kind I want to see.

Something dark and sinister, full of vice, retribution, and the desire for revenge on both sides. (Cliched survivor’s guilt? No thanks. I’d take murderer’s guilt any day.*) We know our!Ciel is selfish—heck, he even admits it outright—but I want to see to what extent. How far will he go to protect his ill gotten gains? How many people will he kill/sacrifice/offer up just to achieve his own ends? (And I believe there’s a difference between Ciel burning a mansion full of lobotomized children he didn’t know and a potential confrontation with the twin who once had everything.)

Furthermore, how will real!Ciel react to all this? If he’s been brought back to life by Undertaker, he’s probably filled with betrayal, anger, confusion, and a desperate, unyielding desire to seek revenge—just like our!Ciel.

But this is real!Ciel. The happy, confident, extroverted heir—the one who was always meant to inherit everything. How will those three years—first in death, then in the Undertaker’s workshop, then at the Sphere Music Hall, and now, finally, brought back to life—how did it change him? If real!Ciel had always been the more charming, commanding “natural leader” of the two, then I don’t doubt he’ll use all his gravitas and strength to try and take our!Ciel down. But this lingering question remains—how far will he go? We know our!Ciel always had a survival instinct—something he’s probably honed since childhood (as mentioned by dorkshadows)—but real!Ciel never needed it.

He was the heir—he was going to get everything anyway. He never needed to be sly, duplicitous, cunning, or malicious. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have these traits—there is the very definite possibility that real!Ciel is more Machiavellian than our!Ciel—he just never acted on it. He never needed to. Our!Ciel blindsided real!Ciel by offering him up to the cultists and if real!Ciel’s actually back, then the playing field’s even (with real!Ciel having the dual advantage of surprise and three years of plotting). It’d be a violent, grotesque finale I don’t want to miss.

*To me, our!Ciel is like the thief who’s not the least bit sorry he stole but he’s awfully, awfully sorry he’s going to jail. (And yes, this is a quote from Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With The Wind.)

Note: I know a lot of 2CT theorists are going to hate on this post for being too dark/dramatic/implausible but this is Kuroshitsuji. The manga whose very premise began with a cult torturing and defiling a ten year old boy in order to summon a demon from hell. The story’s bound to get darker as it moves towards the end. And, from what I’ve seen, Yana seems to despise cliches—she does everything in her power to subvert expectations so to put in a cliched “I dost loved my brother, I did!” seems like a pale imitation of shock—the true driving force would be to explore just how dark our!Ciel’s mindset was when he sacrificed his brother and how dark their reunion is going to be. As always, discussion is welcomed but please refrain from using derogatory terms, unsubstantiated arguments, and unnecessary online cruelty. Thank you.

The king was shaded beneath a crimson canopy, one leg thrown negligently over the carved wooden arm of his chair. Princess Myrcella and Prince Tommen sat behind him. In the back of the royal box, Sandor Clegane stood at guard, his hands resting on his swordbelt. The white cloak of the Kingsguard was draped over his broad shoulders and fastened with a jeweled brooch, the snowy cloth looking somehow unnatural against his brown roughspun tunic and studded leather jerkin. “Lady Sansa,” the Hound announced curtly when he saw her. His voice was as rough as the sound of a saw on wood. The burn scars on his face and throat made one side of his mouth twitch when he spoke.

ACOK, Sansa I

Wait, wait, wait…  a jeweled brooch and snowy white cloak on a guy that never wears ornamentation except for his Hounds helm!?!  He absolutely disdains pageantry and displays of material wealth as much as knighthood itself.  This is a pretty large departure from his usual self.  He’s likely doing more than just announcing her presence because his mouth is twitching, his signature tell he’s thinking something he isn’t saying.  That just screams “look at me” and "notice me.”  Well, mission accomplished, because she does give him her attention, except she notes those details mostly as being out of character.  Sandor’s acceptance of the white cloak now seems to be more about impressing Sansa, rather just resigning himself to the fact he doesn’t have any wife or lands and thus nothing better to do.              

He was there when Barristan Selmy was “retired” from the KG and let his cloak fall to the floor.  Sansa knelt on that cloak and begged for mercy for her father.  That image connecting her to the exemplary reputation of Barristan, a living legend of a knight must have stuck with him.  Then he is later presented with the opportunity to replace Barristan, which he’s seen as someone Sansa holds in high regard.  He still wants to distance himself though from the other kingsguard by choosing wool instead of silk and satin cloaks and he doesn’t wear the white armor, but there’s still that snappy jeweled brooch!  This is how he wants Sansa to see him and deep down how he wants to see himself. 

Looking back on his bragging of saving Sansa in the riot to Arya, acting like a true knight for her was probably his proudest moment.  It’s why he was kinda salty about her being late to thank him and why he re-wrote history of her singing the song then to culminate the fantasy.   If the story had followed the formula in Sandor’s head, it would have gone like:  save the fair maiden < she’s grateful to her hero < perfect opportunity to win her heart < he’s rewarded with more intimacy with her.  Life is not a song, of course.  Sandor is now set up to have his own struggles with the white cloak just the same as Jaime and Barristan…

Keep reading

All or Nothing (Reader x James Potter)

Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauders era)

Pairing: Reader x James Potter

Warnings: ANGST but also cute ending yay

Request: may i request an angsty james potter imagine with a happy ending? the plot is totally up to you. if not that’s ok. thank you!! x

Anon you are so polite how could I say no :)

Word Count: 2.2k

When word got around that you were dating James Potter most people were happy it finally happened, very few were against it, or so you thought.

The most embarrassing moment of your life took place the following morning in the great hall while eating breakfast. You were surprised when you got mail as you hadn’t been expecting it, you were sat beside your boyfriend James and your other friends all around you.

When you saw the letter you failed to notice it was howler, you opened it and your mothers shrill voice, dripping with anger started saying the most awful things, you tuned out most of it but some of what you made out went along the lines of “MISS Y/N L/N, how dare you disgrace the family name by associating with a potter, I am appalled you would not consult me first” your mothers cold tone continued “You are to write to me at once explaining yourself and rid yourself of that worthless boy”. Your cheeks were burning red from embarrassment as James just stared at the letter closing it and putting it away for you, Sirius glared at every single person staring at your group until not one pair of eyes remained.

James tried his best to comfort you but you knew exactly what was about to happen, you would lose him, you didn’t even understand how your mother found out so soon, you hoped you would have some time to tell her yourself.

You grabbed the letter and crumpled it in your hands, tears streaming down your face as you tried to apologize to James

“I’m so sorry for my mother, I’m sorry for my whole family, I can’t believe she would do that.”

James just pulled your tear stained face against his chest, his calm heart beat instantly calming you as well.

“Y/N, I like you for you, not for your family, I don’t care what they think of me as long as you will be with me.”


That night after forgetting about the earlier events and joking around with the marauders all day you finally sat at your desk and started writing to your mother, pleading with her and saying how amazing James truly was, you sealed the letter and sent it to her using one of your roommates owl’s anxiously awaiting the response.

By the time you got to breakfast your mother had sent a new letter, thankfully this one was not a howler, you opened it up and started to read it, you couldn’t believe what you were reading and the tears came once again. James patiently waited for you to tell him what it said, but Peter was not so patient.

“what does it say Y/N?”

You looked up at them, wiped your tears from your face as James rubbed small circles into your back and said.

“I will leave out the cruel words and insults but basically she said that she doesn’t like the Potter family, although pure blood they are all Gryffindor’s and not a proper wizard family, you know the usual, she has ordered me not to continue seeing James or I won’t be welcomed back home and she will know if I do because she knows people in the castle.” You paused awaiting their reactions, peter ignored the first part and questioned.

“Who does she know in the castle?” Remus brushed his question aside and said.

“not important peter, what else does it say Y/N?”

You continued reading over the letter

“it gets worse if you can believe that, I will quote her exact words”

you found the part of the letter you were talking about and read.

“I Know breakups can be hard but I have made the arrangements with a proper wizarding family and set you up with one of their sons.”

The group was wide eyed as they listened to you talk

“As you know Mrs. Black and I are good friends, and we have agreed that it would be beneficial for the both of you if you dated Sirius instead, this is and order Y/N, please do not disgrace the family name further and take this wonderful opportunity I have laid out for you to redeem yourself.”

Sirius looked as though he had seen a ghost and James was speechless, the other two marauders were visibly uncomfortable with the whole situation until Sirius broke the tension.

“What are we gonna do” the word choice made James instantly mad.

“WE aren’t going to do anything, me and Y/N will handle this without you Padfoot.”

Sirius put his hands up in defense and he pointed to his un opened letter from his mother on the table

“Hey I didn’t ask for any of this , it is the first I’ve heard of it as well, I didn’t want to be brought into this.”

James was fuming with anger and you felt so conflicted until Remus carefully added himself to the argument

“I have an idea, if you want to hear it”

he paused and he took your small nod as a sign to carry on talking

“Well, this worked out well if you think about it we got lucky, she could have been set up with the Malfoy boy or even Regulus, we have the advantage of Sirius both being your best friend and obviously not wanting to date Y/N” everyone listened to Remus intently, you had a small smile on your face as you knew where Remus was going with this.

“All we have to do, I mean you have to do is make people think Y/N is with Sirius, I mean she is always with all of us anyways and you have the same room, you just have to cut out the PDA and make Sirius and Y/N hold hands and stuff like that so people believe it.”

Peter spoke up “If we knew who your mother knew in the castle it would make this a bit easier.”

You spent the rest of breakfast and the entire day making this plan and thinking of everyone in the castle your mother could know.

The next few weeks were filled with awkwardly holding Sirius’ hand between classes when you wanted to be holding James and sitting in between the two of them at meals, always leaning towards Sirius a bit more.

Acting like you were with Sirius was hard but your mother had sent you another letter thanking you which obviously meant she was buying the whole plan.

This went on for about two months until you started drifting away from James, the constant hiding and sneaking around was one thing but him having to watch you do everything he wanted to do with you happen between you and his best friend of all people was starting to get to him.

You were lying in James bed waiting for him to get back to his room as he walked in the door seeing you on the bed “Oh it’s you” he didn’t seem very happy to see you.

“James what’s wrong?”

He was obviously agitated his words laced with spite

“oh nothing I just expected to see you in Sirius’ bed”

You were taken aback by his words and hurt

“James don’t be like that, you know I love you, and I don’t love the circumstances we are in but it’s better than nothing.”

James was staying on the other side of the room moving things around as to not look at you

“is it really Y/N?” 

The words he spoke and the hate that filled the room made a tear fall from your eyes but you quickly wiped it away.

“Don’t say that James”

He quickly turned around and looked into your eyes before he spoke again.

“I want all of you, all of this or none of it and if you can’t give me that, if you can’t be with me all of the time then I don’t want to be with you.”

The tears were uncontrollable now, they steamed down your red cheeks as you used your sleeve to desperately wipe them away.

“James you don’t mean that please don’t say that.”

He just opened the door and stood there for a moment thinking before he decided.

“No Y/N I can’t do this anymore, I won’t do this anymore, I’m done, now please get out” you quickly rushed out of the room bumping into Sirius as you left, he stopped and looked down at you, concern written all over his face

“Y/N Hun what’s wrong”

you didn’t even answer him you just rushed to your room and stayed there for three days before you finally decided to go to class, you ignored the marauders as a whole and hated every time someone asked if you and Sirius had broken up, you wanted nothing more than to scream at them and admit that you were never dating in the first place.

Your mother wrote you a short and cold letter regarding what she must have heard, it simply stated

“Y/N don’t ruin a good thing, this arrangement between you and Sirius is not over, you don’t have my permission to end this relationship, me and Mrs. Black have already started talking about arranged marriage, don’t ruin this for us, and don’t eat too many sweets like you do when your sad it goes straight to your hips.”

You crumpled the letter and cried even more than before.

Not only were you dumped by your real boyfriend but you would have to continue to date your fake boyfriend and constantly be around James at the same time, you knew this would make getting over him so much harder.

The first couple days James didn’t even come around, it was just you Sirius and Remus, they tried to say James and Peter were doing an assignment but they knew you didn’t believe them.

You had to admit it was comforting having Sirius to hold you, even though it wasn’t real, you could almost pretend it was James, which you knew was so wrong and made everything so much worse.

Today you were sat in the great hall, Sirius had his arm draped over your shoulders as you leaned into his touch your hand resting on his thigh as Remus sat across you rambling on about your planned trip to Hogsmead this weekend.

That’s when you saw James walk into the great hall laughing about something with peter, it was like he forgot you would be there for a minute until your eyes locked, he stopped walking and Peters smile on his face faded as he looked between his two friend’s sad faces. James turned to walk out until peter stopped him by grabbing his arm. Peter said

“James, it’s obvious you both love each other, stop ignoring each other just go run up to her and kiss her in front of everyone, screw her mom and her family, she’s not happy living there any ways, Just do it Prongs!” That was all James needed to hear, he didn’t want to be selfish but hearing the words come from Peter put things into a better perspective, it was true you and Sirius both hated your families and there was plenty of room at the potter residence or the both of you stay in.

With the sudden boost of confidence, he walked at a fast pace towards you, you distanced yourself from Sirius once James first walked in because it reminded you that is wasn’t James sat beside you at all.

You stood up thinking James was coming to yell at you, James suddenly grabbed your face, placing his hands on your cheeks as he pulled your face towards his kissing you with so much desperation and need, it was rough but you missed his kiss so much you forgot you were standing in front of your entire school who frankly looked in shock.

You ran your fingers through his always messy hair your noses bumping as you pulled away pink faced with bright smiles on your faces. You didn’t feel the need to explain yourself to the students all staring at you rested your forehead against his. He finally spoke

“Y/N I’m so selfish, but I want you, I want all of you” you just bit your lip and replied. “I’m all yours Prongs.”


Once summer came around and you got off the train waving good bye to Remus and Peter you walked hand in hand with James, with Sirius on your other side. You were going to spend the summer with a real family which was a first for you and Sirius who had both been basically rejected by your families after the fake relationship stunt.

You were happy for summer break for the first time in a long time , James was ecstatic to have two of his favorite people stay with him and you could tell by the gleam in Sirius’ eyes he was excited too.

anonymous asked:

why do you hate skyrim so much, anyway?

To be honest, I don’t… “hate” Skyrim, per-say? Hate’s too strong a word for any game for me, and even then Skyrim isn’t necessarily a terrible game despite how much I dislike it.

Which probably sounds weird, but that’s just me; most games that I dislike aren’t just plain old bad games. I don’t have an emotional dislike of, say, Bubsy, or Superman 64, or so on. They’re shit games, but there’s nothing particularly redeemable about them. They might have had potential, but it’s more conceptual, rather than being very flawed games with some good ideas (like Gates to Infinity, or Super Mystery Dungeon to a lesser extent).

Anyway, to get back to the question, the reason I don’t like Skyrim is because it feels creatively bankrupt.

Keep reading

Falling, Ch 1: Physician’s Advice

Summary: Bones x Reader. Bones has been unbearably moody for a couple of days and you are sent to try and find out why.

Word Count: 2500

Warnings: Swearing, mild parental angst

A/N: This started as a ‘five times…’ idea for a Bones and Reader developing relationship, but got a bit longer than I intended. So this is part 1 of 6. I have not written for a long time, and this is my first reader insert. Be gentle!

“That man is impossible!” Christine Chapel declared as she stalked out of the CMO’s office and the door swooshed shut behind her. “Stubborn as a damned mule and twice as ornery! I swear I am this close to inflicting some kind of untraceable bodily harm on him!” Christine leaned in towards you gesturing with her thumb and forefinger a mere half inch apart.

“Untraceable except for the fact that you just told the whole medbay. I think, technically, that counts as pre-meditation.” You pulled a chair out at the nurse’s station and encouraged Christine to sit down. “What did he do now?”

“There’s a whole damn list, but the cherry on the fucking top was him telling Nurse Edouwu he is, and I quote, ‘a damned incompetent jackass who couldn’t tell a protoplaser from a petri dish’ and then yelling at me to ‘get my goddamn nurses under proper supervision before they fucking kill someone!’ I am the best damned nurse in the Fleet, and I did not sign up to put up with his shit.” The Head Nurse slammed her padd down on the desk with enough force to make you wince.

Doctor McCoy had a reputation for being a hard taskmaster, and for general grumpiness, but his behaviour over the last couple of days had been out of character even for him. His usual serious demeanour was now downright murderous. Nothing was done fast enough, or to his impossibly high standards. Nurse Edouwu was not the first of the medbay staff to feel his wrath, and everyone had been treading on eggshells waiting for the next explosion.

If any further proof of how bad things were was needed, it was sitting slumped over the station in front of you. Christine Chapel, normally a beacon of competence and serenity, bringing order to chaos, and hitherto a McCoy-wrangler extraordinaire had used the f-word. Twice. You perched on the desk next to her, eyeing her with concern.

“This is way beyond the boss’s usual grousing,” you observed. “The crew know it too. Ensign Matthews, you know, the big guy from security, practically begged me to fix him up without calling the doctor. He single-handedly took down four Sindarian rebels on that away mission last month, and he was terrified of McCoy. Did you ask what’s got his tricorder in a tangle?” Christine snorted.

“Didn’t exactly get the chance. He was too busy tearing me a new one.” This was bad. Chapel and McCoy were usually a well oiled machine. The nurse looked up at you speculatively, “You know, maybe you should try talking to him.”

“I value my current state of existence too much,” you laughed.

“I’m not joking Y/N,” Chapel sighed running her hands through her usually immaculate blonde bob. “I’m at the end of my tether - contemplating criminal actions, remember? The Captain’s not back for another two days or I’d be begging him instead. You seem to have a way of getting patients to open up to you, and so far you’re practically the only nurse to have avoided being in the eye of the shitstorm. You must be doing something right.”

“I have an uncanny ability to know when to duck and cover,” you deadpanned.

“Yeah. Well think about it, please! I’m going on my break, can you at least hold the fort here? Maybe the urge to stab his annoying ass with a hypo of sonambutril will have dissipated by the time I get back.”

“Sure thing Chris.” Chapel hauled herself out of her chair and beat a hasty retreat, leaving you alone at the nurse’s station. The rest of Alpha shift seemed sensibly to have found things to occupy themselves in the lab or the stores.

Getting up from your perch you crossed medbay to listen at McCoy’s office door. There was no discernible sound from within the lair of the dragon; perhaps having dispatched his most recent prey his anger was sated for the time being. Christine was right though, the current situation was untenable and something needed to be said. As one of the newest medical staff you weren’t quite sure you merited her confidence, McCoy had hardly discussed anything other than work with you barring the most fleeting mentions of family or shipwide gossip. He didn’t give much away. But you knew you were good at your job and he would have no reason to find fault with you for talking to him.

Except for calling out your superior officer for being an asshole. You tried to tune out the annoying voice in your head, there was nothing wrong with offering a sympathetic ear. Nobody was going to be calling anyone out, despite the level of assholery reaching Defcon 1.

In the spirit of peace and reconciliation, you decided that a gesture of goodwill was probably necessary and replicated up the biggest strongest black coffee possible in McCoy’s favourite ‘My Daddy is the best space doctor’ mug. It had clearly been personalised by a much younger Joanna, who had painted a little stick man with a blue shirt, a shock of brown hair and a disproportionately large stethoscope, and signed it with a handprint. It had always amused you that the stick McCoy wasn’t wearing any pants.

Summoning up your courage you knocked on the doctor’s office door and waited to be admitted to the belly of the beast. Something was barked from within and you took it as a sign to enter.

McCoy was sat behind his desk, elbows resting on the glass top and head in his hands. He was surrounded by piles of padds, interspersed with empty coffee mugs. A plate with a half eaten and unidentifiable sandwich teetered precariously on the edge of the surface. He appeared to be studying one padd in front of him with particular intensity.

“Dammit Chapel what do you want now? I said my decision was final, and what part of do not interrupt me do you not understand?” the doctor snapped without looking up.

“Um, sorry sir but Chapel went on her break after your…er…meeting. It’s nearly the start of Beta shift and I thought maybe you could use a coffee?” You hung back in the open doorway so as not to appear threatening, and offered the mug out to McCoy.

At the sound of your unexpected voice, he looked up. He had clearly been brooding about something. Frown lines seemed etched across his forehead and his normally precisely parted hair was sticking up in all directions. He looked surprisingly like stick McCoy. Except with pants.

He regarded you suspiciously for a moment. You were glad he couldn’t tell you were thinking about him sitting behind his desk with no pants on. “Either come in or go away Y/L/N. Stop loitering in the door,” he bit out. “Did Chapel send you in as her damn spy?” You fought the urge to turn around and leave him to stew.

“No. I was trying to be nice. It’s a somewhat underrated quality.” You arched your eyebrow at McCoy, approaching his desk to set the mug down. He sniffed at it and grunted something that you chose to interpret as thanks. “Besides, I think Christine is way beyond spying. You would do better to ask if she’d poisoned your coffee.”

He scowled, jabbing a finger in your direction. “I don’t need niceness, I’m too damn busy doing my job to worry about treading on a few toes. And I don’t need to be lectured by one of my junior nursing staff. I simply expect all of you to do your damned jobs too. If anyone has difficulty with that concept, they can get the hell out of my medbay! Is that a problem Nurse Y/L/N?”

McCoy sat back in his chair and watched you as you digested his words, an unreadable expression on your face. Was being left the hell alone to contemplate his own inadequacies too much to ask? To his surprise you pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down with a sigh.

“Well, if you don’t need niceness, I won’t sugar coat this Doctor McCoy. No, I don’t have a problem with doing my job or being expected to do it to a high standard, that’s only fair. And, even if you have a questionable bedside manner and are terrible at being diplomatic, you’re a good doctor and usually fair. But, scaring patients, expecting the impossible from staff and making them cry when they don’t achieve it, bellowing unreasonable orders? Whatever is going on with you, frankly, right now you’re just behaving like an ass. Sir,” you added as an afterthought. So much for not calling him out. You might as well have lobbed a pulse grenade into his office.

McCoy was staring, speechless, eyebrows raised at an impossible angle. Hell, he’d been surprised anyone had the nerve to interrupt him for anything less than a breakout of Teenaxian plague. But for you, the newest member of his staff, to swan in with your coffee and your sass and coolly point out the deficiencies in his conduct like he was some misbehaving toddler, well, he just couldn’t find the words. Any words. Finding himself in this unfamiliar position he emitted an indecipherable growling sound and picked up the cup of coffee.

Taking a long sip, he tried to buy some time to formulate a response. He should write you up for insubordination. But dammit if his conscience wasn’t sitting pretty as you please in a pristine nurse’s uniform just over the desk. One corner of his mouth twitched in a fleeting half smile at the absurdity of it. You had a point. It was not that McCoy was completely oblivious to the effects of his black mood, but he was worried and distracted and he hadn’t been able to bring himself to care. Now he felt like twice the failure.

The thick silence between you drew on and you fidgeted uneasily in your chair. As he scrutinised you McCoy’s expression had shifted from shock, through something you couldn’t place and finally settled into a frown. He glared at the mug in his hands.

“Have you ever had your heart broken Y/L/N?”

Well that was not the response you had expected. “Uh… I guess so. I mean yeah?” Shit. Had he been dumped? How the hell were you supposed to counsel your superior officer about his love life? “Is that what all this is about…sir?” Your voice squeaked a little and you felt your cheeks heat.

The Doctor’s eyes flicked up and met yours in confusion. “What?” His face flamed as he realised the conclusion you had drawn, “Hell, no! I’m not mooning over some damn woman!”

You should have realised that. From what you had seen, McCoy never seemed to be away from the medbay for long enough to pursue any kind of romantic attachment, and on the occasions you had crossed paths in the rec rooms he was invariably with the Captain and Commander Spock.

McCoy regarded you, trying to decide whether to continue with this mortifying conversation. Eventually he sighed, shutting himself in his office hadn’t helped. He indicated to the padd in front of him, pushing it in your direction.

“It’s Joanna. She sent me a message two days ago to tell me she broke up with her first boyfriend. I’ve spent the last two days trying to work out what the hell to write back to make it better. My baby girl is hurting and I’m halfway across the damn galaxy. I can’t do a damn thing. I’m goddamn useless Y/F/N.”

You glanced over the comm from Joanna. The poor kid was heartbroken. It appeared that the boy in question had moved on to one of the popular girls at school and had told Joanna she was too weird for being obsessed with science. The boy was clearly an immature little jerk, but his actions had obviously knocked her confidence. McCoy had picked up the mug and was staring at it again.

“Jo made me this the first Christmas after the divorce. She was so excited to see me and so proud of her present.” He placed his hand over the much smaller painted handprint. “Now it seems like five minutes have passed, she’s all grown up and I missed it Y/F/N, I missed everything important and now I don’t know what she needs. Her mother is right, I’m a damn pathetic excuse for a father.” His voice was gruff with emotion.

Running his hands through his hair and grasping the back of his neck, McCoy slumped back in his chair. Embarrassed, he avoided your gaze, his tired hazel eyes steadfastly regarding his lap. For some reason he didn’t want to see the look of disappointment as you realised he was an abject failure.

“Doctor…” He braced himself for another dose of your honesty. “I… I’m not a parent, so maybe I’m not the best person to give you advice… but I just think maybe Joanna just needs to know that you think she is perfect the way she is. If I could, I’d tell her it really sucks right now, and it’s going to take a little patience, but there’s someone out there who thinks that female scientists rock.”

“If I was dirtside, this would be simple. I’d kick his ass into next Sunday,” McCoy grumbled.

“What, you mean you’d be the scary, overprotective father? No way, I’d never have guessed,” you laughed. “I guess it doesn’t hurt to tell her you think the kid is a dumbass too.”

“Think she’ll believe me if I tell her all boys are dumbasses and she should ignore them until she’s twenty five?” He pulled the padd back towards him, “But seriously, You really think that’s all she needs?”

“Its a start.” You shrugged. “You know, I wish someone had told me that I was perfect when I was her age. It took me a long time to understand that I didn’t have to be anyone but myself, and that if someone really loved me they would accept me and all my many faults.” You smiled wryly at McCoy and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly in return.

“I guess I have a message to write then.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” You got to your feet and started picking up the dirty crockery from the desk. McCoy reached out and stopped your hand with his. He looked up at you seriously.

“I really fucked up the past couple of days, didn’t I?”

“Yup.” He winced. While you understood now why he had been unbearable, it still didn’t make it right.

“Chapel is never going to forgive me, is she?”

“Im not going to lie, sir, it’s pretty bad. She said fuck. Twice.” McCoy groaned. “I don’t think it’s irretrievable, but it’s going to take some grovelling. You could start by doing all the overdue paperwork.” You gestured to the piles of padds.

“It seems I haven’t been doing either the CMO thing or the parenting thing very well lately,” he said regretfully. You squeezed his hand.

“If it helps, I don’t know many teenage girls who would want to talk to their daddy about this kind of stuff. It must be hard, being so far away, but I reckon you must be doing something right. And the other stuff… Your team respect you, usually. We’d cut you some slack if you’d let us.”

McCoy nodded, unable for the second time that day to speak. And if you noticed that his eyes were a little teary, well he was exhausted dammit. He watched you pick up the last of the mugs, and wondered just how you had managed to make him forget his insecurities. Even if it was just for a little while, he felt lighter, as though he was capable of dealing with whatever the universe threw at him next.

You moved to open the door. “I’ll see you’re not disturbed unless there’s an outbreak of Teenaxian plague, Doctor.”

Backlit by the harsh light of medbay, it appeared to McCoy that you gave out an aura of light. Somehow the illusion made him feel like he was really seeing you for the first time and he found himself holding a breath.


“Y/F/N?” You looked back at him from the doorway, a small smile playing on your lips. Something swooped in his stomach.

“Darlin’ any guy who didn’t tell you you were perfect the way you are, he’s a dumbass.”

Blessings (Jefferson x Reader)


Prompt 11- “Stay the night. Please.”

Words: 1,420 

“Still working?” You had let yourself into Thomas’ house and now sat on his bed which separated his study and the parlor.

“Yes, I fixing details on a new plan to propose to Washington tomorrow.” He was ruffling around with papers and hadn’t looked up at you. When he did, however, a huge grin spread across my face. “Though the sight of you in my bed makes me think I should take a break.” He walked over to you and kissed your hand.

“Sir. We talked about this. I’ve been given to another.” You avoided his gaze. 

“I know, and I said i would try didn’t I?” He gave you a meaningful look. 

“Maybe I should go…” You got up from his bed. 

“No stay please.” he grabbed your arm lightly. You looked down, and realized what he was doing and pulled it away. “I just have a few things to finish up and then we can do something together. okay?” His eyes were pleading with you. You sighed and agreed. He nodded and went back to his desk. Almost instantly you could hear the distinct sound of a quill scratching against paper.

You wandered over his bookshelves and started looking at the many different titles. You let your hand wander across the spines of several of them. You glanced at Thomas. He was hunched over his desk in a position you knew would ruin his back if he stayed that way too long. Loose curls fell all around his face, and his brows were furrowed in intense concentration. You smiled at the familiar scene.

You picked out a few books, read some lines, and decided that you weren’t in the mood for them. You prided yourself on your intelligence, and Thomas always said he admired a woman who wasn’t afraid to say she’s knows more than a man. You finally decided on Night Thoughts by Edward Young and settled in the large armchair next to a window in his study. You brought your legs up onto the chair and sat in a rather improper, but comfortable position. The book was splayed in your lap and you began to read the though provoking quotes. 

Soon you found yourself gazing out the window. It was late afternoon and the sun was shining directly through the window onto your skin.  The warmth felt so good. You felt Thomas’ gaze on you and turned to see him staring. He quickly looked away and started working again. You sighed. This situation was horrible. You knew how Thomas felt about you, though he never expressly said so because he never got the chance. You and Thomas had grown very close, and your sure that he had been about to ask permission to court you, when your father told you had found a wealthy husband and that you were to marry him in two months time. You were completely dismayed but nothing matched Thomas’ face when you told him. That was when your heart really broke, but you knew that you had to do this. This man has money and status. That’s what your family needs. 

So does Thomas. A voice in your head said. Thomas has immense wealth, and he’s Secretary of State for God’s sake. 

You shook the thought from your head. It was a done deal. Arrangements had already been made. The rational part of you told you stop coming to Thomas’s estate like this, as though nothing had changed, but the emotional part of you couldn’t keep your feet from walking out the door. 

“Edward Young?” Thomas had stood up. His desk was no longer in disarray. You nodded at him. He kneeled down by your chair so he was just below eye level with you.  “One of my favorites. ‘How blessings brighten as they take their flight.’” You recognized the quote. You also recognized the deep meaning it had for both of you at that moment. His eyes were so intense as they looked up at you. You had to stop this before you got carried away. 

“’A man of pleasure is a man of pains’” You quoted back. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Such intelligence to match such beauty.” he said quietly, but you still heard it, not sure if you were meant to. His eyes were so bright in the waning light, and it killed you inside. 

You are engaged to another. You reminded yourself.

You glanced out the window. The sky was orange at the horizon and it was turning a deep blue higher in the sky. 

“I should really go.” You only just realized how late it was. 

“Must you? I feel like you’ve only just arrived, my dear.” Thomas was at his desk again, putting papers in his briefcase. 

“I know Mr. Jefferson, but I can’t be caught at another man’s house this late. Even if his intentions are pure.” You rose from the chair and put the book back in it;s rightful spot. 

“Are my intentions pure though, Y/N?” You turned around quickly, shocked not only by his sudden use of your first name but also what his words implied. He wasn’t looking at you. He stared down at his desk, both hands clenched in fists and leaning against it. 

“I- what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You know I hate it when you dis credit yourself.” He finally looked out you. there was pain in his eyes. You kept your mouth shut, but stared at him. “I think my feelings for you have been made rather clear. I could not be outright with them because of how much it would complicate things, but I am beginning to care less and less about being proper and formal.” He ran two hands through his hair frustratedly. “Y/N, my feelings run deeper ever day. I did not view you a friend or as a woman I was almost with.” He stared pointedly at you. “I view you as the woman I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with. I can’t deny that anymore.” 

You had never seen Thomas so raw with emotion. You had seen him angry before, but it was always covered with snide remarks and confident smirks. You had seem him upset, but that side of him dissipated quickly. You were at a loss for words. He sighed and sat on the edge of his band with his head in his hands. 

You were very conscious of the various house aides that could walk by at any moment, but you cautiously walked over to him. 

“Thomas,” you placed a hand on his shoulder gently. He looked up at you desperately. 

“I love you.” he whispered like he was just fully realizing it for the first time. 

“Thomas, please don’t do this.” Your voice wavered. You could hardly stand to look at him.

“Y/N. Don’t marry him. You don’t deserve that. You deserve to marry for love.” He stood and placed a hand on either side of your face. You kept your eyes at his chest, refusing to look up at him. “Look at me, Y/N. Please just look at me.” You rarely heard his voice so quiet and caring. He lifted your face and you looked in his eyes. “I know you feel the same way. This doesn’t make any sense. You know how wrong it is. You know how right this is.” He took both your hands in his. 

“Thomas I-” Before you had the chance to tell him that it was impossible, he’d seized your lips with his. His brow was furrow like this kiss was causing him physical pain. You couldn’t help yourself any longer. You closed your eyes and tentatively leaned into the kiss. Your hand made it’s way to his face. You felt water fall on your cheeks, but you weren’t sure if it was your tears or his anymore. 

He pulled away after a moment, and you let out a small sob. 

“I need to leave.” You turned away from him quickly, but he managed to catch your arm anyway. 

“Y/N. I’m begging you. Just listen to what I have to say.” He paused, but you refused to speak. Tears were openly flowing down your cheeks. “Stay the night. Please.” 

All the things he said came flooding to you at once, as did all your happy memories together. You knew the time you had left with Thomas was limited. You turned back at him. He looked so desperate. You bit your lip. This was going to ruin your life. 


anonymous asked:

When you said you can see what ed are trying to achieve with the current sl, what do you think that is?

ok so i’m going to do my best not to have this turn into a massive essay, but i have Thoughts anon and u asked for them. i’m going to leave aside the issues i have with this sl (there are a lot, tbf) and just talk about what i believe it’s trying to achieve at its very core.

ok, so aaron and robert dived back into their relationship without having had addressed a lot of their major issues, right? like, don’t get me wrong, their reunion was amazing, and i had a proper little cry at those scenes in my tiny lil bedroom in belgium (on the night i moved in and didn’t even have a duvet so it was emotional) and i think those reunion scenes are gorgeous, but they did go back into their relationship without having had addressed their many issues, and the effect of that started to show when rebecca turned up (because, she’s not necessarily a character in her own right when you look at this sl, her entire characterisation seems to be focused on aaron and robert, more or less. like, we’ve had no scenes about her dealing with this pregnancy when aaron and robert weren’t around, so it just #confirms that she was brought in solely to bring their issues to the fore.)

you see it begin in november, right? with robert being all flirty with rebecca to get his own way, and aaron being insecure about roberts past with rebecca, and it continues until it hits boiling point in january. aaron’s insecurities are at the heart of why he did what he did to kasim, and that episode feels like its their breaking point, until its not. they plaster over the cracks and they keep going, and its not a good thing for their relationship. 

so i think this storyline is forcing both aaron and robert to face up to their individual issues, and the issues that affect them as a unit. i don’t remember the exact quote, but didn’t danny say something about them facing up to the consequences of their actions in an interview? that’s what a lot of this sl is.

  • so, aaron has long since talked with his fists, not his words. he’s a character with a canonically violent past and he’s got a temper, and it’s never really been fully addressed until he is sent down for punching kasim. aaron is forced to face the consequences of years of ignoring his own mental health issues because he’s sent down for a year - a year without robert, his family, his friends. thats the ultimate consequence for him, and we see him go through hell in prison (undeservedly so, really, because how can aaron help what he’s been through.) anyways, aaron’s prison sentence is the consequence of his temper and the way he tends to bottle things up and not talk about it or address his problems.
  • then we have robert. robert is a character who’s long established in canon as a cheat, and a liar, and we’ve seen him try and change for the better over the past year or so, but his underlying tendency to flirt his way to what he wants is still there, and it makes aaron insecure, because aaron knows what robert is like. and, to quote robert’s own words, he hurts other people when he’s hurting, so when he’s angry, he decides to do what he does best and flirt someone into bed (something that has never had major consequence for him really, because despite losing chrissie, he did end up with aaron after the affair.) rebecca’s pregnancy is, for robert, the ultimate consequence of the way he lashes out, by cheating and manipulating. it’s turned out to be a situation he cannot cheat and manipulate his way out of - it’s something he’s going to have to deal with head on.

so this sl is bringing up their major individual issues and forcing them to address things neither of them have ever wanted to, but its also forcing them to communicate with each other. aaron and robert are bad at communicating. like, they tried in january, but in the end, they just ignored the root of their problems and kept carrying on as they were before, but now they’ve both faced these terrifying consequences of their actions, they’re forced to communicate in a way they never have done before. i think we saw that on thursday, when robert admitted his own guilt and told aaron what happened without being forced into it, and we saw it when aaron sat robert down and said he had questions he needed to ask.

baby aside, this storyline is all about the things that aaron and robert have never addressed in their relationship (the affair, robert’s history of infidelity, aaron’s temper, aarons mental health issues, his insecurities about robert and their relationship, roberts sexuality) and it’s forced them all to the forefront of their relationship when they’ve consistently been in the background of it, going unaddressed.

in my mind at least, this storyline is making them address the issues that are always going to stop them from being fully happy together. like i said, i’ve got issues with pacing and execution etc, but at its heart, i genuinely think thats what this storyline is, and what its trying to achieve. 

i hope that made sense!!

anonymous asked:

(1) I want your opinion on something: do you think that the people who like rika excuse her for what she did to v? And is it because she's a female character? From my pov, it's hard to see it considering that v has a LOT of fans and rika has a LOT of people who want to rip her head off, not to mention that people who either disliked v or liked rika didn't really get a nice treatment from the fandom(a friend of mine was bullied)-

-(2) and with the amount of experience that me (and possibly others) got from many fandoms, if v was the villain, I can assure that he would still garner sympathy and would even be jokingly called daddy. I definitely won’t see him as daddy material but I’ll obviously like him as a villain. Right now? He looks more of a bella swan to me. My theory? It’s cause it’s a romance genre with a male dominated cast directed towards a female audience.

First thing I’d like to say: I do not wish to see hate of any sort under this post. Feel free to state your opinions, no matter what they are, as long as they’re still opinions. I’m not anti V and I will not tolerate hateful behavior towards ANY of the characters.

I think a good starter will be a quote of an ask I saw today on someone’s blog. I will not comment the answer not reveal the blog’s address as I’d rather avoid any kind of discourse with them. Let me just place this ask here:

“I feel like Rika’s fanclub has doubled in size since the new route was released so I’m glad there are still people like you who still have some fucking common sense.”

Yes. Rika’s fans are undoubtfully treated badly in this fandom. No matter if it’s about liking Rika or justifying her actions, surely the amount of hate they get is toxic and overwhelming. It has nothing to do with an exchange of opinions anymore. It’s buillying in it’s clearest form.

I participate in Rika Positivity server on Discord, and it’s probably the best resource in this topic. So, let me say that: I haven’t seen a single person who’d say what Rika did was good. Despite what some people try to push into our mouths, we do realize what she’s done – to V and to Saeran – was bad.

But you can’t just say the blame is all on her, and let me explain, why.

There’s so called human act, an Ethics term. There’s a difference between human action and human act and here’s a quite good explanatory I found (click on the text for the link to the page):

Human action or human act should be investigated because it is being considered that not all human actions are considered as human act. It is confusing but it is being determined that the act that was committed must be done knowingly and willfully by any individual before we can declare that he/she is accountable for it. In short, an act committed without the knowledge and consent should not be considered as a human act.

According to the study, only human acts can be judged as they’re the things we’re responsible for and not everything we do is a human act. 

There are various obstacles of human acts, and mental illnesses are one of them. But not only. Lack of knowledge, addictions, accidents, even being, let’s say, sleepy on a particular day – these are things that can naturally make you less responsible for the things you do. (Keep in mind the blame usually can’t be pushed onto anyone else this way; there are things that just don’t depend on us)

Now, returning to V’s and Rika’s case.

Of course it’s only natural to try to get a treatment if you’re aware of your state, but I’ve heard an opinion stating that Rika’s completely at fault for being crazy, as she didn’t get the proper treatment even though V told her to. 

So, let me quote a dialogue from SE01, from one of their memories (beginning of 3rd episode):

V: How was therapy? It’s been three weeks already.

Rika: I’m going because you wanted me to… but I don’t know if my state is treatable. The more I talk to the therapist, the more I see the vicious sides of me. I’m so scared…

V: Rika… I’m sure things will get better if you keep talking to her.

Rika: No, I don’t want to go anymore. The therapist just tells me to find peace and overcome my wounds… but the darkness inside of me… can’t be healed that easily. I’m used to being depressed and feeling empty. If I just relax for even a second, my real self… my anxiety will just all come out.


V: Just let go… and you’ll feel better.

Rika: I don’t know how to let go. Right now… I want to destroy myself. Don’t you get it?

V: Rika, look at me. You can if you look into my eyes. No matter how you are, I won’t leave you. So don’t worry… and just find peace. It will be better. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll save you…

Rika: You’ll save me?

V: I love you. If you want, I’ll save you.


V: You can test me until you believe me. Even if you strangle my neck, blind my eyes, and destroy my limbs… I love you. I am your sun.


V: I love you… If my absolute love can save you, if that’s what you want, that’s what we can do. Rika… So that even I’m the one who hurts you… choose to be mine. I will become a dominating and unfair person for you. 


V: I will be the person you need. (…) You are… already in me.

I showed three important points here. About Rika’s general state, her relationship with V and the way it influenced her.

Rika trusts V. She tries to get a treatment because he told her to. But it’s not helping her. Of course, three weeks is not a long time. Surely not enough to see actual effects. But Rika is already in despair; she doesn’t see any good sides in her situation. She even hurts herself at this point and believes it’s the right thing to do. She’s not a person who’s able to decide on her own anymore. But she trusts V more than anything, and, as this person in despair, decides to listen to him. 

Have a look at the important part of this conversation: Rika says she’s scared of ‘relaxing’, as it’d cause her bad side come out. But what V tells her to do is to ‘let go’, as he decides to take this all upon himself. He believes he can deal with whatever happens after.

V tells Rika he’s going to save her. He’s the one who says he’ll become her “sun”. He generally lets her know she doesn’t neet a treatment because he’s enough to deal with it all by himself. And she believes him.

And THIS is the exact moment when it all starts.

I don’t think Rika should be blamed for what she did to V, at least, not to the degree she is blamed for it now.

I will use another example here; a lot of people justify Jumin’s famous bad ending saying that MC was tempting him and generally telling him to treat her like a cat. I personally don’t agree with this excuse, but we have a similar situation here: the difference is that Rika and V are together for a bit LONGER than these… two days of ‘relationship’ (that’s why I don’t think Jumin’s behaviour can be justified, but it’s a completely different matter). And - as we know - Rika is already unstable all this time.

So it’s really hard to say that Rika’s guilty for everything she’s done to V: because, first, the reason why her ‘bad side’ came out is because V told her to ‘let it go’ as he assumed he’d pull it off somehow, and second, he literally tells her to do all these things to him, later on not regretting his choice and still keeping on his opinion that it’s al-fucking-right.

Rika’s state worsens drastically through the whole plot. In V’s route we still have some sight of her original personality; she doesn’t really mean to harm RFA, the way she’s talking to them using the chat is - in my opinion - sincere (of course it can be discussed, but that’s just how I was seeing this). We can’t forget that she really did care for the others, and a good proof is her reaction to Ray’s death on 10th day. She literally breaks down into tears. No matter if the whole cult was strongly related to her way of trying to ‘prove’ herself, it doesn’t mean she didn’t care about these people; even when she realizes it’s over for her, she wants them to escape so that the ‘bad world’ wouldn’t reach them. 

In Secret Endings though, her state is so bad she cannot be considered sane anymore. The way she treated Chois is completely different from how she acted in V’s route, which is really meaningful. While playing only Secret Endings, it wasn’t that clear, it may have seemed that she was that bad all along. But Another Story shows the contrast between how she acted in the past, how she acts now, and how she acts in the Secret Endings, and that’s a very important piece of information more of people forget to acknowledge.

And, why people hate Rika so much?

You mentioned it twice, the fact that Rika is a girl and that V is a man which does make a difference. Yes, Mystic Messneger is a romance game ‘destined’ to women, mainly straight women. The plot shows is pretty clearly that women are treated ‘worse’ as they’re potential rivals to MC. Jaehee is a character who’s totally friendzoned, and all the female side characters (except for V’s mother) are mean vipers, in general: Echo Girl, Glam Choi, Sarah. All the female side characters end up as antagonists, unlike, for example, Vanderwood (friendly reminder: he’s a MALE) who gets a way better personality, while these three are… actually quite similar in their reasoning and behaviour, nothing to really focus on.

And eventually, just as a definite majority of MM fans are straight women, the result is that it’s way easier for them to despise other women than men.

Another thing is, a lot of people decides to dislike Rika even before we get any actual info about her behavior, as I suppose, because of how RFA is focused on her from the beginning. Rika is a very important character and just as important RFA member. From the very first day we’re flooded with the mentions of her and especially Yoosung’s behaviour (in and out of his route) obviously doesn’t make us like her more. It’s also one of the rare situations when an important (even though undateable, at least untill 2 months ago) character is in such a close relationship he hasn’t gotten over yet. Rika is the only person that can be considered a rival to MC. In these circumstances it’s really easy to focus only on the reasons to despise her.

This work exactly the opposite way for V. His personality is more soft from the beginning, he gives us that needs-to-be-protected attitude and so, we’re more eager to find excuses for his behaviour even if we see him making mistakes.

To summarize it all, I’d like to say one thing.

Both V and Rika are very well created characters. They have good sides and bad sides. They do good things and bad things, less or more wittingly. But just as I believe Rika deserves more understanding from this fandom, I believe V’s mistakes should be acknowledged AND eventually forgiven.

I think the main problem was Cheritz’ way of presenting the ending of V’s route. I suppose they did it to please the fandom, and the thing they did is - let me say that - a little OOC (I should rot in hell for this statement). I believe in normal circumstances V wouldn’t want to completely cut Rika off like he’s done in his route, but after acknowledging what he unwittingly leaded to, he’d sincerely want to fix it one way or another, as even though he didn’t love her, he did care for her, which is obvious after that many years of a relationship.

Because neither V or Rika are bad people. What they’ve done is a result of either lack of knowledge or their mental state which partly or completely make their actions less of a ‘human act’. And even though their relationship became toxic, they chose each other out of their real feelings, and not a purpose to hurt anyone.