it rhymes with freak

PART 1/?

 [ i put my spotify on shuffle & wrote down lyrics from random songs so there’s not really any rhyme or reason to this list.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ]

  • “ all I have is all that is gone. “
  • “ everything around me feels so much different than where i’m from. “
  • “ what a shame we all became such fragile, broken things. “
  • “ oh, darling i wish you were here. “
  • “ a year from now, we’ll all be gone. “
  • “ when she says she loves you, tell her you love her too. “
  • “ my baby’s sweet as can be. “
  • “ she gives me toothaches just from kissing me. ”
  • “ heaven and hell were words to me. “
  • “ i’m not gonna go home alone. “
  • “ you and me are the difference between real love and the love on tv. “
  • “ i’ll take the truth at any cost. “
  • “ you should know thing’s aren’t always what they seem. “
  • “ we’ll pretend it’s alright and sin for the night. “
  • “ i can’t see with all the weight of the world on my shoulders. “
  • “ i see nobody but you. “
  • “ i’m so used to being used. “
  • “ i love when you call unexpected. “
  • “ maybe we could stick around for just one more drink. “
  • “ we’re broken people. “
  • “ you were my conscience. “
  • “ don’t you ever wonder how we’d survive? “
  • “ i’m only human. “
  • “ i’m not the villain, despite what you’re always preaching. “
  • “ i’ve got this friend… “
  • “ i don’t think you know him/her. “
  • “ all that he/she really wants is someone to love him/her back. “
  • “ you’ve seen them all come and go. “
  • “ every little thing i do never seems enough for you. “
  • “ where do we go from here? “
  • “ i don’t bite but i heard you might. “
  • “ it feels good to be alone with you. “
  • “ i never wanted to say this… “
  • “ you never wanted to stay. “
  • “ but we always made it work. “
  • “ making love to you was never second best. “
  • “ there’s nothing you and i won’t do. “
  • “ i’m sorry if i seem uninterested. “
  • “ no, i’m not listening. “
  • “ tell me it’s nothing. “
  • “ i can’t help falling out of love with you. “
  • “ why am i feeling so guilty? “
  • “ i’m worried about everyone but me. “
  • “ and i just keep losing myself. “
  • “ seasons change but people don’t. “
  • “ don’t pretend you’ll ever forget about me. “
  • “ wouldn’t you rather be a widow than a divorcee? “
  • “ we don’t fight fair. “
  • “ you won’t remember this. “
  • “ this is how it feels to take a fall. “
  • “ don’t go breaking my heart. “
  • “ i couldn’t if i tried. “
  • “ you take the weight off of me. “
  • “ nobody knows it. “
  • “ i’m a goner. “
  • “ i want to scream ‘I LOVE YOU’ from the top of my lungs. “
  • “ i am finding out that–maybe–i was wrong. “
  • “ stay with me. “
  • “ this is what i need. “
  • “ you’re still a mystery. “
  • “ i thought i wanted to forget my past. “
  • “ you shine brighter than anyone does. “
  • “ i’m a little overwhelmed. “
  • “ this is nothing like i planned. “
  • “ i’m a little bit confused. “
  • “ can’t seem to tell what’s real or not. “
  • “ i won’t change for you. “
  • “ i won’t cry for you. “
  • “ we both know that you don’t really care. “

I just wanted to make a little post about Reek (theon)’s body language at the time of his torture/torment because it’s really deep and it shows how psychologically damaged he really was so here is a little list of things I’ve noticed

.First off, his eyes/head. He almost never makes eye contact with whoever is speaking to him unless forced to do so (via hair grabbing or chin lifting by Ramsay) His eyes and head always seem to be darting around too in mostly fear and paranoia. His eyes are almost never still for longer than a few moments. 

Originally posted by queen-medb

. The way he speaks is always in mutters or short clips (unless it’s a case in which he needs to act like Theon). He seems to not prefer long sentences and when he speaks he seems to be on the verge of breaking down into crying/yelling. When talking to Sansa he spoke vaguely and got very upset when she asked him questions he wasn’t allowed to answer. Whenever Ramsay talks to him, he always seems to avoid speaking to perhaps avoid saying things he’ll regret. And when he does talk in longer sentences, you get the crying voice I was talking about before (or just crying he does that a lot)

. the way he walks seems to be very pained mostly because of his injuries and soreness from the cross. Even when his foot was healed he seemed to shuffle with insecurity

.This one is minor but he seems to breathe in a weird “verge of crying” sort of way (sorry for my choice of words), very choked up. He also groans a lot, which is a VERY minor detail but when he’s not talking he’s always making some sort of pathetic noise.

.The last and the most sad one is the way he flinches/backs away whenever someone makes an attempt to touch him or does touch him. It really shows the effects of his abuse and how truly paranoid he is


Sorry this was so rushed and poorly said, please feel free to add your own examples!

So like I love the Addams Family Musical and will defend it to my grave but something I never understood and probably never will is why all the sudden they live in Central Park???? Why???? I’m pretty sure they didn’t live in the middle of Central Park in the other adaptations… in fact were they even in New York??? Most of the jokes rely on them having neighbors they can’t have neighbors if they’re in the middle of a goddamned park! Was it because it rhymed with “remark” and “dark”? I’m pretty sure more thing rhyme with “remark” and “dark” than freaking “Central Park”??? It just complicates things so much when it doesn’t need to?? WHY DO THEY ALL OF THE SUDDEN LIVE IN CENTRAL FUCKING PARK?

so I DMed a little one-shot for my brother Josh (he’s 11) he was a true neutral halfling ranger named Genji with a dire fox (totally made that up he wanted to ride his fox so I made it as big as a wolf) companion named Hops omg it was so much fun some highlights….

his character got hired by a wizard named Benji to lead him safely through the forest to find some magic thing (yes their names rhyme and it was freaking hilarious cause I named the npc before he named his character) 

right after he accepted the job he goes “but if you die I’m taking all of your gold” 

his character systematically would chop off the heads of all his enemies and kept them on a chain he carried with him (starting to think he’s actually neutral evil at this point lol)

the interaction between Benji and his character was freaking hilarious cause honestly he didn’t give a shit and was doing the absolute bare minimum of “protecting” this wizard (though he did use cure wounds on Benji the one time he fell unconscious but at that point he needed Benji to find the entrance to the temple where supposed treasure was)

him and Benji at one point both rolled nat 20s for stealth right after each other

sneaking up on a goblin camp he rolled a nat 20 trying to hit one of the goblins with his bow he completely obliterated it and he described very gruesomely as he pinned the goblin’s head to a tree with his arrow (of course he collected the head afterwards by the end he had the head of a bear (which he got pre-game), a wolf, a goblin, and a skeleton skull) 

Sansa & Theon parallels

DANCING (and how their new persona cannot dance)

Sansa loved to dance, but Alayne…

The Prince of Winterfell had been a graceful dancer, but Reek with his missing toes would be grotesque

SILKS AND VELVETS

“Brother, surely you are mistaken. Your place is at Winterfell.” Her smile cut. “And where are all your pretty clothes? I heard you fancied silk and velvet against your skin.” 

Soft-spoken sweet-smelling Sansa, who loved silks, songs, chivalry and tall gallant knights with handsome faces.

HANDSOME/BEAUTIFUL (both according to popular opinion, but more specifically by Jeyne Poole)

“I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome.”

“I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty.” 

FORCED TO ADOPT ANOTHER NAME

Reek, Reek, my name is Reek. He had not been born with that name. In another life he had been someone else, but here and now, his name was Reek. He remembered.

“You are Alayne, and you must be Alayne all the time.” [Littlefinger] put two fingers on her left breast. “Even here. In your heart. Can you do that? Can you be my daughter in your heart?” 

ADAPT TO SURVIVE

He can make me look at the heads, she told herself, but he can’t make me see them.

I must not let him drive me mad. He can take my fingers and my toes, he can put out my eyes and slive my ears off, but he cannot take my wits unless I let him.

and…

He’ll have you up there no matter what, so give him what he wants. She forced herself to take King Joffrey’s hand.
 
A cold knife scraped along his spine. Be careful, he told himself, be very, very careful. He did not like his lordship’s smile, the way his eyes were shining, the spittle glistening at the corner of his mouth. He had seen such signs before. You are no prince. You’ re Reek, just Reek, it rhymes with freak. Give him the answer that he wants. 

ALMOST MURDER THEIR ABUSERS

All it would take was a shove, she told herself. He was standing right there, right there, smirking at her with those fat wormlips. You could do it, she told herself. You could. Do it right now. It wouldn’t even matter if she went over with him. It wouldn’t matter at all. 

Theon drew the dagger. All I need do is turn and stab him. The knife is in my hand. He knew the game by then. Another trap, he told himself, remembering Kyra with her keys. He wants me to try to kill him. And when I fail, he’ll flay the skin from the hand I used to hold the blade.

CRUSHED WEDDING FANTASY

He remembered a time when he had thought that Lord Eddard Stark might marry him to Sansa, and claim him for a son, but that had only been a child’s fancy.

No one will ever marry me for love. But lying came easy to her now.

CRUSHED HOPES

In the songs, the hero always saved the maiden from the monster’s castle, but life was not a song.

Life is not a song, sweetling. Someday you may learn that to your sorrow.

And:  There are no heroes here, only whores //  There are no heroes…in life, the monsters win

COMPARED TO BIRDS (yes)

“You’re like one of those birds from the Summer Isles, aren’t you? A pretty little talking bird, repeating all the pretty little words they taught you to recite”

“You have forgotten more than you know. And you are a great fool if you believe your lord father will ever hand these holy islands over to a Stark. Now be silent. The ride is long enough without your magpie chatterings.”

Mantras and Obsessions in A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons

“Kill the boy and let the man be born”
-Jon Snow (Aemon originally)

“Wherever whores go.”
-Tyrion (Tywin originally)

“She’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know.”
-Jaime (Tyrion originally)

“I’m looking for my sister, a highborn maid of three-and-ten with blue eyes and auburn hair.”
-Brienne

“Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.”
-Cersei (Maggy the Frog originally)

“Old instinct made him reach for his chest, where once he’d kept his fingerbones in a little sack on a leather thong. There was nothing there. He had lost his luck in the fires of the Blackwater, when he’d lost his ship and sons.”
-Davos

“Reek, Reek, it rhymes with freak/meek/weak/leek/bleak/squeak/leak/sneak/wreak/peek/shriek.”
-Theon/Reek

“Ser Gregor, Dunsen, Raff the Sweetling. Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, Queen Cersei.”
-Arya

“If I look back, I am lost.”
-Daenerys

“Hodor.”
-Hodor

Bethans favourites

people-

2)  squid       Alfie Allen

“Theon is misjudged hes confused he wants to be honourable like the starks but at the same time he wants to prove to the Greyjoys that he is one of them as well”

“reek reek it rymes with freak it rhymes with weak ..and ..i forgot the rest?”

“i dont think he( Theon) is evil there is a human side to him and i do relate to him a bit”
“good old robb he wouldnt be very proud of me would he? well maybe a  little bit”

“he (peter Dinklage- Tyrion) was my inspiration in the first series he made it look so effortless  i think that affected the way i did things in series two”

so why do you think he (kit Harington) is such a good actor?”

“he got all his acting tips from me.”

(pre season 3 interview)  “you havent read the books?”

“ive read the first three?”

oh. youve no idea whats coming”

“well no i dont really people say this to me theyre `have you read it’ and im like `no i havent  i dont know ‘and they just go `dude come here’ and put their arm around me”

“It really was demoralizing at times. It was hard. It was really, really hard. There’s a scene later on where I basically just fucking broke down. I remember Iwan, on the day, didn’t really know if he should continue or if he should just stop, because I was really really, really breaking down. That’s one scene I’m definitely excited to see.”

“The actor who plays Ramsay (Iwan Rheon) is a very strong actor and Alfie is his equal match.They have such chemistry you really feel it. When they just look at one another – or if they don’t – you go “oof!” You feel it. It goes right into the core.” Game of Thrones director Alik Sakharov 

“I was so proud of Alfie and how fantastic he is in every moment” gemma whelan  (yara greyjoy)

“he really gives it 100% every time its great to work with actors like that i was really lucky. i loved working with him” Iwan Rheon (ramasy bolton)

“hes a great actor and a great friend  we’ve never had a proper scene together but id love to do one with him” kit harington (jon snow)

“Alfie Allen is a genius” Daniel Portman (podrick payne)

“i don’t know if anyone other than Alfie Allen could handle the role that he has and go through what he goes through” Pedro Pascal ( oberyn martell)

“ every time im more inspired by him. every single scene he does blows my mind hes so underappreciated so many people underestimate alfie and dont give him the recognition he deserves” sophie turner (sansa stark)

The Signs As Nicki Minaj Features:

Aries     - Beyoncé: ***Flawless (remix) 

Taurus     - Big Sean: Dance A$$ 

Gemini     - French Montana: Freaks 

Cancer     - Chris Brown: Love More 

Leo     - Busta Rhymes: #TwerkIt 

Virgo     - Diddy: Hello Good Morning

Libra     - Ludacris: My Chick Bad 

Scorpio     - Justin Bieber: Beauty And A Beat 

Sagittarius     - Kanye West: Monster 

Capricorn     - Ciara: I’m Out 

Aquarius     - Nelly: Get Like Me 

Pisces     - Jessie J: Bang Bang 

Hit the “◄” to watch the video!

2

pic-perf-world said to animateglee:

I wondered if you could do a drawing/doodle of Klaine on a plane (hehe, that rhymes ˘) with Blaine all freaking out because he never flew before and Kurt comforting him and telling him it will be alright?

‘You okay, sweetheart?’

'What- yeah SURE I am. Totally. Why?’

'You look a little pale.’

'It’s the flying. I’m a little nervous…’

'Aww you… It’s gonna be fine. And if it’s not I could take your mind off it with something. Maybe something in the bathroom… so little space in there, sooo many ideas in my head…’ said Kurt, not-so-subtly massaging Blaine’s thigh. 'How do you feel now?’

'Equally scared and turned on.’

'That’s progress.’

Guys.

Sometimes I just sit there and think about how BAD Theon is at not being himself. You know…To the point that he can’t remember to refer to himself as Reek without making it rhyme with…Literally anything from “leek” to “freak”

Or that he can’t consistently remember to say “m’lord” and not “my lord”

even have prolonged periods of torture…He still…Can’t…Consistently do it.

I think that’s a really admirable quality. I’m serious.

It’s actually the root of his problem with the Starks and the Greyjoys. He can’t pretend well enough to imitate either group and assimilate. He’s stuck being exactly who he is.

A++ Theon Greyjoy. 

Desecting Theon's a Dance With Dragons Arc: Theon Regains His identity

Throughout a dance with dragons we get to read the slow process of Theon rebuilding himself.

Ramsay is convinced that he’s fully broken Theon but he is wrong! He got close, very very close… but a sliver of Theon remained and that sliver was enjoy for Theon to shed his Reek persona and rebuild himself again.

The chapter titles are important because they represent the role Theon is taking on at that moment (generally he is forced to take on that role because Roose or Ramsay need him to). Theon’s always made himself into the person others wanted him to be (cause that person was useful to them) and he does so too in this case. Which is what ultimately gives him the ability to regain his own personality, and become himself for the first time.

Reek I

In his first Reek chapter, he appears to be fully transformed (and maybe he was) he allows himself only one thought about who he used to be “in another life he had been someone else but here and now his name was Reek. He remembered”

But who theon is doesn’t just depend on his name or what he thinks of himself, it also depends on his actions, behavior and general attitude.

One of his main traits is how he laughs/smiles when he is scared in order to convinced himself he has no reason to be scared, the situation is not so serious and to show to others that theon greyjoy is not afraid of anything.

It is such a distinct characteristic that when Ramsay points out he is (or used to be) Theon Greyjoy, his guest mentions his smiling:

“The crookback lord looked again and gave a sudden snort. “Him? Can it be? Stark’s ward. Smiling, always smiling.”

  “He smiles less often now,” Lord Ramsay confessed. “I may have broken some of his pretty white teeth.” “

The most symbolic of how broken Theon is, is the fact that he doesn’t smile anymore. Theon smiled because he was scared, Ramsay took that away from him. He probably tried that tactic with him for a while as well, but now he is too scared even to smile. He’s lost his one defense mechanism to hide his fear.

However broken Theon is, he still thinks of escaping. When big and little Walder enter his cell to bring him to Ramsay, Theon thinks he could take them on but is quick to remember how he tried to escape before with Kyra and how that had all been a cruel trick from Ramsay. The main reason Theon doesn’t go through with the escape is because he’s scared this is another trick to test his loyalty. Ramsay’s found a way to control Theon but he’s wrong to assume he has entirely broken him. in this first chapter his defiant thought is more of a reaction to the immediate danger of him being brought to Ramsay but it’s a defiant thought non the less, Theon is still in there somewhere.

Reek II

As we delve into the next chapter Reek is forced to “pretend” to be ironborn again. He helps Ramsay to take Moat Cailin back from the ironborn holding it by negotiating with them, and convincing them to surrender.

““I am ironborn,” Reek answered, lying. The boy he’d been before had been ironborn, true enough, but Reek had come into this world in the dungeons of the Dreadfort. “Look at my face. I am Lord Balon’s son. Your prince.” He would have said the name, but somehow the words caught in his throat. Reek, I’m Reek, it rhymes with squeak.”

He is deliberately separating Reek from Theon, he doesn’t think he is ironborn, he is lying when he says that because Reek and Theon are not the same person. And even thinking about who he used to be hurts so much that he can’t physically get himself to say the name and has to remind himself once again that he is Reek.

Throughout the chapter he is constantly reminded of events that occurred “before he knew his name” and every time he insists on referring to his former self in the third person, reminding himself that this person is not him.

““What horse? I never had no horse.”

  I did. The memory came back in a rush. Smiler’s screams had sounded almost human. His mane afire, he had reared up on his hind legs, blind with pain, lashing out with his hooves. No, no. Not mine, he was not mine, Reek never had a horse”

When he arrives back at the Dreadfort to deliver the Iron born to Ramsay, completing his task successfully, he allows himself one quick moment of feeling like his former self again. At that moment he had pleased Ramsay, he didn’t have to be so afraid for once and Reek lost control only for a second until fear took over again.

““I thought there would be more. We came at them three times, and three times they threw us back.”

  We are ironborn, he thought, with a sudden flash of pride, and for half a heartbeat he was a prince again, Lord Balon’s son, the blood of Pyke. Even thinking was dangerous, though. He had to remember his name. Reek, my name is Reek, it rhymes with weak.”

He is still deliberately avoiding to use his former name, until the end of the chapter, when Roose arrives with “Arya Stark” whom Theon immediately recognizes as not Arya but Sansa’s friend Jeyne Poole.

Jeyne is the first real proof and the living reminder of who he used to be and now there is no denying that Theon Greyjoy existed. Reek wants to help her but he can’t help her in his condition (his condition of being Reek). At this point, Reek has a clear reason to rebuild himself and become Theon again. He’s had a taste of his old life and the person he used to be and he wants to go back to that. For the first time, he is able to acknowledge who he really used to be because he’s been given hope that that person is not entirely lost.

“Once, a boy called Theon Greyjoy had enjoyed tweaking Bolton as they sat at council with Robb Stark.”

He is still referring to himself in the third person but he finally uses his name and he doesn’t feel the need to remind himself that he is Reek this time.

Reek III

In his third Reek chapter the first cracks in his Reek shield appear. He allows himself to have a defiant thought against Ramsay (something that sent him into an acute state of panic in his first chapter) He allows himself to think about his brothers and doesn’t deny they were his brothers (unlike what he did when he was thinking about smiler), which means he’s acknowledging that he is, in fact, still Theon Greyjoy. And last but not least, when Roose suggest to let him have a bath and new clothes he panics and in his panic says this “I only want these clothes. Reek’s clothes. I’m reek, it rhymes with peak” in other words, he is referring to Reek in the third person (for the first time), something he did with Theon in the previous chapters.

However, cracks are not enough because when Roose tells lady Dustin that he is Theon, Reek panics again and tells them “I’m not the turncloak, he died at winterfell. My name is reek, it rhymes with freak” Theon is not ready to let go of Reek, because Reek is the shield that protects him from Ramsay. But beginnings are always difficult, and a few cracks can have a tremendous impact.

The prince of winterfell

In the prince of winterfell Theon is forced to marry of Jeyne poole (disguised as being Arya Stark) to Ramsay Bolton. He has been under Roose’ care for a while because they needed him for the wedding, to give the bride away. As Theon himself states “They are using me to cloak their deception, putting mine own face on their lie.”

Being in better circumstances for a while has given Theon the power to claim his own name again. For the first time in a dance with dragons he refers to himself as Theon Greyjoy again, however, just the name isn’t enough. He knows that his condition isn’t stable at all. And he knows that Roose will soon have no more use for him “He will give me back to Ramsay then, he thought, and Ramsay will take a few more fingers and turn me into Reek once more”

Jeyne Poole remembers Theon, and asks him for help, she reminds him of who he used to be “I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome.” she wants to see him like this, the Theon she knew at winterfell, because she needs to believe that that Theon would help her. And maybe Theon believes that Theon would help her too, but he isn’t that Theon anymore, he insists that he is no one’s man “A man would help her”

But Theon does want to help her, the only way he is capable of at the moment, by telling her who she’s supposed to be. When she insists that he is not Arya, that her name is Jeyne, Theon tells her to just be Arya. Because “Talk like that will get you killed, or worse. That lesson he had learned as Reek.” It was easier for him to be Reek after all. “Her name, she had to know her name.” Now that Ramsay’s attention has shifted to Jeyne, Theon shifts his experiences onto her as well. The fact that he embraced his Reek persona was what saved him so he assumes that pretending to be Arya will save Jeyne (which it probably did), he wants to help her the best way he can. And he knows no other way then this way because he is not even a man.

But Theon feels guilty about not being able to help her and he goes back to insisting on it not being his fault multiple times, like he used to do in a clash of kings when he felt guilty about the people he killed. He is trying to convince himself that he is not what she wants him to be and therefore not capable of what she asks of him. “It was not right that she should look to him for rescue. What had she been thinking, that he would whistle up a winged horse and fly her out of here, like some hero in the stories she and Sansa used to love? He could not even help himself. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with meek.”

When he thinks of defying Ramsay his Reek person immediately comes out again. He insists that he is not the hero Jeyne wants (needs) him to be, but he is still Ramsay’s creature. But in his guilt he keeps thinking of ways to help her, twice he thinks about their deaths. Once caused by Jeyne herself and once caused by him killing her. “That would be a kindness, wouldn’t it? And if the old gods hear my prayer, Ramsay in his wroth might strike me dead as well.” But Theon doesn’t dare act on any of his thoughts, he cannot truly help Jeyne until he is fully Theon again.

Theon has a reason to fully rebuild himself but Being Theon is not as easy as being Reek. Not only is it dangerous, it also comes with a whole lot of guilt. Guilt he hasn’t had to feel for a long time (while being Reek) “How many died the day that he took Winterfell? How many more the day he lost it? The day that Theon Greyjoy died, to be reborn as Reek. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with shriek.” Theon immediately tries to repress his guilt by insisting that Theon is dead and he is Reek, they are two different people so he doesn’t have to feel the guilt of the one he is not.

None the less Jeyne believes him to be a hero and Theon really wants to be that hero, but he doesn’t believe that he can be. He gets confused over who he truly is. “He did not know who he was, or what he was, why he was still alive, why he had ever been born.” He doesn’t understand he’s changing yet, he doesn’t know why. Reek’s purpose was serving Ramsay but as he is changing back into Theon that purpose disappears. For a brief moment he is neither Reek nor Theon but something in between them. He doesn’t know what his purpose is.

After the marriage Ramsay forces Reek to prepare his bride for him. At Ramsay’s command he uses his knife to cut off her clothes. With the knife in hand, he thinks of killing Ramsay, at thought that wouldn’t have even crossed his mind a few chapters ago. But he has no self-confidence and ultimately thinks it’s simply one of Ramsay’s tests, remembering Kyra with the keys (as he does every time he thinks Ramsay is testing him) “He wants me to try to kill him. And when I fail, he’ll flay the skin from the hand I used to hold the blade.”

“If she’s not wet by the time I’m done disrobing, I will cut off that tongue of yours and nail it to the wall.”

Somewhere in the godswood, a raven screamed. The dagger was still in his hand.

He sheathed it.

Reek, my name is Reek, it rhymes with weak. Reek bent to his task

One Threat from Ramsay is enough to bring him back to his Reek persona, even if only temporarily. Theon has far from fully regained himself, though he has the potential to, now that he has his name back and Ramsay doesn’t even suspect that he does.

The Turncloak

In the Turncloak, Theon thinks of an actual escape plan for the first time, he has had many defiant thoughts over the past few chapters and has not been so scared that Ramsay would simply know he had those thoughts but none the less he doesn’t dare act on them. Ramsay has tricked him more than once and Theon is fast to assume that every opportunity he gets is nothing more than Ramsay setting up a trap in the hopes he will try and fail.

“Even if he found some secret way out, Theon would not have trusted it. He had not forgotten Kyra and her keys.”

This kind of defiance doesn’t just come out of nowhere. Something very important happened the day before. Jeyne called him Theon. before Jeyne came into the picture no one probably called him Theon in months and now there is this girl from his past who, despite how much he’s changed, calls him by his real name and still regards him as the person he used to be back in Winterfell.

““Theon …” she whispered, weeping. “Reek.” He grabbed her arm and shook her. “In here I’m Reek. You have to remember, Arya.” But the girl was no true Stark, only a steward’s whelp. Jeyne, her name is Jeyne. She should not look to me for rescue. Theon Greyjoy might have tried to help her, once. But Theon had been ironborn, and a braver man than Reek. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with weak.”

The many struggles apparent from this quote are important. Theon is forced to tell her she should call him Reek, to be called Theon is dangerous and right after that he thinks of how he wants to save her and how Theon would have tried to help her. But he reminds himself that he is not Theon. He is still clinging to his Reek persona but the idea of Theon saving Jeyne is there already.

Once this thought has festered, Theon becomes increasingly suspicious. When one of the washerwomen comes up to him he is certain that Ramsay sent her to test him and when he recalls Kyra with the keys this time he becomes emotional. He thinks about hitting and fucking the girl and quickly reminds himself that. “Reek, Reek, my name is Reek. I must not forget my name.”

Later on he prays to the gods ““Please,” he murmured through his broken teeth, “I never meant …” The words caught in his throat. “Save me,” he finally managed. “Give me …” What? Strength? Courage? Mercy? Snow fell around him, pale and silent, keeping its own counsel.”

At this point Theon doesn’t know what he wants yet but he clearly wants to get a chance to change his situation. His reek persona is slowly slipping. To reinforce this wish of change he hears Jeyne’s weeping. “The sound was too painful to endure.” Theon cannot stand to hear her cry so his cause is clear (even if it’s not clear to him yet) he has to become Theon again so he can make the sound of Jeyne’s crying stop.

A ghost in winterfell

A ghost in winterfell is all about death. A mysterious killer is murdering people in winterfell, even t-Theon is briefly considered a suspect. All the death around him gets Theon to think of his own death. He considers throwing himself off the walls but he can’t help but think what Ramsay would do if he survived the fall and quickly reminds himself “I have to remember my name”. What that name is though, he doesn’t have to remind himself anymore. He knows.

And when he does think of the name Ramsay gave him again, he starts off thinking of him in the third person “Reek is no man. Not Reek. Not me.” And he never even acknowledges Reek and himself being the same person, though he puts the two on the same level.

“Theon would have laughed aloud if he’d remembered how.”

Theon may have reclaimed his name, he may not consider himself Reek anymore but he doesn’t remember how to laugh, he is not free from Ramsay’s influence just yet, the struggle is far from over.

After Roose and Lady Dustin have decided that he couldn’t hold a knife with his missing fingers and can therefore not be the killer Theon goes back to imagining his own death.

“Theon wondered if he might be allowed to fight. Then at least he might die a man’s death, sword in hand. That was a gift Ramsay would never give him, but Lord Roose might. If I beg him. I did all he asked of me, I played my part, I gave the girl away. Death was the sweetest deliverance he could hope for.” This is already a very different idea then his previous suicide thought. He doesn’t just think of dying he thinks of dying “a man’s death” he is hoping to regain some of the dignity he’s lost, dignity that he didn’t even consider to ever get back before now.

Theon eventually begs the gods and this time he knows what he wants “Let me die as Theon, not as Reek.” At this point Theon has regained something he hasn’t had in a long time, he has hope.

Theon

In this chapter we finally get to see some of Theon’s old habits return.

“theon would have laughed if he had dared”

At this point Theon “remembers” how to laugh, though he doesn’t dare to do so yet. But slowly he is going back to the old ways of who he used to be and what he used to do. But the moment Ramsay enters the room Theon instantly goes back to being terrified.

“Lord Ramsay soon appeared as well, […]His mood is foul this morning. Theon could tell. […]Please, m’lord, don’t look this way. One glance would be all it would take for Ramsay to know everything. He’ll see it written on my face. He’ll know. He always knows.“

What’s important to note is that while Theon is terrified Ramsay knows about their plans he does not return to his reek persona, for the first time there is no “my name is reek…” he has regained enough of his personality to remain Theon, even when Ramsay is close and terrifying him.

““If the Bastard does come after us, he might live long enough to rue it.” […]Think that, Theon thought. Believe that. Tell yourself it’s true.”

When theon thinks about Abels plan to escape with Jeyne Poole (thinking she is Arya Stark) he is convinced it will fail. Like he used to be convinced a lot of things he tried/was in a clash of kings would fail. Because with being Theon Greyjoy comes a lot of self-doubt, insecurities and a low self-esteem. However the trick he used to use, telling himself he wasn’t going to fail, is not working anymore at this point. So he projects it onto Abel. Somehow hoping that if Abel believes it Theon doesn’t have to, he is not used to having that responsibility anymore and he doesn’t want it.

 “They did not trust him. Why should they? I was Reek before and might be Reek again. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with sneak.”

Theon clearly states that he is not Reek, however he cannot be sure that he won’t ever be Reek again, he even falls back into it for a moment just by thinking about it.

“He smiled through his broken teeth.

Foolish woman. He might well be a broken thing, but Theon still wore a dagger. It would have been a simple thing to slide it out and drive it down between her shoulder blades. That much he was still capable of, missing teeth and broken teeth and all. It might even be a kindness—a quicker, cleaner end than the one she and her sisters would face when Ramsay caught them.

 Reek might have done it. Would have done it, in hopes it might please Lord Ramsay. These whores meant to steal Ramsay’s bride; Reek could not allow that. But the old gods had known him, had called him Theon. Ironborn, I was ironborn, Balon Greyjoy’s son and rightful heir to Pyke. The stumps of his fingers itched and twitched, but he kept his dagger in its sheath.”

Theon very clearly differentiates between Theon and Reek in this quote.

Theon is the one who has to tell himself that he could kill her if he wanted to, and believes it would be a mercy to kill her before Ramsay gets his hands on her (just like he thought in Jeyne’s situation in the prince of winterfell)

While Reek would have killed her only to please Ramsay.

But ultimately, Theon is the one who wins out, he’s the one who does not kill her, but likes to believe he could.         

“My lady.” Theon could not bring himself to call her Arya and dare not call her Jeyne. “No need to hide. These are friends.”

The furs stirred. An eye peered out, shining with tears. Dark, too dark. A brown eye. “Theon?”

Theon has fully acknowledged his own identity at this point and he again, extends it to Jeyne, now that he is Theon again he cannot call her Arya anymore. But he doesn’t dare to call her Jeyne because the fear of Ramsay is still there, he still doesn’t dare to risk his wrath, even when he is not there, even when he is in the process of betraying him, the name still means protection.

 “I … I have no brothers.”

  She has forgotten who she is. She has forgotten her name. “That’s so,” said Theon, “but you had brothers once. Three of them. Robb and Bran and Rickon.”

  “They’re dead. I have no brothers now.”

We are all dead, Theon thought. I told them this was folly, but none of them would listen. Abel had doomed them. All singers were half-mad. In songs, the hero always saved the maiden from the monster’s castle, but life was not a song, no more than Jeyne was Arya Stark. Her eyes are the wrong color. And there are no heroes here, only whores. Even so, he knelt beside her, pulled down the furs, touched her cheek. “You know me. I’m Theon, you remember. I know you too. I know your name.

Theon is not fully able to be himself while still being so close to Ramsay, he is still acting out the importance of not forgetting who Ramsay decides they are, even when that is of no importance considering he is trying to take Ramsay’s wife away, it is still ingrained in the back of his mind.

Theon is in the process of saving Jeyne but he he still doesn’t believe he can save her, he doesn’t believe that in real life the “hero” manages to save the maiden and even compares it to the fact that Jeyne Poole is not Arya stark, acknowledging who she really is (which can be extended to Theon).

“He and the girl were alone. If they take us alive, they will deliver us to Ramsay.

Theon grabbed Jeyne about the waist and jumped.”

By saving Jeyne, Theon reinforces his identity as Theon, it is the ultimate act of defiance against Ramsay, it is Theon’s first decision in his entire life that is not meant to please others and it is the symbol of Theon’s rebirth. Theon has freed himself from the identity forced on him by Ramsay, and has found the identity he’d always been looking for, the real him, who does what he does because HE thinks it’s the right thing to do.