it means im hiding from people here

you know what tumblr fandoms should consider more?

lesbians

there needs to be more lesbians 

You will never be let down by anyone
more than you will be let down
by the one you love most in the world
it’s how gravity works
it’s why they call it “falling”
it’s why the truth is harder to tell
every year you have more to lose
but you can choose to bury your past
in the garden by the tulips
water it until it’s so alive
it lets go
and you belong to yourself
again

When you belong to yourself again
Remember forgiveness
is not a tidy grave
It is a ready loyal knight kneeling before your royal heart

Call in your royal heart
Tell it bravery cannot be measured by a lack of fear
It takes guts to tremble
It takes so much tremble to love
Every first date is a fucking earthquake

Sweetheart, on our first date
I showed off all my therapy
I flaunted the couch
Where I finally sweat out my history
I pulled out the photo album from the last time I wore a lie to the school dance
I smiled and said “that was never my style
Look how fixed I am
Look how there’s no more drywall on my fist
Look at the stilts I’ve carved for my short temper
Look how my wrist is not something I have to hide” I said
Well I was hiding it

The telephone pole still down from the storm
By our third date I had fixed the line
I said listen
I have a hard time
I mean I cry as often as most people pee and I don’t shut the door behind me
I’ll be up in your face screaming “SEATTLE IS TOO RAINY SEATTLE IS TOO RAINY
IM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO LIVE HERE.”
I sobbed
on our fourth date

I can’t live here
In my body, I mean
I can’t live in my body all the time it feels too much
So if I ever feel far away know I am not gone
I am just underneath my grief
Adjusting the dial on my radio faith so I can take this life with all of it’s love and all of it’s loss

See I already know that you are the place where I am finally going to sing without any static meaning
I’m never gonna wait
that extra twenty minutes
to text you back
and I’m never gonna play
hard to get
when I know your life
has been hard enough already
When we all know everyone’s life
has been hard enough already

it’s hard to watch
the game we make of love,
like everyone’s playing checkers
with their scars,
saying checkmate
whenever they get out
without a broken heart.

Just to be clear
I don’t want to get out
without a broken heart.
I intend to leave this life
so shattered
there better be a thousand separate heavens
for all of my separate parts
And none of those parts are going to be wearing the romance from the overpriced vintage rack
That is to say I am not going to get a single speed bike if I can’t make it up the hill
I know exactly how many gears I’m going to need to love you well
And none of them look hip at the coffee shop
They all have God saying “good job you’re finally not full of bullshit”
You finally met someone who’s going to flatten your knee caps into skipping stones

Baby, throw me
Throw me as far as I can go
I don’t want to leave this life without ever having come home
And I want to come home to you
I can figure out the rain

—  Royal Heart, Andrea Gibson

anonymous asked:

Im genuinely scared. As a woman who is not old enough to vote, and is too small to vote, I'm scared. My parents won't let me stay home, and I feel sick. I don't know what to do.

Anon, you are so brave for just being here right now. Everything that’s happened is the result of the system being broken and terrible people being allowed to do terrible things, and it’s not your fault. Try and get through today as best you can, and if that means hiding from it at times, turning off social media and the news and finding space to be on your own, try and do that. Remember that we are with you, and there are so many people who think the same way as you and would support you in a heartbeat. You are not alone. Be safe.

7

too excited 2 wait til i get home to talk about how much this day means to me. I have to go every day hiding parts of myself from my family and classmates and it is isolating and breaks my heart. i am so so proud of every single trans person in the entire world for just bein on earth today. im full of so much love for everyone!!! some days visibility is about the best i can ask for from people. but this is me i am here and i exist!!! im not a woman or a man and thats okay and i dont owe an apology to anyone for existing. my body and gender belong to me and i am a trans miracle happy transgender day of visibility to the beautiful trans and genderqueer people in my life who have kept me inspired and alive.