it may change again

2

  The Devil Can Be Beautiful ~ Theo Raeken x Reader

 Requested: “I want to trust you. You were my best friend at one point, believe me, I want to trust you but I don’t know if I can. My pack they-” imagine with theo ???

 

Nostalgia is a funny thing. It’s just a feeling; it’s just a word- a paradoxical word at that. On one hand it provides a certain kind of contentment that arises at the thought of wonderful memories from the past, a feeling that fills you with wistful warmth.  But on the other hand, it can be a torturous sensation reminding you that you may never experience the same things again, that things have changed and they can never be the same.

 There was a time when they were friends, best friends even. It was a long time ago- ten years or so. They were just children who had no idea what the real world was. They thought their parents could fix anything, the good guys always won, monsters were ugly creatures that were distinct from the average person, and above all, they thought they would always have each other. But they were wrong. They were wrong about everything.

 The metal door underneath a neon red sign spelling out ‘EXIT’ opens easily under her influence. It’s a cool night, the air crisp and breezy, but not uncomfortably so. She finds a seat on the edge of the roof, letting the still night ease what’s left of the adrenaline pumping throughout her body. Waiting for Lydia to get out of surgery in the stuffy hospital was starting to become too much for her, so she sought out refuge in the quietest part of the hospital. Finding one of her closest friends bleeding out on the police station floor after being attacked by a kanima-werewolf hybrid was a lot to come down from

“So this is where you disappeared to,” a voice says from behind her. She doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. The point of coming up here was to be alone, but since he’s the one who essentially saved Lydia’s life, she figures she should at least be courteous.

 “Yeah, It’s a nice night. At least weather wise,” she says a bit awkwardly, not looking at him when she speaks. Ever since he returned unannounced she hasn’t been sure how to treat him. Sure he used to be her best friend, but that was nearly a decade ago. She doesn’t know him at all now and no matter how genuine he appears to be, something just isn’t right.

 “It is. Are you doing okay?” he asks, taking a seat next to her, their legs dangling over the edge of the building. It’s probably not the safest position, but if she can survive a hybrid attack then something as mundane as sitting on the roof shouldn’t be too dangerous. If she goes by falling off the roof then that’s how she goes. At least the coroner wouldn’t find anything odd like scales or a tail.

 “I’m fine. I didn’t get stabbed or slashed or anything,” she assures, stealing a glance at his profile. Bad idea. Even from the side his face still relays an angelic appearance with a sharp jawline.

 “I mean like mentally and emotionally. Physical wounds aren’t the only ones that need to be stitched up sometimes,” Theo concludes.

“Oh, that’s thoughtful. Thank you for asking,” she says faintly, unsure of how to act around him. Time changes everything. Especially with her used to be best friend. She used to tell him everything and vice versa, but that was when they were innocent elementary school buddies. Now he’s nearly eighteen, looks as if God himself sculpted every inch of his perfect face and body, and has a shady aura about him.

 “That was formal,” he laughs, turning to face her directly. She can feel his eyes on her, observant and calculative.

“I don’t know what to make of you,” she admits, looking him in the eye.

“You didn’t look all too thrilled to see me at the senior scribe and you’ve been distant since then. You don’t trust me,” he murmurs despondently.  A vague look of sadness flashes over his face. It’s hard to tell how real it is.

“I want to trust you. You were my best friend at one point, believe me, I want to trust you but I don’t know if I can. My pack they-”

“Don’t. They don’t trust me,” he nods in understanding, getting up off the ledge to walk around the roof.

She remembers when his sister died.  They were seven years old and how no idea how cruel life could be. She had been missing for a while and Theo tried to put on brave face for his parents. He wore this smile on his face like a mask, hiding how scared he really was. He would pace around the living room, a nervous habit he developed for coping when he was upset or afraid. It was like he could walk off the unpleasant feelings.

 The day they found her he wouldn’t sit down. He walked around in circles with silent tears streaming out of his glossy blue-green eyes. Eventually she walked over to him and tugged on his arm to halt the motion. Neither of them said anything as she led him to the couch. She hugged him and they stayed like that, twined together on the couch for a very long time.

 Watching him pace around the roof reminds her of that tragedy. She can almost see the grief stricken seven year old. It makes her chest tighten uncomfortably and her eyes sting in the subtlest way.

“Theo,” she calls, her voice stronger this time, “please come sit down.”

He stops pacing and looks at her. He looks somber, but not necessarily sad. It’s an odd expression, one she’s never seen before. He’s resigned, but there’s something in his eyes that almost looks mischievous. In this lighting it’s hard to tell.

“Are you reminiscing over there?” he inquires, aware of what she must be thinking while she watches him pace.

“I guess I am,” she admits, patting the space next to her.

He rejoins her, overlooking the back lot of the hospital. From this view all you can see are the extra ambulances that sit still, waiting for an emergency to happen.

“Do you remember how much we used to love horror movies?” Theo asks, searching her face.

“Those and every thriller we could get our hands on,” she grins, remembering simpler times.

“That was a staple in our friendship,” he agrees, mirroring her grin.

“Now my life is a horror movie,” she sighs woefully.

Her statement isn’t far from the truth. She lives in a world full of monsters and murderous psychopaths. In a way, the movies she used to watch as a child somewhat prepared her for how her life would turn out. Except there’s one vital piece of truth the movies never displayed. In the fictitious stories the villain is hideous and marred with imperfections. The villain looks like a villain. They aren’t physically appealing- just look at Freddie Krueger. This is a lie in the real world. The bad guy isn’t always a disfigured lunatic; sometimes the bad guy looks like an angel and has a smooth tongue. Sometimes the bad guy is charming and enticing.

“Look on the Brightside,” Theo notes, “You’ve been prepared for all of this since you were a kid.”

“I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the nogitsune, or a kanima-werewolf hybrid,” she tilts her head, squinting slightly.

“Alright, fair point,” he chuckles softly.

It almost feels like it used to. Almost. Maybe it’s because they’re older and they’ve both gone through hell. Maybe it’s because they’re nearly strangers. Maybe it’s because puberty hit them both like a train and the tension is becoming obvious. Maybe it’s something she can’t quite place her finger on.

“Thanks for saving Lydia,” she says gratefully, “After everything… We can’t lose her, too.”

“The ex best friend saving the new best friend,” he jokes, lightening the situation.

“I honestly don’t know what to consider you anymore,” she chuckles, pushing her hair back from her face.

He studies her carefully, looking exceptionally considerate.

“Can I try something?” he asks, his voice soft.

She nods ‘yes’, giving him the green light for whatever he’s planning on doing.

It happens quickly and without hesitation. Her eyes close immediately, her body shivering in surprise. She wasn’t necessarily expecting him to kiss her, but she isn’t necessarily surprised that he did. He tastes like a mix of nostalgia and mystery. His hands feel like old memories and an unforeseeable future. He is a paradox of the familiar and the unknown.

 She never expected his lips to be so gentle, or his touch to be so soft. She never expected that her best friend would disappear and then reappear only ten years later to rescue her pack and kiss her on the rooftop of the hospital. She also would never expect that her best friend is a liar. She doesn’t know that this is power play in a scheme that will ruin their lives. She doesn’t know that he’s manipulative and cunning.

 She doesn’t know that the devil can be beautiful. She doesn’t know that the devil is her best friend.


*Not my gif (X)*

wednesdayspuppet -->> faithlessdaughter

i like this much better, though I’m still unsure. It’s definitely less clunky. May change again in the future but it’ll be a while yet unless inspiration strikes me down. 

So I’m sat on my bed contemplating everything that has happened in the past couple of weeks.

Like why do I let the same people into my life and let them do the same shitty things over and over again thinking that they may have changed. I knew in my head they hadn’t but in my heart I wanted it to be true.

I’m just too much of soft touch to ever see people for who they truly are. I always want to see the good in them when in reality there isn’t any good in them at all.