Do You Love Him?
Summary: Fiona wants to meet the boy who occupies Ian’s heart, but after the latest encounter between the closeted couple, Ian believes it will never happen.
Word Count: 1983
“Do you love him?” Fiona smiles at her brother who is clearly distracted by something.
His head jolts to the side so he can see his sister and make sure that the question was meant for him, which is was. “What? Love who?” Ian blabbers.
She chuckles softly. “Whatever boy it is that’s got your mind so fucking occupied.” Fiona turns to her brother, who is obviously still distracted. “Yo, Ian, you okay?”
“Yeah, I love him,” Ian replies to the first question as he turns his head to look out of the window. He is doing everything he can to mask his unsteady breath.
“I want to meet him then,” Fi says sternly. “Love is a big deal, bud. I can tell it’s pretty serious between you two—”
Ian dryly laughs. “Don’t know about that,” he says under his breath. “But he’s closeted, Fi. If it was easy enough to bring him over for dinner and introduce him to the whole family, I would.”
The eldest sister frowns at the sadness in the redhead’s voice. “Well, if it’s meant to be, it will be,” she slightly smiles. “Y’know, good things take time.”
“I guess,” Ian forces a smile.
“Talk to him about comin’ over to meet us,” Fiona says and exits the room without giving Ian a chance to respond.
* * *
As Ian walks to his job at the Kash n Grab, he thinks deeply about the last few words Mickey said to him.
What do you think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?
You’re nothin’ but a warm mouth to me.
His heart breaks as he thinks about that boy. He then winces as he thinks about how hard it had been for him to hold back his tears in that moment. Would’ve been a pussy move to cry over a fucking Milkovich.
To Ian’s surprise, when he walks into the store, he sees Mickey leaning on the countertop with his head in his hands. “What are you doing here?” Ian speaks harshly to get the older boy’s attention.
“I did try to kill Frank,” Mickey says. “Wanted nothing more to kill that fucker, but your stupid face kept coming into my mind and fucking everything up.”
Ian scoffs. “Cut the shit, Mickey. I’m mean fuck all to you. If you really wanted him dead you would have done it.” He proceeds to the back room, but Mickey follows.
“You’re that fucking naive, aren’t you?” There’s a tone behind Mickey’s voice that Ian has never heard. It’s something he cannot understand.
The redheaded boy ignores Mickey and begins on his work, avoiding all eye contact.
Mickey lets out a frustrated groan. “Fuck,” he says to himself. “Do you know how much easier it would be for you to hate me, Gallagher? Do you fucking know how much that would benefit you?”
“How do you know what’s right for me? Huh?” Ian’s voice raises with every word.
“Because you deserve more than me! You deserve someone who will give you the world, and I can’t do that because I’m too fucking scared!” Mickey’s screams make Ian’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach. The thought of Mickey Milkovich being afraid is something that no one would ever believe.
Ian’s angry facial expression falls as he notices how anxious the other boy is. “What are you scared of?”
Instead of replying, Mickey shakes his has and lets out a heavy breath.
“Mick,” Ian walks closer.
“You’re not just a warm mouth to me, Ian. You’re everything. You’re all that fucking matters and it scares the shit out of me because we would both be dead if my dad finds out,” he responds quickly and jumbles his words together.
At first Ian doesn’t know what to do or say so he freezes in his tracks. Truthfully, he didn’t think that Mickey was capable of saying so much in on conversation, but he was happy to be proven wrong.
Ian then walks to Mickey and places both hands on either side of his face. He turns the shorter boy’s head to face him so they are forced to look into each other’s eyes. “I don’t care about any of that shit with Terry because he won’t find out. I want you, I need you.”
“You’d be better off without–”
Suddenly, Mickey surprises Ian and even himself by crashing his lips against the other boys. Once Ian realizes he needs to reciprocate, the kiss deepens. Their hands run over each other’s body and through each other’s hair. The separate eventually, but only because they need to breathe.
Ian kisses him again and smiles into mouth. “Y’know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?”
“Too long,” Mickey says happily.
“Please, don’t give up on us, Mick.”
Mickey nods. “I won’t.” The boy’s stare at each other for along time, just taking in what just happened between them.
“I– Um– I don’t want to go home tonight. Terry was bad this morning,” Mickey breaks the silence and looks down at his feet. Ian can tell he feels embarrassed about saying that to him.
Ian nods. “Come to my house. No one will suspect anything, I promise. I mean, they know I’m gay and all, but obviously not you,” he starts blabbering.
“Alright,” Mickey says. “Let’s get back to fucking working.” Ian agrees and smiles as he watches Mickey turn away. It will never fail to amaze Ian on how fast he can put his guard back up.
* * *
The walk home from the Kash n Grab was fairly quiet. The boys found an odd amount of comfort and safety being in each other’s presence so the silence was not awkward. Mickey was smoking a cigarette, but would thoughtlessly pass it over to Ian whenever he was done taking a drag of it.
When they arrived to the house, Ian noticed how Mickey started to rub his hand against the back of his neck and bite his lip. Being that Mickey was nervous and uncomfortable, Ian was going to make an effort to make him feel okay.
“Hey, guys,” Ian said to his siblings. “Mickey told me he needs a place to stay tonight so I brought him here.”
Everyone looked at the thug with shocked faces. They knew he and Ian worked together, but no one realized that they could actually be friends.
Ian gave Fiona a look that only she could understand– a look to remind her of their previous conservation. “That cool, Fi?”
“Uh, umm, yeah,” she stutters. “Hey, Mickey,” she tries to smile. He only nods at her in return.
After a few moments of awkwardness, everyone gathered in the kitchen for dinner. No one knew where Lip was, but Debbie helped her sister out by watching Liam while Fiona cooked, and Ian set the table. On the other hand, Carl was talking Mickey’s ear off by asking him all sorts of criminal-like questions that he felt obliged to answer.
Once the food was ready, everyone took their seats. Mickey made sure to find his way next to his secret boyfriend and whispered, “Gallagher, you’re brother is a fucking sociopath.”
Ian laughed in return. “Maybe.”
People started to chow down on their food, and talk some more, which made Mickey shift in his seat. He wasn’t used to the loudness and the laughing, instead he’s used to fighting and threatening.
Fiona notices the way Ian is repeatedly checking to make sure if Mickey is okay, but she also notices how the dark haired boy’s gaze never leaves Ian. It kind of looks like they’re in the own little world. She wasn’t sure if this was the boy that Ian was claiming to love, but with the look Ian gave her when he entered the house and the glances the boys are giving each other now, it all adds up.
The eldest sister doesn’t want her brothers secret boyfriend to feel uncomfortable in this house, so he decides to start conversation with him. “So, Mickey, how long have you been working at the Kash n Grab?”
“Since I got outta juvie,” he states with no emotion. When things start to silence, he says, “I gotta hit the bathroom.”
Ian puts his head down and shakes it. He knew his family would make things worse for the Milkovich boy.
Suddenly, Kev and V walk in with more beer. They greet everyone and take their seats like usual. “So, sweetheart,” V says to Ian. “Fi says you’re head over heels in love with some Southside boy. Wanna tell us who it is?”
Ian’s eyes widen when Mickey comes out of the bathroom. Mickey’s facial expression tells Ian that he heard every word that V said. “Fuck,” he says to himself.
“Gotta smoke,” Mickey stumbles out of the house through the backdoor.
“Fuck!” Ian goes outside after him.
V’s jaw drops open when she realize what’s going on. “Oh, shit.”
Kev and the kids all share the same confused looks. “What?” Kev says.
Fiona shakes her head and then notices the window is open. “Guys! Let’s go watch through the window, we’ll be able to hear them too,” she whispers just in case the boys can hear. They all quietly crowd around to see what’s going on.
Mickey’s hands are on his head and he’s walking back and forth when Ian is approaching him. Once he feels Ian’s close proximity, he stops in his tracks to look at the younger boy. When he sees the apologetic look in eyes, he puts his head down. “What the fuck, Ian?”
“I didn’t tell her,” he says sheepishly. “She doesn’t know it’s you.”
“Does now,” he snorts out an embarrassed laugh. “Shit.”
“M’sorry,” Ian says and backs away.
Mickey shakes his head. “Is it true what she said?”
“That you’re head over heels in love with me– is it true?”
Ian lets out a huge gulp. He’s scared of what Mickey’s reaction would be if he answers truthfully, but he’s always scared of what he’d do if he lied. “Yeah, it’s true,” he says honestly.
Mickey slowly steps closer. “Fuck,” he stops before he gets any closer. “I fuckin’ told you that you deserve more than me.”
“Would you stop saying that, Mick. You don’t know what’s good for me and what isn’t, I do. If I thought I deserved more than you, I’d make sure I–” he gets cut off by Mickey’s lips falling into his once again.
When the separate they lean their foreheads together for a moment. “I love you too, asshole,” Mickey says nervously. Ian’s big smile calms his nerves though, so he can’t help but smile back.
“Holy shit!” The boys here Carl yell from the window.
“Goddamnit,” Ian shakes his head at the group of people huddled around the window. “Let’s get outta here.”
Mickey chuckles. “Dine and dash? We never got to finish our food so I’m still hungry.”
“Works for me,” Ian says and follows behind Mickey.
V, Kev, Fiona, Debbie, and Carl stare at the two boys until they are out of sight. All of their jaws are dropped wide opened in astonishment.
“Mickey fucking Milkovich?” Fiona giggles a bit harshly.
V sucks in a breath. “Yeah, but hey, looks like Ian’s got a tight grip on the dirtiest white boy in America.”
“I think it’s cool,” Carl says as he beams over the thought of being friends with a Milkovich thug.
“I don’t mind it either,” Debbie says as she takes Liam out of his high chair.
Fiona laughs. “Glad to have you two as optimists.”
“Holy fuck,” Kev exclaims once he finally gains awareness.
V cocks an eyebrow at her husband. “You good, baby?”
“That’s some true fuckin’ love right there. Did you see that? Ian got Mickey Milkovich to feel something. Holy shit,” Kev rambles.
“Maybe it won’t be so bad. Ian must love him for a reason,” Fi smiles.