it made me numb

anonymous asked:

I tried to take your survey but it kicked me out when I said that I wasn't bothered by pronouns? Like I didn't know how to answer that question because I wouldn't say that it's because I feel like all pronouns fit me but because of severe social conditioning to accept the pronouns I was born with has made me more numb than okay with all of them. I feel like your survey is going to leave out a chunk of people you want to talk to because you didn't take ambivalence through social coercion into acc

I don’t understand how this is a survey about pronouns if I can’t even tell you my preferred pronouns because your survey booted me two questions into it

There are three options in the first question:

  • I want people to avoid using pronouns when talking about me, for example by using my name instead of pronouns.
  • I don’t care at all what pronouns people use when they talk about me.
  • I (mildly or strongly) prefer some pronouns over others.

If you’d like to specify the pronouns that you are happy for people to use when talking about you, choose the third one! And if you have no pronoun preference at all, literally all pronouns are totally equally acceptable, choose the second one.

The survey doesn’t boot you. It *does*, however, let you skip the “enter your pronouns here” part if you don’t have pronouns that you like more than others. If you choose “I don’t care what pronouns people use when they talk about me,” that is recorded and counted alongside other pronoun information that people are entering in the survey.

If you change your mind about what you picked you can click the “back” button in the survey to go back one page, or you can reload the survey page completely to start again from the beginning.

[the survey]

➫ THE LUMINEERS; STARTER SENTENCES.

  • ❛ And all I tend to do is think of you. ❜
  • ❛ It’s I who waits, it’s you who’s late again. ❜
  • ❛ And it’s a shame that it ends this way. ❜
  • ❛ I hold on to a hope in my fate. ❜
  • ❛ Did you flinch? Did you care? ❜
  • ❛ Did he look? Did he stop and stare? ❜
  • ❛ I wrote you a song. ❜
  • ❛ And I’ll never leave you again. ❜
  • ❛ Lovers come, lovers go. ❜
  • ❛ Love should make you feel good. ❜
  • ❛ Make your fathers proud. ❜
  • ❛ I was blind, now I see. ❜
  • ❛ Here it comes, the big parade. ❜
  • ❛ This is my confession. ❜
  • ❛ She’ll tear a hole in you, the one you can’t repair. ❜
  • ❛ But I still love her, I don’t really care. ❜
  • ❛ It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all. ❜
  • ❛ The opposite of love’s indifference. ❜
  • ❛ And I won’t leave until you come downstairs. ❜
  • ❛ Head up, love. ❜
  • ❛ I feel her filth in my bones. ❜
  • ❛ The walls, they’re closing in. ❜
  • ❛ These boys are out for blood tonight. ❜
  • ❛ That wasn’t what we were good at. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve been trying to do it right. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve been living a lonely life. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve been sleeping here instead. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t know where I belong. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t know where I went wrong. ❜
  • ❛ I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t think you’re right for him. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t gamble, but if I did I would bet on us. ❜
  • ❛ Yes, there are times we live for somebody else. ❜
  • ❛ No one will believe me. ❜
  • ❛ Everyone thinks I’m a liar. ❜
  • ❛ No one knows the truth. ❜
  • ❛ No one trusts what I say. ❜
  • ❛ Overnight my hair turned gray. ❜
  • ❛ In the end, it boils down to credibility. ❜
  • ❛ Hello, how do you do? ❜
  • ❛ That’s pretty cool, but classy girls don’t kiss in bars, you fool. ❜
  • ❛ The hardest part is through. ❜
  • ❛ It takes a boy to live, but it takes a man to pretend he was there. ❜
  • ❛ It’s a long road to wisdom, but it’s a short one to being ignored. ❜
  • ❛ Be in my eyes. ❜
  • ❛ Be in my heart. ❜
  • ❛ I won’t close my eyes. ❜
  • ❛ It takes a man to live, but it takes a woman to make him compromise. ❜
  • ❛ I like what you wear. ❜
  • ❛ Clean it up, it’s okay. ❜
  • ❛ It’s gone numb around me. ❜
  • ❛ Suits were made for men, not boys. ❜
  • ❛ This faith that we fake is a choice. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t wanna go. ❜
  • ❛ If you’re down on your luck, don’t get down on yourself. ❜
  • ❛ Let’s all learn how to dance. ❜
  • ❛ We will waltz once again. ❜
  • ❛ I was meant for you and you were meant for me. ❜
  • ❛ I love you and everything about you. ❜
  • ❛ When you see a fire, you grab the gasoline. ❜
  • ❛ Pay your respects to society. ❜
  • ❛ Let’s drink to your health. ❜
  • ❛ May your dreams come to reality. ❜
  • ❛ I ain’t nobody’s problem but my own. ❜
  • ❛ Let me be and I will set you free. ❜
  • ❛ There’s no glory for me at the starting line. ❜
  • ❛ I was on my own in a search for the golden life. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve told lies that never came true. ❜
  • ❛ I have stolen and so have you. ❜
  • ❛ It’s just a little white lie. ❜
  • ❛ I know it was you. ❜
  • ❛ Everyone requires a plan. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve never seen nobody quite like you. ❜
  • ❛ You can always find me where the skies are blue. ❜
  • ❛ It’s all or nothing to you. ❜
  • ❛ People say I’m no good. ❜
  • ❛ Fuck ‘em, they’re just sick in the head. ❜
  • ❛ I can’t live life underneath it all. ❜
  • ❛ You’re a long way from home. ❜
  • ❛ This loneliness won’t last for long. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t know why I just can’t let it go. ❜
  • ❛ The strangers in this town, they raise you up just to cut you down. ❜
  • ❛ Home at last. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t own a single gun. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t have a sweetheart yet. ❜
  • ❛ Damn your wife, I’d be your mistress just to have you around. ❜
  • ❛ When I die, I’ll be on time. ❜
  • ❛ The only gifts from my Lord were a birth and a divorce. ❜
  • ❛ Heaven help a fool who falls in love. ❜
  • ❛ Pack yourself a toothbrush, dear. ❜
  • ❛ We were not born in sin. ❜
Joker Imagine - Self harm

Anonymous said:

Hi! Can you write one where joker finds out the reader is selfharming? Like when he catches he doing it?

!!!! WARNING !!!! 

THIS MIGHT/CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE: IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TOPICS SUCH AS: self harm, depressing thoughts, blood, gore etc DO NOT READ THIS! I DON’T WANT YOU GUYS TO GET TRIGGERED. I CARE ABOUT YOU SO PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

Side note: I’m not trying to romanticise self harming in any way. It was requested and (warning, an opinion is coming!) I think that people should write anything really. I mean, for some murder can be an awful topic. If no one wrote about crime, there would be no detective stories, comics etc. Just saying! 


Originally posted by won-der-land89


Your P.O.V.

The pain was one feeling that made me feel alive. I didn’t feel completely empty, numb and dead inside when I made myself feel something. When the blood tickled down my skin or the electricity pinched me, I felt alive. Funny how a few weeks ago I was scared to do this, so terrified that my boyfriend the Joker would find it. I still was, but I reached a point where I couldn’t stop.

I cut myself, not so it was super obvious, but sometimes here and there. What I mostly did was something different. I used a few wires and a battery to give myself shocks. It hurt like fuck and rarely left marks. Of course my skin was bruising but J wouldn’t suspect a thing. It was better so. He wouldn’t understand anyway.

I was a disgrace, a stupid girl who couldn’t do anything right. I felt like J would kill me off sooner or later because no one would want someone like me around for too long. Right? Who the fuck would put up with me for longer than a couple months? I was surprised J hadn’t realized what kind of a fool I was by now.

It was Monday evening in Gotham city. J was out somewhere with his goons so I was all alone in the penthouse. The day had been okay so far, but then things turned upside down when I was alone. My thoughts were clogged with bad memories, all the negative things people had told me, my super awful years and simply depressing thoughts. Like Joker hated me, he only used me, the entire world hated me. Stuff like that.

A couple hours passed and then I found myself in our purple bedroom, sitting on the floor close to the bathroom just in case I had to hurry there. I stared at the electricity gadget in front of me. My vision was a little blurry because I had been crying earlier. Tonight seemed worse. I needed something worse than some shocks. ‘’Fuck it’’ I spat out and got up, walking hazily to the bathroom. I opened a white drawer and grabbed a razor. The small cold metal could do a lot of bad things.

I looked at my almost clean wrist. It was very tempting since I used to cut my legs. J would see if I had a lot of scars on my wrist. One couldn’t be too obvious. So I took a deep breath and placed the sharp metal on my wrist, pressing it gently to add pressure.Then I just stared at it with my heart beating harder than normally. I just had to drag it, down, then it would be done.

‘’Come on now’’ I growled at myself, getting angry because I couldn’t find the guts to do it. Then I leaned against the bathroom wall and I tried again. I just couldn’t. My gut twisted because I was a little pissed off with myself. ‘’Do it you sick idiot! It’s not like anyone cares’’ I spoke out loud once I saw my reflection in the mirror. I saw an ugly worthless girl. I gritted my teeth and then let the anger take the best of me. I made a deep cut and then I dropped the razor on the white tile floor. It took me a couple seconds to realize what I had done.

Blood started oozing out of the fresh cut and it hurt more than I expected. ‘’Oh no’’ I whispered and quickly pressed the wound with my clean hand. I made a huge mess! J would get so mad if he saw a ll this blood! ‘’Shit shit shit’’ I hissed under my breath and hurried to another drawer, pulling out a towel. Then I fell down on my knees and I tried to clean the blood. It just soaked the green towel and my bleeding wound kept making a mess. Before I could do anything else, I was stopped.

‘’What the hell is going on?’’ I heard a very familiar voice by the bathroom door. My entire body froze on the floor, every single muscle and cell just tensed up once Joker’s voice rang through my ears. How long had he been here?

‘’Accident..it was an accident’’ I lied with fear in my voice. Then I started getting lightheaded. I felt like I could just go to sleep for years. But I was also scared shitless now that J caught me. ‘’Don’t..lie’’ He tried to say as calmly as he could, but Joker wasn’t the best anger controller. I could tell that he was fucking disappointed in me. The way he spoke sent a shiver down my spine.

I fucked up.

‘’I’m not lying’’ I whispered with tears in my throat. Suddenly I felt like I could sit on the floor all night. I ignored eye contact and I focused on breathing. In and out.. in and out..

Joker growled something under his breath and I could tell that he struggled to keep as calm as he was. Then he kneeled down in front of me, roughly grabbing the towel and then my arm. I had to bite my lips so I wouldn’t start whimpering when he pressed the towel on my cut, pressing it so the bleeding would stop. He faced down so I couldn’t see if he was super angry or sad. It honestly scared me a little bit.

‘’I swear I-I’ll clean up’’ I broke the silence, because it was killing me. Suddenly J raised his head so he could face me. His red lips were pulled into a thin line and there was a dark, perhaps dull twist in his icy eyes. I tried my best to look into his eyes without crying, but it didn’t take long to fail. His silence was just awful because I knew what he was thinking, what he was doing. 

Tears blurred my vision and before I knew it they were rolling down my face. My body started trembling and then I sobbed quietly. Why wasn’t he speaking to me? ‘’Why?’’ I finally heard his voice. Now he sounded both angry and somber. I covered my  eyes with my other hand and I tried to wipe away my tears, but I couldn’t stop crying. It’s like all my feelings I had kept inside wanted to burst out. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to explain it to someone who could react in ways I couldn’t imagine. Even tho he was my boyfriend..

Joker did the unexpected. He scooted right next to me and pulled me closer to him by wrapping his strong arms around me. I leaned against his chest. Soon after he started comforting me the best he could, which was a lot coming from him. J ran his fingers up and down my back, slowly, but so I felt his presence. Then he let me cry. I felt like a kid, crying wildly before it could speak. That was exactly my situation.

‘’What made you do this?’’ He asked me with a raspy voice when I calmed down a little bit. I grabbed the towel hard and I tried to take a deep breath. I had nothing to lose anyway so I could tell him anything. ‘’My thoughts’’ I started with a small voice. I had to tell him, because knowing J he wouldn’t let me off the hook until I told him the truth and if there was a person behind something. Once a guy yelled at me in the club because I apparently bumped into him, ruining his outfit with a drink. J shot the guy in the head, just like that.

‘’My thoughts are so mean to me, it’s like I have a bully in my head’’ I tried to explain something. Then I sniffled and blinked a couple tears away. J played with my hair and let me continue. So I simply told him anything that came to my mind. I told him about my past, my bad childhood, stupid exes and how the voices in my head seemed to get louder and more cruel. Everything.

‘’I just feel so worthless, like you’ll dump me soon and then I’ll have nothing’’ I whispered, partly hoping that he couldn’t hear that part. Suddenly he stopped playing with my hair, making me nervous. I hadn’t looked up to him while talking so I didn’t know his mood. I turned a little so I could look at his face. He seemed surprisingly sad. His red lips were parted a little bit and his eyes were very tedious. First he looked into my eyes, then my tearstained cheeks and my wrist where his eyes stayed. 

A wave of guilt slapped my face. I made him look so sad. It’s all my fault..

‘’Why haven’t you told me anything before?’’ He wanted to know, this time being the one avoiding eye contact. My heart skipped a beat. I expected him to pull out his gun and put a bullet through me. ‘’Because I didn’t want to bother you J. I-I didn’t want to seem weak’’ I explained myself carefully. J shut his mouth and looked at me again. Then he put his big hand on my cheek, gently. ‘’You’re not weak baby. Damn..’’ He growled and tilted his head from side to side. He was probably debating inside his head whether he should sound harsh or try to stay calm.

‘’You took down a group of armed men by yourself, you managed to get a cold man like me to feel things. Remember when we met?’’ He questioned me with a deep and raspy voice. I nodded, wondering why he brought that up. ‘’You weren’t scared. While everyone else were down on the floor, scared for their lives, you stood out. You walked up to me and I could have shot you, but no. You were so brave. So you’re not weak. If you were weak, you’d be dead by now’’ He told me very honestly without sugarcoats.

‘’But you must promise me something, and I’m not letting you break that promise’’ He warned me seriously. I knew what he would say, but I still waited. ‘’Don’t ever, I mean never ever do this to yourself again’’ He tried to make a deal. The tone in his voice was harsh and I knew why. He wasn’t playing around. ‘’I promise’’ I sighed and faced down, feeling ashamed. I couldn’t do anything right.

J touched my jaw and made me look at him. ‘’I trust you kitten, I really hope you can keep it. The next time you feel this way, speak to me. We can either talk and be like normal people, or go and find a toy to torture. You don’t have to hurt yourself when there’s plenty of people around’’ He suggested  seriously with a small smile. The suggestion sure sounded more thrilling.

‘’I’m sorry J’’ I apologized and sighed. I knew I’d have a scar on my wrist to remind me of this whenever I saw it. ‘’Mmh’’ J breathed out and shut his eyes.I didn’t even want to picture what it would be like to find him in my shoes and me in his. If I ever saw J so broken, I’d break too. Did he feel the same way about me? Or was I in deeper than he was? I had no idea and I didn’t want to find out.

‘’Let’s clean you up’’ He declared after a while. Then he got up and helped me on my feet as well. After sitting down and bleeding for a while, standing made me lightheaded. J put his hands on my shoulders so I could let my blood flow and clear my head. ‘’Thanks’’ I murmured silently. Damn this crying made my head hurt.

‘’And just so you know, after a bath and sleep we’re going to find your old bullies and torture them’’ J let me know and then he started filling the tub. I looked at him, first without an expression but then the corners of my mouth carved into a wicked smile. He truly cared about me. ‘’I can’t wait’’ I replied and then the flame of revenge burnt down my misery, at least for the moment.

I’d make them suffer for ruining me..

anonymous asked:

'I promise you nothing had ever happened at that point' and something with laur pretty please? love you

“I promise you, nothing had ever happened at that point”

“How could you?” I asked, wiping the tears falling down away from my cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, I… We just started talking again, you know? We somehow got back to being friendly and it was so nice, because then there wouldn’t be any awkward moments for our friends and-“ Shawn stuttered through his words.

While saying them aloud, he realised there was really no excuse. He quickly wiped a single tear escaping his eyes away.

Keep reading

L$D

Jughead X Reader

Wordcount: 1,888 

Request:  Bit of a different request, but could you do something where Jughead is helping the reader recover from past substance abuse and addiction?

Warnings: Mentions on substance abuse, swearing, angst 

A/N: This issue is very personal to home with me, that’s why I’m writing it. Last year I lost a friend due to substance abuse, and many of my friends take drugs recreationally and have become addicted, so I’ve dealt with addiction first-handedly. I’ve seen the way this has affected them and it’s not a pretty sight. There is plenty of support out there if anyone ever needs to speak to someone about substance abuse. My inbox is always open if anyone wants a chat…Even if it isn’t about substance abuse. 

Keep reading

Frozen Like Ice // Archie Andrews

Do you remember when we saw previews for riverdale and there was that scene that showed Archie frantically searching in the snow/ice? (Idk if they’ve shown that yet- I’m sadly VERY behind in Riverdale) but anyway, I was just wondering if you could do angsty Archie x reader based off that. Basically anything angsty where Archie is worried about reader/reader is hurt or missing or something is fine idk.Your writing is AMAZING all the love thanks ❤❤❤

I liked how this one turned out. Also thank you again for following my blog of imagines. The only reason I really started this is because I knew how it felt to wait for a request for months on end or it never happening, and I wanted to be a little different. I didn’t expect to love it and connect with people around the globe. Thank you again and enjoy this one!


***


‘Y/N, you’re not going and that’s final!’

I knew deep down there was something more to Jason’s murder, but Archie being a protective boyfriend, wouldn’t let me go and investigate near the lake where Jason was last seen. It had snowed heavily in the past few weeks, but it wasn’t the worst I’d seen in the past years.

‘What if you come with me? We can look together. It’ll be like…a date, but add in murder mystery to make it spontaneous.’ I suggested, which was followed by a glare from Archie.

‘Neither of us are going, Y/N. It’s too dangerous and I don’t want something to happen to you.’ He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together whilst we walked down the school hallway. I sighed, throwing my head back.

‘Archibald, I love you, but, I can do this. I could find something that could crack this case wide open and we can finally get answers.’ I argued, giving him a small smile that usually changes his mind.

‘No,’ he pointed at me and shook his head, ‘no “cute smile” that changes my mind, not this time. You’re not going to Sweet Water and that’s because I love you.’ I groaned, crossing my arms over my chest. ‘Don’t pout about it, alright?’

I glared at him, raising my eyebrow. ‘Whatever. Fine, I won’t go.’ I raised my hands up in surrender. He pecked my forehead, then my cheek.

‘Thank you, just this once Y/N.’ He smiled. The bell echoed throughout the hallway, making me give Archie a quick peck on the lips.

‘I’ll see you later.’ I smiled, walking away from him down the hallway.

I knew he was going to hate me for doing it, but I needed answers.

And I was going to Sweet Water River.

**

I shivered, the snow being so cold and frozen. I trudged my way through the woods, looking around to see anything that could help us in the case. I knew I was completely going against Archie by doing this, but I needed to know and I wouldn’t stop till I found something.


ARCHIE’S P.O.V


I was sitting in Pop’s with Jughead, Betty and Ronnie, waiting for Y/N to show up. She promised that she would make it tonight. I checked the time on my phone, sighing in annoyance since she was 20 minutes late.

‘Archie, relax,’ Betty spoke up, ‘she’ll be here. Maybe she got caught up with her parents or school work?’

‘No, she’s done all of her homework and her parents know we come here every Friday night…something not right about this.’ I sat back further in the booth, feeling the frustration building up of where she could be.

‘Did she say anything else to you today that could suggest something else?’ Jughead asked, taking a bite of his burger.

My eyes widened, a light bulb going off in my head. ‘She went against what I said…’ I muttered, putting my letterman back on and standing up.

‘What? Archie, what is it?’ Ronnie asked, standing up with me.

‘She’s gone looking for clues at Sweet Water. Guys – she could be in serious trouble…’ I panicked, walking towards the exit of Pop’s.

‘Wait – we’re coming with you!’ Betty called out, my three friends following me.

Y/N, you just can’t help yourself, can you?


Y/N’s P.O.V


I ducked under another fallen tree, almost finding the place where Jason was last scene by Cheryl near the river. I looked around, seeing it was slowly starting to become dark. Okay, Y/N, 10 minutes then you go to Pop’s and play off that you didn’t completely disregard your boyfriend and went searching on your own accord, even though he told you no.

I squinted my eyes at one of the trees, seeing something carved into it. I moved closer near the tree which was just on the edge of the river, standing on one of the visible roots to see it clearer. I panted a little, looking up at the carving to see the initials on the tree being “J.B ❤ P.C”. I chuckled, nodding my head. I knew he loved her.

I heard a loud bang as I turned my head of where the noise came from as I felt my balance go, falling backwards into the snow behind me, little knowing it was apart of the river behind me. I let out and ear piercing scream, feeling the impact of the cold, icy water. The cold water made me instantly numb, no feeling in the bottom half of my body. 

‘Y/N!’

I recognised that voice, and I knew I was in trouble now, but I needed him. ‘Archie!’ I screamed, feeling body sinking through the snow into the cold water below it. ‘Archie!’ I screamed louder, feeling my voice crack.

I could feel my body sinking further, finding nothing to grab hold of to pull me up. ‘Archie! Help!’

‘I’m coming! Just hold on!’ Archie exclaimed, desperation in his voice. My teeth chattered, feeling my hands beginning to shake. I was going to drown. This was it.

‘Y/N! Where are you?!’ Archie called out, closer then before.

‘I’m here! Arch! I’m sinking, I can’t pull myself up!’ I felt the snow starting to slowly cave in on me, blocking me from any view of Archie being able to find me. ‘The snows caving in, Archie!’

‘Where are you!?’ He repeated again.

‘Near the tree…near the river!’ I called out as loud as I could, feeling my body slowly starting to shut down from the cold water.

I could hear the steps coming closer and stopping, before I could see Archie digging his way through the snow. He looked down frantically at me, grabbing me by the jacket, hooking his arms underneath mine, pulling me up and out of the water. ‘It’s alright babe, I’ve got you…’ He mumbled, pulling me towards his chest, making sure I was completely out.

I was shivering and hyperventilating of the fear I was going to drown. Archie wrapped his letterman jacket around me, trying to keep me warm as he picked me up bridal style, holding me close to his chest.

‘It’s okay, you’re okay…’ Archie muttered more so to himself as he walked past Jug, Ronnie and Betty. Betty’s hand flew to her mouth in shock of my state. Was I that bad?

‘We gotta get her to a hospital, Arch.’ Ronnie stared down at me, not looking anywhere else.

‘We can’t, she’ll get questioned why she was out here in the first place. We’ll take her to my house.’

I felt my eyes drooping shut, feeling darkness consume my sights before I could hear another word.

**

I opened my eyes to no longer feeling cold or wet, but warm and safe. I looked around my surroundings to see it was Archie’s room and I was laying on his bed. I looked up to see him sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at me with worry.

‘Before you look at me like that, I wanna make you feel better by saying you where right and I was wrong…I’m sorry that I went behind your back. I just – I finally got the answer I wanted though. He loved her, Arch.’ I whispered. He moved closer to me, leaning down and kissing my slightly cold lips. I smiled, resting my hand on his cheek. I pulled away, resting my head against his. ‘Can you yell at me tomorrow? Please?’

‘Okay.’ He answered, laying down next to me as he hugged me into his chest, running his fingers through my hair as I felt my eyes close once more, feeling safe in the arms of my protective boyfriend.

Tags: @sweetvengeancee @sweetwater-cheryl @sunshine51879 @phanofmydreams @mrsjugheadjonesthethird @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @mistaken-destiny @doctorwhoandrory 

May the bridges I burn
light the goddamn
way to my happiness.

You were never gentle
or caring.
You were a fucking whirlwind
of bullshit advice and false
feelings.
You killed pieces of myself
that I was too naïve to even understand.
I viewed you as a god.
Aphrodite, or Athena.
In reality, you were only a girl
who was trying just as hard
as I was to find a fucking
reason to stay alive.
You were full of big words
and enchanting views of the universe
and philosophical opinions of why we are even here.
But you were hurting,
too.
God, when I stopped viewing you on a damn pedestal,
everything became clearer.
It was like I was taking pills that made my vision
so blurry, but then someone finally
turned on the lights.
Idealizing people is not healthy.
You were not healthy.

I threw a match,
and I can feel the fucking heat.

—  burning bridges // m.t.
  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: MERLIN ENDED 4 YEARS AGO AND I REALLY WANT A REUNION BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL BECAUSE THE ENDING MADE ME NUMB. I COULDN'T EVEN SHED A TEAR. I PROBABLY WILL WHEN I WATCH IT FOR A SECOND TIME
Bruises- Pt. 2 (A Peter Pevensie Fanfiction)

(A/N) Here is the second chapter! Warning: Although there is no graphic description, there is definitely heavily implied rape and abuse (from an antagonist). 

Also, these gifs belong to @omginutilidades who is an awesome gif maker!

If you’d like to read the first chapter, here it is. 

Tagging @imaginesandoneshotsandothershit upon request. :) Thank for the encouragement!

I hope it’s okay! Here we go!


The day was a quiet enough one.

The head cook, Mrs. Dolie, had taken a liking to me, and she would sometimes steal me away to run errands for her. Getting out and about was a rare specialty for us maids, so I always jumped at the opportunity.

That particular day, she needed some extra flour, yeast, and produce, so she sent me to the market. Normally, such baking necessities were delivered directly to the castle, but when last minute run-outs happened, trips to the market were in due.

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“Why, you ask? It took away the pain because it made me so numb. Like being wrapped in a blanket while floating amidst the cushions of clouds. Numb in both body and mind. It stopped the clamour and made things quiet for a few hours. Peaceful and tranquil. It beckoned me whenever I felt the gloom set in. Seductive in the promise of taking away the pain. But i can’t go back. I mustn’t.”

~ @books-v-cigarettes

Yoongi’s Crush is Heart Broken

Part of the His Crush is Heart Broken

Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook

xoxo

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Say You’ll Want Me Pt. 7

Originally posted by smakager

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 

Part 7 is here! Only 2 parts left guys… we’re getting close to the end and I’m not sure I’m ready lol. Thanks again for all of your awesome feedback <3

Tags: @daintymissdevitt  @iloveenzoamore @ang-78 @legitlunatic @fan-fiction-galore @imaginingwwesuperstars @silverrawrs @tooweirdforlifex @darwarsnoam @alexispoo @shadow-of-wonder @mindsetcalamity @omgmissmillie @skyrina @lifeoutofcontrol @laigy2213 @bulletbaybay @thedeboniardevistation @doitwithcole @helluvawriter @allgirlswrestlingclub @sarahmatthews7 @waynscastle @jazzytoosweet @mermaidfett @laziestgirlintheworld @alexahood21 @thathpchick @valeonmars @xxmaddhatter39xx @mrlooch @laochbaineann @fearlessflawlessdior @jenn0755 @wrasslin-x @megan-monroe @brooklyns-scumbag @phlebotomyprincess1 @rollinstrash @squirrel666 @effy-christine @wweximaginesxd @pjanina13 @awkward-potato-imagines @persephone93 @zombiexbody @fandom-preferences-imagines @superkixbaybay @veewizardofodd @lionpotter 

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Same Old Four Walls (Jace x Reader)

 Request: Hi sweetheart! Can you do a Jace wayland one shot based on “these four walls” by little mix? Can it be in his pov with an happy ending? (I know the song is really sad, but I would really like an happy ending) :)

A/N: Not really a happy ending as I didn’t see how it would fit.

Based off of “These Four Walls” By Little Mix

I feel so numb
Staring at the shower wall
It’s begun,
The feeling that the end has come
And now the water’s cold


I stared at the wall for what felt like hours now, I couldn’t breath and somehow the shower seemed to help. The water droplets hit my face as I try not to cry. The pain was over powering everything in my body and the ice cold water just helped it all fade away for a while. It made me feel numb, it was the only thing I wanted to feel at this point. Everything else was a reminder of her. Of us.

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I know that apart of me still lives within you and sometimes sadness touches you at your happiest moments.

I know that all our memories still replay in your mind and sometimes memories of our love engulf you, it suffocates you.

I know that there are nights when you become restless and insomnia never felt more better than sleeping.

I know that there are days when you are happy, so happy in fact that you forget the pain. You remind yourself that the moon will still rise and the sun will still set in the morning.

You choke on air and unhealthy lungs, you had never missed pain before until you met me. You missed it because until you met me you felt comfortable with the thing that once made you numb and I confused you with unfamiliar feelings you had once tucked away

and that was LOVE