it looks nice on my wall

Headcanon:

When Harry gets his first place after Hogwarts that actually has more than one floor, he comes home after getting a load of boxes to find Hermione using a sledgehammer on the drywall beneath the stairs. And Ron’s like, “Look, mate, I borrowed this stuff from my dad, I’ve got a DRILL and a - what’s it called again, Hermione?” “A stud finder.” “Right, one of those, and we’re going to fix your stairs.” Harry’s like, “But there’s nothing wrong with them.” “Yes, Harry, there is.” Harry’s just sort of standing there in total bewilderment while Hermione totally demolishes the wall. “We couldn’t have done that with magic?” “No, Harry, this is personal. You two take this mess out to the skip.” And then Harry stands around a while longer and Hermione puts in support beams in the appropriate places so the stairs don’t fall in, and Ron’s very excited about using the stud finder even though Hermione won’t let him use the drill. When they’re finished, Harry has this set of shelves. So he says, still completely confused, “I thought we picked this place because it had loads of storage.” And Hermione says, “Go get some of my books. I know it’s just shelves, but it’s not a bloody cupboard.”

And every time Harry moves for the rest of his life, Ron and Hermione are there on moving day and they knock out anything under the stairs, even if it’s just a wall. Hermione reads a lot of books. Ron learns to use a miter saw and a carpenter’s square and practices the nail hammering spell until he can do it perfectly on the first try. And sometimes it isn’t very practical but it looks nice…

And sometimes, when they all get older and have children, it’s cozy and has a purpose…

And eventually Hermione gets the trick of there being nothing under the stairs at all

Which is the story of how Harry Potter never lived in a house with a cupboard under the stairs again for the entire rest of his life.

2

Anonymous said : “you should draw eto! If you feel like it. I LOVE your art and i would frame it on my wall if I could. I hope you have a nice day! :)

Eto with short hair for you ! ! (And wah thank you..♡!!!)

“Any message for all your fans that couldn’t come here today?”

Humans are space orcs

I don’t know if this one has been done, but I love the humans are space orcs tags. Humans are super influenced by things around us. Colors, smells, sounds and designs can make us go from happy and productive to agitated and morale sucking with the wrong combination of any of these.

________________________________________________________________

Xa’thyn: Human Kara why will you not go to the infirmary if you are sick?

Kara wipes her nose on the edge of her uniform: It’s just a cold, and the infirmary makes it worse!

Xa’thyn: Receiving medicine will worsen your sickness!?!

Kara walking away: Well no, but like, the lights give me a headache and whatever you guys use to serialize the Infirmary makes my eyes water and I want to rip my nose off

Xa’thyn quickly catalogs this new info with the captain and applies for a human habitat specialist to come in and fix this oversight.

________________________________________________________________

Xa’thyn nervously clicking behind the comm desk: Human Ben… You have not yet taken your usual *Bathroom break*

Ben leaning back in his new office chair: Haha, ‘Thyn my man, I was taking double the bathroom breaks because the old chair was slowly killing me

Xa’thyn waving his 6 arms in the air and clicking wildly rushes to his favorite human: Human Ben! How could you have not told me!?!?! 

Ben: No! Chill dude, it was just not built for prolonged human sitting. So, sitting there hurt my back and sh*t, so I had to get up and walk around. This new one is perfect! Plus I got my music device approved so I can just plug in and just FOCUS. You know?

Xa’thyn was unaware humans could plug into anything, still he rolled his whole body in the Genri version of a nod.

________________________________________________________________

Kara, Ben and Xa’thyn discussing which deck cafeteria to eat at

Kara: Anywhere except deck 5! The faces on the wall kinda kill my appetite!

Xa’thyn: Are you feeling quite well Human Kara?

Kara exchanging glances with Ben: uh… yeah?

Xa’thyn: Do you need to go to the newly renovated infirmary? You are seeing things! There are no faces on the wall on deck 5…

Ben: No, Dude, it’s a human thing, we tend to project images that we know onto other things. We know that there aren’t really faces on the walls, but the weird texture on there kinda looks like faces if you focus.

Ben turns to Kara: I say we go with deck 8. I know it’s mostly Quasiri food, but it smells just like my abuelita’s kitchen, makes me the nice kinda home sick.

Xa’thyn falls slightly behind his human friends. One talon scratched his left pincher in confusion. Maybe he will never understand humans!

anonymous asked:

More midoriya and kirishima friendship theory please !!! How do you think mido and kiri relationship would effect the storyline , talk more about those two pretty pleaaaaaaaase!!!!!

Midoriya and Kirishima’s Friendship

I love Midoriya and Kirishima’s friendship. I know their relationship isn’t prominent, but they have a healthy and solid friendship that’s often overlooked. I don’t have a specific theory on it, but I’ll talk about it. 

Midoriya and Kirishima have had a decent relationship from the start. 

While Midoriya is against Bakugou during the Heroes vs.Villains exercise, Kirishima is concerned for Midoriya’s well-being.

Even though running away isn’t manly to Kirishima, Kirishima understands why Midoriya has to run away while fighting against Bakugou. 

Kirishima really starts to respect Midoriya after he beats Bakugou during the Heroes vs. Villains exercise. Kirishima is one of the first classmates besides Iida and Uraraka to befriend Midoriya. 

Kirishima thinks so highly of Midoriya that he’s fine with Midoriya being student council class president even after it’s proven Iida should be class president. 

Midoriya and Kirishima both like each other’s Quirks and find each other’s Quirks to be very useful. 

Kirishima keeps a watchful eye on Midoriya after All Might’s Fight with noumu. 

And even runs over to make sure Midoriya is okay even though Kirishima should be heading out of the USJ right now. 

Kirishima tries to protect Midoriya when it looks like Todoroki is being hostile towards Kirishima before the Sports Festival.

Not only does Kirishima think highly of Midoriya, but Midoriya thinks highly of Kirishima as well. Midoriya thinks Kirishima is very cool.

Kirishima understands the pain Midoriya feels for not being able to reach out and rescue Bakugou. The two of them relate to not being able to do anything to help Bakugou. 

Kirishima uses this understanding to successfully convince Midoriya to help him rescue Bakugou.

Midoriya and Kirishima are such good pals, that Kirishima gives Midoriya advice on how to act like a thug. XD

Kirishima notices that Midoriya’s mumbling habit has toned down lately and makes an observation when the habit suddenly comes back 

Midoriya understands Kirishima, particularly his relationship with Bakugou, well enough that he uses that understanding to rescue Bakugou. He knows Kirishima would be the only one who can reach out and rescue Bakugou. He understands how important Kirishima is. 

Midoriya’s understanding of Bakugou and Kirishima is correct. Kirishima can reach out to rescue Bakugou. 

They’re both pretty good friends throughout the series even though the relationship isn’t a huge deal. It’s very mutual, nice, simple, and drama-free.

They get a lot of meaningful interactions during the Internship Arc. I’d argue their relationship gets a lot of development and importance. Kirishima is Midoriya’s number one supporter during that arc and loves how pumped up Midoriya has been. 

As I said before, Kirishima is such a Midoriya supporter and raises Midoriya’s spirits. 

They work really well together. 

Also, Midoriya singles out Kirishima as someone he could share his problems with specifically. He specifically says he can’t talk to “Kirishima and the others” about his problems, implying Kirishima would be one of the first people Midoriya would turn to in order to talk about his issues. 

Midoriya and Kirishima both have heroic spirits. They both want to help people and both can relate to not being able to help others. They can certainly bond over that. 

 Their friendship makes sense since they both have similar values and are nice people. They both look up to each other and both work well together. They did well together while rescuing Bakugou and breaking down walls. I hope Midoriya and Kirishima talk more and team up more. They’ll probably both face hardships, fight tough bad guys, and get injured during the Internship Arc, and that will help them grow and bond together. That’s the closest thing I have to a theory on their relationship.

(I have such a love/hate relationship with this Ask. I loved making it, but when I was done making a long answer to this ask, I accidentally deleted my answer and had to redo the whole LONG answer again. I was tempted to just give up answering this Ask. Thank god I finished it.)

Phil’s Liveshow // 5.28.17

He’s wearing his Star Wars shirt

Hes still mildly jetlagged

“Wake up Phil” “Actually wake up now” “Oh my god Phil” 

He feels like a withered cactus

His houseplants survived 

He thought he was going to turn into an American because they were in Florida for so long

The black wall is consuming his hair he looks bald

He didn’t have pancakes at Playlist because room service didn’t have any

Pancake shakes

He did finally get them though

Dan’s Bahamas experience 

Phil and bald guy at security had some proper bants

Heatwave jingle

He’s a 23 degrees kind guy

His frecks are dense 

He burped

Dig Down is growing on him (nice but not his fave)

They were going to see Muse in Orlando but ended up not

They got loads of stuff at Playlist 

His dad is an artist but that didn’t get passed down to him

NASA haul

His mug broke in his suitcase #rip

Dan got a mug too though so he can steal Dan’s

He also bought Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue sauce ??

And stuff from Bath and Body Works

Aloha beaches

He didn’t love Split

Him and Dan didn’t fly back together and he almost had to sit next to an old French woman

“Clean us daddy”

Returning to the place of the squirrel incident was symbolic 

“Too much maple syrup in that blood”

He found ASMR very enlightening

He got locked outside and Dan didn’t let him in what a bitch

A paperboy laughed at him locked out of the house

He didn’t think throwing newspaper boys were an actual thing

He’s usually really bad at prank but the banana one was pretty good

New anime themed video with Shawna on his channel this week if you’re interested in that or whatever lmao

“Headline: I love space”

He was enthralled with his Superman ice cream

Martyn is a troll don’t trust him in a kayak

He’s hyped for Vidcon

He was talking to Dan about making noises when someone did something wrong at school 

Where does it come where does it go 

His family all watched Eurovision together 

He couldn’t handle himself in a prank war

Everyone is getting dogs 

Riverdale graph 

He has a full box of Haribo that he’s going to try make last until next week

Next liveshow may be on Sunday watch his twitter from updates

Dan and Phil shop newsletters will be out soon

He’s missed doing liveshows this has been very nice

Ode to Broken Mug

Goodbye

Mentions of Dan: ||||| ||||| ||||

i was cute today✨

Identity Theft

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Request: “63 and 67 separately jughead x reader please if its too much then could you just do 67 thank you”

Prompt:
#67 “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”

Warnings: I think there’s more than one curse in this one? Also allusions to sex but no actual sex because I’m innocent

A/N: I didn’t want this to get sexual like it did but OOPS I guess I’m just really thirsty lately

Tag list: @1amluke, @betty-coopers-number-one-stan, @keepcalmandflywithtoothless, @lostinpercyseyes, @captainsuperfangirl

Keep reading

HOW I FIND POT’S ON TINDER (AND BUMBLE)

Alright, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about my luck on Tinder so here is what I do to attract wealthier men on Tinder.

PHOTOS

have 5 photos on my profile, 2 being well lit face shots of me wearing natural or minimalistic amounts of makeup. the amount to wear is completely up to you but I prefer to keep it fresh faced. the other 3 of my photos are full body pictures of me wearing various outfits in different locations. The first is of me at a more formal event, wearing a little black dress and heels; you can clearly see the fancy venue behind me. Second picture is on the terrace of a hotel room, I’m in a bikini facing away from the camera and looking at the sunset in the back round. Last photo is me in Bora Bora, sitting under a fern tree in a bikini, looking at straight at the camera and smiling.

   I used these photos in particular because as a whole, they display the lifestyle I’m accustomed to living, and therefore attracts people who are capable and willing tp uphold and expand that lifestyle, but I know what you’re thinking

BUT I DONT HAVE PICS OF ME AT FANCY EVENTS AND EXOTIC LOCATIONS? HOW WILL I STILL CONVEY THE SAME MESSAGE?

my answer is; fake that shit girl

get dressed up, find a plain wall or a wall with nice décor on it, and have someone take photos of you, if you’re ever anywhere with a nice view, have someone take a photo with the view in the back (try not to get any unwanted stragglers in the back)

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT UPLOAD SELFIES USING THOSE FUCKING SNAPCHAT FILTERS! (this goes for SA too)

I have been on so many POT dates where men have flat out told me that the reason they liked my profile so much is because of the complete lack of snapchat filter bullshit, newsflash sweetheart, they want to see your actual face. not you as a dog, not you with silver eyes and a flower crown, and not you in some weird greenish filter that contours your face and blurs your crowsfeet. That shit might be cute if you’re looking for an unemployed, basement dwelling 22 year old, but not when you’re trying to attract a successful business man.

STOP IT


TINDER BIO

you guys are about to be extremely disappointed……

I keep it minimal

first of all I NEVER EVER EVER put the phrase “sugar baby” or “sugar daddy” in my bio, I don’t know I personally find it tacky. I also don’t say anything about wanting something “mutually beneficial” because I let my photos do the talking. I stick to 4 simple little bullet points saying that I’m well traveled, a  fine wine and sushi enthusiast , and how many counties I visited in 2016 (this can easily be substituted by something else that’s more personally fitted) and then at the bottom a simple “Show me the rest of the world?” BOOM I immediately have an inbox weeded of salts (they’ll still appear though, but I’m positive that my profile does shoo some of them away) and instead I’m left with potential daddies and splendas.


THE ART OF SWIPING RIGHT

I look for men, who have similar profiles as my own;

- well dressed

- exotic/expensive location

-well groomed

-well spoken

-traveler

I know some men have their jobs in the description of their profiles, I sway towards CEO’s and entrepreneurs (they could be lying so don’t get your hopes too high)

as for my age range, mine goes from 36 to 55+, most POT are over the age of 40 but I shaved a few years off because I’ve seen that some men in their 40′s will lie and say they’re 37-39

Mr. Shark

“Peter is a child.” Tony hisses into the phone. He’s keeping one eye on the kid from where he is standing, not hiding just standing, around the corner.

“He’s normally a child Tony, what’s your point?” Rhodey asks, Tony can hear him yawning over the line.

“Yes, he’s normally like 14 though not 4.” Tony is definitely not screeching in distress. “Normally he is my height, not this tiny thing.”

“What?” Rhodey asks, and he sounds more awake now.

“I don’t know, Friday says it’s Peter, but he’s like 2.” Tony peeks out to see Peter trying to pull himself onto the couch, he gets a wave and a gap-toothed grin.

“I thought he was 4.” Rhodey points out, and it sounds like he’s laughing at Tony.

“I don’t know what age he is, he’s small Rhodey. I need help, please come help me with the spider kid.” He pleads, waving back at Peter. Peter starts to toddle towards him.

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning.” Rhodey grumbles, and the dial tone sounds in his ear. Tony’s eyes are wide with fear when Peter bumps into his leg.

“Tomorrow morning?” His voice is little more than a squeak.

“That is what he said boss.” Friday replies, she sounds smug.

“Okay, hi Peter.” Tony greets crouching down next to the kid. “I’m Tony Stark.” He holds out his hand to the little guy.

“Hi!” Peter shouts, grabbing onto his hands. “I like your bobots.” He holds out his arms in the normal kid gesture for pick me up, and Tony does, hefting the kid onto his hip.

“Really, which of my robots is your favorite?” He asks, bouncing a little. Peter squeals excitedly.

“I like the nice wall lady, and the dumb rolly robot, but my favorite is suit lady.” He informs Tony, nodding excitedly. “She’s nice.” Tony laughs.

“She is, isn’t she? You know I think you are her favorite human too.” He pokes Peter’s nose for emphasis. Peter giggles, grabbing onto his glasses with one hand, and yanking them off his face. “Ow.” Tony winces, and the glasses snap in half, apparently the little spider still has some super strength.

“Oh no.” His eye’s go wide and glossy and he looks up at Tony. “Please no mad. I didn’t mean to Mr. Shark.” Tony is trying very hard not to look like he wants to cry. “Please don’t leave.” Peter sniffles.

“I’m not leaving Peter, I’m right here. The glasses are dumb anyways.” He takes what’s left of them from Peter and drops them in the garbage. “See all gone.”

“No gone. I broke the boat and you were gone, no leaving now.” Peter insists, clutching at Tony’s shirt. Tony drops onto the couch, he needs to look put together for the kid, but his heart feels like it’s breaking in his chest. He gave Peter abandonment issues. He was trying to break the cycle, and he failed. Gesturing with his left arm for Dum-E to come over, he tries to soothe the kid.

“I’m so sorry Peter. I shouldn’t have left you then, and I won’t leave you now. I promise.” He pats Peter’s pack in an attempt to be comforting. Dum-E rolls over, blanket clutched in his claw.

“Pinky promise?” Peter asks, holding up his pinky.

“Pinky promise.” Tony links his pinky with Peter’s just as Dum-E drops a blanket onto both of their heads. “Thanks Dum-E.” Tony grumbles, it makes Peter giggle so Tony will consider it a success.

“You’re not mad?” Peter asks.

“Nah those glasses were dumb anyways. I’m much prettier without them.” Tony informs him. Peter reaches out, grubby fingers poking at Tony’s cheeks.

“Your eye is dark under. Aunt May says it’s a bag but that doesn’t make any sense.” Peter informs him. “You put things in bags.” He informs Tony.

“I do not have bags under my eyes.” Tony insists. Peter looks as unconvinced as a four-year-old can. “I get a healthy amount of sleep.”

“Mr. Shark, you don’t sleep, ever.” Peter points out, and Tony doesn’t really have an argument, and he doesn’t really want to correct Peter’s pronunciation of Stark, so it’s time to change the topic.

“Friday, how long until Rhodey gets here?”  He asks.

“Based on his flight plan, he should arrive at the building in approximately 10 hours.”  Friday replies. Tony tries not to look absolutely horrified.

“I’m going to die.” He whispers, Peter pats his cheek comfortingly.

“Don’t worry Mr. Shark, I protect you.” Peter assures him, it’s the cutest thing Tony has ever seen and he’s going to wrap this kid in bubble wrap and never let him outside into the dangerous world ever again.

Trans* Guide to (Socially) Navigating the Gym

This is a newcomer’s guide to the gym from a social perspective, focused on the trans* experience. This is not a workout program.

This guide draws upon my own FTM experiences, feel free to add your own experiences.

Disclaimer: I live in a diverse city and go to a left-leaning university. My circumstances could be drastically different from yours. Use your best judgement.

The Locker Room

  • Bring a friend (who you’re out to) along, they can affirm or stand up for your identity if anyone questions your presence.
  • Rarely is anyone looking at you while changing, especially in male locker rooms. Find a nice little corner and face the walls, or go to a stall to change. You’d be surprised at how many cis people do the same. I’ve changed tshirts in the locker room while wearing a binder tank after 4 months on T without any problems.
  • You can also try changing in a bathroom that has less traffic first, then walk to the gym. If the weather is cold, wear a hoodie or sweats on top, then take it off at the gym.
  • Avoid going at peak hours if you are uncomfortable, it is more likely that you’ll have to change in close proximity with others.
  • Avoid changing next to old people. They are very comfortable nude and will strike up conversations randomly.
  • I have never showered at the gym, but bring a towel to dry off my sweat, and deodorant to keep the scents fresh.
  • I find boxers to be easier than boxer briefs. If I’m wearing briefs, I either pack, or find a really good corner without people. Packing is personally uncomfortable after a especially hard session, due to shifting and sweating. Boxers sort of hide everything, and I feel comfortable standing in them for a bit to cool off.

The Gym (mostly the weight room)

  • You are NOT the only person who doesn’t know how every equipment works. You can:
    • Ask a staff for help
    • Watch YouTube before your workout. I sometimes pull up exercise videos during my workout to check how a machine works because I’m too introverted.
  • If you don’t like to talk to other people and want to avoid chit-chats:
    • Stare at the equipment as if you’re formulating your workout plan
    • Bring headphones.
  • If someone is at an equipment you want to use, you can ask them “how many sets do you have left”, which means how many more repeats of the exercise they will be doing. A common etiquette is to let you use the machine right after, if you’re hanging around. Be courteous and give the other person room to finish their workout.
  • Don’t walk between mirrors and the people training in front of it.
  • It’s ok to not like looking in your image in the mirror if it triggers dysphoria, but still try to make sure you are performing the exercises correctly by bringing a friend along to form check.

Remember:

  • You are not weak. Everyone starts somewhere. The huge guy in the corner? He was once a lanky teenager. It takes immense dedication and discipline to reach the level you see in the media.
Lover Boy | Jeff Atkins

Requested by @cra-zy-vib-ess14 this one is for you! I had a lot of fun doing this and it came pretty naturally that I even wrote it the same day I got the requested, you lucky duck haha! Anyway I hope you enjoy, and everyone else who reads this! Don’t be afraid to request something yourself but be aware writing takes time and you may not get your request answered asap. Thank you for reading and enjoy ♡

Warning: smut, public, rough

Originally posted by alcantara420

I sat next to Justin pointing out how he had done the math equation wrong by putting the x in the wrong spot, he groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up in frustration.

“Why is this so hard for me?” He mumbled mainly to himself, I guessed so I reassuringly patted his shoulder and said, “that’s what I’m here for, to help you get better and make this easier” I offer him a smile and he nods going back to his work.

I look around the library appreciating the quietness but I couldn’t help but feel that something was missing, I look at the desk that was usually occupied by Jeff and Clay and frowned as it was empty.

“Looking for your lover boy?” I heard Justin ask and without even looking at him I knew he had a smirk across on his lips.

I stop looking at the unoccupied desk and back at my hands on the table blushing “he isn’t my lover boy” I mumble in embarrassment.

“You wish he was though” Justin replied back with knowing tone in his voice, I looked at him and he had a small smile of his lips instead of his usual smirk “He wishes he was too” he added.

I look shocked as the words left his lips “what?” I asked confused.

“Jeff, he likes you too y/n” Justin explains now smirking at me, he softly pats my hand leaning in to say something else but then quickly pulled away, I give him a look of confusion but then notice him looking behind me.

I slowly turn and see Jeff angrily leaving the library, “what just happened?” I asked Justin concerned.

He laughs slowly closing his books “I think you better go after him, your lover boy may be jealous” I blush at the thought of Jeff getting jealous but listen to Justin leaving him to pack up his stuff and go home.

I walk outside of the library to an empty hallway, I turn a corner hoping to at least get a glimpse of Jeff but sadly I was just met with another deserted hallway “Jeff?” I call out wondering if he was even still here.

Looking intensely at the end of the corridor I didn’t notice a hand creep out of the boys’ locker room, I let out a muffled scream in an attempt to call out for help afraid one of my worst fears would be coming true as the person dragged me inside the locker room, but instead I was met with a familiar pair of blue eyes.

“Jeff” I whisper is relief, I let out an awkward chuckle “you scared me half to death” I admitted but then noticed the frustrated look painted on his face.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i know you're probably getting a lot of requests, but do you think you would be able to write about the weirdest greek myth ever, the birth of the Minotaur?

There are times when Hermes’s role as the messenger god weighs on him. Declaration of war have left his lips, the words he’s carried have ended whole countries and damned villages to a slow painful death. The secrets he carries tears at him, the horrors he’s had to face only so he could later tell of them, the warnings he repeats that are ignored and all he’s witnessed is for nothing, since it happens all over again in front of him.

There are times the news he brings that tears at him, eats at his soul like necrosis – the death of Kore, Poseidon destroying another seaside village, every whisper of Pandora, informing Ares of yet another war.

This –

– isn’t one of those times.

~

Aphrodite’s lovely face is slack with surprise. At her side Hephaestus rubs his chin and says, “That seems physically improbable.”

“How did she manage to not die?” Aphrodite demands, then says, “Wait, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

Hermes grins, and doesn’t bother to hide the complete delight he’s taking in this, “But my lady,  it is my sacred duty to tell you these things. When Queen Pasiphae ensnared Daedalus’s help to be mounted by the bull–”

She gives him a cross look and is gone in a powerful gust of wind, and he has to grab onto the volcano wall to keep from falling over.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Hephaestus says, off hand. It’s clear he’s still thinking of the mechanics of a human-bull hybrid.

“I’ve been accused of being many things,” Hermes says cheerfully, “nice is not among them.”

~

Artemis lounges in her tent with one of her huntress’s face between her thighs, inexperienced but eager, and she so does love taking on new women.

“Sister!” Apollo shouts, appearing at her side and glaring down at her. “Have you lost your mind?”

Her huntress startles and freezes, unsure whether to leave or continue. Artemis rolls her hips up, and the girl ignores the appearance of the sun god and continues with her task.

“Not that I know of,” she says, tilting her head up so she can look at her brother without altering her position, “Why do you ask?”

“Poseidon cursed a mortal queen to fall in love with a bull, and she gave birth to a bull headed monster today,” he crosses his arms and glares.

She swallows the laugh that bubbles up, but she must not be entirely successful because he starts tapping his foot. “Well, isn’t that interesting. I’m not sure what it has to do with me.”

“Sister dear, Artemis, patron goddess of childbirth,” he says with syrup thick sweetness, “why on earth did you bless that child? There’s no way it could have been born without your help. It had to have been you.”

Her huntress pauses again, and Artemis will answer her questions later. She squeezes her thighs about her ears, and the girl resumes. “Oh come on, don’t give me that look. This is hysterical. People are going to be talking about this for years.”

He considers this for a long moment, then uncrosses his arms, “Okay, you have a point.”

“I know. Now if you don’t mind, I’m a little busy,” she gestures to the huntress between her legs.

Apollo snorts, “Get a few more girls in here, and maybe I’ll consider that busy.”

He slips away, but Artemis’s eyes narrow. That sounds like a challenge.

The girl replaces her mouth with a hand and asks, “Should I gather the other huntresses, lady goddess?”

“I like you,” Artemis says, and the girl laughs, cheeks flushed and lips shiny.

~

Hermes appears in the middle of the garden of Hades’s palace, and blinks twice.

The queen of the underworld is half naked and on top of Amphitrite, and several things fall in place at once. “Is this why you don’t get upset with Hades for his affair with Hecate?”

“There is no affair with Hecate, you’re just an indiscriminate gossip,” Persephone retorts. “And if they were having an affair, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with Amphitrite.”

“Oh,” he says. He feels rather derailed from his original point. “I came here to–”

“If this is about the minotaur, we already heard about it,” she says, “You can go now.”

They’ve already heard about it! “From who?!” This is the best news in centuries, and this person is ruining it.

“Aphrodite,” Amphitrite says, “She’s cross with you.”

Oh, this is war.

~

Ares feels a shiver go down his spine, and looks across the battle field. People are dying around him, but people are always dying around him. He doesn’t see anything particularly horrendous, so he doesn’t know who could have invoked him so powerfully that he felt it.

A young woman who had shared the last piece of sweet bread with him last night gets a spear shoved straight through her chest, and Ares decides he has more important things to worry about.

~

Athena is halfway through a tapestry that is to hang in Hestia’s rooms when Aphrodite appears next to her and says cheerfully, “Guess what Poseidon did?”

Normally Athena would fling anyone who dare to disturb her to the depths of Tartarus, but she’s always willing to talk of Poseidon’s misdeeds. “I’m listening.”

Hermes appears on her other side, glaring. “You trollop.”

“He made a queen fall in love with a bull, and she just had the kid. It’s got a bull head.” Her sister’s smile is positively vicious.

“I’ll make you suffer,” Hermes hisses, and slips away. Aphrodite follows, the sounds of her laughter echoing in the room.

Athena blinks, looking back to her loom, but is unable to concentrate.

Even she hadn’t seen that one coming.

~

Hera doesn’t get involved, she does not have opinions, as a rule if it doesn’t concern her then it doesn’t concern her.

She waits for her husband to leave, and tries not to worry about his mutterings about bulls, the queen-mother Europa, and how Pasiphae had the right idea of it. She steps into the throne room, and the fire burns cheerful and bright in the center of it.

She sits beside it, and no sooner has she done so than Hestia appears at her side. “You’ve heard then?”

“Hermes told me,” she rubs at her temples.

“Aphrodite got to me first,” Hestia says, and the goddess of the hearth seems entirely too cheerful, “I can say, of all the misdeeds Poseidon has wrought, this one is certainly … unique.”

She slumps and buries her face in her hands, “This whole family is mad, and we’re doomed to only become worse.”

Hestia laughs and puts an arm around her shoulder, “Come now, I think Hades is quite reasonable.”

Hera shifts enough only so that she can glare, “Hades chose to rule the dead and married Kore. He’s the maddest of us all.”

Hestia can’t refute that, so she starts finger combing Hera’s long, curly hair. Hera slumps back into her hands, and Hestia’s smile is soft as they sit there in silence, the only noise that of the crackling fire.

~

When Hephaestus returns to the volcano, it’s to his wife sitting in his throne with her arms crossed. “What did you do?” she asks.

“I just gave him a little suggestion, is all,” he says, and scoops Aphrodite into his arms so that he may reclaim his throne. She snuggles into his side, and if she’s trying to convince him that she’s mad at him, she’s doing a terrible job of it. “Daedalus has always been a very devout follower; he deserves a few good ideas.”

“He’s had enough ideas,” she says, because without his help the queen wouldn’t have found a way to consummate her love of the bull, “I don’t think he needs anymore.”

“Maybe,” Hephaestus murmurs, dragging his nose up her temple, “but imagine this – a labyrinth, bigger than any other, than this whole volcano.”

“That’s nice, dear,” Aphrodite says, and then proves to be distracting enough that Hephaestus puts his ideas aside.

At least for a little while.


gods and monsters series, part xii

read more from the gods and monsters series here

It Wasn’t a Mistake

Pairing: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Words: 5487

Warnings: sin, fluff, angst?, blood

Author’s Note: I decided to write this to celebrate the trailer of American Assassin coming out and it was a fucking amazing trailer. Dyl looked so good. oml. I want to thank like all my friends for encouraging me that this is good! I wanna thank @dumbass-stilinski for looking it over, helping me with some parts, and just being amazing all around. You da best babe. I hope you guys enjoy!!

Originally posted by stydiaislove

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cryptidsanonymous  asked:

I just read everything in your gods and monsters series and wow I am in awe. I am absolutely blown away by your writing it's beautiful the Icarus one had me staring at a wall for ten minutes afterwards absorbing what I'd just read. anywhoozle, I love everything you've written and not to rush or pressure you or anything but I was wondering if perhaps we could get more of the greek mythology stories?

a continuation of this


Caeneus has only ever had two loves in his life.

First is the sea. He’s loved her his whole life, heard her siren song from the time he had long curly hair and still tolerated being put in dresses and called a girl. He loves the sea like his parents go to temple, in an unmovable and inexplicable way that he no longer questions.

Second is Poseidon. Foolish, but so achingly kind. He’s a man who professes his wish to master the sea without ever really understanding it, and Caeneus smiles and kisses the stress lines from his brow but does not worry.

The sea has never loved him back, and it never will. She is power and coldness and loss, and her beauty is in her tragedy. Poseidon is warmth and thoughtfulness and strong hands on his hips. He is nothing like the sea, and he will never rule it.

Caeneus knows this, and he’s relieved by it. Poseidon loves him back. Poseidon is not the sea.

Then he wakes up to his lover’s lips on his neck, cold enough that flinches away from the sensation, and for a terrifying moment he doesn’t recognize the person touching him as the man he loves.

“I can do it now,” he whispers, and cool fingers splay against his waist, “I can make you the man you want to be.”

Caeneus wants the body that men usually have, wants people to stop looking at him and seeing a woman. But if Poseidon had asked, he would have told him – Caeneus would choose his lover over a new body, would rather live as he does now than have Poseidon harm himself for his benefit.

But he did not ask, so Caeneus closes his eyes and accepts the gift his lover is so eager to give him.

~

Amphitrite has never had a heart before.

She was the sea, and what she desired, she took. Men, women – she wanted, and she had, and then she moved on.

But the heart in her chest is softer, warmer. It turns her pearl hued skin pink and makes her swim to the surface to watch the sun set, makes something like empathy stir inside her when before all she had was selfishness.

The heart in her chest is in love, and she thought it was something she could control, something she could stop. It’s not. It will be one day, when she masters this heart in her chest, but not yet. She spends hours following Caeneus as he sails her seas, guides fish into his net and feels her borrowed heart beat that much faster whenever he pears into the ocean and she catches sigh of his gorgeous amber eyes.

So she says to Poseidon, “You spend too much time on the shore for a god of the sea.”

He glances at her, and his eyes are green just like hers, are cold and uncaring just like hers used to be. She wonders what her eyes look like now. “Caeneus is on the shore.”

“Bring him here if you’re so concerned with your mortal,” she says, focusing on weaving shells into her hair and giving the impression that she couldn’t care less what he does with his mortal plaything. “The palace is big enough.”

He stops and turns to her, eyebrow raised. “You do not mind me bringing him here?”

“Do with your mortal as you wish,” she repeats, and stamps down on the trembling joy in her chest, “It’s no concern of mine.”

~

Caeneus doesn’t know how to love a god of the sea. He knew how to love Poseidon – take him onto the water to watch the sunrise, feed him warm, sweet drinks, and let him curl around him at night and listen to his stories of his siblings, of impossible gods who do impossible things.

But now he sits in a palace under water, with his own room and the freedom to see the other side of the ocean he loves so dearly. There are no sunsets here, no cocoa to barter for, and Poseidon doesn’t tell him stories any more.

Poseidon still loves him. He kisses him and holds his hips when they sleep together and keeps him by his side while he crosses the sea and gains more and more control over this domain that he now commands. Poseidon still loves him, he tells himself when he itches to return to the surface and the home Poseidon build for him, and the life he built for himself.

He didn’t want to be a consort of the king of sea. He just wanted to be Caeneus, a man who loved a man and was loved in return, a man who loved the sea even though it would never love him back.

The sea will never love him back. He’s known that since he was a child, so the real question is – how much of the Poseidon he knew is left, and how much of him the depths of the ocean?

~

There’s a hurricane that requires her husband’s attention, and even he is not so foolish as to bring his lover to a place as dangerous as that. Which means it’s the perfect time for her to run into him in the interior gardens, as he stares up through the iridescent seaweed to the rays of sunlight that just manage to penetrate the water. “Do you miss it?” she asks him, and he startles, swinging around to face her and stumbling away.

“My lady!” he says, and falls to his knees before her, bowing his head. It’s what she expects of all mortals, but not from him, never from him. The heart in her chest loves him, and if it’s not her heart, well – the rest of her doesn’t know the difference. “A thousand apologies.”

“You are welcome here,” she says, and smiles. She’s never smiled quite like this before, she’s never felt quite like this before, fond and fluttery and so painfully eager that it would be embarrassing if she ever dared articulate it. It’s a wonder Poseidon managed to get anything done at all if this is what he had in his chest.

He looks up, hesitant, and she holds out her hand. He takes it, and she pulls him to his feet, pulls him closer until they’re nearly touching and he’s forced to look up into her eyes or be stuck staring at her chin. He’s warmer than her, she can feel the heat pouring off him in waves, and she wants him to hold her in his arms so she can languish against him like she would a sun-warmed rock.

Before she had a heart, she took who and what she wanted, when she wanted it.

Now she has a heart, and she takes his hands in both of hers and says, “Would you like to visit the surface? I can take you, and bring you back before my husband returns.”

He’s hesitant because he’s afraid of her. Caeneus will never love her, because although she holds the heart he loves she is not the person the heart belongs to. Not that he knows any of that, not that anyone will ever know the details of her and Poseidon’s arrangement. But she doesn’t want Caeneus to be afraid of her. She wants him to smile at her like she is a sunrise. “Yes, please,” he decides on finally.

She stands and watches as he walks through his home, as he touches the hearth and looks longingly at the bed, as he stands in the small cottage that he clearly prefers over her palace, over all the riches and adoration that comes with being consort to the sea.

Caeneus is a simple man, whose heart loves with a simple love.

He is a man whose heart loves someone who now has no heart, and Amphitrite can’t bring herself to tell him. She’s the one who took it away, and she won’t give it back.

She likes having a heart, and one day she will need to return it, but not now, not yet, not for a long time.

~

Caeneus lies besides Poseidon, curled up so his head rests on the god’s outflung arm and he can watch his chest rise and fall as he sleeps. There are bruises on Caeneus’s hips and down his chest, bite marks on his shoulder and up his neck. It’s not the first time his lover has been rough with him, and he doesn’t mind, like that Poseidon doesn’t touch him like he’s afraid he’ll break, likes that whenever he’s rough he’s careful enough with his strength not to ever cross the line from bruising to breaking.

It’s different than it used to be. It’s been different for a long time, ever since Poseidon somehow convinced the Lady to hand over her title as monarch, to share her power with him for no reason that Caeneus can see. It’s not love between them, because the sea does not love. But she got something out of it, something valuable enough to bargain away part of her power, and as soon as she did the man Caeneus loves ceased to exist.

He slides out of bed and angrily rubs at his eyes. He can’t do this anymore, can’t sleep and live with this man who has his lover’s face and memories and nothing else.

He knows this palace well, and everyone else knowns him too. The servants don’t question him, only offer shallow bows before hurrying on his way. He’s a fisherman who lives on the outskirts of society. He’s not any sort of person that people were meant to bow to. He stands in front of an ornate set of carved doors, the beautiful shimmering inside of a muscle shell of impossible size. Two guards stand at each door, but neither move to stop him as he pushes it open and slips inside.

“Lady?” he whispers. Large, bioluminescent carvings flare to life all across the room, bathing them in soft golden-green light. Amphitrite pulls herself out of bed, green hair loose around her and the rest of her on display, pale and flawless, as perfect an example of a beautiful woman as Caeneus has ever seen, and he averts his gaze. “Lady!”

“So modest,” she teases, and when he glances over she’s in a simple white robe and pulling her hair up behind her. She looks vulnerable like this, almost like his mother did when she would rouse him and his father from sleep in the darkness of early morning so they could catch the fish while they were still sleeping. “What’s going on Caeneus? I thought my husband had exclusive rights to your nights,” she winks, and he forces a smile.

He walks over to her, takes her hands in his because he knows she likes how warm he runs compared to her, and her smile slips off her face. “Please,” he whispers, “Poseidon is different than he once was, and I want to know why. Please.”

~

She shouldn’t tell him, but the heart in her chest loves him, and she loves him too, thinks she would even without Poseidon’s heart influencing her.

So she tells him, and when he starts crying she brushes away his tears and he doesn’t stop her. “He’ll never love you like he once did,” she tells him, “It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just can’t.”

“The sea doesn’t love you back,” he says, because he knows, because he’s a skilled sailor, because he’s one of the people who has worshipped her his whole life without ever expecting anything back, because that’s what an ocean gives back – nothing at all. “Can – can I give you my heart?”

She stares. “Excuse me?”

“Let me give you my heart,” he pleads, “so that I may hold Poseidon’s in my chest. You can have mine, I know I’m only a mortal–”

“You’re all mortal to me,” she says, because a hundred years, a thousand, ten thousand, what does it matter – she and Gaia were around long before gods and humans, and they’ll be around long after them. “If I give you Poseidon’s heart, you will become a god.”

He pales and flinches away from her. He’s not in this for power, this was never about power to him. It was always about love. “Lady, I’m not trying to – I don’t want that.”

“If you become a god,” she continues, because she loves him and that means she wants him to be happy, even at her own expense, “you will be alive when the time comes for me to reclaim my title of monarch. One day I will take back my heart from Poseidon, will reclaim the cold, black thing in his chest as my own, and when I do he will no longer be master of the sea. When I do, you can give him back his heart, and he will love you as he loved you before, as he will always love you.”

Caeneus has a hand over his chest and there’s so much hope shining in his eyes that it’s almost painful to look at. “Please, Lady. Please. I love him, let me carry his heart, let me have him back once you are done. I will wait.”

“It will be a long time,” she answers honestly, “Empires will rise and fall before I’m willing to give this up, before Poseidon will be willing to give up his power over the sea.”

“I will wait,” Caeneus repeats, “I love him. If you have my heart, maybe you will grow to love him too. If you have my heart, you will protect him, you will keep him safe.”

Amphitrite loves Caeneus, and Caeneus loves Poseidon, and Poseidon is incapable of loving anyone at all. “Very well,” she whispers, because a heart is a heart, and just like Poseidon she’s unable to deny Caeneus anything.

She breaks open her chest and takes out the warm, beating heart of Poseidon. She slits open Caeneus’s chest for him, and holds him upright while struggles to take out his heart and clumsily places in into her chest. She heals over instantly, and nestles Poseidon’s heart in Caeneus’s ribcage. He too heals over, and his eyes flash with power as the heart settles inside of him.

Caeneus becomes so much more than a mortal man in that moment.

This heart doesn’t feel too different, she still loves Caeneus because she’s capable of loving and he is worthy of it. “Go,” she says, “Say your goodbyes, and leave. If you stay, he’ll just continue hurting you, and in a few thousand years he’ll hate himself for it. Leave now, and spare both of you that pain.”

He leans forward and cups her face in his hands, kissing her on each cheek. “Thank you,” he breathes, and then he’s gone.

~

Caeneus can feel the power of a god flowing into him, but he doesn’t care about that, the only reason he’s glad he’s a god now is so he’ll live long enough to get Poseidon back, to get the Poseidon who loves him back.

He goes back to where Poseidon is sleeping, and takes a long, careful look. It will be a long time before he sees this man again. He kisses him on the lips, softly and carefully, the way Poseidon first kissed him when he thought he was sleeping.

Then he leaves, stepping outside the palace and using his newly gained powers to bring himself to the shore.

~

Poseidon is furious, bur Amphitrite won’t budge, says only that Caeneus left. He throws a temper, and half the palace is lost in the aftermath, but she does not care.

She doesn’t tell him that she no longer carries his heart. It doesn’t matter. Caeneus’s heart beats in her chest, and she sits on her throne amongst the rubble and does nothing more than sigh at the way he threatens to tear the world apart looking for his lover. It will pass. The depth and coldness of the sea is unable to sustain such fits of wild passion.

Years pass. Rumors reach them of a sea god, one who is known for rescuing sailors and fisherman from storms, one who they say used to be a mortal fisherman himself.

They call him Glaucus, and say that he swallowed a magical herb to become a god.

She smiles when she hears these rumors, and thankfully Poseidon has long given up trying to get her to explain herself. The rumors are only half right, but she likes hearing them none the less.

It comforts her to hear that Caeneus is well.


gods and monster series, part xiii

read more of the gods and monsters series here

anonymous asked:

If you do requests can you please do a Mike Faist x reader (if you don't do cast can you do Connor Murphy) where they play 7 minutes in heaven

this was originally going to be short but i got carried tf away and now it’s 3800+ words SO
i have never done connor so like i KNOW this is going to be wildly out of character???? I JSUT RLLY LIKE SEEING CONNOR HEALTHY AND HAPPY IM SORRY SO let’s see how i Fuck this up


this is……….. probably not what u requested 

connor x fem!reader - seven minutes in heaven

Seeing Jared Kleinman and Evan Hansen at a party was a wonderful rarity. Seeing Connor at a party was even crazier. But seeing Connor at a party, enjoying himself with friends and not angrily smoking a joint in the corner of the living room until the host kicked him out? It was nearly unheard of. It was borderline impossible. And it simply made your heart swell.

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