it looks like kai is dragging sehun

suho: *answers phone* hello? *sips on his coconut while relaxing in the shade*

hotel staff: is this kim junmyeon?

suho:…yes? is something wrong?

hotel staff: oh it’s nothing really sir it’s just that your sons having been eating a lot at the snack bar-

suho: wait…my sons?? 

hotel staff: uh yes? a tall fit red head, a tall skinny man with wide shoulders, a tan man that looks like he just woke up, and a short man with brown hair? and they seem to have dragged a reluctant little man with short black hair here too

suho: oh my god that’s- *brings hand to heart* i’m touched my members actually…*tears up*

hotel staff: ok but sir-

suho: i mean i always thought that maybe one day there was a chance they would look at me as a father figure and now finally the day has come 

hotel staff: that’s nice but sir-

suho: ah yes sorry, what did my sons want?

hotel staff: they told me to put all the food and drinks on your card since you are their dad so the total cost comes to about two thousand seven hundre-

suho: *faints*

how to tell exo apart
  • Xiumin: hot short man
  • Suho: looks like ur mom
  • Lay: expressionlessly cute and mildly confused
  • Baekhyun: the short one thats always running his fucking mouth
  • Chen: cheekbones dude who is breaking your eardrums even when ur volume is at 5
  • Chanyeol: the tall one thats always running his fucking mouth
  • D.O.: short dude who looks like he wants to fling himself off a building
  • Kai: hot but also the one sleeping half the time and probably talking about puppies
  • Sehun: noodle man who is simultaneously a cutie and an annoying fuck
  • EX MEMBERS:
  • Yifan: the tall guy slamming his beautiful face in a oven door
  • Luhan: the guy who won't stop saying "yo" and "Im manly" and flirting with every single fucking member
  • Tao: The one that sounds like a drag queen, looks like a fucking badass, and acts like a 12 year old girl
Exo’s Reaction - When Your Child Performs

Xiumin - *You drag him along to watch your son in a performance. He comes on stage with his pirate costume and makes everyone ‘awh’ and Xiumin laughs* That’s our adorable son up there

Lay - *He loves seeing your daughter shining bright on the stage and claps at the end of every solo she has been put up for* Look at her jagi! She’s brilliant just like you!

Suho - *He doesn’t realize it but he distracted your daughter from her line and everyone was staring at him making a fool of himself* 

Kyungsoo - *He finds the performance really unsatisfying and couldn’t stop yawning until he heard the best voice of his son, as the main vocals in the play* Takes after his dad he does 

Tao - *He was getting confused of the point of the show and tried to figure it out, out loud. You hit him on the shoulder telling him to be quiet and just watch. hen little Tao came on stage and he got it straight away* (You’re Kris) But I don’t get the point or plot……wait….. i know… the plot is that our boy is the star, like me!

Chen - *The production was about friendship and kindness and when he heard  your son singing Chen’s parts for What Is Love, he couldn’t stop smiling* That’s my boy!

Kris - *He gives your daughter a thumbs up after she finished her part*

Chanyeol - *Someone tripped over on stage and being the little shit he is, he laughs but feels bad afterwards and makes sure that they are okay*

Baekhyun - Nope,Nope, Nopey, Nope, Nope! *He can’t stand the sound of the incorrect words and high pitches of the performers, especially when it comes to his part for What Is Love*

Sehun - *The soft voice of your daughter, lullaby like, sends drowsiness to Sehun who is sat next to you, falling asleep in the arms of another member behind him* 

Luhan - *He was really enjoying the production and watching your daughter sing her little heart out in a duet with her friend, singing Peter Pan and fills up at the end when they finished* That was beautiful

You teasing Exo in public

Can you please do a reaction of their girlfriend teasing them in public and how they would react? (Like swaying your hips a bit more in front of him)☺️

Well it depends on the person teasing and how they prefer to do it so i just used in general lol

~

Suho: He will drag you over somewhere people cant see or hear and pin you to a wall. he will say “Look down. See what you’ve done to daddy? You have been such a bad girl today. You make it up to me and I might just let you cum baby”. *breathes heavily*

Baekhyun: “I like what you’re doing baby but you have no idea what you have done” he is going to smile and his imagine will run wild. He’s probably going to be so distracted for the rest of the day cause of you ;)

Chanyeol: “why are you doing this to me???” he will get sulky lol. Once it has turned him on a lot tho he will turn to you and say “ok that’s it we are going home now!” he will grip you hand and walk with you.

D.O: Depending on how turned on you get him and where you are he might just have sex with you then an there. If not he is going to tell you how naughty you are being and how you deserve to be punished by him.

Kai: “When we get home I am going to fuck you till you can’t walk for a week” Revenge dirty talk from Jongin. He is going to love/hate it. It’s going to send him crazy and he is going to take revenge later you can guarantee that.

Sehun: he is going to bit his lip and smile at himself trying to ignore you. When he can’t take it anymore he will turn to you and whisper “Home. Now” and proceed to walk back to the car/train/bus/private jet

Xiumin: Is going to pull you to the side where no one can hear and say “You are such a naughty girl teasing daddy like this. When we get home you are going to have to beg me to let you cum princess”. Then he will continue walking.

Lay: He is going to try to hard to ignore you. Oh dear. Poor baby wont be able to help himself. he will probably grab your wrist and turn you so your facing him and then he whispers in your ear “when we get home you are going to pay”

Chen:  he is going to smirk at everything you do to tease him but not say anything about it. Once he feels like it he is going to tell you “You have no idea what you have just brought on yourself” and walk off smiling.

Tao: he is going to get mad ahah. he is going to keep saying things like “I hate you” “look what you’ve done” “when we get home”. It’s pretty funny but boy is he going to make you pay!

This has been a PSA

You’re throwing Tao hate because he “betrayed the members.”

The funny part is that you all think EXO look out for each other because that only applies to a certain extent.
They’re all in it for their own cost just like most other music artists in the industry - when Kris and Luhan were getting dragged under the bus, the rest of the members didn’t step in.

The reason no Korean member has left isn’t only because they love the group; it’s because they’re making money, being treated better than Chinese members and if they leave SM can destroy them in Korea.
Get it out of your head that everything they do is for us.

Why waste your fucking time hating on Tao (who doesn’t even know of your existence). If you really don’t agree with what he’s done - stop tweeting about him, stop making blog posts about him, stop watching his music video and listening to his songs because all you’re doing is increasing view counts and stop trying to work out a hidden meaning behind translated lyrics. Go out and do something more productive with your life because at the end of the day your opinions don’t mean shit to Tao or EXO.