it looks like i have duck lips

Fire & Desire | 1

“Kim Seokjin is everything you don’t want in a man. Cocky, full of himself and oh so annoying. And that’s what makes him the perfect fuck buddy. Because it’s not like you could ever see him as anything more than a heartless player… right?”

pairing: seokjin x reader
genre: smut, fuckboy!jin, dom!Jin
wordcount: 10.1k
a/n: *that* shower scene inspired by this picture!

part one

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Rotten Judgement - part 8

AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hercules!AU After selling your soul to save your lover’s life, you become one of the Lord of the Underworld’s slave. Bucky is obsessed with one thing: collecting hearts. But why?

Word Count:1,997 (see what I did there?)

Warnings: the usual + Blood, Mention of Torture 

A/N: The final chapter. Thank you all for your feedback, you literally tricked me into writing more ;) I adore you guys ♥ There’s an epilogue coming this Sunday bc it was already super long. 

Rotten Judgement - Masterpage

“People do crazy things… when they’re in love.”

Nat gave Bucky a curt nod as she slowly closed the door. He stared at the closed door for a long moment, trying to understand the meaning behind her words.

Was she taunting him? Surely you couldn’t have sacrificed your life unless you truly loved him. He started pacing back and forth as he talked to himself.

“You are, by far, the most stubborn person I have ever met,” Bucky groaned, talking to your lifeless body. “If I say ‘black’, you say ‘white.’ You never listen. It’s like you enjoy winding me up or something.”

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Prompt #7 "I'm not blushing!"

Magnus opened his eyes slowly, giving them time to adjust to the morning sunlight that flooded his bedroom, bathing the room in a warmth that Magnus could feel even when he was tucked under numerous blankets.

As he woke, he realized a handful things. One, he still had his makeup on from the day before, so he curled a finger and let blue mist remove it for him. Two, he was only wearing a pair of black boxers, which he was positive weren’t his because he only owned tight boxer-briefs. Three, this was his and his boyfriend’s first morning waking up next to each other.

Magnus grinned at Alec’s sleeping face, only about a foot away from his own. Alec looked so peaceful when he slept, his features soft and his lips slightly parted. His dark hair was messy, but still looked as soft as a cloud, and Magnus couldn’t help but lift his hand to brush a piece away from Alec’s forehead.

Shadowhunters were light sleepers, Magnus knew, they had to be. Threats could rise at any time, and they had to be alert and ready to spring into action. So Magnus wasn’t surprised when Alec’s beautiful hazel eyes fluttered open and landed on him.

Alec’s smile was blinding. He looked absolutely stunning with his messy hair and sleep-clouded eyes and light stubble covering his jaw. Magnus took a mental picture, wanting to save that image for the rest of his immortal life.

Neither of them said anything. Magnus had shifter closer tangling his legs with his shadowhunter’s, placing a gentle hand on the soft black fabric covering Alec’s chest.

“Good morning.” Alec finally said, and damn, Magnus practically melted at how deep and throaty his voice sounded.

“It is, indeed.” Magnus replied with a smile. He probably looked like a lovestruck dork, but that’s exactly what he was, so he couldn’t care less.

Alec closed what little space was left between them, pressing a soft, close-mouthed kiss to Magnus’ lips. Magnus returned the kiss, tried to get Alec to part his lips, but his boyfriend’s lips stayed stubbornly pressed together.

The look that Magnus gave when they parted seemed to ask the question he’d been about to voice, because Alec shyly looked down at Magnus’ chest and said, “Morning breath.”

Magnus laughed, and Alec looked at him strangely before he lifted his hand. With a simple flourish and a few blue sparks, both of their mouths tasted of mint.

A wide grin spread across Alec’s face. “I love you.” He said as he leaned in again, this time parting his lips as he captured Magnus in a passionate kiss.

Neither of them had intentions of their kiss getting so heated, but things led to other things, and within minutes, Alec had pulled Magnus on top of him and Magnus was trying to get Alec’s shirt off.

Alec broke away from the kiss, and from the feeling of it, Magnus knew that Alec hadn’t wanted to.

“I have to be at the Institute in fifteen minutes.” Alec huffed out a strangled breath as Magnus attached his lips to the side of his neck.

“A lot can be done in fifteen minutes.” Magnus purred into his boyfriend’s ear, a hand sneaking down Alec’s body.

Alec seemed to give in for a few minutes. Magnus continued to work on Alec’s neck, paying extra attention to his sensitive Deflect rune, but Alec suddenly pulled away.

“I really have to go,” Alec started, shifting out from underneath Magnus. “As much as I want to…you know…do that,” he began, standing up. “I know that once we start, I won’t want to stop.”

Magnus took a minute to look his love over, a smirk on his face. Alec was wearing a black shirt, as usual, and a pair of loose forest green sweatpants. He rolled out from under the covers and stood up out of bed, Alec’s black boxers loose on his hips, threatening to fall down at any second.

“Go do your job, Mr. Lightwood.” Magnus smirked, moving to stand in front of Alec, who automatically moved to wrap his strong, runed arms around Magnus’ waist.

“I’ll call you later, promise,” Alec said before ducking down to peck Magnus on the lips. “One more thing before I go, though.”

Magnus was confused. He tilted his head to the side as Alec removed one arm from around his waist, bringing his hand up to brush a piece of un-styled hair out of his face.

“Your eyes are beautiful.”

Magnus froze. He hadn’t even realized that he didn’t have his glamour up. Had his warlock mark been showing the entire morning?

Then he remembered Alec looking at him so lovingly, Alec kissing him good morning, Alec smiling at him like he was the most gorgeous thing in the universe. All while his cat-eyes were unglamoured.

A deep blush creeped up Magnus’ neck, coloring his cheeks, making him feel hot.

“Your blush is also pretty beautiful, just saying.” Alec said with a lopsided grin, pressing a kiss to Magnus’ flaming cheek.

“I’m not blushing!” Magnus exclaimed, eyes on the ground, but he was smiling.

This all felt like a dream. His whole relationship with Alec felt like a dream, actually, too good to be true. He’d never felt this loved in his entire life. None of the 17,000 other lovers made Magnus feel the way that Alec made him feel. Alec accepted him for who he was, he wasn’t thrown off by his warlock mark, he treated Magnus with respect that he’d never received from any other shadowhunter.

When Magnus finally looked back up, his eyes still unglamoured, he saw Alec staring at him. There was so much love in his gaze, so much adoration in his smile.

And Magnus knew, right then, that Alec was the love of his life.


(wow, this got a bit out of hand in length, sorry!! i hope that you like it! check out my prompts post and inbox me prompts that you’d like me to write!!)

Pink Suit

*NSFW*

Y’all … the Today Show outfit ruined me. This one is a little different (don’t let the NSFW scare you, it’s no where near true smut) and I had fun with it. Let me know what you think!

You could feel the energy outside as soon as you took your spot near the stage – the fans around you were buzzing with excitement. Screams of “I love you” and “HARRY!!!” echoed in your ears as you watched him take the stage. He was trying to hide the smirk on his face as he came toward the mic, but he was too excited.

He’d been talking about this performance for days. Harry was an adrenaline junky and lived for performing. He’d come home, talking nonstop at late hours of the night, going on and on about how this and that happened – you knew that this was where he belonged. The break he took from the band was good, but it was even better now that his entrance back into the music world was exploding.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he stood above everyone else – the pink of his suit glowing in the morning sun. It was a good color on him, bold even, but you would have expected nothing less from him.

It was a few nights ago that you’d helped him pick out this suit. There were many options, ranging from simple button-ups with his famous black Skinnies to full-on printed suits like the one he’d worn for SNL. Harry looked good in everything he put on, you thought, but he was still searching for the perfect one. 

“Love, what do you think?” he asked, coming around the corner from your closet. You were laying on the bed, scrolling through your phone while he changed. He stood, eyes focused on your reaction. He turned toward the full-length mirror, still waiting for your opinion, and pursed his lips in concentration. You could tell he adored the suit, but wanted a second thought.

It was something you loved about him; he was confident and sure, but was always humble enough to take others’ opinions into consideration.

“I think it looks incredible,” you started, “It’s so … you.”

He laughed, turning back to you, “Me?”

“Well, you know, you’re not scared of fashion,” you said nervously, “I didn’t mean it like it–,”

He laughed, interrupting your nervous chatter, “I know, m’just checkin’.”

Blushing, you smiled, “I really do like this one, babe.”

He met your smile and looked into your eyes for a quick moment, and then ducked in for a kiss. It would have been an innocent and sweet one, had he not held it out for more than a few seconds, but this was left on your lips with a trace of want. He’d of taken it farther had it not been for the new suit he was sporting. It took you by surprise, and by the time your brain registered what was happening, it was gone and he was walking off to change back into comfortable clothes. He walked away too quickly to be sure, but you could have sworn he was smirking on his way back to the closet.

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After receiving such kind words from @michicant123 I really wanted to write something, so please, have this as a thank you <3

***
Derek opened his eyes slowly, he could feel the small beam of sun light snaking its way through his window, warming his skin. He turned over, allowing it to wake him up properly. He felt peaceful, a concept that used to be very rare for him, but he wasn’t complaining.
He could hear someone downstairs and the thought didn’t immediately make him jump out of bed, he felt content knowing it was probably someone in the pack. He didn’t imagine he would ever get to this place, having a family again, people he trusted with his life, people who made his life feel complete in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He heard a laugh that made him smile. Of course Stiles was here; Derek would never admit it to him, but he missed Stiles when he stayed at home for a few days, realising how vast the space was in the loft. Derek enjoyed his own company, sure, but being surrounded by family, by his pack, was something that brought him a comfort he couldn’t explain.

“Hey, you’re up” Stiles said with a smile as Derek descended the stairs.

“’bout time, we were gonna eat without you” Erica laughed, putting a few extra slices of bacon on the plate before handing it to Derek, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“How long have you guys been here?” Derek queried, moving to the kitchen to grab a fork before sitting at the counter.

“About an hour” Stiles said muffled, scrambled eggs taking up the majority of the space in his mouth.

Derek just nodded in response as he tucked into his own breakfast, his eyes drifting to the guy sitting opposite him. Stiles is such a complicated character that Derek has taken years to know. He forgets sometimes how far apart they used to be, but when he thinks about it now, he’s glad they formed the friendship they did.

They have all suffered their fair share of bad experiences, leading them to be the people they are today. They won’t ever be fully healed, no one can come out of what they all experienced and remain unscathed, but that was their life. Supernatural beings don’t usually live a life full of harmony and rainbows, but this, this right here, was pretty damn close.

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vexedcer  asked:

Ok I was just thinking abt, how does Elaine react to Jace? Does she know who he is pre-romantic relationship? Is he "the one with the tattoos"? Has Simon already come out to her when he brings Jace up? Does she insist on having a family meal when he formally meets them as Simon's boyfriend? I'm just word vomiting on you and smiling like a fool on the bus but gah I needed to get it out to someone ik who'll appreciate it

WOW I’M SPEECHLESS YOU’RE RIGHT IT’S JUST SO???? LIKE YOU KNOW ELAINE IS #1 MOM AT ALL TIMES AND IS SO SUPPORTIVE - 

  • like, she definitely begins to notice that simon is into guys when he’s in high school and they go to temple one day and simon flushes when dear old harriet’s son compliments simon
  • so she’s like hmmm and she keeps an eye on him and she almost forgets about it because he’s so in love with clary, and she’s a little torn because clary’s a lovely girl but she doesn’t want her son to get hurt and clary, she knows, has a habit of unwittingly pulling everything around her into her orbit
  • and then, you know, strange things start happening to her son and she spends a long period of time thinking, hysterically, that he’s dead, or off getting addicted to drugs, or just - so many awful things, and she wonders often if it’s her fault, if her picking up that bottle when ethan died set off a chain of karma so bad it’s destroyed her children - but no, she has to remember that rebecca and simon are their own people and that they’re family, no matter what, and oh god she hopes simon is okay she hopes her baby is safe - 
  • simon starts reappearing, slowly but surely. he looks intensely uncomfortable, and every time he comes over for dinner he has a friend with him, that band manager raphael, or his ex-girlfriend maia, or that lovely girl isabelle, or clary, or a friendly boy named bat that appreciates her tamales more than simon seems to at this point - simon’s not eating again, which is worrying, but he looks healthy, if a little pale, and he still hugs her and holds her tight and say i love you, mom, so she perseveres in pretending nothing’s wrong until he wants to tell her - 
  • and she begins to piece it together after a while, because she hears that jocelyn is dead and she sees tattoos flicker across clary’s body sometimes, and the scars that peek out across maia’s neck are far from natural. and there’s a faint echo of a memory in the back of her head of simon with sharp, sharp fangs. she understands something’s happening, remembers ethan once tell her that he’d known someone, long ago, who under the full moon - but it doesn’t matter now. she begins to understand that she’s better off not knowing, so she turns her head when simon slips a flask of a thick red substance out from under his coat, and starts to harp on the benefits of animal blood and blood banks when simon’s around. 
  • in the middle of all this, she peers out the window by the front door one night to see her son arguing with…thin air?
  • she watches for a few more seconds, bemused, until the air shimmers and seemingly out of nowhere a handsome young man with blonde hair and a ridiculous amount of tattoos decorating his arms flickers into existence, looking extremely put out, but still acquiescing when simon grabs his wrist and makes his way to the front door. 
  • she opens it, and simon determinedly introduces her to jace, who shakes her hand and very politely calls her ms. lewis. he hovers a little behind simon, who rolls his eyes and pushes him into a chair, and elaine hides her smile behind a stack of plates as simon hisses “act natural, herondale” and jace whispers back, furiously, “easy for you to say, lewis”
  • she isn’t completely sure of their dynamic, but it’s clear that the two of them are intesely familiar with one another, moving easily in each other’s space. simon serves jace almost unthinkingly, and jace absently takes simon’s garlic bread and starts eating it. rebecca, bless her soul, wiggles her eyebrows at elaine - are the two of them, maybe, you know? - and elaine pointedly looks at rebecca’s plate - mind your own business, dear - and rebecca grins, turning back to her own dinner. 
  • during dessert, elaine absently asks “and what do your parents do, jace?”and jace replies that he’s isabelle’s sister. “you two look very different,” elaine says, “you must take after the other parent.” 
  • jace stiffens unexpectedly, and elaine opens her mouth to immediately backtrack, because she can recognize that discomfort anywhere, but she’s momentarily shocked into silence when she sees simon’s arm move slightly under the table, his biceps briefly flexing. 
  • elaine was young and in love once too, and she remembers a dinner conversation like this a long time ago, with ethan’s parents sitting across from her and asking her and what happened to your little brother, dear? and the immediate choking sensation she’d felt as visions of smashed windshields and her brother’s limp body flooded her mind. in the midst of all that, as she’d sat, frozen and petrified, ethan’s hand had found her thigh under the table and squeezed lightly, comfortingly. nothing big, no declaration, no sudden hero; just a little reminder, i’m here and you’re not alone, you are hurting and i know you are not alone. she remembers what it had looked like out of the corner of her eye, what it looks like now as simon angles his body towards jace and gazes at him with a warmth and support that’s so very ethan that elaine finds herself momentarily blinking back tears, stuck in the past and the present. 
  • “it’s okay,” jace says, his voice marginally smaller but a falsely bright smile plastered to his face, “i’m adopted.” 
  • “well, the lightwoods have a set of very attractive children, then.” elaine says without missing a beat, and jace laughs and rebecca laughs and simon flushes red and groans “mom” and it’s all fine, but elaine is still looking and she sees the way jace nudges simon as simon buries his face in his hands in embarassment, sees the look of fondness and amusement that jace gives her son, and she thinks he did it, ethan, he found himself his forever
  • because she knows simon, she knows people, she knows love like no one else knows it because ethan was the kindest person to walk this earth and he taught her how to find it in everything and everyone before the earth took him back, so she waves simon and jace goodbye and knows in her heart that one day jace is going to be in her living room, asking to marry simon. 
  • and sure enough, when weeks later simon swallows hard on her front porch and says, slowly, quietly, “mom, jace and i - he’s my boyfriend, now, i think - “ and jace presses a quick kiss to simon’s cheek, the tips of his own ears burning as he murmurs, “we’re dating, lewis, you don’t have to say i think, you idiot - “, she blinks back tears as she remembers the way ethan’s lips felt skimming along her cheeks, and she sweeps them both into a hug. 
  • “i’m happy for you,” she says, ruffling simon’s hair, and he ducks his head and looks pleased, and jace says - polite as ever, what a charming young man - thank you, and she looks at the stars briefly. 
  • our son likes boys, too she thinks to ethan, confident that wherever he is he’s got an eye on her, and if you were here, you’d be so happy that he was happy. 
  • but you’re not, she thinks bitterly, smiling sadly, so i’m going to be happy enough for the both of us
  • she turns and makes her way inside, and she swears she can feel the ghost of a kiss pressed to her cheek. 

Best Friend confesses Series: Vernon

This is part six of a series of Seventeen imagines. Feel free to message me and say who you want to see confessing next! Requests get done fast ;)

You can always tell when Vernon has been overworking himself, and today is one of those days. Even though you have a shopping trip with Seungkwan scheduled for the afternoon, he’s barely been answering your texts, and on the video call you had last night, he was distracted and kept muttering words under his breath and staring into space. You even receive an annoyed message from Seungkwan begging you to come over early to help cheer him up. Apparently he still hasn’t emerged from the bedroom he slept in the night before despite the fact that he had an early night.

So you gather up some of your things and head over to the dorms. Seungkwan is beyond excited to see you and begins whining when you get in the door. He says Vernon promised that the day off would be a good chance to go shopping, and now he’s just lying around instead. You make some non-committal soothing noises and follow him to the room where Vernon is.

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Red Waters

Oops, I ended up ruining a good moment at the lake with a lovely head injury to our favorite mess, the Blue Paladin, I don’t regret anything and at the same time, I regret everything


Lance jumped to the next rock, a grin brighter than the sun plastered on his face.  Pidge screeched and shot Lance off the rock and into the water.  Hunk popped up beside Lance and raised his water gun up to his shoulder, aiming at Pidge.  “Keith, back up!”

“Wait, wait, I don’t have a water gun, don’t attack me!”  Lance hollered with both his hands raised in the air, surrendering to the others.  Pidge and Hunk smirked before turning on their friend, shooting streams of water at his face.  They laughed infectiously while they played in the water.

Shiro, Allura, and Coran sat on the beachside, watching the Paladins as they played in the water.  Coran and Allura had found a planet like Earth that has breathable air, lush greenery, and flowing water.  Once the Alteans brought it up, there was a unanimous vote to take a break and visit the planet.

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The Undeniable Offer

Summary: Chris gives an offer that she cannot deny, which has something to do with saving water 

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: None this is very very fluffy 

Word Count: 639

A/N: This was requested by @m-a-t-91 , #40 with Chris Evans. Here you go love, hope you like it! 💕


Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh


The sun shining through the curtains is what woke you up, as the warm breeze flowed the curtains around. You rubbed the sleepiness from your eyes and stretched your limbs, hearing a soft chuckle coming from your left. Looking to where the sound came from, Chris was staring down at you in such a loving way that it made you blush. He whispered a good morning and ducked down for your lips only to have you cover your mouth, leading Chris to leave a devastated sigh.

“Sorry, I forgot.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and said, “You didn’t forget,” you cleared your throat,” you wanted to try your luck. Well, let me tell you something you ain’t lucky this morning.” Chris’s response was a simple chuckle, knowing you were right. It was complete silence between two, just staring at each other; wanting to memorize the others face. Chris suddenly looked up, remembering he had something as he jumped up and looked at the time. Different types of curses flew out of his mouth as he rushed into the bathroom, quickly washing up and went back straight into the closet.

“If only your mother could hear you right now!” You called after him shaking your head, despite him not being able to see you. “Where’re you even going?”

“Ha ha ha. You’re too funny, I rescheduled my workout time to now so I can have dinner with my amazing girlfriend.” Chris told you as he emerged from the closet; shoving his workout items in his gym bag. “I’ll be back in an hour, do you need anything?”

“Mmm, nope,” you said making a popping sound, making your way towards Chris giving him a kiss on the cheek but of course he turned his head just in time for your kiss to land on his lips.

“Looks like I’m pretty lucky,” Chris said flashing you a smile while you rolled your eyes at him.

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Wiser. (3/??)

ivar x blind!reader.

and here we have the most heart-wrenching thing i have ever written at almost 3 in the morning. fuck me.

i’m probably gonna try(???) and sleep after this. i’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night, my sunken eyes full of sleep, but my mouth dry and thirsty for more vikings. usually how it goes. :’)))))))

that’s me crying.

tags: @nothingbuthappydays, @ivartrash, @tiyetiye, @alexa040004. two awful things in one night??? yeah, i know. i have exams tomorrow so this helps.

but like i said. there’s a bath.

warnings: nakedness, but not really detailed.


There was always something in the way your lungs instinctively filled with air, greedily, when you brought yourself out of the hot spring that made your blood rush. The way your body worked always interested you; the natural responses you had to certain things, and just how it knew what to do.

You wished with all that it seemed able to do, that it could keep itself clean as well.

Most women, you were sure, it would bother them to have him watch them bathe, and you were sure Ivar would actually watch you from time-to-time. But, it felt completely natural to have him sit at the edge of the spring while you stood completely naked, either immersed in water or everything on display. Perhaps it was because you were never taught to think of yourself as something to hide, or your body to be ashamed of. You had no clue on what it looked like, nor what other female bodies looked like, so there was nothing to compare for you when you heard other girls bask in their insecurities. As for Ivar, he was mostly there to keep an eye out – make sure you did not get lost or killed, and he did not seem to mind all that much.

Running the tips along your scalp, you gripped your locks and squeezed, letting a little river run down your spine, the water turning cold as it made its way down. You shivered slightly, lowering yourself down until you felt the line lapping at your collar bone. It eased your muscles to come out and soak, even with the pair of eyes watching you from the shore, and the sound of stone against metal, grinding down the edges to make it sharper than his tongue, and his attitude.

At that thought, you let out a little chuckle, stopping the noises from him. “What are you giggling at?” His voice still thick with exhaustion and sleep. It was a long journey out here, and while you hauled him half of the way, he had to crawl the other half. You’re sure it must be an interesting sight to see a blind carrying around a cripple, telling her which way to go, when to stop, and what to look out for. But you were not as strong as his brothers, resulting in him having to do some physical work.

Not to mention, it was still very early in the morning.

Turning your head to the side, your flashed teeth. “Nothing,” You teased, listening as a vicious noise came from him, and he started back on his axe again. “Just thinking about how ugly you probably are.”

First came the yell, and you jerked, followed by something flying right past your skull and into the water, causing you to duck, your body wracking with a howl. “At least I do not have to think about how ugly you are!”

Still shaking with laughter despite his response, you turned around and you still practically feel him fuming. If he could swim, you were sure your head would be held under water for a while. “What do you look like, Ivar?”

An irritable sigh, a sound you knew all too well from him. “I have a face; mouth, nose, ears, eyes – how do you want me to explain it to you, hmm?”

Wetting your lips, you gently took the bottom one between your teeth and tilted you head. Walking closer to the shore, you held out your arms. “Come here.” Your fingers danced towards him, like a child wanting to be held by their mother.

No.”

Your mouth curled down, your bottom lip sticking out slightly. “Ivar,”

Why?”

Slapping your hand onto the surface, a few drops hit your face, and your voice went up a pitch. “Just come here!” Silence. No reply. Not even the sound of him dragging himself closer. Reaching up, you took a strand of hair and twirled it between your fingers. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

You did not know what sultry looked like exactly, but you tried your best with fluttering your eyes. It was something Aslaug, his mother, had told you women do when they play coy. It was, apparently, supposed to make men fall at their feet, but at the sound of his laughter, he was falling nowhere. “Drown.” Your brows knitted together, and you wished you could stare him down with a nasty look as he let out a deep sigh. “For someone who is not a princess, you sure know how to act like a little brat,” You cared not at his words as you heard him crawling towards you, his hand resting on your shoulder to let you know how close he was, and far away from the water he was.

“Yes, you would know exactly how spoiled princesses act, Ivar,” You stated, running your hand up the length of his arm until you almost reached his face, and you felt him pinch the skin on your collar bone before jerking his head away. You yelped.

“Only because I deal with one every day,” He dealt, giving your cheek a few soft pats, causing you to slap his hand away. A disgusted tone taking his voice. “And do not touch my face with those hands. I know where they have been.”

A flat expression came onto your face, and you shouted. “Just let me touch you, dammit!”

“Well, if you insist, but I think it would be a little lower that would benefit us both.”

You ignored him, or at least tried. Your cheeks felt a little warm at his words, but your eyes rolled. “Helga let me do this thing to her – “

“Oh, she let you touch her, did she? I wonder how Floki felt about that.”

Sliding your hand as it slapped against the water, you heard him spit and groan, the temperature in your cheeks rising, but you tried so hard to let it go. Just too curious. “– where I felt her face. She suggested it to me, saying that I could paint a picture in my mind as I felt her features, and I… I wanted to see you.”

This time, you stayed silent, waiting for a reply. You did not rush his decision for this. He never seemed to have a problem with you touching him before, even for long periods of time. In fact, he encouraged it around other people – to have his hand on you, yours in had hair or on his shoulder, one time even trying to encourage you to sit on his lap. You believed it made him feel like someone desired him, was not ashamed of him under the public eye, made him feel wanted in a world where everyone looked down on him.

You hoped that in some way you had helped him like he had you.

“Go ahead.” When he finally answered, you exhaled deeply, not realizing what you had been holding in that entire time.

For some-reason you could not will yourself to move. You felt like a child, frozen in place, a slight fear bouncing in your mind. You couldn’t place what you were scared of, and you began to sweat, his voice seeming like a distant howl as he called out for you to hurry up. As your hand moved up his neck, you inhaled sharply as your thumb brushed his strong jaw-line, and this felt like something for you was coming together – a piece of a puzzle you were missing, the answer to a riddle you had been tripping over for years. Reaching up your other hands, you began your exploration; your thumbs grazing over his high cheekbones, the soft thick lashes on his eyes, his brows. His thick lips parting slightly as you brushed him, his warmth fanning over your hand. You had felt his face before in passing touches, fast and light things, but never had you felt so intimate with someone before.

It was different from when Helga let you paint her.

Your heart beat like drums, and your chest was tight, but you felt so free as you search a second, third time, his hands coming up to grasp your biceps, his leather bracers scratching your skin as he traveled up them. Landing on your shoulders, he squeezed, his blunt nails digging into your damp flesh.

“Oh, Ivar,” You felt the muscles in his face twitch as he inhaled deeply. Your throat tight. “You’re beautiful.”

You could have felt him for hours.

But he ripped away.

Lead Me On; Part Five

A/N: The chapter is a bit short. The next one will be longer.

Pairing: Fuckboy!Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Romance, AU

Warnings in this chapter: ABUSE, panic attack, violence, swearing.

Words: 2,124

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | to be continued…

(Please give me feedback!)


A finger dragged across your cheek. Wet. It was wet. The sensation made you shoot up in confusion. Too hazy minded to function properly yet. A loud chuckle was heard from aside you. Your brought your hands up to your eyes, rubbing at them. Trying to get the sleep away. “Why did you do that?” you asked, your voice rough from sleep. Chanyeol didn’t answer, he only stared at you. In your state of awareness, you fell back again, too tired to get up yet. “It’s eleven, Y/N” you heard Chanyeol say, you only gave him a soft hum in response and settled yourself against his side again.

Keep reading

cyrano’s got nothin’ on me

by andawaywego

[or: Jason asks Kim out and Trini is too good a friend for this crap]


Jason asks Kim out on a Thursday.

Trini’s not sure why it’s important that it’s a Thursday, only that it is. Thursdays suck. Not quite the week, not quite the weekend. She supposes, also–along those same lines–that she’s not even really sure why it’s important at all . Because it isn’t.

Or…shouldn’t be.

Jason can ask out whoever he wants. He could ask out Alpha-5 for all Trini cares. And it’s not like she has a monopoly on Kim’s time anyway, even if they usually do spend their Friday nights babysitting Trini’s brothers together. Even if her going on a date with Jason would take that away from her.

That tiny shred of a regular schedule.

They’re in the pit when it happens and Trini is delicately putting a bandage over a particularly bad scrape on Kim’s shoulder. She’s being a good friend. Because that’s what friends do. Friends press antiseptic wipes into cuts and wipe away blood and sometimes even press their fingers to their lips and then press those fingers into the Mickey Mouse band-aid. It’s not weird.

It’s completely normal.

“How bad is it?” Kim is asking, her voice that soft timbre that definitely doesn’t make Trini’s knees shake a little from where she’s kneeling on them.

That would be crazy.

“You’re fine, you big baby,” she jokes, trying to get rid of some of the tension of the moment–that unnecessary weight that is always added so immediately whenever her and Kim’s skin meets.

Kim laughs, this light sound that hardly even sounds like her.

It’s a nice moment–Kim sitting on a rock, Trini kneeling beside her, fingers keen and careful as she presses the adhesive sides of the band-aid down. And then Jason comes shuffling over with his hands wringing out some gross sweat towel like he’s nervous and his eyes are downcast, which is definitely weird because–

Well, because he’s Jason. He exudes confidence and this boyish, who-fucking-cares swagger most days that she’s slightly envious of, if only because he can get away with it, as a boy, without being called a bitch .

But she digresses.

“Hey, Kimberly, can I, um…talk to you for a second?”

It’s not an unusual request, if only because he’s been known to pull each of them aside for the occasional heart-to-heart just to ensure that they’re all on the same side. Usually, they are.

This is not one of those times.

From the side of Kim’s face Trini is on, she can see her eyebrows lower down in confusion. She can see that biting frown twisting on her lips, and Trini, in turn, frowns in mere response.

It’s bizarre.

“Yeah, sure,” Kim says. “What’s up?”

The moment Trini realizes it’s weird is the moment Jason glances at her, as though waiting for her to duck out or excuse herself, which–

She doesn’t have to, okay? Kim is probably the only female friend she’s ever had. She has a right to bear witness.

Make sure Jason doesn’t say anything stupid.

Like, You really sucked at training today.

Or, Those jeans don’t look great on you.

Or–

“I was, um…sort of wondering if you maybe wanted to go on a date tomorrow…with me.”

Yeah, something like that.

Kim is silent for a really long time, her mouth just sort of hanging open as she weighs her options, no doubt. Trini knows the feeling. And it’s weird that Jason would even ask, but it’s not necessarily surprising.

It’s practically set in stone. Two kids, fallen from grace, who used to run in the same social circles. If things were different and Jason hadn’t gotten almost expelled for that cow prank and Kim hadn’t nearly been taken to court over the Amanda thing, they probably would have ended up here either way.

Still, there’s the group dynamic to think of and Trini is half-expecting Kim to just blurt out the word, No, and then hightail it out of there, leaving Trini to slink out awkwardly from underneath Jason’s heavy, disappointed gaze.

There’s the group dynamic and the fact that this could sincerely screw that up.

Trini imagines all of this going through Kim’s head and more and then Kim says, “Um…” but instead of delivering some devastating blow to Jason’s ego, she says, “Sure.”

Sure .

The word sends a pang through Trini’s head, the beginnings of a headache. She frowns, bites her lip and presses the band-aid too hard onto Kim’s shoulder, making her yelp out in pain.

“Jesus, Trin! Be careful.”

When she looks up, Jason is frowning at her. Perhaps over the fact that she’s just (accidentally) hurt Kim, but it doesn’t appear to be the look of someone who’s just asked out Kimberly Hart and gotten a positive response. Trini would be jumping for–

For nothing.

Because she’d never ask out Kim because she’s not that girl. She’s not the kind of girl who develops feelings for her straight best friend. Her first best friend.

Jason smiles. “Great. I…I’ll text you, okay?”

Kim bobs her head. “Yeah, great,” she says and then Jason leaves. He joins Zack and Billy by the ship and they leave together.

It’s quiet for a couple of minutes–just the sound of Trini breathing too harshly for someone who’s literally just kneeling there–and then Kim clears her throat.

“Are you okay?” she asks, like it’s supposed to mean something different. Something deeper.

Trini nods. “Yep. Fine.”

She pulls herself up and grabs her things and it isn’t until she’s soaking wet and running home that she realizes she just stormed off like a character from some stupid teen drama. She stormed off for no damn reason.

Because she doesn’t have a reason, she thinks as she sinks heavily, wet, onto her bed and feels the soak of the sheets beneath the seat of her jeans.

At least, not one she’s willing to consider.

.

It only gets worse.

Or, weirder, actually, because Trini has absolutely no opinion of Kim going on a date with Jason, so how could it possible get worse?

Answer: it can’t. It can’t get anything because Trini doesn’t care.

“Morning,” Jason greets from beside her locker as she approaches that next morning and she frowns at him. It’s too early for his perky smile, the way his blue eyes shift in the flourescent lights.

She grunts and tugs her locker open, shoves some of Kim’s books aside so she can get her things.

“Was your night okay?”

She has to hand it to him, he’s genuinely trying. He may not be the elected leader she would have voted for as President Power Ranger, but he tries to make sure they’re all on the same page. Even when he’s asking one of them out.

“If you’re looking for Kim, she doesn’t come get books till after third, so you can come back later.”

Jason frowns–this pretty thing that turns down his lips like some Teen Beat poster. “I wanted to talk to you, actually,” he says and Trini ignores him, grabs her books and slams the locker closed. “I have a favor to ask.”

She feels sluggish, weighted down like she’s just been pushed off a cliff and into an unexpected bed of water waiting below. “What kind of favor?”

And the sheepish look Jason gives her is answer enough.

.

Okay, so it shouldn’t piss her off. There’s no reason for it.

Teen comedies should have taught her that she should do anything for her best friend, even help the guy she’s dating date her. Especially that.

Of course, in a teen movie, she’d probably fall in love with Jason at the end and Kim wouldn’t be a very good person so the audience wouldn’t feel bad that she’s left all alone, but…

Yeah, no. That’s not gonna happen.

“You’re gonna what ?” Zack asks at lunch, halting mid-throw with a tater tot in his hand. The face he’s making is torn between amusement and sincere pity, so Trini looks away–squints until she can just barely see the pile of tater tots he’s been making in the football field down below the bleachers.

“You’re making a mess,” she admonishes, trying to change the subject, but Zack is never so easily swayed.

He frowns and drops his arm. “I’m sorry,” he starts, “but it sounded like you just said you’re helping Jason get ready for his date tonight.”

She looks away, finding something interesting to pick at on the knee of her jeans.

“His date with Kim.”

She frowns.

“The same Kim you’re in love with.”

Except–

“I’m not in love with Kim,” she snarls and Zack nearly looks afraid for a second before a smug look replaces it.

“Mhm,” he hums and looks away. He chucks the tater tot from before and it lands in the same pile in the middle of the fifty yard line.

“I’m not.”

He nods. “I heard you.”

“Yeah, but you don’t seem like you believe me.”

He chucks another one and then turns to meet her eyes. “That’s because I don’t.”

And, well.

She doesn’t owe any sort of explanation to him anyway.

.

“So,” Kim starts at the end of the day, standing by Trini’s locker and Trini can’t even look at her, can’t bring herself to do it.

Keeps hearing, the Kim you’re in love with, over and over in her head. Zack’s stupid voice.

Stupid words.

Stupid Zack, always making things more complicated.

“Yeah?” Trini prods, because it’s rude to ignore someone you’re not technically mad at. It’s rude to ignore your best friend at all.

“I, um…Have fun with your brothers tonight, I guess.”

That’s when Trini remembers that she’ll be babysitting alone for the first time since before Rita–since before meeting Kim. She’ll have to deal with Diego and Alex not wanting to do their homework on her own and Kim won’t be there after bedtime to watch cooking shows in the dark living room with.

Which is fine.

Because Trini isn’t needy. She doesn’t need to spend every single Friday with Kim like some standing date.

Date.

“Right,” she says and tugs the last of her books out. “Have fun on your date .”

If she spits that last word–if she slams their shared locker door a little too hard–she doesn’t mean to. And it doesn’t mean anything when she’s scared to look back at Kim as she leaves, scared to see her reaction.

.

At home, she tries to smother herself with a pillow only to be interrupted by a phone call.

“Hey,” Jason says when she answers. He sounds anxious and Trini closes her eyes against her growing migraine. “Could you…I don’t know what to wear. Could you maybe come over and help me?”

Like she’s some sort of dating-Kimberly-Hart expert. Like she’s a dating expert at all .

The clock on her phone says 3:47. The date isn’t until 7:00 .

Trini sighs. “Be there in five minutes.”

.

Jason answers the door like he’s just run a marathon. He looks sickly, his blue eyes darting around nervously as his hand clasps around her wrist and drags her inside and down the hall to his bedroom.

“Sorry,” he says, once the door is closed. “My mom knows I’m…” He trails off. “And if she sees you, she may think you’re who I’m taking to dinner.”

Trini nods. She gets it.

Mrs. Scott is almost as overbearing as her own mother–something that her and Jason had only just begun to bond over before this whole date fiasco started. Now, she’s–

Now she’s fine. Because this is fine.

Jason is her friend and Kim is her friend and this is totally fine .

“So…You’re taking Kim to dinner then?”

Her curiosity gets the best of her, bubbling up in her chest and her stomach and making her feel antsy. She taps her foot against his bedroom floor and takes a seat on his messy bed, pushing a couple of dirty t-shirts onto the floor to make room for herself.

Does curiosity always feel so nauseating?

Jason crosses his arms over his chest and looks towards his open closet, his messy dresser drawers, all of them pulled out and torn apart. “Yeah,” he says. “That, um…that pizza place over on Maple?”

She nods. Her brother ate seven slices of pepperoni there last month and upchucked on checkered table cloth. Good times.

Of course, she doesn’t tell Jason that because he looks nervous enough already without hearing about her kid brother puking everywhere in the same restaurant where he’s about to take Kimberly Hart on a date.

“You good?” she asks. “You look sick.”

And he does.

Jason nods and uncrosses his arms to wipe his palms on his jeans. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m just…”

But even he doesn’t seem to know what he really is, and the subject is promptly dropped.

“Okay.”

She pulls herself to her feet and edges around him to his closet and pushes around at a couple of flannels he has hung up inside it. “What were you thinking, clothes-wise?” she asks, because all the shirts look pretty much the same, most of them checkered blue and red.

Jason shrugs and he doesn’t seem to know what he’s allowed to do with his hands, because he keeps moving them around–stuffing them in his pockets, running his fingers through his hair, rubbing his face with his palms.

“Dude, are you sure you’re okay?” she asks. “Because, like…You look like you’re gonna ralph”

“I just…” He looks away and then crosses the room to sit in her recently vacated spot on his bed. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say tonight. I just feel like…This should be easy, right? If it’s meant to be?“

Trini knows that feeling–feels it pretty much every time she’s left alone with Kim, but it had been the most poignant that first afternoon alone, before they’d defeated Rita. She’d made a fool of herself going out for coffee with the other girl–hadn’t known whether she should hold the door open for her and ended up slamming it shut on Kim’s face. She hadn’t known whether or not she’d been meant to pay for her own half or not and ended up accidentally making Kim pay for the whole thing and then–

It hadn’t been pretty, but she’d like to think it’s gotten simpler since then.

Still not perfect by any means, but definitely not the disaster of that first afternoon.

“Hey, Kim is easy, okay?” Trini says, but it’s a lie and it comes out sounding like some sort of comment about something else entirely. She blushes and Jason gives her an odd look at her phrasing. “What I mean is–” She starts, clearing her throat. “–is that she’s not gonna, like, judge you or anything. She has like endless chances for us weirdos.”

Jason smiles in relief at her words. “Don’t lump me in with you,” he jokes and Trini smiles, the mood suddenly a good deal lighter than it had been mere moments before.

“Just open the door for her. Hold her chair out. Ask her questions, I guess. She doesn’t like to talk about herself unless you make her, but it makes her feel better to do it, so…And she might try to steal your food, but just let her because she makes this really cute face when she thinks she’s gotten away with it.”

Jason is looking at her weird again, his eyes narrowed and Trini looks away, back at his closet.

“How about this one?” she asks, pulling out a button-down shirt that looks exactly like the others.

But Jason seems pleased. He smiles and takes it and makes Trini turn around as he changes.

It isn’t until 6:00 when she’s making sure his hair looks decent that Trini realizes what she’s helping him prepare for.

“Thanks,” he says on his way out, his keys jingling faintly in his hand as he makes his way to his recently-repaired truck.

Trini nods and swallows around the lump in her throat, wonders vaguely if she might be getting sick. Other than the faint, persistent nausea, though, she feels completely fine.

“Have fun on your date,” she says and the words sound wrong coming out of her mouth, leave her tongue feeling heavy.

Jason nods and smiles as he backs down the driveway.

Trini almost follows him. She even starts to–heading down those familiar back roads to Kim’s house–but she stops herself before she gets too far and pulls over on the side of the road.

“What the fuck is happening?” she whispers, head against the steering wheel.

Jason’s tail lights disappear up ahead and it’s only once they’ve completely disappeared that Trini turns around and drives herself home.

.

Her parents leave at eight for their weekly scheduled date night and her brothers’ long division homework does little to distract her. Trini feels sick–like she’s trapped in some sort of funhouse mirror, stretching and pulling and shrinking again until her insides are a jumbled, sick mess.

Zack texts her once around nine with a stupid meme she doesn’t fully understand and Billy sends a picture of his cat about twenty minutes later with a message that just says, You feel off. Maxwell wanted to say hi. Call me if you need me! :)

The offer’s nice and all, but all it does is remind her of why she feels off. And why she doesn’t want to think about why she feels off.

Twenty minutes after she puts the boys to bed–when she’s flopped back on the couch trying to take some sort of enjoyment in the way Gordon Ramsay is yelling on screen–the doorbell rings.

She contemplates just leaving it. Her dad forgets his keys sometimes and hates pulling out the hide-a-key rock they have by the front stoop because “the neighbors might catch on”, but being forced to out his secret is punishment enough for forgetting them again .

But then it rings again. More insistently. Loud enough to wake Diego and Alex.

She pulls herself to her feet and grumbles all the way to the front door, unlocking it and ripping it open. “Mom, you gotta start making sure he grabs his keys before you guys–” she starts, and then promptly cuts herself off.

Jason is standing on her porch with the shirt she picked out for him tugged up around his elbows. He’s kicking at the wooden steps and shifting his weight and he says, “Hey,” when she sees that it’s him.

That damn lump in her throat is back. “What do you want?” she asks, meaning it to sound harsh, but comes out insecure and a little wobbly.

“I, um…” He shuffles just the tiniest bit closer and his posture very nearly has her pitying him.

“How’d it go?”

The question is out of her mouth before she can even stop herself. Jason’s head tilts up as her words hit him and she gets the answer from the way his eyes drop.

This time, it’s her that tugs him into the house.

.

They’ve got maybe twenty minutes before her parents get back. Thirty, at the most, but that’s only if her mom decided dessert was worth it for the night and she usually doesn’t, citing that “room for dessert” means you did not have enough to eat at dinner.

Trini rolls her eyes at the thought and realizes too late that Jason must think it’s directed at him.

Which, it is. But only a little.

She doesn’t want to talk about that.

“What went wrong?” she asks and Jason shrugs, tosses his hands up in the air.

“I don’t know!” he says. “It was just…it was weird. I thought maybe…”

He doesn’t have to finish. He’d thought that it wouldn’t be weird, that the stars would finally align because, based on every group dynamic ever made, Fred and Daphne always end up together.

But that metaphor pretty much sucks. Mostly because she’s pretty sure that makes her Scooby.

Jason is too big for her couch. He looks humongous and out of place, but he presses his face to his knees at an awkward angle, and she’s pitying him before she realizes why. Disgust twists in her chest a second later, because a tiny thrill of pride had shot through her when she’d realized the date hadn’t gone well, and what kind of friend does that make her?

“Wanna be specific or am I gonna have to prod the rest of it out of you?”

She pokes his ribs, making him squirm, and then he finally pulls himself upright.

“We didn’t have anything to talk about,” he tells her. “We just sat there for, like, twenty minutes in silence. It was weird! And…I tried to hold her hand on the way into the restaurant and she just…I don’t know.”

Trini’s not sure if that’s meant to convey that Kim had pulled away or that she’d been superbly and shockingly terrible at holding hands in the first place. She’d go with the latter, if only for the comedy of the thought, but she knows it’s not true.

Because she’s held Kim’s hand exactly three times–once after Kim had confessed everything that happened with Amanda two months ago; once on the couch just two weeks ago; and the other just earlier on in the week when they’d been patrolling through the streets for anything strange.

Kim’s hands are warm without being sweaty, soft without being clammy. Her grip isn’t too firm.

It’s not like Trini has held a hundred different hands in her life, but she’s pretty sure Kim’s would be at the top of her list even if she had .

“It just felt wrong,” Jason admits. “And then we talked and I just…I realized why . Or…I don’t know.”

Trini’s head spins. She has so many questions, she’s not sure where to even begin

“Maybe you went about it the wrong way,” Trini tries. She really wants to be supportive because Jason is her teammate and her friend and she wants Kim to be happy. And if Jason can make her happy, then she’s gonna damn well do her best to make sure he does . “She’s…Kim is sorta hard to pin down. It took me a while to get her, but she’s…I don’t know. You’ll get there.”

Jason is quiet for a long time, just kind of slumped over with his face pressed into his hand, his elbow braced on his thigh. Trini isn’t sure what she’s supposed to say and Gordon Ramsay is saying, “You’re a fucking lunatic!” on screen, so she watches him storm out of whatever restaurant he’s trying to fix and waits for the silence to be broken.

But the moment it is, she wishes it hadn’t been. Because Jason says, “You’re a good friend, Trini. You really care about her,” in this super insistent way she doesn’t know what to say to.

“I mean, she’s my friend, so I–” she starts, but Jason’s eyes really should be illegal.

They’re too blue, too easy to turn into watery messes that you can’t turn down.

She sighs. “Yeah, I do,” she says, and it’s at least enough to get him out of her house before her parents get home.

.

did you guys miss me?

The message comes through while Trini is lying in bed an hour or so later, just kinda staring up at the exposed wood of her ceiling, that messy dent she hasn’t quite gotten around to patching up yet.

Her phone blinds her eyes and she doesn’t know how to say no because the answer is yes.

The boys did, she sends back and it’s read immediately, making Trini’s heart flutter.

Somewhere across town, Kim is lying in bed with her phone open waiting for Trini to text her.

just the boys?

Trini sighs. Yep, she types, then, how was your date with our dear captain? even though she already knows the answer.

It goes unanswered, but read, for probably about two full minutes before Kim finally texts back.

fine, it says, and then, i gotta sleep. see you tomorrow.

Kim, it seems, isn’t anymore willing to talk about what happened, and Trini shouldn’t, but she’s relieved for a moment before the disgust sinks in.

She really is the worst.

I’ll help you, she texts Jason a minute or two later and the response she gets is immediate.

.

“You seem better,” Billy chirps happily when she swings into detention the next morning.

He’s already at his desk with some homework pulled out, hands folded neatly on his lap, and his smile is impossible to ignore.

“I’m fine, Billy,” she tells him. It’s not necessarily a lie, just a marginal bending of the truth.

He nods. “Okay. Well…Maxwell says hi.” He smirks at his own cleverness and Trini smiles.

“Cool,” she says. “Tell him I said hi back.”

And then she’s in her corner of the room, burying her face in her English homework and ignoring the way Kim’s look burns into her face when she climbs down the steps a minute or two later.

Jason comes slinking down just before Mr. Narvy and he throws a note at Trini’s head as soon as roll call is finished.

what’s the plan? it reads, in scratchy mostly illegible letters.

Trini sighs and glances at the back of his head and then across the room where Kim is sitting, her head lowered over her homework. She’s bouncing her leg like she sometimes does when she’s taking a test in Biology. It’s a movement that Trini has become more than a little familiar with since the beginning of the school year–since before they officially met–and it makes her smile a little distantly.

She scribbles down her plan as quickly as she can manage and chucks it at his head, then pulls out another piece of paper, writing out A wild Jason appears! at the top of it in as close to Jason’s handwriting as she can manage.

It hits the back of Jason’s head with a painful looking thump. He whips around to glare at her in confusion and she just mouths, “Throw it to Kim,” with a particular harsh jut of her head towards the girl in question.

So he throws it to Kim.

It lands on her desk and she immediately stops bouncing her leg, head twisting around to look at Trini, as if the note had come from her, which…it had . But she catches Jason smiling at her instead.

Trini watches the exchange out of the corner of her eye and then the note is being discreetly tossed her way by Jason a second later.

All it says is, hey .

Which, for Kim, is wildly solemn.

Jason is watching her and Trini’s heart is pounding in her ears. The fact that it’s not her own name she’s writing down doesn’t make her feel any better.

Jason uses ASK TO A MOVIE TONIGHT.

Her hands tremble as she waits, which is stupid of course because it’s not like she’s asking Kim out (even if she is ).

Technicalities.

Kim is smiling. Trini can see that cute (what?) little curve of her lips from where she’s sitting. It must be a big smile.

She’s pretty sure she’s having a heart attack.

The answer she gets a minute later is, sounds good!

She should feel proud, maybe. Because she just asked out a pretty girl, because the pretty girl said yes, even though the way she went about it was possibly the dorkiest, quasi-lamest thing she could have done.

It’s not clear what expression she expects from Jason when she sends the note chain back to him with she likes dramas–bring tissues scribbled on the front, but mild disappointment certainly isn’t it.

.

At least training is cancelled.

A silver lining perhaps, but Kim flakes out after detention and Trini isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do now that she’s gotten Jason another date, so she goes to the mine anyway.

Zack is already there, swinging his legs over the edge of the cliff.

“You look pissed,” he says as she slumps down into the dirt beside him. “How’s the whole Cyrano de Bergerac thing working for you?”

She frowns, momentarily confused and Zack shrugs.

“What?” he asks. “I read.”

.

Jason calls her a couple of hours later, freaking out about movie times and choices.

“I don’t know, dude,” she says and resists the urge to chuck her phone into a rock.

Zack chuckles humorlessly from his spot on top of the train car. She flips him off.

“It’s like you’ve never dated a girl before,” she says, and it really is.

Not that she has either–not that she has much experience–but she’s been to the movies with Kim. She’s sat beside her in a mostly-dark room with one bucket of popcorn between them and felt the exact same nervousness that’s probably jumping in Jason’s throat right now.

Mostly, she just hates knowing that her and Jason have that much in common, so when he says, “You’re right. It’ll be fine,” a minute later, it’s satisfaction she feels when the line clicks dead.

.

He doesn’t show up on her doorstep that night, which she takes as a good sign.

For him.

Around ten, he texts her the thumbs up emoji. She doesn’t want to think about what that means.

.

“How are things with Jason?”

Trini asks it out of obligation, out of some masochistic tendency that she relies on like bad limp. She doesn’t want to know. Or, rather, 90% of her doesn’t want to know. It’s that rogue 10% that would much rather her be left a crying mess on the floor with her hard-to-process feelings.

Except they’re not so hard.

“Good,” Kim says and she’s cradling her paper coffee cup in her hands and exhaling bright, white curling air that spreads upwards, chilled and freezing microscopically.

Trini nods and presses her coffee further between her knees, bundling into her coat and trying to ignore the cold metal of the park bench beneath her legs.

It’s quiet. Trini lets the unspoken reasoning behind her brief, unimportant interrogation settle into the space between them, which doesn’t say much because there’s not much space. Kim’s arm is pressed up against her own and Trini wants to move and doesn’t in equal, confusing parts.

“Are you…” She’s not certain how she wants to ask that. Mostly because she’s only had a couple of days to come to terms with where this has been heading since she met Kim on that stupid cliff two months ago.

Her dumb, teenage heart got away from her and now she can’t so much as look at Kim without imagining Jason kissing her. The thought makes her sick. The thought of Kim with anyone (else) has made her sick for a while now, but she’s only just now begun to understand the reasoning behind it.

“Yeah?” Kim prods and she’s looking at her now.

Trini meets her eyes, but barely–refuses to get lost in the darkness of their color, that beautiful shadow around Kim’s pupils that spins her out of control every time.

Trini tries to hide the severity of the moment by taking a sip of her coffee, wincing at the bitterness, but relishing in its warmth. She’s not sure who’s idea it was to sit in the park in the middle of November, but she’s fairly certain that her nose is never going to be warm ever again.

“Are you going to go out again?” she asks, once the scalding coffee has slipped down her throat.

Kim looks away. “I don’t know,” she says. “Maybe. If he asks.”

Quiet again.

And then Kim bumps Trini’s shoulder with her own. “The beanie actually makes more sense in the winter,” she jokes and the image of Jason pressing his hands into the graceful convex of Kim’s waist makes her swallow a little more thickly than usual.

.

Billy brings her some cookies that night, the kind you can find at every other grocery store. The somewhat chalky, sprinkled kind that mostly just taste like processed sugar and food dye.

It’s a nice thought and Trini eats three of them on the couch while Billy sits beside her and reads.

“Is this because Jason and Kimberly are dating now?” he asks and Trini doesn’t think there’s any point in answering because that’s all this has ever been about.

She likes Billy and his gentle voice, the way he’s always trying to perk everyone up, no matter what the circumstance. She especially likes how good he is at it.

“You should talk to Kimberly,” he says a little later and she’s got her head on his shoulder, feeling the way he moves as he chews one of those cookies. “Nothing else is gonna help.”

And of course he’s right. He’s Billy. And Billy is never wrong.

.

But the timing doesn’t seem right. She doubts that it ever really will.

Kim comes over that night–just hefts herself through Trini’s window like she sometimes does on nights when it’s late and she gets antsy, or when she can’t sleep and knows that Trini will be awake. It’s late and Trini is lying in her bed with the lamp off and the thing is, she’s so used to this at this point that she doesn’t even jump when she hears the window creak open.

(even though the first time it had happened, it had been enough to send her into some sort of Rita-induced PTSD flashback that had taken Kim twenty minutes to talk her down from)

“Sorry,” Kim mumbles, when she knocks a stack of drawings off of Trini’s desk and Trini jumps up to help her gather them.

“What are you doing here?” Trini asks, kneeling on the floor with Kim and pushing papers together like some sort of movie-script meet-cute.

Kim smiles at her sheepishly, her eyes dark in the shadows. “I wanted to see you,” she says and the words thump hotly through Trini’s veins even though the meaning is probably different than what she hears.

What she feels.

“Okay, weirdo,” she mutters, half-joking and then Kim is lying on the covers beside her in her bed.

They’re silent for a long time, Trini’s lip trembling as she tries to figure out the best way to out herself. To say, I want you to date me, not Jason . Without scaring Kim away.

But her confidence unfolds under Kim’s gaze and the feeling leaves her empty as fear creeps up her spine.

And then Kim reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezing her fingers gently. “What’s wrong with you?” she asks. “You’ve been weird lately.”

Trini doesn’t have a good answer for that, not one that has zero chance of sending Kim running into the night. She shrugs. “I’m okay.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Trini sighs, hating the way she feels dizzy and wired at the same time from the mere offer.

“No,” she says. “I’m good.”

Kim doesn’t buy it. She rolls her eyes and then stares Trini down so intensely that Trini has to pull her hand free in order to lessen the severity of the moment.

It’s a teen movie scene, but Trini isn’t the protagonist and by all laws of 90’s rom-coms, Kim should be in Jason’s room right now, sharing this moment with him and not the best friend that is probably in love with her. Maybe.

Because the protagonist should kiss the love interest here. It should be that great moment before the low point, when everything is going okay and then something happens. Something humiliating or just enough that it breaks them apart, that everything is bleak for about ten minutes of screen time before the grand romantic gesture–the running through the streets, the song on the jukebox, the big banner declaring their love.

Trini hates that sort of thing because big moments like that only happen after something awful.

It feels more like a misguided apology than an actual revelation.

For a second, she’s certain that Kim is looking at her lips–that they’re both leaning forward and that she’s moments away from what might be the greatest kiss of her life But–

Nothing happens. Either she pulls away or Kim does or all of it was imaginary in the first place.

“You can talk to me, you know,” Kim tells her, voice soft and careful as it blows through the air between them. “About anything.”

The prospect of it is meaningful, but Trini is fairly certain it would fall apart in practice.

What straight girl would be okay with their best female friend harboring some pretty intense feelings for them?

She has a lot of faith in Kim–this girl lying in bed with her in the dark, who crawled up the side of her house in the middle of the night to ask if she’s okay–but trust can only do so much.

.

It’s not two days later when Jason comes to her again.

“Okay,” he says, in the middle of the cafeteria, waiting for Trini to figure out if she wants strawberry or chocolate milk. Mostly, she’s trying not to look at him. The milk doesn’t matter. “So the movie thing was great, but we’ve gotta talk tonight. And…we’re okay around you guys, but alone? I don’t know. That’s what was so bad the first time.”

“I can’t help you talk, Jason,” she tells him.

She picks chocolate because she doesn’t want to look at anything pink right now.

“I can help you ask her out, I can tell you what kind of movies she likes, I can tell you that nine times out of ten, she’ll greet you by saying, ‘Wazz poppin’, but I can’t talk for you.”

Billy is sitting at the table and she loves him, she really does.

(hell, she loves all of them, and maybe that’s what’s screwing her over)

But he must hear that last part, because he smiles as they take their seats. “Actually,” he says, “you might be able to.”

.

“Can you guys tell me what the plan is again? Cause I’m pretty sure it’s stupid, but I want to be really sure, y’know?”

Trini glances over at Zack, sitting on Jason’s bed with this stupid smug look on his face.

She likes him sometimes, but not when he insists on being solely expository.

“So, I’ve got Jason hooked up with a couple microphones and this hidden chest harness for my GoPro and Trini is gonna monitor his date with Kimberly to make sure nothing awkward happens.”

“So…Would you call this a double date?” Zack asks, still smirking. “Or…I guess, a tricycle, maybe?”

Billy looks at him, confused, and then goes back to strapping the harness over Jason’s undershirt, where it’ll be hidden by his button-down and tie.

“Thanks for doing this again, Trini,” Jason says, beaming. “I…I just want tonight to go well. Third date and all.”

“Right.” She swallows around the bile in her throat. “Well, you know me. Resident Kim expert. Here to help.”

Her head is starting to pound and Kim isn’t supposed to arrive for another twenty minutes. There’s something to standing in this room with three boys, preparing one of them for a date with the girl she likes.

Maybe loves.

Or…Whatever.

Doesn’t matter.

Because Kim is her friend . Her best friend and she’s worked for it, so fucking hard for the past two months. She learned how to handle Kim on her own–learned her quirks and her habits–and she didn’t just ask her out on a date in an attempt to wing it and then beg someone else for help.

She doesn’t care, of course. Because if Jason makes Kim happy, then so be it.

She can be supportive.

Witness her being supportive. She feels her eyelid twitch.

Maybe she could fake food poisoning and guilt Kim into taking care of her like she did when she had a cold last month. Kim could make her that cheddar chicken noodle soup again and they watch bad reality TV in Trini’s bedroom and–

That sounds a lot like a date.

Maybe Jason should fake food poisoning.

“How do I look?” Jason asks, turning a little so they can see.

The camera is hidden well behind his tie, but Trini is skeptical on how they’ll even be able to see . Billy looks proud. He claps his hands together.

“Good,” she manages.

The doorbell rings and Jason waves her off to answer it so he can make sure his hair looks alright.

Kim looks beautiful and Trini immediately stops wondering why Jason wanted her to meet him here instead of him picking her up. Stops caring. Because Kim is wearing a skirt and Trini’s seen her legs before, of course, but it’s different like this somehow, in the low light of the cold evening.

She’s shivering too.

“Hi,” Trini says and Kim pushes her way inside.

“Hey,” she says in the foyer, the door still open a little. “Why are you here?”

Her tone is a little more uneven than usual, the inquisition raising up at the end and Trini frowns, trying to think of a good reason.

“Oh, well…being supportive,” she lies. “Zack and Billy are here too.”

Kim nods. “Is Jason ready?”

She seems tense, for some reason. Her shoulders are hiked up higher than usual and her tone is biting now, a little annoyed. Trini has no idea why.

“I think so.”

Silence descends and Trini sniffs, trying to break it, if only for a moment.

It hardly works.

“You look…wow,” she says and Kim brightens a little, her shoulders drooping.

Trini reminds herself that she shouldn’t hurt like this, because she’s doing this for Kim (and for the dizzying rush she gets every time Kim smiles at her now, but she’s trying not to factor that in right now).

“Thanks,” Kim says and her voice is low, hardly a whisper. “So do you.”

Her eyes drop down to inspect Trini’s outfit like she’s never seen it before, even though it’s the same thing she wore to school earlier. The moment is nearly too much. If Kim weren’t dressed and ready for a date with someone else, it would be overwhelming for a lot of reasons.

In any case, Jason comes in a second later and greets Kim with a boyish smile that makes Trini shrink into the corner soundlessly.

“You look great,” he says and Kim smiles–different than the one she’d sent Trini for her similar comment.

“Thank you,” she responds and then they’re out the door, Kimberly sending a little wave as they back out of the driveway and head towards town.

Trini watches them through the window and the moment is so stiff and unyielding for a second that she doesn’t even know what to do.

And then Billy says, “We should probably get ready, huh?” and the moment is broken.

Thankfully.

.

At least it’s not the pizza place again.

Granted, it’s still Italian food, but that’s pretty much the only kind of restaurants Angel Grove has anymore, as if Rita’s gold monster had had a vendetta against fast food chains or something.

She snorts at the thought of Jason taking Kimberly Hart on a third date to McDonald’s.

“What’s so funny, pip squeak?” Zack asks from the cramped back of her car. His knees are practically in his chest and Trini rolls her eyes at him.

“Nothing,” she says.

Billy has his laptop out and is hooking it up to the camera on Jason’s chest, to the microphone in the pocket of his shirt. “Do you need to be alone?” Billy asks her and she gives him a confused look. “When you woo her? That can get pretty personal.”

Her face flushes and Zack cackles in the back, slapping the seat with the flat of his hand for effect. “I’m not wooing her, Billy,” she says. “I’m just here if Jason needs to phone a friend.”

Billy shrugs and goes back to fiddling with his computer. “If you say so.”

Jason’s truck is in the parking lot of the restaurant, just three down from where Trini is parked. They can see through the windows, but not much further than the front entrance. Jason had held the door open for Kim as they’d gone in and she imagines them holding hands on the table top.

Her stomach twists.

“–sea this time of year,” comes Jason’s voice, suddenly, through the speakers of Billy’s computer.

Trini whips her head around to look and is immediately faced with the somewhat blurry image of Kim across a table. She has her elbow leaned on the tabletop, her chin rested prettily in her palm. Trini sucks in a breath and holds it.

“Yeah, that’s true,” she drawls, sounding bored. “Weather is funky like that.”

Trini smirks at her vocabulary and ignores the look Zack is giving her.

The silence between the two is palpable, even through a damn computer screen. It’s actually a little painful to witness and Trini starts to rethink her entire life leading up to this moment.

“This is not going well,” Billy cuts in as they watch their friends order their food and then return to sitting in silence.

Trini can’t look away from Kim, at the bored, taut expression on her face. The way she keeps looking to her left, where she assumes a window is sitting. She must be eager to leave and Trini feels bad, immediately, for the thrill this realization sends through her.

Suddenly, there’s a loud thump in the speakers and Billy glances at her.

“I think that’s your cue,” he says.

And, it is.

“I don’t think even you can fix this, Trin,” Zack says and she reaches back a hand to shove him just as Billy passes her the speaker they have attached to the tiny earpiece Jason is wearing.

“Hey, Jase,” she says into it and the image of Kim on the screen jostle, as though he’s been started. She rolls her eyes. “It’s me, weirdo. Act natural, or she’s gonna know something is up. Don’t just sit there, weirdo. This is awful. Ask how her day was.”

On the screen, she can see Kim move as Jason clears his throat. “So,” he starts, “how was your day?”

The smile she sends is blinding. “It was okay,” she says. “Coulda been worse. I could have been pushed off a cliff.”

Trini frowns at the reference, at the way it ignites her chest. It doesn’t make sense for to be bringing that up. Not unless Jason knows about their first meeting.

But he doesn’t.

Because he stays silent and then she says, “How was yours?”

“Okay,” he returns.

Silence again. Trini runs a hand through her hair.

“Jesus, dude,” she says into the speaker. “You’ve talked to humans before, right?”

He doesn’t answer, of course, because he can’t, but she hopes the point got across regardless.

“Ask about her interests, okay? Ask what her favorite movie is,” she suggests. “She’s gonna say Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but it’s really ClueTell her you like that movie if she does that, okay? She’ll probably do her Tim Curry impression. It’s cute. You won’t have to pretend to laugh.”

Jason is quiet for a second and then he follows orders.

Now, it’s not just Zack who’s staring at her. It’s Billy, too. And she knows why.

This is ridiculous and super masochistic, but she’s in too deep already. If she can’t have Kim, the least she can do is make sure that whoever does appreciates the right things.

True to form, Kim says Breakfast at Tiffany’s but brightens up the moment Jason mentions Clue. Her laugh is brilliant–this bright, white thing in Trini’s chest–when it comes through Billy’s laptop.

The conversation doesn’t last long enough to make the following silence less unbearable. Trini’s starting to think it’s always going to be back to square one.

Fortunately, their food arrives and that buys her some time.

Not much, but some.

“Dogs or cats?” Jason asks a couple minutes into their meal, as per Trini’s instructions and Kim cites back the answer Trini had already prepared him for verbatim.

For a moment, Trini is able to imagine that it’s her sitting across from Kim at that table, that they’re on their third date and there isn’t any weird tension. That things are perfect and Kim is smiling at her and Zack’s stupid, knowing looks are nowhere near her.

“Just fucking talk about something, man,” Trini says a little later, because she’s getting frustrated beyond reason, now.

It’s almost like Jason is trying to bomb this.

“This is nice,” Jason says. “I’m glad you decided to try this again. I know the first date was…weird.”

And–

There they go.

That doesn’t sound nearly as stilted as the rest of the conversations did.

Kim is nodding and running her fingers through the ends of her hair. Trini can hardly breathe at the sight. “Me too,” she says.

The silence is basically square one. Kim and Jason’s super weird reset button that gets pressed every thirty seconds.

“Can I ask, though,” Kim says and Billy glances over at her. Trini frowns at him, looks back at the screen. “What do you want this to be?”

Jason must wiggle or something because the camera jostles a little too violently and then slants to the side.

Zack tugs the speaker from Trini’s hand and says, “Yo, dude, you fucked the camera up,” into it.

Jason must hear, too, because he says, “I…Can you give me a second? My phone is buzzing.”

It definitely isn’t, and the frown Kim gives him is a good indicator that she knows it, but Jason gets up from the table anyway and Trini watches (sideways) as he pushes his way through the dining room and out the side door. When she looks up through the windshield, he’s there, barreling towards her car in shaky, frightened movements that almost seem over exaggerated.

She rolls the window down and Billy gets out of the car to adjust the camera.

“It’s like you want her to figure out I’m out here feeding you lines,” Trini tells him and Jason gives her this weird look she can’t interpret.

She doesn’t have the mental capacity for it right then.

“How am I supposed to answer that question?” he asks, sounding panicked.

Trini sighs. “You don’t know what you want from this?” she asks and Zack peeks his head around the chair, pressing his temple into hers, but she doesn’t push him away. “Why did you even ask her out, then?”

That, somehow, seems like a harder question for him. His eyes widen in alarm.

“Okay…” She sighs again and pushes her forehead to the steering wheel for a moment, thinking over her options. “Go back in,” she says. “Go in there and I’ll…I’ll help you, okay?”

Jason nods and Billy finishes fixing the camera.

“Thank you,” he half-whispers, and then he books it back inside.

“Sorry about that,” they hear over the laptop.

Kim smiles placidly. “Sure. Everything okay?”

Jason doesn’t respond, which must mean he nodded or something. “To answer your question,” he starts a second later, and Billy pushes the speaker into her hand again. Zack pulls his head away and then looks out the window.

Trini closes her eyes.

“To answer your question,” she repeats, buying him time like he’s thinking because she’s thinking. She’s lining up all her reasons in a row.

Because she shouldn’t have signed up for this. This stupid, pathetic third-wheel living where it’s almost like she’s on a date with Kim if she squints her eyes and tilts her head.

She’s not . Jason is.

Jason is on his third date with Kim, to be specific.

And that hurts more than she’ll ever be able to compromise.

She doesn’t know why he wants to date Kim, that’s part of the problem. But she has her own reasons. And she’ll never tell them to Kim, never say them out loud in any way that means anything. But maybe this is enough for now.

“I wanna be with you, Kim. I…I wasn’t sure for the longest time. I thought…I thought if I told myself enough times over that what I felt for you wasn’t real, then it couldn’t hurt me. You couldn’t hurt me, but…”

She trails off, and she’s not certain, but she doesn’t think she can hear Jason repeating her. She looks to Billy for help, but he doesn’t seem perturbed by it, which must mean nothing is wrong.

So she presses on.

“I think I’m the only person I can’t lie to. Not really. And I think you’re a close second,” she says. “I wanna be with you. Only you. For as long as you’ll have me. Because…because when I met you, it wasn’t anything special. Not that first time. But every time since then has been something else. You are something else. And I–”

Her voice cracks and her hands are shaking. Zack is breathing down her neck like he wants to reach out and comfort her, but doesn’t know enough to.

“I wanna go on a hundred bad dates with you. A thousand good ones. You’re worth every moment. Even the bad ones.” She takes a shaky breath and she can hear Jason on the other end.

She can hear him say, “This is what I was trying to tell you,” which is a good enough ending for what she’d been trying to say.

When she looks up at the screen, Kim is staring at what she assumes must be Jason’s head–that spot right above the actual camera–and her eyes are watering a little. If it’s something she can see through the pixelation, she gathers it must be a pretty emotional response.

“Yeah,” she says. “That’s enough for me.”

And then her eyes finally lock onto the camera. The same camera that’s supposed to be hidden, that she’s not supposed to know about.

“Where is she?” she asks and Trini’s heart beats out a confused, panicked tempo in her ears.

“What?” she asks, no one in particular.

“Outside,” Jason says. “She’s right outside.”

“Can she hear me?”

Trini whips her head over to look at Billy, who is staring at her expectantly. To look back at Zack who is also watching, also waiting.

Kim is looking into the camera at her and her mouth is opening like she’s going to say something–like she’s going to finish off whatever cruel joke this is.

She could hear her?

So, Trini does what she always does–that fun thing she’s never been fully proud of.

She opens her car door, gets out, and runs all the way home.

.

By the time she gets home, she can’t feel her legs, which she’d be worried about, but she can’t even wrap her mind around anything other than the memory of Kim’s voice saying, can she hear me, can she hear me, can she hear me. Her front porch light is off and her parents are upstairs no doubt, her brothers in bed already.

Trini doesn’t want to go inside. Can’t even bring herself to it.

She slumps down on the porch and closes her eyes, grits her teeth, tries to focus.

Kim had heard her say all of that. Jason had somehow turned whatever radio connection that had into some sort of grand public humiliation event. She’d guess, based on Zack and Billy’s looks that they’d known, too. That they’d known it was coming.

Jason must have figured out her feelings for Kim and decided to teach her a lesson. It was only a matter of time.

Her hands tremble.

“Trini!”

And Kim–always Kim–is running down the street after.

That grand romantic gesture she never wanted, because it means the other person messed up. Because it means things are far from perfect.

Trini stands up, fists balled at her side, and wills herself not to cry. “What do you want?” she snarls. “Come to get a good laugh?”

Kim steps back from where she’s stopped in front of her and it’s unfair that Trini aches for her to come back immediately, to be closer. “I’m not here to laugh at you, Trini,” she says, but it’s not convincing.

“Oh, sure.”

She turns on her heel, intent on going inside to hide away from all of this. To possibly stop being a person forever.

Sorry to inform you that Trini’s existence has been cancelled altogether. Thank you for your understanding .

“Trini!” Kim says and Trini is drawn to her. Always. She stops walking halfway up the porch steps, but she doesn’t turn around. Not yet. “Why did you run?”

“Why do you think , Kim?”

She can practically see the cogs moving in Kim’s head, the way she starts to put things together. Still, it takes her a minute.

“Jason meant well, I think! He…I didn’t know what he was doing. I thought he just–”

She cuts herself off and then laughs, a little self-deprecating and Trini finally turns.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“I’m…” Kim looks beautiful in the streetlight, in the harsh light of the moon above them–dark hair haloed somehow. Trini scoffs and crosses her arms. “I…Did you mean all that stuff? The stuff you said?”

“No,” Trini says immediately. “I was just helping Jason.”

Kim quirks an eyebrow and takes one solid step forward. “You didn’t mean any of it?”

Trini shrugs and looks away. The trees in her yard are far more interesting.

“Jason…I told him, that first date when things got all weird, that I thought I knew the reason why it felt wrong…And he offered to talk to me about it just so I could…I don’t know, process I guess. I think I only said yes to him out of expectation. I think he only asked me out of expectation. We…We’re better as friends. We’d be a dating disaster.”

Trini wants to say that she’s pretty sure her and Kim are already off to a worse start.

“And I know why now,” Kim continues. “Because…Because I want all that stuff with you, too. Every part of it. You’re…You’re the one I want to be with, Trini. If you’ll have me.” When Trini doesn’t answer, she barrels on with defenses, with excuses. “I guess…It’s super fucked up, but Jason was trying to help, I think. I told him that I didn’t think you had a clue about this… thing… between us, and I think he wanted to help you realize it’s there, too.”

She smiles and Trini fights the urge to return it.

The whole thing is fucked up. And sure, Jason and her might have meant well by it–Zack and Billy, too, no doubt because they’d absolutely had to have been a part of this–but…

Kim takes another step forward and the toe of her shoe bumps into the bottom of the steps. “I didn’t know what he was doing until he came back in and…and he told me to listen and…Trini, I would never–”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Trini snaps, cutting her off. She knows how that sentence was going to end. “I’m gonna kick his ass. We don’t live in an episode of Friends. I thought…I thought I was never going to get a chance with you.”

Her fists are still clenched and she’s shaking and she can’t even really process her anger because she’s feeling too many things, holding them all in.

“You could have just talked to me about this. You didn’t need to go to a guy you just fucking went on a date with.”

“That’s bullshit, Trini!” Kim fires back, angry. “You…I thought you were either being a bitch about it or were just super naive. I thought it was obvious what was happening between us and you just…refused to acknowledge it. What was I supposed to think? I didn’t want to lose you!”

The words are harsh in the cool night air and Trini is certain right then that her and Kim might break each other apart a hundred times over before they ever start to fix each other back up.

“No more secrets between us if we’re going to do this, okay? I…I come to you and you come to me and that’s how it’s gotta work.”

Trini’s mind sticks to the if we’re gonna do this part, playing on an endless loop as she stands there.

“From now on, we talk to each other. Deal?” Kim says this with some degree of feeling Trini has never felt for herself.

She shakes her head. “Deal.”

They’re silent for a moment, but a different silence than that awkwardness during her and Jason’s not-date.

“Cards on the table–did you mean all of that? About wanting everything?” Kim asks. “Even the bad moments?”

Trini stares at her in disbelief for a moment and then smiles, tiny and afraid. She takes a step down, closer, hovering just by Kim and murmurs, “Of course I do, you idiot,” and Kim leans up, closer to Trini’s face, closer and closer until she’s all Trini can see and feel and know.

And her lips brush against Trini’s cheek, then jaw.

Trini’s arms come uncrossed and then her hands are on Kim’s shoulders, fingers tightened in her jacket and Kim presses those lips to her jaw one more time as Trini tugs her up, whispering, “Trini,” so quietly it nearly gets lost as Trini finally kisses her and lets her grip loosen.

.

Zack’s, “Where’s my thank you?” gets him a punch in the gut right there in the middle of the hallway the next day at school. Billy gets a half-glare (because it’s impossible to be mad at him) and Jason gets the cold shoulder for half the day and a couple of well-timed, vulgar hand gestures when she catches him throwing his puppy dog eyes her way.

Kim gets three kisses before lunch and a couple of admonishing comments whenever Trini passes one of the boys in the hallway.

“Punish me, too,” Kim says. “I’m just as bad.”

She means it seriously, but too much time around Zack twists the comment in Trini’s head and she wiggles her eyebrows until Kim kisses her again, right against their shared locker.

At lunch that day, Jason slides a note over that just says, A wild apology appears! Jason uses SORRY I FUCKED UP.

She rolls her eyes at him, but it’s hard to stay mad when he so desperately needs a haircut–when the ends of his bangs are starting to curl by his eyes.

A couple minutes later, she steals his pre-packaged cookie and Kim is holding her hand under the table, so when he says, “It’s super effective!” she lets it slide.

It’s not ineffective .

.

She doesn’t really forgive Jason.

Tells him as such that next day at training and then sidesteps a putty so that he gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

“Yeah, I um…” he says later, with a bloody nose and one hand messing through his hair. “I guess I deserve that, huh? That was…really…”

Bad , Trini wants to finish.

Later, though, it’s hard to remember why she was ever angry in the first place when Kim has her pressed into her bedroom door once they get to her house, before it’s even fully closed. By that point Jason is nowhere even close to her thoughts.

(nothing regarding him really is, actually)

.

Still, though, it’s basically the worst way they could have ever gotten together.

One of them, anyway. But Trini figures it had to happen sometime.

And at least it didn’t start on a Thursday.

Light of My Life

A Shawn Mendes one-shot.

 – 

 "No no no no no. No.” 

 With a groan, I hit Shawn on the shoulder, signalling for him to shut up and turn off his alarm that blared through our hotel room. He shut the alarm off and trapped my hand between his arm and his chest, continually whining about how much he didn’t want to get up from the nap we had just taken. 

“I love naps so much, Shawn.” I muttered, nuzzling my head in the crook between his shoulder and the bed. The setting sun peaked through the closed blinds of our hotel room and directly across Shawn’s bare chest. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. “Why are you so hot?” I muttered. Shawn let out a sleepy laugh and kissed my knuckles. 

 “I really don’t want to get up, babe.” he sighed. I propped my head up on his chest to get a good look at him. His eyes looked tired, and his hair was wonderfully fluffy and curly from sleep. 

 “Me neither Shawn. I’m still hungover from last night.” I complained. Shawn laughed.  

 “That’s because you drink those girly drinks filled with sugar that make you extra hungover.” he replied. I gave him a look.  

 “I hate the word girly, Shawn. Nothing is specifically for girls.” I reminded him. Shawn laughed as he finally sat up from bed and put his feet on the floor.

 “Tampons?” he suggested. I hit him on his back as he looked over his shoulder at me with a grin. 

 “Smartass. How long until the concert? Can’t I just be a bad girlfriend and sleep more instead of coming?” I asked through a yawn. Shawn laughed as he stood up, shaking his head. 

 “No. The concert’s in three hours. We have to head down to the stadium.” he said, pulling a shirt over his head. I groaned again and finally got out of bed, sliding into my high waisted black skinny jeans and changing my shirt. I looked in the mirror and wiped the mascara that had smudged in my sleep from under my eye and did a nice Dutch braid down my back. When I was finally ready, I turned to see Shawn watching me with a grin as he sat at the end of our bed.  

“You’re a creep,” I sang the tune of Radiohead’s “Creep” to him as I found my shoes, “You’re a loser, what the hell are you doing here?” I continued, laughing through my singing at the look he was giving me with my song. 

 “Are you done?” he asked. I grinned and kissed his fluffy hair, before leading the way to the Jeep.

  *

 The venue was huge, and soon to be completely filled with people screaming Shawn’s name. I tagged along at a distance as Shawn got dressed in his concert outfit and sat in the stands while he rehearsed and everything got set up.  

 “I think I’ll watch from the stands tonight.” I told him later from backstage as people started filing into their seats. Shawn met my eye through his dressing room mirror.  

 “You realize that people out there know who you are, right?” he reminded me. I shrugged. 

 “I’ll wear a disguise or something.” I replied. Shawn laughed and turned to face me. 

 “A disguise?” he clarified. I cracked a grin and shrugged as my way of saying yes. Shawn laughed again and stood up, brushing by me to get to the clothes kept in the back of the room. He gathered a few things, and then dumped them in my arms with a wide grin. I shook my head and laughed, putting the clothes onto a chair to sift through them. A pair of his sunglasses, his baseball hat, his iHeart Radio sweatshirt. “We’ll make you look like a bro.” He laughed. 

 "A bro sitting front row at a Shawn Mendes concert? Sounds a little out of character.“ I laughed, putting on the sweatshirt. Shawn grinned and went behind me, taking my hair out of it’s braid and putting it in a bun at the nape of my neck. He kissed just below my ear, before sliding on the hat backwards. I put the sunglasses on and we both looked at me in the mirror. "I look ridiculous.” I laughed. Shawn smiled and kissed my cheek. 

 "Well, you usually look stunning, so definitely nobody will recognize you.“ He said, grinning. I rolled my eyes.

 "Alright, it’s showtime.” I laughed. Shawn pointed a stern finger at me as we left the dressing room. 

 "No laughing, babe. It’s sounds like sunshine. Bros don’t laugh like sunshine.“ He reminded me. I grinned and cleared my throat, repeating a laugh but in a lower, manly tone. Shawn cracked up in the hallway as we made our way toward the stage, crew going by giving us strange looks. 

 "Ok, I’ll see you out there. You’ll kill it babe, I love you.” I said. We could hear the crowd from where we stood. Shawn bit his lip and nodded, the pre-show jitters coming in as he ducked to kiss me. 

 "I love you too, bro. Let security know who you are in case you get recognized and have to slip away, alright?“ He said. I nodded, kissed his chin because it was the only place I could reach without difficulty, and made my way to the stands. 

 Seeing Shawn perform from the perspective of a fan was completely different than from backstage. Backstage, I could only ever see the side of him as he sang. This way, I could see the emotion and passion on his face, the way his cheeks flushed and his forehead brimmed with sweat as he went through his songs. He made eye contact with me multiple times and his grin would widen. I could tell he was trying not to laugh. 

 "Alright, thank you guys so much. Before we get to our next song though, I want to bring a very special lady onto the stage. She’s very close to my heart.” Shawn paused between songs, the crowd going wild at his words. He grinned down at me as I shook my head in disbelief. He was going to get me to go on stage while I looked like a man. “I mean, she looks a little different tonight so maybe you didn’t recognize her. Babe, come on up. Don’t be shy.” He continued, coming to the edge of the stage and beckoning me with his hand. Security let me onto the other side of the barricade, keeping screaming fans at bay as I kept shaking my head at him, mouthing how much I hated him in that moment. He just kept grinning, so I took his hand and climbed up on stage with a little bit of difficulty. Shawn was smiling so wide, his cheeks full and red. 

 "I hate you so much.“ I told him. Shawn laughed and turned to the crowd. 

 "She says she hates me.” He told them. I could hear laughter mixed with screams. I shook my head, laughing, and took off the shades and the hat, letting out my hair again. The screams increased. “Guys, isn’t she beautiful? Look at her.” He cooed, fiddling with his earpiece with on hand while the other wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him. He was warm and sweaty, but I didn’t mind. Was it bad that he looked really sexy covered in sweat? Shawn gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Alright, I just wanted to embarrass her a little. And I think it worked. I also may have written this next song about her, though, so…” he trailed off, grinning again at the roar of the crowd. I blushed and shook my head at him, biting my lip. He directed me to a stool on the centre of the stage and switched guitars. “This one’s called Light of My Life.” He said into the mic. I shook my head and blushed already, just at the title.

 I always loved watching Shawn play the guitar. He started the song with a couple of riffs, and made the pouty face he always made when he got really into it, making me grin. After a while, his voice came in, too, sweet like honey. The lyrics were about how tough things got when he was always on the road and wrapped up in his job, but that there was always this girl to keep him grounded, to keep him light and remind him not to take himself so seriously. I was swooning, absolutely head over heels in love with this guy. For the last verse, he got playfully close to my face, and ended with a kiss on my cheek, laughing when I scrunched up and pushed him away. The crowd was nearly deafening. 

I stood from the stool and wrapped my arms around his neck, putting my hands in his sweaty hair to pull him down to my height and kiss him repeatedly on the side of his head. “I love you, Shawn.” I whispered in his ear. He grinned down at me and pressed his forehead against mine for only a moment. 

 "I love you too.“ He replied just as softly, forgetting that his microphone was projecting his voice across the whole venue. He blushed even deeper when the crowd all aww’d, the tips of his ears turning a delicate shade of pink. I squeezed his hand, waved to the crowd, and disappeared backstage, unable to conceal my grin the rest of the night.

 – 

 Hey home boys, I sincerely apologize for not getting to your requests. I haven’t been the best mentally so I haven’t been writing too much, and I just haven’t really been in an Eddie-phase as of late. I will get to them though! I promise!! I have, however, developed a cripplingly enormous crush on Shawn Mendes. Hopefully you guys can appreciate this bean with me. Love you guys so so much!! Let me know if you want more Shawn :) xoxo

Originally posted by shxwnmendess

Babyface. Part 3

Part One: Here

Part Two: Here

Masterlist: Here

Tagging: @fandomfreak202, @blondekel77, @winchestergirl907

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Super late Reinzo for @vermillionsketcher. Or is it???


“I must admit, anija. I am both flattered, and equally surprised you’re asking me for help with this.”

Hanzo glared across the countertop at his brother, who was all smiles. Or, at least, he had an indescribable feeling that Genji was just sneering at him. “Yes, well. Tradition.” He replied, before looking back down at his work.

Tradition, anija? Since when have you been so adamant on celebrating this one?” Genji teased, although he was working on something himself. When he looked over, he let out a small ‘tsk-tsk’, wagging a finger. “Too much heat. The water shouldn’t be boiling– you can burn the chocolate. Or have it seize. Start again.”

Hanzo huffed– but Genji was the expert here. He brought his pot to the sink, careful to dump out the water before refilling it and starting anew. “… Thank you, Genji.” He muttered, before looking over the instructions he’d been given again. Whether he was so entranced by them, or if it were the cyborg’s feather-light footsteps, the archer didn’t realize that Genji was right beside him, reaching out to hold his cheeks gently.

“He makes you happy, doesn’t he anija?” Genji asked, all teasing put aside. Hanzo looked over surprised, before his features melted as well.

“Just as much as the cowboy does you.” Genji chuckled, before shrugging his shoulders. “There, does this look good?”

The younger of the two looked over before slapping Hanzo’s shoulder. “Much. Now, remember to keep stirring and sift out the sugar. Don’t want any clumps.” Genji noted, before heading back to his side of the counter. “You know, Hanzo, I thought you were supposed to give back gifts that were worth more than what you got. What on earth did Reinhardt give you that a few handmade chocolates would equal that?”

Hanzo froze mid-sift, before glaring. “It is not a value of money, Genji. Reinhardt has given me much more than just material things. I wanted to repay him with something from the heart.”

“Ah, right. I forgot. I don’t have one of those anymore– you know. Half-machine.” Genji teased, only to get a small handful of sugar thrown his way. “Hey! You’ll ruin the balance of mine!”

Hanzo chuckled, ducking as Genji lobbed a bit of flour his way. “I asked for your help, not your lip.” He said back, ducking behind the counter as the both of them shared a laugh, tossing powder back and forth. 


“Oh, sweethardt~” Hanzo called. He approached the German with hands behind his back, leaning up to plant a small kiss on the man’s jawline.

“Oh–? You look like you’ve gotten up to some mischief.” Reinhardt said back with a little grin, brushing out some flour from the archer’s hair. “Where have you been all day?”

Bonding.” Hanzo scoffed, shaking a little more out. “And baking. Here.” He brought his hands out from behind himself, holding a small box. Neatly wrapped and barely bigger than a shoebox, the Shimada let Reinhardt take it gently.

“Bah, little dragon, what is this?” Reinhardt asked, leaning down to return the kiss from earlier.

“Tradition.” Hanzo replied, watching the man carefully unwrap the bow, as if ripping or tearing the packaging would be rude. “It’s… a silly thing. But one month after Valentine’s we celebrate White Day, and well I’ve never really held to it but–”

“Delicious! You made this yourself?” Reinhardt asked, popping a chocolate into his mouth. “And where on earth did you get little lion shapers?”

Hanzo couldn’t help but swell with pride. “Again, Genji. He– he helped a lot. You really like them?” 

“Of course! Moreso because you made them– did you even try one?” Reinhardt asked, popping another into his mouth. Hanzo shook his head.

“No, I was so focused on the creation that I–” He started, although his words were cut off when Reinhardt gripped the back of his head, feeding him a chocolate via his tongue. Hanzo felt his face flush, although he accepted the “gift” eagerly, letting his own tongue flit against the German’s for a moment before they pulled away. 

Not half bad.

“Come.” Reinhardt said, closing the top of the box before taking Hanzo’s hand. “I would like to show you another tradition. This one I call ‘chocolate in the bedroom’.”

Hanzo couldn’t stop the snort from escaping him– although he followed along with a new bounce in his step.

Hurt/Comfort prompt for Andreil: “Can you [please] come get me?” for @turtlelino

Neil was soaked by the time he returned to the dorms. His morning run was a sweat-inducing workout with the summer temperatures already in the high 80s by the time he hit the pavement. To make matters worse the storm that had been threatening to break for the past day abruptly became a downpour, torrential rains slamming into Neil as he raced back to Fox Tower. He shivered in the building’s arctic air conditioning and took the elevator up to his floor. His shoes were soggy and made annoying squishing noises as he plodded down the hall. He retrieved the key from the lanyard around his neck and let himself in.

Andrew had left a note on the fridge explaining that he was going out to pick up a few things that they needed. Neil was slightly concerned that Andrew hadn’t bothered waiting for him but he pushed that feeling aside and headed for the shower, leaving his sopping clothes in a puddle on the floor. The hot water felt good and Neil let himself relax, enjoying the pulse of the steady water pressure against his tight muscles. He stole some of Nicky’s citrus shampoo and Kevin’s body wash.  Andrew had complained that they all ended up smelling the same but Neil didn’t really get why it mattered. As long as they were clean.

Neil dried off and wrapped the towel around himself and dashed to the bedroom. It had taken months of living with the guys before he felt comfortable enough to do that but he only did it when he was 100% sure that no one would see him.

Andrew still was not back. Neil pulled on some sweats and one of Andrew’s black T-shirts. He picked up a paperback Andrew had left on the window ledge, something about a holistic detective agency, but he couldn’t focus. Where was Andrew?

Neil hunted around the room for his phone, finding it under the bed and completely drained of battery. He searched for the charger and got it plugged in, waiting impatiently until he could power it back on. He had one missed call. From Andrew. And one voicemail. With trembling fingers Neil tapped at the phone until he could hear Andrew’s voice, low and tense: “Can you come get me?”

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Check To The Heart (Part 7/?)

Bucky x Reader

Modern day Hockey AU

SUMMARY: You are the daughter of one of the greatest hockey players to ever play the game, now as owner of the Avengers, he is bringing your childhood crush Bucky Barnes to the team.  The minute he sees you in your father’s office, you can tell by the smirk on his face he hadn’t forgot about your crush either.  This is going to be fun.

CTTH Masterlist


You stand in the hallway between the home and visitor locker rooms, you pick at your jersey and smile to yourself.  You were so proud of your boys, you wonder for a brief moment if they were going to continue their post win traditions.  A door opening broke through your thoughts, you turn in excitement toward the home locker room only to see the door hadn’t moved an inch.  The visitor door however was being pushed closed by none of other than Grant Ward.

“Well well well, if it isn’t the prettiest hockey heiress in the league.”  Ward gave you a smirk and walked toward you, and you take a step back, your body hitting the cement wall behind you.

You roll your eyes and turn away from him.  The last thing you wanted was to talk to Grant. Before he could open his mouth again, Steve and Bucky exited the locker room, both wearing black suits.  Bucky eyes found you immediately and he walked towards you with an excited grin on his face.  Steve however, noticed Ward first. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What? Can’t a guy visit old friends?  Barnes it’s good to see you.  How’s Dot, bet you can’t wait to get her out here for a visit.” The smile Ward gave Bucky was anything but friendly.  He looked over to your confused expression.

“Oh dear, did he not tell you about Dot?”  Grant gave you a smile and turned towards Bucky again.  At first you had thought Bucky was going to hit him.  Bucky gave him a lazy grin instead and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, leading you away.  Bucky seeing the look on Steve’s face decided to let him handle Grant.

“Grant why don’t you take your loser ass and get the hell out of my arena.”  Grant smirked at Steve’s pissed off expression.  Steve was known as the golden boy of the NHL.  He could do no wrong and was a friend to everyone, at least that’s what it seemed.

Ward began walking toward the exit but not before getting one more dig in, “Wonder what the media would say if they heard their golden boy talking like this.  We play you again in a month Rogers, better watch your back.”


The ride in the elevator to your office was silent.  Bucky hadn’t removed his arm from your shoulders and had no intention of letting you go.  Your mind was running wild with questions.  Who was Dot?  Did Bucky have someone back home?  Was history repeating itself?  You wanted so desperately to ask him, but truth be told you were scared.   What if you misread the situation you had found yourself in.  What if he just wanted to be friends?

You hadn’t realized you had arrived at your office until you felt Bucky’s arm slip off your shoulders, his hand finding yours, entwining your fingers.  You walk into your office, leading him with you.   You sit in your office chair releasing his hand much to his disappointment, while he sat on the small couch to the side of your desk.

You roll your office chair towards him and cross your legs, “Congratulations on your win.  That sure was some goal.”

Bucky can tell you want to ask, he admired your restraint. “Thanks sweetheart.  Because I know you want to know…Dot…She was a girl I was seeing when I played for Hydra, I haven’t been with her in almost a year.  We stayed friends after we split. Ward - he knows how I feel about you that’s the only reason he brought her up.  He wanted to piss me off, ruin my chances with you.”

You watch Bucky as he speaks, you can tell he isn’t really aware that he is confessing his feelings to you, his anger getting the best of him.  You giggle a bit when he finally finishes, drawing his attention.  Giving you a slight smile he fixes his gaze on you, “What’s so funny sweetheart?”

“You.  For the record, Grant didn’t ruin your chances with me.  He probably wanted to piss me off too.  It’s what he does best.  You also didn’t have to tell me about Dot.”  You give him a smile watching his expression change from a slight smile to a broad one.

He leans forward on the couch slightly, grabbing the arms of your office chair and pulled it towards him so you’re crossed legs are nestled between his slightly open ones.  He subconciously licks his lips, leaning even closer to you, his hands holding his weight as moves toward you.

“Why are you so great? Seriously sweetheart. You’re amazing.  I can’t believe I just let you -”  Bucky ducks his head down, cutting himself off.

“Let me what?”  You look at him hoping and praying that he was going to do what you hoped he would do.  All those feelings you had for Bucky when you were kids hit you like brick wall.  The man in front of you looked every bit the teenage boy in his gym uniform you fell for so long ago.  You just wished you were braver then, maybe things would have been different.

He lifted his head, the corner of his lips turning up in a smile, “Get away.  I won’t let that happen a second time.”

You feel his breath on your lips, you lean forward just an inch, you wanted him, there was no denying that, but you were gonna make him work for it.  He locks eyes with you and leans forward.

“Y/n are you okay?  Don’t let that idiot– What’s going on in here?”  Steve had walked into your office not bothering to knock.  Bucky lets out a groan and plops back on the couch, hitting his head against the back of the sofa repeatedly.  Steve gives you an embarrassed, but apologetic smile.  

You huff and grab your purse, standing from your chair, and pushing past Steve, “Nothing’s going on anymore.  Come on let’s go get some dinner.”

Bucky stands as well giving Steve a glare as he follows you out of your office.  Steve gives Bucky a pleading look, before following behind him shutting your office door, “Sorry!!! I should’ve knocked.  Guys wait up!”


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Impossible Year

32,032 words
amazing art by @hamabee 

an ode to my love for annabeth chase
inspired by the song impossible year by panic! at the disco

shout out to @percyyoulittleshit and @falloutside for organising the @pjohoobigbang and inspiring me to write my longest one-off fic to date, and thanks to @spooky-son-of-rome for betaing, and to @percyyoulittleshit and @lililibird for being honorary betas and fab cheerleaders, i love you all

and thanks to @hamabee. hannah, i honestly couldn’t have done this without you. from the very idea of it through to individual scenes and just general support, none of this would have happened without you. your art is absolutely incredible, your talent is endlessly inspiring and i can’t thank you enough for coming on this months-long journey with annabeth and i. i love you.




It starts and ends with this: “Together.”

Annabeth stares at Percy, and Percy stares at Annabeth.

They’re searching for something that they aren’t even sure exists anymore. They’re so unrecognisable now that they’ve started to forget who they were, before.

She feels his fingers twitch in hers, registers that she’s probably holding his hands too tightly but acknowledges that she doesn’t want to let go just yet. She’s sitting in his lap, their hands clasped between them, and both of them are crying.

She knows that he doesn’t want to let go yet, either. Because once they let go, it’s done. They are done.

Annabeth takes a deep breath, one that rattles her very bones, feels her heart beating wildly in her chest, feels her stomach churning and her mouth going dry. She licks her lips.

Percy watches, and she thinks about kissing him. You know, to say goodbye.

Instead, she closes her eyes. She counts to ten, and then she tells herself to be brave. She opens her eyes.

Gods, he looks as sad as she feels.

Which is part of the problem - maybe the whole problem, actually. Together was what had gotten them through Tartarus, what had given them the strength to claw their way out and then to keep on fighting through everything that had come after.

But they’re out, now, back at camp and physically safe and yet all they seem to do is keep dragging each other back down there.

Together.

“Not anymore.”

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