it looks like a hunk of cheese

Voltron Swears

·        Pidge and Keith probably have the biggest potty mouths

Like Pidge has very colourful language, and uses a variety of curses at random

It freaks out the rest of the team because she’s so small, and the language she uses can be so vulgare at times

Lance and Hunk laugh whenever she swears around the team; Shiro is appalled.

  Like how could one so smol and innocent be able to curse like a sailor!

·    Keith doesn’t really care either way   His own foul language is mostly composed of the word ‘fuck’, which he uses frequently in different tones depending on the situation

Like when his lion gets hit, or he loses a round in training, it’s a short and angry ‘Fuck’

When he’s pissed off at someone it’s a loud burst ‘FUCK off!’ or ‘Fuck you!’ that makes the rest team jump in alarm

When he’s annoyed it’s a drawn out ‘fuuuckk’

And when it’s Lance nuzzling at his neck it’s a soft, mumbled ‘fuck’

He also flips people/aliens off a lot, and will often end a conversation by holding up two middle fingers and walking backwards out of a room

·        Shiro doesn’t really swear, out loud anyways.

He curses a lot in his head though, but has a really good poker face, so no one ever knows what he’s thinking

Besides “patience yields focus”

He almost lost it a few times with Slav though

·        Hunk tends to swear only when he’s in really stressful situations, but they aren’t actual swears

They’re more like utterances of ‘darn’ and ‘crap’

It’s hilarious and Lance will nearly piss himself laughing whenever he “curses”

Hunk once dropped a plate of space goo and muttered ‘oh for craps sake’ and Shiro, absolutely straight faced, said “Language Hunk.”

Everyone went silent, and Hunk looked ready to die of embarrassment not knowing if Shiro was being serious or not

But then Keith, of all people, began to chuckle, and the gig was up

Now whenever Hunk curses they all go “Language Hunk,” and Shiro mumbles something about a ‘swear jar’

·        Lance also tends not to swear, seeing as he came from a large family with smaller children

He tends to use playful expressions like ‘what the cheese’ and things like that

There are times, however, when he’ll switch to Spanish, which is like, level two anger for Lance

He can string long Spanish curses together and go on a rant whenever he feels the need, and it’s entertaining to watch, seeing as he’s very expressive with his hands, but also a bit intimidating, since none of them know what he’s saying

Sometimes he’ll just spout a bunch of random words to make his rant a little more impressive

He’ll also murmur Spanish curses whenever he and Keith go at it, which Keith loves, since it means Lance is in an entirely different world of pleasure

Level three swears for Lance are scary.

Like, he is pissed off.

When Lance uses actual swear words you know you done fucked up

·        Allura and Coran swear as well, but in Altean, so the others don’t really know what they’re saying (like with Lance)

Coran uses his curses efficiently, sticking them into conversation wherever he feels they’re needed

Allura, on the other hand, is much like Pidge, and has an impressive vocabulary when it comes to curse words

Coran is used to it for the most part, but there are times when she gets really mad and he has to remind himself that, yes, she is a princess, and not some ruffian raised in a bar

The others pick up certain words as well, and use them randomly, which is all very comical, until Lance accidently called an important diplomat a word he heard Allura use once, and said diplomat happened to know the Altean language.

Needless to say Allura had to do some extensive ass-kissing to make up for that one

Coran decided to teach tell them what the words meant after that, and the team had never seen Lance go so red

Keith still makes fun of him for it

It’s Your Daddy’s Birthday, Sweetie

Summary: It’s Sam’s birthday and your daughter and her uncle have a surprise for him
Words: 1k
Sam x Reader, Dean, Katie (OC)
Warnings: fluffs

Daddy!Sam ‘Verse - Masterpost

Kisses pressed to the knob of your spine and across your shoulder roused you from your peaceful sleep.

You hummed contentedly, letting your eyes flutter open to take in the dim light of your bedroom in the morning, the small windows at the top of your walls doing their best to let natural light flood the room.

“Happy Birthday, babe,” you murmured as Sam rolled you onto your back, kissing your exposed collarbone. “You’re old, now.”

He laughed softly, pulling back and smiling down at you.

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Domestic Headcanons

Have some painfully domestic headcanons… 

Bathroom
Everyone in the castle clearly shaves. Imagine Pidge sitting on a bench trying to shave her legs getting frustrated by the fact that the space raisor she’s using is cutting her now and then and Lance and Keith turning their attention to her and wincing in sympathy when they realize she’s going with the grain instead of against. Lance taking on the roll of big brother and shaking his head sitting down beside her. Keith getting a comical show out of the corner of his eye as he teaches the youngest paladin the way women are suppose to shave. Keith idly commenting on how it’s strange Lance would know that. Lance firing back how he has sisters, but then also admitting to shaving his underarms because why not? Hunk casually joining the fray looking at them all and telling them they’ll all weird as heck and they’re the best weirdos he’s ever known. Then telling them they have wax and why shave when you can wax? 

Pidge: Wait so I’m suppose to pull the razor toward me?
Lance: Yeeees. 
Pidge: That makes way more sense.
Hunk: Or you could just wax.
Pidge: No thanks I like having skin.
Keith: I’m with Pidge on this. Question is what are you waxing? You know what, forget I asked. I don’t want to know.

Foodies
Besides Hunk, other paladins do know how to cook. They just know how to cook differently. Pidge likes to improvise and sticks to cold dishes that utilize fruits and vegetables. She’s not a vegetarian per se as space doesn’t allow her that choice, however, it’s convenient not to have to cook. Keith is proficient with fish and stew related dishes. Though he’s known for catching any old thing deboning it and frying it. You might be eating space rat, but you’d never known because he know’s how to make it look appealing. Years in the desert will do that for a man. Lance is the king of all things tapas. Orderves and fancy little square cubes of cheese and the like. Also spices the man can spice anything just right. He flocks to light snacks and prepping them while a little time consuming is hella rewarding when people tell him how pretty it looks. Shiro bless the man knows how to make a solid hoagie! Bow down to the mightiest of all sandwiches as this man is gonna blow your socks off with the most stacked thing you’d ever seen. Though he’s known for his subs as well. If it’s a sandwich he probably influenced it somehow. He’s also got his special sauce Hunk can’t even place. Now that’s something! 

Hunk: Is that … a tail?
Keith: It’s edible. 
Lance: Well then uhm I’m just gonna leave this here.
Pidge: Did that just move?
Keith: Come on, I cooked it. It’s dead.
Hunk: Y’all ain’t allowed near the kitchen anymore.
Pidge: Hey you never even tried my food don’t ban me!

Sick days
Each of the paladins have their own methodology to curing what hurts most. Shiro’s preferable to getting those electrolytes up. Tons of sleep and ordering bed rest whether you want it or not. Keith’s a little less hands on, you might not see him while you’re sick. In fact he might be more scarce, but when you’re not looking tissue boxes, or items requested will arrive while you’re not looking. He slips in and out like a ninja posing as a nurse. You’ll even find a scribbled get well note somewhere by your bedside. Pidge is a germaphobe. If you thought keith was missing Pidge is nonexistent. She’ll send someone else in her stead with soup or tissues whatever the person needs. She’ll lend a tablet/communicator to the person so they can stay in touch, but under no circumstances is she going in there to get whatever you got going on. Hunk’s got your back, he’s there for you with soup, he’s the man making most the soup. Soup cures everything, if not that then a heating pad. Depending on what you need being an engineer helps too because he’s able to come up with some pretty soothing techniques or devices to work out whatever ales. Lance is the most compassionate, which is saying something considering how hands on Hunk is. He too will concoct foods to mend the ill although most are traditional recipes from his grandmother. He goes the extra step by giving shoulder rubs, back massages, or just sitting by your bed side and reassuring you you’re not dying from the plague. 

Keith: Is this suppose to make my throat burn more? Also why am I so itchy?
Lance: That means it’s working.
Hunk: Uh, Lance?
Pidge: Pretty sure that means he’s allergic.
Lance: I’m so sorry.
Keith: [Too sick to even be angry.]
Pidge: Come on, healing pod for you now. Ew… sweaty. [Trying not touch touch exposed skin]

Laundry Day
Laundry day is a bit awkward for everyone. Many a time underwear and socks have been swapped out. Keith often finds his socks mismatched with Lance’s. It use to frustrated him to no end, but at this point he’s conceded defeat and just accepts the hand the universe has dealt him. Lance often finds his shirts getting mixed in with Pidge’s. He’s still not entirely sure how their clothes get mixed up with one another where as with his socks he’s pretty much had it with Keith. Though he realizes Keith seems fairly upset about the turn out too. For Pidge and Allura there’s one thing they hate most. Bra swapping, it’s unintentional and has lead to some fairly awkward conversations when one or the other has realized the bra they’re sporting is not theirs, but in fact is their teammates. The least favorite occassion was when all their pantie’s were bleached out. This resulted in Pidge giving up and going with boxers. The castle had a set of the smallest ones, no one questions it anymore when they pop up in the wash they know whose they are. Often Shiro was the one in charge of folding most of the clothes alongside Coran. It’s a thankless job, but oddly rewarding. It’s just mundan but interactive enough to keep his mind from wandering into dark subjects. With Shiro out of the picture laundry sorting has fallen onto most everyone and they get together on one day out of the week and quietly sort through clothes. The occasional “I think I got your sock,” and “this is yours” is muttered amongst the group. It has some how become a training exercise as sock fights are now officially a thing. It’s a fun way to unwind, but often resorts in Coran telling them to be serious when he walks in on someone wearing undergarments on their head nominated as Lord of the Laundry.

Pidge: I dub the Lord of Laundry winner of this week’s sock fight. 
Lance: Did you just put your bra on my head?
Pidge: Naw, it’s Allura’s. [Smug grin.]
Lance: WHAT?! [Tosses it off lighting fast.]
Pidge: I was kidding, it was Hunk’s.
Hunk: Fuck you guys.

ainiyuku  asked:

Hello!! I took a trip to Walmart today and got distracted in the toy aisle when I saw they had a Spider-Man Super Car for kids to drive around. Do you think something like that would happen in the Voltron Family AU?

[The Voltron Family] Keith had to make a quick stop at Walmart since Shiro called him that they ran out of ingredients for dinner. The kids were with him after picking them up from their play date with the Patterson’s. 

“Don’t wander too far,” Keith started as he faced his three children.

“Stick with Daddy,” Hunk, Lance and Pidge finished in unison with bored voices, pretty much used to the grocery mantra.

“Oh, c’mon. Don’t give me those looks,” Keith mused. “Daddy Shiro’s cooking Spaghetti alla puttanesca. So that’s something to look forward to when we get home.” When the little ones groaned, he asked, “I thought you kids liked that?”

“Daddy Shiro sometimes overcooks the pasta,” Pidge whispered. “I don’t trust him. I love him lots but I don’t trust him.”

Keith laughed. “You’re being dramatic. He’ll do fine. In fact, if we do this quick, I can help him avoid overcooked pasta.”

The kids helped him get things from different aisles so they could go home soon. Pidge placed two bars of cheese while Hunk added a pack of sugar. Keith looked around and he was missing one.

“Where’s blue ranger?” Keith asked, looking back and forth. 

Hunk and Pidge shrugged.

“Where did your brother go?” Keith asked again. He moved out of the aisle and looked to his left. “Lance? Lance?”

“BEEP BEEP!” came a familiar voice that belonged to a five-year-old. 

Keith turned to his right and there appeared a Spider-Man toy car from the toys section, with a little Cuban boy as its driver.

“Oh god. Buddy, where did you get that?!” Keith asked him.

“I saw this car and the guy said it’s okay for me to ride! It’s Spider-Man, Daddy Keith!” Lance said in delight, still not pulling over. He turned to his right where his siblings were. The other two just widened in surprise and both ran towards him.

“This is so cool!” Hunk said in awe. “I wanna ride it too!”

“Hey! Ladies first!!” Pidge butted it.

“No, this is mine! Find your own cars!” Lance pouted.

Shiro opened the front door as soon as he heard the car parked outside. The kids ran quickly inside with bags of groceries heading to the kitchen, looking so excited. He didn’t expect them to have so much fun at the grocery store, but he guessed something must have happened there, but what?

His question was soon answered when Keith entered the house, struggling to carry two big boxes. Well, that didn’t look right. What he asked wasn’t much that required a box in the first place. After Keith placed them down on the floor, he got out once again and this time he was carrying one box of the same size.

Before he even had the chance to ask his husband a question, the three kids appeared again and jumped up and down beside Keith.

“Open it, open it!!” 

“Relax!” Keith laughed. “You’ll get to ride soon. Let me just get a—”

“What is going on?” Shiro finally asked, no longer liking being clueless.

“Daddy Keith bought us Spider-Man cars!!” His children said in unison, big smiles on their faces, hands balled up in excitement.

“He what?” Shiro asked in bewilderment and turned to Keith who was obviously trying to avoid looking at him. So, no one was going to talk. He looked at the boxes and turned it around to see the cover and the price tag.

Keith gulped loudly.

“You spent 700 dollars for three identical toy cars?!” Shiro gasped out loudly, looking pointedly at Keith. 

“They wanted to race! You can’t do that with one car! Plus, there are three of them,” Keith tried to explain, looking even more guilty than before. “Besides, who doesn’t love Spider-Man!? Right?”

“Unbelievable.” Shiro dragged a hand down his face.

[PART 02]

eastofthemoon  asked:

Shiro thought, I know you headcanon that Shiro likes more instant food like instant ramen, kraft dinner, etc Do you think Shiro would like mug cakes? They're easy to make (I love them), but I can see Hunk not being a fan of them because they have the microwave taste.

(Point of order: Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Though I admit Shiro would really love adding ketchup and hot dogs to it)

I think so, but I think Shiro also 90 percent of the time looks at the finished version and goes ‘oh, man, under cooked’ and puts it in until it’s a dry, flaky mess.  Hunk doesn’t necessarily miiind mug cakes, though he prefers the real version and thinks most the recipes for it are shit.  But the fact that Shiro will sit there and calmly eat what’s basically flour sand is slowly killing him.

(”Do you hate me?” Hunk finally bursts out one day, scrubbing over his face.

Shiro looks up from his mug, eyes wide.  He looks down at it, just a flicker, then tilts it toward Hunk.  “No.  Did you want some?” He asks carefully, like he’s not sure that’s the solution to this issue.

Because it’s not.  Hunk looks at the mug like it’s a bomb that’s about to go off.  “If you wanted cake, you could have asked for my help.”

Shiro frowns.  “I wouldn’t ask you to do that just for this.  And besides, it was just a craving, we don’t need to make a whole cake.”  He goes back to eating, and Hunk watches in horror as he happily swallows each dry, crumbling bite.)

Little Slice of Home - Hunk Garrett x Reader

Prompt: For voltron can you do one where hunk and his s/o bond over various dishes and may be is a chef which is how she first grabbed his attention?

“What is it?” You asked eyeing the bright green goo suspiciously. You cautiously picked up your fork and poked at only to lose your appetite when gave a lively giggle.

“I like to call it food goo.” Hunk said, happily putting a spoonful of the stuff in his mouth.

“Why is it green?” You asked.

“I try not to ask those kind of questions.”

“Well does it taste any good?” You inquired.

“Nope. Not really.”

“Ok … Well how do we make it better?” You asked looking around the room at your options. 

“I’m not sure it doesn’t really taste like anything. Hmmm … Maybe it needs flavoring. Let’s see if we can find something here to give it some flair.” Hunk pondered as he started to rifle through compartments to find something suitable.

“Oh! So it’s like space tofu! Great idea Hunk!” You praised and started to help him find something that could flavor the goo. You both reconvened at the counter with arm fulls of alien food (or what you assumed was food). You cautiously tasted a few of your ingredients, trying to put a human name to some of the flavors.

“Alright I have an idea!” You said when you found a very familiar flavor combination.  You got to work with spicing up your bowl of food goo and when you were satisfied with your work you offered Hunk a spoonful. He took a bit and his eyes widened in delight.

“Oh my god. It’s mac and cheese!”  He cried happily. “That’s amazing!”

“What did you make?” You asked eyeing his workstation carefully. It looks like he used the juice of an alien fruit and some ground roots to make whatever mystery was in his bowl.

“I call it goo a la mode.” He smiled. You took a bite and nearly started crying at the flavors that were dancing across your tongue. It tasted just like your mother’s apple pie!

“Oh my god. It’s fantastic.” You sniffled, wiping away your homesick tear from your eye.

“I know right? I think I’m beginning to like this goo … you know unappetizing color aside.”

I Scream, You Scream

After a (relatively) successful venture to the space mall, Coran was all set to fix the teladav with new lenses, Shiro was all set to make contact with their could-possibly-be-questionable-allies, and Pidge was mourning the incompatibilities of super-advanced Altean technology with a retro Earth gaming console.

But Hunk wasn’t paying attention to their gaming woes. Video games were cool and all, but this, this was way more important. He was checking over Kaltenecker, confirming that yes, she was a cow and not, like, a steer or something. She seemed healthy enough, but he didn’t really have enough experience to know.

“Hey Lance!” he called. His friend looked up from where he was comforting a weeping Pidge. “Is this a dairy cow? Does she give milk?”

“Well how would I know?”

“You said she was free with purchase, did the salesperson say anything?”

Lance had stood up and wandered over to Hunk and his prize. “Nope. Just ‘free’ and 'Kaltenecker.’ What’s the big deal, anyway?”

“Lance,” Hunk pleaded, “don’t you understand what this means?”

At the blank look he was getting, not just from Lance but Keith and Shiro as well, who were standing nearby and casually observing the interaction (Pidge was still grieving over her new console), Hunk had to lay his hands on Lance’s shoulders and shake him a little. “Just think! Milk, Lance! Fresh milk! Whole milk with heavy cream and don’t you realize what this means??”

Finally the light went on for the Blue Paladin and his eyes widened, mouth splitting into a huge grin. “Dairy foods! Holy quiznack, we can have DAIRY FOODS!”

The other humans were reacting with excitement, too, drawing Pidge into the conversation. “Cheese!” Keith suggested excitedly. But then Hunk’s expression dropped.

“Sorry, but I don’t think we have the bacteria cultures up here for things like cheeses and yogurt, but still! Imagine the possibilities!”

Shiro was still standing where he was, but his gaze had gone distant, a dreamy glaze over his eyes as he murmured, almost reverently, “Ice cream…”

Keith, Pidge, and Lance all exchanged thrilled expressions, repeating at the same time, “Ice cream!” And when they all looked at Hunk, he nodded solemnly, though his lower lip was trembling and there were tears in his eyes.

“Ice cream,” he confirmed with a little quaver in his voice.

“Does anybody know how to milk a cow?” Shiro demanded, and it sounded startlingly like his “we’re on an important mission” voice. Good grief, the guy was really serious about his ice cream.

But unfortunately there was silence from the four younger Paladins, everyone looking at each other sheepishly until Lance lifted one hand to rock it back and forth in a so-so gesture. “Maybe? When I was a kid one of my neighbors had goats. I used to visit and watch…”

“Alright Lance, see if you can’t figure out how to milk a cow,” Shiro ordered. Lance executed a snappy salute, the turned to lead Kaltenecker off the bridge while everyone else watched with the stars of newfound love and appreciation in their eyes. Then there was a loud mooing and Lance made a startled noise of pain. “Uh…Keith? Why don’t you go help him?” The addressed paladin nodded and trotted out the doors to keep Lance from being mauled by a space-abducted bovine. Their inevitable bickering faded down the hall. “Pidge,” Shiro addressed the Green Paladin next. “See what you can find out about pasteurization or whatever. Just so we know it’s safe.” She scuttled off to her station with an “Aye aye!” and Shiro turned to Hunk next. “Think you can whip up an ice cream churn with what we’ve got in the castle?”

Hunk gleefully cracked his knuckles, grinning, “Not a problem!” Then he left the bridge as well.

Allura couldn’t help but stand there and stare at this surprising interaction. She had put in the coordinates for their destination and was in the process of gently undoing the work the mice had done playing with her hair, but…

“What is 'I scream’?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“The best comfort food ever!” Pidge exclaimed from her station without taking her eyes off of her research.

“It’s just a sweet treat,” Shiro explained with a smile. “Something none of us have had in a while. You’ll definitely have to try some when it’s ready!”

“I suppose so…” she conceded, intrigued, but also a little relieved to see the suddenly lightened mood of her Paladins, despite their upcoming mission. “I scream…” she murmured again.

Confusingly, Shiro chuckled and said, “You scream.”

Then Pidge gleefully piped up again, cheering, “We all scream for ice cream!”


Because I can’t ignore the temptation of Paladin shenanigans. :D I mean, Kaltenecker is a source of Earth food! Surely if anyone would capitalize on that, it would be Hunk!

silverheartlugia2000  asked:

Deaged keith? Except he has no control over his galra shifting? The team deals with kitten cute overload~

Dude, deaging is my JAM and I kind of can’t believe I haven’t done any with Voltron yet?  You always send the best prompts.  Hope you like this one.  It turned out also to be the moment I finally figured out what I want from/for writing post-Kuron fics, so it’s longer than originally anticipated.  Makes it to cute kitten overload at the end, though!  Or at least cute kitten.  :P

I also deaged Hunk, because reasons.  Mostly cuteness reasons.


Ronnie sat on one of the couches between the training deck and the paladins’ (and his) rooms, enjoying the quiet.  Ever since Keith and Hunk had been turned into toddlers, the Castle had been filled with strange noises, and it had set him on edge.

If it hadn’t been obvious enough that he was a clone before, it sure was now.  He’d adjusted to the idea in the weeks since they figured it out, and most of the team had forgiven him for it once they could neutralize the threats attached to him, and things had been getting better.  But he knew Shiro must have been familiar with the sounds of small children.  He must have.  Ronnie just didn’t have the memories that went that far back.

He stood up, getting ready to go train again.  Moving made it easier to keep his mind off the big, empty gaps in his memories that always reminded him that he didn’t have any memories.  The gaps were what was real, but that was sometimes even scarier than the fact that the memories were fake.

Suddenly, a shrill shriek split the air, raising the hair on the back of his neck and arm.  That was a new noise, and something deep and instinctive told him it was a bad noise.

Lance was already running before Ronnie could make it around the end of the couch, sprinting toward Keith’s bunk, where they’d put the babies.  Moving toward the hallway made Ronnie feel better, too, but since he didn’t know what to do when he got there, he didn’t hurry, following tentatively.

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xagrok  asked:

I see a meme. Never have I ever written a fanfiction where the source of great conflict was over popular, maybe pet peeve/ preference themes (pineapple on pizza, sparkling vs. still water, Oxford Comma etc.).

“I don’t care what any of you say,” Pidge declared, outright standing on the rec room couch in her righteous fury.  “It’s KD and it’s best with ketchup.  And hot dogs.”

“That’s disgusting,” Lance shot back, just as wild with indignation.  “First of all, mac and cheese from a box is awful.”

At this point, Shiro’s head finally popped up.  “Hey, now, that’s not true,” he replied, voice mild.

“I would rather eat the cardboard!” Lance snapped back, glaring Shiro down.  “Your taste is absolutely terrible, you don’t get an opinion.”

There was a moment of silence, as Shiro’s rising annoyance battled with his reserved expression.  “Are we making broad generalizations now?  Or are we just invalidating people’s opinions because we don’t like them?”

Lance snorted.  “No, we’re not taking testimonials from people who don’t seem to taste anything but salt.  Or are a gremiln and probably shouldn’t be fed anyway.  Hunk!  Back me up here!”

Looking between Lance and Pidge, Hunk winced.  “Um.  I mean.  If you like additions to your macaroni, there are probably better options.  Dijon mustard tastes really good actually, you’d probably like it.”  He sighed at Pidge’s look of betrayal and disgust.  “And the box stuff is bad, yeah.  Sorry guys.  It uses powdered cheese.  I can’t endorse that.”

Shiro’s jaw worked, eyes dark for just a second.  “I wouldn’t say that.  I prefer it to yours.”  

Mouth falling open, Hunk stared like Shiro had cursed out his mother.  “Dude!”

“And Kraft - sorry, Pidge, it’s just Kraft - is excellent with ketchup and hot dogs.  I’ve had it.”  He paused.  “Matt barely ate anything else.”

“See!”  Pidge gestured to Shiro.  “Told you!  He’s actually tried it, unlike you jerks.”

Keith groaned and flopped back on the couch, covering his face with a pillow.  “Can the Galra please attack, now?”

Build on Shaky Ground

For Pidge Ship Week 2017, Day 1:  Trust

Pairing:  Pidge/Lance - mostly platonic

Summary:  Sometimes Lance dangles the carrot of friendship in front of Pidge’s face; sometimes Pidge refuses to take a bite.

Cross-posted to Ao3

Lance always insisted on asking Pidge to join him and Hunk - who never looked like he wanted to be there - in sneaking away from the Garrison campus and into the nearby town. Always, at least a few times a week, he knocked on her door, and asked - no, demanded Pidge join them for ‘team bonding’.

And Pidge always refused, no matter the methods Lance used when trying to convince her.

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Science side of VLD

So I’m watching the last ep and I noticed something that’s been bugging me for a while. Let’s get started:

So Voltron just got spanked by the dark magic and Allura and Coran (as well as Slav, Antok, and Kolivan who did not agree her going full Rambo) decide to shove their nose in and try to take out Zarkon with their ultra-powerful-power-ray-thing. Cool.

But then it’s reflected back to the ship and this madness happens:

SO before their Voltron’s very eyes the castle kinda (but not really) explodes. And everyone’s reasonably upset:

I mean she sounded like she was just murdered in a SAW movie.

BUT THEN

WHERE IN THE HECK IS HE LOOKING?!

He’s right next to Shiro, who’s got front-row tickets

And last I checked there’s no rear-window in the lions.

In the words of the great profit Lance McClain: “What the cheese?”

PlatonicVLDWeek Day 2

Day 2 (Jul. 3): Traditions / New experiences

Keith woke up with a headache, a stuffed nose sore throat and his t-shirt and underwear soaked in sweat and his body heavy as lead he knew that he was sick. He groaned in an exhale, almost causing himself to get a chough attack. The alarm that alerted breakfast suddenly bleared from the speakers that were in every room of the castle. Keith groaned again, as he slowly and heavily, pushed himself up from his soaked bed. He didn’t get further than to sitting on the edge, the world spinning before him.

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anonymous asked:

A giant whiff of what one would presume to be chocolate fill the area, causing everyone to stop in their tracks.

A giant whiff of what one would presume to be chocolate filled the area, causing everyone to stop in their tracks.

As usual Hunk was the first to state what was on everyone’s mind. “Do you guys smell chocolate?” He sniffed and smiled contently. “Hmm, milk chocolate.”

“I think it’s…” Lance turned in one direction. “this way?”

“No, no, it’s this way.” Hunk drifted in another direction.

Shiro grabbed them both by the back of their collar and kept them from wandering off.

“Don’t get carried away you two. We don’t know what kind of alien life might be round.”

“But it’s CHOCOLATE Shiro!” Hunk plead. “I thought I smelled cookies earlier. Maybe there’s an alien bakery or something.”

“In the middle of space on an uncharted and uninhabited alien planet?” Keith’s tone was enough of an indication of his own opinion on the subject.

“Well I mean,” Pidge sheepishly scratched cheek. “It couldn’t hurt to check it out.”

Shiro stood there in silent contemplation as the sweet smell continued to torment him.

Eventually, giving in to his hidden sweet tooth, he said, “I guess it couldn’t hurt to scout it out, but keep your comms on and don’t wander-”

He frowned as he turned around. 

“Where’s Lance and Hunk?”

Both arms of Voltron glanced at the empty air at their sides and shrugged.

“Holy cheese and crackers!”

It was Lance’s voice, and it was enough to send all three of the remaining paladin’s through the thicket weapons drawn.

Lance and Hunk stood on a ledge staring down at something. The other’s joined them and followed their gaze.

“Is that what I think it looks like?” Shiro asked as he stared at a smooth brown stream erupting from a cluster of rocks and gathering into a pool.

Bending down and sticking a finger into the concoction, PIdge brought it to her nose, sniffed it, and tentatively touched it to her tongue.

Her eyes widened.

“It’s chocolate.”

“A literal chocolate fountain.” Hunk sighed, a tear in his eyes. “It’s like finding eden.”

As the blue, yellow, and green paladins celebrated, Keith leaned over to Shiro and whispered. “Space is way weirder than I thought it would be.”

Shiro nodded sagely.

Culture Shock

Continuing my Kallura Week fic…
And for Kallura Positivity Day
Happy birthday @thekallurashipper, hope it was a good one ^_^



Keith’s eyes opened slowly, focusing groggily as the world returned. The floor was cold under his feet as he stepped down onto the metal deck of the infirmary. Then he noticed he was alone. He frowned, not sure how to feel. When Lance had awoken from his time in the healing pod they’d all been there for him. Same with Shiro. So why had they left him to wake alone? Did they not care? Or…had something happened to call them away?

Of course! That was the more likely scenario.

He padded out into the hallway and into the elevator, punching the button to the bridge. It arrived far quicker than he expected and he was stepping out of it before he’d had a chance to collect his thoughts. The view screens looked out into nothingness. They must have left the planet while he’d been healing. But there was something wrong about the darkness outside. It was completely black. No sign of any kind of emergency or threat. No planets. No moons. No stars.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Allura’s voice echoed around him. He thought he’d been alone. He hadn’t seen her when he’d stepped onto the bridge. As he turned in a quick circle he still didn’t see her. Not until he completed his turn to find her standing behind him.

“Can’t do what?” He frowned. Was she loosing faith in their mission? He could certainly understand that. With all that was expected of her, of both of them now that Shiro was gone, it was so much. Too much. He was about to say something inspirational to her but the words got stuck in his throat as she reached out to cup his face. All thought fled as she ran a thumb over his lips sending the most wonderful tingling sensation shuddering through his body.

“I can’t keep pretending…”

The way she was looking at him, it was just like she had back on Natsua. On the dance floor. The same heavy-lidded eyes. The same tilt to the head. The same slightly parted lips. But there were no bodies swirling around them. No music swelling to a crescendo to distract them.

“Allura…” He whispered. “I…”

Whatever he was going to say was lost as she covered his mouth with her own, gently at first as the hand still resting on his face slid along his jaw, his neck, to tangle in his hair, the second quickly following. His, which had been hanging limply at his sides, reached out of their own accord to find her waist, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss.

A pair of strong hands fell on his shoulders and forcibly spun him around. Keith found himself looking into a pair of strangely familiar blue eyes. Suspiciously angry blue eyes.

“What exactly are your intentions with my daughter, boy?” The owner of those eyes demanded.

‘Daughter?’ He blinked at the man. If that was true, than that meant he was… “King Alfor…?”

But how could that be? He’d died thousands of years ago. He was definitely Altean, though. And true, the eyes were similar, the silvery hair too. The little curve of colour under his eyes were different though, pale aqua to her soft pink.

“Relax, Alfor. He’s a good kid.”

Keith’s eyes widened at the sound of a voice he definitely did know.

“Shiro…?”

“He’s a Galra.” Alfor noted, a slight curl to his lip.

“Yeah.” Shiro raised a brow, looking him up and down. “So it would seem.”

Keith lowered his gaze, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious about the change in his appearance. Shiro placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It looks good on you.” He smirked.

“Do you have a problem with that, little king?” A new voice growled. The speaker was tall, powerfully built and very obviously Galra. “He is the blood of my blood.” Flicking his tail angrily, he leaned over the smaller Altean who met his glare with one of his own. “If you have a problem with him, then you have a problem with me.” He turned his head for a moment to look at Keith, a smirk, very similar to his own, tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He had a fairly human looking face, much like Thace, but the brief smile revealed sharpened teeth. Pointed, elf-like ears, reminiscent of Ulaz’, poked through a thick dark mane of shaggy hair. A dark, vertical line slashed both eyes, just like…Keith absently touched one of the marks that had recently appeared on his own face.

“Who is that…?” He wondered.

“I’m not sure.” Shiro admitted. “But I think he’s your grandfather.”

“My grandfather…?” He echoed. “How…?” Well he knew how. It was more why…as in why was he here. And where exactly was…

He turned from the arguing aliens to take in his surroundings, or rather, lack of them. The bridge was gone. Everything was gone. Everything but Shiro, himself, and the bickering older generation. There were distant points of light that resembled stars, and some kind of ground beneath their feet. But beyond that, nothing.

“Is this where you are?” He wondered. Was this where he was now, too? Had he succumbed to his injury? Was he dead? Or was this some place in between? He pulled up his shirt to reveal the tear on his abdomen. It was a livid mark on his pale skin, long, ugly and aglow with the other-worldly light of the place.

“I don’t know.” Shiro admitted. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s where you THINK I am.”

“I don’t need riddles, Shiro.” He snapped. “I…” He frowned, screwed up his eyes. “I need you back. I can’t…I keep screwing up…”

“How are you screwing up?” Shiro questioned. “You discovered there’s a bounty on all of our heads so you’re all prepared for that…you helped broker a new alliance…”

“…almost got myself killed…” He gestured to the oddly glowing injury.

“Yeah…you should probably stop doing that.” Shiro nodded. “But you were protecting Pidge. I’d probably have done the same thing…”

“A noble thing to do.” They turned to the rumbling voice of Keith’s apparent grandfather. “Now…let me get a look at you, little one.” He picked Keith bodily off the ground, took a deep inhale of his hair, before very deliberately licking his cheek. Keith shuddered at the damp, coarse rasp of Galra tongue, praying to whatever deity that would listen that it was some kind of Galra display of familial affection.

“Finished arguing with Alfor, then?” Shiro quirked a brow as the Galra deposited Keith back on the kind-of ground.

“I wasn’t as capable as the boy’s girlfriend.” He jerked a clawed thumb over his shoulder to where Allura was clearly telling her father where he could put his opinion of the Galra, or rather, a certain hybrid one.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Keith protested, though it was a little half-hearted. The two older males exchanged an amused glance.

“Denial!” They said in unison.

“He’s going to have his hands full with that one.” The Galra chuckled. “But my blood have always had interesting taste when it comes to potential partners.” He ruffled Keith’s hair. “I’m pleased to see you keep up the family tradition.”

“But we’re not…”

Shiro draped an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah…keep telling yourself that.” He smiled. “But now…” He tapped Keith’s side. He looked down. The bright glow had dimmed so that only a single point of light shimmered at the very tip of the now almost healed injury.

“Until we meet again, little one.” Keith grimaced as his grandfather leaned down and licked his cheek again.

“Time to wake up.” Shiro smiled sadly.

~~~~~~

Keith blinked as the shimmering force field dissolved before him.

“Well that was weird.” He mumbled, touching his side, checking for any residual pain.

“I know, right.” Lance gestured towards him as he stepped out of the pod. “Did you have the dream about the guy with the cheese?”

Hunk and Lance had both stepped forward, ready to steady him if he were to stumble. Past experience has taught them that people tended to remain a little groggy on exiting the healing pods. Then Keith realised exactly what Lance had said. “Wait. What?” He frowned.

“Or was it the one with the backwards talking and the flaming playing cards?” Hunk asked.

“He was probably mauled by giant space lizards.” Pidge scoffed.

“No.” He shook his head. “There was no cheese. No cards. No…mauling.” Well, not exactly. “Just weird dream stuff.”

“Like what?” Allura asked with a frown.

“Nothing in particular.” He answered with a shrug. “Just dream stuff.” He looked around at the others. “So…what did I miss?” He asked, redirecting the conversation. “Was I in there long?”

“We’re still on Nyungan.” Coran informed him. “You were healing for the better part of a quintet. And the major consensus amongst the paladins is to return to the ship-”

“You want to go back to the murder ship?” He asked warily.

“We took care of all the Galra drones…” Hunk reassured him.

“And, given that it’s about the same age as the Castle…” Pidge continued.

“And designed for deep space.” Coran added.

“It’s loaded with supplies.” Lance concluded.

“Makes sense.” Keith nodded. “Just give me a minute to change…” He looked down at the white body suit he was wearing, wondering momentarily who had changed him into it and what had become of his paladin armour. He knew the suits had some kind of self-repair technology. He’d seen it at work when that Druid had burnt his hand, he just needed to know where it was.

“Apologies, Keith.” Coran stepped forward. “But you’ll be staying here. Doctor’s orders.” He added when the still red paladin threw him a 'you’re kidding’ look. “The healing function of the cyropods is quite effective, but, given the extent of your injury, you’ll still be quite tender for a little while yet.”

To prove his point, he lifted Keith’s arm and pressed a hand against the wound sight, causing the young man to flinch slightly.

“It’s best if you don’t exert yourself.”

“Fine.” He grumbled, folding his arm across his chest. He didn’t see the quick exchange between Hunk and Pidge.

“Though it’s probably not a good idea to leave him here alone.” Hunk pointed out.

“He’ll probably run off to the training deck or something if we leave him unsupervised.” Pidge chimed in. Keith’s eyes narrowed, almost dangerously, and he was about to remind them that he was not a child and knew damn well when to rest, when Pidge added, “Wouldn’t you agree, Princess?”

Neither Keith or Allura saw the look the other threw the youngest paladin, one shocked, one withering.

“You know.” Lance admitted before either could respond. “They’ve got a point.” He smirked at the dark-haired and currently pouting youth. “You really don’t know when to quit.”

Keith let out a resigned sigh. They were all conspiring against him. Or they were coming to know him too well. He wasn’t sure which bothered him more.

“Okay.” He looked at Coran. “What do you prescribe?”

~~~~~~

Rest and sustenance, that’s what Coran had told him to do.

So they had all but dragged him into the sunken lounges, bundling him up with pillows and blankets, ignoring his protests that he’d been injured, and was mostly healed anyway, and not sick. They had ignored him, forcing him to promise not to move until they came back. Pidge had donated her laptop, on a temporary basis, of course, so he’d have something to do while they went and ransacked the shipwreck for whatever useful parts they could strip from it.

Keith knew that was a huge development on Pidge’s part. She didn’t like people touching her stuff, Keith was the same, or at least he would be if he actually had any stuff. He wouldn’t betray her trust, wouldn’t go looking in her personal folders. He’d just go through the video files. So he sat, quietly, perusing her collection of movies and TV shows, the girl certainly had eclectic taste, while Allura fixed him something to eat.

He decided against anything science fiction, not that he didn’t like the genre, but his life had become a science fiction movie and he kind of wanted to escape from that for a while. The same could be said of the comic-book stuff. Maybe some epic fantasy? Get a little taste of home in the sweeping scenery, share some Earth with Allura? Or would the sight of the elfin characters upset her somehow?

Something animated? Animation was always safe, right?

“Have you found something you’d like to watch?” Allura asked, gliding in with a tray of food and drinks.

“A couple of things.” He looked up, watching as she carefully descended the steps, balancing the tray while minding the hem of her gown. She slid the tray onto the floor behind the back of the couch, taking the bowls of food from it and offering him one before sitting down beside him.

~~~~~~

At some point Allura had shifted some of the blankets and moved closer to him. He hadn’t made any kind of comment as she’d inched slowly towards him, he’d only offered to share his comfort cocoon with her. So now they sat in companionable silence, snuggled up together, in a darkened room, watching images flashing by on a tiny, low-resolution…by Altean standards…screen.

“He reminds me a little of you.” She commented, gesturing towards the feature’s male lead.

“Because he’s a normal looking guy who slowly reveals the monster he truly is inside?”

She frowned. Did he really think that about himself like that?

“No.” She almost snapped at him. “Because he initially comes across as this uncaring, selfish guy who doesn’t give a quiznak about anyone but himself, but in truth, he really cares about everyone and is willing to do whatever it takes to save them.”

“Even if it turns him into a monster?” His head was lowered, his eyes downcast.

“He’s not a monster, Keith.” She shook her head. She reached out and cupped his chin, raising his head and turning his face towards her. “And neither are you.” Instinctively, she leaned forward…and ran her tongue up the curve of his cheek.

He scrambled away from her to the corner of the couch, staring at her with wide, startled eyes. It certainly wasn’t the reaction she’d been expecting. Had he misinterpreted her intent?

“It’s a Galran expression of affection.” She explained softly. His expression changed to uncertainty, confusion. He shifted, moved out of the protection of the corner.

“In the pod…” He pointed in the general direction of the infirmary. “I dreamed…I saw…how could I have…known…unless…?”

She leaned forward, concerned now, covering his hand with hers.

“What is it?” She frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“The mental activity in the pods.” He looked at her, his eyes still wide. “Are they dreams? Or are they memories?” He looked away, his eyes darting. “Shiro’s were memories. What if mine…then that would mean…maybe…” His eyes returned to hers. “I wasn’t born on Earth.”

“What?” She sat up straight.

“In my dream…memory…whatever it was…” He began. “There was a Galra. He had dark hair…” he tugged at his own, “…and these…” he ran a finger down his facial markings, “…and he did that lick thing.” He frowned. “I think he was my grandfather.”

Allura absorbed his words, trying to make some sense of it all. She took his hand in both of hers and moved a little closer to him.

“It may have been some kind of repressed memory.” She admitted. “But it might also have been your subconscious attempting to come to terms with your newly discovered heritage.” His Galra blood must be weighing heavily on his mind, especially now that it was beginning to show.

He nodded slowly. “You’re probably right. He kind of was an amalgamation of the Blades. But how would I know about the lick thing?” He wondered. “It’s not an affectionate thing on Earth.”

“Maybe…” She began in a whisper. “Maybe it’s a memory of your mother.”

“Yeah.” He said, just as softly. “Maybe…”

They settled back in the couch, returning their attention to the forgotten movie, their fingers still entwined. It appeared to be coming to a close. The main characters were all together, looking quite happy.

“So, how do humans show affection?” She asked.

“Well, I don’t have a lot if experience.” He admitted. “There’s this.” He raised their joined hands. “And that.” He gestured towards the screen where the leads were leaning in for a soft kiss.

“We do that too.” Allura said, shifting slightly to rest her head on his shoulder.

“I guess we’re not so different.” He said, rolling his head to rest it against hers.

anonymous asked:

Whoo Boy I really want to like that one block of soap that's just like a hunk of cheese, but the way the person's holding the knife and pulling it towards their thumb is just setting off all of my worry alarms

After that one anon who was worried about the one where they were cutting away from themselves, this is more like what I’m used to lol ^^;;

It’s actually safer that way than to cut away from yourself! You have more control and stability over the knife that way, so it’s not as dangerous as it looks! I’ve always backed that up by saying I cut potatoes and stuff that way all the time lol, but since then I’ve also gotten a few asks/replies from people who work with knives a lot (like the one I linked) who say the same thing!

“I never thought I’d say this one day,” Pidge mentions to Hunk when he appears with another broken piece of communication technology to fix, “but I’m glad they’re finally getting along.”

Hunk blinks for a few moments, frozen into place. Pidge uses the time to rid him of the electronics and point across the room where Keith is in the process of wrestling Lance onto his back. He’s grinning and looks a bit mad in the process, and there’s more skin touching and sweat involved than Hunk personally prefers in training.

“How long have they been at it?” Hunk finally sits down, setting down a big box he’d been carrying among the electronics and digging into it. He produces two quite frankly enormous sandwiches, forcing Pidge to accept them with his feared even-a-genius-has-to-eat-so-take-it-or-I’ll-make-you look.

“Thanks. Two hours, I think. What’s on these?”

“Pickles and cream cheese. But - ”

“I love you, oh my god, this is my favourite.”

“Duh. You’re welcome, but anyways - how are they not tired yet? And look, you know I value your scientific opinion and all, but this,” Hunk gestures to the chaos of limbs that looks suspiciously like Lance trying to pull Keith’s leg while Keith attempts to sit on his thighs and hold him down, “isn’t teamwork. They’re beating each other up for fun.”

Pidge lifts a brow at him before finishing a huge bite and then speaking. “They don’t actually hurt each other, you know. It’s more like - ugh, how should I say this. I don’t feel drunk enough for this conversation.”

“You’ve never touched a drop of liquor,” Hunk says, sceptical.

“Whatever. What I mean is - ”

Their conversation is rudely interrupted when Keith bolts past them. His hair is a fluffy mess, he’s lost his black training shirt somewhere one hour ago and Hunk is surprised to see a hint of actual joy glittering in his eyes. “Cardio unit, potato face! Bet you can’t catch me before I hit the roof!”

Pidge gives Hunk a silent stare.

“Huh,” Hunk says, “that’s. Well.”

Then Lance swishes past them with a yowling battle cry, and Hunk barely manages to snatch him by the sleeve. “Hey, what about lunch break? At least have a few sandwiches, and don’t kill each other.”

Lance’s grin is bright enough to power a solar system. “Dude, thanks! I’m so gonna make him fight me for these.” He stuffs three of them into his pockets, loads another portion into his hands and sprints off, calling over his shoulder at Hunk. “And if anyone goes down, it’s fucking Keith! He doesn’t have the skills to take me - where the fuck are you?”

The electronic door glides shut behind Lance. Hunk stares at the smooth metal surface, lost in thought and his ham sandwich. Pidge has started typing rapidly on two laptops at once.

Hunk sighs, drawing a long breath, and drapes himself around Pidge’s back. “They’d do anything for each other, wouldn’t they.”

Pidge’s mouth is the tiniest curve. “If there’s anything I know, then it’s that those two would raise hell and the entire galaxy for each other. They just don’t know it yet.”

anonymous asked:

What the hell would a cheese prostitute even look like?

You remember the Candy Wife from Misadventures of Flapjack? Like that but made from cheese and the pussy is a hunk of swiss.

Summary of Voltron S2
  • Pidge: *Pitches the plan while glasses reflect* And that is the thing we have to do.
  • Lance: *Loudly exclaims witty comment that everyone ignores*
  • Coran: But that's impossible! Unless... maybe we could get this thing from this place!? Here are the coordinates.
  • Allura: It's the only way!!
  • Keith: *serious face and arms crossed* I will do the thing.
  • Shiro: *puts hand on Keith's shoulder* Be careful, Keith.
  • Kieth: *nods head and goes to do the thing on his own*
  • *Pew Pew, Jetpacks, Explosions, Kieth stuck in Space*
  • Red Lion: Alright brb guys gotta save my Paladin's ass for the 100th time.
  • Allura: Team up Paladins! This could be our only chance!!
  • Shiro: Form Voltron!
  • *Voltron Form sequence then swords and more explosions*
  • Lance: Yeahaaaa we did it!!
  • Hunk: Phew! You guys see that thing? Looked like a Calzone... cause, because of the fold and that melty part was like cheese and the... never mind.