it kills me

like evan just falls into heidi,, he’s been. tense the entire show. actually tense is an understatement of epic proportions this kid has been battling anxiety and self doubt and depression and suicidal ideation and lies and conflicting feelings abt this weird situation the WHOLE time, he’s on edge the whole time, his whole life he is on edge that is the nature of anxiety by definition………….and then he lets everything go, he lets himself have some relief from the exhausting battle he wages w himself everyday and he lets his mom hold him. he just COLLAPSES into her and she holds him holds him holds him so tight and he lets her hold him, all of the “worst” parts of himself out in the open. and like, he doesn’t have to fight himself for the first time in so long. he just goes limp from relief and exhaustion and he takes a break and his mom rocks him back and forth bc he’s always her baby and she will love him no matter what