it just tears me apart

it’s never going to happen

it’s never going to be real

i’m never going to see you when you wake up
i’m never going to see your messy hair
i’m never going to see you relaxing
i’m never going to see you lying next to me
i’m never going to see you look at me like I matter

i’m never going to be able to kiss your sleepy lips awake
i’m never going to be able to go through mundane every day life with you
i’m never going to be able to be more with you
i’m never going to be important to you
i’m never going to be a lasting memory

i’m never going to stay in your life

and nothing will hurt as much as knowing
that you will never love me back

—  3 am thoughts

Pftttt everytime life kicks me in the buns my tumblr header give me a spark of joy to just keep going and it’s not so bad

Parachutes lyrics.

Your love takes on the shape of suffering and silently I wish that I was anybody but me.” 

There’s times when I pretend you never made it home.”

Because I got tired of hiding you from the ones I love
(…at least I thought I did.)
.”- World Destroyer.

It was you or nothing
And nothing can hurt me like I hurt myself
.”- Veins! Veins!! Veins!!!

Sometimes we miss old friends, until we remember they weren’t friends.” ?

You say you want my heart, just to tear it apart.”

You can’t break me down again or change my mind on this, I’m breaking out of this, your darkness.”

Would you die for me if I lived for you?

But turn your back on me, if I continue to follow my heart?
How could you?

Throw me away, just let me be, and hate me for me
(I can’t be so, perfectly, untrue for you.)

Loving a lie, deny me my life, but I still love you…but why should I?”- They Wanted Darkness.

Is there something you wanna tell me?
Please don’t hold back now
I’ve been waiting so long for you to meet me
Please don’t turn back now
I think about it all the time, I couldn’t miss you any more than I do…
”- I’ll Let You Down.

It was a rarity that I felt emotions
Now they radiate down my extremities and it sets me on fire
It was a malady without a solution
You were my remedy
Yeah you ruined me

It was a rarity that I sensed emotions
I feel them radiate
Gave me stomachaches, you set me on fire
It was a malady without a solution
But you were my remedy
Now you’ve ruined me

Without misery thought I had nothing to offer
It was my way of carrying that weight
Until you came through,
And made me believe, I was worth being saved
.”- Remedy.

I swear I’ve loved you all along.” Sounds like he’s trying to convince the person/himself that he’s loved them all along. -Miss Me.

There’s still a part of me that needs to look the same way into your eyes…

You’re still a part of me, the only part I enjoy, and I wish I still had a hold on you like you do, until you’re blue, around my throat.”

Things don’t feel the same like they did back then but I don’t mind…
Because the past don’t mean shit to me
(Now that’s a lie.)

I’ve never been good enough for your love.”- Oceans.

Maybe you’ll find better ways to see the good in me being myself
(…and stop trying to fix me.)

Would your love run out if my heart gave out?He’s unsure if this person would really stick with him.

I feel loved, but I’m not sure if I deserve it.”- The Resurrectionist, Or Existential Crisis In C#.

I feel for the lovers, who pretend they’re fine.” He empathises with them.

Wish I could be apathetic but I’ve met love along the way.” He wishes he didn’t empathise with them, but he ‘met love along the way’ and ended up in the same situation.

My heart breaks for the artist.” One of the most suggestive lines.

Imagine you and me if we made it through the bullshit, we’d probably get so bored it make us cry.”

I’m a wreck and it’s all your fault.”- Viva Indifference.

Lyrics from Parachutes. Only chose some.

Now tell me- I’d love to know- who these lyrics are about/for/to. Because it sure as Hell ain’t Jamia. I’m up for any suggestions.

was just reminded again that the ring Dean used to wear was Mary’s wedding ring, and now all I can think about is John getting it back when he pulls into the police station to pick it up from the morgue, they’d asked him if he wanted it buried with the remains (not that there were much remains at all to bury in that coffin) and he said no

and he pulls up in the car with Sam in a brand-new carseat buckled into the back, Dean’s sitting in the back too, in the middle seat so that Sam can chew on his finger 

and John goes in carrying the carseat and holding onto Dean with the other hand and signs the paperwork and takes the ring and they leave 

the front passenger seat is full of disposable diapers and some transformers toys he bought for Dean 

and he’s there with two tiny kids, no parents, no in-laws, no home, a few brand-new toys and the ring of his wife who four days dead and they


anonymous asked:

oh my god jess i am DYING. both because of the max/anne scenes (holy shit!!! holy SHIT!!!!!) and because silver and flint are tearing me apart. god. i just wanted to know what you thought about flint taking the cache? it's so different to how flint's been this season (aside from the power struggles w billy, weirdly compassionate & measured - i thought it sooo significant that he envisioned the leaders of the new world to be not himself but silver and madi) i feel this is him taking a step back +

+ to who he was in the earlier seasons but i also think he’s moved on from That Flint, the one who we knew was bound to do horrible stuff and betray people in the end. i reeeeaaaally hope the writers explore how This Flint deals with These Actions because he seemed so hell-bent on doing this but i also think it’s killing him inside. and also! he must have something else in mind? bc him and dooley just dragging the cache out in plain sight of everyone seems, uh, not a great plan

god anon, god god god. I AM DYING TOO.

(also this got long whoops!!! the sky is blue the grass is green I rambled about black sails what else is new :o))

Keep reading

I think it’s just the fact that I’ll never get to kiss him or just hug him randomly. The fact I’ll never call him honey,love,darling or sweetheart. The fact I can never hold his hand and laugh with him. Yea , I think that’s just tearing me apart
—  just writing this made me sick to my stomach /./ (yes I wrote this trying to sound cool)
A Mess

Sing me to sleep and
Then leave me alone
Life is so tiring
I’d rather be gone

School is exhausting
My grades sink and sink
The chaos in my head
Makes it hard to think

Resistance seems futile
The war rages on
Emotions confuse me
It’s hard to be strong

I want to go home,
Feel to hopeless to fight
But I’m on my own, still,
So broken inside

Can’t focus on nothing
And always forget
I’d figure this out if
I wasn’t so sad

Or desperate, or lonely,
This anger destroys
My every being
Strips me of all joys

How am I supposed to
Keep going like this
I’m barely surviving
Don’t know how to live

People’s expectations
Just tear me apart
No place in this world for
A fragile, soft heart

They want me to function
Be nice and pretend
I’d fit in with people
I don’t understand

(My poems are messy
All over the place
No straight line of thinking
For structure no space)


Voltron Week 2016: Day 5 → (Platonic) Relationship


A little something I started on a few days ago for Sakura’s birthday and just finished today so hAPPY NOW BELATED BIRTHDAY SAKURA ≧(´▽`)≦ This is actually an idea I’ve had for a while now cuz I lOVE Kaden and Sakura’s support SO MUCH THEY’RE SO CUTEO;IRG So when i was trying to think of something to draw for her birthday I remembered it and knew what I had to do ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿) ᕗ

I’M SO GLAD I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO DRAW THIS CUZ IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I’M SO SO HAPPY WITH HOW IT CAME OUT OAIRHG I’m especially proud of how the positioning came out and Sakura’s design is so pretty and I adore her so much.  Both of their palettes just made me so happy (the fe:a/f palettes are my Favorite) and I couldn’t stop wheezing at the colors as I was working o;airhg I’ve also been wanting to color with greens lately since I don’t actually use them very often so I’m really glad I got to do it in this ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

Full view pls!


“heeey!!” she promptly greets him once he walks in the door, grin bright as ever. slender arms wrap around his neck as betty inches closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “welcome home. dinner’s almost ready.” she’ll hold off on telling him she started early because there was not much else to do. with her pregnancy nearing term ( and the recent news they were expecting twins ), betty was home at practically all times, almost on constant bed rest. all the stressful things that came with learning about her pregnancy ( her parents’ disapproval, the constant fights until she eventually moved out, and the ever present worry of how she and jughead would manage when all the odds were against them ) made for a bumpy ride, and the doctor had told her rest was absolutely necessary.

too bad that meant she barely got to see jughead, who was constantly working just to keep them afloat. it was a selfish feeling, but she missed him      thoughts which, of course, she could not voice to him. she didn’t want to make it seem as though she wasn’t entirely grateful for the sacrifices he was making ( and ultimately guilty she couldn’t contribute to the situation as he did ).

so she puts on her best smile like she always does, hoping that showing some positivity, being his anchor of sorts, would help improve his mood, even if a little. she pushes her own anxieties down, the constant fear that they’re growing distant and that he’s slipping away from her.

fingers slowly reach for his hair, gently brushing dark curls away from his face. “how was work?”

Oh my god, I just imagined Booknerd!Percy.

•Percy having his own personal library in his house. It’s huge, it leaves little space for his bed, but he doesn’t mind.

•When he didn’t know how to read, Sally would read him Greek and Roman mythology books at night.

•He has his own personal blue beanbag that he sits on and read all of his favorite books.

•Dressing up as characters from books for Halloween and no one would be able to guess what he was dressed up as.

•He gets so mad when one of book’s pages were folded or were stained with a substance.

•He hates some movies based on books because they didn’t follow the plot line and ruined everything for him.

•He took tips from books when he had a crush on Annabeth on how to kiss better.

•He couldn’t decide what his favorite book is, until Annabeth gave him one for his 18th birthday and he decided that it was his favorite.


•He gets very embarrased when he shows his collection of books.

•On boring Sundays, he took the chance to try and organize his library, but he wasn’t very good at it so he usually called Annabeth when she was in town and they would organize it together. Organizing Books and Chill.

•He sneaks his books under the desk and read at school. Which caused him multiple detentions because the teachers hated him.

•He’s in multiple book fandoms and becomes one of us.

•He has all of his favorite quotes in his books highlighted in different colors.

•In the Poseidon cabin, he normally has books lying around, which he always hides under the bed when cleaning inspection came.

•Not many people know that he reads, just most of his Camp friends. Not a single mortal one (except Rachel).

•Sometimes he goes to Cabin 6 to ask if they have any good books.

•In the Argo, he’d constantly complain to Annabeth that he doesn’t books to read.

•It actually really surprises The Seven except Annabeth, because they all thought he wasn’t the book type and was plain stupid.

•He once gave Annabeth one of his most prized books when they arrived to Camp Half Blood after Tartarus.

•Annabeth had almost not accepted, because she knew he loved his books and absolutely did not give any of his books away. It was like giving a piece of his soul to her, and she didn’t think she meant that much to him.

He started reading when Gabe was abusing him because it was like escaping to a different world, especially when bad days occured, when he was teased way too much at school and then getting beaten at home.

anonymous asked:

I did unfollow on your main because you were attacking people who said they didn't like things about steven universe and you said we were bitching and whining and it was just really rude. And ok, while I was writing the post I forgot your pronouns and just used they to be on the safe side. Like I said I'm sorry just i just shouldn't have said anything i have ptsd too and it just gets scary and uncomfy i'll jut unfolow i'm sorry have a good day

“Attacking people”? I’m pretty sure my posts just said “wow you guys should calm down instead of tearing a kids show apart” but ok. It just annoys me to see people attacking artists and creators because a show isn’t perfect for them. And it’s my main account so I’m allowed to do that???? If you have a problem with me, come to my main account, don’t just come here and complain about a different blog. I’m allowed to post whatever I want on my main blog. You guys can always check me here to make sure I’m not posting anything triggering or annoying or something, but you do not get to control what I post on my main

I hate myself for thinking this, but I think it was right that Wang So ended up alone. Don’t get me wrong -  I don’t like the way it was executed, but I do think it was right that Wang So ended up alone. I just felt cheated because if Show was going to tear me apart, they should have done it right, and they didn’t. They had a really good chance to completely rip my heart out and they failed at it, instead giving me this lackluster ending where I don’t feel sad or happy.

The reason why I say So was meant to end up alone is because the show paralleled So with Taejo and Soo with Oh Sanggung. I truly believe that for that era, there was no way a king could be king AND be happy. It’s just too unrealistic; Goryeo is a country that is still unstable at this time. It’s literally a RECENTLY unified country, less than 100 years old, and there were still different clans ruling it. To put it in perspective, the modern-day U.S. is 500 years old and still struggles with balancing the states’ and national governments’ power.

The difference between So and Taejo’s narrative, however, is that Oh Sanggung was willing to give up everything of hers for Taejo, but Hae Soo didn’t do that for Wang So. Oh Sanggung allowed herself to be broken in every way possible, but Hae Soo held back. Perhaps that’s why the way she left Wang So was so jarring to me at first - it was because I had seen Oh Sanggung’s sacrifice, and put that on a pedestal. Then when I saw how selfish Hae Soo was, I was put off by it. Why didn’t she trust So? Why wasn’t she giving him the benefit of the doubt, and trusting everyone else?

I think it was her defense mechanism. If she SAID that she hated So, if she SAID that she didn’t trust him, if she INTENTIONALLY pushed him away, it would be all the easier to leave him. And that was what she needed to do. And it’s NOT BECAUSE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS TOXIC, but because the palace was not a place where they could love each other. Their love has been unconventional from the start, but the palace is not the place for unconventional, beautiful love. For that time period, the palace was NEVER going to be a place where Soo could be happy. I would be a fool to think that it could ever get easier for Soo if she stayed there.

Now, the way she left him. It was awful, there’s no doubt about that. It didn’t even really make sense. But I think that’s because there’s no way it could make sense. They loved each other so much. There couldn’t be any good reason why one would leave the other. So, the only possible reasons left were the unreasonable ones. And that’s the route Soo chose. In the end, I don’t think So believed it when Soo said “Sometimes, I hate you.” I think he knew she loved him to the end, but he knew that she was letting go of him. I really think he understood that she was pushing him away and saying all this stupid stuff because she needed to make something up so that she could leave.

What I wish the show did, however, was show us what Soo was thinking. That would have really torn me apart. I wish the show gave us even one candid moment where Soo said to So, “I’m sorry that I’ll be leaving you alone but I need to live.” or even to herself, “I love him but I need to leave this place. But the only way to let go of him is to force myself not to love him anymore.” Where was the girl from the beginning, who wanted so badly to live? Who told people that it wasn’t a crime to want to live? She should have been given a moment to express that, so that I can empathize with her.

I think the show was trying to express that the throne is a lonely seat, no matter how hard you try. And So is a great person to the end - he was kind to the little girl, he freed slaves, etc.etc. But just because he deserves happiness, doesn’t mean he will get it. I just wish the show executed that idea in such a way that it completely skinned me alive and left me raw.

the signs as quotes from "the room"
  • Aries: Hahaha what a story Mark.
  • Taurus: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer
  • Gemini: Anyway, how's your sex life?
  • Cancer: Don't worry about it.
  • Leo: How many people come in and out of this apartment every day?
  • Virgo: The candles, the music, the sexy dress - I mean, what's going on here?
  • Libra: Peter, you always play psychologist with us.
  • Scorpio: If a lot of people loved each other, the world would be a better place to live.
  • Sagittarius: You don't have me! You'll never have me!
  • Capricorn: Hi doggie.
  • Aquarius: I just like to watch you guys.