it just screamed at me 'do it!'

Do you ever have those moments where you just lose all sense of self and sit there internally screaming while blankly staring into space because me too

I hate her, except that I don’t hate her. I love her, but she makes me cry, she gives me headaches. She triggers my anxiety attacks and she blames me for things I didn’t do. She screams and gets mad at me over the smallest things. She has always treated me that way, and I know I’m acting just like her sometimes. I hate her for that, I hate her for screwing me up. She should have raised me but instead she just stood there and watched me become a mentally unstable girl. Thanks mom.
—  Excerpts of stories I’ll never finish// #202







anonymous asked:

My mom is baby sitting her friend's child today and I was just sitting at my desk and randomly just wanted to check your page. So I did just that aND LITERALLY SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THE CAMBOY AU COMIC AND EVERYONE JUST STARED AT ME EVEN THE SMOL CHILD XD Anyway, I've been waiting for you to draw the Camboy AU,, your art seriously gives me life :0

Oh SHIT IM BLUSHING! do people really look forward on seeing my posts?!?!?? YOURE MAKING ME FLUSTERED


And it is officially Thursday here so I’m posting SUPER SPOILERS… Action Comics #976 by the master Dan Jurgens, and beautiful art by Doug Mahnke.

So today I woke up extra early and the first thing I did was buy and download Action Comics. I was promised that Superman: Reborn would be an epic tale of …well Superman proportions.

Was I nervous? Yes, hell yes! I’d just gone through years and years of the New52 and the Fauxmance (Super💔Wonder). I was promised that Superman and Lois would be used in stories that mattered… well, they sure as hell did not matter to me. To me I kept saying, nay, screaming that his collared freak was not my Superman. What do I mean by “My Superman”… confession time: I’ve only ever owned about 25 comics before the New52. I came in wanting the Superman I knew from the animated series, Lois and Clark TNAS, and Smallville. I didn’t find him in New52 comics. Who I found was a coward. A loner. A depressed person that was never happy with his life. And why was he like this? Because he never chased what he wanted: Lois Lane and his life.

In this issue of Action Comics, all that, though small, changed. I believe that given what they was given Dan Jurgens, Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason told a story that redeems New52 Superman’s mistakes. Why? It wasn’t his fault. He was kept from all the dreams he wanted to live. And ultimately, a truly evil force killed him.

In this issue, that has foundations as far back as Justice League International Annual 1 (released the same day as Justice League 12, to give true Superman fans hope) this issue does what the New52 couldn’t even dream of doing: it told a true Superman story.

And what my dear readers and friends is a true Superman story? A love story. A story about a man and his woman. A story about Clark Kent and Lois Lane. But this one truly becomes a modern classic with the addition of Jonathan Samuel Kent. There is the true love of lovers and the pure love of a family.

Not only does this issue erase a mistake that killed New52 Superman (his abusive relationship with a fake Wonder Woman) but it fuses yesterday, today and tomorrow. All stories matter. All stories have lead us to this moment. And now, everything is truly going to be okay.

I used to wake up fearing comic book Wednesday, and now thanks to Jurgens, Tomasi and Gleason, I have hope for a better tomorrow. I have hope I’m going to be happy.

DC Comics, you got it right.

True love truly conquers all.

P.s. Clois Lovers, do not let anyone ruin today for you. This is our victory. No one can rob this moment away. Don’t let sore losers dampen your happiness, go out and celebrate.

anonymous asked:

y do maya + blue have full romance bar....... brat was goin on.................

omg i have 2 answer this againn and im gonna scream IT THIS TIME ATTENTION::::::::::::::::::::: its just a glitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its  actually arthur n mayas relationship but it gets stuck sometimes ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no matter who i am selected on it will stay on the top of my screen ok :’-( im screaming my game wants to make me problematic

Decided to binge-watch all of Underverse so far and it’s even more magical than I remembered it being :’) I still get that hyped-want-to-scream feeling in my chest with every episode :D Definitely want to draw something for the Underversary, just not sure what yet…

anonymous asked:

when did you start shipping white rose? when i started rwby i liked the concept of monos but then tumblr totally converted me to WR lol

Fanfics and fan art is what got me into White Rose. It kinda goes back to that whole “don’t need them to be canon” thing. Because while I love their interactions in the series and love how close they’ve become and want that to grow - I don’t watch the show looking for shippy moments. I do with bumbleby, because that’s been written like a romance. But with White Rose it’s more just like…a fandom thing. 

Now don’t get me wrong, if WR became canon I would SCREAM and it could/would work so well with their dynamic. Like the fandom stuff doesn’t just come from nothing. Still, it mostly came as I dived deeper into the creative side of the RWBY fandom. 

miamorbarba  asked:

DUDE but can we just talk about #140 “I thought you were dead…” with Barba??? I'm not ready, your writing is going to be the death of

@miamorbarba is a sweet angel sent from heaven. They are to sweet to me.

Hope you enjoy! Warning: Mentions of death, labor, gunshots. This one got me. I was crying while I was writing it.

“No, no, no, no, no!” You screamed and clutched your stomach as you watch the events unfold on the TV. Soon your vision became blurred as hot tears ran down your cheeks. “I have to get down there. I have to get to the courthouse.” You continued to scream, still holding your stomach. Fin caught you before you fell and then saw the liquid pouring down your legs. 

“Y/N, I think your water just broke. We need to get you to the hospital”

“No I can’t do this now. I need him.We were supposed to do this together. I can’t do this without him.” You were hysterical. You had every right to be. You just watched your husband get shot on the steps of the courthouse on live TV.  “I can’t do this without him Fin. I.. I.. I can’t breathe.” 

“Somebody call a bus!” He picked you up and carried you to the elevator. “Hang on Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I can’t do this without him. I can’t.” Everything was blurry and you felt like you were going to pass out. “I need him. I need Rafi. I can’t…”

The elevator opened and the paramedics were waiting. They got you into the ambulance and sped towards the hospital. 

“What happened?” They looked to Fin.

“There was a shooting at the courthouse. Her husband was the target. She saw it on TV. She’s due in three weeks. After she saw it happen her water broke.”

“Did she fall or lose consciousness?”

“She started to fall but I caught her. No she hasn’t lost consciousness.”

You arrived at the hospital but you couldn’t seem to speak. You just cried.

“Alright what do we got?” “Mid-twenties, 37 weeks pregnant, went into labor after seeing her husband get shot at on TV.” “Alright this baby is in distress we’re gonna have to do an emergency c-section. Let’s go.”

“I can’t do this without him. I can’t.”

“Hi, I’m Dr. Montgomery. Can you tell me your name?”

“Y/N Barba.” You choked out between gasps.

“Well Y/N, your baby seems to be having some trouble so we’re gonna have to do a C-Section. Everything is going to be okay. We’re gonna take care of you and we’ll get through this together.” She took your hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll be here the whole time. We’re gonna get through this.”

“He’s dead. I can’t raise this baby alone. I need him. I can’t… I can’t..” You let out a blood curdling scream as another contraction hit and then everything went black.

You woke up and everything was fuzzy. You tried to focus in and figure out where you were. When you finally were able to see you looked up at the TV and saw them replaying the events at the courthouse and remembered. You started crying again and hyperventilating. In seconds two nurses and Dr. Montgomery were in the room and one shut off the TV.

“Y/N everything is alright. It’s Dr. Montgomery. You’re fine. It’s okay. Just take deep breaths.”

“Is the baby… Did he… Are they…”

“The baby is fine. With all of the stress, the baby was just having trouble breathing but he is fine and is waiting on his mother.” She motioned for one of the nurses to go and get someone. Your breathing slowed.

The door opened again but you turned away. You couldn’t look at your child. He would only remind you of Rafael. You were supposed to have a big family, grow old together. Now none of that would happen.

“Would you like to meet our son?” You snapped your head in the direction of the door. There was Rafael standing in the doorway holding your son.

“Rafael? I thought you were dead! I saw you at the courthouse. You… Rafael I thought I lost you. I thought you were dead.”

“Shhh… It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m here. I’m alive. Both of us are fine. I’m only sorry I wasn’t there when our little boy arrived.” He walked over to you and handed over your son. You grabbed his hand and looked down at your son. 

“Please don’t ever leave me. I couldn’t go on without you. I love you so much.”

“I’m not going anywhere Y/N. I’m not leaving you or our son. Or any other person who comes along.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead. 

“I thought I lost you Raf.” You leaned into his touch as he moved his hand to cup your face. “You were there and then… I thought I lost you. Just.. Just hold me now.”

“I’m here.” 

“That’s all I need to know.”

When love isnt enough:About that

Mature content and strong language
Divergent fanfiction: Eric/OC
@pathybo @tigpooh67 @ljvosscmt
@beautifulramblingbrains @beltz2016 @clublulu333 @scorpio2009 @frecklefaceb @societalfailure @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @glamlover87 @dani5102 @angolodiparadiso @mom2reesie @ariwolff14 @james-k-delaney @ericdauntless @drowning-in-my-dreams @crystalbaby12 @muffinmano @sparklemichele @singingpeople

Standing at the edge of the pit and I am ready to have a melt down. Where the hell did he go. I am convinced he snuck out of the compound again. I turn down the corridor stomping like a child throwing a tempertantrum. I don’t want to have to talk to Amar by myself. I am not a very good liar. What do I even say?
Before I can even comprehend what is happening I am being jerked down a dark side corridor. I pull back my fist prepared to scream just as I get let go.

“Aleisia sweetheart, hey, hey it’s just me.” Eric. Of course.
“You need to stop doing that jerk,” he has been doing this to me for months now. I slapped his chest as he just tries not to laugh.
“Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you? ”
“The computer lab. I had a few things to do. I don’t want to talk about it in the open. I’ll tell you tonight at home.” Home? I think I might like the sound of that. Something I use to think I didn’t want. A home with a significant other.

“Is something wrong?” oops. Train jumped the track for a second.
“Actually yes. Amar knows we got off the train at four thirty. I don’t know what else he knows. He wants us both in his office.” he doesn’t look pleased.

His face takes on a dark sinster look. For the first time in awhile he is actually scarring me. He must realize what he looks like, he lets his features relax and circles his arms around me.
“Sorry. Just threw me off. Nobody can know where we went. Audrianna’s life depends on it.”
“I know. But you need to promise me you aren’t going to hurt my uncle.” I think this is part of why I don’t fully trust him yet.
“I won’t hurt him. I may have to adjust his memory though.” he cocks his head to the side in thought.
“I can live with that. Stop thinking so hard. Your Erudite is showing.” At this he lets out a small laugh.
“I have to stop at the dorms quick first, but lets go now.”

I knock lightly on Amar’s office door. This whole situation is making me feel uneasy. Eric too I think. After being invited in we enter and sit down while Amar is studying our every move.
“I swear I think you are part Candor sometimes,” I snipe at him.
“Worse.” is all he says.
“You wanted to see us sir.” Eric is rigid and tense.
“Relax Coulter. Neither of you are in trouble. I have no intentions of telling anyone you left. I have something’s to discuss with you both and this one needs to not lie to me,” he narrowed his eyes in my direction.
“We just wen-”
“Shut up son. I don’t want you lieing to me either.” Eric’s eyes darkened.
“After initiation I must leave the city. I need to fake my death. You two are going to help me. In the meantime we need to make plans on how your going to stop Jeanine and stop a war.”

Eric’s eyes went wide, then his face twisted into a feral look. What the hell was Amar talking about and what did he know? I started to panic. I was afraid a fight was going to break out and it would be nasty. But Eric actually surprised me
“This really is not the place to discuss such matters with all due respect sure.” he is calm. A little too calm.
“Relax son. My cameras in here are on a repetitive loop right now.” he smiles coyly.
“Amar I don’t understand. What on Earth are you talking about.”
“Well I had to wait and see who you decided on first Little Bit. Thing’s are not as they seem. However young Coulter here is already well aware of that. Seeing as how you chose Eric now you two are just about the cities last hope.” he is serious. This can’t be good.

“Sir I think you are mistaken. I don’t know what you think I know,” he cuts Eric off again.
“Jeanine is your mother not Elaine. I knew your father. He was a good friend. She murdered him along with my brother. For being Divergent.”

“Jeanine murdered my father? Uncle have you been dabbling in the herb garden again?” this is insane.
“You knew my father? How do you know everything you know? How do I know I can trust you? That you aren’t lieing to me.” Eric seems torn between excited and suspicious.
“Easy. I will show you. Follow me. Both of you,” he stands and we all head to the lower levels of Dauntless.

This is a place I didn’t even know existed. I can feel the unease and tenison radiating from the man standing next to me. After everything he told me I suppose I understand.
Soon we arrive in a low lit area in front of rows of I think storage lockers. We stopped at the last and largest one.

Amar pulled out keys and unlocked it. He motioned Eric over to help him lift the door. Inside where lots of boxes, furniture, a safe, a damn motorcycle. I thought those were obsolete.
“What is all of this,” Eric was eyeing the motorcycle like it was a precious resource or something.
“It’s yours. These are all your father’s belongings. Rusty left everthing he had to you. His only child.” he surveyed the contents before turning to Amar.
“He knew about me? Why didn’t he rescue me from those idiots in Erudite?” I can’t tell if he is more angry or hurt.
“He tried. Candor ruled in Jeanine and Elaine’s favor. He was killed three weeks later.”
“His name was Rusty?” how is he so damn calm?
“Rusty Garrens. Your Aunt is still here in Dauntless. Your uncle is in Candor. He watches over Ryan for me.”
“I have more family? Do they know about me?” he looks like he might get sick. I know I would.
“Albert knew of you but not who you or your mother are. Dawn does not. Both of your grandparents are gone I think. Or at least Factionless. This is Dauntless you know.” The two men stepped inside the large unit. Amar gave Eric a gold and a silver key.
“The silver one opens the door. Gold the safe.”
“May I?” he nods to the safe.
“Of course. It is after all yours.” my uncle smiled and patted him on the shoulder.
“How do you know all of the things you know? Why did you wait so long to tell me?” he inquiries while working on opening the safe.
“Rus and Tish were Dauntless born. Raul, Jeanine and myself Erudite. Of course Raul loved Tish. They met at school. He knew she would never leave Dauntless, so he came here. He was best friends with Rusty and he always had an eye for Jeanine.”
“She was never going to leave Erudite. Your grandmother groomed her to take over as leader since she could walk. Rusty wasn’t going to ever leave here either. Jeanine was furious. The only man she ever had eyes for and he defied her. Refused to join her.”
“How the hell did she manage to conceive me? I am extremely curious.” I could see that Erudite brain turning.

“She begged Rus. But they had to do it the way they did to not be found out as faction traitors guilty of treason. When Rusty found out Elaine actually had you and how Michael treated you he marched right into Erudite threatened to kill both of them and tried to take you. Needless to say he didn’t get far.”

“He went to Albert in Candor and was granted a closed circuit investigation and trial and custody proceedings. Jeanine won. She vowed revenge. Always was a bitter, cruel bitch.”

“She use to use Rus and Raul for trial runs on all new forms of fear serums. That’s how she discovered they where Divergents.” my uncle looked so sad. I have never seen such sorrow in his eyes.
“She used the Factionless riots to cover up their murder’s didn’t she?” Hell fire burned in Eric’s eyes.
“Precisely. I always figured you would end up here. Waited for it. Then you and Four end up going toe to toe over my niece right before my very eyes. Reminded me of Raul and his friend David over Tish years ago.” my cheeks flamed red while my uncle winked at me.
“I sat back waiting to see what path she would choose. I always planned things this way. I just didn’t know if she would end up part of this. As long as you control your damn temper and treat her right, I couldn’t be more pleased.” he smiled brightly at Eric.

“I swear I just want to keep her safe. See if she can show me how to love. She’s already given me someone to trust,” I felt tears sting my eyes.
“I have a long way to go. I’m extremely damaged I am afraid. But I try every day. For her.” he was pulling large yellow envelopes out of the safe.

“Let’s take the envelopes and have dinner at my place yeah.” Amar suggested.
“Sure. I’d like that. Can you carry a few of these for me sweetheart.”

“Absolutely fucking not!!” Eric slammed his hand on the table.
“She will NEVER have contact with Jeanine let alone volunteer to hunt Divergents. Have you lost your fucking mind,” Amar sighed while Eric raged.
“You need people you trust if we are to save as many people as possible. I trust my niece with my life.”

The conversation went south quickly. It was suggested I help so we could deceive and gather intel on Jeanine. Amar also felt it would eliminate her from using me as leverage and deemed it safer.
“Eric it would be the safest thing for her. Besides, she would even out your damn temper. ” they are giving me a headache. I was ready to go home.

“Call it a night. Take her home get her in bed. Think about it. We have time still.”

“There is nothing to think about. Not fucking happening. Wait. Did you just give me permission to stay with Aleisia? ” I was shocked to say the least because that was sure what it sounded like.
Amar just gave him a sly grin.
“Permission? No. Just don’t get caught same as you haven’t for weeks now. It’ll be fine.”
“You’ve known?” I want to die of embarrassment. I figured my mother knew, but never Amar.
“I know more than you think Little Bit. It puts my mind at ease, you not being by yourself so much, a man to protect you and your mother. I think after initiation is done he should just move in if it’s ok with the three of you. Your mother suggested it.” what the hell? I don’t even know if Eric would want to live with us.
“We can all have dinner here on Sunday to discuss it. Get home you two, it’s late. It’s been an emotional evening and Eric still has training in the morning.” what a day. It was beyond crazy and insane.

We laid in bed opening up the large yellow envelopes from the safe. There was pictures of Eric when he was young.

anonymous asked:

Just watched the episode and I am dead and dying like Len keeps doing. I haven't been able to find much in the way of satisfying coldwave fic, do you have any recs? I agree 2x08 only made me crave more. I cannot handle how this relationship affects me and the homoeroticism on the fly but so in your face without any actual making out puts the tension in my britches so tight I could bounce a penny off my panties. Thank you for letting me freak out to your askbox cuz I have no coldwave friends!

hahaha omg no please come any time! I don’t have many people I can scream about Coldwave at. I usually just scream at you guys through my posts instead.

Not sure if what I read is your cup of tea, but I have a few favourites that I’ve bookmarked on AO3. I added a quick summary to each of them. They’re under the cut as I realize it’s a pretty long list

Keep reading

🙄The Stupidity🙄 (Big space post!)

Bunch of ant!s: *reblog my post and tag it in the ant! tag so other ant!s can see it and send me hate*

Ant!s: *screaming at me* DO NOT PUT THIS IN THE ANT! TAG.

Me: I didn’t, you stupid bitch. How fucking stupid are you? Do you even have a brain? Or is it just empty space between your ears?


Bunch of ant!s: STAY OUT OF AFW TAGS!

Me: *is a sfw person in a sfw work community, but says whatever and only tags stuff with cglre tags* Let’s make a new tag since this one doesn’t want us interacting!


Me: Bitch??? I made my own tag??? I legit did exactly what I’m supposed to? Nope. You in fact to not have a brain. What the hell is your skull holding???



Me: *has only ever dated adults and doesn’t even have ANY underage friends AND is not even into ageplay* Cottage cheese. You have cottage cheese where a brain should be. I’m afraid a symptom is spouting off the wall nonsense that has no basis in fact or logic, which will in turn lead people to rightly believe that you are an idiot. The only cure is shutting the fuck up and never speaking again. I’m so sorry. I wish you the best of luck. *pities them*

genzelda  asked:

Take your time friend. I'm teaching myself to take my time with my art and try not to stress over it. Otherwise its not fun anymore. :3 You are doing your best and that's all that matters.

thanks <3 I’m trying to do that too. it’s hard when The Anxiety™ keeps screaming at me 24/7 that I’m fucking up and letting everyone down by failing to answer asks or finish trades or reply to messages, or even just tackle something serious and story-oriented like I’ve wanted to do for ages but am too scared to take on even if I had the ability?? aaaaaaaAAAAH my best really isn’t good enough lol

thank you though… I appreciate the kind words

anonymous asked:

Honestly nissi no offence but i just saw the jeonlous compilation u made and we need to talk about how much u do for us like putting in the time to compile it all, finding the links and even giving the exact time i hope u know that we rlly appreciate it ur so sweet 😭😭 same with the fanfics 💖💖😭

SCREAMS i just wiped away a single perfect tear its rly no big deal i like doing this kind of thing but it means a lot that u said this !! ur the sweet one here 

anonymous asked:

Do you and your husband every go through phases where your heart-eyes for each other are bigger than others? Im in my first relationship and my partner and i have gone through a couple of short phases where we appreciate our space a little more (still talk and see each other, but its less urgent maybe?) and we go through phases where we feel ridiculously we-need-to-spend-all-of-our-time-together in love. Not sure if these phases are normal, particularly the distant ones.

Oooof course we do. Every couple does. There are times where we need to be super glued together 24/7 and just might die if we aren’t and then there are times when I literally cannot stand him and his breathing makes me want to scream.

I honestly don’t believe you can love someone 24/7/365. You’ve gotta have some fights in there to keep things interesting 😅

anonymous asked:

im really not trying to start drama i promise (im just interested in ur viewpoint) but in regards to your 'main girl ending up with the misunderstood villain' post, how do you think that really applies to dramione (unless you're only talking fanon draco)? because honestly he was consistently, blatantly terrible toward hermione and her friends! nothing about that screams misunderstood to me, and even if he was 'born into it', he still made those decisions on his own accord. thoughts?

Honestly I don’t really even remember canon draco anymore. I think there are a lot of analyses on canon draco which are very interesting to me to read and understand, and I think they’d be able to answer your question a lot more, but if I’m completely honest, the draco I know and love is fanon draco.

however, in an attempt to answer your question: in life, I’ve found that even the most bigoted bullies can learn and grow and be forgiven for the things that they have been taught, and this is simply from my experience, not a universal thing. But I remain an optimist even in the current political climate, lol.

To be honest, I think in youth, draco was stupid and ignorant. It’s not an excuse, it’s simply his reality. He says horrible things because he’s ignorant and also a malicious child who cemented his public image by being an asshole. Later on in the books, I think fear can make a person do anything. And I think that draco, underneath everything, was someone that didnt understand the world that he grew into and was still stuck in the past with his family, someone who was literally never taught about “difference” in a meaningful and understanding way. He was taught to, maybe think that he was superior, but a lot of that superiority complex came from fear–that these people who shouldn’t have magic did, so what else could be possible? I’ve found that when you hate something and think you’re above it, it’s because you’re scared of it and you don’t understand it. Again, we are talking about fear. For draco, it’s both the very physical and threatening fear of Voldemort, as well as the metaphorical fear of what muggleborns stand for/what he was taught.

I personally think that Hermione would’ve been able to…not teach him, because it is not the job of the oppressed to teach the oppresser– but rather be the example to him. Once draco was free of Voldemort, I think he would’ve been able to teach himself and learn in the new society that he lived in because that’s what a lot of people in today’s society are doing as we speak, and him and Hermione finding each other later on–because I believe in my heart that a person can let go of prejudice!–and they would fall in love. And the reasons for them falling in love can probably be outline better by big writers in the dramione fandom. I think bex-chan has a great post on that.

This got really long because I started thinking about real life lmao but I hope I kind of answered your question? I really read too much fucking fanfic and spend too much time thinking about this as my roommates like roasting me for hahaha. Thanks for asking darling!

there are a few moments in xenoblade where the voice acting makes me laugh. like vanea screaming “Br000THERRRR NO!!!!” and dickson saying “better say your GOODBYES” 

but with the main party? im really surprised with how good the voice acting is and what an improvement it is on the japanese version. i feel like you can tell something about all of the characters just by hearing their voice. they also all do a good job of delivering their lines with emotion. 

also i can’t stand riki’s childish voice in the jpn version 

“When I was certain that he was going to kill me, my mind went blank, and I didn’t have any hope any more.  The only thing I could do was scream my lungs out.  I felt so helpless.  I couldn’t even bring myself to believe someone might save me. Then you showed up, Al.  And I realized if we don’t take care of each other, no one else will.  So I’ll do anything in my power to get our bodies back, even if it means being the military’s lapdog.  And we’ll just have to hope our powers are good enough to help us rise above our own limits.  ‘Cause we’re not gods.  We’re humans, tiny, insignificant humans, who couldn’t even save a little girl.”

One of the rare scenes I feel the 2003 anime did better than Brotherhood.  And in honour of the brilliant Vic Mignona, who cites (an abridged version) of this as his favourite line as Ed. 

Listen to him sing the English version of the song playing over this scene.  It’s called Brothers, and it is everything.