it just needs to use the toilet

funny story

When I was in the 7th grade, there was a trip to Quebec. 
On the first night, the teachers came around to make sure that we were all in our rooms, then put a piece of tape over the door and the wall, so they would know who left their room that night.

My friends and I were just too darn excited, and we planned to stay up the whole night. At around 4a.m, my friend went to use the washroom, and… she, well, she clogged the toilet. Really bad. 
I guess she was too embarrassed to ask for help, so she was in the washroom for a good 30 mins, trying to flush this turd down, to the point that it started over flowing.

She burst out of the washroom freaking out, because the shit water was going everywhere. We needed to leave the room and ask for help. 
Despite being terrified of being sent home for leaving our room, we left. There were guards in the hall (hired to make sure we were safe.) and we were practically crying, telling them that we needed a maid ASAP.

Remember, we are in Quebec. Everyone speaks french, and we didn’t. We were screaming “SHIT! TURD! TOILET! COME HELP US!” at these French guards at 5 a.m.

Eventually a maid came into our room, and when she opened up the washroom door, she literally screamed “WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?“

The guards, and the maid were just so horrified at this experience, that we all agreed to keep this between us. The guards ended up smoothing the tape down on our door so the teachers would not find out.

Series of Unfortunate Events curse

-Make a witches ladder and tie it to your target however you’d like (hair, name, etc)

-Tie in items that relate to unlucky things 

  • used up travel toothpaste-> they never seem to have toothpaste when they need it
  • a key with a ‘?’ drawn in sharpie-> you’re gonna be late to work, douche
  • empty battery-> they’re always just too tired to really get any work done
  • loose pieces of yarn-> so they always have that one strand of hair tickling their arm
  • a pushpin-> step on something sharp, asshole
  • a ripped piece of paper with the words “REALLY IMPORTANT THING”->so they always forget that one really important thing
  • an empty toilet roll-> every. single. time.
  • broken birthday candle->nobody remembers their birthday

Charge that sucker with your annoyed motherfucking energy and swirl some fucking smoke on it with a few spritzes of cayenne water for good measure. 

Now stuff it in an old sock and forget about it. Or hang it up. You do you.

I wish people had as much compassion for people with personality disorders as they do for shelter pets. I have a chihuahua I adopted from a shelter. Her name is Kaya and she was mistreated by her previous owners. Whenever she meets new people, she gets hostile. She snarls and barks and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Sometimes someone will make an abrupt movement and she’ll jump so bad that she pees herself. If she has bonded to you, she’ll get more and more distressed the longer you ignore her. Sometimes she gets spiteful and destroys shoes or toilet paper or stuffed animals just to get your attention. All I have to do is explain to my guests that she was abused, and everyone immediately understands that she needs some extra patience and empathy. While we work towards rehabilitating her, everyone understands that she’ll always need some extra attention and love. Why can’t people behave with that same understanding towards people with personality disorders? So many of us act out in ways that seem hostile or explosive because we’re deeply hurt and afraid. Yet, when we inevitably slip up and hurt someone else on our paths to recovery, it seems like no one wants to understand the context. They just want to call us abusers and write us off as toxic.

Bus drive

Ok so we came back from our school skiing trip, we had to drive about 4 hours (🇨🇭) So I am a person… That has to pee very often… So I had to pee.. At about ½ of the way. 2 hours ahead, I couldn’t hold it in for that long. So I asked the teacher. (OH AND IT WAS IN 6th GRADE MIDDLESCHOOL, I WAS ONLY 11 YEARS OLD!!) He just said: “Hah!! I knew it! I tould everyone to use the bathroom before we leave!” Me: “But… I did that…” Asshole Teacher: “Well then, you don’t need to use it.” THE BUS HAD A FUCKING TOILET OKAY?! I got really mad and got back to my place. Everyone herd our conversation.. and you know, children can be assholes. So they started mocking me and laughing at me. Then I went to the teacher again and asked him again, if I could use the toilet in the bus. He got mad (He was very old for a teacher, about 59, he only had one class until he could be retired) So he started talking VERY loudly and said things like: “You’re just like a monkey, go back to the zoo you monkey! (???!) ” Or things like: “Maybe you can be a little princess at home, where your parents spoil you.” (!?!? 11Years old!?) So i sar bak down and .. started crying. Of course everyone made fun of me and for the rest of the year i was the girl: Peepeemonkeyprincess.
Later, I asked AGAIN. He started shouting at me and said if I didn’t stop, he would just kick me out of the bus right here. (I was 11 years old I didn’t have a phone with me and of course I didn’t know how to come home.) So later, we arrived, I ran to my mother crying and told her everything (the parents were waiting for us) The father of my best friend heard it, he was a kickboxer. He got so mad, that he went up to that teacher… And literally boxed him into his face.
He got a lot of trouble later on.
So a few days later, the rector of the school got me out of class. Apparently that teacher was the main and most important teacher. I didn’t give a fuck. The teacher was punished and I got 50 bucks.

Imagine your OTP- Things My SO has said
  • "Oh my god your feet are freezing!!"
  • "Aw. he's an adorable furry little asshole."
  • "Do I be smart and eat healthy, or do I eat Cheesy Death
  • before work?"
  • "I want to get the 12" subwoofer so we can FEEL explosions on movie night!"
  • "Our neighbors hate us."
  • "WHY DO YOU NOT REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER IT'S LITERALLY A FOOT ABOVE THE TOILET."
  • "Uh Oh...Another Feelsy Doctor Who episode?"
  • "WHY. JUST WHY."
  • "Are you ever going to EAT these bananas, or are they just
  • going to become another science experiment?"
  • "BECAUSE REASONS THAT'S WHY."
  • "I may be passed out on the couch when you get home."
  • "Can you NOT touch the toilet please??"
  • "I know. Germaphobe weirdness."
  • "XBOX. STOP BEING A DICK."
  • "We need a bigger bathtub."
  • "Baby no that is not justifiable homicide DO NOT KILL HIM."
  • "You've been picking up a lot of extra shifts... I'm worried you're going to make yourself sick this many days without a day off."
  • "Are you only just now realizing the three-rolls-of-Paper-towels thing?"
  • "What the hell is this in the coffee pot?!"
  • "Sorry you're having a bad day... would chocolate and cuddles make it better?"
  • Write your pairings in the tags

Toilet paper pill box.

Another small fun project for recycling!
These are perfect for little gifts and a cute way to send
your jewelry to customers… it not only give a nice shell of
protection to the treasures you put inside, its cost free, customizable
and keeps recycling on the mind <3

All you need are
- toilet paper rolls
- decor ( i used stamps)
- Tape or glue

Step one: decorate your roll.
I used some of my stamps, but don’t limit yourself to just that… you can
use old paper, photographs, tissue paper, paint,sharpie and whatever else you
have laying around to decorate. Mod podge and some pattered paper would
be fun!

Step two:
Once your roll is decorated to your liking, fold down the corners on one end,
making it look like little cat ears. Make sure they fold over each other so there is no
open gap, and tape down  ( you can also glue the end down)
* side note… if you dont like the look of regular tape, they sell something called washi tape? that comes in all sorts of amazing patterns!

-Step three:
When you have some side sealed and taped down, wrap and place your item/treasures inside the box ( i wrapped up some earrings)
and seal the other end, again making sure they fold over one another so there are no gaps.

- Step four… your done!

Again these are wonderful for gift giving and product packaging.
Small, sturdy, cheap, recycled pill boxes…. you can use old paper towel rolls
too! those are larger and can fit a bit more than TP rolls.

homecoming
— 

That’s what abandonment tasted like

My favorite candy of childhood

I savoured it till I grew sick of it

And every time it touches the tip of my tongue

I bask in the familiarity of it


It seems unfair to come home and be greeted as a throwaway

There’s no slow death, just mutterings and ramblings and

half-hearted whispers, old broken memories, dust and ruin

The neighborhood candy store I used to go to closed down

Too much sweets can be a bad thing

Puke clogged the toilet and cousin Johnny got the plunger to fix the problem but the real problem was inside my core

I knew little, but I understood that the walls of my chest were caving in

I knew how the plunger felt–picked up when needed, forgotten when not

I was just another thing cast out, it was all too familiar


/// “homecoming” came about thanks to @untold-stories-here, who sent me her poem on abandonment (included above mine) and wanted to see what i could come up with. please check out her blog !! she has a very special voice ///

Drabbles - 48

We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.” + Jimin


“Do we need more toilet paper?” He asks while you’re pushing your cart through the produce section of the grocery store. 

“Always.” You grin, holding back a laugh. The other boys come over so often that you’re practically living with seven boys instead of just the one. “Between the guys and our cats, we run out before two weeks have passed.” You pull out a pen from your bag and scribble that in at the bottom of your list.

Jimin smiles. He inspects the oranges piled into a pyramid before picking out six and putting them into a plastic bag. He scoops up a bundle of bananas as you make your way slowly to the vegetable section, before humming thoughtfully, “We need more shampoo too. And cat food. Oh, and Taetae ate all of your ice-cream again.”

“That little bitch,” you mutter, making a mental note to hide your ice cream behind the frozen vegetables. You add those to your grocery list. “On the list, babe.” 

Jimin trails behind you as you push the cart, one hand curling around yours on the top bar. He looks down at the list, the fifty or so items listed there, before offering reluctantly, “Maybe I should take the list and go get some of the other stuff while you get the veggies?”

You pause. That would halve the usual hour that the two of you spent buying groceries…. “But then we won’t be able to make stupid jokes while looking at the cucumbers….” you trail off, pouting. 

“That’s true,” he answers immediately, sidling closer, his eye-smile lighting up his face. “Who cares if it takes us a while. Shopping’s way more fun when we do it together, anyway.” 

“Yep,” you reply, nodding firmly in agreement.

“That reminds me. Hobi-hyung invited me to go see that new movie with the pets and stuff with him, but I said I’d go only if you could come. Are you free this weekend?”

“Now I am,” you say, beaming back at him. 

“Yes!” He hisses happily.

The two of you are checking out the sweet potatoes just then, when you glance up. Two teenagers are watching you with identical looks of disgust on their faces before sneering and walking away. You glare at them in response, turning to your boyfriend. Jimin had noticed them too.

“What was their problem?” You mutter under your breath, throwing several potatoes into a bag. 

“I don’t know,” he replies, watching them with narrowed eyes as they glance over their shoulder at you. “Probably just single and jealous of us… I mean, we’re perfect.” 

“Right?”

“So right.”

The two of you are silent for several moments, gazing down at the misshapen mountain of ginger root before you realize something.

“Oh god. We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

Originally posted by cloudjimin


anonymous asked:

Great vibes! Today I was outside and I really needed to go to the toilet, so I was just resigned to use a cafe's bathroom and was just about to head inside the girls' stall (since I don't usually pass) when one of the staff of the cafe told me "excuse me, the men's is that way" while pointing to the men's stall (!!!)

how I peed over a random guy in the bus

Okay so I’m a girl, I was in one of them buses with toilets in them, this was a two hour trip to a different city, my whole class was there. I needed to pee and proceeded to go to the toilet but since I have claustrophobia I hate using the lock thingys to close any toilet. I just shut them close. Anyway I was there peeing AND the fucking bus took a curve. It was a very curvy curve too, then it hit a bump and the fucking turbulence expulsed me, I hit the door, it opened and I fell on top of a guy who was sitting next to the toilet, I was still in the middle of my pee stream, pants down and I peed on him, the poor unaware dude. I went back to the toilet and cried all the way to the city, I wouldn’t come out, I actually used the safety lock this time so no one would come see me and that’s how I became ‘Golden shower’

3

Taking a sip of your drink, you roll your eyes at your eldest brother trying his hardest to win over some girl. Sam was busy reading through one of the journals left over from the men of letters and you were happy scrolling through your phone- after all it had free wifi. You get up to use the toilet when Sam calls out.
“Where are you going?”
“The loo.” You smile and head over to the door. Before you can get in some obnoxious man seemed to think it was a good idea to stand in the way.

“Sorry can I just get by?” You asked politely. Sam looked up and squinted at the man who was glaring at you. 
The man then smirked “What are you gonna do if I don’t?”

“I don’t know, piss on you. Look I just need the toilet.” You try to push past him but he grabs your collar tightly and shoves you against the wall, his eyes looking you up and down in the creepiest of ways. 

“HEY!” Sam’s shout alerted the entire bar, Dean included who completely forgot about the girls and sprinted over to the man.
Your brothers threw him off you but it proved to be difficult, even for two trained hunters. Before they could go any further with the man you kick him with every bit of energy you could muster down to the floor and stamped between his legs. He cried out in pain and you walked over him to reach the exit.

You ignored everyone’s eyes on you and just focused on getting out. Sam and Dean close behind. “Y/N?” 
“Thanks.” You looked up at them.
“Are you okay?” Sam went for the more concerned big-brother approach where as Dean laughed. “Sam, she totally wrecked that son of a bitch!”  

Sam couldn’t help but huff out a laugh and you giggled. “I’m trained to.” You grin before adding “I still need a wee though.”


Requested by anon

Request:
Hey could I request a fic where the (sister) reader & the boys are at a bar or something & they save her from some creepy guy that tries to drag her out of the bar?? Sorry if this is dark, feel free not to write it if it makes you uncomfortable or anything. xx💚
Hey no dw about it I’m cool with writing sensitive topics ^^ Thanks for requesting! Hope it’s okay

Submission - Theatre AUs
  • You’re an awful driver but I need a ride to practice please slow down.
  • You’re the clumsiest person we’ve all met and the stage manager has demanded you sit in the roller chair and you have to be rolled around everywhere unless you’re going on stage.
  • Somebody flushed a tampon down they’re toilet and we were late so now they’re making us clean the bathroom.
  • “I’m leaving during this twenty minute break to get milkshakes and I need someone to come with me so I’m not bored.”
  • We’re going to a cast party bonfire and it’s in the middle of nowhere. I have young teenagers in this car and dammit we’re lost.
  • “I spit took right on your face I’m so sorry!”
  • There’s a child here and they don’t understand the inappropriate jokes you just made and won’t stop asking me what you mean.
  • You’re a lesbian and I’m gay yet we make everyone else in the cast uncomfortable with our disgusting/sexual flirting.
  • Everyone mistakes our close friendship for fliting and an adult went to the director with their concern of our big age difference.

okay I’m clearly a little bit emotionally fragile to have this reaction but I’m just sitting here happy-crying slightly because my sister brought my nephew into my room to tell me that for the first time in his life he took a dump properly on the toilet

I’M SO PROUD OF HIM

and this is a milestone not only in terms of successful toilet use but cognition and communication, because to pull this off he needed to:

a) learn to recognise the feeling when a poo is imminent but has not yet happened

b) recognise his window of opportunity to do something about it

c) clearly tell his mother he needs to go to the toilet

d) actually use the toilet without freaking out - he cried a little bit because it felt weird but then he calmed down and took care of business like a champ

e) (optional) make his aunt cry with pride by coming into her room and when prompted to tell what he did, saying “poo on the loo” quite intelligibly.

LET THE RECORD SHOW

15 MARCH 2017 AROUND ABOUT 8.00 PM

LITTLE NEPHEW’S TOILET ANNIVERSARY

Newt/Spencer/Tina, Pregnancy

for @katiehavok

11. Pregnancy

A/n:  I just couldn’t make the smut happen.  My muse was being stubborn… This is a modern AU, though.  <3


Tina sighed heavily as she sat down, freezing and concentrating as hard as she could on the pressure she felt in her abdomen.  Did she need to use the toilet again?  Or was it simply the baby shifting?  

“Are you alright, do need help standing up again?” Spencer asked from his chair by the window.  

“I really, REALLY wish you weren’t as observant as you are…” she replied and held out her hand so he could help her up.  

“You do?  I thought perhaps he made up for my unobservant tendencies…” Newt countered.  

She sighed as she made her way to the bathroom.  “You two discuss that while I go to the restroom for the fortieth time today.”  

“Not the fortieth,” Spencer corrected.  “Merely the fifth.”  

Accidental Confessions - D.O

Title: Accidental Confessions (drabble)

Word Count: 538

Pairing: Do Kyungsoo x Reader

Requested by anonymous

“  Could you please do a drabble D.O + 19 (your drabble prompt) ? :3 “

K drama prompt #19 “Over hearing something you shouldn’t have while hiding in the bathroom”

Originally posted by missdyoo

Junmyeon was just leaving when you arrived at the dorm. He let you in with a smile before apologizing but he had places that he needed to go. He told you Kyungsoo would be home any minute so you should make yourself at home. As soon as you’d arrived, he was gone on his way. You sat in the living room for a minute but decided to go use the bathroom and freshen up before he got home. As you were about to flush the toilet and wash your hands, you heard the front door open and two voices growing closer to the bathroom door. Freezing in place, you listened. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were talking about some meeting they had to go to earlier that morning but then your name came up. 

“What are you doing the rest of the day?” Chanyeol asked. 

“Y/n is coming over this afternoon to watch a movie together.” He answered. 

“Ooh. How is it going with Y/n anyway? Have you confessed yet? Or is that what you’re doing today?” Your eyes widened as you tried to quietly rinse your hands off in the sink. 

Keep reading

2

Well I have done all the styles so now i need to fix the bugs before sending it off to testers. Fun time indeed. 

I decided just to do one style for the toilet this time. i have no use for toilets that are not white so it just makes sense to me. The plants will only be in white pots/vases too since the plants themselves have multiple styles. Ah, the limitations of no CASt. I love the little hair care bottles I took and edited from the shower caddy. They work well on mt shower shelf. i think I may do a recolour of those basegame folded towels in the towel palette i did because it makes great clutter for this set. I was going to do a storage box but meh. 

Day 47

THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you everyone that participated in keeping me locked up. Tomorrow is the big day. Since people have pretty much stopped adding time i think its safe to say that i’ll have this thing off when I wake tomorrow.

Well, a few things that learned is that:

1. Shaving sux, lol.

2. Sleeping in the cage was difficult at first but after the first week things kinda worked out.

3. Using the toilet while sitting is ALWAYS a constant reminder BUT the worst is when I needed to stop at a public restroom. Always care TP in the car. 

There are others but not going to get into it now. So, the main worry now is that the whole time I have been swimming and the lock looks to be a bit corroded. It should unlock just fine. 

Thanks again.

Like = 1 day

Reblog = 3 days

Reblog with comment = 5 days

Talking Back

A/N- Did I say I would write  Barry Allen or Grant Gustin one today… ha ha ya sorry I just felt inspired to write this 

{AU Sebastian be Bisexual and there is an extra member of New Directions named Kyle}

[Any Images/gifs I use aren’t my own]

(Song sung is also just improvised lol) 

Summary- You and the New Directions bump into Sebastian and his Warblers  leading to a smack down of insults and stuff which eventually leads to a sing-off against Kyle and Sebastian 

Y/N POV

You and the New Directions just left Lima Bean and were heading back to the school to do a late practice. Of course, when you saw the Warbler’s cars parked in front of the school we all panicked. But Finn and Kyle the groups sort of leaders told us we needed to stop this, even though Santana was completely against it. 

We entered the school and dashed to the choir room, we saw the Warblers with toilet paper rolls in hand. Sebastian smirked and handed his to another Warbler,

“My my what a surprise… what are you doing here so late?” Finn glared,

“We were planning on practicing we just went to Lima Bean first… what are you doing here?” Sebastian looked behind him at his other members,

“I mean isn’t it obvious, we were planning on trashing your room with toilet paper,” He smirked glancing at all of us, but he kept his gaze on me. Kyle stepped up in front of Sebastian,

“Wow that’s real honorable, and you call yourself an honorable man,” Sebastian’s smirk went to a stern glare,

“Did you just challenge my honor? I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition,”

“You want a challenge, Smythe?” Santana laughed,

“You got this Kyle he isn’t that good,” Sebastian chuckled and stepped back, 

Your talk is cheap 

Originally posted by supercanaries

The battle had begun, and the Warblers made a beat

Kyle smirked,

Your moves are fake 

You’re all talk no game

They circled each other both side’s adding harmonies, but Sebastian didn’t even look at Kyle he kept his gaze on you the whole time.

Once Kyle noticed he blocked me from Sebastian's view, but Sebastian still manages to keep his gaze on me.

Originally posted by bobbimorxe

You got no game 

You got no girl

You got no queen

And that’s all your worth

Sebastian took my hand and pulled me with him, Kyle looking surprised. 

Sebastian danced with me, I was honestly too shocked to even do anything about it. 

But Sebastian pulled me close and leaned in by my ear,

I got the girl 

He has no game 

Be with me 

and you’ll be safe

He pulled away and smirked at me,

“I think I won that one don’t you think Y/N?” Kyle stood stunned,

“Uh…” I shuffled awkwardly not knowing what to say.

“Me and my boys will leave but it was obvious that I won,” 

“B-But you played dirty you brought Y/N into it,”

“That’s not playing dirty, it’s called flirting.” He winked at me and him and all the Warblers left. 

I just stood there in shock, I heard Sanatana gag but Rachel and Mercedes came and comfort me.

“Girl that was weird,” Rachel nodded,

“Ya honestly who would’ve thought that Sebastian had a heart,” I just nodded but I noticed something on one of the chairs, I went to grab it. It was a note with a Warbler stamp on it. I showed everyone the envelope,

“Read it Y/N,” Everyone encouraged me to read it, so I broke the wax seal and read the note,

Dear New Directions,

I Sebastian Smythe want to claim a truce of some shorts, I have grown feelings for one of your members and I don’t want this rivalry to interfere with my attempts to flirt with her, So if you agree to this truce then no more pranks, dance/ sing-offs, or smackdowns that I laid on you guys. If you agree to this then use the number at the bottom of the page and tell me,

P.S- Y/N call me ^.~ 

I grinned at that last part, while everyone  looked kinda confused, Kyle looked kinda annoyed,

“So are we gonna agree to it? Cause we all know who he likes…” Finn combed his hands through his hair,

“I think we should, I mean not cause he likes Y/N but because we need to stop this drama it isn’t needed,” We all nodded and I pulled out my phone, typing in the number and sending a text that read,

We agree with your deal

He replied almost immediately 

Great then we are all good

I showed everyone the text, and they nodded. They all prepared the music since we were still going to practice, Kyle approached me.

“Are you going to call him?” 

“Umm… I don’t know,”

“You should…,” I put my phone away,

“We’ll see.” 

It was almost 10 p.m and everyone was saying bye since we just finished practice, I drove home and just jumped on my bed and laid there. I checked my phone to see that I had gotten texts from Sebastian. I read through them somewhat interested…

Hey 

You still at that practice? 

Jesus how long is that practice? 

I’ll wait… not gonna give up

I smiled, and replied back,

Sorry I left you waiting

he replied a couple of minutes later

Oh no it’s cool 

You dance really good

I smiled,

Lol thanks 

We kept talking until midnight and I could barely keep my eyelids open 

I’m super tired I’m gonna go night 

Ok good night beautiful 

I smiled as I put my phone on my bedside table and fell asleep with the last text he sent me on my mind.

(Lol I liked writing this one but if you have any request then go ahead and ask)

Just uses the toilet lol they got stuff to do: aries, gemini, aquarius
Uses their phone on the toilet: saggitarius, pisces, scorpio
Makes sure they wifi is on cuz they aint tryna run up they data: taurus, cancer, virgo
Brings the whole damn phone, charger, and wifi with them: leo, libra, capricorn