it just gives me feelings okay

anonymous asked:

can i req a “how would svt react if their s/o holds their hand a little forcefully when they(svt) are feeling very tired/not in the mood?” thank u!!!

Joshua, Jun, Wonwoo, Woozi, The8 & Vernon would give your hand an affectionate squeeze as well, which would be their way of letting you know they’re all right.

S.Coups, DK, Mingyu, Seungkwan & Dino would look down at you and smile, saying, “Hey, don’t worry about me, I’m just fine.”

Jeonghan & Hoshi would lean their head on your shoulder, and say, “Alright, I’m done pretending I’m not tired… Let me just stay like this for a while, okay?”

thank you for your request!!

I won’t publish the video to not give this person unneccessary views, but I just saw an awful video titled “Autistic Kylo Ren”.

I thought it was going to be a video listing his possible autistic traits, like for Spencer Reid or Sherlock Holmes, but it was just weird dubbing and the guy making the video giving him an awful voice.

[gif of Monica from the tv show “Friends”. She’s incredulous, asking with disbelief : “WHY would someone DO that ?!?!]

The guy precised that “he didn’t intend to mock or represent autism, just to mock the internet in general”.

Okay, but why using the word “autistic” then ? Why do you feel the need to be f*ckin’ ableist ?

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who typed the words “autistic kylo ren” on Google and it’s the first thing that came up to me.

The comments are awful, going from “Kylo Ren was already severly autistic” to the R-word. I don’t see the point in all of this. It’s just… toxic.

I just want some nice headcanons about my characters (I headcanon Kylo Ren, as well as Rey and Finn, as autistic), not a video insulting me while pretending not to do so…

anonymous asked:

helena i'm so disappointed in myself. i really wanted to start off by getting all a's this year, but i didn't beat my habit of procrastination or manage my time well and was very forgetful and got overwhelmed. i think i'm going to earn b's in two of my classes, if not a c in one, and i'm just feeling really disappointed in myself and regretful and worrying this will greatly impact my chances of transferring to a uni and applying for grad school :((( i could have done better...

hey anon! worrying won’t help you at this point but it’s okay to be upset about that. at least now you know how to manage your time better the next time round. also, i find b’s to be great tbh (but that’s just me and my uni system)! don’t give up just yet, grades don’t mean that much anyway, you are really more than your grades 💖

do you ever just look at dan and phil and feel an overwhelming surge of comfort? i’ve never met those men before but the happiness they give me just through a screen is so overwhelmingly comfortable. i could be anxious the whole day but as soon as i hear their voices i’m okay, just for a few minutes. i love them.

hey, you.

hey, yes, i’m talking to you. i know you’re probably scrolling right now but this post wont take too long to read.

i just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you’re beautiful. yes, i know what you’re thinking, wow what an idiot they cant even see me, but that isn’t the case.

regardless of your looks, how long your hair is, how white your teeth are, how skinny you are, how tall you are, the colour of your skin, how big your butt is, you are beautiful. because you’ve made it this far. you have gotten through every fucking day in this shitty universe, and you are here right now, looking at this post. you have survived heartbreak, sadness, loneliness, trauma, and just all the general ups and down of life, and you are alive right now to tell the tale of it. you’ve pushed on through everything.

sometimes it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it, like you’re worth it, but you are. one day, that’ll make sense. you’ll be sitting somewhere nice, watching something, maybe someone, and you’ll remember all of the things you had to get through, and it’ll all make sense. 

congratulate yourself on getting this far. it’s a big thing, yet you’ve done it. if you ever feel like you aren’t worth it, i want you to know that it’s all going to be okay. you impact so many people’s lives, and you are some people’s entire worlds. people love you, they look up to you, they admire you. don’t give anyone the ‘life would go on without me’ excuse, because you know it wouldn’t. no one recovers from that.

you, my friend, are beautiful. dont you dare ever forget it.


*sun & moon my angels (maybe rising too)* 

Aries You know it’s not always going to be like this. You will get out, maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow. But every day that passes brings you closer to where you are supposed to be. Stop listening to people that say you are too childish or too intense or intimidating. If they could see life through your eyes they would find a person with a sophisticated balance between work and play. Don’t let anyone bully you into submission, that is not your place. You are meant to work hard for success, and you can never please everyone. Be the one with compassion for the lost souls and a voice for those who have been silenced. That is your power, own it. 

Taurus Your pain is one of the deepest ones, because it cuts right into your bones, spreading through your entire body in seconds. I know you would rather stay numb but your love is far too important, you have too much to give. You carry everyones weight along with your own, and you do it with so much dignity. You truly love when you can touch the lives of others, but you can’t go on like this with your heart in pieces. Self care is not selfish, you have got to love yourself first. Look inwards, determine what you need to feel loved and love yourself that way. And remember, what you do to numb your pain does not make you a bad person. Today you leave your guilt behind, you don’t deserve it. 

Gemini You’re constantly changing, evolving yourself and your beliefs. Which is a very ambitious trait, for you it’s second nature. You would rather sell your soul to the devil than to stay the same your entire life. But since it’s second nature, that means it’s also your survival instinct. You leave people behind easier than a femme fatale in a 70’s indie film with a head scarf wrapped around her head, driving off into the desert in a Mustang convertible. But believe me when I say you can’t outrun your demons. Seek closure, because in life we leave pieces of ourselves with every person we interact with. If you don’t, you’ll wake up one day with a crack in your mask. Confrontation is worth not being haunted with feelings you don’t remember. 

Cancer Oh baby, I see you. Everyone saying you’re so dainty, so fragile that you start to believe it. Someone once said there is bravery in being soft, bravery most people couldn’t even muster if they wanted to. But don’t you ever mistake your softness for weakness, and don’t you dare let other people tell you how to feel. Be as big and as bold as you want. Don’t you ever be ashamed of what you need out of life, or love for that matter. Even if it’s too much, or maybe nothing at all. Realize, and do this as quickly as you can, that you do not need anyone to feel whole. You are already whole, you have an entire home inside of you. Take care of yourself as such because you are a treasure. Also get a house plant, it will calm your soul when it dances in the sun. 

Leo Oh my dearest. You do realize that no matter the colour in your eyes the light from within you shines like Superman’s goddamn laser beams. Or at least I hope you realize. You have the advantage of a very strong sense of self. Knowing yourself is very important to you. What you need is to never become so jaded that you won’t let yourself change. Otherwise you’ll become a faded version of yourself, addicted to the memory of who you used to be. Baby you just gotta be. Change is natural, and it’s wonderful. You become wiser and you feel deeper. Stop worrying because not everybody you meet is judging you. You are so pure hearted, believe in good intentions. Sometimes all it takes is a little faith. And I have faith in you. 

Virgo My prima ballerina, I see that look deep in your eyes. The pure terror of never achieving your true potential, the way you strive for perfection in everything you do, and at the end of the day you come home and search for solace but you find nothing. Because you’re completely hollow. Stop picking yourself apart in the mirror, don’t you know that success has no face? Everyone around you looks at you in wonder, how a person with this much talent would make themselves so small. Don’t look for the perfect thing or “the one”, because there are many “the ones”. Take your time to find what you are passionate about, and don’t keep pouring yourself into people that take your efforts for granted. In an imperfect world, you are the closest thing we have to perfection and don’t you ever, ever forget that. 

Libra Your pain is standing in a crowd with white noise ringing in your ears. You wonder where you lost yourself, or to who. And you never let it show, because you don’t want to let others know that the laughter has stopped. But you have to go below the surface, even if it hurts. You need to realize that not letting everybody into your life that wants in is a form of self love. Not everyone deserves the sheer adoration that comes with your love. Learn to listen to your own voice, the one that has reduced itself to a whisper. Let it roar because if you don’t put yourself first, no one else will. Choose your friends carefully, practice loyalty, smile at yourself in the mirror because you are that bitch. Take yourself on a date, tell yourself you’re fantastic because honestly, we all wish we could be as effortlessly charming as you. Own that shit. 

Scorpio You put in all this work, all this energy and at last you feel comfortable. Until you feel restless again. You are so volatile, sometimes you don’t even know what you want. All you know is that you want something else. You run on energy. You’ve got that clairvoyant instinct, trust it. Bet everything you have on it. Because when it comes down to it, rock bottom has only one way. Up. The excitement of being alive is to great for you to ever give up on yourself. Be fearless in your mistakes, let the experiences shape you. You’ll know when it’s right. You’ll feel it in your entire body, as your blood stops vibrating. 

Sagittarius I know how it feels to be so empty you are scared nothing will ever be able to fill the void. Determination with no purpose. You always move so fast, but you don’t have to be so afraid. Slow down, take control of your breathing. Feel the force of your heart pumping life into you, the life you always wanted. Practice turning loneliness into solitude, do it for the sake of your heart. Put on your favourite underwear, put on lip balm, live for the light and read more. I know it’s hard but start small, like The Little Prince. Let him take you to places you never thought you would go. And then further. You have to learn who you are outside of others, and you do that by spending time with yourself. Don’t rush, take your time. All that determination will wait for you, until you find the purpose within yourself. I promise. 

Capricorn If anyone can do it, it’s you. You are disciplined, gorgeous and smart, if they don’t like you they respect you. Because you’re not here to start fights. You’re here to start your life. But business is about humans, and humans need trust and connection. Trust yourself, those who love you sure do. Like Virgo, remember success has no face, so leave it out. This is about you and what makes your heart pound harder than anything else. So put on your warrior paint and work until you can ask the bitch from your old school why her boyfriend is your number one fan. 

Aquarius Hi you. Yes you. You are not alone in this world. I know you feel like a ghost amongst the living but you’re not. You are us, all of us. You are what drives us, you and that delirious little brain of yours. I know that you think you are either genius or psycho, but believe me you’re both and it’s excellent. Now, stop treating the masses like they are the birds you put out seeds for in the winter. Get out there, with your empathy and your honesty. You preach that most of the people in this world are good hearted, now it’s time you start believing it too. Start gracing them with your divine presence, and take a chance. Because you are one of those people that can effortlessly interact with people from all walks of life. Unite us, we’ll wait for you. 

Pisces You are whip-clever and slightly nuts. You sometimes find it hard to pin down your own feelings, leaving you a bit confused. Nothing to stress about, just… confused. You sometimes wonder if you are two souls in one body. One wants something extraordinary, and the other wants something else, but just as extraordinary. Try to merge your lanes, make compromises on either side. It will ease your mind as you try to sort out the mess that is your personal life. Now listen to me, if you feel your feelings they are valid, because they are your reality. Have more empathy for yourself, give yourself credit for your efforts and don’t let people take advantage of you or discredit you. The opinions of toxic people simply don’t matter. Also, try to keep your promises. And you know what, sometimes it’s okay to be sad. Watch Romeo + Juliet, stay inside for a few days and try to see a silver lining, like how lucky we are to be able to experience life this deeply.

i need a fic where derek is the king and stiles is his consort/king/1st man/whatever, and it was an arranged marriage, but they grow up together at court as best friends and so they’ve never thought of marrying anyone else. 

stiles is 6 years younger than him, so by the time that stiles is 16, derek is completely in love with him. so derek’s in love with him before they’re married, but he keeps it hidden bc stiles isn’t in love with him and just treats him as a big brother and friend.

so, when they get married, derek is the happiest man in the kingdom and he vows to do everything to make stiles fall in love with him, except tell stiles of course, bc he doesn’t want to pressure stiles into saying he loves derek if he really doesn’t bc he would never force stiles to do anything he didn’t want to do.

i just really want stiles being obsessed with the arts, so derek becomes a huge patronage of literature and invites court poets to write stories for stiles about whatever he wants, and he has artists make paintings of all stiles’ favorite things. and he imports exotic foods, animals, and fabrics from the east and other outlying regions just to see stiles smile. and derek watches stiles as he reads the manuscripts and laughs at the stories, and derek just wants to keep that look in stiles’ eye.

and derek never once fathoms that the whole time, stiles is in love with him, too.

Comforting Edition {Sentence Starters}

  • “I care.”
  • “I love you.”
  • “Just breathe.”
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “You’re safe here.”
  • “Do you need a hug?”
  • “You, me, blanket fort.”
  • “You’re not alone in this.“
  • “It’s alright… I’ve got you.”
  • “You are important to me.”
  • “They won’t find you here.”
  • “You’ve been crying… why?”
  • “It’s alright to cry, you know.
  • “What would help right now?”
  • “Shh, it’s okay. I’m right here.”
  • “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
  • “We’ll face this together, alright?”
  • “You’ve been strong for too long.”
  • “You’re going to be fine, I promise.”
  • “I wish I could take away your pain.“
  • “I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain.“
  • “We can stay here until you feel better.”
  • “I brought you a hot drink and a movie.”
  • “If you ever need a friend, I’m right here.”
  • “You’ll kick this thing’s ass. You’re tough.”
  • “Do you want some tea? Would that help?”
  • “Tell me something: Why were you crying?”
  • “I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
  • “There’s no shame in crying when you need to.”
  • “You are stronger than this. You’ll make it through.”
  • “If you feel like talking, please don’t hesitate to call me.“
  • “Here, you can snuggle under my blanket. I’ll protect you.”
  • “You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
  • “Hey, hey, look at me, okay? Just breathe. You’re safe, now.”
  • “I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I just can’t imagine how hard it must be.”
  • “I might not be able to understand what you’re going through, but I understand you need someone here for you.”

Understand that if you have the audacity to tag me in posts about the Libyan slave trade that show pictures of the gore, severe abuse, organ harvesting, and mutilated bodies I will report your blog, block you, and block your IP adress.

Won’t even think twice. How dare you think that’s okay to just tag someone in and say “spread this”.

Why in God’s name would I willingly spread pictures of mutilated black bodies. If you are a decent human being you shouldn’t need graphic photos of abused people to feel any type of empathy.

There is a difference between showing pictures that give an idea of what’s going on and showing pictures that would induce vomiting from its graphic nature. So keep the posts PG13 at most.

I know the world is desensitized to black pain, but I sure as hell am not.

Counting Orgasms

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Type: Smut, overstimulation, multiple orgasms

Plot: You learn your lesson, a lesson about never lying. To never lie about how good your boyfriend is in bed.

Originally posted by wonhobe

I couldn’t do it. Desperate moans, fingers working vociferously at my clit. Images of my boyfriend painted in my mind. I just could not do it. No matter what I tried. A bath, a sexy movie, listening to my boyfriend’s music. Nothing worked better than his touch. And he deprived me of it recently. I just couldn’t cum without him.

I was driven mad by this. Entirely desperate for such an unobtainable release. I knew he was the only one whom could grant this, and I resented him so much for denying it. Sure, he was busy. But how busy can a man be to deprive his girlfriend of her own basic needs? I needed to vent before a fight brewed. So, I did just that.

“Y/N… Why don’t you just talk to him about it?” My best friend confided in me. We were face timing, and I was begging for a solution to such a peculiar problem.

My eyes widened, “No! Are you kidding! If I were to talk to him about this he would just write me off as being horny and annoying, not sexy and needy.”  I snapped suddenly at my friend, my own sexual tension, and frustration beginning to escape through words.

Her eyes stared at me for a moment, a smile erupting on her face, “You are so sexually frustrated Y/N.” She exclaimed, laughing to the point of tears welling in her eyes.

I rolled your eyes, finding a small laugh bubbling up within you due to hearing her’s. I sighed, “It’s not funny, okay? He hasn’t done anything with me for, like, 2 weeks. I’m dying over here.” I whined, pouting at the joke of it.

My friend snickered, “Is it because you can’t get him up anymore?” She asked deviously, making me gasp immediately.

“What? No! That’s not it at all!” I defended myself, taken aback by her question. I had wondered about this for the past 2 weeks, but soon enough came to the conclusion that it wasn’t my fault, but rather his.

“Then why on earth would your boyfriend not want to fuck you?” My friend challenged, wiggling her eyebrows. I laughed with her at this, shrugging my shoulders.

“I don’t know… He says he’s busy but when he is home he doesn’t do anything. I’ve been trying so damn hard. It feels like he doesn’t want me.” I relished in my own pity party, a frown overtaking my expression.

“Aww, Y/N… I’m sure it’s not your fault! You’re beautiful, okay? I bet he just feels awkward because he knows he isn’t fucking you right.” At this, I laughed. I laughed so hard that I snorted, catching both me and my friend by surprise.

“Come on though, Y/N… Spill it, he isn’t good in bed, is he? Because if he was, he’d be fucking you every night. Hell, if I were gay I would too.” My friend announced, making my laughter never cease to give up, “Come on! Just admit it.” She egged on.

“Okay, okay. I mean, the last time we did anything he couldn’t even make me cum.” I chimed in. My friend’s eyes lit up at this, “I knew it! He can’t make you cum, can he?” She exclaimed.

I went with the sarcasm of the situation and nodded, laughing with her, “Nope. He can’t.” I lied, making her raise her fists and cheer, “I knew it!”

“I can’t?” Yoongi’s voice cut through the happy aura of the environment, my friend going silent, holding back laughter from the awkward situation.

Keep reading

I will hold on to you

@emmagrangergood sent me a prompt 💙 :)

Okay, so I’ll admit, I had my difficulties with this prompt :D (which I’ll put at the end, so you guys can be as oblivious as our boys :D) That’s why it has taken me ridiculously long to get to this ask. I thought of maybe doing something about Auror partners and a fake relationship thing… Maybe I should have gone with that :D Anyway. Another idea hit me when I was listening to Taylor Swift’s new album on repeat ever since she released it and there’s this song and I love it so, so much and so… yeah… here we go :D

It’s also on AO3 :)

He didn’t want to move. There was so much pain. Pain everywhere. His arms, his legs, even his toes felt sore. And thinking, thinking felt like someone was drilling a hole in his head. This really wasn’t fair. Ron never got hungover. Was this the universe’s way of creating balance? Punishing Harry for Ron’s dumb luck?

He tried to sit up, regretting it immediately. His stomach definitely didn’t agree with moving. At all.

“Ugh, I’m never drinking again,” Harry mumbled to himself, slowly sinking back down.

“You say that every time.”

Startled, Harry turned around much quicker than he should have. The room started spinning, making him extremely queasy. His eyes wouldn’t focus properly, but he could make out a naked torso beside him. Pale skin. Blond hair.

“Oh, it’s you. For a moment I thought I would be forced to have a really awkward conversation with one of our friends.”

“Which one of our friends?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you telling me you were so drunk, you would have slept with Blaise? Finnigan? Thomas? Theo?” He paused. “Longbottom? Weasley?”

Harry wanted to laugh, but he was afraid of what his stomach would do then. So instead, he settled into a more comfortable position, putting his hands underneath his pillow.

“God, can you imagine? Besides, you were supposed to keep an eye on me. You know what happens when I drink.”

“I do know. Why do you think I’m here?” Draco said, shaking his head in mock disapproval. It made Harry frown.

“You sleep here almost every night. I don’t even remember the last time you slept in your own bed.”

“Is that a complaint?” Draco said in a challenging tone. Harry wouldn’t have needed to see his face to know there was a smirk on his lips.

“Yes. You’re very clingy in your sleep,” Harry replied with an answering smirk.

“Excuse me, I was under the impression you liked that. Well, if you feel that violated, I’ll just sleep in my room tonight.”

Please don’t.

It was on the tip of Harry’s tongue. He bit his lip to prevent him from embarrassing himself. It was bad enough he had feelings for his flatmate… Okay, at this point, Draco was definitely more than his flatmate. He had become his best friend. He couldn’t ruin that by blurting out something stupid. No.

“Seriously though,” Draco grumbled as he threw back the covers and leaned down to retrieve his clothes, “I can’t believe you were thinking about sleeping with one of our friends. Who, by the way, are all in committed relationships. It would have caused so much drama!”

“I wasn’t thinking about sleeping with anyone!”

Now that wasn’t exactly true. And it became harder and harder to hide it every day. Literally. Draco, running around the flat in just his pants or simply a towel, really wasn’t helping this whole situation either.

“I know you weren’t,” Draco said with a grin as he buttoned up his shirt. “I guess you’ll stay a virgin forever.”

“Hey!” Turning beet red, Harry grabbed one of the pillows and threw it with all his might. “Take that back!”

“They should call you ‘The Boy Who Stayed Abstinent For The Rest Of His Life’.”

If only Draco knew! But even if Harry decided to tell him, he wouldn’t even know where to begin. Just thinking about it made him so nervous, he felt like throwing up. Oh, wait, maybe that wasn’t nervousness… Yeah, it definitely wasn’t nervousness.

“Ugh,” Harry groaned, pressing his face into the mattress.

“Five more minutes, Sleeping Beauty. Then you’ll have to come and help me clean.”

“How come you don’t feel sick? You had more to drink than me!”

“Easy. I’m better at everything,” Draco chuckled with a shrug. Harry rolled his eyes and pulled the covers over his head. Going back to sleep wasn’t an option, though. He’d feel awful afterwards, he knew it. Reluctantly, he manoeuvred himself into a sitting position.

Getting dressed took about ten minutes longer than it usually did. Not only because his stomach protested to this kind of activity, but because he couldn’t find any clean socks.

Harry’s heart instantly began beating faster. Socks. Oh Merlin! He nearly felt assaulted by the memory his mind was suddenly springing on him. It had been such a disaster!

“Draco,” Harry whispered. “Draco, wake up.”

The blond let out a grunt and buried his face in the crook of Harry’s neck.

“Let me sleep.”

Harry chuckled, ruffling his hair. He didn’t want to wait. He knew it was childish. Christmas morning was tomorrow. But he wanted Draco to have his present now.

Christmas had always been a little sad for Harry. It hadn’t even been the fact that he’d had to watch Dudley open his ridiculous amount of presents each year. Well, that too, because it had been a reminder that there was no one in this world who cared for him. At Hogwarts, it had changed. He had come to spend Christmas with his new family. And being with the Weasleys was one of the best things Harry could have imagined. He hadn’t thought it could get any better than that. That was before Draco had joined them.

“Accio present,” he muttered, careful not to move around too much. A moment later, the messily wrapped present flew into his waiting hand.

“Draco,” he whispered again. “Merry Christmas.” He held the present to Draco’s ear. Maybe the crinkling would pique his interest.

“What’s going on?” Slowly, Draco opened one eye and rested his chin on Harry’s chest.

“It’s your Christmas present.”

“You’re supposed to give me that tomorrow. Has nobody taught you how Christmas works?” Draco froze, realising what he had just said. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-”

“It’s okay.” Harry’s smile was genuine and he felt a warm trickle down his chest when Draco gave him one in return.

“Alright, you impatient child. Give me my present.”

Harry watched anxiously as Draco took his time with the wrapping paper. For Merlin’s sake, how long was this going to take? When Draco’s hands stopped moving and his expression became puzzled, Harry stopped breathing.

“Socks. You’re giving me socks?”

Harry pressed his lips together.

“They’re… fluffy socks.”

“Seriously? Socks? The most boring present ever?”

It was hard not to feel hurt.

“And this couldn’t have waited until tomorrow because…” Draco looked at him expectantly.

“I was too excited,” Harry said sheepishly, trying to hide how tense he was. Well, what had he thought Draco’s reaction would be? Of course he’d think it was weird. And boring. Draco had no idea what these socks meant to Harry. What he was trying to say with them.

Keep reading

please don’t settle for someone who doesn’t give a shit about your mental health. they can claim they love you over and over but if they don’t care when you’re down, especially if you have mental illnesses, drop them. my ex girlfriend made me start loving myself only to rip that from me by cheating on me. that seriously broke me. she continued to play with my head and heart constantly, knowing about my illnesses. my current boyfriend, on the other hand, really gives a shit. he asks if i’m okay randomly, he checks up on me constantly, he tells me he loves me all the time, he makes me feel good, he makes me feel like living. he reads up on my mental illnesses and actually wants to help. he’s very supportive. please don’t stay with someone just because they “love” you. sometimes love isn’t enough. they need to care and support you as well.

Ok but Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back is an amazing song. Like, this is one where I forget how fucking good it is until I listen to it or see some lyrics from it. It has some of my favourite lyrics of all time in ONE SONG.

“It ain’t about all the friends you made But the graffiti they write on your grave”

“This ain’t a room full of suicides We’re believers, I believe tonight”


“Who gives a damn if we lose the war Let the walls come down Let the engines roar”

It’s one of those songs that actually makes me feel hopeful, and -for me- embodies the entire spirit of Danger Days. It makes me feel that one day I’ll be okay. Danger Days is about starting to live again, letting yourself be happy. Bright colours, running as fast as you can with your lungs burning in the best way, loud music that keeps you sane, singing along with your friends, laughing until it hurts, rollercoasters and sour sweets

But it’s also about sometimes having negative emotions, and it being normal to be sad or scared or angry. That’s what the whole thing with bli is- the fight to be emotional and human.

And thus ends my rant on another mcr song.


Heo Joon Jae was worried about me~

Their First Magic Item

(Backstory) So I just started playing with my group for the first time (I’m the DM) and about six sessions in I decide that one of the NPCs who likes the group is going to give them their very first magic item (pretty much all of my players are new to DnD so I felt like it was a pretty cool moment)

He gives them a Bag of Holding, the group’s in a tavern, trying to figure out it’s limits and what-not.

Dwarf Cleric: I climb inside the bag!

DM (Me): Okay. It acts as a black pocket dimension. Feels kinda like infinite nothingness

Half-Orc Paladin: I pick up the bag and shake it a bunch!

Me: Alright. Dwarf, you feel no moment. You’re still just in a pocket dimension, unaffected

(Dwarf is let out of the bag)

Half-Orc: I wanna buy 7 pints of ale at the bar… Wait, what happens to liquid in the bag?

Me: You dunno. You could test it out!

Half-Orc: Okay. Here, Dwarf, pour this in

Half-Orc hands Dwarf one pint of ale

Dwarf, without a moment of hesitation: Thanks!!

Dwarf IMMEDIATELY downs the drink in one. Room explodes with laughter

BTS / Another member doesn’t like their S/O

Request: anyway i would like to request bts/exo/got7 (whoever you want really; i love them all) reacting to another member not liking, not getting along m, or hating their s/o.            

thank you for requesting this, i did this reaction with BTS but if you want me to do it with a different group, let me know! 💕

warning: some strong language


Originally posted by samwol

The two of you thought you were alone in the dorm, which was why you had turned the TV on at full volume, and laughed loudly at every single funny thing that happened in the comedic movie that you guys were watching.

Suddenly, the fun was interrupted when the door of Jin’s bedroom was thrown open. Both of you turned to look at Namjoon – who had just burst into the room – with startled expressions.

“Namjoon, what—”

“It’s loud,” Namjoon cut Jin off, a frustrated expression on his face. “You’re loud. Some people are trying to work here.”

“Sorry, we didn’t realize anyone else was here,” you added awkwardly.

Namjoon glared at you. “How would you? You don’t even live here.”

He only told the truth, you tried to tell yourself to avoid feeling hurt by these words. It wasn’t as important what he said, but the way he said it. He looked really annoyed with you and his eyes told you that he’d rather you weren’t here.

“Namjoon,” Jin said, suddenly getting up from the bed. “Can I talk to you outside for a moment?”

“I have to get back to work,” Namjoon turned him down and began to close the door.

“It will only take a moment,” Jin repeated in a stern voice and Namjoon sighed deeply before walking into the hallway to wait for Jin.

“What’s the matter with you?” Jin accused Namjoon, once he closed the door. “Why do you always turn into such a dick whenever Y/n’s over?”

Namjoon debated what to say for a moment and then sighed. “I don’t like her, man.”

Jin hadn’t expected him to say that which is why it took him a moment to regain his balance.

“W-why?” Jin asked.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon shrugged his shoulders, looking down. “Maybe it makes no sense, but she’s just… I don’t know. You’re always with her. Literally, always. You’re late to rehearsals and you’re constantly stuck in your dream world. It’s like… It’s like we lost you.”

“I’m in love, Joon,” Jin said, sighing sadly. “I’m sorry for being late, but I’m not sorry for anything else.”

Namjoon just nodded and swallowed, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

“You haven’t lost me,” Jin continued then. “Maybe I’ve just been a little preoccupied with my relationship but I’m still here. I’m still the same person. And, honestly, it hurts me to see you dislike the girl that I’m in love with. Give her a chance, Joon. Please.”

“I’ll try,” Namjoon said. “I’m happy for you, Jin. I am, even if it doesn’t seem that way. Just… try to find a way to make your relationship and job work, okay? And apologize to Y/n for me.”

Jin nodded his head and the two boys watched each other for a moment before laughing uncomfortably and sharing a quick hug to let each other know that there were no hard feelings between them.


Originally posted by randomgirlwitharobe

Yoongi was exiting his studio, on his way to his bedroom to prepare for your date, when he heard a voice outside of Jin’s room and stopped short.

“He’s not coming,” Jin was talking to someone on the phone. “Ever since he met Y/n, he hasn’t bothered to hang out with us. I’m not going to even ask him.”

Yoongi’s heart started to race when he heard your name slip from Jin’s lips. He listened more intently but he couldn’t hear what the other person on the phone was saying.

“No, I’m pretty sure she tells him not to go,” Jin said, then. “I mean, Yoongi was never a big fan of parties but if we asked him nicely, he would go. But then he started dating—”

Not wanting to hear him say your name again, Yoongi stepped into the room, surprising Jin and forcing him to drop his phone in panic.

“Knocking seems to be a thing that exists!” Jin exclaimed, clutching his chest and breathing deeply. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“What the fuck were you talking about?” Yoongi asked.

“W-what do you mean?” Yoongi saw Jin hang up the phone and put the phone in his back pocket without getting up from the bed.

“I heard you talk about Y/n, hyung,” Yoongi said. “It’s not cool.”

“Oh,” Jin said and then stayed quiet for a moment, trying to choose his next words. “I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that she’s sort of stealing you away from the rest of us, isn’t she?”

“She’s not stealing me away from anyone,” Yoongi replied angrily. “I’m the one who makes the choice to spend as much time with her as I can because, believe it or not, I love her. And I’ve never had anything like that before.”

“Look, I understand but—”

“No, Jin,” Yoongi stopped him, shaking his head. “If there’s a ‘but,’ then you don’t understand. And honestly, I can’t believe you would voluntarily talk shit about someone that means so much to me.”

“I’m not talking shit,” Jin defended himself. “And for the record, you haven’t even introduced her to us.”

“Well, maybe the reason why I haven’t introduced her to you is because you’re already behaving like a dick,” Yoongi said. “It’s already hard for her to be with me, she doesn’t need my friends hating her, too.”

Jin sighed, finally understanding that fighting with Yoongi about this was pointless. He was never going to win.

“I’m sorry,” Jin said, finally. “I’ll be nice. All of us will be. Bring her around sometime.”

Fighting the urge to yell a little more, Yoongi swallowed. “I’ll think about it.”


Originally posted by sosjimin

Hoseok was really excited when he told the rest of the members that you were coming to visit him since he was on tour and hasn’t seen you in a month now. All the other members cheered and congratulated him. All, except for Taehyung, who continued to sit on the couch at the other end of the room.

“Taehyung,” Hoseok called out. “Is something wrong?”

Taehyung raised his head from the phone in his hands and shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, hold on,” Hoseok told the five guys around him and headed towards Taehyung, sitting down next to him once he reached him. “Seriously, what’s the matter?”

Taehyung took a deep breath and locked his phone before turning to look at Hoseok.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Taehyung started. “But I don’t think Y/n is the girl for you.”

Hoseok’s mouth had suddenly gone dry. “Sorry, what?”

“I know you like her and that’s great, hyung,” Taehyung said. “But, really, there’s so many fish in the sea. I could introduce you to—”

“Wait, Taehyung,” Hoseok placed a hand on Taehyung’s face, covering his mouth to prevent him from saying anything else. “What are you trying to tell me? That I shouldn’t be with Y/n?”

“Well…” Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. “She’s just so… weird. And she’s not your type at all.”

“I don’t have a type,” Hoseok said. “And if I did, I’m sure I’d just describe Y/n.”

“You say that now, but, seriously, hyung, she’s just a girl—”

“She’s not just a girl!” Hoseok jumped up from the couch, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. “She’s the love of my life.”

Taehyung wasn’t expecting this. Not even Hoseok himself expected to say that.

Intense silence was the only thing left in the room as Hoseok tried to get himself together. Once he felt like he did, he turned to look at Taehyung with a soft expression.

“I love her,” he told him. “And I’m sorry if you can’t accept that. But I would love it if you at least tried. I’m really not looking for anyone else, Taehyung. I’m happy with her.”

Taehyung swallowed slowly, understanding. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

Hoseok nodded, standing up again.

“Maybe try to get to know Y/n better,” he addressed Taehyung one more time. “I’m sure you’d really like her if you tried.”


Originally posted by rapnamu

Namjoon always claimed that you brought out the best in him and all of the guys seemed to love you for it. They immediately accepted you as one of their own, and whenever the seven of them hung out together, they would invite you, too.

You were more than happy to hang out with them, of course. The only downside was Yoongi.

At first, you thought he looked annoyed all of the time, but then you found out that this was not the case. He was actually a really fun guy. And yet, whenever you were over at the dorm, Yoongi was always looking frustrated. You tried to start up a conversation with him, but he just cut you off shortly, basically letting you know that you shouldn’t even try.

You hated that. You saw how happy it made Namjoon to know that you got along with his friends and you didn’t want him to suddenly be upset because Yoongi seemed to have a problem with you. Which is why you decided to take matters into your own hands.

“Can I talk to you, Yoongi?” you asked him one night, when the eight of you were hanging out in the dorm.

“We’re talking,” Yoongi replied subtly enough, so no one else would notice his immediate change in demeanor.

“No, I mean, alone,” you said. “I just have something I want to tell you.”

Namjoon perked up at this. “Keeping secrets from me, baby?”

You saw Yoongi roll his eyes at the nickname and you frowned for a moment, but then turned to face your boyfriend with a soft smile.

“Of course not,” you told him, quickly kissing him on the cheek. “Actually, this is about you. But I’ll tell you later.”

You stood up from the couch, giving Yoongi an expecting look. He finally realized that he had no choice but to follow you or he’d end up causing a scene in front of the others and that was clearly not what he wanted. So, groaning loudly, he got up from the couch and followed you out of the room.

“Why do you hate me so much?” you asked Yoongi right away, as soon as he closed the door, separating you from the rest of the guys.

“What?” Yoongi blinked. “Where did you get that from?”

“Come on, it’s obvious. You always turn into a huge mess of anger and frustration around me,” you said. “And we’ve barely had any conversations. So, what is it? What have I done wrong?”

Yoongi sighed and looked back to make sure the door was still closed.

“It’s not you, Y/n,” Yoongi said. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, but you’re always here.”

Now that was a punch in your face you weren’t expecting. “I’m not sure how I could get you wrong.”

“No, it’s not what I—” Yoongi shook his head, sighing again. “Okay, thing is, before you come over, Namjoon always gives us a long lecture – emphasis on long – about how we need to be on our best behavior once you’re around. And you’re always around! And all of a sudden, the rest of the guys just got used to you, and they can fool around and avoid Joon’s dirty looks but I can’t.”

You listened patiently, not daring to interrupt him.

“So, it’s not you that I hate,” Yoongi said. “I hate the fact that for some reason, I can’t be myself around you because Namjoon seems to think that you’ll leave him if you don’t like us.”

“That is bullshit,” you spoke finally. “First of all, I’d never leave Namjoon, I love him with all of my heart. Second of all, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Please don’t feel obligated to hold yourself back from whatever you want to do when I’m around. You can be yourself around me.”

“So Namjoon can lock me out of the dorm later? No thanks.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” you said with some hesitation. “I’ll talk to him about this, okay? I really don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

Slowly, Yoongi nodded.

You nodded back. “I’m glad we talked about this.”

“Me too,” Yoongi agreed. “And I’m sorry I gave you the impression that I hated you.”


Originally posted by jikookdetails

Jimin jumped around the back of the stage, telling everyone who listened that his girlfriend was in the audience tonight and he was ecstatic. This wasn’t the first time you would see him perform, but this was the first time you came to their actual concert.

However, thirty minutes until showtime, Jimin’s excitement died down.

“Oh God,” he said loudly. “What if I forget my moves? What if I get so distracted that I forget I’m even on stage? Or worse! What if I forget the lyrics?”

“Whoa,” Hoseok interrupted his self-doubt. “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know,” Jimin admitted. “I just know that Y/n’s here and I want to perform really well, so she would be impressed. But I’m so nervous that I feel like I’ll screw up.”

“Come on, Jimin, you’re always nervous,” Hoseok said with an encouraging smile. “You’ll be great!”

“No, but I’m freaking out,” Jimin continued. “Seriously, what if—”

“Jimin, is this because Y/n’s here?” Hoseok said, suddenly serious. “Because you tend to lose the grip on yourself whenever she’s in the audience. So, maybe – and this is just a suggestion – you shouldn’t bring her to your shows.”

“Shouldn’t bring her to my—what?” Jimin stopped fidgeting and looked at Hoseok with confusion. “But I want her to see me perform.”

“Do you, really?” Hoseok asked. “Because it sounds to me like you just need validation. And you’re making it seem that if you screw up on stage, she’ll dump you. So, I’m just saying that maybe, if you feel this terrified of her seeing you do something wrong, she’s not the one for you.”

Jimin was completely taken aback by his words. “Are you serious, hyung? I just needed you to tell me that everything would be okay, not give me relationship advice.”

“How many times have I told you that everything was going to be okay?” Hoseok countered. “I’m losing patience here. So, I’m sorry, but I’m just telling the truth.”

Hoseok had turned around to walk away, but Jimin grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“Do you… not like Y/n, or something?” he asked carefully.

Hoseok bit his lip, looking for the right way to say this. “When she makes you this nervous – no. Not particularly.”

“But it’s not her that’s making me nervous,” Jimin said. “It’s me.”

“Yeah. And you’re nervous because of her. So, technically…”

Jimin just watched Hoseok for a minute.

“I don’t like this conversation,” Jimin said finally. “I don’t like hearing you say that you don’t like my girlfriend.”

“Okay,” Hoseok shrugged. “I’m going to go find the—”

“No, wait,” Jimin stopped him again. “If I promise to get a grip on myself whenever Y/n’s in the audience, do you promise to never ever use the words ‘hate’ and ‘Y/n’ in the same sentence again?”

“I don’t hate her, Jimin,” Hoseok said with a sigh. “I just don’t like that she turns you into a nervous wreck before every show.”

“It’s not her fault!” Jimin said a little louder than he intended to and a few make-up artists turned their heads to look at them. “It’s my fault I’m nervous. She’s not doing anything wrong. So, dislike me, if you have to. Not her.”


“No, hyung,” Jimin cut him off. “Y/n’s incredible. I love her. There’s no reason for anyone to hate her and I won’t accept it if people do that.”

Hoseok, understanding that this was a lost cause, and Jimin wasn’t even hearing him, just nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Jimin repeated. “I’m going to go to freak out to Jungkook now.”


Originally posted by saintminyoongi

You always found Jungkook intimidating and you’ve told this to Taehyung multiple times. And every time, Taehyung would say that it’s nonsense and that it’s just your imagination because maybe Jungkook just wasn’t used to you yet.

But it’s been a year and Jungkook still left the room when you entered it. Every time he did that, you shot Taehyung a helpless look but he would just shrug his shoulders and smile, making you forget your worries momentarily.

Taehyung always did everything he could to make you feel welcome around the dorm, and the other guys seemed to like you, too. And yet Jungkook’s indifference still made the atmosphere glum for you.

“If this upsets you so much, I’ll talk to him,” Taehyung said one day after he noticed your face fall once Jungkook left the room again. “But really, you have no reason to feel uncomfortable here.”

You nodded but didn’t say anything. Taehyung placed a quick kiss on your temple and got up to find where Jungkook had gone to.

“Jungkook!” he called out in the hallway.

“Yeah?” a voice replied somewhere at the end of the hall and Taehyung headed over there to find Jungkook sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked him.

A little confused, Jungkook shrugged his shoulders. “Sitting.”

“Why’d you leave the living room?” Taehyung said. “We were about to watch a movie. Y/n said—”

An involuntary groan slipped past Jungkook’s lips and Taehyung stopped talking instantly.

“What… the hell was that?” Taehyung asked. “Do you not like Y/n?”

Jungkook stayed quiet but Taehyung wasn’t going to leave him alone.

“Do you seriously not like her?” he asked again. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“You never shut up about her,” Jungkook said so quietly that Taehyung almost didn’t hear him. “Whenever we do something, it’s always like Y/n this, Y/n that.”

Taehyung hadn’t realized that he talked about you that much. “Okay. So, tell me to stop talking about her.”

“I did,” Jungkook said, finally raising his eyes to meet Taehyung’s. “You stopped for, like, five minutes and started again. Do you realize that our team lost nearly every match on Overwatch because you—”

“Please don’t make this about Overwatch,” Taehyung stopped him. “I’m sorry if I annoyed you by talking about her all of the time. But you’re seriously upsetting her by leaving the room every time she comes over.”

“Am I not allowed to hang out elsewhere?” Jungkook said nonchalantly. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s yours. I’m under no obligation to always be around whenever she is.”

This hurt Taehyung for some reason and he needed a moment to recover.

“You’re my best friend,” he told him, then. “And she’s my girlfriend. She gets along with the rest of the guys perfectly but you’re being difficult.”

“I’m not being anything,” Jungkook countered. “And I don’t remember there being a rule that best friends had to get along really well with the other girlfriends.”

“There’s no rule but it would make me happy.”

Jungkook groaned again, forcing Taehyung to sigh.

“Okay. Don’t be friends with Y/n,” he told Jungkook then. “But, please, at least don’t dramatically refuse to be in the same room with her. It’s not cool.”


“And… you would definitely like her if you got to know her,” Taehyung added with a playful smirk. “She’s really good at Overwatch.”

Jungkook squinted at Taehyung. “You’re just saying that to make me like her.”

“No,” Taehyung shook his head. “I’m saying that as a warning.”

“How is that a warning?”

“When you find out how good she is, you’ll want to date her, too,” Taehyung said. “But back off. She’s mine.”


Originally posted by jengkook

The boys had a thirty-minute break before their next interview and they were planning to explore Tokyo for a little while before coming back. Jungkook, however, was holed up in his hotel room.

“I’m good,” Jungkook told Jimin who came to ask him to come with the rest of them. “I’m going to skype-chat with Y/n.”

“You skype-chatted her this morning,” Jimin said matter-of-factly. “Does she not have anything better to do but talk to you?”

“She’s free from school today,” Jungkook answered, not raising his head from his phone. “It happens rarely and I’m using this as an opportunity to talk to her.”

“Jungkook, you’re already texting her,” Jimin said, pointing at his phone. “And you can text her while you’re outside, too.”

“Yeah, but I want to see her. And it’s only possible on Skype.”

“But we want to see you, too!” Jimin said, raising his voice and making Jungkook finally look up at him. “Seriously, ever since you started dating her, we haven’t even heard anything from you. The only time we see you is during rehearsals and on stage when we’re performing.”

“And that proves that you see me for the majority of time every day,” Jungkook replied. “So, I don’t get the problem.”

“The problem is that she has you wrapped around her finger and you don’t even see it,” Jimin snapped. “You’re adjusting your schedule to fit hers. You’re taking extra flights to see her and then show up to rehearsals jetlagged and exhausted. It’s not good for your health. Does she care about that? No, it doesn’t look like she does, she just—”

“Stop right there, Jimin,” Jungkook said, locking his phone and putting it away to concentrate on this conversation. “I don’t remember you being part of my relationship. And I sure as hell don’t remember you talking to Y/n and asking her what she cared about.”

“Okay, no need to get all pissed off,” Jimin said, suddenly a little intimidated by Jungkook’s angry and protective tone. “I’m just stating the obvious. You’re obviously sacrificing a lot to be with her and she’s not doing much—”

“Have you thought that maybe the reason why she’s not doing much is because she can’t?” Jungkook was shouting now. “She can’t fly out to see me, because, unlike me, she doesn’t have enough money to fly around the world whenever she wants to. And she can’t hang out with me as often as she wants because she has exams almost every day. On top of that, she gets hate for simply being my girlfriend. So, I’m sorry if you don’t like the fact that I’m trying to make this relationship easier for her.”

Jimin stayed quiet for a moment. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Of course not,” Jungkook huffed, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I’m sorry for losing my temper. I just wish you understood how scared I am to lose her. This relationship is hard work, for Y/n especially, and it’s even harder when I’m away. But I would never even think about ending it. I love her too much.”

Jimin nodded, no longer having any other comments to add.

“Okay,” he said. “I see. I’m sorry I said those things. Tell Y/n I said hi.”

White Lies: Part 6

A Bucky x Reader / Fake Dating AU Series

Master List

A/N: The response I got from Part 5 was so incredibly awesome, I teared up a few times. You guys are seriously so amazing, and I cannot thank you enough for all the love. I really hope you guys like this part. As always, please feel free to send me asks, reblog, like, reply, whatever you can. Your feedback makes me want to write more. Let me know what you think! ♥

Word Count: 1,906
(i get this is not a drabble series anymore. please don’t remind me.)

- Bucky is a shithead.
- language.

Tags: (at the end)

*gif is not mine.

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks, as you ran up the stairs and slammed the door to the guest bedroom. Putting your entire weight on the door, you slid down the cool wood, ending up in a sitting position on the floor. Curling your knees to your chest, you wrapped your arms around them and cried into the void. All the emotions you’d been storing since the day you met Bucky, right up until the moment he told you he didn’t know how he felt about you, came pouring out in a whirlwind of salty tears and snot.

Why had you given your heart so fully to a man that couldn’t care less about your feelings? Why was he acting like he didn’t care, when all the signs pointed towards the opposite? Why did you still care so much it pained you physically, even though he clearly didn’t give a shit?

A soft knock on the door behind you made you jump, quickly jumping to your feet and wiping away your tears.

“Doll?’ Bucky’s soft, muffled voice murmured through the wood. “Can I please come in?”

“Why?” your voice responded, sounding more hurt and bruised than you wanted it to.

“Because I’d like to talk to you…”

You stood silent, watching the door; the shadows of his nervous, shuffling feet moving back and forth in the small crack between the wood and the floor. He was just as nervous as you. The nervousness between you now had never existed before, and this trip had brought it upon you both.

“Y/N, please,” he begged. You heard a dull thud, as his forehead rested against the door. “I’m a total shithead, okay? Can I please just come in and we can talk about this?”

“You want to talk now?” you asked, your arms folded across your chest.

“How many times do I have to say I’m an asshole before you let me in?”

Rolling your eyes, you huffed and stomped to the door. Swinging it open, Bucky almost fell forward, as he was still leaning against it. It would have been fucking hilarious, under totally different circumstances. You held your ground, your arms crossed and your eyes narrowed. There was no way you were falling under the Barnes spell again.

His hair was totally disheveled, as if he’d been tugging on it profusely. His lips were plump and red from him biting them in panic, and he was pacing back and forth, unable to look you in the eye.

“You wanted to talk,” you said, quickly wiping away one stray tear. “So talk.”

He stopped in his tracks, his hands still fidgeting as he tried to figure out what to say. Finally, he looked at you, and your stupid heart skipped several beats.

“I made you cry.”

“N-no,” you stammered, looking everywhere but at him. You’d be damned if he knew just how much he affected you. “I’m fine.”

“Y/N, I can see how red your eyes are,” he said, taking a step towards you but thinking twice about it. His hand extended out to touch your face, but he pulled it away, as if he was stung by an invisible insect. “Shit…”

“It doesn’t matter,” you sneered, waving his emotions away. He didn’t get to be upset with himself. “Bucky, I told you I’d put on a show for your parents for the rest of our time here, so why are you here?”

“Because I care about you,” Bucky replied, his face wounded. “How could you possibly think I don’t? You’re my best fucking friend. I clearly made you upset.”

There that word was again - friend. Even after everything you’d said to him not an hour before, he still couldn’t give it to you straight. Your blood was boiling in your veins, steam coming from your ears. It was your turn to run your fingers through your hair and tug in frustration.

“Look, I get it, okay? You don’t feel the same way about me that I feel about you. Story of my goddamn life, so you don’t have to feel bad for me. I can get over it, just like I got over every other man who let me down. Just give it to me straight.”

“What do you mean?”

Was he dumb? Did he not understand? Did he need a slap back to reality?

“Tell me exactly how you feel, without worrying about hurting my feelings. Don’t sugar coat shit, Bucky. It’s me. Tell me the truth.”

He cleared his throat, hearing the anger in your voice.

“Doll, I can’t tell you how I feel… because I don’t know how I feel about you.”

“You don’t know?”

“No, I–”

“So after all the flirting we’ve done, the cuddling - after all this time, that meant nothing to you? That kiss meant nothing to you?”

“Now wait a damn minute,” he cut in, anger flaring in his nostrils, his brow furrowing. “I never even said that. Stop putting words in my mouth!”

“Then Jesus, Bucky. Say what you mean! I tell you I love you and you tell me you don’t know. What am I supposed to think here?”

“Wait…” he said, putting up his hand. “Do you love me or are you in love with me?”

“Does it really fucking matter?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, how many times have we told each other ‘I love you’ before getting off the phone, or before we go to bed at night? I tell my mom I love her everyday, but that doesn’t mean I’m in love with her…”

You opened and closed your mouth, unsure of how to respond. He had a point, and it pissed you off.

“If I told you I was in love with you, would that even change anything?” you asked, feeling the tears start to well up again. You dug your nails into the palm of your hand to stop them.

Bucky stepped forward and took your hand, and you let him. He squeezed it and looked you in the eyes. The Barnes spell washed over you like a flood, reeling you in; his sapphire orbs looking straight into your eyes, into your soul.

“I’m gonna be completely honest with you, alright? Just like you asked.”

You nodded, using your other hand to brush the hair out of your face. Your heart was beating so loudly in your chest, you could hear it’s pulse patterns in your ears. Bucky took a deep breath, exhaling it out loudly.

“You are completely out of my league. You’re smart, gorgeous - literally everything a man could ever want. But I’ve never had a serious relationship before, Y/N. My mom sets me up with all these random women, because she thinks I’m getting too old, that I need to settle down now or it’s never going to happen for me. I brought you here because you’re the perfect package. You’re everything my mom wants for me. Except I don’t know how to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I can’t give you everything you want. I can’t be who you want me to be, because I don’t know how. I’m a big, dumb idiot, who can’t do anything right.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. After all this time, you thought he was doing this because he was selfish, or dumb; that he didn’t take your feelings into consideration. And all along, it was the complete opposite.

“Bucky, I have never thought any of those things about you ever. I don’t just fall in love with anyone. You’ve been there for me more than anyone else in my life ever has. I fell in love with the person in here,” you managed to reply, putting your small hand over his heart. “What’s in here is big, and pure and has so much love to give. I just wish you could see what I see.”

“I never thought about how I felt about you, because I never thought I even had a chance with you. I do love you, but I don’t think I can love you the way you want me to love you.”

Your heart shattered in your chest, the splintering pieces puncturing your lungs, unable to breathe.

“O-okay,” you stammered, the tears flowing freely again, your body floating in broken heart purgatory.

“Hey, listen to me,” he said, taking your chin and making you look at him. “I have so many feelings for you it’s insane, okay? I just have no idea what exactly those feelings are, and what they mean. I don’t want to tell you something, get your hopes up higher, and I fuck it all up.”

You sniffled, just wanting to curl up and die. But because you loved Bucky so much, you had to tough it out here for the next couple of days.

“Can you please just give me a chance to sort all of this out? Give me a chance to see us in the light that you see us in.”

His hands were on your shoulders, squeezing, squeezing; as if he was begging you to just give him more time.

“Please,” he begged. “I can’t lose you, doll.”

You searched his eyes, and you could tell he was telling the truth. He wasn’t stalling you just to get through the rest of the week, and he wasn’t doing this just to placate you. He was serious.

Fine,” you blurted out, your lip trembling. “Just promise me you won’t lie to me to make me feel better?”

His hands moved up to your face and cupped it, and his eyes looked straight into yours again. No matter what, you were always puddy in his hands. You were just sick of being the puppet and he, the puppet master.

Slowly, Bucky dipped his head down and placed his lips to yours again, sending fire throughout your veins. You should’ve pushed him away, should’ve stopped him, told him to fuck off, but your body relaxed into the kiss, treasuring the taste and feel of his lips.

“Regardless of how this works out,” he said, brushing the hair away from your face. “I do care about you more than I care about myself, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me the past couple days and, well, forever.”

“I know you do, Buck,” you replied, forcing a smile. “I’m starving. Let’s go eat that pizza.”

As he took your hand and led you back downstairs to the pizza, your stomach growling, you were pondering in your head if you were really doing the right thing. Your brain was screaming at you to pack your shit and take a bus straight home, never to speak to him again. He would hurt you, he would leave you, he doesn’t love you. And yet your heart triumphed over the voice of your brain, whispering that there was always that small chance that he’d fallen in love with you too.

Walking down the stairs, you felt in your heart for the first time in years that maybe something would come of this. Until a gorgeous, red-haired siren appeared in front of you, shattering your hopes and dreams.

“Natasha?” Bucky stammered, his hand quickly leaving yours; the emptiness engulfing you. “What are you doing here?”

She looked from you to Bucky, a smirk playing on her lips.

“What do you mean what am I doing here, silly? You invited me.”

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Part 7