I’d like to thank @travelwithwords for checking this over and also helping me out a lot! Once again, I’d just like to point out I wouldn’t be posting if it wasn’t for her! I appreciate all your help, Bromeo.
Half the people hating on brucenat aren’t just pissed for their ship. Half the people hating on brucenat aren’t just clintasha or romanogers shippers. They are Natasha Romanoff fans. Trust me; If Natasha was like this with Steve in cap2, we would have expressed hate too. If she was like this with Clint in avengers, we would have expressed hate too. We are pissed because Natasha’s character was drastically altered just so that this ship could work. Natasha Romanoff’sstory arc in AOU rotated around Bruce with the most out of character she have ever been and that’s a huge slap in the face for us. They just don’t work. They never did, given that they have little to none interactions much less a romantic involvement in any comic universe,which more or less says something.
Please watch the movie and see for yourself. You’ll know what I mean.
Do you have Black Widow binders? Or is that more of a custom kinda order?
Because we’re entirely made-to-order, all of the cosplay binders we have listed are binders that customers have ordered in the past. We could potentially do a Black Widow binder, just shoot us an email with reference pics and what you had in mind and we’ll give you a quote!
Hey I love your page and personal as a black female I fucking love it. I was wondering if you could write a fic about the reader being bisexual and really having a crush on a male avenger. The avenger actually likes her back and some how confesses his love but she is sacred he won’t like her bc she’s bi he ends up kinda liking it and excepts it. And they get together. I was I oping you could write it for Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers or Peter Parker. OMG I’m sorry that was really long
You did clerical work, mostly. I mean you knew how to protect the information you carried but you didn’t consider yourself anything special combat wise. You were no Black Widow, just a pencil pusher who could incapacitate an attacker with a banana in less than a minute. So low key awesome. A month ago you were assigned at the Avengers tower, and you were a little excited. Not only for the Avengers but a change of scenery in general.
“You must be the new girl Fury sent,” a voice called outside your office. You were in the middle of setting up your things and had largely been trapped in your own world. When you noticed who it was your eyebrows shot up. Tony Stark, of all people decided to pop his head into your office. Sure it was good office with a great view, but you were positive his was better.
“Yes, I am. I’m Agent L/N. Nice to meet you Mr. Stark.”
He waved you off and leaned against the doorframe nonchalantly, “Call me Tony. So, I hear you know all the dirty secrets.”
“Well I can’t actually know all the secrets… so perhaps you heard wrong.”
“But interesting things I’m sure. Maybe we could talk-”
“Stark, leave her alone,” a voice called, “she’ll sooner kill you than tell you anything, it’s what she’s trained for,” the voice belonged to a redhead you had only heard about, never talked to. It was Natasha Romanov, the Black Widow. She stepped into my office and placed a few folders on my desk. I immediately took them and put them away.
“I’m glad they finally transferred you here, you’re too good for cubicle work.”
“How is anyone good at clerical work?” Tony demanded.
“Y/N isn’t just a secretary, Stark. She’s the only person keeping the legacy of the Avengers intact. She protected information that could have gotten all of us killed more than once. She is the vault.”
“Not quite as cool as Iron Man or Black Widow, but appropriate,” you shrugged.
“Don’t expect to woo her out of her information, she’s had better people try.” Natasha gave you a small rueful smile and a nod before leaving. Tony left you so you could continue to assemble your office.
The next day at work, you entered data into your computer. It was the easiest way to encrypt files and keep them safe from even the potential hacker. You were deep in your work, so much so that you barely heard the knock on your office door. You paused your typing and waited for a second noise to verify your suspicion that you had heard a knock. The knock came again and you put away the papers on your desk before permitting the person in.
“Come in,” You called, as you set your paper weight on top of the folders waiting for your attention. When you looked up you lost your breath for a moment. You were aware what each of the Avengers looked like, they weren’t exactly into secret identities… well most of them. But the man in front of you was more beautiful than in the pictures. Captain America, the first Avenger, was usually a clean shaven man, that looked like he was still very much in the 40s. Looking at him in your office now made you mind hit delete on every intelligent thing you could say in that moment and replace it with the phrase “HOLY SHIT”.
“Nat told me to drop of my mission reports with you,” he spoke. You had control over yourself enough to nod. This Captain America hadn’t shaved in months, and as you looked down at his mission assignment you realized why. There couldn’t be much of an opportunity to shave while you’re in the Amazon jungle. He smiled a little at you, obviously waiting for a response.
“Uh, right yes. I’m you’re girl,” you assured, “Any information about missions can be delivered through writing, email, or orally if you prefer…. you can tell me the info not gi- You got the point,” you internally cursed yourself. He probably knew what you meant by orally the first time. It didn’t sound dirty until you tried to explain.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Do you know what happened to the guy before you,” he asked curiously.
“I am not at liberty to say what happened to him,” you smiled kindly. You could deny information without even thinking about it.
“Look at Captain Lumberjack over here,” Natasha called as she came into your office with papers of her own to set on your desk. Steve rubbed a hand over his beard and sighed.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh about it while you can, it’s leaving soon.”
“I think it looks nice,” you blurted out. Both people looked to you curiously, “You look like a lumberjack… but one I would gladly watch chop wood.”
Natasha smiled at you with avid amusement, “When’s your lunch, ma’am?” you looked at your watch and answered.
“I am taking Steve to the place downtown, wanna join?”
“Sure thing.” you nodded, and then immediately regretted it. What were you thinking? You barely knew them, sure Natasha had been aware of you for sometime, and of course you were aware of her but Captain America? All you knew was the stuff written in files. Of course, you couldn’t say no. Without thinking you were gathering your things and securing your office. You thanked what ever gods were above that you decided to look cute today. Your job required you to dress business casual, but nothing stopped you from sliding on your slacks that were two sizes too big. However this morning, for some reason you felt inclined to showcase your body in a more flattering light.
Lunch was magical. The food was good, and the conversation was better. Steve was telling stories about the 40’s. You couldn’t help but envy how nice he made it sound. You were no fool, you knew it wouldn’t have been quite as nice for you, but things seemed so optimistic. He recounted his failed attempts to join the military, divulging the different lies he put on the various application. He spoke like you were all old friends, pulling laughs out of you, and small smiles from Natasha.
“Ah, but I won’t bore you with more stories, what about you Y/N?”
“I liked your stories,” you replied, almost sad that he had decided to stop. However at his request you delved into your own story of folly. As you left the restaurant and headed back to your office, you felt sad that it was ending now. You could trust to see him again, but what if it was never in this context again? What if he never looked at you like you were the funniest person in the room again? Well, then it wouldn’t be the first time that happened, you told yourself as you stepped into your office. He gave you a gracious goodbye and a promise to see you around and that was it.
The next day you walked to your office to see a vase with a bouquet of forget-me-nots and lilies. There was a card in the middle of them. You knew the handwriting well, you studied it on every mission report. It was Steve, and if you had any doubt about that, he had clearly signed it at the bottom. You continued into your office, and sat down so you could focus on the letter. It read “Lunch? Just you and me? Same time, same place.”
You were watching the clock, biding your time until lunch. Maybe he just wanted another chance to talk. Just as friends. Who sends friends flowers? He had to be interested, and it’s not that you were completely unaccustomed to men being interest you just weren’t sure if they’d stay interested. Either way, when you went to lunch you went to the restaurant from yesterday and easily spotted Steve at a table. He smiled when he saw you. Part of you wondered if he considered you might stand him up. You sat across from him, and took in how intimate this all was without Natasha as a buffer.
“I was hoping you’d come,”he greeted, “I was also hoping you at least liked the flowers.”
“I loved the flowers, and of course I came. Who would stand you up?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never been any good with beautiful women,” his smile became something more embarrassed than before. He sincerely thought that as a beautiful woman you would stand him up. That thought hadn’t even crossed your mind.
“Well to be honest, I’m no good around handsome men, but I uh like you… even though you shaved your beard,” you teased, looking at his freshly shaven face. He was still more beautiful than he had any right to be.
“It had to go, not really my style,” he laughed. You were a bit frustrated that he had ignored your flirtation, or otherwise didn’t notice it. After years of playing this game with men you found it was just easier to be blunt, that way no one was confused or got the wrong idea.
“So… is this like a date?” you asked.
“I wanted it to be, but if that-”
“Nope, I’m glad it’s a date. Really glad,” you assured, though even you could tell your statement wasn’t over. You didn’t want to ruin things so early, but sometimes it was for the best, it hurt less in the long run.
“But?” he prompted. You looked down at your hands on the table.
“But… I’m bisexual, and sometimes that’s a deal breaker for guys.”
“So you like men and women?” he asked in a truly curious tone.
“Yeah, and I’ve been with both… and it’s sometimes a problem for both. If it is for you I get it, I won’t hate you.”
“I don’t see why that would be a problem,” he admitted.
You couldn’t help but to smile, “I’ve never gotten it either, but it’s better to just come out with some things to begin with just in case.”
“I still classify this as a date, and I want to hear more about the story you were telling me yesterday.
“Well, then I guess I’ll pick up where I left up,” you were still smiling, elated that he was accepting of you without even a second thought.
Summary: Reader challenges Bucky to see who can get the most phone numbers at the club.
I plopped down on the large couch with a loud sigh and crossed my arms in front of me.
“What is it this time,” Tony asked from the other sofa. The entire team was lounging around the living area of the Avenger’s tower while Nat channel surfed for something good on the television.
“Nothing,” I sigh.
Nat mutes the television and turns to me. “Obviously its not nothing for you to be so mad about it.”
“I’m not mad,” I tell her. “Just irritated.”
“About what,” Clint asks.
“Tomorrow is Valentines Day, and I have no plans,” I tell them. It wasn’t that I was a big fan of the commercialized holiday; I just liked having an excuse to go out.
“That’s why you’re upset,” Steve, asked. “I don’t have plans either and you don’t see me moping around the tower about it.”
“Yeah, but you’re you,” I sigh.
“What is that supposed to mean,” he frowns.
“Never mind,” I mutter.
“Lucky for me I don’t have that problem,” Tony smirked. A week ago he had told us of his surprise weekend getaway he had planed for him and Pepper.
“I don’t celebrate,” Bruce said joining the conversation.
“Nat,” I tuned to her for advice.
She shrugged in response.
“Any plans for you Bucky,” I ask the newest member of the team.
“Nope,” he says popping his ‘p’ with a smile. “I’m just as pathetic as the rest of you.”
“Really,” I smirk. “Because from the stories Steve has told us of you before the war, I believe you were what is called a ‘ladies man’ back in the day,” I tell him.
“I fell a challenge coming,” he smiles.
“The club down town has an all singles theme for tomorrow,” I tell him. “Who ever gets the most phone numbers by the end of the night wins.”
“What is at stake here,” he asked intrigued by the challenge.
“The loser gets to make the winner breakfast in bed for a week,” I say.
He considers it for a moment before smiling and stretching his hand to me. “Deal.”
“I guess I know what I’m doing tomorrow,” Nat smiles. “Would you two boys care to join me in watching the show tomorrow,” she asked Steve and Clint.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Clint smirks. Without even asking I knew they planed on a bet of there own to see who would win between the bionic soldier and I.
“Well I have nothing better to do,” Steve sighs.
The next day I stood in front of the large mirror in my room. I was in this to win and I was not going to hold back on anything. My outfit showed exactly that. The tight red material hugged me like a second skin accentuating my best assets. Had it not been for my training as an Avenger the high black pumps would have been torture to walk in.
With one final check of my makeup I finally left my room to walk to the living room where everyone was waiting.
“I think you should go ahead and pay up now,” Nat turned to Clint when she saw me. “There wont’ be a single person in that club that will not what to give her their number.”
“Let’s wait until the night is over,” Clint said. “The former ladies man might still have some moves up his sleeve.”
“Speaking of the ladies man, where is he,” I asked noticing he wasn’t in the living room. “I hope he hasn’t backed out.”
“Don’t count on it doll,” Bucky’s deep voice came from behind me. “I never go down without a fight.”
“Glad to hear it,” I smile turning around to face him.
My breath caught in my throat when my eyes landed on him and I fought my inner self from undressing the man standing in front of me.
I had always found Bucky to be an attractive man, there was never any doubt in that, but I was always too sober to do anything about it, and I had never seen him so polished and cleaned up before. He wore black dress pants and a dark blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His long hair was still messy, but it only added something to his look that made me want to run up to him and run my fingers through it.
Fingers were snapped between us and I look over to a smirking Black Widow. “I said are you ready to go,” she asked clearly knowing what I had just been thinking.
“Yeah,” I quickly said. “I think you should know that I like chocolate chip pancakes,” I turn to Bucky.
I see his eyes snap up from looking at me the same way I had previously been looking at him.
“And I like waffles,” he tells me.
“This is going to be so much fun,” Nat laughs.
The party was in full swing when we arrived. People were dancing and drinking all around.
“(Y/N) why don’t you go get us some drinks,” Nat said tilling her head I the direction of the bar. I turned to see a man looking me up and down and smirked when he saw me watching him.
This would just be too easy.
Without a single glance back I walked strait to the bar and leaned on it next to the man.
“See something you like,” I smirk.
“I see a lot of things I like,” he says checking me out again. “What are you drinking,” he asks.
I sat at a booth across from Nat counting the napkins with numbers on them.
“Why are you making two piles,” Nat asks.
“These are the ones I will be tossing out later,” I say pointing to the larger pile. “These are possible contenders to go home with me tonight,” I point to the smaller stack. “It is Valentines Day after all, I don’t need a Mr. Right, just a Mr. Right Now.”
“How many do you have in total,” she asks.
“Still not enough,” I sigh. Clint had stopped by earlier and told us how many numbers Bucky had to taunt us. I didn’t think it was fair how he had two wingmen and I only had Nat to help out.
“You got one on your two,” Nat told me.
“Thanks,” I smile and push up to stand. “I’ll be back in a few.”
I turn to where Nat had told me and straightened out my dress before walking to the leggy blonde.
“What do you mean we are tied,” I exclaim.
“There is no way we are tied,” Bucky says. “I know I had more than you did.”
“Count them yourself if you want,” Nat said. “I already double counted, and you both have the same amount of numbers.”
“We need a tie breaker,” Clint said. “And I know just the way to do it.”
“How is this a good idea,” I ask as the shots were placed in front of me. “Bucky has the serum, the alcohol will do nothing to him.”
“Thor left some of his ‘special’ alcohol the last time he was here,” Steve said pulling out a flask from his pocket. “You get the tequila, and Bucky gets the Asgargian strength stuff.”
The tiebreaker would be to get as drunk as possible and still manage to get a number from someone. It was simple enough, except for the fact that I would have no clear judgment while drunk and might end up with some creep’s number. With Bucky his challenge would be that who ever he asked would think he was the creep.
“Alright lets do this,” I shout with excitement. I tip back all five shots in front of me and hold onto the table as my head begins to rush.
Bucky had just put down the last of his empty shot glass when I looked up.
“You have five minutes starting now,” Nat shouted starting the timer.
I staggered my way to the dance floor and pulled the first handsome man, or what my drunken mind found to be handsome, to me and started dancing.
“I see you decided to come back for another dance,” the man whispered in my ear pulling me close to him.
It takes a second for his words to sink in and I pull back to fully look at him.
“Never mind,” I mumble. “I already have your number.”
I push myself away from him and look for another target.
I was running out of time and the alcohol in me was not helping.
From the corner of my eye I saw what even my sober self would consider a great ass.
“Hey handsome,” I purr into the man’s ear from behind. “Why so lonely?”
A deep rumble of laughter comes from him and he turns around to face me. “Did you already run out of prey that you had to come to me,” Bucky laughs.
“No,” I say defensibly. “It’s just the tequila. I couldn’t tell it was you from behind.” A very nice behind, I mentally added.
“Why are we doing this again,” he asks running a hand through his soft looking hair.
“I can’t remember,” I giggle. “I think it has something to do with you proving you’re still capable of getting a woman’s number, and I’m just in it for the food.”
“Are you really just in it for the food,” he laughs tilling his head.
“Of course,” I laugh. “Plus it doesn’t hurt to get a little something from someone after.”
“Any one in particular,” he asks.
“I can’t remember,” I giggle. “I think there was one about half way through the night that I would have liked, but I can’t remember his name to look through the numbers.”
“There is no way I will be able to convince any woman to give me there number while I’m like this,” he laughs.
“And I’m too drunk to know who’s number I already have,” I laugh too.
“You really want those pancakes don’t you,” Bucky asks.
“Yeah,” I sigh. “But considering we only have about thirty seconds left I doubt I’ll get any ones number.”
He smiles at me, and reaches in his back pocket to pull out a pen. He takes my hand in his pulling me close and uncaps the pen with his teeth.
I watch him press the pen down on my forearm and leave a trail of ink on my skin. “There,” he says letting go of my arm. “Now you have won.”
I pull my arm up to look at the phone number on my skin, Bucky’s phone number.
Before he can put up the pen I snatch it from him and grab his flesh arm. I quickly write my number on his skin the same way he had done to me.
“Oops, “I say releasing his arm. “We’re still tied.”
“What a shame,” he sighs. “You could have woken up to chocolate chip pancakes.”
“I can think of a few more things I wouldn’t mind waking up to,” I look up at him through my lashes.
“That makes two of us,” he mutters before placing one hand on my back and pressing my body to his. “Who knew tying could have such good rewards?”
“Just shut up and kiss me before the tequila wears off,” I growl and pull on the front of his shirt crashing my lips to his.
Hi :) I have a question,.i've just seen ur post where u say people r asking u to leave joss whedon alone. I'm sorry, im just curious becaue idk much about the subject but I thought joss whedon was like, a nice guy, a feminist and all that. Recently tho, ive seen lots of posts that are insulting him, but idk why exactly. Mostly i just want to know ur opinion on the matter because im a bit confused, thanks :)
…stop with the :), it’s hard to take you seriously.
A lot of people say they’re feminists, use all the right terminology and then just fucking fall on their faces because they don’t actually follow the ideology.
[Like, as you will notice if you go into human services, you will find many abusers learn the right words to say to get out of situations or gaslight their victims. The trick is knowing when they’re actually full of shit. Like how fuckboys are now asking for nudes, but putting it under the flag of feminism by claiming not sending them nudes is ‘like, misogyny’ and they should be proud to send them feminist nudes.
Knowing the lingo does not constitute being something.]
Joss Whedon is pulling a Moffat, he is God of Marvel in his own mind.
Here are the original posts about it.
Although, if you have not yet watched Avengers: Age of Ultron, then you should know they are 100% not spoiler free, and more like spoiler-full.
In short, he’s being quite sexist, misogynistic, and blatantly problematic…
But he’s got fans runnin in to defend him left and right in a way that eeriy feels like when Chris Brown beat Rhianna, or when Justin Bieber did all that shit he did…
Rather than accept that these are issues, and call him out on them (it is only through criticism that you can change), they apologise and say ‘but he wrote buffy? and firefly? what is wrong with you?’
Well great he did a vaguely-alright thing in the past (and you should hear some hella racist comments he made about the females of Firefly, btw, especially Summer Glau). Let’s excuse everything he ever does from now on…
The movies are fanfiction. His fanfiction.
And you know the most important thing about fanfiction?
Reviews, Critics, comments… the ones that say, “I see what you were going for, and I liked this bit (x, y, z) But you sincerely fucked up (k, p, l), and here’s how you can fix it…”
If someone’s writing shitty fiction (eg My Immortal) and you heap undeserved praise on it, then they continue writing shit like My Immortal. There is never any improvement whatsoever.
You can’t improve if you continue thinking nothing is wrong, and you are god.
[It’s why I can’t watch Doctor Who anymore, because Moffat just… the writing of Clara and the interactions with her is downright terrible. I’d need a whole other post to talk about it… because his writing of women is either ‘weepy lovesick doctor lovers who can’t do shit for themselves’ or ‘badass chick who falls over herself to get the doctor’s attention’, and ugh. We need Donna or Martha back… because they took no shit.]
Joss is there.
He fucking wrote Agents of SHIELD but wants to pretend Coulson still being alive isn’t canon. He wants to pretend 90% of the MCU isn’t canon so only his work is… his fanfiction…
He still writes Tony as Pre-Iron Man 3, when he was still an arrogant dick (and not the epiphany-having Tony who realised he fucked up).
He took Black Widow ‘his favourite’, and just… pissed on her.
Literally write in an incorrect non-canon ship with no foreshadowing, no lead-up, no anything… JUST to (SPOILER) make angsty silly-girl-in-love pain for Natasha. And the Goddamn MONSTER comment, oh m god, I could throttle him…
As someone on tumblr once said, Use the KISS Rule when writing relationships. If they have to kiss for you to realise they are in love… then you wrote it wrong.
He took Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver and made it a creepy twindependence thing that left you questioning if this was more than siblings, given her complete inability to think or exist without him.
He completely whitewashed Wanda and Pietro, gave them weird accents… took two canonically Jewish kids and made them NAZI-SYMPATHISERS. Despite their father, Magneto, being a holocaust survivor, a child tortured in the concentration camps…
He took Hawkeye, and just went ‘fuck canon, have a family, no homo’. And didn’t even bother to give them the Dog. [Probably in response to the Hawkeye Initiative…]
We’ll never get Bi-Cap at this rate. Unless the Russo Brothers are ore LGBPTAce inclined…
He wrote Cap weirdly, and washed any chance of Falcon being in the movie, out (he’s an avenger ffs, why not?)
He couldn’t even have been bothered to get Pepper Potts or Jane Foster into the movie (two highly successful female characters), even for a cameo… and made them both into a pseudo ‘mine’s bigger/better than yours’ comp/joke.
Joss is to the Avengers, as [whoever directed that disastrous The Dark Knight Triology] is to Batman.
Ignored canon. Didn’t even bother to research the characters, their storylines, how everything usually plays out. That’s lazy.
That’s like someone coming in and writing a Harry Potter spinoff where-… no, I’m thinking of My Immortal again. Imagine if the writer of that wanted to pretend the original books were not canon, but their fanfic was… ‘Nothing is canon but my work, look at it, love it, you have no other choice’.
avengers/mcu questions i would rather seen asked...
The incredibly frustrating thing I’ve seen about interviews these days is that these media people just don’t do their fucking homework. Did you guys just…. I don’t know, sleep or skip that class in college?
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I dread interviews as a writer. But as my own boss taught me, the first rule of interviews is that you don’t ask questions that you can easily look up and verify and you ask questions when you want something clarified, explained, possibly revealed and elaborated.
So rather than inane shipping questions and shit like “how did you fit into your catsuit?” I would rather have seen the following:
a. Chris Evans - I read an article that you actually like to draw and that you entertained ambitions of getting into Pixar/Disney one day, before turning to acting instead. So we’re curious, are you the person who did the Captain Monkey drawings we saw in the first Cap movie? Were you the one who actually did the other drawings whenever we see Steve Rogers drawing?
b. Scarlett Johansson - We really loved the fact that Widow and Cap were portrayed as good friends, rather as love interests in The Winter Soldier. Is it possible for you to give us any headcanons/backstory that you and Chris must’ve come up with to portray that on screen? Can you share that with us (if we’re not spoiling anything) ?
The fans are really exited over the possibility of a Black Widow movie. If you could get that opportunity, would you want this as a prequel or more of a “further adventures” of the character following the Avengers/other MCU films?
c. Jeremy Renner - We totally understand that you can’t really say what happened in Budapest with the Black Widow. But do you have a personal backstory that you can tell us instead?
Hey what was your opinion on the new avengers movie?
My friend you’ve just opened the flood gates, so strap in :P
Now, before I get started, let me give a disclaimer about why I NEVER REVIEW MOVIES ON TUMBLR! Someone always sees other people’s reviews and flips out angrily about how ‘they’re dumb’ or ‘they’re not a real fan’ just because the reviewer has complaints that they disagree with. So everyone reading this; IT’S JUST MY OPINION! Please don’t send angry messages to me about how I’m wrong. If you thought the movie was the best thing ever, COOL! I’m happy you liked it! There was a lot of good in it! I’m a huge fan of the franchise and am just sharing my grievances with their latest instalment. This movie didn’t change my opinion about how great the studio is and I’m still eagerly awaiting Ant Man, Civil War, Dr. Strange and everything else to come!
With that out of the way: HERE WE GO!
This review has SPOILERS so for a brief summary of my opinion, I’d say: It’s a great film for general audiences. It’ll leave you laughing and touch your heart a bit if you can ignore the confusing details. It’s also got action scenes that outdo those of Man of Steel (which is a high accolade for me to give as those VFX are amazing!) For general audience appeal I’d give it an 8/10. For hardcore Marvel Cinematic Universe Fans I give it a 6/10.
There have only been two MCU movies that I didn’t like when I saw them in theatres, Iron Man 3 (which I’ve actually grown to like) and Age of Ultron. Don’t get me wrong, the action, comedy and character moments were all great! I loved what they did with Hawkeye and thought Natasha and Banner’s relationship was pretty well done (despite being skeptical at first). I also really liked Vision, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver (Wish they’d each had more screen time though). The set up for a New Avengers line-up at the end was also great! And good on them for getting a more diverse line-up without forcing it.
My main problem was that the movie was SOOOO CONFUSING! I’m hoping this is because of the hour and seven minutes they cut out from Joss Whedon’s original three and a half hour version because that would mean when the extended version comes out I’ll have all my questions answered. But for now, I’m just perplexed. And it’s not like I’m a casual viewer who doesn’t know the previous movies or the comics. I’m an avid comic reader and I’ve seen every MCU movie at least 8 times, some as many as 30 times. Even with all the knowledge I have on the MCU and Marvel I didn’t understand a lot of things that I wanted to understand such as:
1. Who made Ultron? Did Tony really make him? They said they found an AI inside the sceptre, so did Tony build Ultron out of that or did he just tweak what was already there. If so, then who made Ultron and why?!
2. Why did Scarlet Witch let Tony take the staff? She saw it would maybe kill the Avengers, sure, but she also saw that it would unleash an army of aliens on the world and she obviously didn’t want the earth destroyed because she stopped helping Ultron when she saw that he was going to do that.
3. Where did Ultron get his first body? I mean, he could have built it in that Hydra base, but did he do that or was it already built? And if it was built, why was it already built?! They could have explained this with one shot, but instead it just felt like a scene had been skipped when he randomly showed up under a tarp in a church with a shiny, new, 10 foot body.
4. What was Ultron’s plan? He tells Scarlet Witch that he wasn’t going to kill everyone, he was going to give them a chance to evolve, but then in the end, his weird city/asteroid/doomsday thing IS going to kill everyone. Did he change his mind? Did he just go ‘screw it, the Avengers are pissing me off, I’m gonna kill everyone!’
5. Why does Thanos say ‘Fine I’ll do it myself’ at the end? Is that supposed to imply that he sent Ultron? Was that his back up plan in case Loki failed? Did he put the AI inside the infinity stone as a back up plan to destroy the Avengers or get the infinity stones?
6. Why did Thanos give Loki the Sceptre in the first place? I mean, sure he wanted Loki to get him the Tesseract in the first film, but it is very out of character for Thanos to let a stone out of his hands, even if it was to help get another one. His goal is to get them all! If he had one, he wouldn’t let it go!
7. What was Vision? He was built by Ultron, but given Jarvis’s brain and yet he says he’s not Jarvis or Ultron. Is he the AI from inside the infinity stone? Is he himself the infinity stone?
Then there are the things that I just thought were dumb and/or unnecessary, like:
8. Why did punching Hulk end the Hulkbuster fight?! I mean, I get that it was a joke/callback to Avengers 1 when Hulk side-punches Thor, but really?! That could have been a great, emotional moment, Hulk was just starting to see how much damage and fear he’d caused. He could have just changed back then and there and started to tear up or something, but instead, Hulkbuster punches him, which would have made him angry again and continued the fight!
9. Why did Quicksilver die? Seriously? I really liked him and he’s a big Marvel character who didn’t get nearly enough screen time to warrant a death. It’s like they said ‘we’ve brought too many people back to life, we need a real death, but we can’t use any actor’s who are still on contract…hmmm…’ If they’d given him more screen time it could have been really emotional. Thing is, they set up Hawkeye’s death PERFECTLY! I love Hawkeye, and they did a great job with him. He was arguably the main character. Having him die protecting a little kid after we’ve gotten to see how much he loves his kids would have been a deeply emotional death that I would have cared about. Quicksilver’s death just made me mad! He’s only been in one movie (plus the post credits of Winter Soldier) and now we won’t get to see him again! And it wasn’t a good death! He had super speed, he didn’t need to push Hawkeye out of the way, he could have tackled him out of the way.
10. Why was Ultron’s doomsday plan so convoluted? I didn’t even understand what the threat was the first time I saw the film. I thought maybe the city was a vibranium bomb, but didn’t get why it was flying into the air. I get that it was an asteroid, because he had one random line about how he liked the idea of asteroids, but this could have been built up better so it was more obvious. Make him talk about asteroids from a bit earlier on so we can piece it together more easily. Or, with all the vibranium he got, have him build an army of robots out of vibranium! Have an army that is actually diffilcut to beat instead of having an army no more useful than the droids in the Star Wars prequels.
11. Why did Ultron kidnap Black Widow? And why did he then put her in a room with technology that she could use to call the Avengers? He knows she’s smart enough to build a way to call them with the tech he locked her away with. Did he want her to call them? if so, why? Just because he’s arrogant? If so this should have been more clear!
12. Why didn’t Hulk fight Ultron? Cap, Thor and Iron Man all fought him, so why not Hulk?! The movie didn’t need more fight scenes, but this should have been after Ultron got his final, Vibranium form. It would have built tension to see that even the unstoppable Hulk couldn’t break through an armour built by Vibranium. It would have made me more worried that they’d have a hard time beating him. I was never actually worried for the Avengers. i liked how funny Ultron was, but he was just funny. I didn’t think he was threatening at all. they fought his puny, fragile minions way more than they fought him.
13. Why did hologram Ultron shoot hologram Jarvis. This is a pet complaint, I know, I get that this was for the audience to have a visual of what was happening, but I just though this was silly (in a bad way). They’re holograms, the only reason we would have a visual of this is if Ultron did it just to put on a show for himself (alright, I guess I wouldn’t put that past him).
14. Why did we never get closure of Wanda and Pietro’s hatred for Tony? They blamed him for their parents death and then by the end of the movie we’ve just forgotten about that. I guess it’s loosely implied that they see that he’s a good guy for trying to save the world, but why did we never get a moment where he apologizes for his past life or where they forgive him?
15. I know the man himself, Kevin Feige, has addressed this, but WHY DOES THANOS HAVE THE INFINITY GAUNTLET! It is in the treasure room in Asgard. Saying that there are two is a cop out. I would have rather they said ‘We needed it elsewhere so we’re saying that the one in the treasure room is a fake.’
If you’ve gotten this far, I appreciate you taking the time to read my ranting review of the movie. In the end, despite all I’ve said, I did enjoy the film. It just didn’t answer enough of the questions I felt necessary for it to get it’s complicated story across.
ADDITION: For anyone who wants answers to the questions I’ve raised, eugotur has taken the time to address every one in the comments of this review. I agree with some and disagree with others, but regardless of my opinion, they are all pretty good answers!
Ok but like Joss Whedon saying that there would be no after-credits scene in AoU because ‘nothing could top the shwarma scene’ made me so mad, so just for you, Joss, I have compiled a list of examples that could have been used for an after-credit scene.
• A preview of Guardians II
• Some kind of lead up to Civil War
• More baby Groot dancing
• Kate Bishop and Clint Barton
• Any of the Avengers dancing to Beyoncé
• A preview to a Black Widow movie
• A preview to a Hawkeye movie
• What the fuck happened in Budapest
• A preview to a Black Widow/ Hawkeye movie, co-starring Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson
• Melinda May, Pepper, Natasha, and Maria interacting
• Peggy motherfuckin Carter because why not
• Natasha’s process for dyeing/cutting her hair so often and still always looking flawless
• Domestic Avengers dealing with each other
• Avengers finding out that Coulson is alive
• Avengers meeting Skye
• Avengers protecting Skye and friends
• A showing of Captain America The Winter Soldier because it’s doubtful that any of your movies will ever top that
• That is all
• Also make a Black Widow movie
• Get the fuck on that would you
• No wait actually
• A Black Widow movie by you would kinda suck probably
• Get the Russo Bros to make a Black Widow movie
• Do it
•Also fuck you bc the whitewashing was completely unnecessary k bye
I do have a Klaus/reader on my to-do list, and I haven’t forgotten about that, I’ve just been taking time to think about it so I do it right. For now, here’s another Pietro/reader story <3
Prompt: Pietro/reader where they’re (girl is human/but powers if you’d like!) on a date night and they get called into work for a really easy mission and end up flirting and stealing kisses during the whole thing :)
There is a legend all the parents would tell their children of a spider and a hawk working together.It isn’t a ordinary spider and hawk. No, my dears, those are their nicknames: Black Widow and Hawkeye; The red-haired outlaw vixen and the only cowboy to use archery.
As soon as their full titles are announced, the children are always interested. Wide-eyed and hungry for more, the story continues into their origin. She was an orphan, raised by a tribe as wild as she was. He was abandoned by his parents and his brother, who grew up in a circus filled with thieves and freaks. That part of the story is always the same. What changes from person to person is how the two met. It always changes, depending what someone wants to teach their kids.
To warn children the dangers of the world, the Black Widow is a thief captured by Sheriff Hawkeye. She seduces him with her body and her money (the female is always seductive, that’s why you boys and girls need to be careful). He leaves a life of law, after struggling to get there, to a life of crime.
To warn sons the dangers of a whorehouse and just what to expect, the Black Widow is a woman of the night that seduced a carney (notice how she seduces so easily?) to do her dirty work. If such a simple man turned corrupt, then what did it mean for other men, good men, descent men, fearful men? That’s why they’re told this story, of course.
Not every story depicts the Black Widow as a whore. To warn children of living in a circus, the Black Widow is his savior. She sees his act and, impressed by his skills, convinces him to live an outlaw’s life. It’s much better than being in the circus, among the dirty animals and even dirtier crooks and freaks.
Some people (women and girls, though men and boys have done it as well) romanticize their relationship. She never follows him, head over heels in love. It’s always him. He sees her, falls in love with her, leaves the circus or the law or rather his life, all for her. Most say she returns his feelings and loves just as strongly, but a few say she’s using him. (She is the Black Widow. Why does she have that nickname if she doesn’t use men and leave them once she’s done?)
So what do they do that inspires legends and stories after them? They break the law, of course. They rob rich men, burn down banks, shoot at men in bars. Their thievery is always for a reason, but some think of it as a way to justify their chaos. They never keep all of the money from the rich men they rob; that’s donated to schools, orphanages, and poor houses. The banks they burn down are always missing papers on foreclosures and debts, freeing people from them. The men they kill are never good men; it’s always abusers and rapists.
“So really, they’re heroes,” Clint tells a bunch of kids. The children at the orphanage listen as he gives them another tale of the two. They’re all interested and they all see the two as role models. As well they should as the adults tell a different story of the two each night. They know the truth.
The matron grabs Natasha’s hand as the two talk, thankful tears welling up in her eyes. “Is it true? Is it really true?”
Natasha nods, smiling at the woman. “It is. The debt on the orphanage is gone and you and the kids should have enough money for a while.”
“Thank you, Black Widow,” the woman says quietly. “I wish the children could know. I mean, after all you and Hawkeye have done for us-”
“Maybe one day, when the law isn’t after us.” Or when they were both dead, but Natasha didn’t want the woman shedding any more tears. “In fact, we should get going. Clint, did you finish the story?”
“You’ve got good timing, Tasha.” Clint stands and the children protest.
“Awwwh! Just one more story?”
“We’ll be extra extra good!”
“Sorry, kids. You’ll get a story from Matron Simmons tonight. You can wait till then.”
Soon the two are on their horses, riding towards the sun. The children wonder if Natasha and Clint are Black Widow and Hawkeye because of her red hair and the bow and quiver on his back, but no one asks aloud. It’s kept to whispers and giggles among themselves.
As they ride, Clint chuckles to himself. Curious, Natasha asks, “What’s so funny?”
“The kids wanted to know about them meeting and the romance part.”
“Oh? What did you tell them?”
“I told them I wasn’t sure on how they met, but I know one thing.”
“Hawkeye would follow Black Widow anywhere, even into hell.” Natasha smirks, though Clint could see a hint of a smile in her lips.
“Black Widow would just drag them both out of there.” Clint grins and laughs, obviously as happy as she is.
I just wanna put my two cents in on the Natasha/Black Widow issue in Age of Ultron
First of all, you’re perfectly welcome to disagree with me. This is just my opinion. And besides the bits of Marvel canon that could have been explained better, and the weird non-mutant origin story of the Maximoff Twins (They’re X-Men guys… born mutants. But yes, I know they can’t mention them being X-Men or mutants because 20th Century Fox owns the X-Men rights.), I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.
I have to admit I am NOT a Brucetasha shipper. But a lot of people have been saying that they completely messed up Natasha’s character in this and I just don’t see it. Yeah, her getting captured and having to be rescued did bug me somewhat but she got captured risking her life to secure the containment chamber, while Steve was actually the distraction. She was doing the real work. And she was smart enough to automatically get in touch with Hawkeye as soon as she was brought to Ultron’s lair. Without her, they probably wouldn’t have found where Ultron was in time to save the day. She wasn’t completely useless and pining after Bruce the whole time. Though like I said, them together isn’t something I’m crazy about.
The other big issue people are talking about is her referring to herself as a monster because she was sterilized. While I admit that the dialogue in that scene could have been structured better, this is NOT what Natasha was saying. Bruce was telling her that there was no future being with him because he is volatile and there’s no way he could have kids or a wife/girlfriend for fear of hurting them. He referred to himself as a monster. Natasha addressed the kid issue regarding herself by saying that she couldn’t have kids either, to alleviate his fears. But then she goes on to tell him that during the Black Widow graduation ceremony, they sterilized her so that she would never have children… because that could be “the one thing that would be more important than killing.” The people who trained her didn’t want anything to ever be more important than her missions. And a child could be more important than that. She was showing hatred in this scene for what they had done to her… because what they had done to her was monstrous. She wasn’t a monster because she was sterile. She believed she was a monster because she had been made into the perfect, remorseless killing machine. The sterilization was just part of the graduation ceremony… it was the meaning behind the sterilization that she viewed as monstrous. The fact that they wanted to take everything from her except killing, so that nothing else could matter more. And the fact that she has been a killer, and she let them use her for a time… that’s why she feels like a monster. Not because she can’t have children.