it is weird

Okay so humans are weird. But how?

Let’s think about the masses. Music? Try sound waves that are blasting the delicate tissues of one of their senses, they can even hear better than most species, as if it wasn’t enough of an insult! They appear to respond to certain sounds and disregard others, so far no largely noticeable pattern has been found. Some adult, nurturing specimens call this specific occurrence ‘selective hearing’ in their young offspring.

Physical wellbeing? Hah! Try torture. Daily, many humans injure their muscles lifting considerable weight and running large distances for physical fitness in the civilian sectors, nevermind the military requirements. Some military requirements have need of the recruit to loft their own body weight - and perhaps more - over two hundred times.

Speaking of physical fitness - healing. It seems to vary between the individual, their accumulation of genetics, and their physical wellbeing. Depending on the variables, humans can survive the removal of major organs, limbs, even their soft, squishy exoskeleton (note: this is actually an organ that prevents a large majority of external bacteria and infections in muscles and generally vital tissue). Some humans will peel and eat their skin and soft nails, or just pluck their twenty extra appendages (note: hands-fingers feet-toes) if they are anxious or in an extremely testing situation. While it is not encouraged, it is not a large hazard.

Eating habits? It has been recently discovered that human beings are actually herbivores that adapted to gain nutrients from flesh. A portion of the population deny eating certain foods (such as meat, animal products, etc) for religion, personal preference, and other reasons. Apparently, there is an odd share of control over food. Instead of distributing food everywhere, equally, certain higher-ups prefer to keep food to themselves while others share it. Humans seem to argue on this, and it doesn’t seem to be fully resolved.

Behaviour? Adolescents can hold grudges well into their adulthood. All of the species seem to be capable of disliking someone or something and acting against them, despite general outlook or behaviour. Some display this behaviour more than others. There appear to be enough of the human population to have a large diversity in behaviour, melanin, intelligence, preference, and a variety of other things. (Note: Terran population was last counted to be seven billion. The planet has estimated to only hold ten to eleven billion max, so expect them to be venturing into unexplored territory in search of resources soon).

Verbal conversation? Terrans have a total of six thousand five hundred languages, and are still capable of communicating across their planet in mere fractions of their daily rotation (Note: this is…frightening. This scout shall endeavor to explore less…advanced races). Translators are something to be feared, as each language can have different sounds, number of letters, different way to spell and say a certain sound, different words in certain situations, and a dizzying amount of information used without thinking of it. Words can be abbreviated and can be stressed to give a different meaning to the recipient. Sarcasm is very hard to explain. This scout will leave the…troublesome explanation to Scout 54P1. If asked, please recite this; ‘the idea of Sarcasm (that is saar-cah-suh-mm) is foreign to most races. Please excuse it’.

Senses. Human senses (taste, touch, smell/scent, hearing, sight) are fairly advanced for a species who has domesticated most of their planet’s species. Please refer to Scout 73B2 for a deeper explanation, as I have no idea where to begin.

And military? Forget the idea. Military organizations regularly converse with others, sharing Intel and general knowledge, a professional form of gossip.

In general? Human beings/Terrans are not to be trifled with, despite their modernization. Sheer determination, stubbornness produced by hormones and protective instinct, and dulled senses will kill you, take caution.

tvline.com
David Boreanaz In, Jim Caviezel Out as Star of CBS' Navy SEAL Drama
In an 11th hour recast, Bones vet David Boreanaz has replaced Person of Interest’s Jim Caviezel as the star of CBS’ Navy SEAL drama pilot, TVLine has confirmed.
By Michael Ausiello

In an 11th hour recast, Bones vet David Boreanaz has replaced Person of Interest‘s Jim Caviezel as the star of CBS’ Navy SEAL drama pilot, TVLine has confirmed.

Written by Justified alum Ben Cavell, the potential series follows the lives of the elite Navy SEALs as they train, plan and execute the most dangerous, high-stakes missions our country can ask. Boreanaz will play Jason, the respected, committed leader of his assault team who’s been through over a dozen deployments, with scars inside and out.

Ok so I had a “humans are weird” thought:

What if we’re the only species that get freaked out by the “uncanny,” what if that’s just a mammal thing and with the idea that inanimate objects that look like us  “could” spontaneously come to life and try to kill us is something that only we even so much as think of.

A group of alien crew mates find this out the hard way by buying human Jane what they think is a nice gift; an old “china human shaped doll” with jet black hair, scarlet red lips, pale china face and paler glass eyes.

Granted it is “preloved” possibly was a child’s, it’s a little dirty and chipped, some kind of squiggle has been drawn on it’s face but human Jane so holds close her Earth “art pieces”. They believe this object resembling a innocent human young, though battered ,would make a good addition to her small collection.
 
They take it back to the ship with them and place " the thoughtful gift” on her cabinet by her bed in her quarters, this way she will see the “lovely” gift as soon as she enters her room. They all hide round the door in the room opposite to watch her gleeful surprise, human Jane likes surprises so they don’t wish to spoil it by just handing it to her.

After serval minuets Jane appears and makes her way to her room.
The aliens huddle closer in anticipation of watching her reaction of joy.
Jane walks into the room.
She freezes.
They huddle closer waiting for the signs of joy.

However serval minuets seem to go past. 
Jane doesn’t move a inch.
She doesn’t even seem to be breathing.
Wide eyed she is stands staring the doll straight in the eyes.
Some how she seems to be even stiller than even the doll it’s self.

The aliens look at each other perplexed…
Is this what these “dolls” are suppose to do?
They could of swear they have seen human infants play happily with such things in the past!
Does she not know what it is? Can she not see it is a toy human shaped ornamental model?
Wait have they accidently given her a gift to signify insult or threat? …Do humans even have those?
Maybe this doll was made to practise the odd human “ Stair at each other” contest or  “Mr Summon says” game?
….Maybe she is so over joyed they “broke” her?

One of them gets fed up of waiting and decides to move it closer to Jane so she can get a better look, it at least might make her snap out of what he hopes is a joyful trance and get her to just take the silly thing.

To all of their shock the doll has merely twitched before Jane bolts out the door, lobbing her clip board device as hard as she can towards the human toy as she goes, she vanishes down the hall, her ear piecing scream still audible even when she’s long vanished and hallways away.

The group of witnessing aliens simply stand, completely and utterly perplexed…..



I don’t know what brought this on (but I suspect @i-lavabean might’ve been involved), but as I was leaving for work today my mind constructed the following scenario:

Obi-wan, Anakin, and several clones are on a stakeout, waiting to trap a supposedly neutral politician that is suspected to be dealing with the Separatists. Ahsoka isn’t with them, she’s with Padme again. (Seriously, that girl was less Skywalker’s Padawan and more Skywalkers’ Padawan)

The Clones are missing Ahsoka, and begin to wonder what she’s doing and if she misses them too.

Rex: “Eh, just as well. She’s probably enjoying a chance to have girl talk.”

A Shiny: “What’s girl talk?”

Rex: (looks puzzled for a few moments) “…I guess it’s just talk, but with another lady?”

Another Shiny: “Oh. What d'ye suppose ladies talk about, then?”

Group: “Hair?” “Tattoos!” “Maybe dresses and whether or not you can hide sniper rifles in them?”

Anakin: (knowingly) “Justice.”

Obi-wan: (a touch wistfully) “How to deal with perennial idiots as well, I’d imagine.”

cut to Coruscant, where we see what Padme, Ahsoka, and Satine are actually doing

They’re literally just in a speeder with the windows down, singing Hooked On a Feeling at the top of their lungs.

Why are they doing this? Why was there such an elaborate build-up to this moment? I don’t know, guys. My brain spins stories like it’s on a tab I’m not looking at, half the time.

Have we told the aliens about capitalism yet? Because I think we need to.

“What do you mean you do not provide your young with sustenance at your institutions of learning?” Captain Caxalonix pressed. He had just seen the strangest story being broadcast by one of the human “news networks” as they called them. Now he was determined to get answers out of his two captives.

“Well, I mean, it hasn’t been proven that it is beneficial,” the blonde woman chirped. She seemed very pompous, much like the supporters of the fallen emperor LadDorm-Punt that Caxalonix and his men had recently disposed off on the planet of Xixatal. Not only that, there was something about her features. They seemed almost fixed in place. Artificial.

The other captive, meanwhile, was a younger woman and she looked about ready to strangle the blonde captive. The human species’ need to kill one another was such a strange facet of their people.

“So, your young can survive without sustenance?” Caxalonix pondered. “How strange. I cannot think of another species in any galaxy that shares such a trait.”

“Oh no no, they do need food,” the blonde hostage corrected.

“But…you said you do not provide it,” Caxalonix frowned, trying to puzzle out what strange human logic was at play here.

“Nope,” the blonde said cheerily. The younger hostage looked even more exasperatedly murderous at this point, and Caxalonix heard two of his soldiers muttering bets which of the two hostages would win in a fight.

“Well, your education must not be mandatory then, so that your young can stay home and get the sustenance they need,” Caxalonix surmised, proud of himself for figuring out what the human was talking about.

“Nope. Education is mandatory,” the blonde said serenely.

Caxalonix did not have the faintest idea what was going on anymore.

“So…your young are required to attend institutions that do not provide for their needs…?” Caxalonix said slowly, not believing this could be the case.

“It hasn’t been proven it is a need,” the blonde smiled.

“Wait, did we not already establish that it IS a need?” Caxalonix said.

“Stop asking her,” the younger woman said. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying, and listening to her is painful. No, providing food isn’t a requirement in schools, no the food isn’t free when we do provide it, yes kids need food, yes people think not providing them with it is okay. Welcome to the fucking United States on the planet Earth.”

Humans are weird 2

Honestly I’m addicted to these
Terrans are known for being some of the bravest if not stupidly adventurous species, they always go on about their thirst for knowledge and their speeches and monologue about it puts anyone in the mood to explore they make u feel their emotions with their word almost like a spell that projects it in my crew there was an over ecstatic female that was in shock to hear that I really didn’t like being in the exploration crew after being assigned to it I asked her “ What’s so important about this half the planets we find are un inhabitable” she replied with “ How can you not love it what if there is a chance to find sentient life other like us and bring them the joy of this knowledge” another crew member joined in “yeah what is it with terrans and knowledge?” “What is life with out knowing, what is the point of living in ignorance there is so much not discovered so much to learn from maybe it’s just us terrans but learning is like breathing we can’t live with out it back then when earth was still just humans the original terrens they found each other they sailed frontiers explored to know everything about the planet they traveled to the moon to see what else is there what is beyond the horizon and now I like my ancestors before me explore because I can and want to I want to find more learn more bring to my people so they can benefit from it. Us terrans only live so long but record everything what would life be if all we did was eat sleep and die Nothing and we know space is vast and maybe endless but it’s my job to explore Space The Final Frontier” her speech had everyone on the ship with starry eyes looking for more when I asked her about it how did she come up with that speech she just said “it just comes from my heart”