it is finally working!

buying-the-space-farm  asked:

"Accidentally capture the wrong base"? .....tell us more? Please?

this was before we got agent agent back as our handler, and part of the reason why he finally turned up for work again. 

so the thing about clint is that hes 1. not a good listener and 2. hes deaf. mostly. these are separate issues because being mostly deaf doesnt stop him from understanding what people are saying most of the time, it just means that you have to be sure he knows youre trying to communicate with him before you say something. (and also that you should make sure your mask doesnt cover your mouth so he can lipread, but whatever.)

we had this agent—incredibly boring guy in the worst sort of way–who’d requested clint, nat, and i for an op. nat and i were supposed to hit two of the leaders of a crime syndicate while clint got the third. easy peasy, kill some guys, free some hostages, small country liberated, total cakewalk. but the agent running the op and the briefing took FOREVER. he was talking us through like none of us had ever overthrown a country before, explaining every minute detail. nat and i could just kinda zone out and let things wash over us, picking up the pertinent details, but clint cant really do that. his hearing aids help but they weren’t perfect, so he also had to be kinda lipreading just to keep up. which takes a lot of focus for incredibly boring info. naturally he zoned out too.

which was how he missed the fact that his guy was not actually staying in his incredibly fortified base-slash-villa. his hostages were, but he wasn’t. 

luckily, they covered this in the briefing packet we were each provided with, which was a mere 362 pages. 

so obviously none of us actually read it.

we poked through, got blueprints, guard schedules, alarm systems and so on, but didnt bother with most of the rest of it. 

they dropped us in the air over each of our respective targets, clint last. i had the cliffside resort, nat had the downtown headquarters, and clint had the base-villa. nat and i handled ours like pros, of course, corpses everywhere, and clint did too–mowed right through the security, got the hostages, and then called in that his syndicate leader wasnt there, what the hell, who gave me this bad intel.

which was when he was informed that the big bad wasnt IN the villa, he was on the ISLAND ACROSS from the villa, and that hed been supposed to covertly infiltrate the beach house there and quietly capture him. ideally without ever setting foot in the villa; he was just supposed to steal a boat from the villa docks and not get spotted by security. 

unfortunately, clint had blown up all the watercraft at the villa’s docks to keep syndicate members from escaping. which meant he still had to get to the island and capture this guy, but now there were no motorboats left. and if this syndicate jerkoff got away, fury was gonna have his hide.

and thats how clint wound up launching a one-man amphibious assault on an international crime syndicate from a paddleboat.

and also why clint reads his briefings now. 

anonymous asked:

Do u know where I can find the spoiler about epi 19 where Maggie and Kara try to find Alex

Sure thing, friend:

“Then there’s what’s probably my new favorite episode, that [Chyler] doesn’t even know about yet, that is a Kara/Alex/Maggie story, that’s sort of a ticking-clock story. Alex is in serious trouble, and it’s up to Kara and Maggie to save her. It becomes a story about the sister and the girlfriend [who] both love her and are debating the best way to save her. It’s a really great story. We’re really excited about it.” -Kreisberg

And as for the 2x19 episode number confirmation, here’s one place, though there may be a more reliable one out there.

re: “suddenly in America AUs”

(for context, I am specifically posting this on my Yugioh blog, referring to Yugioh, but it is definitely a more universal point than that)

I don’t hate the base idea, firstly. Because, to be perfectly honest, I fully understand moving the setting to whatever country is more familiar to you, because you really have to look up even the smallest details to make sure you’re not completely fudging a basic fact about Japan. And that is A Whole Thing just for the sake of fan fiction. 

My deal is, in doing that, almost unanimously people also make the characters white? And that’s where it becomes Ridiculous in my eyes.

Speaking as a non white American, I can assure you that kids from the same or similar cultures tend to stick together. So there is no reason why the central cast can’t be a group of Japanese American kids in your fic. That’d honestly be pretty damn cool.

And like, if you wanted to add racial diversity amongst the Yugi & Friends group (something missing from fanfic, western media, and Japanese media) that’d be really cool too! But changing them all to white is unnecessary and messed up, because that’s essentially saying the only way to be American is to be white.

(rub a dub dub, two boys in a tub) - a haven apartments oneshot

For @goddamnminyard , in response to destroying my feels one too many times.  Don’t think this is enough fluff to balance out the angst fest you and the cfha crew are currently doing though.


There’s a bathroom on each level of the apartment building, shared among the occupants of the floor. It’s as old-fashioned as the rest of the building – brick walls and pipes exposed, vintage cabinets and out-of-date rugs – but Ardyn’s a meticulous person; so, as landlord he keeps everything in top form or up to date at least. The heater, shower and sink are all in mint and working condition; it’s more than enough to keep the residents from complaining.

The fact that it’s a shared space means that there’s always a piece of personal item stored away at one nook or cranny of the room, a catastrophic mixture of the residents’ eccentricity showing. It means that there’s a list of general rules to be adhered to when utilising the place – like don’t leave wet towels on the floor, who’s turn it is to wash the bathtub, and then some. It means that there’s a schedule written out for everyone on when was the best time for them to take their turn in the bathroom.

But for the next few hours, Noctis has the whole bathroom to himself.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

MTMTE Ultra Magnus, Megatron and Perceptor reacting to their s/o who does silly things to get their attention when they are too focused on their work

Ultra Magnus

  • He’s had plenty of practice ignoring Rodimus, so you’ll have to be persistent. 
  • However, if you do something extra cute he’ll put down his data pad.
  • He finally gives you the attention you’ve been working for, giving you kisses and laughing softly at your antics. 
  • Once you’re able to pull him away from his work, make sure he gets some rest! Snuggle up with him and invite him to take a nap with you. 
  • Later, he thanks you for reminding him to take a break.

Megatron

  • Usually he gets angry when people interrupt him, but since it’s you he just asks for a few more minutes.
  • He gets huffy when you keep at it. He tells you to please let him be. He’s almost done…
  • You keep going and he finally snaps at you, yelling at you to hush. He immediately freezes and shame fills his spark.
  • He apologizes profusely. His servos hover in front of you, afraid to touch or startle you. If you start crying he practically begs for forgiveness. He’s absolutely horrified with himself. 
  • Once you’ve calmed down he cuddles you and gives you all the kisses you want, promising to make it up to you and never snap at you again. 

Perceptor

  • He’s so absorbed in his work he doesn’t even notice you. 
  • Or, you think he doesn’t, until he starts snickering at your the goofy faces you make at him. 
  • He’s still adamant about getting his work done, though. He goes right back to it. Time to pull out the big guns.
  • You give him Puppy Dog Eyes “Percy…”
  • He is weak. Come sit in his lap, he will give you all the attention you want.
Soulmate Sex

 Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Where soulmates have a physical connection, there are many negatives: bruises, broken bones, concussions. I’m here to tell you the positives ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Warnings: mega annoyance, Lemony Snicket writing moment, and masturbation ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Originally posted by bigmuldyandtinysculler

Originally posted by knfie-edge

With a satisfied smile, you shut the neon notebook. Hours of studying and hard work all for final exams. You love final exams, not the way Hermione likes final exams, but the way Ron and Harry like final exams: because it means summer is close. Summer, where you can watch netflix all night and sleep all day. It’s really great. 

What also makes final exams so great is the fact that you’re a really good test taker. Weeks and weeks in advance are spent studying and organizing elaborate schedules. Blistered fingers from highlighting and scribbling and not to mention the celebratory twinkies for each paragraph you read in a textbook. 

Needless to say, everyone always wants to be your study partner and you can’t blame them. 

You shut off the desk lamp before reaching your arms up in a relieving stretch. 

You had pulled up the soft blankets of your delicately decorated bed and prepared to settle into sleep when-

“Aah!”

You slapped a hand over your mouth, startled at the moan that slipped from your mouth. 

In your defense, there was a feeling that caused the sound. You had become aware of the wet feeling between your legs and you cussed loudly. 

“Fuck. Please don’t do this n-n-hNG!” You collapsed onto the bed, shoving your face into to muffle the moans. 

You pull up the sleeve and turn your wrist over. The lines of the heart birthmark imprinted onto your skin was a scarlet color, deep and seducing. 

You know what the means.

Everyone knows what that means, actually. When the soulmate mark is blue, it means they’re sad, black means dead, green means asleep, pink means embarrassed, yellow means happy, purple means injured, and red means-

A sudden whimper escapes your mouth and you quickly shove your face back into the pillow. Your body is now trembling wildly. If anyone walked in right now (which you doubted would happen since it’s eleven thirty at night) they’d probably think you were crying. 

You bit down on your lip, holding in wanton pants. Is your soulmate going through heat or something?! Sure, you guys get horny and need to rub one out sometimes. I mean you’re human, but what the fuck is going on right here? 

What the fuck is going on with your soulmate in general?! For one, there were random spurts of purple hearts on your wrist. You couldn’t count how many times you’d woken up with bruises on your rib cage.

But never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever  has your soulmate gotten so horny so quick. Usually you can just…feel when it’s about to happen and you’ve got some kind of warning or advanced notice. 

You felt yourself pulsing, begging for the release but your soulmate had a surprising ability to drag out an orgasm.

Wherever the fuck that came from because if you knew your soulmate (and you do) then you know that he’s definitely a guy because only a guy could cum in less than fifteen seconds.

Talk about stereotypes. 

But now all of a sudden this is a fanfiction worthy orgasm. Like. One you’d read in a fic with Bucky Barnes (who doesn’t read Bucky fanfiction? He’s everyone’s dream soulmate). 

You couldn’t help yourself when you decided to hurry up this session so you could get some sleep. You spread your legs, blushing like crazy, and reach your hand down. 

You can feel your soulmate’s heart skip a thousand beats when he realizes you’ve joined him. 


By the end of the night, Peter was laying in his bed, breathing heavily. “Holy shit,” he managed to say to himself. There was a pinch on his arm, his soulmate’s response. 

Then there was a smack against his cheek, which actually kind hurt. Ink showed up on his arm, swirly cursive handwriting yelling at him: 

JUST WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?? I HAVE A TEST IN FOUR HOURS DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS THAT’S RIGHT IT’S 4 IN THE DAMN MORNING SOO I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK STAYING UP AND GETTING OFF IS GOING TO DO SO LET ME GIVE YOU A HINT IT’S GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED THAT’S WHAT THANKS FOR NOTHING ASSHAT PEACE OUT FUCKER


You throw the sharpie across the room, the cap popping off when it hit the wall and resulting in ink being spattered over the paint job. “Mother fucker,” you hiss, balling up knots of hair in your hands. 

There was a tickle on the palm of your hand. You look down and see ink spelling out: sorry :)

“Whatever.”

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on myself over the course of the year. I’m 22 now. When I was 21 i had already tried to kill myself and was in a deep depression since the time I was 13. Last year I didn’t have a job, a sense of direction in life, or any money. I was also at a weight where I hated myself. In high school I weighed 180lbs. A year ago I weighed 260lbs. I hated myself and I couldn’t stand to look at myself. Turning 22 I had a job for 9 ½ months, a somewhat steady income, money saved up, trips planned to see my little sis, I know exactly what I want to do with my life and know how to get there while working hard for it, a larger, more refined group of friends, I weigh 212lbs and working on losing more and I’m finally happy with myself and I feel as I beat my depression. It’s funny how many people come and go in just one year. It’s funny how much can just change like that.

Just Relax

Prompt: You’re worn out from your busy week and Joji stays in bed with you for the majority of the day. 

A/N; Thank you so much for requesting @idubbbzarms!  I’m glad you like my work♡ Also, I tried to be as descriptive as I could

Warnings: Sooo it was suppose to be fluffy ish and with cuddling but it turned into something different? I hope it’s still good though


You exhaled as the warm water from the shower head hit your aching skin. You closed your eyes at the contact, your muscles instantly relaxing. The impact from work/school over the past few weeks has finally hit you, and you were beyond exhausted. You woke up, your body aching inside and out and you knew there was no way you were surviving the day out of bed, so you called in sick and your friends promised to let you barrow missing notes.That calmed you down a bit, but this shower. Oh man it was probably the highlight of your life.

You sat on the floor of the tub, your back to the water, resting your head against your knees, your eyes closed. When the water started to cool, you turned the faucet all the way to the right, putting it back into full power. 

You sat there for god knows how long; your mind drifting between reality and a dream like state. You didn’t snap back into consciousness until the water start to get ice cold. You let out a hiss of surprised, quickly fumbling to shut the water off.  

You sat there for a little longer, absorbing the cool bathroom air as you tried to find the strength to push yourself up and get dressed. Slowly, you pushed the shower curtain open, grabbing your towel that resting on the towel seat and wrapping it around your body as you stood. 

You dried your feet on the soft bath rug before slowly, getting dressed. By the time you were all dressed and somewhat decent looking, your body ached even worse than it did before. You sat down on the toilet, resting your head in your hands as you closed your eyes.

The current hunched over position you were in didn’t help your sore limbs, but you just had to relax and you couldn’t find it in yourself to go back to the bedroom and crawl into bed at the moment. 

Your mind had drifted off again, focusing on nothing, but your misery. You hadn’t even heard the sound of the front door opening and closing, or the footsteps walking around the apartment looking for you.

Joji had been out most of the morning grocery shopping. He had planned on asking you if you wanted to come, but you looked so peaceful that he didn’t want to wake you. So, he quietly got dressed and slipped out the apartment.

The thought of getting back home to you excited Joji in all ways. You didn’t have class until later so you guys had time to spend together for a bit. He couldn’t keep himself from grinning like an idiot on the way back home. He just looked you too much. Everything about you was wonderful in all sorts of ways and he still questions how he got this lucky.

Joji shook his head, trying to keep his attention on the road instead of the thoughts of you. Wrecking his car was the last thing he planned on doing. 

He bounced lightly on his feet as he got out his car, carrying the groceries up to your guys apartment. He fumbled on his pocket for the keys, before turning the knob, nudging it open with his foot. 

“Y/N! You up yet?” Joji yelled, closing the front door and placing the bags in the counter. He received only silence in return and he knit his brows in confusion. You usually never sleep in. 

He made his way down the hall, towards your guys room. He opened the door, looking around only to see nothing. The bed still hadn’t been made so he knew you were up. He wondered over towards the bathroom, knocking lightly before nudging the door open. His eyes instantly landed on your hunched over figure and he grew worried. 

"Babe?!” - Your head snapped up at the sound of Jojis voice, smiling brightly at the sight of your beloved boyfriend. But it quickly disappeared at the worried look on his face as he hurried to you. 

 "What happened?“ He crouched, resting his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them lightly. You let out a relaxed breath, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch. 

"My body hurts,” you mumbled, feeling much better now that Joji was here with you. 

“Why? Did something happen?”

You just sighed, closing your eyes once again as you leaned forward, resting your head against his chest. You just wanted to lay in his arms for the rest of your life. 

Joji sensed that you’d rather not talk about it. He understood. He stood up, pulling you up with him earning a small groan in response. He kept an arm around your tired form as he guides you out the bathroom and to the bedroom. 

Your body instantly melted as you hit the bed. You couldn’t help to smile, curling up into a ball, letting out a breath. You felt the bed dip beside you and you rolled over, watching Joji settle down next to you.

“What are you doing?” You asked. 

“Resting,” He simply said, closing his eyes.

You stared at him, biting down on your lip. After a few seconds, you crawled over towards him, flopping down so your arms were crossed against his chest, head resting on them.

Joji opened his eyes, smiling as he looked down at you. He gently ran his fingers through your hair, taking in the strong sent of your shampoo and condition. You let out a noise of pleasure at his touch, making him smile even more. 

You turned your head so you were looking up at him with tired eyes. 

“You should rest,” He mumbled, caressing your cheek with his thumb. You just sighed, enjoying this moment. 

It was pretty rare for you and Joji to have moments like this with how busy the two of you were and you didn’t want to miss it by falling asleep, 

“I just want to enjoy this moment,” You mumbled, watching his face. 

He knit his brows in concentration, running his fingers along your face, and through your hair. He traced random patterns on your back and bare arms, humming lightly to himself. The gesture made your muscles relax even more, closing your eyes again. You could feel yourself drifting off and soon, your breathing had slowed down to a steadier pace.

Joji smiled for the 100th time since he has been home, reaching across the bed to pull one of the throw blankets covered your curled up form. He leaned over, placing a kiss to your head before shifting into a laying position, careful not to wake you. He too, fell asleep to the sound of your quiet breathing. 

Who I Am

Rating: Everyone!

Genre: Fluff!

Word Count: 1.3K

Plot: Reader moved to the city of Boston, for her job. Her first week there she meets and handsome guy, and thing progress from there. After 3 months of dating, Y/N finally decides to tell Chris where she works.

A/N; That plot is terrible because I wrote it at midnight and was falling asleep, but had to get this finished!


Boston was an amazing city.  You had recently moved here for work, and right now you were just getting to know the city. It was beautiful. You had moved from a small town in Ohio, so even thought Massachusetts is not the biggest state, it was a big change for you. It was a big decision to decided to move and leave everything you even knew behind, but it was anew adventure for you. You tried to keep your job private,  for your safety,  and others. You had moved to Boston to work with the police, for more experience. You were single at the time, but one day when you were walking downtown, and stopped at a small coffee shop, and went in. When you were sitting at a table, reading up on different things, a stranger walked up to you. He was tall and muscular, and had brown hair and a beard. He was extremely attractive. “Hey, do you mind if I sit here?” He asked you. “Not at all” you said with a smile. “Chris” he said, reaching out his hand and shaking yours “Y/N” you said. “Do you live here?” He asked you. “Yeah, I just moved here actually, I grew up in  a small town in Ohio.” You said. You decided to avoid mentioning that you came here to work with the police. Every other guy that came up to you did the same thing, and every time you mentioned you were a cop, they suddenly lost all interest in you. “You?” You asked him. “Yeah I grew up here, I live in Los Angeles, but I live here a lot when I’m not working” you smiled and nodded your head. You and Chris continued making small talk. You started to really like this guy, but at the same time,  you were scared to fall for him, for his safety.  Being a cop and being in a relationship wasn’t easy. Most guys you had recently dated only dated you so they could say that their girlfriend was a cop. Your relationships never lasted long. But this is a new city. Nobody knew you, so you could kinda start a new path.  Make new friends. Another 20 minutes went by, and you had to go to a meeting to get to now your partners and your prescient. ‘It was nice talking to you Y/N, maybe we could go out another time?“ He asked you, nervously "that would be great!” You said. “Friday night at 6?” He asked “Sounds like a plan! See you then Chris.” You said grabbing your bag and leaving. Maybe this was going to be a good start to your new life.


You started working for the police that Wednesday. After a long day at work, you realized it was much harder to be a officer here. It was so much busier, and so much more hectic. You got home, and when you checked your phone and saw a text from Chris. “Hey, something came up, I know it’s late notice, but could you do tonight at 7 instead?” You looked at the clock that read 5:30. After a long day at work you were exhausted and weren’t sure if you wanted to go out. But you really liked this guy. So you answered him. “Sure thing! See you at 7 then!” You answered and put your phone down and headed towards the shower.


7 rolled around quicker then you thought, and before you knew it, your doorbell rang. You were about to open the door when you saw your bulletproof vest that has the word police written across the front of it, sitting right in front of the door. You picked it up and threw it as far as you could behind you, along with some other things that could give away your job. You pulled open the door. “Hey! Sorry it took so long, there we some.. things… blocking my door” you said with a smile. “Not a problem” he said with a smile. “You look beautiful by the way” he added. “Thank you” you said, you cheeks starting to glow. You and Chris went to a small restaurant downtown Boston. The more you got to know him, the more you fell in love. Then night went by way faster the you expected, and before you knew it, you were back at your doorstep, saying goodbye. “I had a really good night tonight, Chris. Thank you” You said, turning to face him. “I had a great time to Y/N, it was really nice.” You smiled when he told you that. It had been a while since you had been going on a date, and you were defiantly happy.


You and Chris had now been dating for 3 months, and you have never been happier. You learned so much about him, and hes turned out to  be a really amazing person. You learned he was an actor, for some reason you forgot that when you met him thought. The only thing you haven’t told him yet was that you were a cop. You started to feel bad that you have been dating 3 months, and you still haven’t told him. You really cared about him, and dint want him to get hurt. You wanted to tell him but you just couldn’t figure out how. You were scared he was going to leave you, because you didn’t tell him right away. You decided you were going to tell him the next time you were going to see him.


It was a long day at work today. You were super busy with other cases, and on top of all that, you had lots of paperwork to do. You definitely didn’t need that shooting case to work on, but its life. It’s what you signed up for. You walked in and threw your keys on the table beside your door. you somehow missed the fact that there we an extra pair of shoes, and another jackets hanging up when you walked in. you unbuckled your belt and let it fall to the ground with a crash, and everything spilt everywhere. Your gun slid across the floor and all the bullets following. You let out a frustrated sign, and just left it their. Your bulletproof vest joined your belt on the floor, along with your boots and jacket. You didn’t realize the Chris had heard you, ad was now standing in the kitchen entrance, starting down at your gun, with a bunch of different mixed expressions on his face. You looked up and saw him, and jumped. “Chris! Chris? Chris..” You said in three different expressions. “ Um… Whats that for?” he said pointed at your gun on the floor. You let out a huff. “ I was going to tell you.. but I didn’t really know how. I guess I was scared that you would leave me or lose any interest in me if I told you I was a cop. So yeah…. Surprise?!” You said looking at the mess you made with all your gear. it was a minute before he spoke up. “ You thought I would leave you because of where you worked? Oh no sweetheart, I would never do that” he said. You lighted up after he said that. “ I’m sorry if i made you upset that I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt” he walked over to you and pulled you into a hug. “ You didn’t make me upset at all. it thinks is pretty cool that your  cop.” he said letting go of you, a small smile spreading across your face. “ And now I don’t have to be worried for the next time that I see bullets just laying on your kitchen table” you let out a laugh. “ Yeah, sorry about that.” You said laughing and just thinking about what his expression would have been. “ Come on, why don’t you go get cleaned up, cause I made supper. and afterwards we can watch movies all night.” You smiled to yourself thing about how lucky you were to have someone like him.


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