it is better than whistle

TANK TIPS.

Remember your orders.
Shoot quick.
Shoot low. A miss which throws dust in the enemy’s eyes is better than one which whistles in his ear.
Shoot cunning.
Shoot the enemy while they are rubbing their eyes.
Economise ammunition and don’t kill a man three times.
Remember that trenches are curly and dug-outs deep – look round the corners.


Watch the progress of the fight and your neighbouring Tanks.
Watch your infantry whom you are helping.
Remember the position of your own line.
Smell out the enemy’s machine guns and other small guns and kill them first with your 6-pdrs.
You will not see them for they will be cunningly hidden.
You must ferret out where they are, judging by the following signs:–
Sound.
Dust.
Smoke.
A shadow in a parapet.
A hole in a wall, haystack, rubbish heap, woodstack, pile of bricks.
They will usually be placed to fire slantways across the front and to shoot along wire.
One 6-pdr. shell that hits the loophole of a m.g. emplacement will do it in.


Use the 6-pdr. with care; shoot to hit and not to make a noise.
Never have any gun, even when unloaded, pointing at your own infantry, or a 6-pdr. gun pointed at another Tank.
It is the unloaded gun that kills the fool’s friends.


Never mind the heat.
Never mind the noise.
Never mind the dust.
Think of your pals in the infantry.
Thank God you are bulletproof and can help the infantry, who are not.


Always have your mask handy.

—  Royal Tank Regiment guidelines for tankers, WWI.

anonymous asked:

I absolutely HATE when people snap their fingers at me. I know you think it's necessary to interrupt me when I'm helping another customer, but don't treat me like a dog. Literally any other way of getting my attention is better than snapping or whistling.

Summary of Gates Solos Per Album
  • Sounding of the Seventh Trumpet: Power ballad paradise
  • Waking the Fallen: Look Ma, I haz fast fingerz
  • City of Evil: Whammy bar for basic bitches
  • Self Titled: My guitar can whistle pitch better than Mariah Carey aka Welcome to Triplet Heaven/Hell
  • Diamonds in the Rough: Pretty much a little bit of all of the above on an album no one really ever talks about
  • Nightmare: All of the above but 20% cooler
  • Hail to the King: I wanna sound like the bands I grew up listening to and end up making someone's dad think we covered Slayer
WHAT I WILL TELL MY DAUGHTER WHEN SHE BOILS

When your knees turn into belt buckles, let them buckle softly. It is better than crumbling. When you feel like a teapot that has been whistling since 20 BC, take yourself off the stove. Let yourself cool, you do not always have to be boiling. Prepare yourself like you are lemon tea. Whoever said you couldn’t have your cake and eat it didn’t know that it was okay to care about yourself like this. And I will not say it is okay for you to be selfish, because you are not being selfish. It is not your job to be a plate. It is not your job to serve. You are a tectonic plate—you do what you like with your world.

SALMA DEERA

paganinpurple  asked:

Adrientte: mistaken identity

Love Square Prompts

When she got her hands on that jerk, he was dead meat.

Worse than dead meat. She’d take him apart and toss him to the dogs as chew toys. If they’d even bother, that is. Most dogs would probably have better tastes than to bite into such a sour creep.

Steam practically whistled out of the girl’s ears as she stormed across the campus in a murderous rage that had bystanders tripping over themselves to get out of the tiny pig-tailed teenager’s way. She barely paid any of them any mind though, too intent on finding the boy who was going to force her to get blood all over her pretty new sundress. Her eyes flashed lightning as they scanned the faces around her to find the one that matched the picture Alya sent her, and more than one person flinched and shrank back when her fury settled on them before she dismissed them and moved on to the next person. Finally a flash of blond hair caught the corner of her eye, just the right color to make the dark-haired girl stop dead and turn to assess the head it belonged to a little more closely. Sure enough, it was a match to the one she had been searching for.

The smile that stretches across her face at the sight of the boy is 100% predator-on-the-hunt, and the handsome blond goes brilliantly red and wide-eyed at the sight of it. Her hips roll in a dangerous strut as she closes in on the boy, who looks like he’s stopped breathing entirely at this point. 

When she finally reached the little table where he’s sitting, apparently working on his homework, she slammed her hands down on the surface hard enough to make the hardcover textbook bounce a few inches in the air, a few pages fluttering to leave the boy in a completely different chapter than where he left off. The boy jumped a little in alarm and leaned back fearfully when the blue-eyed girl leaned forward so that their noses were only centimeters apart.

“You.” She hissed, narrowing her eyes in contempt. “Just who do you think you are?!” 

“E-excuse me?” The boy squeaked- really, squeaked. That was the only word to describe it.

“I don’t care how famous your dad is or how much money you have, if you don’t have the decency to show a little respect to someone then you are the worst kind of trash to ever live!” She continued hotly as though he’d never spoken. “Bridgette hasn’t stopped crying since you pulled your little stunt, you creep!”

“Bridgette?” The blond repeated, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, “but I don’t know any-!”

“Oh don’t even TRY playing dumb now, pretty boy!” She snarled, closing in on him even more and forcing the boy to practically climb out of his seat to get away from her. “Alya was standing RIGHT THERE! She told me all about how cruel you were when you broke my cousin’s heart! You might have the top scores on the campus, but if you think that gives you the right to treat other people so poorly-!”

“Wait!” the boy yelped, falling backwards in his chair and landing on the ground with a loud crash. The girl didn’t let that deter her, though, making her way around the table to loom over him like a tiny, terrifying goddess of vengeance and rage. “WaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT! I think there’s been a mistake!”

“Mistake?” The girl snapped back advancing on the boy as he frantically crab-crawled away from her in a way that probably would’ve been comical if she wasn’t so angry. “The only mistake is that Bridgette didn’t break your nose when YOU broke her heart! And that’s not a mistake I plan on repeating!”

“WAIT!” The boy said again, rolling away to bounce back to his feet. Still backing away from the girl, the boy stuck a hand in his pocket and dug out a phone, keeping a nervous eye on the angry girl as he quickly swiped the screen to unlock it.

“Trying to call campus security, huh?” The girl assumed, grinning viciously. “Go ahead and try! By the time they get here I’ll-!”

Suddenly the phone was thrust in front of her face, forcing the girl to stare at a picture of two incredibly similar looking blond boys sitting side by side.

“By any chance, is the person you’re looking for named Félix Agreste?” The boy in front of her asked with a sheepish grin. “Because I’m afraid that’s actually my twin brother.”

The girl gaped for a moment before scrambling for her own phone to compare the picture Alya had texted her of her target to the photo the boy provided her, realizing with a growing sense of horror that the other boy pictured alongside the blond she had just been attempting to murder looked much more similar to the one who had so cruelly tore up the tickets Bridgette had tried to give her crush.

“You… you’re not…?” she said, voice small as the green eyed boy in front of her grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

“Afraid not.” He said. “Sorry though. Whatever you’re trying to kill Félix over, he probably deserves it. He usually does.” The girl’s face immediately turned scarlet with mortification as she practically shrank into a ball.

She was suddenly very sorry that earthquakes didn’t strike Paris. She could use a nice hole to hide in for the rest of her life right about now.

“I am so, SO sorry!” She said tearfully, cringing in shame as the boy gave an easy laugh.

“Hey, no worries! This happens more than you could imagine. At least this time, no one dumped hot coffee on me.” the blond said cheerfully, looking much more relaxed now that the girl wasn’t trying to kill him.

“I’m so stupid! I should’ve asked instead of just- I am SO sorry!”

“It’s alright! Really!” The boy grinned. “I’m Adrien, by the way. Adrien Agreste. The lesser of two evils, I guess.”

“I’m such an idiot.” The girl groaned. “I should’ve asked or gotten confirmation. God, I almost punched you in the face the minute I saw you!”

“Thank you VERY much for not doing that.” Adrien replied, “My dad wouldn’t be happy with me if I had to call him up and tell him I wouldn’t be able to model anything for a while because a pretty girl broke my nose.”

“I wasn’t going to-!” The girl started to sputter, going even more red. “Well, okay, so I WAS, B-but I didn’t KNOW-!”

“So what’d Félix do this time, anyways?” Adrien asked, hoping that getting the girl to talk about the reason behind her anger would help relieve some of her embarrassment over nearly attacking the wrong twin. “He doesn’t keep me up-to-date on his daily Asshole attacks, which sucks because if he did I’d be a little more prepared when stuff like this happened.”

“My cousin tried to ask him on a date to the Orchestra, but he just tore up the tickets in her face and walked away.” The girl answered, still a little embarrassed but clearly even more upset. Adrien frowned at the girl’s explanation.

“Yep. That sounds Like Fé alright.” Adrien said flatly. “Sorry. He’s a little… well…”

“Heartless?” the girl suggested flatly, most of her embarrassment fading entirely of irritation.

“Good enough word as any for it, I guess.” Adrien replied with a nervous laugh. “And while I get that he deserves it, I really don’t think punching Félix is gonna teach him anything other than to walk faster and hide smarter when pretty girls go on a warpath.” Seeing the girl frown, Adrien hesitated for a moment before adding, “But maybe… well, I am Félix’s twin, and we’ve had our share of disagreements over the years. Wanna try out some of the most effective ways I’ve found to get back at him when he’s being more of a jerk than usual?” A dark brow arched over blue eyes, and a small, hesitant smile made it’s way to the girl’s lips.

“I guess I wouldn’t mind a little insider information.” She answered before studying him with a faintly curious look. “But… why are you offering to helping me?”

“For the greater good?” Adrien asked more that he replied, giving the girl a nervous smile. He’d apparently fallen into the girl’s good graces now that the misunderstanding had been cleared up. He didn’t want to risk ruining that by hitting on the girl when there was a chance she was still angry, even if she was simultaneously the cutest and most terrifying thing he’d ever set eyes on. “Although, if we’re gonna be conspiring together, maybe I should know your name?” The girl studied him for a moment, appearing hesitant before finally answering. 

“Marinette. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” she supplied him. Adrien beamed happily at that.

“Nice to meet you, Marinette!” He said earnestly, making the girl scoff and roll her eyes.

“Yeah I sorta doubt that.” She said dryly.

“Doubt away, but it’s the honest truth!” Adrien insisted with a playful wink. “It’s always nice to get beaten to the punch when a guy wants to start a conversation with a nice girl like you.” Marinette stared for a solid minute after that, a look of incomprehension on her face.

“…Did you just make a pun over the fact that I was trying to beat you up?” she asked at last, looking as though she wasn’t sure if she should be impressed or aghast.

“I think you mean that I made a PUN-ch?” Adrien corrected with a cheshire grin.

“…Oh my GOD…”

“Oh come on now, don’t beat yourself up over it! It’s an easy mistake! Anyone can make it!”

“Nooooo. What have I gotten myself intooooo…?” Adrien grinned and packed his things away as Marinette buried her hands in her face, thrilled that all the awkwardness had left her posture at last.

“Come on, Félix is in class until 5, so if we want to avenge your cousin’s broken heart we gotta move fast.”

“And what makes you think that I’m going anywhere with a punster like you?” Marinette demanded with an amused smile as she began walking alongside Adrien as he left the cafe.

“Because I’m charming and handsome and you love me?” Adrien suggested.

Marinette gave an unladylike snort at that.

“And because I have a spare key to Félix’s apartment and know where he keeps all his books.”

“Okay, that sounds like a more valid reason.” Marinette conceded with a grin.

“Such a cruel lady I’ve entrusted my delicate heart to!” Adrien sighed dramatically, “keep talking like THAT, and I’ll wonder if you ever really loved me at all!”

“Oh don’t be silly, of course I love you.” Marinette cooed, blushing slightly as Adrien stumbled before turning to her with wide eyes.

“W-wha…?” He babbled, making the blue eyed girl grin before she leaned in close, making him go red again.

“I always get a kick out of boys who don’t pull their punches, you know.” She confided to him before grinning wickedly and sauntering away from the shell-shocked model.

It took every ounce of self control he had for Adrien not to propose to her then and there.