it is a first go

Imagine:

During a party, your ex, Tom, sees Sebastian flirting with you and how you enjoy it and flirt back. He waits, and the second you’re alone, he approaches you and starts talking about how wonderful things were when you were together and how much he misses you, clearly testing the waters to see if you’d be willing to get back with him. When Sebastian catches your attention from a distance by telling you he poured you a drink, you just look and smile at your ex before saying, “Goodnight, Tom”.

Gyaaaaaaah, I’m gonna take a chance and post this here - please be kind.

My genderbent cosplay of Yuri Katsuki’s Eros costume
Everything is made by me.

Personal responsibility

So someone messaged me to ‘take down’ a post I’d reblogged and said it was “weird I was 4 years back into their archive”…  I wasn’t in their archive.  I had simply done a search for a funny imgur post, and their post came up.  They messaged me, very curtly, to remove it and explained why…  After hearing why, I understand, however, if this video poses such a threat, why is it still viewable and rebloggable by the general public?  This seems like a thing that should have been taken down ages ago.

There seems to be an ongoing pattern of behavior here that’s worrisome. People are holding complete strangers responsible for every trauma that has happened to them.  There’s no way we all can read each other’s minds and pasts.  Most of us are just here for fandom, jokes, cats, and general escapism.  Hell, we all have our own traumas, every last one of us.  If someone misunderstands a post you made, or reblogs a photo or video that brings bad memories for you, we have literally no idea.  You can either continue to message people (in not so nice ways) to alert them to your discomfort, or you can simply remove the thing, block it, blacklist it, etc.  That ensures your well being a lot more than continuing to expect everyone else to simply ‘know’ about your pain.

We can’t hold everyone else responsible for our own troubles, memories, traumas, etc.  Take your own well being into your hands as much as possible, as really that’s the strongest defense you have.  The rest of us might be willing to help, but it’s not a burden that should be forced onto us without us even knowing.

I assume what happened with the hospital at the end of tws is that sam rushed in after steve looking worried as hell and the hospital staff (correctly) assumed he was steve’s boyfriend and let him in

I’m seriously considering turning the Stay-at-Home Stan AU into a legit multichap for AO3.

would anyone be interested in it?

okay but I also have another story

So I always go to the same liquor store, mainly because it’s a block away so #convenience, ya know? It’s super tiny so I’ve only ever really seen the same two or three guys work there. And so now, even though I don’t go all that often, they all apparently know me. Which is nice because at this point they don’t ask me for my ID anymore, but it has also made the last few times when I went to pay…interesting.

Time 1: I go to pay and the guy says “oh! We haven’t seen you here in awhile!!!” Which makes me wonder what it says about me that the only place where people know me is the liquor store, but whatever. 

Time 2: I go and I was just a mess, I didn’t put my contacts in and didn’t dry my hair. I didn’t think much of it, but then the guy asked for my ID. That I thought was a little strange, since they haven’t asked me for it in ages, but whatever, maybe they’re being stricter now. But then he looks at it and goes “OH! I know you!!!” Which THEN makes me think maybe when I slum it in the looks department I slum it a bit too hard.

Time 3 aka today: I go to pay and the guy again comments that he hasn’t seen me in awhile. (Okay I went like two ago it hasn’t been THAT long but okay dude.) And then he asks me how everything is going and says “you have a baby, right?” At which point I literally go “NOOOOOOPE DEFINITELY NOT THANK GOD THIS BOOZE IS JUST FOR ME TYVM.”  

idk I feel like this post had more of a point when I was composing it in my head but basically it just makes me feel a certain kind of way that the only place where I have established myself as a “regular” is at a liquor store and the main comment I receive is how surprising it is that I haven’t been there more often. 

HIATUS

This is the part where I tell you, the people reading this, that I’ll be going on hiatus for about the entire month of May. Reason being exams and suffering grades as well as I’m just not feeling Clarissa. I’ll be back for sure, probably around the last week of May!

These last few months of my life have been so incredibly overwhelming that I feel I’m entitled to at least six vacations in order to run from my problems and not face them. I gotta ask, though — do you think it would be better to lie face down in the dirt to scream for a few hours? Or the snow? ‘Cause I’m torn between heading to Hawaii or to Nunavut.  … — or just staying home and getting totally fucking wasted.