it has come to pass

my sister supports the amputation plan.  she agrees that getting a peg leg would be very me and has promised to call me peg should it ever come to pass.  i feel really good about this

Pt. 2 How To Achieve Tranquility Of The Heart? Why Am I Tested?


In July 2006, I was watching the news report on Isrāʼīl’s devastating attack on Lubnān. As I saw the images of severed bodies and heard the cries for help, the frustration and helplessness I felt was overwhelming. So I decided to pray while reciting from the mus’haf (hardcopy of the Qurʾān, which is the word of Allāh). As I was reading, I arrived at the verse:

“Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, ‘When is the help of Allāh?’ Unquestionably, the help of Allāh is near.” [Qurʾān, 2:214]

And that was the answer. As human beings, we will be tested. But this doesn’t mean that we are going to live our lives in perpetual hardship, because ‘unquestionably, the help of Allāh is near.’ So what does it mean when we are going through hardship? Is Allāh Subhānahū wa Ta'ālā (exalted is He) angry with us? What if there is no way out?

Whenever we go through hardship, there are things we need to know with certainty. Allāh (ﷻ) tells us in the Qurʾān:

“[…] Allāh will bring about, after hardship, ease.” [Qurʾān, 65:7]

Certain hardships are so consuming that we cannot focus on anything but the difficulty. But we have to remember that if we were to enumerate the blessings of Allāh (ﷻ), we would not be able to count them. Reminding ourselves of the other blessings in our lives helps us to see the test within the context of the grand scheme of things. Just the fact that you can make sajda (prostration), and call out, “O Allāh!” is a blessing that surpasses all others.

But why?

There is a purpose behind the trial, and this purpose corresponds to our internal state and our relationship with Allāh (ﷻ). Allāh (ﷻ) has 99 Beautiful Names, and it should suffice us to know that He is the Most Merciful, the Most Just and the Most Wise. Your test is not being put upon you by a random being, but by the Almighty Allāh, who is closer to us than our jugular vein.

Tests are a way to purify us. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allāh expiates some of his sins for that,” [Bukhari]

Our ultimate aim is to earn Allāh’s pleasure and Jannah (paradise), and all of us fall short in truly worshiping Allāh (ﷻ) as He should be worshiped. Many of us fail to ask for forgiveness regularly or to reflect on our state and return to Allāh (ﷻ). These tests, as burdensome as they are, ease our burden on the Day of Judgment, if we respond with patience.

Trials also have a way of reminding us of our purpose. If we are far from Allāh (ﷻ), the test is usually to bring us close to Him. Whatever heedlessness we are engaging in, the test should make us realize we have no one, no one at all, but Him.

If we are close to Allāh (ﷻ), it is to test our resilience. Are we only close to Allāh (ﷻ) in times of ease, or does our trust extend to the times of hardship? When we are tested, do we leave the good deeds that we used to do? Allāh (ﷻ) describes such people in the following verse:

“And of the people is he who worships Allāh on an edge. If he is touched by good, he is reassured by it; but if he is struck by trial, he turns on his face [to the other direction]. He has lost [this] world and the Hereafter. That is what is the manifest loss.” [Qurʾān, 22:11]

This may seem counter-intuitive, but tests are also out of Allāh’s love. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“When Allāh loves a servant, He tests him,” [Tirmidhī].

Sometimes the answer to a test is that need for Allāh (ﷻ), those long hours spent in the night, and the tears of sincerity.

May Allāh (ﷻ) make us of those who constantly turn to Him, in hardship and ease.

The day has come, and you have passed away. The fates give you two options as to how you will spend your afterlife. You may spend eternity exploring outer space in the vast expanses beyond this planet, but you can never return to the surface of the Earth, only viewing it from above. Your second option is to spend eternity exploring the depths of the oceans, including the insides of volcanoes and all the way to the Center of the Earth. But you may never return to the land, and can only view it from the edges of waters. Where shall you go, soft spirit?

imagine the foxes walking in on andreil making out for the first(and probably not last) time:

· so neil had left for a few days to figure out some stuff bout their deal with ichirou and hes back but they had a game that night so andreil couldn’t have a proper “reunion”

· the game is over(they won obvs) and the rest of the teams talking to the press but neil’s exhausted so he goes alone to the changing room

· andrew follows neil

· (gently) pins him against the locker and checks if neil is injured anywhere

· “you missed me”, neil says

· “203 percent.”

· “such a bad liar babe” (neil calls andrew babe in my world without being murdered shut up and let me live)

·  “yes or no

·  “yes.”

· and andrew kisses neil. cos yes he has missed neil. and he hates it. he doesn’t ‘miss’ people. hes the one who makes them disappear.

· and god neils kisses feel so fucking good.

· neither of them knows how long has passed since their lips touched

· they finally come up to breathe and neil smiles

· andrew wants to kill something. probably neil. cos how can someones smile make him feel this way?

· and neil rests his forehead against andrews and for once andrew doesn’t move away but just shuts his eyes

· a slight sound behind them

· andrews knives are out in a second

· and its the remaining seven

· all of them

· kevin is just standing there cos their relationship is not his business. aaron just leaves. renee is smiling cos shes an angel. nicky my boy has a hand over his heart and he looks like a proud father..allison holds her palm out for the money she just won and matt and dan are in shock.

· cos they’ve never seen andrew willingly touch, let alone kiss someone like this. they’ve never seen neil smile like that. they’ve never seen anyone, even kevin touch andrews hair.  

· but here they both are, doing the impossible

· and they’re still breathing (rather hard i might add)

· and andrew points his knives towards them

· and goes “if i ever hear a word about this every single one of you is fucking dead”

· and walks out.

Model Sessions (m)

“You’re such a masterpiece… a masterpiece I want to get a taste of.”

Synopsis: Your nude modeling portfolios are due in a few days and, with all your sketches an absolute mess, Namjoon offers to help; though, his idea of aiding your lack of skill is different that what you thought…

[cr.]

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader // artist!au

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 6.7k

Includes: Blowjobs & fingering ,’:^)

A/N: my friend and i had a talk abt her nude modeling portfolio, then with my thirst for joonie, this spiraled out

Keep reading

Write Like No One Will Read It


For the last few days, I’ve given myself some “time off” writing to get to some projects that are just for me, an essay and a short story I doubt I will ever publish but that I wanted to write because it was a chance for me to imagine a future I’d really like to see come to pass. And it has been really productive. One day I wrote about 7,000 words before noon. And I realized it was precisely because I was writing for myself that I was so productive.


When people ask me how to be more productive, they expect me to tell them about some special writing system I have or ways to organize your life better so that you use those fifteen minutes at the doctor’s waiting. I haven’t found that to be the way to become more productive. On the contrary, more pressure often does the reverse.

This is why some writers only write one book. It’s why the second book is so difficult for most of us (unless you’ve already got it written before the first one comes out and the pressure really starts). It’s why writers sometimes take decades between books. (Yes, I know it could be quality, too, but I suspect it’s fear.)

If you can figure out some trick to convince your mind that no one will ever read your book, that it’s just for you, that there’s no deadline, no fear of reviews, no worries about if it’s good enough, trust me, you will be amazed at the creativity that pours out of you.

Write like you’re a kid again.

Write like it’s a crime.

Write like it’s your journal.

Write like you’ve never been published.

Write like no one ever told you about comma splices.

Write like it’s your favorite decadent treat.

Write like it’s breath.

And it will be.

anonymous asked:

I am a bit new so my opinion isn't 100% firm about harry and Louis relationship yet and the biggest thing that makes me ??? is that I don't understand how it is possible that there is such a difference between their situation.. do you have any idea why Harry is able to seems detach from all the mess and not Louis? How is that possible? That one seems incredibly stuck in the worst stunts ever and the other one is pursuing his career free of all of that? Thank you :)

Hi anon,

Sorry– I forgot about this ask for a few days.

I guess your question might have been prompted by Harry’s appearance in NYC last week, with Jeff Azoff. He was rumored to be meeting with Columbia records re: his solo album.

The next day, The Daily Mail in the U.K. published an article stating as much, contrasting Harry’s beatific airport pap photos (and photos with stalkers) to Louis’s disastrous LAX arrest. Unsubstantiated slander of “woman-hitting,” emotionally volatile Louis was reiterated in this article. He was again painted as an unreliable father. All stories we’ve read before from U.K. tabloids associated with the Bauer Group, with ties to Simon Cowell.

Read more about this connection here:
http://bulletproofhalo.tumblr.com/post/158537313651/our-old-friend-bauer-media-group

I guess my line of answering is:

Harry hasn’t done anything to encourage this line of thinking. He literally has not given any statement on it. He has not given a statement about his solo album, either. It’s not because he is being coy–because he clearly is getting some blowback from fans about why he hasn’t said anything. Fans are curious and impatient. His image has suffered too.

And making a public statement, in the general public’s eyes, would only improve his image and increase his visibility. It benefits Harry to make a statement.

So why hasn’t he?

Why haven’t his managers at Full Stop? Why don’t they address industry rumors? Why are there so many leaks coming from Sony, including statements by Rob Stringer, while Harry’s team has said nothing? What is Sony’s objective in publicizing Harry if Harry does not confirm?

Alternatively, why has Louis’s team said nothing to refute his public image?

These allegations are clearly slanderous. Louis has not been tried in a court of law. No one has given sworn testimony. His arraignment date has not come to pass. Emotional states are purely speculative. No official statements have come from anyone quoted in the article. His image has suffered from false allegations (U.K. And U.S.A.).

So where is his team?

And, why are these two always tied? If they have been enemies for three or four years, why keep writing articles linking them?

They’ve been on hiatus for 15 months. If they really disliked each other so much, they should already have deleted each other from phone contacts, SM, etc. Why keep in touch with your enemy? I don’t store the contact information of people who hate me, anon, do you?

Their airport sightings literally HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER. They aren’t even on the same side of the country. What is the purpose of linking them?

If I knew nothing about One Direction, I would experience a cognitive dissonance from the way the article swerved so awkwardly from “angelic Harry” to “devilish Louis.” The purpose seems so transparent, it’s embarrassing.

Except for one glaring fact.

They DON’T hate each other.

The band united to support Louis during his X Factor performance.

They came together as one band to accept their Brits for best video 2016. @srslycris and @lawyerlarrie
have great posts about this.

They tweeted in unity to wish Harry a happy 23rd birthday.

As Harry’s has said, “Draw what you see.”

1. There are restrictions on their public statements.
2. The images are being manipulated.
3. Their relationship with each other is good.
4. None of the four remaining 1D band members have been allowed to be specific about their solo projects.
5. Louis has been photographed to write with songwriters from Warner Chapel. He may very well have a solo album in the works. They are all working hard.
6. They are fighting a silent, bts, very ugly and drawn-out fight.
7. Recording labels have a history of screwing artists over.

Believe in our boys. They are the same good people you fell in love with. They haven’t suddenly been blinded by fame. They want to make music for us, and they have been working toward that. Every event and every article doesn’t need to be dissected for whether Harry is defending Louis. Trust them.

The people manipulating their image want us to have doubts, to fight within the fandom. Not only that, they are trying to divide the band members themselves. For years, the boys have had psychological manipulation in the guise of “protecting the 1D brand,” down to the way they move, talk, dress, look at each other, answer certain questions. Zayn’s recent article in NY Times Sunday stated he had anxiety when he was in 1D. He had an eating disorder because he wanted “to have control over one thing.” Is that really a surprise?

It’s infuriating, what’s happening to Louis right now. But it’s temporary. It’s going to end. This abuse has an end clause. Art is long– Louis is young and he’s going to fight it, with the support of his boys.

Sorry I went off in such a tangent, but I wish we could see past these media games, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Let’s be smart in evaluating the data, and not be so easily manipulated.

Sea

Most reviewed fics (on ffnet):

As of March 2017

  1. Rebuilding by Colubrina - M, 300 chapters - Hermione Granger returns to Hogwarts to help rebuild the shattered castle the summer after the war. She and the other summer resident - and eventually their friends - have to come to terms with how the war broke more than just the walls of the building. Follows multiple Hogwarts students through ‘8th year’ and one additional year of early adulthood. COMPLETE.
  2. Isolation by Bex-chan - M, 48 chapters - He can’t leave the room. Her room. And it’s all the Order’s fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something’s going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. “There,” she spat. “Now your Blood’s filthy too!” DM/HG. PostHBP.
  3. Like Brothers by Colubrina - T, ABANDONED - Minerva McGonagall steps in on the awful night the Potter are killed and arranges to have Harry Potter raised by Sirius Black and his somewhat cousins, the Malfoys. Draco and Harry grow up as almost brothers and everything - everything - is different. Gryffindor!Draco. Dramione. AU. I WILL NEVER AGAIN UPDATE THIS.
  4. The Wrong Strain by Colubrina - T, WIP - Everyone knew what veela were. Veela were magical creatures, breathtakingly beautiful, who captivated men with a single look. It would have been nice to have been that strain. Instead, Hermione Granger was infected by another. Instead of captivating all men, she was captivated by one. She’d die without him. She was already in almost constant pain. DRAMIONE.
  5. Turncoat by elizayeM, 101 chapters - Switching sides. “I have only one condition, and I trust it won’t be hard for you to meet. I want Granger.” Rated M for sex/language/torture.
  6. The Prank War by CrazyGirl47 - T, ABANDONED - Now that Voldemort is dead, Harry and company are enjoying their last year of school by taking part in a timehonored Hogwarts tradition: the seventh year prank war. Edited and reposted. First brand new chapter now updated!
  7. The Bracelet by AkashaTheKitty - M, 103 chapters - Hermione has everything she could possibly want… Except a life. People are getting sick of her superior attitude, especially Draco Malfoy, who schemes to get her down, once and for all. And then there’s the thing with The Bracelet… 7th year AR. COMPLETE SINCE 2009 XD
  8. Parenting Class by IcyPanther -T, 38 chapters - Complete DHr & HG Sixth years at Hogwarts are now required to take a parenting class, what fun! Hermione, Draco, and Harry are paired up in which they’ll trade off being children. Can they live through the class or will being a parent prove too hard?
  9. Simply Irresistible by bookworm1993 - T, 30 chapters - Draco gave a cocky grin. “I am going to give you a makeover.” “I’m sorry what?” “You heard me Granger, I’m going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible.”
  10. Eros & Psyche by RZZMG - M, WIP - Draco challenges Harry and friends to play EROS & PSYCHE, a scandalous card game with a dark, mysterious history. It’s Slyth vs. Gryff, male vs. female, pride vs. desire in the ultimate game of hearts and amour! Pairings: Draco/Hermione,Blaise/Ginny,Ron/Pansy,Seamus/Lavender,Theo/Daphne,Harry/Tracey. AU 7th yr. Secrets, romance, angst, and sex await the turning of the first card…
  11. Presque Toujours Pur by ShayaLonnie - M, 38 chapters - Bellatrix’s torture of Hermione uncovers a long-kept secret. The young witch learns her true origins in a story that shows the beginning and end of the Wizarding wars as Hermione learns about her biological father and the blood magic he dabbled in that will control her future.
  12. The Bespoke Witch by glitterally - M, 80 chapters - Hermione is offered a war-stake by Dumbledore. She ignorantly accepts the beautiful scroll only to find she has thereby agreed to become Wife to the House of Malfoy. An on-the-go education by Minerva, Molly, and Astoria ensues as Hermione enters formal courtship by Draco and Lucius. Utterly absurd and a tad naughty. AU, OOC. Utter tripe.
  13. Broken by inadaze22 - M, 36 chapters - He felt something close to pity for the woman in front of him. And while that disturbed Draco to no end, what really disgusted him most of all was the harrowing fact that someone or something had broken Hermione Granger’s spirit beyond recognition.
  14. Hermione Malfoy by superscar - M, 20 chapters reviewsAt the request of Dumbledore, Hermione Granger marries Draco Malfoy. COMPLETED
  15. A Marriage Most Convenient by AnneM.Oliver - M, 54 chapters - Hermione lost it all when she divorced. Draco would lose it all by age 30 if he didn’t marry. Marriage to each other would be perfect, one would even say it was most convenient. Her daughter even looked like him, although, he wondered why that was.
  16. We Learned the Sea by luckei1 - T, 37 chapters - Draco Malfoy turns himself in after a very successful career as a Death Eater, then enlists Harry and Hermione to help him in a scheme to bring down the Dark Lord. DHr. A story of forgiveness.
  17. Revenge Is All The Sweeter by Twilight to Midnight - M, 24 chapters - A marriage law has come to pass; an unfaithful boyfriend has been caught and an enemy has been chosen. Draco and Hermione discover the fine line between love and hate. Won 2nd place at the Dramione awards for best Draco and best action/adventure!
  18. The Green Girl by Colubrina -T, 22 chapters - Hermione is sorted into Slytherin; how will things play out differently when the brains of the Golden Trio has different friends? AU. Darkish Dramione. COMPLETE.
  19. The Alkahest by Shadukiam - M, WIP - The Marriage Law, once enacted, has the power to destroy Hermione’s perfectly normal life. Luckily, she and Ron are already planning to obey the horrific law together as a team… Until a Malfoy-shaped wrench gets thrown into the works. Dramione. Cover by littleneko1923 (thank you!).
  20. Scales and a Tail by Halfling - M, ABANDONED - Unfinished. The Scales is a secret Slytherin society within Hogwarts. Its male only policy must change for an upcoming event, and Draco grudgingly recruits Hermione. This choice contributes to something more important than imagined.

blind from this sweet, sweet craving by missandrogyny (31k)

“So, I guess we’ll go?” Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind. We could make it an adventure.”

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He’s fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry’s gaze–he probably knows that Harry’s mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he’s not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he’s also Harry’s best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he’d still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He’s got Harry’s back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they’ll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. “We’re going,” he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

baby we could be enough (i’ll make this feel like home) by anyadisee (52k)

“Did you clean the table?” Harry asks Louis once Rose is done speaking, now occupied with trying to see if she can reach over and touch Harry’s hair from where she’s sat. At Louis’ nod, Harry frowns. “You didn’t have to do that. You’re my guests here, I could’ve dealt with it later.”

Louis just smiles easily, though, adjusting Rose on his lap so that she’s facing Harry better. She manages to tug on a loose wave of hair, and she makes a noise of triumph that both Louis and Harry smile at.

“I don’t mind,” Louis murmurs to Harry, even though he’s looking at Rose. “This one here seemed very excited to talk to you.”

And, okay. Harry can’t help but think of how domestic this feels, all of a sudden.

[harry is a photographer who’s trying to find his place. louis is a single father with a smile that feels like home.]

Keep reading

4

Why, hello there, my name is Andrew Ryan. I built the city of Rapture for children just like you, because the world above had become unfit for us. But here, beneath the ocean, it is natural to wonder if the danger has passed, if those we left behind will ever come to their senses. So, let us imagine, you and I, what might befall us… on the surface.

Richard Ramirez Quotes

“ Killing is killing whether done for duty, profit, or fun. ”

“ Nothing in existence holds any terror for me. When I was sentenced to death, it didn’t hold anything for me. ”

“ I gave up love and happiness a long time ago. ”

“ I don’t believe in the hypocritical, moralistic dogma of this so-called civilized society. ”

“ Everybody has got good and evil in them. I’d like to be 100% evil, but I can’t. I’m too easy-going sometimes. Then again, while anger and hate are two things some people can cope with, I cannot. My anger and hate grow to a level that I cannot live comfortably with it. ”

“ Going to the trial was very tiring for me, but I did enjoyed it better than sitting in a jail cell. That could be very monotonous. Did I enjoy it? Hmm. No, not particularly. I would have rather been on the beach or something. ”

“ Even psychopaths have emotions if you dig deep enough. Then again, maybe they don’t. ”

“ Evil has always existed, the perfect world most people seek shall never come to pass and it’s gonna get worse. ”

“ I don’t need to hear all of society’s rationalizations, I’ve heard them all before and the fact remains that what is, is. ”

“ Satanists need to have more faith than Christians, because Christ was seen and felt. Lucifer has never felt the need to be seen, but in everyone’s soul he can be felt. ”

“ We’ve all got the power in our hands to kill, but most people are afraid to use it. The ones who aren’t afraid, control life itself. ”

“ Serial killers do, on a small scale, what governments do on a large one. They are products of our times and these are bloodthirsty times. ”

“ What Satan means to me. Satan is a stabilizing force in my life. It gives me a reason to be; it gives me-an excuse to rationalize. There is a part of me that believes he really does exist. I have my doubts, but we all do, about many things. ”  

“ You maggots make me sick, I will be avenged. Lucifer dwells within us all. ”

“ You don’t understand me. You are not expected to. You are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience. I am beyond good and evil.  ”

Month Six

“Killian, I don’t care if you install a revolving wall of sex toys in our bedroom as long as I get to renovate the bathroom.”

Absolute Fluff. Because I have babies on the brain.

Rating: G.

Read on FF.Net here.

Killian lets out a tired sigh as he stands before the scene of the crime. Normally, coming home to find one’s wife in the tub would be a sight for delight. However, coming home to find one’s wife has passed-out in the tub, seemingly in-between bathing rituals, is slightly concerning.

Especially since it’s the third time this month.

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Percabeth Headcanon: Tired

(Happy Valentine’s Day guys! Whether you have a Valentine or not, I hope you have an excellent day! Here’s from Percabeth Tired for you :P)

  • When Annabeth comes home, tired from a long day, she’ll find Percy and move into his lap, napping curled up against him as he easily continued to do his work.
  • The couple was suppose to join their friends for a late night get together. It was around 2 in the morning when they woke up on a bus, leaning against one another. They fell asleep on the way there, riding around for hours. The bus driver didn’t have the heart to wake them up.
  • Annabeth is the first person who can tell if Percy is tired, even if he insists he’s perfectly fine.
  • Both Percy and Annabeth have a habit of squinting when tired, Annabeth out of an almost unclear confusion, and Percy out of sheer annoyance.
  • Percy has come home many times to find Annabeth completely passed out on their couch, a book falling off her lap and her mouth just barely open, her head propped against the arm rest.
  • Annabeth doesn’t allow Percy to use any electronic items in the morning around the kitchen until he can at least form one completely coherent sentence.
  • Percy grows very quiet when he’s tired, answering most of Annabeth’s questions with a nod or shake of his head.
  • Whoever doesn’t get in the shower first has to make the coffee for the day. Percy is almost always left to the task of making coffee.
  • Annabeth can take twenty minute naps and feel completely refreshed. Not a single one of Percy’s naps are less then an hour.
  • One day, both demigods came home completely worn out. Annabeth found Percy totally asleep on the carpet right out side of their bedroom. Instead of even attempting to move him, Annabeth simple grabbed their blanket from their bed and joined him on the floor.
Too Strong

REQUEST by IMPOSSIBLYLUCKYVXI: Can I have one where Ro meets YN a journalist at a press junket for Fastlane. He immediately wants her but she runs from him because she thinks she isn’t good enough for him since she’s a average girl. Months go by since their encounter & he still wants her & she wants him too but can’t get over their career differences. One night she has to go a live Raw show to right a story & she sees him again. He corners her this time & gets mad possessive & sexy. End it how you’d like. Thanks 😍😘.

Warnings: Smut, language
(A/N): I’m so sorry it took so long guys. To make it up to y’all, I made it longer than I planned it to be. I also loved writing this one, so I hope you guys enjoy it! Feedback is always welcome😌

——————–

‘’You ready?’’ my best friend and colleague asked me, ‘’In a few minutes, you’ll be interviewing Roman fucking Reigns.’’

‘’Calm down girl, as much as I adore the man, I have to stay professional,’’ I chuckled as I took a sip of my water, ‘’I’m nervous though; he’s competing against Braun Strowman and he’s a monster, I wonder what his strategy is for tonight.’’

‘’Yeah, I agree. I’m curious too now you mentioned it,’’ she turned around and smirked, ‘’Why don’t you ask him yourself?’’

‘’Wait what?’’ I looked at her confused as she walked off. I honestly had no idea what she was talking about, so I turned to the paper with questions that was given to me. Fastlane was tonight and I was chosen to interview few of the WWE superstars who were having their matches. The perks or being an journalist is that you get to see so many different places and people, situations that you’ll always remember.

‘’This is probably the first time someone hasn’t notice me sitting next to them,’’ a low heavy voice said, making me look up surprisingly. ‘’There she is,’’ he chuckled, ‘’you’re the one who’s interviewing me, am I right?’’

‘’Oh my god, I’m so sorry Mr. Reigns,’’ I said embarrassed, ‘’and that’s right, here she is.’’

‘’It’s Roman, sugar,’’ He smiled, making me melt right away, ‘’Mr. Reigns sounds so old.’’

‘’Alright then, Roman, you ready for your interview?’’ I asked, trying hard to hide my nerves. This man is gorgeous, how can anyone act normal around him?

‘’I’m more than ready,’’ he raised an eyebrow as he looked at my chest, ‘’y/n. Oh don’t worry, I ain’t a man like that, I’m a decent guy.’’ He chuckled, making me laugh.

‘’That’s good to know,’’ I smiled and stood up, ‘’Let’s get started then.’’

‘’We can’t talk some more?’’ He asked pouting his lips. ‘’I mean, we gotta do the interview, but I’d like to get to know the beautiful woman who will be asking the questions.’’

‘’I bet you say that to every woman who is about to interview you,’’ I chuckled. He stood up and walked over to where I was standing and took my hand in his.

‘’I only say it when I mean it, babygirl,’’ Roman smiled as his hand caressed my cheek. Looking him in the eye, I felt butterflies. ‘’And actually, it’s the first time I told someone.’’ He whispered, making me smile. ‘’So what do you say? Wanna talk some more now, or after my match?’’

‘’I think we have to get started if you wanna be on time for your match,’’ I hastily answered as I took the papers from the table and made my way to the interview corner. ‘Did you really had to respond like that, you idiot?’ I thought to myself. I could hear Roman chuckling from behind me.

‘’Alright then, but after my match, which I will win without a doubt, I insist you going to grab something to eat with me.’’

‘’So that’s a bet?’’ I frowned, slightly smiling. He nodded, already convinced he was going to win. Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe he will win, but Braun doesn’t know what mercy is. I’ve seen how the man literally throws people around and I can’t even imagine the agony that’s caused by that.

‘’If that’s what you wanna call it, then that’s a yes.’’ He smiled as he stood where he had to stand.

‘’I’m not sure, we’ll see.’’ I answered him as I saw the camera man coming our way. ‘’Right now, let’s do this interview.’’

‘’Whatever you say, love.’’

——————-

After the interview, I kind of started to avoid Roman. Even though I desired to be with him, I wasn’t going to give myself any form of false hope. He kept trying to talk to me, but I pretended to be really busy with the aftercare of the interview and my trip back. At some point, he went to prepare for his match, leaving me alone.

‘’He really likes you,’’ A familiar male voice said, making me turn around. Seth was standing there with his crutches and a big grin. ‘’You’re all he talks about at the moment.’’

‘’Nice to see you too, Seth.’’ I rolled my eyes and let out a small chuckle. ‘’I’m only here for the interview, which we finished, so there’s no need for me to be here anymore,’’ I lied.

‘’Y/n, be honest with me.’’ Seth said seriously as he sat down next to me. We’d known each other for quite some time; I had to interview him for a magazine a while ago and we kept in touch ever since.

‘’I am being honest,’’ I said as I looked at the screen where Fastlane was going on. ‘’Shouldn’t you be backstage?’’

‘’Not really no.’’ He chuckled as he signed to his knee.

‘’Oh yeah, you’re right, my bad.’’ I laughed.

‘’So why don’t you just tell me what’s the matter? I’ve seen how you’re cutting him off, why was that?’’

‘’I wasn’t cutting him off, alright.’’ I sighed, looking at Roman who came out with a whole new gear. New sneakers, the black and white logo, he looked incredible. ‘’Why is he interested in me while I’m average? There are so many beautiful woman around him.’’ I thought out loud. Next to me, I could feel Seth frown. ‘’What I’m trying to say is, we’re just not meant to be.’’

‘’You and average? Y/n, please. You know damn well that that’s a lie, quite a big one too.’’

‘’Thanks Seth,’’ I smiled as I stood up and grabbed my bag, ‘’But I gotta go. Tell Roman I owe him a victory drink.’’ I gave him a hug and looked at his knee, chuckling, ‘’Take care of that and come back asap.’’

——————-

A little more than a month has passed and I couldn’t get Roman out of my head for some reason. Seth called me a couple of times, saying that Roman wanted to meet up with me, but I said that I was busy. It was half of the truth, because I was truly busy at some moments, but at other times, when I had nothing to do, I still didn’t want to meet up with him. Not that I didn’t want to, I wanted it more than anything, but I just couldn’t. ‘He really likes you’, Seth’s words still roamed through my mind, making it seem like more of a dream that I really met Roman in the first place. How can he like a girl like me; average looking, average personality, everything was average about me.

As I was sitting downstairs, I got a phone call of my boss, saying that I had to attend RAW. My heart skipped a beat, knowing I would see Roman after all this time. I have no idea how he’s gonna react on me not contacting him back, but I was planning to just do what I came for and leave. I grabbed my stuff and left the house, on my way to the arena. When I arrived, Seth welcomed me with open arms, constantly telling me how happy he was to see me and that his knee was doing so much better.

‘’Someone wanted to see you,’’ Seth began as we got backstage, ‘’I probably don’t have to tell you who I’m talking about.’’

‘’I figured,’’ I sighed as I looked in my bag if I had everything with me;  paper, pen and my phone, ‘’but I’m here to do my job, same goes for you guys.’’

‘’Whatever you say y/n,’’ he chuckled, ‘’I’m heading to the dressing rooms, you coming along?’’

‘’I have to go to the restroom first, I’ll find you eventually.’’ I answered as I gave him a smile. Just as I was probably one meter away from where I was first standing, someone pulled me aside. ‘’Jesus, what the hell-‘’

‘’Y/n, calm down,’’ Roman chuckled.

‘’Oh my god, I’m sorry.’’ I covered my face with my hands, totally embarrassed. ‘’How are you doing?’’ I asked, hoping he would answer my question normally.

‘’Better now I have you for myself for a moment,’’ he murmured as he pushed me against the wall, his body pressing against mine, ‘’you thought you could just ignore me huh?’’

‘’I-I didn’t mean to…’’ I stammered, completely caught off guard.

‘’Of course you didn’t mean to,’’ his hand ran through my hair as the other found my ass, squeezing it tightly, ‘’after my match tonight, you’re coming with me to my hotel and I’ll show you what happens when you ignore me on purpose.’’ He whispered next to my ear, making me shiver.

‘’I c-can’t Roman, there’s so much I…’’ I couldn’t finish my sentence as he pressed his soft lips against mine. I kissed him back, not wanting him to stop.

‘’I assume that’s a yes?’’

‘’I guess so,’’ I whispered, making him smile.

‘’Room 209, I’ll be waiting for you baby,’’ Roman smirked as he walked away, leaving me standing there; turned on and speechless. I took a deep breath and continued my way to the restroom.

——————-

I stood in front of Roman’s room, not knowing if I should knock on the door or not. After what must’ve been two minutes, decided to just knock. Fuck it. He opened it, looking relieved as he saw me. ‘’You came,’’ he said. I could make up a sense of disbelieve in his voice, but I wasn’t questioning it further, ‘’come in.’’ he stepped aside, making room for me to walk inside his suite. It was huge and everything looked beautiful. ‘’I can’t tell you how happy I am that you showed up.’’

‘’I didn’t really have much of a choice,’’ I chuckled as I turned around, facing him.

‘’You always have a choice,’’ he replied, closing the door behind him. ‘’The moment I realized you didn’t want to meet up kinda hurt me.’’

‘’That was not my intention, I’m sorry.’’ I said, feeling a sense of guilt flushing over me. ‘’It was not that I didn’t want to, I wanted it so bad.’’

‘’Then what stopped you?’’ He asked as he stepped closer to me and grabbed my bag, throwing it in the chair next to the queen-size bed.

‘’Thoughts.’’

‘’What thoughts?’’ Roman asked as his hands caressed my cheek, moving down to my hips.

‘’Of not being good enough for you.’’ I whispered. His eyes widened, grip on my waist tightens.

‘’Not being good enough for me? Babygirl, look at you, you’re flawless.’’ He said, making me bite down on my bottom lip. As I did, his whole body language changed, so did his eyes and facial expression. Anger, need, want, lust was what I could feel. ‘’So you thought you were getting away with this?’’

‘’With w-what?’’ I asked as he started to place sloppy kisses on the side of my neck. My whole body tensed as he continued.

‘’Ignoring me,’’ he whispered. Roman lifted me up and his lips hungrily found mine. My arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. ‘’You’re not getting away with it so easily, babygirl.’’ He angrily, but seductively said as he roughly lied me down on the bed. He got rid of his black t-shirt and towered over me. ‘’Take it all off,’’ his dark eyes burning through me, making me obey him without saying a word. While I took my clothes off, he did the same, leaving him only in his boxers. My breathing became heavier as his hand found the thin material of my panties, rubbing slowly. I let out a quiet moan, making Roman smile against my neck. ‘’You’re soaked baby, all for me?’’

‘’All for you Roman,’’ I finally spoke

‘’God you’re such a goddess,’’ he mumbled as he looked at my naked body, his eyes never left mine. I’ve never been more turned on in my life.

‘’Roman please,’’ I breathed, wanting to touch me more.

‘’I want you to stay quiet, don’t say a word, or all of this will be over,’’ he whispered sternly, ‘’You understand?’’

‘’I understand.’’

‘’Good girl. Now lay still for me.’’ He started to nibble on my neck, index finger slowly circling my clit. Two fingers pushed inside of me exaggeratingly slow, making me arch my back. I gasped as he slowly picked up speed and placed sloppy kisses on my collarbone. ‘’Feels good baby?’’ He whispered. The only thing I could do was nod since he demanded me to stay quiet. He grinned against my thigh.

‘’Roman please,’’ I pleaded, breaking his rule. I just couldn’t stand staying muted any longer even though it hasn’t been that long since he asked me to.

‘’I thought I told you to stay quiet,’’ he frowned and as punishment, he slid his fingers deeper, keeping them there. I bit my lip hard, trying not to make a sound. Suddenly, I felt something wet circling my clit slowly. I looked down, finding Roman staring back at me, pure lust and hunger in his eyes. He moaned against me, vibrations almost pushing me over the edge. ‘’You’re not cumming until I say so,’’ he huffed as he pulled his fingers out of me, taking one last lick at my pussy and licked his lips as he kissed his way back up. ‘’I’ll show you what happens when you ignore me,’’ he growled as he kissed me. Desperately kissing him back, my arms wrapped around his neck. I felt the tip against my entrance but before I could savior the feeling, he roughly pushed inside of me. At this point, I didn’t care if I made a sound, it just felt too good. Roman seemed to forget about his own rule as he continued to thrust.

‘’Oh fuck Roman!’’ I cried out. He sped up, his large hands wrapped around my waist.

‘’Tell me how good I’m making you feel,’’ he breathed. The intense pleasure he was giving me, made me feel dizzy. I tried to answer him, but I couldn’t collect the words to make a proper sentence. ‘’I’m waiting,’’ he rubbed my clit fast but gentle.

‘’You’re m-making me feel s-so good oh my god,’’ I moaned into his mouth.

‘’Promise me you won’t ever ignore me again,’’ he said, looking me straight into my eyes.

‘’I p-promise,’’ I shakily said.

‘’What do you promise?’’

‘’I promise n-not to i-ignore you a-again,’’ I whimpered as he hit my g-spot.

‘’Good girl,’’ he smirked as he bit down my lower lip, making me shiver. In a split second, I was lying on my stomach, his dick buried inside of me again, hair in his tight grip. His thrust became rougher.

‘’Fucking hell Roman,’’ I let out a muffled moan as I grabbed the silky sheets.

‘’You’re fucking beautiful,’’ he grunted. ‘’Ah damn baby, that’s it.’’

‘’Roman please.’’

‘’Please what huh?’’ He knew exactly what I wanted as he stated to rub my clit again roughly. But he was passionate too; placing soft kisses on my burning shoulders, rubbing my waist. ‘’You want me to make you cum?’’

‘’Yes please,’’ I begged, ‘’Please Roman, can I cum?’’ The familiar heat began to pool in my lower abdomen. He chuckled and yanked me up by my hair, my back glued to his sweaty chest.

‘’You can cum now babygirl, let me feel you soak my dick,’’ his husky voice whispered in my ear, still rubbing my clit. My walls started to clench around him, making him groan out loud. ‘’Christ y/n you feel so good,’’ Roman moaned. As he licked my neck, I closed my eyes, moaning his name. My orgasm washed over me and if he hadn’t hold me, I would’ve collapsed. I felt him throb inside of me as he continued to thrust. ‘’Shittt,’’ he hissed as I felt him release inside of me.

——————–

‘’I’m sorry if I was too rough,’’ Roman apologized. We were lying under the covers, TV on but I don’t think either of us was actually watching.

‘’I’m sorry for ignoring you,’’ I said, looking up at him. He grinned as he wrapped his arm around me, kissing me on the head.

‘’You’re mine now y/n, there was a reason why the universe brought us together again, Our love is just too strong,’’ he quietly said, making me smile. I looked up, finding him half asleep.

‘’I’m not going anywhere Roman.’’ I kissed his lips and put my head back on his chest.

“I want this to be a letter to myself on my bad days. when it feels numb, when you are drowning in the sadness, when it feels like you can’t go on anymore. Remember all you have overcome and all you have to live for. all you want to accomplish.the lives you want to change. remember leusner, maddie, and your sister. the 3 people who will always be family. remember all the nights you thought about ending it, and remember all the mornings you woke up. even when you didn’t think you could. remember that whats coming is better than what has passed. remember that you are stronger than this feeling. you have beaten depression everyday for 6 years because you are alive. even if you are not yet living. you are here and that is worth something. hang on to that. hang on to your good days. and if it ever becomes too much it is not failure to ask for help. remember to stay alive for the little boy in the backseat. you are alive, stay that way.”