‘Why did you fall for him?’
I’ve never been able to answer this question and I wonder if I ever will be. The only thing I know is that I spent years not knowing him and one day he just was there.
I still remember him, just sitting there on a wooden picnic table, I still remember him looking up at me, I still remember the look in his eyes, I still remember the feeling I had. Both were pure, clean because nothing had happened yet.
There we were on that chilly spring morning, not yet knowing how we would change each other’s lives.
'Why do you still love him?’
How will I ever be able to answer? I just do. He’s such a big part of my life, I can’t imagine it without him. No, there hasn’t been an easy moment ever since I met him and yes, at times it hurts, a lot.
But I guess I just live for him, for the signature grins I get from him, for the way he calls my name, for the sparkle in his eyes when I make him laugh. For the way he can still make me stutter after 5 years and for the princess-like feeling he can give me.
I know everyone tells me to let him go. And I get why. Perhaps I could let him go if I only met him a few months ago, but he has marked too many memories, predominated too many years. He’s the only thing in my life that never changes.
ok but lena has literally never had anyone in her corner before like you know she spent the whole night smiling and hugging her pillow ok she doesn’t know what to do or how to handle this she just knows she really really likes Kara and Kara believes in her??? God Kara is gonna have food being delivered to her 24/7 Lena’s gonna hire a personal driver to pick Kara up because she knows Kara doesn’t have a car and Kara is too awkward and polite to decline so she has to skillfully ditch her driver when supergirl is needed ok Kara is gonna call Lena and be like, “Hey Lena could you-” and Lena’s already gonna be halfway out the door shouting “I’M ON MY WAY”
I love forehead kisses like. There are so many forehead kisses? FOREHEAD KISSES WITH NEWT WOULD LITERALLY KILL ME. I feel like he’s a Forehead kiss sort of guy.
“I won’t be too long.” Newt’s voice was on the lighter side this morning, almost as if the way the sun peaked into the room gave him a complete and utter sense of tranquility. Giving a rather warm peck to your forehead, he tucks back some of your hair before resting his case on the ground and opening it. It’s a fluid action, and he moves rather smoothly and you found yourself almost fixated on the way his hands moved around his case. Skillful action, he’s done it a thousand times, maybe even more. Attention is drawn back to his entirety as he takes a step into the case. He looks back at you momentarily, his eyes locking with yours. Lets his gaze linger on you for a few seconds more before disappearing into the case you felt your breathing regulate. Moments like that, with a sort of eclectic rush and painted movement given by Newt always left you breathless.
An equivalent to the forehead kiss of “I’m late for work, kiss for you, and out the door”.
A lot easier than saying “bye”, something Newt doesn’t particularly enjoy. Goodbye’s, whether long term or short term, are goodbye nonetheless.
Instances where the two of you are sharing a bed, or simply cuddling there is a lot of embracing one another. He’ll tuck some of your hair away from your face, gazing down at you. From the position he’s in, he can’t clearly see your expression but given the chance to guess, Newt figured you were content in his arms. Craning his head down, he kisses the side of your head and presses his face into your hair. His skin tickles yours. Newt senses you smile before it turned into a soft chuckle. He holds you tighter, but not uncomfortably so. There’s something tender and warm about holding another person so close, about feeling their heart beating under your fingertips. It’s a raw sensation, stripped to the very center of the emotion running wild in both your minds.
Occasions where you feel completely helpless and find yourself leaning against his body in search of some sort of security. He smells like his case. Not awful, but more homely and more nurturing than anything else. A sublime mixture of tea, herbal medicine and strangely enough, fresh dirt from a far away in the countryside. The sudden defenselessness you were exhibiting set off alarms in his mind, and with feathery movement, Newt wraps his arms around you. Your knees finally give way after finding support and your face digs itself further into his peacock colored jacket. You smelt something else now, something that always helped you calm down. Newt had a certain scent that you hadn’t been able to describe, and the closest you came to describing it was as ‘A farm in the early morning. It’s quiet, there’s work to be done, and there’s only so much time in the day to get it done.’ You know it’s not a smell, but there’s almost a distant memory associated with it.
Unbeknownst to you, Newt is feeling equally as helpless at the moment. You’re in his arms, crumbling so it seems and he’s no way of telling why you’re so melancholy. He takes a deep breath in and does what he thinks it right, a sort of instinct he always possessed. Kissing your hairline ever so gently, he spoke in a soothing tone, “It’s alright, I’ve got you…” He knows you’ll talk to him when you’re ready to be heard. But for right now, this was what you needed.
Newt having different sort of forehead kisses. The kind that aren’t completely center, and lean more towards the right or left. Usually happens when he’s in a hurry and leaves you with an unexpected forehead peck.
Kisses directly above your eyebrow. You’re both laying down, the sun hasn’t even risen yet and there’s almost a dreary sense of doom impending because you do not want to get out of the warm bed. Newt has only been awake for a couple minutes, still trying to process waking up. He knows you’re beside him. Without opening his eyes, he leans over and puckers his lips. The kiss hands directly above your right eyebrow. His lips curl against your skin as he pulls you closer. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.
Kisses that land more on the side of your head. A mindless, affectionate action. Happens with he’s not paying complete attention and his mind is somewhere else.
Attentive forehead kisses. Newt’s fingers are cupped on your jawline to keep you in place. His beautiful green eyes are staring right into yours. In the lighting, you can see his pupils dilating, you could almost count the freckles that lined his cheeks, and you could see the different colors swirling in his eyes. They weren’t completely green and seemed to hold hues of yellow and maybe even gold. Newt’s that close to you. Biting his bottom lip, he seems to be contemplating what to do before bending your head down slightly and craning his down to give you a gentle kiss to your forehead. The motion says, “I love you, you know that.“ You raise your hands to place them on his before stepping forward. You kiss him gently, lips pressing in the slightest to tell him that you love him too.
I expected to write more but darn these are actually pretty long lmao. Thank you for reading! Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Stay tuned for more Newt Scamander + other FBAWTFT fics!
do you ever just listen to whatsername and then feel your heart breaking in a million different ways because HOW THE HELL did green day manage to make a single song so nostalgic and hauntingly depressing…….and despite the fact that i have literally never gone through the experiences being sung about in that song you can bet your ass that within those 4 minutes and 12 seconds i will be crying over my nostalgic relationship and breakup with whatsername that literally did not happen ever
The more room you give yourself to express your true thoughts and feelings, the more room there is for your wisdom to emerge. - Marianne Williamson ✨
I’ve been having so many issues with expressing my true feelings and it’s been eating me up inside. My mood would change and even affect other people. I hate it so much. My past has made me this way. I was always around people who would tell me I’m too emotional and didn’t care about my feelings at all. I’m learning to understand that now I’m finally friends with people who actually are sensitive to my emotions and care about how I feel. Im learning to express how I feel instead of bottling up inside because I never want to hurt the people who actually care about me. Everyday is a new step. Just believe in yourself and everything will be fine. I promise ❤
Did this with number 1 from those post break up prompts I reblogged a few days back!
Character A is on their way to sell the engagement ring they once bough for Character B (but the never got to propose) when they run into Character B again.
Wolfstar of course :)
Sirius wished the universe had at least had the decency to make it a cloudy, dreary, possibly miserable but that might be taking it a bit far, day. If this was what it had led him too, it was the least it could do, really.
He stared at the blue sky through the small front window of James and Lily’s flat, then back down at the small, velvet box in his hand. His thumb was poised to open it, nail in the soft crease between the top and bottom… and he couldn’t. He couldn’t. If he saw it again he’d never get rid of it. And it was of no use to him. Not anymore. He’d spent enough hours staring at it, the gold rim, the small inside engraving. It had promised him everything and, now that everything had been lost, it was just a heart breaking reminder. It was worthless. He knew this. But he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see it sitting there, cold in the box still. It should be with him. A sudden image of Remus kissing him, palms to his cheeks, and feeling the cool pressure of the ring on his left flooded through his mind. He pushed it away with difficulty.
He shoved the box into his pocket, grabbing a jumper from the back of the couch and pulling it roughly over his head while calling to James.
“Okay!” A beat, and then, “Actually, wait, wait!”
Sirius turned from the direction of the door as James appeared in the kitchen doorway, tea in hand. His other rubbed the back of his neck.
“Are you, um…” He coughed, eyes flicking down to Sirius’ hands, searching, “Are you going…”
“Yeah.” Sirius said too quickly. He cleared his throat, “Yeah, and?”
James shook his head a little, shrugging and bringing his tea to his lips, “Nothing. Nothing, alright. Right…”
He shuffled his feet a little and Sirius rolled his eyes, “I’m fine,” He definitely wasn’t fine, “I’ll be back in a bit, yeah?”
James didn’t look any more at ease but he nodded, “Yeah.”
The day felt just as nice as it looked and Sirius scowled at the sun, defiantly putting his hood up and his head down.
The feeling of the box knocking against his thigh with every step was excruciating, a constant reminder of what he was about to do.
It should be with him.
His feet felt heavier with every step, every bump, and he found himself staring at the lump in his pocket. He clenched his fists tighter and tighter at his sides until his nails felt like pin pricks and the box felt like a scorching iron across his skin.
“Fucking hell-“ He dug it out of his pocket roughly, just as he collided with something— someone. Sirius’ head knocked right into a rather bony shoulder making his swear again, only to have the word mix with another curse.
“Shit, sorry, didn’t see.. you.. oh.”
Sirius’ heart started thrumming painfully in his chest. Remus straightened up in front of him.
Sirius went straight back to cursing the universe. Not now. God, please not today.
Sirius just stood there, unable to open his mouth. Remus looked… thin. His hair fell in messy curls over his forehead, as apposed to the usual neat swoop to the side. Really, Sirius couldn’t stop looking at his eyes. They were rimmed with soft purple, and as golden as ever. He thought he might drop to his knees, right there in the middle of the sidewalk, under the weight of the sheer longing that was coating his heart.
Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times before, “It’s a bit hot for a hood.”
Sirius blinked because what? “Wh- What?”
Remus’ cheeks flushed, “I- I don’t know why I said that. But- I- don’t you think?”
Sirius stared a moment more, then slowly raised his hand, swiping his hood from his head, “Right. The sun was just feeling a bit too…” He shook his head, still caught too off guard by how—normal—this conversation sounded.
Remus just nodded distractedly, eyes suddenly not on Sirius’, but trained on Sirius’ hand that was still resting on Sirius’ shoulder from removing his hood. He looked uneasy, panicked even.
Sirius watched as he swallowed thickly, voice coming out horse, “Meeting someone?”
Sirius knit his brows, cocking his head slightly at the sudden question, and the look crossing Remus’ face. How could I be meeting someone when that look is out there somewhere needing someone to kiss it away?
“No. ‘m not, why?”
When Remus’ eyes didn’t move to his, Sirius followed his gaze. His stomach dropped at what he found on the other end. The small, velvet box was still grasped in his hand. In plain sight.
“I- Oh. Fuck, no-” He realized what this must look like to Remus and it only made his heart tighten further. The mere thought that Remus could have it in his head that Sirius would ever, ever be with anyone else right now drove a knife in and twisted it, “No, Re- Remus,” Sirius corrected himself quickly at the way Remus winced.
“It’s fine.” Remus mumbled, “I- I don’t know why I asked. I guess I just…” He trailed off, “Dunno.”
Sirius’ mind whirled, desperately trying to find some lie to tell. He definitely wasn’t about to give Remus the truth, not with the way he wouldn’t even look at him.
“I- This is- I mean, I bought this for— these.” He corrected himself as a thought formed in his head, “I’m going to sell. This is- these are… cuff links. For James’ birthday. He- He didn’t like them.”
Remus’s eyes, which had still been fixed on the box, found Sirius’, “Oh.”
Sirius, gripped the box tightly in his palms, thumb, out of habit, wedging the opening but unwilling to follow through, “Y-Yeah.”
Remus’s expression suddenly changed. His eyes shifted from glazed over, and seemed to fill with a flicker of… something.
“Sirius…” Remus took a step forward.
Sirius’ eyes nearly closed at the way Remus said his name. Like he used to.
“Yeah…” Sirius breathed.
Remus’ eyes flit over his face as he stares down at him, “James’ birthday is in March.”
“I..” Fuck. “Yeah. It is.”
Sirius closed his eyes, taking in the close proximity of Remus’ presence and being silently furious with himself at the same time, “Yeah.” He sighed, defeated, “It is.”
Remus’ voice came out soft, “Can I see?”
Sirius’ eyes flashed back to the pools of bronze, panicked, “They’re really not much. Pretty plain. I mean-“ You never saw it. You didn’t want it. “They aren’t- It doesn’t really matter. He didn’t want them.”
Remus cocked his head, “How do you know?”
“Because he kind left before I could give them to y- him.” Sirius sighed, feeling heat bubble in his chest. He wasn’t sure what emotion it was, there were too many flowing through him.
Remus’ brow furrowed, “Well if you had stopped him maybe you could have foundout. Let me see.”
Sirius flushed. They definitely weren’t talking about James anymore. “How was I suppose to know he wanted to be stopped?”
“Of course I wanted to be stopped!”
The silence that followed left what little space there was between them now heavy with Remus’ words. They were both breathing hard. Remus’ hand had somehow made its way over Sirius’ on the box. Sirius was burning at the touch.
Remus closed his eyes, letting a breath out through his nose, “Of course I wanted to be stopped.” He repeated.
Sirius stared at him, the crease between his eyebrows, the frown on his mouth, the tightness of his jaw. He swallowed hard, voice coming out shaky, “You can’t expect me to know that, that’s- that isn’t fair. You were so.. You were so angry with me, I thought-”
Remus opened his eyes, fixing them on the ground. The sun cast eyelash shadows on his cheeks. He looked more tired and thin than he had when they started. He shook his head, “No, it isn’t fair.”
Sirius’ heart tugged when Remus let his hand slip away.
Remus still wouldn’t look at him, “‘m sorry, I… I don’t know.”
He turned, carefully avoiding brushing against Sirius again, and started to walk away. Sirius reeled at the loss of contact, the sudden empty space in front of him. He was thrown back in time, standing in their old flat. He was staring into Remus’ tear stricken face one moment and was hearing the door slam the next. There was a velvet box in his pocket and he was very, very alone.
Not again. He decided. Not again.
Sirius turned at the same time Remus did, eyes meeting. He was sure his looked wild. Remus’ looked just as untamed. He tried to slow his breathing, fingers tightening around the box.
He took a step forward.
“It isn’t cufflinks.”
Remus let out a breath, “No?”
“No.” He took another step, slowly closing the distance between them, “It’s-“ His eyes flitted over Remus’ face, hating ever worry marked there, every frown, each tired rim around his eyes, “God. It’s what I should have stopped you with.”
“You couldn’t have known-“
“I should have known.” He took the final step, thumb finally flicking the box open, “I should have let you know how much I…” He didn’t look down at the ring. Instead, he watched Remus’ eyes widen, he watched his lips part. He watched what he had wished he had watched for months. What he could watch for years. Remus’ eyes went back to his and they were glassy. He looked so tired. Sirius needed to fix it.
“Re..” Remus’ brows knit, eyes shutting at the nickname. He let out a soft noise when he felt Sirius’ hand on his cheek, holding him together.
“Re, I should’ve know. I- I know now, okay?” He ducked his head a little, desperately needed Remus to look at him, “Please, Re-“
But Remus was kissing him, hands on Sirius’ cheeks, a few tears on his own. And Sirius was melting, nearly dropping the box, the ring, as his arms made their way around Remus’ waist.
He closed the box as he kissed Remus. He had a lifetime to give him that ring. He needed this now, they needed this now. He slipped it into Remus’ back pocket, causing him to let out a watery laugh against his lips, and smiled as he wound his fingers in Remus’ hair, pulling their mouths back together.
And with Remus against him, laughing into his kiss, Sirius thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad the sun was out today after all.
Y’all, I am LOVIN this show so far. I’ve just binged what’s on Hulu at this point (episodes 1
3) and OHHH, it’s got so much fun and so many feels!!! If you like female-driven narratives, the 18th century, delightful costumes, a great cast (many of whom you might recognize from other shows), and opulent splendor mixed in with gritty squalor, you might just find that you love it, too. Let me share with you but a few of the delights it has in store:
First and foremost, it’s about, and from the perspective of, women.
Almost the entire main cast is female, and the entire show is just about WOMEN – of all ages and stripes – and their struggle to find/maintain/balance their independence, security, and happiness. And yes, the main conflict involves women pitted against one other, but there’s also so much of women SUPPORTING one another and CARING about one another and LAUGHING and MOURNING and just being HUMANS. Eating, drinking, dancing, sweating, farting, hugging, crying, bitching, whining, hurting, comforting, teasing, yearning, complicated humans.
It’s also created, written, and directed by women, and I do think that’s informed how it handles the characters & narrative. Not gonna lie; when I first heard about this show, all I could think of was how gross this premise could be in the wrong hands (male or female). I worried that it would be trashy and exploitative and superficial. But it’s not. Even sensitive material – implied/mentioned sexual assault – is handled deftly and compassionately, focusing always on the victim’s trauma/well-being rather than on any “shock value” attached to the (off-screen) act itself. The sex workers may be objectified and demonized by some other characters, but they are never treated that way by the narrative itself.
And the harlots are all so interesting! Even the background ones have distinct personalities (and a surprising amount of sexual tension with the local moralizer’s daughter). The Wells ladies – mama and daughters, pictured above – are my particular faves.
Other favorite characters include Will North, gentle brothel dad and the only good man in London…
Nancy Birch, who dresses like a highwayman, wields a sick-ass whip, and pushes me a little closer to 6 on the Kinsey scale every time I see her jawline…
And Thomas Haxby, The Saltiest Man On Earth.
“I don’t think you’re a dog at all, Mr. Haxby,” one character summarizes aptly:“I think you’re a bitch.”
He’s such a scheming little viper and I LOVE IT.
Naturally, given the subject matter, there’s a good amount of female nudity. But if your tastes run to more masculine delights, don’t worry – the boys know how to put on a show, too!
Even the title sequence has wormed its way into my heart, by virtue of appealing to my appreciation for three of life’s greatest gifts: bold typography, old-timey engravings, and butts.
Not to mention that – as you can probably tell from these caps – Harlots avoids the overly dark and muted palette that too many period dramas feel is necessary in order to telegraph to the audience that we are looking back through The Sepia Mists of Time. Costumes and sets alike are colorful and fun. Garish, sometimes, in that late-18th-century way – but if, like me, you have a certain fondness for men wearing powder and rouge, that’s not a bad thing at all!
So if a grimy-yet-gorgeous show about ladies trying to carve out their fair share in life sounds like your cup of tea, give it a try. I’m excited to see where the rest of the season leads.
A/N: This took me like a solid 3 days to write. I hope you guys like it! More to come soon!
Word Count: 1,265
The trees zoom past as Shawn and I drive the back roads to my house. Our hands are intertwined on the centre console of his jeep and the windows are rolled all the way down, in order to feel the breeze blow across our sunburnt cheeks. Shawn for once, allowed me to be in control of the music, so my phone is plugged into the auxiliary cord and my whole library’s on shuffle. Currently, Ed Sheeran’s Little Bird is playing and Shawn is softly singing along.
“I love how we can do this. Windows down, music blasting, not a care in the world,” I say turning down the music and looking at Shawn to give him a loving smile.
“I know, we can’t do this in Toronto, or even Pickering. Too many people will recognize us,” he says agreeing. “I love doing this. I love being able to drive with the windows down, the sun in our faces and the music blasting. But most of all, I love being able to do it with you. I feel like sometimes, this is the only personal time we get. I know it’s not; I just feel sometimes we just need to drive. You and me against the world, baby.”
“I love you,” I say to him and bring our hands up, so I can kiss the back of his.
“Do you love me enough to blow my whistle?” Shawn asks me laughing. The opening to Flo-Rida’s Whistle coming through the speakers.
I don’t even think of the double meaning of his question, when I respond laughing, “Yeah, I love you enough to blow your whistle.”
“Wait, are you serious?” Shawn asks turning down the music completely, before looking at me with his eyebrows raised.
“Wait, you actually meant-” I trailed off, looking at him with a bewildered expression.
“Yeah, I mean? I could go for one?” He says more like a question.
“Shawn, we’re driving,” I say. Not actually believing we are having this conversation right now.
“So? I could pull over. Or” he says, dragging out the ‘r’, “I could unbutton my pants just enough for you.” He tries to reason with me.
“I could bite you!” I say to him with conviction.
“I don’t think you will, baby. You’re too good with your mouth,” Shawn says smirking.
I can’t actually believe I am considering giving him a blow job right now. I mean, someone could see us. It’s unlikely, but I’m still conscious of the fact we are still driving on a road.
“Pull over,” I demand, “please.”
Shawn’s eyes light up with excitement and he steers the jeep to the right before coming to a complete stop and putting it in park. The only thing being heard is the right turn signal.
“Unzip your pants.” Shawn’s fingers leave the steering wheel before fumbling with the button and the zipper on his jeans. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this right now,” I mumble.
“Neither can I, to be honest,” Shawn confesses. “I mean, I’ve always wanted road head, but I’ve never really thought about it. We usually always have someone with us.”
I ponder the words I’m thinking before letting them slip past my lips, “I’ve always wanted to give you road head. Leaning over, and knowing that I have you at my mercy.” My cheeks turn red at my dirty confession. Shawn’s eyes go wide with shock and my words instantly make him hard.
“But, but. Why didn’t you say anything before?” He stutters.
“I dunno, I mean. It never came up?” I question. “Now quit talking, and start driving.”
“Wait-” Shawn starts, before I cut him off.
“Shawn, if you say wait one more time,” I threaten.
“You want me to drive?” He questions me.
“Yes, more exciting for both of us.” I say, smirking while doing so.
By the time Shawn shuts up, he’s driving again and I’m level with his crotch. I slowly trail my finger along his length. He’s hard enough for me to just take him in my mouth, but I want to tease him first. I lean my head down to slowly start mouthing kisses over his boxer briefs, just enough for him to feel my warm breath and soft lips. Underneath where my hand is resting on his thigh, I feel him tense.
“Baby,” he whines. “Don’t tease me please.”
I hum to myself, enjoying the fact that he’s squirming for me to do something. Painstakingly slow, I delicately bring his boxers down, just enough that his boner slaps up against his t-shirt. His tip is already pink and swollen. I take him in my hand, and Shawn draws in a breath. I smirk, knowing I have him completely at my mercy. I slowly start pumping my hand up and down, twisting every now and then. I look up to the left, to look at Shawn’s face. His teeth are sunken so deep into his bottom lip, I’m surprised he hasn’t broken the skin. I then trail my eyes across his arms to his hands, that are clenching the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles have turned white. I turn my head back to my hand. I figured he’s had enough, so I lean forward and gently suck on the tip. Shawn tenses, and let’s out a sound of shock and pleasure. I slowly slide my lips down his shaft, my hand wrapping around what I couldn’t fit, before coming all the way back up. I release him with a ‘pop’ of my lips, before I proceed to this a couple more times just to let him know, that I’m still teasing. I can tell he’s getting a little frustrated by the way his hand has found the back of my neck. His fingers curled around the back, and his thumb rubbing circles where my neck and jaw meet.
“Can you just-” Shawn stops short and moans unexpectedly, when I take him in my mouth, and suck hard.
I start bobbing my head up and down and rotating my hand around him vigorously. The only thing being heard is the wind and Shawn’s low moans, as we continue to drive. I continue to blow him like that for a few more minutes. Eventually, I feel Shawn’s thigh start to tense, and I know he’s close.
“’M close,” Shawn breathes, a low moan following his words. As I go to take more of him in my mouth, we hit a bump. The force from the tires hitting the pothole, cause Shawn’s hips to rise, and for him to accidentally go all the way down my throat. Essentially, allowing me to deepthroat him. From the new sensation of being deeper in my throat, Shawn cums. I continue to suck him for a few more seconds, until I know he’s rode out his high. I proceed to pull off of him, and tuck him away back in his boxers, and pants.
As soon as my back hits the front of the passenger seat, Shawn immediately pulls over.
“Fuck, baby! I didn’t even see the pothole. Fuck, I’m sorry! Are you okay?” Shawn asks me frantically. The fact that I’ve never deepthroated him before causing his concern.
I shrug my shoulders, “I’m fine. It didn’t hurt.”
“Are you sure?” He asks, the concern pooling in his eyes.
“Yes Shawn,” I respond.
“As long as you’re okay,” he mumbles then leans over to kiss me. I hum some sort of agreement against his lips.
“At least we know I can deepthroat now,” I say to him laughing.
Yup, I liked it a lot. Thank you for asking this question, because I have many things to say about this chapter. Forgive me in advance for what I feel it will be a long reply.
First of all, I was surprised (though I shouldn’t have been) at Akira’s coldness towards Kaneki. I get where she’s coming from and I understand how hard it must be to digest this sudden change, and everything that goes with it. Flat out acceptance would have been unrealistic and the result of bad writiing, because Akira couldn’t possibly have gone from a mindset in which she represented Justice, and she had no reason to doubt her moral standing, to one where she must admit to herself that her worldview was limited and bigoted, and that the world isn’t as black and white as the Academy would have liked them to envision.
Despite that, I wasn’t expecting for her to shut Kaneki out completely (and for killing Arima on top of that, which is a lie for f*** sake Akira c’mon, you can figure that much out!), because however confusing her feelings might be right now, he’s one of the few people she’s closest to in Goat, and that’s true the other way around, too. I feel like Akira needs Kaneki’s perspective on this new situation she’s been forced into by her own rash decision-making, because unlike Seidou or Amon, who are in it because of circumstances, Kaneki is her only ally that’s in it because he fully believes in what he’s doing. Amon is getting there, too, what with his forgiveness of Touka and with his newfound way of channeling his anger and grief towards the unfairness of the world instead of random scapegoats like faceless “Ghouls”. But I don’t know. I feel like Kaneki’s perspective is important, too. And having Akira’s approval is even more symbolic for him, I reckon.
She’s still a mother figure for him. We all can agree of how positive of a character development this could lead to, if he were to finally have a healthy and supportive mother figure for a change. Eto has always used him for her machinations. He needs someone who can guide him and respect him without asking anything from him, without taking anything from him. Akira can (and will) be that person, imho.
Anyway, I’m positive that she’ll come around eventually. She’s smart, strong-willed and perceptive. There’s no way she won’t pull herself together in order to follow her heart instead of suppressing her feelings and get things taken from her, even if her whole narrative wasn’t centered around the theme of being left alone. She just needs a bit of time to sort out her feelings and find a new reason to fight. and that can happen only after she talks it out with a few characters currently part of Goat. I’m really looking forward to her confrontation with Hinami and Touka in particular, though I’m also curious about her feelings towards Takizawa (if he’s not dead).
On a side note, I really love how Ishida pointed out the irrationality of Hinami’s feelings towards Akira. Grief doesn’t obey logic, and even though she does realize that Akira has nothing to do with the cold-blooded murder of both her parents, she can’t help but associate her with it, anyway. It’s a curious diversion from the usual theme that states “the children pay for the sins of their parents”, because even if Akira didn’t do anything wrong per se, she’s not innocent, since she did approve of her father’s doing and she would have done the same in his place. She doesn’t see Ryoko’s and her husband’s death as a sin at all, and instead used the quinque derived from Mr. Fueguchi with the obvious pride of someone who thinks they’re fighting for the right side. So I’m curious as to how Ishida intends on smoothing out this particular conflict, and how it will affect both Akira’s and Hinami’s character development.
Forgive me for my obvious bias, but Ayato too deserves a small mention, here.
This scene gives me SO MANY FEELS for so many reasons ;n;
The way I see it, this scene wasn’t portraying just Hinami’s grief. Just look at Ayato’s expression right before he goes to comfort her. Ayato knows where Hinami’s coming from. He too lost both his parents, and he too knows what it feels like to have his own life saved at the cost of his mother’s, who chose to stay behind in order to buy her children time to escape. Just. He knows how she’s feeling because he’s already felt it all, too.
I love that their relationship isn’t based on forced companionship. It might have been like that at first, but they grew to be such mature and strong people thanks to the support and trust they gave to each other, thanks to the shared burdens and mutual understanding of each other’s pain. Idk, this scene might have been really brief but it meant a lot to me.
Moving on: Amon and Touka’s talk. *Deep breaths* What can I say. It beat all possible expectations I might have had.
I think that in a sense it was exactly Amon’s unyielding sense of justice that brought him where he is now. He says it himself: he doesn’t hold a grudge against Touka specifically anymore, but he would have arrested her anyway, if he was still an investigator. That was the right thing to do; setting a moral example for everyone to see so that no one else will have to undergo the same pain. That’s the kind of justice of a ghoul investigator. But this sense of justice itself was flawed, because it didn’t take into account Touka’s own take on justice, and how it was Mado the bad guy from her perspective. So arresting her can’t be the answer. Not only that, but he’s no longer an investigator, so he can’t appeal to the sense of justice of one.
He himself has changed, and so his moral grounding has to change, too. So then, it comes to this:
This scene is one of my favourites of the whole chapter because it doesn’t just represent Amon’s character development, but also Touka’s absolution. You see that shocked face Touka pulls? I can assure you that Amon’s forgiveness means a great deal to her. This was Touka after Ryouko’s death:
“It doesn’t matter if a murderer like me dies.”
She doesn’t sugarcoat it for her own sake. She’s aware that what she does, killing people to survive, is wrong. She doesn’t conveniently brush it off as something she needs to do because she’s born that way, unlike other characters. She’s always felt this conflict more than other people. Killing never came easy to her, and deep down, she feels obvious guilt over what she does. So having Amon, a former human and enemy, come to her specifically with the intention of telling her that the real evil is not her nature but the circumstances that make men monsters, is really important for her character. For the first time, someone who has every right to hate her, to want her dead, is offering her acceptance. If Kimi’s comment about Touka’s kagune was meant as a “you’re as valid as I am” moment, I consider this talk with Amon as a “you’re as evil as I am” moment. Both were very important for Touka’s character development, and a necessary step towards her own acceptance of her dark past in order to move forward.
Then there’s Furuta’s moment of glory. Gosh, he leaves me speechless every time. :’D The way he’s not taking the ceremony seriously is very significant imho. Once again, he proves that his role in the story is that of the comedy to Kaneki’s tragedy.
Take this single panel as an example:
Kaneki’s group is facing an internal crisis? Meanwhile, Furuta is at the peak of his power. Kaneki despairs because he’s a horrible leader and his organization is only held together by the lack of other options, meanwhile Furuta laughs in the face of his own success, and all of his scheming give way to the exact outcome he’s envisioned.
I love how he keeps being the comedic aspect of this whole tragicomedy of a story, how he keeps up the facade of the “six year-old” while feeling dead inside, and I love how he chose to wear a stupid mask the moment he reached his goal, because it only stresses further the artificial nature of his own playfulness.
Just think about it from a narrative perspective: this is the moment that we, as readers, should feel threatened by him. This is the moment he officially becomes the Enemy, because everyone in the CCG accepts him as the leader. Instead, we laugh at him. We don’t feel threatened at all. We’re asked not to see him as the final villain, but as a joke, as another victim of the system. A guy who in his moment of glory, when everyone’s looking his way, chooses to wear a mask, and chooses to treat his victory as a laughing matter. Idk, the more I think about it the more it makes me want to cry. This guy doesn’t have anything (or anyone) else but his sense of humour, and he clings to it like a lifeline. It’s such a lonely, empty existence… I know I shouldn’t pity him after all he’s done but…
Anyway, anyway. This post is already long as it is so I’m going to stop there. Thanks again for giving me an excuse to vomit all my thoughts/feelings of this chapter! o/ I hope it was an interesting read :’D
[ 13/100 DAYS OF PRODUCTIVITY • 09.10.16 ]
FIRST bujo spread i’ve posted ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ((much excite))
and funfact: I spent like hella long editing this set of photos to finally get the hue and luminance to look coordinated ahhh but for some reason it looks like there’s a greenish hue when I post it
(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾???idk i give up tell me if that’s how it looks like on your side maybe it’s just my phone lmao
also my finals are coming to an end soon, so by next tuesday I’ll be free!!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) I’ll try and post as many notes as I can until we have to go back to school for like a week(?) and then my end-of-academic-year break starts ＼＼\٩( ‘ω’ )و //／
hope you guys have been doing well!!
p.s. I also feel like I use way too many kaomojis in my posts sometimes but whatever
major: drama + classics (concentration: greek civilization)
minor: ancient greek
sports: is running around campus in a toga considered a sport? he did that once as a part of an impromptu production,,,,,,
clubs: poets society, theater club, hosts the bi-yearly ‘on campus olympics’, playwrights united, so many tbh,,,,,,
kihyun’s love for drama comes from his love for greek mythology. it all started with him watching an old film version of the odyssey when he was ten and afterwards he couldn’t stop parading around the street asking everyone to call him “odysseus ruler of ithaca”
but instead of going into film as a major, kihyun had started reading the playwrights of sophocles, euripides, and agathon and had fallen for the sheer madness of greek tragedy
his love for both acting, writing, and the culture of ancient greece made him want to learn the language (although he is rather clumsy with it) but inevitably he ended up majoring in both drama and the classics
bringing together the two things he loves most: being on stage himself, while also learning about the art of his favorite kind of plays
and everyone in the drama major agrees that if they ever put on productions based off ancient greek plays that kihyun HAS to be the main role -
like for their production of hamlet, kihyun was fine playing horatio - he didn’t have to be the prince but when they put on oedipus rex well,,,,,let’s just say there was no question kihyun wanted the role
mostly because in the play oedipus ends up blind and kihyun came into practice with a blindfold on and proceeded to try and prove he could still do everything without seeing anything,,,,he ended up in the nurses office buT HEY HE GOT THE ROLE
all his classes that focus on playwriting / scripts kihyun has this need to only write twists on greek mythology, or make up stories using the gods
and in costume design he’s always like “my sketches are based on artemis!! see the dress is short, but comfortable with nature-themed colors because artemis was the goddess of the hunt-”
and you know the way some people are harry potter nerds or ,,,, gamers ,,,,, or you know kpop fans,,,,, kihyun is a fan of ancient greece. to put it simply
and he’s really smart about the civilization, he knows so many facts and so many philosophers and writers and political figures - even though it might seem like he’s a little messy at times
which believe me, kihyun can give off the messy feeling because he’s really easily frustrated by a A LOT of things. like he always gets too much on his schedule and then fusses about how he can’t finish
and minhyuk loves LOVES L O V E S to tease kihyun when kihyun is trying to focus on his work
and it ends up with kihyun chasing minhyuk around the library waving around his copy of ‘hippolytus’ like a weapon
but also kihyun always drags minhyuk into his room to read through lines with him or give him his opinion on kihyun’s acting
and minhyuk is like whY ME ASK SHOWNU and kihyun is like i can’t shownu’s only reaction is ‘good’ ‘nice’ ‘very pleasing’
like minhyuk and kihyun are always bickering if they’re in the same room and minhyuk’s always like ROFL YOU’RE SO MAD YOUR EARS TURNED RED!!!! and kihyun is like THEY DID NOT CO M E HERE SO I CAN WHOOP-
but in the end minhyuk is always one of the first people kihyun invites to his productions and it’s cute it’s like cats and dogs w/them
on the other hand, with everyone else kihyun is sooooooo sly and he’s always like,,,,,like he always knows everyones secrets and no one knows how
like he leaned over to jooheon once and was like “i heard you failed your test in global finance” and jooheon’s fry fell out of his mouth because he was like WHO TOLD YOU I SHREDDED THAT TEST and kihyun is just like (—–: heard it thru the grapevine~
also jooheon is just an easy target for kihyun because he always slips up and tells kihyun exactly what he wants to know and everyone is like kihyun let him live and kihyun is like hehehehe,,,,NO
tries to matchmake all his friends on blind dates and stuff because he calls himself the ‘modern day eros’
it flops most of the time and everyone in monsta x is like stop trying to wingman us and kihyun is like that’s why you’re all single because you won’t listen to me - the actual god of love
and even though kihyun seems like this responsible, on-top of his work kind of person there are times where,,,,,,,that isn’t very true
because college makes people doubt their abilities and kihyun has never been the kind of person who’d go around asking for help or advice,,,he always just gives his support
but when he needs it most ??? he shuts down
and you learn this because every time you’ve ever seen kihyun,,,,you’ve seen the happy and excitable kihyun. the kihyun who laughs with his whole body, who speaks his lines with so much emotion that people C R Y, who is always shining on and off stage
you’ve seen him like this ever since you started volunteering to paint backgrounds for the theater club
and never once,,,,had you see him look sad. you’d seen him angrily yelling out when things were getting messed up, how he gets a little on edge when people keep messing up lines,,,,,maybe even the way his ears get red when he’s rushing to get rehearsal started but,,,,,,
so you can only describe it as pure shock when you think that everyone has gone for the day and you’ve set up the large white banner that you have to paint for an upcoming production but as you step back inside the dark theater with buckets of paints you hear ??? crying
and it isn’t like sobbing or anything but you hear someone sniffle
and you consider like turning around and leaving them in peace, but when you catch a glimpse of the pink hair,,,,,,,,the pink hair of the only person on campus who has that bright of a dye job
you freeze and think “kihyun?”
and at first you don’t believe it because no way. someone so outspoken and charismatic wouldn’t seclude themselves to crying in the theater ,,,,,
but then you see him get up from the corner he’s slumped again, a liter of paper scraps making a ring around his feet
and that’s when you notice that you’ve locked eyes. your wide, confused ones staring into kihyun’s that are rimmed with redness and the tear stains down his cheeks glisten even so far away
something about it leaves you even more shocked ,,,,, because even like this kihyun is handsome. hauntingly handsome,,,,,,wiping at his face with his sleeves and desperately moving his eyes away from yours
and you think he’s just going to run past you. leave
but he seems stuck too
and for a while you two just stand there in a silence broken only by kihyun sniffling every now and then and you shifting the paint can in your hands
and then you hear him go “im sorry, this is painfully awkward for you isn’t it?”
something sounds a bit bitter in his voice,,, what it is you don’t know ? but you transfix your stare and shake your head simply going “no. you’re the one that looks like you’re going through something painful”
kihyun’s head snaps up to look back at you and again,,,,,,something about the browns of his eyes seem illuminated and glassy
he bites back his lip but sadly drops his shoulders “you’re right. it is painful.”
now it probably isn’t your place to go around meddling into his business, but it’s never nice to leave someone crying alone without at least trying to extend a helping hand so shakily you step forward. setting down your can of paint you keep your eyes on him
kihyun seems to break at the sound of your question. a visible shiver runs down his body and before you know it he’s back to his knees on the floor, picking up the scraps of paper and crumpling them in his hand
without really knowing why you rush over and try to pull the scraps from him. you unravel one and read the disjointed sentences, the obvious dialogue mixed in with stage commands
it’s a script,,,,,,for a play
putting together a couple of more scraps you make out names like ‘aphrodite’ and ‘eros’. the names of ancient greek cities. words you can’t decipher but that are most obviously distinct of an old langue
you look up at kihyun and he stares blankly at the paper before clenching his teeth
“they won’t approve it. greek tragedy isn’t popular in our time, it’s only meant to be studied.” you tilt your head and kihyun continues with a sigh
“every time we have to submit a draft, the professor gives it back. says, “kihyun stop writing tragedies. stop putting in obscure greek references. kihyun,,,,,,,,,,,do something more modern.” but i don’t want to. im not majoring in modern theater. im majoring in the classics. so what if i want to rewrite them. so what if i want to make a play about ancient gods no one cares about. i care about them. i ,,,,,,,,”
he stops and his gaze meets yours. your trying to piece the paper back, you want to read the scene but you can’t. it’s so ripped up
kihyun takes the paper and without looking at it recites that characters lines. he sets the place for you, olympus and than a city off the skirts of athens. you listen, enchanted at how he’s added all this to his memory. the smallest details, the expression on his characters faces
it’s only one scene that he recites aloud, but you edge closer and ask “is there more?”
kihyun lets out a shallow laugh and shakes his head “the professor said to give it up. i need to re-write something more to their taste.
you sit back on your heels and then get up, taking the paint can beside your feet and dipping it in a sand colored mix, you begin to paint a long line
kihyun watches and blinks “what is that?”
you turn to him and smile “ancient greek cities had columns right?you mentioned the outskirts of athens-”
kihyun gets up and puts his hand over your wrist. he shakes his head and goes “you don’t have to.”
but you yank your hand and continue to paint. “i want to.”
for a couple of minutes you continue to paint, trying to imagine the backdrop kihyun described as best you can.
“what about the background you’re supposed to actually be drawing?” he asks and you run your free hand through your hair to push it back from your eyes
“ill do it after. right now, i want to paint this. i want to see a part of your play in front of my eyes.”
kihyun seems taken aback but he sees your determination. he steps back and you think he’s going to leave, maybe find you inarguable and give up
but then you hear him walk back and forth, taking in your painting so far and then a smile pulls at his lips
“well ok see the column, cover it in slight vine. there’s also a market scene in my play so we should add in stalls and maybe an animal or two-”
you and kihyun paint for hours. maybe three. maybe four. you and kihyun. alone.
you both end up with stained hands, sweat on your foreheads, and a half finished piece of artwork
kihyun grins and turns to you, “thank you.”
you shrug your shoulders, the overalls your wearing have long been stained with paint but now there’s even more and you feel bad because kihyun’s gotten his fancy looking sweater dirty but he doesn’t look like he cares at all
he’s looking at the background with shining eyes and you’re happy because you can see that the redness from crying is gone, that bitter tone in his voice is gone
and you’re looking at the passionate boy you’ve always found so mesmerizing again
but as you two realized it’s getting late you set out the large banner to dry in a vacant part of the backstage. kihyun suddenly takes your hand and pushes his phone into it
“put in your name and contact so we can meet up and finish this?”
you gladly oblige and kihyun reads your name aloud when you’re done, almost like he’s testing it out as a line to read on stage. you feel a slight blush cross your cheeks when he says it so boldly but you hide it with a “hopefully this all drys over night.”
kihyun walks out of the theater with you, insisting that he hold half the empty paint cans and a brush between his teeth that makes you laugh
as you wave goodbye and go separate ways the warmness in your heart stays with you all the way to your dorm
the next day,,,,,,,,,,,,that warmness is gone
because the director of the play you were supposed to draw the background for is livid to see that instead of their european snowy mountains request,,,,,,you’ve drown an ancient greek cityscape
“are you an idiot? can you not listen to directions? HAVE YOU EVEN READ THE PLAY? this isn’t some bullshit remake of ‘Medea’. throw this out no one is going to use it!”
the yelling makes you flinch and you reluctantly try to roll the banner up but the director puts a hand in your way
“what are you doing? rip this to shreds, it’s garbage.”
you clench your jaw and stand up, “it’s not garbage. it’s for another play. i need to make sure not to ruin it.”
with a cocked eyebrow the director folds their hands and snorts “what other play? since when were there any greek productions approved by the theater club? no one wants to s-”
“i want to see it. i want to see my friends greek tragedy and im not going to ruin the art we worked hard on so if you can please shut up and move your hand. ill get to work on your background, practice for it doesn’t even start till next week.”
passing the director whose looking at you with an open mouth you roll the banner up and heave it into your hands. it’s long and heavy, but you figure you’ll be fine if you walk slow
but just before you do, another set of hands wraps around the big roll of paper and you see a familiar pink head stick out from the side
you grin at kihyun and the two of you lift up the unfinished background. the director mutters something about of COURSE kihyun wants to put on a play copying the tragedies and it takes everything in you not to snap at them
kihyun’s reassuring smile keeps you stable and the two of you walk out of the theater and kihyun leans the rolled up paper against the wall
“well, i guess ill keep it in my dorm. although im not sure my roommate will be happy about it,,,,,,then again shownu never really cares that much.”
you apologize but kihyun leans over to ruffle your hair
“why are you sorry? i should apologize for distracting you from making that other background. that asshole really went off on you - do you think you can just quit and permanently work for me?”
you know he’s half-joking but you play with the idea in your head for a minute before putting your hands on your sides and going “you know what, i think i will quit.”
and with that you turn on your heel, back into the theater before kihyun can stop you, and you shout “i QUIT”
before returning to kihyun whose waiting outside with his eyes the size of the moon
“you- why- you”
you laugh and shrug “i don’t want to work for an asshole, might as well put my skill to good use for people who actually appreciate it.”
kihyun bites back a big grin and throws his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him suddenly and squeezing
“you know i owe you a lot!” you blush because he’s warm, his chest is solid and you fit so perfectly into the crook of his hand but you just manage to shadow it with another chuckle “you do! anyway, you need to finish writing the play,,,,,,”
kihyun lets you go and rummages around in his backpack, pulling out a thick stack of papers
“i spent all night on it. i mean i already had half done, but i actually finished it. you really motivated me.”
the words are simple but they make you heat up again and you take the stack, eager to flip through it and finally read the whole thing. kihyun somehow hauls the entire roll of paper onto his back and says he’ll call you when he’s free so you two can finish this up and so you can tell him what you think of the play. you nod and watch as he struggles across the quad,,,,,,,
you hold the play in your hands and think,,,,,it’s worth it. for him, it’s worth it.
you stay up reading it, even neglecting some studying to read it twice. from what you can figure out it’s a play on an greek romance tragedy where aphrodite meddles between a young girl and her secret lover,,,,,,,it’s kind of corny in some parts and over dramatic,,,but that’s the style that suits kihyun the best
and in the morning as you’re leaving for your first class you get a call
kihyun’s excited voice on the other line calls your name and he says that if you have some free time to meet him in the art department soon.
when you show up at the room kihyun told you about you see that all the desks are pushed against the wall and your unfinished background is spread on the floor surrounded by paint cans and brushes. kihyun is already on his knees, painting, wiping sweat away with one hand
but once he realizes you’ve come in he jumps to his feet and tugs you over by the wrist chattering about what he wants to add into the painting.
you guys paint together for horus, kihyun keeping the mood happy with jokes and stories and telling you more about the play he has in mind
at some point you two are sitting close together, shoulders basically rubbing up against each other
when kihyun leans over and you feel the tickle of a brush on your skin
and you look down to see kihyun painting a smiley face on your forearm
you retaliate by drawing a mustache on for him
he laughs and draws swirls on your cheeks
and the background is forgotten for a while as you both paint little things on one and other
kihyun covers you crooked flowers and scribbles of lines and you try to draw whiskers on his nose
and ,,,,,,,,, then you know kihyun is leaning in close
the brush he has is too big so he uses his finger to draw a pink petal on your forehead but then he makes the (good,,,,verY GOOD) mistake of looking into your eyes
and it’s still early afternoon with the sun peaking thru the blinds
of the empty classroom,,,,,
except,,,,,for you two,,,,,,,,,,
and your eyes are like,,,,,,,,,,,the most beautiful thing kihyun has seen in his entire life,,,,,your breathing both slowed,,,,,,,,your mouths inches apart,,,,,literally,,,,,
and both of you are thinking the same thing which is like ‘how soft are their lips,,,,,’
BUT ALAS NEITHER OF YOU DO ANYTHING AND INSTEAD PULL AWAY GOING BACK TO WORK EMBARASSED AS HELL
except kihyun cannot stop thinking about it and you keep touching your lips every second but ,,,,,,,,
kihyun just stops and goes “looks like we’re almost done!” in an effort to break the awkward air and you nod, adding some final details
and finally you get up and kihyun says you can leave it here to dry since no one is using this room today
and you don’t know why,,,,maybe it’s the leftover embarrassment, but you get your things and tell kihyun you have to go,,,,
but before you can make your escape kihyun calls out
“are you going to come and see my play?”
and you gasp because holy shit did he get it approved by the theater club????
but kihyun shakes his head and you’re like then how-??? and kihyun is like “just promise me, when i call you with an invitation you’ll show up right?”
and he puts out his pinkie and you’re like a bit confused but you link yours with his and promise
and kihyun reaches out like he’s going to ruffle your hair again but pulls back
and you leave,,,,,,,,,thinking about how kihyun is going to manage to pull off a play without the club but also,,,,,
your fingers touch your lips again,,,,,,but you’re like sTOP thinking about it let’s go do some homework or something instead!!!
ofc kihyun is in the room alone, staring down at the finished piece with his own hand over his mouth
before screaming out “YOO KIHYUN YOU ARE AN I D I O T” at himself and almost falling forward onto the damn background
but also like ,,,,,, two weeks passes and you don’t hear from kihyun. like you see him running around campus doing his usual thing, you see him teasing that other guy jooheon and hanging out with minhyuk
but everytime he turns and you think he might see you,,,,you duck behind a tree or pull up your hood
because ok you’re not going to admit it but,,,,,,,,,,,,you kind of are still embarrassed about the whole art room incident but,,,,,,you honestly though kihyun would have said or done something by now to show you it was all ok????
and you know it’s stubborn to not just text or call him first but you just caNT
and after it edges on three weeks you think well it isn’t worth it to care anymore. kihyun needed you around because you helped him with the painting. it didn’t really matter
but as you’re sitting in your dorm, watching some drama on your laptop your phone goes off and mindlessly you pick up w/o looking at the caller ID
and on the other line is,,,,,kihyun
who goes “you said you’d come if i invited you right? can you come down to the west dorms?”
and you sit up, almost knocking your laptop off your feet and you’re like “uh oh yes give me 5 minutes” and you can practically hear kihyun’s smile on the other end when he’s like ok great!
and that’s how you end up in kihyuns dorm,,,,,,, staring at the makeshift stage he’s made out of blankets on the floor and the familiar background you both painted taped onto his wall
and you’re not sure where kihyun is, but you can hear voices from the bathroom and suddenly ????? shownu comes out
wearing what you presume is a night sheet as a toga
and he starts off talking about his “daughter” who can’t find love and instantly you realize this is ,,,,, this is the script you read by kihyun
and then the ‘daughter’ runs out. it’s changkyun in a wig
followed by mischievous aphrodite played by minhyuk in another wig and a crown made out of plastic flowers
and the narrator in the back, who sits down in the corner is a very tired looking hyungwon
followed by the dashing young lover,,,,,,,,,,,, kihyun
(also in a night sheet toga)
and there’s music,,,,,,,every now and then provided by wonho with his ipod and jooheon who throws paper shavings everytime minhyuk appears since he’s playing a goddess
and the whole thing looks so,,,,,,,,so bizarre and silly
shownu pulls the script out of his toga to literally read off his lines and minhyuk is obviously improvising and when kihyun tries to hug changkyun changkyun almost smacks him away with his wig
and it’s,,,,,it’s a mess
but it’s kihyuns play. and you watch it: laughing and clapping and gasping when you need to
and finally, the last scene,,,,,,,,the last kiss between the girl and her lover,,,,,,
changkyun suddenly goes over to you and pulls you up, moving you toward his spot beside kihyun
whispering “he wanted it to be you, plus i don’t want to kiss him”
before sitting down where you were
and you’re looking at kihyun who says his last line before wrapping his arm around your waist and placing a gentle kiss right ,,,, on your lips
and you’re like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because oh god everyone is watching - was this kihyuns plan - he’s so soft and this kiss is so nice - wait oh god his friends are all watching
but then you can’t help it, your hand almost reflexively goes up to his neck to pull him closer
and hyungwon literaLLY clears his throat because AHEM this kiss is ‘short and sweet’
but when you two pull back it’s obvious the play is over and everyone in the room breaks into applause
but you’re star-struck staring at kihyun who just smiles and goes
“i’ve been waiting a long time to do that”
before turning to bow to the lone changkyun who is sitting where you were, pulling you down a bit so you bow too
and ,,,,,,,,,,, it’s crazy really
but somehow it feels right and you compliment everyone on their acting and helping and all of them crowd around to talk about how kihyun had bribed them to get them to do it
and it makes you laugh, hearing about how much effort kihyun put into this “play” just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,to show it to you
and once all his friends have filed out of the dorm. shownu leaving with jooheon to let you and kihyun be alone
you turn to him and go
“it was a good play, but you should really submit it to the theater club. it deserves more than just me seeing it.”
kihyun grins, kissing the side of your cheek and going “it’s ok. this play is special,,,,,,so special because it’s only meant for one person to see it.”
kihyun: “the person i like.”
kihyun: “pleASE i am trying to be romantic.”
you laugh again and kihyun collects you in his arms, pressing your foreheads together and wow yes kihyun asked you out by putting on a whole play for you and we ALL KNOW HE WOULD BE THIS EXTRA
but it’s cute,,,,,,,,,shownu comes back to find you and kihyun sitting in his bed reading through other stuff kihyun has written and shownu is like “id like to get some sleep but if you two plan on staying up giggling i will go make my bed somewhere else”
kihyun walks you back your dorm considering it’s dark out and you tell him that you’re serious though - he should get one of his plays put on by the theater club
kihyun just kisses you again and tells you you’re the best fan he’s ever had
and you hit him playfully because yes, fan but also -the best significant other???
and dating kihyun means literally just dating the most affectionate person in the world
from the moment you two meet up after your class to when kihyun has to leave you for practice ,,,,, kihyun is holding onto you
holding your hand, holding your waist, holding your face, literally just attached to your side
for that constant love and attention
and he’s even more passionate and dramatic than what you thought you knew
like he’ll get down on his knees with a rose in his mouth in front of your whoLE clASS on your 100 day anniversary
and he’ll insist on carrying you if you as much as scratch yourself on something
and he’ll serenade you outside your dorm window
and he’ll get his face printed on a t-shirt that says ‘i love kihyun’ as a gift for you
and oh gosh it sounds overwhelming but it’s all done with the best intentions because you best believe he makes himself a shirt that says ‘i love y/n’ with your face on it so he can wear it with pride
even though hyungwon sees this couple item and looks at you like please tell kihyun to burn these
but kihyun isn’t just passionate about you,,,,,,,,he’s passionate about your life too. he’s always cheering you up when you’re in a slump over course work or friends or family. and your family loves him because he literally is so polite and so well-mannered around them
and even on little holidays that most people overlook he’s like ‘let me call your family and thank them for bringing you into this world one again-’ and you’re like PLEASE
kihyun is also super smart,,,,,like he knows so much about ancient greek civilization and when he practices the language in front of you you’re like ‘you’re a genius’ and kihyun is like ‘i know, you’re lucky to be dating me. the next socrates’
and you’re like ok bye but he begs you to stay with many kisses
and he’s a drama major, and people think it’s easy but you know how kihyun stays up studying lines and then working on props that the club might need, and revising his own personal playwrights
and when you learn that he’s even taking a class on like lighting techniques??? for like stages???
you’re honestly like,,,,,,he is a genius and so hardworking,,,,,
so you’re always like giving kihyun a shoulder massage or helping organize his notes and he’s like “you really care well for me”
and you play it off like WHAT would you do without me,,,,,but you’re just really proud of his hardwork
and that’s why when you hear that the club is looking of putting out another production you insist that kihyun submit one of his plays,,,,,but he gets all concerned again
so with confidence you submit a copy of it yourself and it gets picked?? and when kihyun finds out he runs to your first
and literally picks you up in a spinning hug because he’s like mY PLAY and you’re like I tOLD you TheY’D LOVE IT
and that one teacher that kept telling him to stop writing in that style,,,,,,well let’s just say he’s quite embarrassed when the whole drama department gets excited over seeing the club put on something modeled after the ancient greek play
and you ofc help to paint the background
and while kihyun is practicing, every now and then he’ll break his concentration to surprise you with back hugs and kisses on the neck
on opening night of the production,,,,, you have a front row seat along with the rest of monsta x
and it’s amazing,,,,,kihyun shines so powerfully with his performance
but watching him makeout with the other lead,,,,,well,,,,,let’s just say you force jooheon to cover your eyes for you
but after as you’re all congratulating all the student actors
you pull kihyun aside and just,,,,,,,,well just you kiss him with a bit more force than ever and kihyun pulls back like ‘is this a gift for my performance or are you trying to tell me something?”
and you blush because Shut UP but,,,,,also,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you’re like “kihyun let’s celebrate more,,,,,,,,alone,,,,,,,,in your dorm,,,,,tell shownu to spend the night somewhere else”
and kihyun’s ears go redder than blood and he doesn’t even have to open his mouth when you two show up in front of shownu
because kihyun’s hair is a mess already since you made out with him and his ears are blushing and you’re already nudging him in the side and shownu gets it
he’s like “ill comeback tomorrow, you two have fun. be safe”
let’s just say when shownu comes around in the morning he has to throw another blanket on top of you and kihyun LOL
and kihyun is amazing,,,,,,,at acting,,,,,,,at being a boyfriend,,,,,at ahem other things
BUT he’s also a good cook and when you find him at your dorm with late night snacks he made or just when you two have the time to use the communal kitchen
you’re just like im blessed,,,,he’s everything
and one summer kihyun surprises you with money he’s saved up for a trip to greece before the semester starts again and you’re like kIHYUN where did you get the money,,,,,,,,,,, and he just grins because apparently translating ancient greek for some older scholars is actually quite a well paying side job and you didn’t even know he was doing it
but ,,,,,,,,,,,, you guys go and it’s amazing. it’s short only a week, but it’s amazing and kihyun is like “if you hadn’t said all those thing, about how you wanted to watch my play no matter what,,,,,,i would have probably dropped out of drama as a major.” and you’re like what oh my god ,,, and he just grins
and brings you close and nuzzles his face against yours because,,,,,,,,you motivated him so much and you continue to motivate him
and you’re like kihyun!!! you motivate me too!!! you keep me stable and positive
and it’s just romantic,,,,,,,,,,,,,kihyun makes everything so romantic
and once you get back and another semester of college starts and all of monsta x is so jealous of your ‘lovers getaway’ to greece
kihyun is like “hey, let me wingman you guys and sooner or later you’ll all be on your own lovers getaways ;)”
all of monsta x: no
kihyun: you all are missing out. like i have a s/o and you don’t think about that hMMMMMMM
you: *face in your hands* why is he like this,,,,,,,,
This is going to be a spoiler free
review, so I won’t be able to go into too much detail, but let me
give you a short preview of what I feel about the movie: It was
utterly and undeniably magical!
I just left the cinema and instantly
made my way home and to my laptop to write all this down so I would
not forget a single thing I wanted to share with you guys, because
let me tell you there is so much to say about this movie and all of
it is good. Over the past couple of weeks I have seen so much
negativity surround this movie, so many people threatening to boycott
yet another movie they haven’t seen on the sheer basis that a
character was supposedly gay and once more mistreated for it.
I write this to share with everyone
willing to read just what an amazing experience it was watching this
movie. I want to preface the following review by saying that both my
best friend and I are not overly emotional people. Neither of us cry
at the drop of a pin, especially not in the cinema. Yet in the matter
of ten minutes both me and my friend had our first tears in our eyes.
I say first, because the movie takes you on quite the emotional ride
and it is magnificent. Now, I’m no professional, but I’d consider my
opinion rather objective and trustworthy. Of course, I’d suggest you
go see the movie yourself nevertheless.
Let me begin with the basics such as
scenery, music and cast. The scenery was quite literally
breathtaking. The second Emma Watson stepped out of her little home
in that little village of France you are there with Belle. I had the
pleasure to watch the movie in 3D IMAX and it was absolutely worth
it. I’d recommend for anyone to pay those extra bucks, because I feel
it really added to the tone of the movie.
While the CGI was certainly visible at
times and slightly over the top for my taste here and there the
overall feel of the movie is not damaged by it at all. Wherever the
movie takes you, it seems real despite of it. The camera work is to
thank for it as well, as it really helps to set a specific tone. All
in all the movie does great in making you feel a certain emotion at
the appropriate time by using all the means they are given to do so;
including the sets and the way the camera is handled.
music and especially the musical numbers were quite mesmerizing.
Amongst the familiar classics like Beauty and the Beast itself the
movie offered some new pieces as well. Especially one towards the end
– sung by Dan Stevens as the Beast – caught my attention and
heart in particular. They use the songs not only to entertain, but
also to convey emotions and a deep insight into the characters
themselves. Some performances I liked better than others – I was
disappointed by the audible autotune used on Emma Watson herself –
but overall the numbers were all equally entertaining.
the cast I have to admit I had my doubts. I was especially worried
about Josh Gad as Le Fou as I’ve gotten to know him as a pretty poor
comedic actor. I say poor as most jokes are at the expense of him and
his weight rather than made by him. After watching the movie I can
say that I could not be more pleased with the casting, even Josh Gad.
I was honestly surprised as to how well he handled the role and happy
to see him take on a more serious side. Of course he was still funny,
but this time the humour wasn’t at his expense, but rather due to his
wit and clever sarcasm.
Now I want to tackle the characters,
specifically taking the accusations into account, and talk about how
the movie performs in comparison to the old classic we all know and
love. While a lot of the original story has remained untouched and
recognizable, there still have been quite a few tweaks and they were
for the better. They made the story more understandable, the
characters more memorable and real. I am happy to note that the
characters are granted a new depth they were lacking in the original.
Thanks to that the story is much better fitting for our time, age and
Gaston I was especially pleased with,
for multiple reasons. Towards the beginning of the movie I found him
to be rather charming which was a clever move to make. It only made
him seem worse when finally his facade dropped later on the movie. It
makes you truly detest his character and therefor the movie managed
to create a good villain in him. Despite being the bad guy, however,
his relationship towards Le Fou is in no way hateful. In fact, their
friendship is one I considered to be one of the most interesting in
the entire movie!
As for Le Fou, I dare say he was one of my
favourite characters. Contrary to his original counterpart he is in
no way a fool. In fact, he is the one keeping Gaston in check,
knowing his best friends behaviour, trying to keep him in line while
simultaneously taking his jabs and making fun of him as well.
Compared to the original, their relationship is much more equal and
lighthearted. Gaston is still the dreamy guy everyone is into, but he
doesn’t treat Le Fou as a peace of shit for it. In fact, despite his
obviously homoerotic undertones, even towards Gaston, the latter
never once ridicules him for it. Not only that, but Le Fou undergoes
great character growth over the course of the movie and it was a
pleasure to watch.
As for the Beauty and the Beast
themselves, there is not too much to say. The characters themselves
weren’t changed too much and yet there was still a fresh air about
them. It’s hard to explain without giving too much away. However, I
can say that both of them are obviously flawed and both of them
undergo a growth as well. Not only the Beast but Belle too. Instead
of brushing their flaws off once the plots wants them to be in love
they are openly addressed and worked on. Both parties realize their
mistakes and even admit to them. It certainly was a nice, little
change and I happily watched their relationship develop step by step.
As for a direct comparison of the
original to the new one I can say without doubt and guilt that the
new movie is better. A lot of the flaws of the original – whether
due to ignorance or because of the time it was created it – were
taken care off in this movie. The Stockholm Syndrome people accuse
the original of is handled better and I say this with a particular
conversation in mind that directly addresses the issue of freedom
there is for Belle. The movie also works much better in establishing
the character, their relationships and especially their pasts. You
get to know more about Belle and the Beast that give you a better
insight into them and explain, to a certain extend, why their
relationship develops the way it does.
So, in conclusion, the movie does great
in sweeping you away into a beautiful, magical world. It has a great
tone, the music is catchy, the scenery is breathtaking and it hits
home in just the right places. While the original was beautiful and
unique to experience and is an irreplaceable part of many childhoods,
it was extremely flawed. While it isn’t to say that this version is
not flawed – it undeniably is – the new Beauty and the Beast
managed to give you nostalgia without making the same mistakes as its
predecessor. It adds a new depth and strength to our already beloved
characters that make me happy in the sense of knowing that another
generation will grow up with a better version of our childhood
Nct 127's reaction to their s/o breaking down over exams
Request: Could you do a nct 127/dream reaction to their s/o having a mental breakdown from end of the year exams?
A/N: honestly this is me because i stress out really easily and i have so many breakdowns but- this was fun to write and i hope it’s good!
He knew that you were slowly starting to stress out over the weeks, and was trying to find ways to make you feel better. But your breakdown came too sudden, he would be really worried and unsure of what to do, because he’s afraid that he’d make it worst. So he keeps quiet and doesn’t say anything, but he’d give you a big warm hug and comfort you as you cry on his shoulder. Persuades you to stop work and makes you rest, and he’d be right there beside you lying on the bed and making sure you’re sleeping soundly.
Wakes you up with your favourite warm drink and small kiss, also giving you his biggest smile, “baby you’ll do well, don’t stress yourself out”
For the past few weeks he had been by your side, being the encouraging boyfriend he normally is and motivating you through his words. But a look of worry and concern would show on his face immediately as soon as he saw you cry, and he’d give you comfort by letting you cry in both his arms, comforting you with encouraging words, “Babe you will do well like always, have faith”, “i trust you so you shouldnt doubt yourself”
Probably hugs you for the rest of the night/day in the bed so you wouldn’t get up to study and stress yourself out even more. Get ready for loads of affection especially kisses, because he knows they make you feel much better.
He knew you had the tendency to stress yourself out and put pressure on yourself when exams were near, but not to the point where you’d breakdown. Which was why he immediately hugged you and bombed you with questions as soon as he saw a tear roll down your cheek, suggesting many ways to cheer you up, aside from all the food and toys he had prepared earlier the day before.
He’s going to stay by your side till your exam ends and he’s going to be the sweetest and most encouraging boyfriend ever so, blessed!!! He’d do anything to see you happy again and he’d give you constant reminders to ask you to rest.
He knew you were feeling stressed, which was why he was teasing you and trying to make you laugh with silly actions, and clinging onto you like a leech. But little did he know his actions made you feel bad and even more stressed, which caused your breakdown. As soon as he saw your breath quicken and tears rolling down, he’d stop anything he was doing and have a serious expression, holding you tightly in his arms. Probably won’t say much, and let you cry against his chest.
As soon as you calm down he gives you the brightest smile ever and showers you with kisses, on the face and neck. Would set your books aside and carry you bridal style to your bed, “Babe get some rest, you need it”
Had always been supportive of you and understood that you took your studies really seriously, and is always there to remind you to not stress out. But you couldn’t help it but put pressure on yourself again, causing you to breakdown and fall apart. Would be extremely worried and probably be on the verge of crying too- his heart couldn’t stand seeing you cry this much. But offers you candies and food to cheer you up, and at the same time, give you hugs and kisses as you cry your heart out.
Anything that you ask him to do, he wouldn’t hesitate and he’d be more than willing to because he wants to see you happy again. Tries to help you out with revision and is always there to make your days better, be it with singing, hugging or cuddling.
Would probably be the calmest out of all the members in dealing with this scene. He knew you were going to breakdown sooner or later judging by how hard you stressed yourself out, which was why he told you countless times to “take it easy on yourself baby” but you didn’t listen, and ended up crying in his arms and he pat your back lightly, still having a small smile on his face, hoping that it’d cheer you up. But deep inside he feels bad that he can’t help in any way, even though he had prepared your favourite meal beforehand to cheer you on.
The next day he tries his best to keep you going and happy by doing silly actions, saying jokes and just being affectionate.
He’d noticed that you’d been off lately during this period of time, and was always by your side to give you encouraging words and warm hugs. But today you were extremely stressed out, which was why you couldn’t help but breakdown. He’d notice immediately, unsure of what to do at first, quickly giving you a hug as he tried to comfort you, “It’s okay, everything will be fine”, “you don’t deserve to be this sad, i’m here for you”
Doesn’t say much but he’d show his care and concern through actions, probably acting cute and being affectionate as he knows that’s what you love best. Sends you a “you can do this baby!!” every morning and night to cheer you on.
Being as hardworking as you, he knew how you feel and could relate to you a lot, but it hurt him to know that you were often feeling stressed- he did not want that. Which was why he’d give you reminders to ask to rest from time to time, and remind you that “you don’t have to keep pushing yourself, you’ll still do fine” But your emotions still got to you and you immediately broke down while struggling to revise, causing Mark to be in utter shock and speechless because he was unsure or what to do, or say. You’d see him panic a little too, but still hugs you to show you that he’s there, but you can see from his eyes that he’d thinking of how to help.
Like WinWin, he won’t say much but just let you cry in his arms, as he strokes your hair and pat your back. As soon as you calm down he’d ask you questions to make sure that you were okay, and suggest things to do to cheer you up. He’d also ask you to put your books aside and rest, and would probably ignore his own schedules to spend it with you to cheer you on during this period.
This sunshine had been starting to realise that you were occasionally stressed out even weeks before the papers, and would ‘threaten’ and ‘warn’ you to not stress out too much, “no studying today, if not there’s no kisses or hugs from me”, “i saw you frowning just now while revising, stop stressing yourself out idiot” But you still did, and you broke down instantly while you were only one day before the papers, which caught Haechan offguard, but still comforted you anyways. Would become extremely clingy and acts like a baby, “Please don’t be sad, it makes me sad too :-(” But also tries to cheer you up by making funny faces and saying jokes.
Also tries his best to help you out during revision but at the same time also make sure that you’re not stressing out too much again, “ass if i see you staying up to study again you’ll see me throwing all those papers away”. But you know he means the best for you and cares for you, so you listen to him.
A/N. I love this beautiful bean. This one shot doesn’t mean that requests are open, or that I’m going to be churning things out regularly again (I know I suck I’m so sorry guys I’m just so swamped with school its a mess), but I have been inspired and have a few other things in the works that I’ll keep you posted on. Anyway, you guys know the drill, I don’t own anything except the plot, blah blah blah, including the above gif, as much as I wish I could own this beautiful man and some of his biker brothers.
Alright guys, enjoy!
Juice rolled down the street, enjoying the purr of his bike beneath him, the wind in his face. He heard Bobby and Tig behind him, but as he sped up they fell behind. They knew the drill anyway. The Chicken Man was nervous about strangers and wouldn’t talk to anyone but Juice. Hearing other bikes would spook him.
Juice rolled up beside the blue van, which was parked rather conspicuously in the middle of a backroad, got off his bike and walked up to the window.
“Juan Carlos.” the Chicken Man nodded, head twitching to look around the lot. “May I assume the stimulants are in your backpack bag?”
“Yes Chicken.” Juice couldn’t hold back his smile. This was his favourite part, the shady deals. There was just something exhilarating about it, and he had to admit he enjoyed when he was able to do something like this the rest of the club couldn’t. “May I assume you have the cash?”
The man looked around nervously, giving another jerky nod. “Yes. Would you mind getting in? Talking this way makes me feel very conspicuous.”
Juice couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Sure thing man.” He opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. “You’re a lunatic, you know tha–”
He saw something move behind him, a flash of white. “Shit!”
He elbowed the Mayan (not a Mayan, he realized distantly, but a guy from that gang they were patching over), in the face, but hands, too many hands, grabbed him roughly and dragged him back between the seats.
There was shouting behind him, but he was too busy bucking and twisting to hear them properly. His arms were wrenched above his head roughly, pinned in a way he couldn’t shake off, and a gloved hand clamped down over his mouth. He shouted anyway, kicking and bucking and twisting and strongly regretting leaving Bobby and Tig behind.
The man with the hand over his mouth leaned down, and Juice recognized the president of the other MC. “You tell Clay, my bullshit MC’s got some reach eh?”
A fist slammed into his face and his head snapped back, slamming into the floor of the van. Distantly, over the sounds of fists hitting his face, his own grunts of pain, and the blood rushing in his ears, he could hear the Chicken Man.
“I’m sorry Juan Carlos, but I’ve run up a bit of a tab with these Mexican fellows.”
Juice was very tempted to tell the dick what he thought of his apology, and where he could shove it, but he was a little busy. He lost track of how many times he got hit in the face, and then when he was too dazed to fight back anymore they moved down to his ribs. He noticed distantly that one of the guys behind him was tugging at his arms, and when he bucked against them the jackass behind him dislocated his shoulder. He screamed, or at least he let out a strangled groan, and something absolutely disgusting was shoved into his mouth. He was pretty sure it was a sock. If it hadn’t been in his mouth he probably would have thrown up. As it was he was pretty sure he was going to need to wash his mouth out with soap.
He got hit in the face again, and all thoughts of being sick were knocked from his head.
I am so tired of groups, talented groups, having to disband because they’re not popular as other groups. It makes me so sad that they work so damn hard, and it’s like they’ll never be recognized because everyone is too focused on just one group. They’ll never get the chance to show how much talent they have because so many people won’t give them that chance. They deserve as much love, support, and recognition as others. It’s okay to stan more than one group, it’s okay to love and adore more than one… and it’s totally okay for someone to have their bias group. I know not everyone will feel the same way I do, and I can’t (and won’t) force anyone to like other groups… but please, please, please, PLEASE, give other groups a chance. Please don’t let their talent go unnoticed. 😔
Can we talk about Barry’s absolute lack
of fear, though?
I mean, sure, Snart is with the Legends
now, playing hero, but still: this is a man who’s tried to kill him
before, who’s betrayed him, who’s proven time and again how ruthless he is, and he’s aiming a piece of dangerous,
potentially lethal weaponry right at Barry.
And sure, Barry is desperate and needs
Leonard’s help, but this right there? That’s not an appeasing ‘hear
me out before you shoot’. Between the way Barry looks down and the
adorably awkward little wave, it’s clear that’s he’s thoroughly unconcerned
about the threat of the cold gun. There’s no trepidation. No grandstanding either, none of the usual ‘I know there’s good in you’ appeal to
Snart’s better nature to get him to put down the gun. In fact, Barry
not only fails to acknowledge the gun – he doesn’t even pay
attention to it; that’s how absolutely sure he is that Snart’s not
going to use it against him (or at least not in a way that really
does any harm).
This shouldn’t give me as many shipper
feelings as it does, but… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(Sorry for the crappy GIF quality. I’m too busy drowning in Coldflash feels to wait until I’m back at the computer that has proper animation software.)