Stan: what is heavier? 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? The answer is feathers because 200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weights of what you did to those poor birds.
Ben: Books are just dead tattooed trees
Richie: we all masturbate in the same language; loneliness
Bill: “Read” and “Lead” rhyme and “read” and “lead” rhyme but “read” and “lead” don’t rhyme and neither does “read” and “lead”
Mike: what if Mike is just really short for Micycle
Beverly: Maybe the reason fewer women are convicted of murder than men is because we know how to get blood stains out of everything
Eddie: “probiotic” sounds a lot better than “bacteria infested”