it feels weird calling you jen because people call me jen

Swipe Right

Imagine: Ben finding out you signed up for Tinder so decides to create a profile to get your attention

A/N: Thanks to my sister who thought that Ben actually had a profile online and @delos-mio for the inspiration!

 _______________________________________________________________

“You made her sign up for what?!” Cole asks, his eyes jumping from you back to your best friend Jen. You laughed, taking another sip of your water, your eyes hidden behind your sunglasses as Jen continued.

“Y/N is single, she’s hot and she doesn’t take any dating chances so I signed her up for Tinder.” She states this factually, casually scrolling through her phone.  


“And you’re okay with this?” Cole asks, looking over at you and shrug.

“Its okay I guess. I mean I only have my pride wounded.”

Cole falls back in his seat flabbergasted as Ben walks up to your table, taking a seat beside him.

“What could you ladies have possibly said to get Cole to shut up?” he smiles and you shrug, taking another long sip of your water as the waitress asks for everyone’s drink. When she leaves Jen says,

“I signed Y/N up for Tinder last night and she let me!”

“Really?” Ben asks, falling back in his seat and looking at you. You blush. Benjamin Barnes was a very attractive man. 6 foot with chocolate brown eyes that seemed to look into your soul when he was focused on you, dark lustrous hair and a smile that knew how to make you trust him. He was giving you a smile now, a skeptical smirk that was verging on amusement and you can’t help but smile back.

There had always been something between you and Ben but every time you tried to push it further he had always politely declined it. Or as Jen phrased it ‘he put his career first’. Either way, when he was back in town, despite wanting to spend all of his time with you, you were left feeling confused. You sigh, pushing your sunglasses on top of your head, ignoring the wisps of hair fighting to get into your face.

“To be fair, it was a bet. I was drunk. I lost. She won. Now I have a Tinder account. The end.” You start fiddling with your napkin as Ben cocks his head to the side, weighing your explanation. Finally he says,

“You have to stop betting against Jen in cornhole. There’s a reason she keeps a cornhole set at her house. To make the rest of us look like crap.”

The table laughs and you shake your head.

“Hey! I almost beat her! I just needed one more beer…”

“You had one more beer….” Jen says, smiling behind her menu. You roll your eyes as you pick up your own before you feel your phone vibrate. It had been going off for a while so instead of keeping it in your pocket you throw it on the table. It’s not long before its vibrating again and you ignore it, trying to figure out what you want to order. A couple more minutes go by of buzzing when Cole asks,

“The hell is that?”

“It’s my phone.” You shrug and Ben raises an eyebrow.

“Your phone?” he asks and you both look at each other for a beat before you both go to grab. Jen, who had been watching in amusement, easily snatches it before either of you can grab it.  

“Stooooooppp.” you whine, trying to grab the phone as she looks at your iPhones main screen.

“Holy shit Y/N! You have 200 notifications from Tinder? You freaking started an account last night!” She begins to try to put your phones passcode in to only get a rejected.

“Stop…..I know…I just ignore them. I said I’d sign up for it not that I’d follow through!” you whine more, trying to grab the phone from her.

Jen laughs, throwing the phone to Cole who also tries to input your phone’s lock passcode.

“You changed your passcode again?” Cole frowns and you throw your head back dramatically.

“No! You never knew it. Give me back my phone before you lock me out.”

“May I?” Ben asks. Cole nods, handing the phone to him and your eyes widen. Ben knew your passcode, just like you knew his.

“Ben….” you say, warning in your voice.

He smiles, easily opening your phone and opening the app. Cole starts to say something but Jen kicks him under the table, shaking her head. It’s not long before Ben is frowning, giving the phone back to Cole.

“A lot of guys have messaged you….” He mumbles, taking a sip out of his coffee and you cross your arms over your chest.

“Really?!” Cole and Jen ask in disbelief. Jen jumps from her seat and is over Cole, looking at your phone as he scrolls through each person and message.

“Holy shit!” Jen repeats and you groan as Cole smiles.

“Damn, Y/N, I mean…. some of these guys aren’t the most handsome or successful but some pretty attractive dudes seem to take a liking to you. Some of these guys are CEO’s!” Cole’s eyebrows furrow together and you give another sigh.

“I know! I’m just…. you know…. I wasn’t expecting to get all this attention. I thought it was a game you swipe and then suddenly, these people were messaging me. I stopped swiping for a while…. I mean that parts fun but I seriously don’t want to date these guys.”

“Uh huh…” Cole says, flashing his eyes between Ben who was concentrating on his menu intensely  and yourself. He jabs Jen, who was eagerly looking through profiles to break her attention. She also sees how quiet you both have become and sits down, clearing her throat.

“Whatever, so you’re popular on Tinder. This is LA…. I mean, I’ve always told you that you were hot shit Y/N.”

You laugh, looking back at the menu. Jen was a tall, athletic blonde who could get men to stop what they were doing the minute she entered the room. You knew you were attractive it was just compared to Jen – it was easy to forget at times.

“Can we brunch? I want to hear all about Ben’s adventures in New York and about this party he’s hosting and not about my Tinder profile.” You finally say, noticing that Ben hasn’t said a word since he’s opened your phone. Which, for Ben, was unusual.

He smiles at you, his eyes gleaming from above the menu before the table is engrossed in new conversation.


Two days later, you were at Jen’s house leisurely drinking a beer and swiping through your Tinder. Again. It was all because of what happened after brunch. You and Ben decided to go book shopping, much to Cole and Jen’s displeasure where you both spent hours flirting with each other while sifting through dusty shops. Ben had been more affectionate and yet distant so by the time you both said goodbye, you were left wanting more. Instead of lingering on it – like you normally would - you decided to distract your brain. Because whether you liked Tinder or not, it was a great booster for your confidence.  

“You have an addiction!” Jen yelled from the kitchen, monitoring the meat she was cooking as you fell back on the couch.

“I do not!” you yelled back, laughing knowing she was right. You took another drink of your beer before the next profile popped up. You jumped up from your lying position, coughing on beer as Jen runs into the living room.

“What happened!? Are you ok?” she asks and you shake your head, still choking on beer. You give a large burp, causing her to laugh before you shove your phone in her face.

“Shut the fuck up!” she back pedals, looking at the profile again before looking at you.

Benjamin’s name was on the screen, underneath a charismatic picture of him smiling at the screen. The next photo was of you and him at a friend’s party, freshly pied in the face by Jen and Cole. The next was a selfie you had taken on his phone when you had visited him in New York. Another one from this past Christmas at his place. Then finally, the last photo.  It was a picture of you and him dancing at a friend’s wedding. It was the last dance and you were still recovering from a bad break up so Ben had offered to be your date. Your eyes were contently closed as he kissed your forehead, your hands wrapped around his neck.

“When was this photo taken?” you asked but Jen shushed you, scrolling down at his profile.


London to LA

Loves theater and movies, binging on Netflix, eating, traveling, a nice hike, tennis and a great smile

 Just a dorky British guy trying to get the attention of my fun, intelligent and beautiful friend. Will she swipe right? Or am I stuck with other girls who might find this awkwardly romantic….

I’m in if you are!


You read the profile again, before muttering “I’m swiping left.”

“What!” Jen exclaims, grabbing the phone from you.

“THIS is how he tells me he likes me!? On a Tinder account?” you ask bitterly, still trying to take it all in.

“Who says it’s for you?” she asks deviously. You narrow your eyes.

“Swipe. Left.” You repeat again.

Jen sighs, taking a seat beside you. “I was kidding.” She says defensively and you shrug, throwing your head back, hitting it on the wall.

“Ow.” You moan as Jen chuckles, shaking her head.

“That’s why he likes you y/n. You’re so cute. Even when you’re trying not to be. And….listen I promised I’d never tell you this but I don’t want you to do something stupid if I don’t. Of course, Ben likes you.”

“What?” you ask, your voice flat.

“Ben’s liked you for years Y/N. Cole and I have known forever…. Cole and him are roommates. He drabbles to him all the time about you.”

“If he likes me then….” you ask skeptically and Jen shrugs.

“You know Ben. He’s not going to commit to something if he knows how much it’ll affect that person. He didn’t want his job to interfere with anything for you. Long months apart, late phone calls….he didn’t want to be unfair.”

You cross your legs, shaking your head.

“That’s not his call. Jeez, I hate when does that. Tries to be selfless but really he’s selfish cuz you can’t do that!” You growl, hitting a pillow before looing over at Jen. “Why can’t he tell me things like this?”

“Because he likes you!” Jen exclaims and then sighs. “you know how weird you get when you know he’s going to be around. He feels the same way okay. Give him a little slack.”

You look back down at your phone, then break into a small smile.

“Did Cole put him up to this?”

Jen laughs, shaking her head.

“That night of brunch…. he was sooooo mad I signed you up for Tinder. And that a lot of guys expressed interest…. I think he was afraid that you’d go out and find someone. So, he tells Cole he’s going to make a profile and hope that your profiles cross.”

You laugh now, looking back down at your phone where Ben’s smile was beaming back up at you.

“He does know that it picks up where you live….so between the millions of people that live in LA that probability is like… hella low.”

“That’s what Cole told him!” Jen continues to laugh. “He just shrugged and said it was the only shot he’d have with you.”

You smile, looking back down at the photo of you and him. Ben was sweet and stubborn – once he set his mind on something there was no changing it. You bite your lip, swiping right. Immediately Tinder’s ‘It’s a Match’ pops up.

“Guess its up to him now.” 

Twisted Desires Chapter Nine

Quick Info - Danneel has news for Jensen and gives Y/N something to think about
Word Count - 1981
Warnings - language, angst, fluff,

Part nine of twenty five. Hope you enjoy this series as much as i enjoyed writing it.

This is my first Jensen series. I mean no disrespect toward Jensen or Danneel. This is purely a fictitious story that I tried with Dean but it didn’t work as well. Thank you to @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @tankcupcakes​ and @atc74​ for their beta and encouragement with this series.

Twisted Desires Masterlist

My Masterlist

Twisted Desires Chapter Nine

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13 going on 30 AU

GUYS. I was watching 13 Going on 30 again b/c I’m rom-com trash and I just… I needed a Sterek version. I have no idea if this has been done before, so I just went for it. ~5k, rated T

***

“Do I look cool?” Derek asks, staring at himself in the hall mirror. The leather jacket’s a little big for him — it’s his dad’s — but he thinks it could look okay once he rolls up the sleeves.

Stiles snorts, fiddling with the hem of his baggy plaid overshirt. “You look like one of those drug dealers that hangs out in the park, dude. It’s uncanny.”

Derek gives him the finger.

“Hey, so,” Stiles rummages around in his backpack a minute and comes out with a slender present wrapped in blue tissue paper. “Happy birthday, dude.” 

Derek rips away the wrapping and it’s a comic book, thirty pages, hand-drawn by Stiles himself. 

“Whoa, awesome,” Derek says, flipping it open curiously. “Is this about us? As superheroes?” It looks like Stiles has drawn him as Wolverine, with fangs and bulging biceps, perched on the roof of somebody’s house. 

“Yeah,” Stiles says, grinning, bouncing his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet. “Check it out, I—” and that’s about when the doorbell rings. 

“I’ll look at it later, Kate’s here,” Derek interrupts, pushing past him.

“Oh, uh, okay,” Stiles says, hunching his shoulders. Derek rolls his eyes. Why Stiles expects him to drop everything and read it right this second is beyond him; it’s not like he doesn’t know Derek has a thing for Kate. She’s the hottest girl at their whole school. This is it, his big chance. She can’t see him reading a kids’ book. 

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Just Causing Problems

Originally posted by lipstick-mother-fucker

Single!Jensen x Reader

A/N: Chapter 3 in the Where I Belong series!! I’m so excited for you guys to be requesting this so much and wanted to be tagged in it. Also in this fic, Danneel is a gigantic bitch. I know she’s not really like that and she’s actually an amazing woman, it’s just for the purpose of this work! You’re all so amazing, thank you for sticking it out with me through my hiatus! <3 Sorry if this chapter is a little rusty, I’m getting back into writing after a three month break, love you guys.

Chapter 1-Where I Belong
Chapter 2-Getting to Know You

Warnings: slight angst, language, fighting, Danneel being a huge bitch

Words: 2348

A light shaking woke you from your sleep.

“Y/N. Sweetheart. Wake up, we have to go to set” Jensen rasped out, his voice thick with sleep as he rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t wanna” you whined, nuzzling your face into your pillow.

“Come on we can take naps while we’re on break today” he said, chuckling as he pulled you out of bed and to your feet.

“Thanks for letting me sleep in your guest bed, Jens. I was too tired and a little too tipsy to drive home.”

“Any time, Y/N. I really enjoyed our chinese food and beer last night.”

“So did I” you smiled, thinking back on all of the laughs you had with Jensen the night before. The two of you sat on the floor in front of his couch, eating and drinking and watching The Hangover. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the little things that made you think he wanted to be more than friends. The way he so casually threw his arm around your shoulders and pulled you to his side. The way he held you close and touched his lips to the side of your head and stayed there, as if just keeping that contact with you was enough. But you quickly shook those thoughts from your mind because you and Jensen were just friends… Right?

After you were all dressed and ready to leave, you grabbed your bag and met Jensen at the door.

“Wanna carpool?” you asked, jingling your keys, “I’ll let you drive Lucy.”

“Oh hell yeah!” he grabbed the keys from your hand and a smile stretched across his face.

–A few hours later–

“Y/N, you’ll be with me in the TV room all day today going over footage before the airing of the season. We’ve got a lot of work to do, so bring your A-game and some snacks” Eric laughed as he patted you on the shoulder and walked off towards the proverbial dungeon that the two of you would be stuck in all day.

“Alright Eric, sounds good” you smiled and headed off to the break room to grab some food and some Redbull. You opened the door to the break room to Jensen and Misha having quite the intense conversation and when their eyes met yours Jensen cleared his throat and straightened up and Misha looked away briefly before smiling at you.

“Hey guys” you beamed as you rifled through the cabinet trying to find your big bag of pretzels.

“Hey Y/N” they said in unison. Misha was smiling big and Jensen had more of a tight smile on his face but they still weren’t talking to one another.

“Umm.. Well sorry for interrupting whatever was going on before I got here, I’ll be out of your hair in a sec. I’m just grabbing some food and drinks for me and Eric ‘cause we’ll be in the TV room all day” you said, trying to quicken your pace because honestly the room was getting a little awkward.

“Wait, you won’t be on set today?” Jensen’s face fell when he realized that he wouldn’t see you at all that day. Yet somehow there was a glimmer of relief in his eyes as well.

“Yeah.. Anyway.. See ya later guys” you quickly gathered what you came for and practically bolted out of the room. You didn’t know what was going on, but you knew there was something weird about how the boys were acting.

Half a day in the TV room felt like three years. Your eyes hurt from staring at the screen and you were mentally exhausted from examining every single second of film that came up on screen. People asked you why you didn’t watch any of the shows you worked on, this is why. You’d seen every episode a hundred times over looking for mistakes or missed cues or continuity errors. Eric called it a day early because you had gone over enough episodes to make it well into the season and would wait until a few more were produced to do the next session.

Coming out of the TV room was like letting a vampire out of a cave. You shielded your eyes from the still bright sun and gave your limbs a good stretch. With your eyes closed, you felt something crash into and wrap around your legs, nearly knocking you over. Extremely startled and heart racing, you looked down to see what it was and heard a tiny voice.

“Hi!” the excited little girl said, jumping and waving at you, “You must be new! I’ve met everyone that daddy works with and I’ve never seen you before. I’m JJ!”

“Well hey JJ. I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you” you beamed at the little girl, squatting down and extending a hand to her, but that wasn’t what she had in mind. She jumped up and hugged you wrapping her arms around your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle and lift her up, allowing her to wrap her legs around your waist and then rest her on your hip.

“JJ, what have I told you about tackle-hugging people?” you heard a slightly rough voice that was uniquely Jensen’s ask.

“Daddy!” the little girl squealed as she wiggled out of your arms and to the ground and proceeded to tackle her father to the ground as he squatted down to meet her, the both of them falling back in a fit of laughter. You had to admit, it was really sweet watching Jensen play with her.

“Sorry about that Y/N. JJ here gets pretty affectionate” he laughed, ruffling his daughter’s hair as she ran off to chase Jared around the trailers.

“It’s all good, Jens. I have nieces and nephews that are young and they’re the same way. I actually love kids” you shrugged, grabbing your binder from the ground where you placed it and walking towards your trailer.

“No kids of your own?” he asked, walking in the same direction.

“Uhh.. No. Almost got that serious in a relationship once but I got cold feet and it ended bad. Haven’t really been nailed down since” you rubbed the back of your neck, feeling kind of awkward like you overshared.

“Oh, yeah I kind of get that actually” he cleared his throat and stopped walking when the two of you got to the door of your trailer.

“Y/N! Daddy!” JJ squeaked out as she captured Jensen in a hug and quickly ran over to do the same to you.

“Hey, thanks for making my day, little one” you smiled as you crouched down to give her one last hug before patting her on the head and letting her run off after Jared once more.

“She’s really sweet, Jens. You did well” you smiled, squeezing his shoulder and turning to go back into your trailer to take a nap.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah Jens?” you turned around with your hand holding the door open

“Wanna.. Uhh.. Meet up after work?”

“Yeah” you smiled, “sounds good.”

“Okay great” he chuckled looking satisfied with your answer and left you to take your nap.

–One four hour nap later–

“Y/N!”

The sounds of your name being called and banging on your trailer door woke you up. You got out of bed and went to answer the door in your pajamas, which consisted of sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt with a sports bra underneath.

“What?” you groaned out, still sleepy from your nap.

“Aww, you’re adorable”

You rubbed your eyes and focused on the figures in front of you, Jared and Misha.

“Well, are you gonna let us in?” Misha asked and Jared elbowed him lightly.

“Be nice, Mish. She just woke up” Jared giggled.

“Come in guys” you laughed and rolled your eyes as you went to grab water from the fridge, “you want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good” Misha said as he flopped down on your couch.

“Yeah I’m good too” Jared followed right after Misha and you sat on the chair facing the couch, resting your head back because you were still sleep-ridden.

“So what do I owe you two waking me up from my delightful nap?” you laughed, eyes still closed.

“We heard you stayed over at Jay’s last night” Misha blurted out, a smile stretching across his entire face.

You rolled your eyes at his suggestion, “Don’t get it twisted guys, I slept in his guest bed. Jens and I are just friends.”

Jared cleared his throat and let out a small “Oh.”

“Okay well if you guys are done awkwardly staring at me, I’m gonna go change out of my pajamas” you said as you got out of your chair and went to your room. When you came back out, Jared and Misha were making themselves at home and playing Mario Kart. You flopped down on the couch next to Jared and grabbed a controller, saying that you wanted in on the next round. A few hours passed of you playing video games with the boys, them nearly shoving you off the couch a few times trying to throw you off or make you lose.

“Shit! I said I’d meet Jens to hang out after work like an hour ago” you laughed, grabbing your bag and running out the door. Before the door shut you shouted back to the boys,

“Make sure you shut my TV off before you leave!” and you heard a “Will do!” and a “Have fun!” from the inside of your trailer before the door shut.

You made your way quickly over to Jensen’s trailer and rapped your knuckles on the door.

“Come on in!” you heard him shout from inside. You opened the door and immediately were met with the death stare of Jensen’s wife. Ex-wife.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just come back later” you said with wide eyes, slowly backing out of the trailer.

“No, Y/N. Come in. She was just leaving” Jensen said, pulling you inside and glaring at Danneel.

“Oh so this is the slut you’re bringing around my daughter?” Danneel snapped out, pointing in your direction.

“Uhh whoa, I should definitely leave” you squeaked out, pointing at the door and looking between the fighting couple.

“First of all, she’s our daughter” Jensen growled out, with a firm grip on your arm, successfully trapping you in the trailer, “Second, Y/N here is not a slut and third, she literally met JJ today for about five minutes. So no I’m not ‘bringing her around our daughter.’ JJ just happened to be at the place where I work, with my fucking coworker Y/N.”

“Sure. Act like she’s not a fucking whore, Jay. Trying to be with a man who she presumed to be married until what? Hours ago?” she was talking about you like you weren’t even there and at the same time trying to poison you with her words.

“You ended this Dan, not me! Don’t act all jealous and shit because you’ve seen me spending time with another woman when you’re the one who wanted the damn divorce” Jensen’s voice was getting louder and you could see him growing more angry by the minute.

“Whoa” you spoke up, causing both of them to whip their heads in your direction, “first off, JJ is really sweet and all but I spent about five minutes with her and didn’t even know she was here. She came up to me. Second, Jensen and I aren’t together, Danneel, and honestly if this is the type of crap that you two deal with regularly, I’m going to have to back away from this situation entirely. I’m just gonna go home. We can be civil at work Jensen but I think it’s probably better if we don’t spend any more time together outside of work.”

You turned to walk out the door and your attention was drawn back by a loud crash.

“Mother fucker.” Jensen breathed out, and you could see the bruises beginning to form on his knuckles from punching a hole through the cabinet. Without a word you walked out the door and let it slam behind you, hearing Danneel scream out the word “whore!” once more before you were out of earshot.

Then you heard Jensen clear as day scream “Get the fuck out!” and you heard a door slam hard and some more screaming before you were far enough to not hear the fight anymore.

You weren’t really sure why, but tears began stinging your eyes as you walked to your car, hoping that Jensen had a ride home because the two of you had carpooled that day.

Text Message
To: Jensen
From: Y/N
Hey, do you have a ride home? Still at my car

To: Y/N
From: Jensen
No actually… Mind giving me a ride?

To: Jensen
From: Y/N
Yeah, no prob. Meet me at my car

You waited for Jensen at your car and he showed up with his hand now wrapped in gauze looking defeated.

“Y/N, I’m sor-” he began to speak but you cut him off.

“Jensen I was serious when I said we shouldn’t spend time together outside of work. I’m not leaving you stranded here without a ride because we’re friends but honestly you need to sort your shit out and obviously I can’t be in the equation because it just causes problems” you sighed and turned the car on as you made your way out of the lot and to Jensen’s house.

He simply let out a heavy sigh and the two of you didn’t speak for the whole ride. When you finally got to his house, he shot you a sad look and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but decided against it and got out of the car, mouthing a quick ‘thank you’ before turning around and walking inside.

Again, you weren’t sure why, but tears began flowing as you drove away, watching Jensen walk to his house, very obviously defeated. His shoulders were slumped and he walked slow, without purpose. You lost a friend today and all you could do was cry.


Tags: @speckof-rarity @boredoutofmymindstuff @mannatgalhotra @upon-a-girl @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @supernatural-jackles @princess-joe37 @baronmordo @jensen-jarpad @jotink78 @darkx143 @gay-rainbow-kawaii @agentkenziecaptainamerica

4

El Clásico Baby *Gareth Bale Imagine* For Hannah

—————————————————————————————————-

“Hannah, are you sure you’re going to be okay here left with Tia?” Gareth asked for the umpteenth time

I chuckled, “Gareth I’ll be fine, just go if anything happens we’ll call” I said

He sighed, and kissed my lips. Coming down to eye level he gave me a serious face. “Hannah, what if you go into labor? I’m not going to be here and it’s El Clasico I probably won’t even get there” He said

I grabbed his hands, and gave him a smile. “Gareth, listen you go and play your game. Play it for me and for Kaden, alright if I do end up going into labor I’m not going to deliver right away you know. So go and play”

He smiled, and looked towards Tia my little sister. “Tia, please call me if anything happens”

She nodded, and did a mock salute. Gareth laughed, and left not before looking back one more time. “Doesn’t it suck you can’t go to the game? You’ve gone to everyone since you were a kid. It’s like breaking a tradition” Tia said laying on the floor.

I chuckled, “It’s not breaking tradition, I’m still watching the game. And I’m pregnant so it’s fine with me”

She shook her head. “Well, let’s order some food. Whatcha craven?” She asked pulling out her phone

I thought about it, “Maybe some pizza, Ice Cream!”

She nodded, and called our older sister Jen. “What do you want now Tia? I just saw you” She said

“Well it’s for your pregnant sister” Tia answered

“HANNAH! Oh I’m sorry what’s up?”

“Can you bring me a Pizza and Ice Cream” I said

“Sure I’ll be right over”

“Thank You” We said in unison

Tia hung up and I turned on the TV. The guys were just warming up and I could see Gareth looking around, for someone. When he finally found one of the trainers he talked to them about something.

And that’s when the camera panned to Cristiano. “Oh!My Baby Daddy!” Tia said

I looked at her, “You do realize he has a kid, and I don’t think he’s looking for a young Step-Mom” I said laughing

“A girl can only dream, look at you and Gareth”

I chuckled, and rubbed my tummy. I could feel Kaden, moving around an it really hurt. He was kicking me. I was nearly close to falling asleep, when Jen walked in the house. “I’ve brought the pizza and ice cream” She said

We chuckled, and Tia shared out pizza. “Now it’s time for the games to begin, who’s going for Barca?” Tia asked looking around

“There’s nothing wrong with Barca, I’m friends with Rafaella and Antonella and they’re both lovely people” I said

“So you’re for Barca?”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever Tia, who are you going for?”

“Well, I love me some Cristiano so Madrid. And you Jen?”

“It really doesn’t matter to me”

The game was just about to start, and we all sat around the TV. Karim and Cristiano had the ball, and kicked it. The game went into action, all the boys having a touch on the ball. I began having these little cramps.

They weren’t bad, just tiny cramps. “You okay Hannah?” Jen asked turning to me

“Yeah, I’m good”

As the boys passed, the ball they were getting so close to that goal. And finally boom! Gareth in the top left corner! Tia, Jen and I cheered. But it ended quickly because another one of those mini cramps hit.

Tia and Jen looked over to me. “You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just a mini cramp I’m gonna go get some water and be back” I said getting up

I was in the kitchen when, I felt something wet. Kind of like I was peeing it felt really weird. “Dude, Hannah did you just pee yourself?” Tia asked

“No, I was just-Holy Shit!” I said as it hit me

“You’re going into labor!” Jen said excitedly

I looked at her. “WHAT!”

“It’s time come on let’s go!”

I was kind of frozen, as Tia and Jen went around the house getting the baby bag and putting the food away. Just as Tia opened the door, Jen put an arm around my shoulder and guided me towards the door. “Jen, I can’t do this. I can’t give birth, what if I die?” I rushed out

She laughed, “Hannah, you’re going to be fine trust me”

I was freaking out on the inside, and by the time we got in the car I was going crazy. “I’m going to meet my Nephew!” Tia said in the back

We laughed, and that’s when the real pain hit. I felt the massive cramps, the contractions! Jesus they hurt like a bitch! “Jen just speed up!” I yelled grabbing the seat belt.

“But I’m going to get a ticket” She said

“You guys should’ve let me drive” Tia said from the back

“JEN JUST SPEED UP! IF I END UP HAVING THIS BABY IN YOUR CAR I WILL CRY!” I yelled at her

She looked at me, and then sped up. When we reached the hospital, I was put in a wheel chair, and taken into a room. My clothes changed, and I was on the bed. The pain was getting worse and I couldn’t stand it.

“Hey Babes how we doing in here?” Tia asked coming in

“I just want Kaden out of me!” I groaned

Her and Jen, chuckled and sat on the couch. The doctor came in a few minutes later and said I was ready to push the little bugger out of me. And just as I was about to I suddenly remembered Gareth.

“Okay Mrs. Bale you can start-”

“Wait! Did anyone call Gareth?” I asked

Tia looked at Jen, “I did he’s on his way, they subbed him out” Jen said

I nodded, “How far away is he?” I asked gripping the bed

“Probably like 10 minutes now, unless he drives at his old Grandma speed” Tia said

“10 MINUTES! Jesus I’m going to murder him”

“Um I know you’d like to wait for the Father Mrs.Bale but this baby is ready to come out, and right now” The Doctor spoke up

“Sir you don’t understand, the Father is Gareth Bale and he’d very much like to be here for the birth of his first child”Tia said

His eyes, somewhat bugged out. “If that’s what you want to do, it’s not advised but we can-“

“Alright I’m here, I’m sweaty but I’m here!” Gareth said breathing up and down

“You changed your clothes?” I asked

“Well yeah, I’m meeting my son for the first time I don’t want to be sweaty and in a kit” He said shrugging

The girls laughed, “Alright well then let’s have this baby” The Doctor said

Now let me tell you, that birth was the worst thing I went through. I think I almost broke Gareth’s hand, it was that red. I kept yelling at him, things I never thought I’d say to him. But it was completely worth it because we had an El Clasico baby.

And Real Madrid ended up winning that game, and later the guys all stopped by to see the blue eyed Kaden.

By the Lake

actionncatt submitted

Okay this is sort of long, but here it goes.

Around 2009 or 2010, I had gone to the lake one morning with my friend and her two young daughters (I think they were something like 5 and 3 respectively).  It was a somewhat early, foggy autumn morning and when we got to the lake, there were only about two or three other cars in the parking lot.  As we walked around a bit, the only other people there we saw were adults; couples and such.  

My friend, Jennifer, had brought a disposable camera and was taking pictures of things.  Her oldest daughter had asked if she could take some pictures.  I called her a “little photographer” and she started crying, because she didn’t know what a photographer was and thought I was calling her a frog.

As she was crying, Jennifer and I were both trying to calm her down by explaining to her that I didn’t call her anything bad.  Then we notice a little girl standing just a few feet in front of us.  I immediately noticed how oddly she was dressed for the season and the decade in general; she had on a white dress, not stark white, but a dingy white, and a red sweater.  She had on white socks and black mary jane type shoes.  She also had a scratch under her right eye.  I noticed all of this, but nothing seemed weird at the time.

The little girl asked why Jennifer’s daughter was crying, and I don’t remember what we responded with, but then we took her daughters to use the restroom.  Naturally, the little girl followed us in.  She walked down to the last stall in the bathroom, went in, and started singing a song that none of us were familiar with.  I don’t remember hearing her actually going pee or anything.  I just remember the singing.  I started feeling kind of weird at that point.  Jen and I exchanged sort of uneasy looks and I, laughing nervously (it happens), said “I’m just gonna wait for you outside.” and she tried to quietly stop me but I left.  In retrospect, that was kind of mean.

So I went outside, and noticed that some of the cars had left, meaning even less people were at the lake.  It was just our car, and one other car in the parking lot.  Then Jen, her two daughters, and the little girl came out of the restroom and Jen looked really uncomfortable.  Jen tells me that the little girl kept talking to her while they were in the bathroom.  When Jen asked why she was alone, the little girl had said that her mom and brother were on the walking trail and that she was waiting for them.  That was weird to us, since it was an early morning in the middle of fall with nobody around.  It just didn’t make sense to us that a little girl would be alone.  Then the girl said to us “It’s my birthday tomorrow.  I’m going to be eight.”

Nothing the little girl said was creepy in itself, but there was something about the her that made us uneasy.  So we started to tell the girl that we had to go. She asked us to stay longer, and for some reason, we felt the need to lie to her.  We told her we had to go to work, which we didn’t.  Then she asked “Who is going to take care of your girls?”  And Jen said “My mom will.”  And at this point, we’re sort of inching away from her.  The little girl then asked “Can they stay with me?”  And Jen said “No, their grandma will watch them.” And the little girl started almost begging that the girls be allowed to stay at the lake with her.  She was very insistent on it.  

Finally, we tell her that we really do have to go, and we start walking away.  The little girl starts walking in the same direction, but then Jen says “Hold on, take a quick picture of me and the girls before we go” so I did.  And as I was taking the picture, the little girl walked past us and over towards this little playground.  The playground was completely within my eyesight the entire time.  But at some point, the little girl basically vanished.  She wasn’t at the playground, and she wasn’t anywhere that we could see.  And honestly, we were able to see in all directions for quite a distance and the little girl was nowhere.  No people or cars had left in that span of time either.

Jen and I were astounded.  We walked over to the playground to try to see…well I don’t know what we were expecting, but we had to go over there.  There was nobody there.  All we found was a pile of small rocks covered with a tissue.

So we booked it back to her car at that point, because everything about the setting and the experience was creepy.  Of course it would happen on a foggy autumn morning.  So Jen got out the keys and unlocked the car.  The locks went up for only a split second before going back down again.  No matter how many times Jen tried to unlock the car, the locks would just lock themselves again.  Finally, I timed it just right and was able to open the door in the brief moment of un-locked-ness before the locks went down again.  I managed to let everyone in from the inside, and Jen put the girls in their seats, and the key in the ignition.  But when she tried to start the car, all of the lights flashed; blinkers, headlights, all of them.  They flashed and the horn honked maybe four times rapidly before Jen started the car.

She called her mom before we left, and her mom said it sounded like it was a spirit that was lonely and wanted the girls to stay and keep her company.  I suggested to Jen that it might have been something a bit more sinister, and maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I did.  We were silent the entire drive home.

Fuck Yeah Nightmares Mod Fey: 9/10 for scares and thank you for sharing!

chrisevarph  asked:

Do you have any headcanons for Farkle's relationships with his family as he grows up? -- Donniebaarnes

ooooooooooooooooooooohh boy you have just opened up a can of worms this may or may not end up more rant-y and full of speculations than headcanon-y I’m sorry in advance

  • Okay I am just so…suspicious about why Jennifer Basset is Farkle’s mom
  • Like OMFG
  • Okay I get from some perspective it’s cool to have another Double Legacy child other than Riley (and Auggie) and it could be used to argue for riarkle but WOW SO RANDOM??
  • Especially since Jen and Stuart never interacted on BMW. But seriously…Why Jen? There’s like a plethora of other guest characters they could have used! Wendy? TK? Lauren? Topanga’s girl friend who just kinda vanished when Angela showed up? The girl Shawn agreed to become ‘Veronica’ for? Like all these ladies had the same amount of screen time with Stuart (which is none) and had just as much a chance of marrying and reproducing with him.
  • What do we all know about Jennifer from bmw? She’s smart, manipulative, petty, and batshit. And they even referenced some of that on the one gmw episode we’ve seen her in, and she just brushed it off as if kidnapping and handcuffing Shawn to a boathouse is a normal teenage mistake omfg
  • Also we’ve seen Stuart on the show 4 times now and Jen one which makes me wonder
  • So why make her Farkle’s mom if they make him barely like her? (Because really…he's barely like her omg.) Well, from a writing perspective, I personally would use this to the advantage to make Farkle more like the Shawn character on GMW
  • Like I know it’s been set up as Maya, but really, what do Shawn and Maya actually have in common?
  • Shawn dealt with being dirt poor, and homeless a few times. An alcoholic father, a mother who ran away all the time even though she claimed to love him (Who also later sent him a letter saying ‘I’m not your real mom never contact me again’). When his mother was there, his parents fought all the time, loud enough that he would run away to Cory’s place sometimes. His father’s alcoholism was mostly crippling, meaning they had very little income because Chet wasn’t able to keep a job. Was frequently left home alone. We knew Chet loved Shawn (and Virna claimed to), but both parents were completely incapable of showing it. Acted out with all of his authority figures as a way of coping.
  • Maya’s father walked out when she was five, money is tight but she’s still middle class, very smart but decides not to try in school, has a bumpy relationship with her mother but that’s mostly because Maya chooses to put the distance there??? Katy is no Chet or Virna. She does absolutely nothing but bust her ass to make sure she can afford to give Maya everything she needs, and even though she’s busy she does reach out. Maya chooses to go to the Matthews, who she teases but has clear respect for, instead of her mom. Katy let Maya hate her for years because she wanted her to think well of Kermit. She actively does everything she can for her daughter and lets her know she loves her/is proud of her. And even in Girl Meets Forgiveness, we got to see Kermit give Maya the closure that Virna never gave Shawn- he understands he massively fucked up and doesn’t expect her to ever forgive him, but he is sorry and he does care about her.
  • Now. Okay. Farkle. His situation won’t match up /entirely/ with Shawn’s, because Shawn was so poor they could barely afford clean water sometimes, while Farkle’s the son of a multibillionaire. But that’s good, from a writing stand point. Telling a story similar but different, you know? Okay, anyway, we know Stuart and Jen fight. Constantly. We know Jen runs out on Stuart constantly, but always comes back anyway. Just from their, like, 3 scenes together in GM I Am Farkle, we see that she’s clearly in control in the marriage. We know their fighting is so bad things are being thrown at each other. It’s never said on the show, but Farkle spends more time hanging out on Riley’s fire escape than anywhere else. With him mentioning his parents all the time, it makes me feel like he’s there to get away from the yelling. His relationship with Stuart shows clear affection, but also seems strained. We know Stuart gets swamped at work a lot and Farkle’s left home alone quite often. Where Shawn had a problem of his parents unable to find work, Farkle’s parents seem to work too much to worry about him sometimes. So it’s set in a different situation, but it’s the same feelings of emotional neglect, of hearing your parents screaming at each other all the time, of feeling trapped in a bad situation. And Farkle also has started acting out in school a little bit- nothing drastic like letting his grades drop, but he does call Cory names and in the beginning of GM New Teacher, when the old guy didn’t turn up to class, he smirked at Maya and said “Did we do it? Did we finally break him?” Obviously implying he had a big hand in antagonizing the man into retirement, which just doesn’t seem like something you’d expect from the son of Stuart Minkus omg
  • So, personally, I would use all this and expand more on Stuart and Jen’s problems, focus more on how they effect Farkle, and bring him up to a more Shawn-like role.
  • Say, Stuart and Jen’s fighting gets a lot worse so he’s spending more and more and more time at the Matthews apartment
  • And no one thinks much of it at first but he really starts getting snarky and looking sleep deprived and acting out and his grades are slipping a bit so everyone’s getting concerned
  • And they eventually figure out his parents have gone from one or two arguments a week to screaming at each other almost every day
  • They could probably get a divorce at some point and see how a custody battle would effect him.
  • Maybe Jen would want to move back to Philly and we could get a retelling of the “Topanga forced to move to Pittsburg” storyline
  • Cory and Farkle could take on a more Turner and Shawn dynamic because that’s all I want in this life
  • They could dedicate time to Stuart once again trying to fix him and he’s sons relationship.
  •  Like obviously they love each other but it’s strained and THEY DID NOT CALL FARKLE PIPPIN FOR A THROWAWAY JOKE I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT
  • If Farkle is really identifying with Pippin then that’s something to be concerned about but it would also be a great plotline to watch play out- and one problem Pippin has is his father has way too many expectations he doesn’t feel he can live up too
  • That’s another great parallel with Shawn- Shawn had no pressure or expectations put on him, he felt like the universe wanted him to fail. Farkle would be in the complete reverse of that situation I AM GEEKING OUT FROM A WRITER STANDPOINT RIGHT NOW JESUS CHRIST COULD YOU IMAGINE
  • And come on, anyone with eyes can tell that something is up with Farkle lately- even though he’s no longer “Donnie Barnes”, he’s still acting a lot different than he used to. He’s not as animated or hyper, he almost never sounds excited anymore- with the exception of him being happy for science class in STEM, almost everything that comes out of his mouth any more sounds…tired. Like, forced almost. He just has like a defeated air about him. Do you know what I mean??? And I can get wanting to stop dressing how he did because classmates, but it’s a big jump to go from bright colors into all black and greys. A lot of tv shows tend to use characters in all dark colors to show that they’re depressed or going through a rough time.
  • And we saw his friends worry at first but then drop the subject. We’ve never seen his parents comment on it- hell, we’ve literally only seen Jen interact with him in one episode, and even that was a little weird omfg
  • So basically I need them to bring both actors back and chop chop on an overarching Farkle plotline omfg
  • But since they seem to have an easier time bringing Lee Norris in- Farkle eventually telling his dad he doesn’t want to take over Minkus International COULD YOU IMAGINE
  • Or Farkle snapping and fighting with his dad about why Stuart and Jen can’t get their acts together
  • We can finally figure out how the hell Stuart and Jen even happened in the first place
  • I mean like an explanation other than “She told me to marry her”
  • That line alone is on my radar holy shit could you imagine if they took the time to talk about how men can be caught in abusive relationships too???? How they barely get any attention or people don’t believe them???? OMFG
  • There is just so much that could be done with Farkle and his family I’m freaking out just thinking about it I cannot write a couple of solid headcanons because it would just spur out into an entire fucking season of this show
  • I’m sorry omfg
Messages We Never Heard (A Short Fic)


My first attempt to write a Joshifer fanfic and this will be a part of a short short series. Enjoy!

                                                  ###


Josh

Dec. 25, 2013 0:02 am

“Hello this is Jen.”

Her voice greets me as I hold my phone to my ear. “You’ve reached my voicemail so… do I really need to explain it? You know what it means. Anyways, leave me a message after the beep.” What follows that isn’t a beep though. It’s a fart sound and it’s so stupid that it makes me smile.

Jennifer Lawrence and her fart jokes sure never fail me.

“Heeeey.” I begin and for a moment I forget the reason why I called.The flickering lights from the room across the windows where I’m standing near at makes me remember. “Merry Christmas! I heard that you’re in London. How’s the holidays over there? I hope you’re not just watching TV the whole day and—” I pause. Not because I want to, but because I realize that’s where my message has stopped when I thought about what to say to her earlier.

It’s weird that I do that now whenever I call or text her. With Jen, everything is usually spontaneous and natural. It doesn’t matter what I tell her. We can be as crazy as we want with each other. We’re like the old couples in When Harry Met Sally. We’re great together. I am her rock. She loves me. But maybe that’s how it was before and maybe it’s different now.

Three minutes. Somehow I’m able remind myself about the time limit and then begin talking again. “Yeah, uh, say hi to Nick and his family for me, will you? I see you soon. Enjoy the—”

“Sorry. Your call has been disconnected. Please press 1 to record your message again.”

“What the—?!”

“Hey, who are you calling?” I turn around and see Claudia standing at the door. She looks cute in her Santa dress with her hair laid down in big curls. She knows I like it that way. But from the look on her face, I can see that she’s worried and I suddenly begin to feel the same way too. Did she hear me? What if she did? She never says it but I know she feels uncomfortable whenever Jen’s name is mentioned and for some reason, I know too that I can’t blame her for it.

“A-Andrew.” I reply, shoving my phone back to my pocket. “I was calling Andrew b-but he hung up on me. Weird, right?”

Her expression lightens up, probably relieved by my answer and I feel a twinge of guilt hits me because I hate lying to people. I hate lying and hurting people. “Maybe he’s out tonight, you know. It’s Christmas eve there after all.” I hear myself mumbling something back to her which sounds like “yeah, you’re probably right” but I don’t meet her eyes. My gaze is fixed on the floor.

“And speaking of Christmas, I have a gift for you and I want you to claim it…” Claudia adds with a playful tone in her voice. I sense her making her way to me and by the moment I lift my head, she’s already in front me. She leans in, her lips brushing lightly against mine as she whispers, “In my room.”

In spite of the lies and guilt on my side, the small intimate moment brings out an easy smile on my face. Everything is screaming sweetness and perfection to me when all of a sudden, my phone starts to vibrate and I’m brought back to reality. “Wait, let me just check this.” I tell her and fish my phone out of my pocket.

Jen’s name flashes brightly on the screen and my body freezes. She’s calling me. From London. Jen’s calling me from London while I’m here now in front of my girlfriend who doesn’t like her. Merry Christmas to me.

I think I hear Claudia asking me who it is but all that’s repeating inside my mind is this question: London or Spain? London or Spain? London or Spain? London or Spain?

It’s different now. I remind that to myself again. I’m in Spain. She’s in London. She’s with him and I’m with her. Everything’s different now. We used to be like the old couples in When Harry Met Sally. We used to be great together. I used to be her rock. She loved me and I loved her. But I guess I’m just not worth the risk.

I turn off my phone before the feeling leaves me and throw it to the nearby couch. “Who was it?” Claudia asks again but I just shake my head in return and place a kiss on her forehead. She doesn’t need to know.

“Can I get my Christmas gift now?”

Jennifer

December 31, 2013 11:45 pm

“FUCK YOU JOSHUA RYAN HUTCHERSON!”

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve shouted that tonight but every time I do it, Rosanna bursts out laughing and even though I don’t find anything funny about it, I join her each time. Because I’m drunk. It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m drunk with Nick’s sister and Nick is somewhere in the bar drinking with his fucking friends. Tell me, now who am I supposed to kiss here at 12 o’clock? Rosanna?!

“Why are you so angry with Josh?” She is obviously in a much worse state than I am because her speech is now slurred and I’m just able to decode what she has said because she has been asking that question to me for the umpteenth time.

“Weren’t you listening to me?” Maybe it’s the alcohol or the lack of familiar company but tonight I’m more patient than usual and I repeat everything to her again. “Because that fucking Hutcherson ignored my call! He’s never done that before and I’m so angry at him! Fuck him!”

Rosanna chuckles with that and then surprises me when she says, “Oh yeah, I’ll sure fuck him. Bet he has some nice set of twigs and berries.”

“Hey!!!” I hit her hard on the arm but she just laughs back like it’s nothing. I swear alcohol sure makes people numb. “He’s MY rock. No one else can touch him!”

“Well if he’s YOUR rock,” she pauses to take a sip from her drink before turning to me again. “Why the hell are you dating my brother?”

That catches me off guard and I’m stunned, unable to speak for a few seconds. Then I remember we’re both drunk so there’s no way she’s serious about that question. “Because— I don’t really— Would you please stop asking me difficult questions? A-And besides,” I rummage through my head for something to change the topic as I gulp down the rest of my vodka and immediately find one. “Josh will never sleep with you. You’re not his type. You’re white and blonde and he has a thing for brunettes and olive skin.”

Like Katniss. And you, my dear, you are fucking Katniss Everdeen.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice tells me that but I quickly shove the thought away. Hell, I’m not Katniss! My hair’s naturally blonde and my skin’s so white you can practically count my freckles without the help of a microscope.

“What??!” Rosanna asks and I look at her strangely.

“What what?!”

“You just said something about hair, freckles, and microscope. Are you already drunk?”

Someone please tell me I did not say all of that out loud. And in front of Nick’s sis.

“Haha! Saaaaaaays the one who can’t even talk properly! You’re the one who’s drunk!” I bluff and for the first time, thank myself for being an Academy award winner. “You know what? Screw this, I’ll call him! I’ll call Josh and let him have it!”

“You do that guuuurrrl!” She grins at me and then stands up from her stool. “I, however, better go to that dance floor and get myself some nice twigs and berries to take home, baby.”

I watch Rosanna clumsily dance her way to wherever she’s heading before finally grabbing my phone from my purse. I search for Josh’s name and without any hesitation, tap the call button. This time, I hear the dial tone and I wait because I’m surprisingly patient tonight.

After a few rings, my wait is soon rewarded.

“Hello, J—?”

“FUCK YOU JOSH! I TRIED CALLING YOU BUT YOU TURN OFF YOUR PHONE ON ME?! HOW DARE YOU??!!

“Wait—”

“DON’T YOU EVER SAY WAIT FUCKER! ARE YOU HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH YOUR PRETTY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW THAT YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO CALL ME??! BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, I’LL TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! BECAUSE I’M NOT JEALOUS! HELL YEAH I’M SOOOO NOT JEALOUS! AND NO I’M NOT DRUNK CALLING YOU RIGHT NOW! I’M PERFECTLY FINE HERE BY MYSELF AND I’M VERY MUCH ENJOYING NEW YEAR’S EVE! IN FACT, I HAVE TONS OF PEOPLE AROUND ME RIGHT NOW! I DON’T EVEN MISS YOU! SO SUCK IT ASSHOLE!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!”

Then, silence.

“Well, Happy New Year to you too.” He greets back and I find myself frowning because he’s speaking in an accent that is all too familiar. I look back at the screen and carefully examine the name flashing there. My jaws literally drop open as the realization finally drops its full weight on me.

“This is Liam by the way.”

                                                    ###

Next: Messages We Never Saw

A Brief History of Jennifer Lawrence and Woody Harrelson’s Love for Each Other

Jennifer Lawrence likes her Hunger Games co-star Woody Harrelson so much that, in this month’s Vanity Fair cover story, she tells V.F. contributing editor Sam Kashner that she does not even care that Harrelson is a raw vegan—high praise coming from a Cool Ranch Doritos carb fiend who dismisses gluten-free diets as “the new cool eating disorder.” Harrelson so appreciates Lawrence that he spent an hour talking to Kashner about his Hunger Games co-star for the piece. We’ve compiled the pair’s latest round of compliments for each other (many of which did not make the cover story), with their past praises for a compendium of their on-the-record love fests.

Woody Harrelson: [On the first time they met] I have this hippy bus that I call “The Mother Ship.” And I was in there—I can’t remember what I was doing, but, anyway, I was in there, and I hear someone coming up the steps. And I hear her voice before I see her … [V.F. outtake]

Jennifer Lawrence: I was so nervous [to meet Woody]. I had been practicing what I was going to say in my trailer because I couldn’t decide if I was going to go with “Hey, how are ya, I’m Jen!” or “Hi Woody, it’s such an honor to meet you, I’m Jennifer.” [Entertainment Weekly]

Harrelson: And she says, “Hi, Woody. It’s Jen Lawrence. I just wanted to say”—and then she comes into view, you know, and she sees immediately that I have a yoga swing in there. She goes, “Is that a sex swing?” [Laughter] I said, “Well, I guess it could be.” … It’s like she doesn’t have a censor. I really love that in people—I guess some people I don’t love it in, but in her it’s wonderful. [V.F. outtake]

Lawrence: [Woody’s Hunger Games character] Haymitch is this drunk, seemingly I-don’t-care guy, but then Woody’s got the sweetest, kindest eyes. When he looks at you and when you see him on camera you just see love and tenderness and caring. He has that rough look and that rough Haymitch way of talking, but all of it is betrayed by his eyes. [Entertainment Weekly]

Harrelson: She’s a deep gal … she feels things really deeply. And as soon as she feels it, she reacts immediately and, you know, almost like a child would react immediately, as opposed to an adult who sometimes takes in something and, you know, there’s a delay… . She’s so true, it’s staggering. [V.F. outtake]

Lawrence: Woody Harrelson is one of my closest friends in the entire world. [V.F. outtake]

Harrelson: She’s one of my favorite people on the planet, and I can’t imagine my life without her… . When I think about the fact that I did turn down The Hunger Games [at first] and had to be [talked into it by director Gary Ross], I think to myself the thing that I would miss more than anything—you know, certainly, I’d want to be a part of The Hunger Games just generally in the other aspects, but not getting to know Jen is just, like, inconceivable. [V.F. outtake]

Lawrence: The two of them [Woody Harrelson and Lenny Kravitz] are so weird because normally when you’re in famous people’s presence, the last thing you are is relaxed, but they both have this calming vibe about them. [Den of Geek]

Harrelson: I am, sometimes, I’ve got to admit, a bit of a butthole this way, but I will try to make people laugh sometimes during a scene, you know. And so—but you can’t, you just can’t make her laugh, she’s so in it. And, actually, the times I have tried to, it just shamed me because she was so just completely in the scene; it just shamed me for being outside of the scene, you know. [V.F. outtake]

Lawrence: Woody and I have never really spoken about acting. We’re very similar. Francis [Lawrence] always makes fun of me, because I show up on set and I have no idea what we’re doing or even if I have a line. So he’ll text me in the morning: “Do you have any idea what we’re doing? No? O.K., let me tell you.” And last year Woody goes, “Man! I’ve never worked with somebody who makes me feel like I’m workin’ too hard!” [Vanity Fair]

Harrelson: I watched her grow into amazingly the biggest female star in the world, you know. And it’s staggering to me how much she’s been able to just hold onto her basic decency and just her amazing marvelous spirit, you know, which is always nurturing other people. And like, she’s always involved all the time with—she helps people, she does things. She’s very maternal, in a way. I think she’ll make a great mother. [V.F. outtake]

Lawrence: Woody is perfection. [Entertainment Weekly]

Harrelson: I take my hat off to her because, you know, it’s easy for someone to become an asshole when they get that much attention and you get that many people telling you you’re great. You know, it’s not terrible, the people telling you you’re great; what’s a terrible thing is when you start believing it. [V.F. outtake]

Lawrence: Woody Harrelson in a cropped top was my favorite … He got really hot [at a party] and wanted to borrow a shirt of mine because he wore a thermal and the only thing he could fit in was a baggy crop top. And the best part is nobody mentioned it! The whole party, like nobody said anything. They’re just like, “Yeah, Woody’s in a crop top.” [People]

Harrelson: Jennifer doesn’t have a trace of arrogance … She’s not trying to put on any airs or be anyone she’s not. She’s the real deal. She’s just this frickin’ amazing gal from Kentucky who hit it big. [Rolling Stone]

Lawrence: [At a party she and Woody] started a thing called Sanchez, which is where you snap your finger and swipe it across somebody’s face. We were licking our fingers and swiping it. So somebody invited his wife over, and she came in with a friend, and they were both in dresses and high heels. When they walked in, I was chasing Woody over a couch. We flipped the couch over and he was shoving a sock down my throat. So we had fun. And then we went to this amazing mansion and started doing cartwheels.” [Vanity Fair]

Harrelson: She is one-of-a-kind, man. She is so herself. [Vogue]

Lawrence: Woody. I love Woody. [Vanity Fair]

source

Unexpected (The Vision)

“What happened to J.A.R.V.I.S?” She asked. “He’s gone.” Tony said. “Gone? How?” Y/N asked. “The reason I sent you on the wild goose chase with Sam was because I did something wrong.” Tony said.

“What happened?” Y/N asked as she put her hand on her old brother’s shoulder. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to build a suit of armor around the world and it back fired in my face.” He said.

“Ultron.” Y/N said. “How do you know about that?” Tony asked. “I snoop around too, you know.” She said. “Well, yeah. Anyway, he made some Android and almost fully implanted his conscious into it so, when we got our hands on it, I used J.A.R.V.I.S as a replacement.” Tony explained.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “It’s fine.” He sighed. “Well, now that there’s a new Avengers team, they called and asked if it helped design some new tech.” Y/N told him.

“Why didn’t they ask me?” Tony said. “Steve said that you’re building Pepper a house on a farm.” She told me. “Wow, Cap doesn’t understand sarcasm.” Tony smiled.

“And I honestly thought you two were dating.” She admitted. “Who? Me and Cap?” He asked. “Yeah, after what Romanoff told me.” She said. “Well, when do you have to go?” He asked. “Right now.” She looked at her wrist watch.

“Be careful with Sam’s New wing pack, I just designed it, but I thinking that it would help if there was something that he use besides shooting guns.” Tony said.

“I think I have a few ideas. I’ll talk to you later.” Y/N kissed his cheek. “And call me ten minutes before the meeting with the senators so I can prepare for the video chat.” She said. “Don’t worry.” Tony said.

“Seriously, don’t say anything stupid. They already want to keep us on a leash, we can’t have them do that with the rest of the team.” She said. “I won’t, promise.” Tony said. “Now go. The jet will leave you.” He joked.

“Isn’t the point of owning my own private jet is so I could tell it when to go?” She said to make fun of him. “Shut up and go.” Tony laughed.

***

“Well, he did a great job with the structure.” Y/N commented as Steve showed her around the camp. “Yeah, and it’s about fifteen acres.” Steve told her. “Damn, he went all out for you guys.” She said and he smiled.

“So, when I meet the new team?” She asked him. “Right now actually. We’re going to have a meeting in five minutes.” Steve said. “Lead the way, Captain.” Y/N bowed. “Alright, let’s go.” Steve laughed.

“Nat!” Y/N said happily as she saw the red head talking to Sam and a young woman. “Y/N, glad you’re here.” Natasha said and have her a hug. “Glad to be here.” She smiled at the woman. “My name is Y/N Stark.” She said.

“Wife of Mr. Stark?” The woman asked in a deep sovokian accent. “Oh God no!” Y/N laughed. “I’m his sister.” She said and the woman shook her hand. “Wanda Maximoff.” She smiled.

“Sam, great to see you again.” Y/N said. She and Sam did their little hand shake they made up while she and him were hunting down Bucky. “You here about the wing pack?” He asked. “And…other.” She said.

“You joining the team?” He asked. “Oh God no. Tong would never give me permission.” She said. “You’re 24.” He said. “And he’s still my legal guardian because…reasons.” She said and Sam nodded.

The four sat down and began a conversation, that was until Y/N heard a familiar voice. “J.A.R.V.I.S?” She said then turned her head. “No, Y/N, it’s-” Nat said but Y/N walked up to Cap and saw he was talking to a man with red skin and a green suit with a yellow cape.

“Y/N this is…we call him Vision.” Steve said. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Stark.” Vision said. “You sound like-”

“J.A.R.V.I.S, yes I am well aware.” He said and Y/N stared at him in awe. “This is so weird. As I kid, I feel asleep with J.A.R.V.I.S reading to me bedtime stories. Well, they were more Shakespeare than bedtime stories, but still.” Y/N finished.

She then felt her phone vibrate. “I’ve got to go. You guys have fun.” Y/N said as she answered the call. “Give me three minutes so I can get to my room and set up the computer.” Y/N said.

“Hurry.” Tony said. “I just got here, okay?” Y/N asked she found her room. “I know. I have the place surrounded with cameras.” Tony said. “I didn’t know J.A.R.V.I.S read to you.” Tony said.

“Yes you do. You programmed him to do it.” Y/N said and set up the laptop. “They’re here.” Tony whispered sharply. “Shut up and video call me.” Y/N said and hung up.
A pop-up the showed up. ‘KingTonyS would like to chat.’ She laughed and accepted. “Ms. Stark. So nice of you to join us.” Jen said.

“Sorry I couldn’t meet in person. I’m on a job in Wisconsin.” Y/N said. “We are well aware of your current location.” Alan said harshly.

“Lets get to the point. You assholes have my brother and I being supervised 24/7 and we now have restrictions to where we can go, who we can talk to and what we can search on our personal computers.

And now you want us to work for you, with an even tighter leash around our necks, and drag the other Avengers into this. Am I correct?” Y/N said and Tony’s eyes were almost out of his head.

“We are willing to make a new offer.” Jen said. “What offer?” Y/N asked. “We are willing to cut the supervision and the restrictions, if you brother and you join our new project.” Alan said.

“What kind of project?” She asked. “After the incessant with Ultron, we can’t have people with your powered skills creating havoc, so next month we will introduce the restriction act.” Alan said.

“What?” Tony asked. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. The registration act is just a form of safety that we clearly need. You will just be working for the government and will have a slight restriction.” Jen explained.

“And if we don’t agree?” Y/N asked. “Prison.” Jen said. “I want to speak with my brother, alone.” She requested and the two senators left.

“What do you think?” Y/N asked. “Well, I think I made a great decision making you my lawyer.” Tony commented. “Tony, seriously.” Y/N said.

“I think it’s a great idea. I made a disaster with Ultron and many people died. It was my fault and I do think we need this.” He said. “I do too, but…Will the rest of the team?” She asked.

“What do you mean?” Tony asked. “I don’t think that Steve will be fond of the idea of working for the government, especially if that would mean any harm towards Bucky.” She explained.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. They won’t release the Act until next month and we’ll have enough time to get them to agree.” Tony said. “Alright. Well, I’m gonna go. Tell them something came up and I had to leave.” Y/N said.

“I’ll call you later.” Tony said. “Bye.” Y/N smiled and hung up. She closed her laptop and laid her head on the desk. “What am I gonna do?” She asked herself.

She then heard a knock. “Who is it?” She asked. “Vision.” He said. “Come in.” Y/N said as she stood up and straightened herself. “Hello.” He said. “Hey.” She said back.

“I have to ask. How?” Y/N said. “How what?” He asked. “How are you even real? I mean, I’ve seen and done amazing technology that’s sent us a century into the evaluation, but not you.” She said and observed him.

“It’s truly amazing.” Y/N said. “Thank you.” He smiled. “And you’re worthy of wielding the hammer.” She added. He nodded, “That’s amazing.” She said.

“So, why did you come here?” She asked him. “I was just coming to ask about the conversation between the senators.” He said. “How did you know?” She asked.

“I am an A.I.” He commented. “You really are a product of my brother’s.” She giggled and he smiled.

“Could you keep this between us? I can’t have people know about the Registration Act until they introduce it themselves.” Y/N said and he nodded.

“I’m also wondering, can…someday get the chance to, I want to say analysis but that sounds weird, how about…observe? I really want to know more about you.” She said.

“I am more than a computer.” He said looking into her eyes and feeling something in him that made him smile a little. “I would also want to know about Vision.” She smiled back at him.