it feels like so much of my fandom has been a lie

Hi guys! As you can see in the poster above, I just reached 12K followers! Thank you so much for your utmost support and never-ending warm messages. Despite the overwhelming happiness, I am sad to announce that I am leaving Tumblr.

I know this appears to be sudden, especially after hitting such a milestone. Though to be completely honest, I’ve been thinking about it for months now. And I kept delaying said thought for the reasons of wanting to make gifs and my mutuals’ advises.

However,  I can’t lie to myself. Although being a gif-maker gives me plenty of rush and excitement, I no longer feel happy here on Tumblr. Every time I log onto my account, I keep seeing negativity on my dash (either about Seventeen or the fandom, even my friends or myself). Not to forget the amount of hate I get, plus the constant reposting done by reposters. I know I sound like a whiny baby right now, but having to keep up this blog has become a ‘task’ rather than a hobby.

I just want to rest.

Of course, I’ll still keep supporting SEVENTEEN as a Carat. I don’t know why but I feel that I haven’t contribute much to SEVENTEEN and the fandom, so I’ve decided to focus on a fansite [ @int-carats ] I’m currently running with other few members, working on respective birthday supports we are/will be handling. If you are interested to join or support us in any way, do visit International Carats [twitter: int_carats]. Currently, we are finalising Anniversary Project, simultaneously handling Jun and Hoshi’s Birthday Support.

I’ll still be providing updates + translations on my Twitter [@leewooji96] (especially for the upcoming Asia Tour as I might be going to all listed countries). I’ll continue writing Jicheol fics, even occasionally post gifs on Twitter. I just want to focus on supporting SEVENTEEN, doing things that make me happy. Rather than dealing with negativity and keeping up with something that might push me further into depression.

With that being said, I want to thank all of you for being the best mutuals and followers ever. I wish to address each and everyone of you personally, but it’ll make it harder for me to say goodbye. I did record several videos for those who have a special place in my heart, but I ended up crying most of the time, thus decided it’s best to not include them here. I’m sorry if I forgot to include any of you (mutuals especially) for  I can’t remember all, given that I keep wanting to cry. It took me a good one hour to finish this whole post. Still, do know that I am thankful to every single person here.

I am sorry for the past mistakes I’ve done. If I by chance did I hurt your feelings or made you angry in any way, please forgive my insensitive and inattentive self. As for this blog, I won’t be taking it down. I might come back or might not at all. But no need to worry as I’ll still leave my gifs here, available to be used. The reason why I made gifs is for Tumblr anyway, so yeah. Besides, this is the least I can do after hitting such an amazing, still unexpected milestone of 12K. It feels like a dream, so thank you, for making it happen.

LOL I am acting as if it’s a big deal when it’s not. Trust me, my absence won’t affect anyone - there are other great tumblr users out there, far more amazing than I am. I’m sure me leaving won’t affect anyone, but still I just want to say a proper goodbye. :)

So for my mutuals, here goes a rather ‘simplified’ but still long message specially written for you.

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