it feels like so much of my fandom has been a lie

Hi guys! As you can see in the poster above, I just reached 12K followers! Thank you so much for your utmost support and never-ending warm messages. Despite the overwhelming happiness, I am sad to announce that I am leaving Tumblr.

I know this appears to be sudden, especially after hitting such a milestone. Though to be completely honest, I’ve been thinking about it for months now. And I kept delaying said thought for the reasons of wanting to make gifs and my mutuals’ advises.

However,  I can’t lie to myself. Although being a gif-maker gives me plenty of rush and excitement, I no longer feel happy here on Tumblr. Every time I log onto my account, I keep seeing negativity on my dash (either about Seventeen or the fandom, even my friends or myself). Not to forget the amount of hate I get, plus the constant reposting done by reposters. I know I sound like a whiny baby right now, but having to keep up this blog has become a ‘task’ rather than a hobby.

I just want to rest.

Of course, I’ll still keep supporting SEVENTEEN as a Carat. I don’t know why but I feel that I haven’t contribute much to SEVENTEEN and the fandom, so I’ve decided to focus on a fansite [ @int-carats ] I’m currently running with other few members, working on respective birthday supports we are/will be handling. If you are interested to join or support us in any way, do visit International Carats [twitter: int_carats]. Currently, we are finalising Anniversary Project, simultaneously handling Jun and Hoshi’s Birthday Support.

I’ll still be providing updates + translations on my Twitter [@leewooji96] (especially for the upcoming Asia Tour as I might be going to all listed countries). I’ll continue writing Jicheol fics, even occasionally post gifs on Twitter. I just want to focus on supporting SEVENTEEN, doing things that make me happy. Rather than dealing with negativity and keeping up with something that might push me further into depression.

With that being said, I want to thank all of you for being the best mutuals and followers ever. I wish to address each and everyone of you personally, but it’ll make it harder for me to say goodbye. I did record several videos for those who have a special place in my heart, but I ended up crying most of the time, thus decided it’s best to not include them here. I’m sorry if I forgot to include any of you (mutuals especially) for  I can’t remember all, given that I keep wanting to cry. It took me a good one hour to finish this whole post. Still, do know that I am thankful to every single person here.

I am sorry for the past mistakes I’ve done. If I by chance did I hurt your feelings or made you angry in any way, please forgive my insensitive and inattentive self. As for this blog, I won’t be taking it down. I might come back or might not at all. But no need to worry as I’ll still leave my gifs here, available to be used. The reason why I made gifs is for Tumblr anyway, so yeah. Besides, this is the least I can do after hitting such an amazing, still unexpected milestone of 12K. It feels like a dream, so thank you, for making it happen.

LOL I am acting as if it’s a big deal when it’s not. Trust me, my absence won’t affect anyone - there are other great tumblr users out there, far more amazing than I am. I’m sure me leaving won’t affect anyone, but still I just want to say a proper goodbye. :)

So for my mutuals, here goes a rather ‘simplified’ but still long message specially written for you.

Keep reading

Maybe Not

Pairing: StevexReader

Fandom: Marvel

Warnings: language

A/N: I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA lately. I’m not going to lie I’ve been a lazy ass. I also just had no inspiration or motivation, but I actually want o give a special thanks to someone because their one message they sent me made me feel really special and gave me motivation to write again. Thank you so much steve-rogers-best-girl you gave me motivation and confidence in myself and in my writing. Right now I love you, your requests are so welcome and send them in when ever you feel like it.

Request from Anon: i love your bucky one shot :3 would you make a steve rogers one where the reader is his best friend and he was starting to have feelings for her when she has a date w pietro? danke, liebe X
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“So I’ll see you at 7?” Pietro asked.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” You smirked.

You winked at him and walked away, making sure to sway your hips a bit as you sauntered to the training room.

You know what’s awesome? That’s you are best friends with Captain America. You know what’s terrible? When you’re fucking in love with him. Maybe a date with Pietro will change your feeling for Steve. Probably not, but its worth a try.

Once in the training room, you saw Steve driving his fists into the punching bag with more force than normal. An angry, no, furious expression on his face. With one more violent punch to the bag, it burst open and sailed across the room.

Apparently he didn’t see you yet because all he did was stare after the destroyed bag. He was thinking about something, and it seemed to be bothering him horribly.

You’ve seen this event happen on more than one occasion, but not very often. You kept quiet analyzing what could have happened to piss him off this much. You were his best friend and could read him like a book, this shouldn’t be hard to figure out. There were only few causes for this effect to take place. Quickly you began to brainstorm.

Failed mission? No. You and him just successfully completed one a week ago.

Tony piss him off again? No. He wouldn’t get this worked up about that.

Stress? No. He would talk to you about that.

What the fuck could it be?

You looked up at him him to see him already staring at you. His face serious and hard.

“Why are you going out with Pietro?” He asked, more like demanded.

‘Is that what he’s so pissed at? I thought he was friends with Pietro? How the hell did he know about that?’ All these questions raced through your mind, but most of all you were shocked at how cold he was being.

“Why not? What’s the problem?” You snapped.

Steve just shook his head and walked away to grab another punching bag. You would never know how much he cares for you. You would never know how much he wished he could hold you in his arms at night. It would ruin everything he had with you,

Fed up with his attitude, swiftly you grabbed his arm and made him face you.

“I asked you a question. What the hell is your problem?” This time you raised your voice. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at you with angry, frustrated, and conflicted eyes.

You rolled your eyes and turned to walk out the gym, muttering how you don’t need this shit. But it was cut short.

Suddenly you were pinned up against the padded wall of the gym, your hands held above your head by one of his forearms, and the other firmly on your waist. His torso was pressed against yours, both of you breathing heavily.

“I like you, a lot. I cannot sit here on the side lines and watch you fuck around with Speedy anymore. We’ve been best friends for years, and I’m sorry if I’ve ruined what we have, but I like you, hell, love you.” He let you go and took a step back, waiting for your reply.

Not knowing what to say, you reached up and griped his shirt tightly, and brought his lips to yours.

Your lips moved together in sync. It was everything you and Steve ever wanted.

Steve broke the kiss and rested his forehead on yours.

“Oh, yeah, Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Language.”
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I’m sorry it was short, but request are always open!